wee ones

So,your wee one can’t talk yet, but being prego or having a new baby can prompt some interesting questions from a curious sibling, niece, nephew or stranger about the miracle of life. I remember being about seven-months pregnant, chatting with my sister in-law as my 5-year-old twin nieces watched television. Out of the blue one of the girls turns to me and asks, “How’s that baby get out of your tummy?” I thought to myself, “Honey, you DO NOT want to know!”

in & out lowdown

Oh, the miracle of life. Isn’t it an amazing process? Yes, of course…if you’re talking to another adult! When a kiddo inquires about the details of the baby getting in or out, it can stop you in your tracks. You need to give an answer even if you would rather run out of the room. There isn’t one “right” answer, but here are some tips to help you answer appropriately:

• come again? Take a moment and ask for some clarification before you answer. A 4-year-old asking where babies come from may simply be wondering if your wee one came from Target or Wal-mart while a 11-year-old may not be satisfied with an answer as simple as “the hospital.” hey, look at that!

• who’s yo mama? If the child asking is yours, and you understand their question, the next step is to answer as honestly as you can to satisfy their curiosity, again taking into account their age. If it is someone else’s child, feel free to tell them they need to ask their parent.

• have ya heard of the stork? Again, you want to be honest, but in terms the kiddo asking can understand. You also don’t want to scare the crap out of them! Keep it simple. As adults we tend to make things more complex than they sometimes need to be. Keep your answer simple, truthful and age appropriate. Your simple answer may do the trick, but be ready for follow-up questions.

Ourtots are observant. They notice EVERYTHING and tend to share their observations in what can be considered not exactly politically correct. But noticing differences in people and asking questions gives you the perfect teaching opportunity.

Have you experienced that mortifying moment in public when your tot asks you a question or points out a characteristic of another person that you worry will be taken as offensive? And usually these comments are made right in front of the other person and at a decibel that could be heard outside the store and across the parking lot! But the important thing isn’t the question or statement, it’s how you react! Your tot’s comments aren’t a reflection of prejudice in your family; he’s looking for facts and learning about his world. Shushing your tot and scurrying away implies that what he is noticing is “bad” or “wrong.” When differences are pointed out, you should answer in a matter-of-fact manner and promote embracing diversity and tolerance:

• why is he fat? Point out that people are different sizes and being different is OK. Explain how you are a different size compared to him.

• why is her skin brown? Let him know that people are born with different skin colors. Just like people have different hair and eye color.

• I don’t like how she talks. Tell him that we speak the way our families speak and not every family speaks the same way. Also point out that the way he speaks sounds different to that person too.

• what’s wrong with him? Children can be curious and even nervous about people with disabilities. First, help him rephrase his question, such as “are you wondering about her wheelchair?” This takes away any judgment that was in his original statement. Then you can answer his question, “sometimes people can’t walk because their muscles aren’t strong enough so her wheelchair helps her move.”