90% of Americans believe adultery is morally wrong big kids [6–9 years]

Timefor you and the honey is sparse to say the least. So when you get a little time for “wink-wink-nudgenudge,” you take advantage of it. Right? The tide turns in a hurry if the heat of the moment is interrupted with a shy big kid asking “Mom, what are you doing?” at the foot of the bed…UH-OH!

What Was That

Getting caught in the moment, whether by little eyes seeing or ears hearing, can be bit disturbing for everyone involved, but it doesn’t mean you have years of therapy in your future. If you get caught with your pants down [sorry, it was too easy] here are some pointers for talking with your peeping big kid:

• deep breath Don’t freak out! Your big kid walking in on you doesn’t mean he is mentally scared for life. Getting hysterical will only make matters worse.

• you saw what? You need to talk to your big kid about what they saw or heard. For younger kids, you probably just need to tell them you and your partner were hugging or wrestling and no one was getting hurt. For older kids, they know what you were doing and are probably grossed-out. It’s pretty universal that no one wants to ever really believe their parents have sex, let alone see it! For your big kid, odds are they are going to have some questions. So, start by asking him what he saw or what he thought he saw. Then you can answer his questions appropriately.

• the talk How you explain things really depends on the maturity level of your big kid and what you have discussed in the past about sex. You might not be ready to talk about this, but your big kid might be. A full blown birds and the bees talk might not be necessary, but if your big kid knows there was more than hugging going down, focus your talk on the fact that you and your partner love each other rather than the hard details of having sex.

Many of you did some planning when it came to making those adorable kiddos, so consider a little advance planning to your mattress mambo sessions to ensure all uninvited guests stay that way. Step one, lock the door! Genius, right? Next, turn off the light and add a little music or turn on the TV. Ben Franklin was right on when he said, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.”

Thetweener years can be tricky. You still have a child, but a budding adult is waiting in the wings. Increased self-consciousness is common and you never want to fuel any type of insecurity, so what do you do if your tweener asks you, “Am I fat?” you have the right to remain silent

So, what do you say in that situation? “Mom, do you think I’m fat?” Well, don’t answer! A simple yes or no, regardless of your tweener’s body composition, isn’t the right answer. You should put the question back on them [“What do you think?” or “How do you feel?” ] and determine why they are asking. How do they see themselves? If your tweener doesn’t have any unrealistic body image views, what should you do if the honest answer is yes? Well, time to take action and help your tweener make some healthy lifestyle changes with these tips:

• get the facts Help your tweener do some research on their healthy weight. Set an appointment with your physician and put together a plan incorporating healthy eating and physical activity.

• no tunnel vision Make sure you help your tweener keep things in perspective. Focusing only on the numbers on the scale isn’t healthy. Help your tweener focus on eating healthier and getting active. Remind them that what is inside is always the most important part of a person.

• be on board Make sure you are “all in” when it comes to being supportive of the healthy lifestyle changes your tweener is embracing. Make healthy food selections readily available and remove the temptations. Be supportive, but don’t nag and be an example. Make sure you are modeling healthy eating and activity habits. Also, be conscious of how you talk about your own body and respective weight. Talking critically about yourself could prompt your tweener to do the same.