blessed beyond measure

But the thing you most need to know about Jess is what she’s not. She isn’t a caricature of mothers of large families you see on cable. She’s not a rigid, type-A, control freak who rules with an iron fist. Nor is she a reality-television darling who has been pregnant for over 135 months [and counting!] of her life.

For all the talk [and stares] about how many children she has, Jess insists she’s a regular mom, just like you or me. “We’re just normal, boring people who have tacos on Friday night,” Jess says with a chuckle.

“I was sitting there with a friend of mine and Jess came walking in with a bright yellow rain jacket, curls a bouncing, and we looked at each other and said, ''WOW!" Jared says.

Twenty-year-old Jared was smitten from the start. However, months went by before the 19-year-old bubbly girl with the curly hair and bright, blue eyes noticed him. “We didn’t go to a very big church, about 100 people. Well, apparently he’d been going there for about two months before I noticed him!” Jess exclaims with a laugh.

The thing is, she’s telling the truth. She runs errands and cleans house. She schedules piano practice and bath times [sometimes, even her own!]. She balances the family budget and special time for each of her kids. Through it all, she tries to keep her sanity. Yup, just like you and me!

A Spoonful Of Tomatoes And Love

Every couple has a story of how they met. Jess and Jared’s begins in church.

That moment finally came—believe it or not—when Jess scooped a pile of tomatoes onto Jared’s plate at a church bar-b-que. “That’s romantic, huh!”

Jess and Jared began hanging out with mutual friends, and over the course of a couple of months developed a friendship. During that time, they discovered that they were each looking for a serious relationship, one that could potentially end in marriage.

Naturally, the topic of children came up. “We thought a larger family sounded fun,” Jared remembers. They tossed around numbers, like four or six kids, but decided not to plan anything at that moment, except their wedding.

In November 1998, the couple married in Fargo. While starting a family wasn’t their first priority, it wasn’t something they were trying to avoid, either. She finally found out she was pregnant close to the couple’s one-year anniversary. “Boy, we thought we were gonna as she runs through their names and photos: Alexis, Madeline, Bradyn, Austin, Keilah Grace, Harrison, Sophie Claire, Sullivan and the newest addition, as of March, Sebastian.

If you’re wondering if the excitement and wonder behind each pregnancy and birth ever dulls, the answer, according to the couple’s oldest child, Alexis, who’s 10, is an emphatic, ‘No!’ When the news breaks, Alexis says her reaction is always the same, “Oh my, another one! How exciting—woot hoot!” have problems having children because we didn’t get pregnant that first year,” Jess says, showcasing her sarcastic sense of humor. “Apparently my body only had to do it once before it was like, wahoooo!”

Over the past decade, while Jared’s career flourished working for a specialty elevator company, Jess has given birth to five boys and four girls, an average of 16 months apart. Like every proud mom, she carries their pictures with her everywhere she goes. And she beams

Having such a large family is certainly a life choice for Jess and Jared, but it’s a choice they made together, with the shared belief that they are meant to be parents to as many children as they are blessed to have. They’re quick to acknowledge that not everyone feels the same way about their decision.

“I won't pretend it's a choice I "understand", but somewhere along the way, I realized that I didn't need to understand it,” her older sister, Sarah Kuck, says. “I just know I love Jessica, Jared, each of their little ones, and I can't imagine our family without them.”

A Pinch Of Patience

It’s probably safe to say that most households with children operate somewhere between free-for-all chaos and a dictatorship. Even with nine children, Jess manages to find a middle ground—organized chaos.

Jess’ day begins around 6am and she maintains that whirlwind, frenetic pace for the next 15 hours. The youngest children, Sophie Claire, Sullivan and Sebastian, are up first. She tends to their needs [nursing and diapering] and Jared pitches in, in between getting ready for work.

“Jared is a huge help. But if he could nurse, I would make him!” she exclaims, giggling.

On school days, the rest of the kids start to rise and shine at 7am. They make their beds, do chores and get dressed. The older kids who take piano try to fit in a practice session. Then, the entire clan gathers around the table to eat breakfast together. “It’s just easier to feed them all together,” Jess says.

A friend takes the oldest four children to school, leaving Jess to fill the hours with five toddlers and infants. Her days are filled exactly as you’d expect a full-time mother’s to be, with feedings, diaper and clothing changes, activity time, naps [not for her!], laundry, errands, and lunch and dinner preparation. Only in Jess’ case, everything is amplified. But she takes it all in stride with her delightful sense of humor.

She usually does three to five loads of laundry per day. “It really depends on who wet the bed and how much spitting up went on!” Jess jokes that she has the largest super-capacity washer/dryer combo on the market.

The family gets by with doing just one load of dishes a day by using paper plates for lunch and supper. But before your cringe at her so-called wasteful ways, keep in mind that this helps keep the Rivers’ water usage down. “I guess we hope the water savings makes up for our trash bin. Everyone keeps the same cup out for the day and this also helps cut down on dishes.” Even so, the family tosses out two to three bags filled with garbage a day.

When it comes to errands, Jess likes to make all her trips in one day. If a kid cries or throws a fit, so be it, she says, there is a lot of stuff to get done. “Our most popular destinations are Sam's Club, Target, and Wal-Mart. And in that order too! Other families might buy most of their groceries at the grocery store while we just supplement there and buy most of ours at Sam's Club.”

By the time Jess has mastered the delicate balance of caring for her kids and getting the laundry, dishes and errands done, it’s 3pm and the older kids bust through the door home from school. “That’s when you pick up with homework and piano lessons right away!”

And don’t forget about bath time! The oldest four kids shower on their own; “One more self-sufficient person. Yay!” Jess says. But the younger four children are on an every-other-day schedule. “They have baths on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays, unless one of them finds a mud puddle or is left alone with their oatmeal too long, and that has happened on more than one occasion! The baby, Sebastian, gets a bath whenever Mommy or Daddy can squeeze it in which is usually twice a week unless a major blowout occurs.”

Jess finally finds some quiet time when the older kids are in bed at 9pm. “But sometimes at night, when they’re all in bed, I clean. Sometimes that’s the only time I can find to fit it in. And even though that’s rough, I feel better in the morning when I wake up to a clean house.”

Jared says, no matter what, his wife gives it her best, day in and day out. “Jess is a very sensitive mother to each of our children and looks out for their individual needs physically, mentally, and spiritually. She tries to be as organized as possible and I know this helps maintain our sanity at home. It's hard to run a ship as large as ours without some type of a schedule.”

“People always assume you have to be super-patient and laid back, I’m so not,” Jess says. “I’m a perfectionist that God has had to work on.”

Nonetheless, there are days when she worries if her kids are getting enough quality attention. “Sometimes I wonder, ‘Who do I get first?’ Who’s crying the loudest? Who’s bleeding?’ But peace doesn’t always mean serenity all the time. We all make choices where we know it’s the right thing, but it’s still tough.”

Even with all the house-keeping, errand-running, and child-caring Jess does on a daily basis, she still strives to maintain her passions and interests beyond being a mom. Running, is one of her favorite pastimes.

“It's a great outlet for me to reduce stress, and ever since high school, I've always enjoyed running. There's nothing like the wind in your face, the smell of a freshly mowed lawn, and some good tunes in your ear, and off I go! It's an energy lifter for sure!” Jess has run the 5k-race at the Fargo Marathon and hopes to one day compete in the half and full-marathon.

And every once in awhile, she escapes into the bathroom when Jared comes home. Usually, she says it’s because the kids have driven her mad that day and she needs to unwind in peace and quiet. “I head in for a good, hot bubble bath and a locked door,” she says with smile. “And in 25 minutes I can come out feeling like a new woman!”