servıce & sacrifice a mother’s way anna wittrock

story by | patricia carlson

She could see the crowd through the tiny window on the plane and a cluster of eager faces, holding posters, clutching balloons and waving American flags on a hot summer afternoon underneath a vibrant, baby blue sky. When the wheels screeched their welcome, people whooped with delight—“They’re home!” As the plane slowed to a stop, she craned her neck, hoping to get a sneak peak. “They’re out there somewhere,” she remembers thinking. She stands, smooths her uniform, and starts walking. Her heart races as her khaki boots grip each step on the way down and her legs wobble as she reaches the edge of the crowd. Then, as she spots them, all the chaos around her—the hugs, tears, cheers and kisses—blurs into slow-motion, like a special effect in a movie. She drops to her knees, reaches out and throws her arms around them breaking into a joyous smile of relief and comfort. She is home.

rotc

Anna Wittrock grew up the youngest of 14 children to Lester and Verna Grafstrom in Salol, Minnesota, just outside of Roseau. She was so young compared to some of her siblings that even though they grew up in the same house, they often weren’t there at the same time. “When her older brothers came home from college, she was trying to figure out who those big guys were,” her mom, Verna, says with a chuckle.

It was a simple life on a 1,000-acre farm. The highlight of Anna’s day would be catching a ride into town with an older brother or sister to check out some of the sporting events, after she got her chores done. “Of course there was always some discussion of who got to stay in the house and clean and who had to go out and feed the calves,” says Thora Bunke, Anna’s next-oldest sister and best friend.

But simple doesn’t mean it was boring. “Anna was a go-getter from the start,” says her mom. Anna played volleyball, basketball and softball and sang in the choir during high school and those two interests eventually lead her to Concordia College to pursue a degree in education. During her freshman year in the fall of 1998, Anna joined the start-up women’s hockey team. “I had never played hockey before on an organized team but I could skate. I’m from Roseau, after all,” she says laughing. “My dad used to flood a rink for us in the backyard when we were little.”

One day after practice, Anna noticed an advertisement on the wall at the gym. It was a recruitment flyer for the Army Reserve Officer Training Corps [ROTC] program.

“I thought I’d be good at it,” Anna says, adding, “I like being a leader and I’m competitive. I wanted a challenge and I wanted to take the physical fitness test. I wanted to beat the boys.” Anna dialed the number listed on the flyer that day. “I was the easiest sell ever for that recruiter,” she says, grinning. And so, in 2000, Anna enlisted in the National Guard.

After completing basic training over the summer, Anna returned to Concordia to continue the ROTC program and play hockey. But something was about to happen that would make her question the direction her life was headed.

National Guard

Anna was driving to an ROTC class when she heard the unthinkable news: planes had crashed into the World Trade Center in New York City and thousands of people had died as the Twin Towers crumbled in duress. When Anna arrived at the class, she found out terrorists were behind the attack. And she knew that as a member of the United States military she would be called upon to respond.

“I figured we’d do something,” she says stoically. “But I didn’t know to what degree the National Guard would be involved. The National Guard hadn’t deployed as often as it does now before 9/11 happened.”

The terror attacks, along with the announcement of an impending war with Iraq, made Anna question her decision to join the military for the first time. “I didn’t know if I wanted to continue or if I should quit. I think deep down I wanted to continue with the military, but I just wasn’t sure. I needed some guidance,” she remembers thinking. A phone call home gave Anna her answer.

Anna’s father never deterred her from enlisting, but she always knew he didn’t believe the military was the right place for a woman. However, when she conveyed her concerns, her dad told her, “You can’t quit now. You’ve put too much into it.” And he was right.

Anna decided to stick with being a soldier although she still wasn’t sure if it was the career she wanted. In the meantime, she and college sweetheart Cody, embarked on building a life together. Four months after graduating from Concordia in 2002, the couple married and moved to South Dakota for Cody’s job. Anna got a job at a bank but quickly realized it wasn’t for her. Cody puts it another way, “She hated it!”

Around that time, a full-time, temporary position as a training officer opened up with the North Dakota National Guard in Valley City. Despite the distance between Valley City and South Dakota, Anna didn’t need much convincing that taking the job and diving full-time into the military world was the right move. With Cody’s full support, Anna moved to Moorhead, lived with her sister Thora, and drove to Valley City to work for what was then known as Headquarters and

“It was awesome,” Anna says with a huge smile, remembering the summer day she stepped off that plane, dropped to her knees and enveloped her family in her arms

Headquarters Company [HHC], 141st Engineer Combat Battalion. She and Cody saw each other on weekends. “I guess one thing we’ve learned in this relationship is that absence makes the heart grow fonder,” Cody says. “I’ve always chased her and I still will.” iraq

November 2003. Anna and Cody had been married for 14 months when she got her mobilization orders; she would be heading to the place she had initially feared—the war in Iraq. At the time, Anna says she remembers feeling a lot of anxiety because so much was unknown about warfare in the middle-east. “You just didn’t know what was out there,” she says. “We deployed in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom II and there wasn’t a lot of established tactics, techniques and procedures to combat insurgency.”

Anna also had Cody on her mind. How could she leave him again—this time going to a dangerous war zone—after already living apart from him for the first six months of their marriage? Clearly she didn’t have a choice, but that didn’t make the situation any easier for either of them.

In January 2004, Anna left Cody behind and flew to Iraq to begin her mission. She turned 25 while there and also was a new lieutenant, continuing to climb the National Guard ranks. Anna headed a human resources department filled with 10 other female soldiers. “Being a woman I couldn’t be with an engineering line company, so that was hard,” she says. “But being in charge of that many women was a good learning experience.” Even though Anna’s role during the war may have been administrative, like anyone exposed to the horrors of war, she experienced great grief that still haunts her today. “We lost four soldiers while I was there,” she says quietly. “For me, sometimes it’s like I have to convince myself that I really was there. I don’t know if I block it out on purpose, or maybe it’s because my immediate focus is on my boys and my family right now.”

Home

Anna returned home in February 2005, but one thing had changed—she and Cody were living in Moorhead, together. While she was deployed, Cody embarked on a new career and eventually started his own construction business. Luckily, the move put them closer to immediate family; Thora lived in town, as did two of Anna’s other siblings. Anna and Cody were also ready to start a family. First came Cole, who is now 5; Jude, 3, followed a year and a half later. A natural born leader, Anna now found herself in charge of something entirely new—two precious and precocious boys. And just like her role in the military, it was a perfect fit. “She gets the boys into a lot of activities that I never even think about,” her husband says. “She's creative with their rooms and always has the favorite birthday or Christmas present for the boys.”

As Anna’s home life was changing, so too, was her career in the Guard. She continued to work for the National Guard, only by this time, she had earned a permanent full-time position as the Officer Strength Manager in Fargo, ND.

Coincidentally, the promotion put her back in touch with her college hockey coach, Major Debra Lien, who was also working full-time with the ND National Guard as the Officer in Charge for the 231st Brigade Support Battalion in Valley City. “I knew that she would be a hard worker, she had demonstrated the willingness to learn and also had the capabilities to be a good officer. Anna is a calm leader,” Maj. Lien says. “She never really gets too excited or anxious. She has tremendous people skills and communications skills. I believe that soldiers find her easy to approach with a problem and she is able to provide them the guidance that they are seeking.”

Anna supervises a group of full-time soldiers and hundreds of other soldiers who serve in a traditional weekend and two-weeks-a-year capacity. It’s a fulfilling career, something this natural born leader not only takes pride in but is also good at. “People in the community thank you for your service,” Anna says. “It’s humbling.” sacrifice

It’s also a huge sacrifice. Five years after Anna returned home from war, she got another mobilization call for a peacekeeping mission in Kosovo. If she thought leaving her husband behind the first time was difficult, learning she wouldn’t see her two boys for a year was devastating.

She and Cody prepared for another separation, this time having to explain to their toddler boys, ages three and two at the time, that their mom was leaving home for a year. “Telling them was hard, I knew it was going to be hard,” Anna says. “We bought a map and showed them where Kosovo was. They didn’t care, they couldn’t. They didn’t really have a concept of time at that age.” But Anna did and she knew being away from her family was going to be the hardest thing she’d ever done, maybe even as hard as heading to war.

Anna will never forget the day she left. The family of four climbed into the car for the short drive over to her sister Thora’s where Cole and Jude loved to play with their three cousins. As Anna prepared to leave, she called her boys over. “Ok, guys, I’m going,” she said in between hugs and kisses, careful not to let them see her cry. “I’ll be gone a long time. But I love you and I’ll see you on the computer.” The boys, eager to play and unable to understand the implication behind their mom’s words, bounded away—“Ok, love ya mom!,” they shouted. Anna walked back to the car and settled into the passenger seat next to Cody. And there, impeccably dressed in her uniform, a soldier cried. “I broke down,” she says. “Just broke down.”

It was a painful moment for her sister, too. “There she stood, about to leave these two little boys for one full year,” Thora says. “Heartbreaking. In the back of my mind, I'm thinking about the birthday parties she was going to miss, the holiday celebrations, missing her boys and the funny things kids say every day. How strong she must be!” kosovo

Anna’s deployment to Kosovo was unlike her mission in Iraq in almost every way. “It was peacekeeping mission,” Anna says, adding, “I didn’t feel unsafe at all.” By this time, she was a Battle Captain and was in charge of tracking current operations for the 141st Maneuver Enhanced Brigade. Anna worked with soldiers from Ukraine, Poland, Greece and Turkey in a joint operations center.

Meanwhile, life was anything but boring for Cody. The dad of two young boys was now responsible for running the household. “I can't say the house was super clean but it was picked up. Laundry was done, bedding would get washed and beds got made,” he says.

Luckily, Anna and Cody’s families stepped in to take some of the pressure off of Cody. Their niece, Kim Grafstrom, moved into the spare bedroom and cared for the boys while in between going to college. Thora and another of Anna’s sisters, Renae, were there in a pinch too, taking the kids to church, picking them up from daycare or cooking those nutritious dinners Cody sometimes needed help preparing.

Even though she was a continent away, the sacrifice Anna’s extended family was making did not go unnoticed. “I can’t emphasize enough the support system we had. Our whole family served, not just me.”

Technology had changed for the better since Anna’s first deployment to Iraq. She was able to communicate daily with her family. “It was very good for the boys to be able to see that their mom was still alive somewhere,” says Cody. “They would always tell people that their mom was in Kosovo but had no idea where it was at.” Still, a virtual hug couldn’t replace the real thing and when the holidays rolled around, times got tough. “When they’re celebrating Christmas, or other events, you can’t help but be bummed,” Anna says. “But you can’t let yourself get down or feel sorry for yourself. It doesn’t make things better. Besides, everyone’s in same situation.”

Home Again

If you ask Anna, she’ll tell you there is no feeling quite like that of your child’s arms wrapped around you in a warm, welcoming hug. And on July 24, 2010, after a yearlong deployment, she got to feel that sensation again.

“It was awesome,” Anna says with a huge smile, remembering the summer day she stepped off that plane, dropped to her knees and enveloped her family in her arms. “My heart was racing. I had butterflies. I couldn’t get to the boys and Cody fast enough.”

Since Anna’s return, the Wittrock’s have settled into an easy, familiar routine. Anna has resumed her ‘mommy’ duties and Cody is happy to be ‘just a dad.’ To the boys, Anna’s deployment is a forgotten memory, but she knows that one day her children will realize what her uniform means. For one, it stands for courage, honor and service and it has opened doors to experiences and travels a small town girl could only dream of. In fact, Anna is one of less than one percent of people in the nation who serves in uniform, something that she acknowledges is both impressive and sad. “When I heard that, I couldn’t believe it,” she says. “It’s an honor to serve.”

Anna’s camouflage is also a constant reminder of the tug-of-war the military will play with her family and the sacrifice she’s made. She knows it was, and is, the right choice for her and her family and says she would even encourage her sons to enlist when they get older. Perhaps most important to Anna though, is that we remember the men and women who paved the way for soldiers like her and helped make our country what it is today. “The thing that stands out for me is the civic duty behind serving. When I’m at a parade and I see the veterans from the VFW guys walking by carrying the flag—some of them can hardly walk—they’re still out there serving,” she says tears springing to her eyes. “It’s an emotional thing to see and I tell my boys, ‘You respect them for what they did for you and respect the flag and all it stands for.’”

Well, Anna, we respect you and admire your commitment to serve our country. And we’re glad that no matter where the military takes you, you will always have a place to call home. It’s a familiar spot that’s warm and cozy, filled with smiles and kisses—the arms of your loving family.