June/July 2012 On the Minds of Moms

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

PUBLISHER DS Communication, LLC

EDITOR Dani Parkos Fluge

COPY EDITOR Deb Uglem

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e: karan@onthemindsofmoms.com

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PHOTOGRAPHY Ria Czichotzki – rialee photography

Sabrina Kliniske– rialee photography

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Lindsey Johnson-rialee photography

Scott Thuen – thuen studios

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AD DESIGN Casie Beldo

Scott Thuen

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EDITORIAL CONTACT e: info@onthemindsofmoms.com

INFORMATION mail: PO Box 190, Fargo, ND 58107

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OTMOM MISSION STATEMENT

On The Minds Of Moms Magazine is dedicated to providing parents of all ages a bi-monthly resource they can trust. A fresh approach to traditional parenting publications, we are modern and inspiring while offering a community of local support and real-life advice for today’s family.

On The Minds Of Moms contains views from across the parenting spectrum. These views do not necessarily reflect those of the publisher. All activities listed in these pages are at your own risk and require appropriate supervision.

OTMOM is a FREE publication available at all Fargo-Moorhead Hornbachers, Sunmart and Grand Forks – East Grand Forks Hugos grocery store locations. Distribution also includes all partnering advertisers.

rachel anderson

dilworth | mn

Born in the Philippines and raised in Grand Forks, ND, Rachel, her husband Tom, and their kids, Tommy [12], Caleb [8], Luke [6], and Selah [6 months] enjoy attending sporting events and consider themselves a busy hockey and baseball family. After earning a degree from the University of North Dakota and Massage Therapy Licensing in Fort Collins, CO, Rachel discovered her true passion was to be a part of a health and nutrition movement that is changing peoples’ lives. As the owner of Revive Professional Massage Therapy Clinic in Fargo, she loves educating people about simple practical ways to improve their health through massage and nutrition.

dr. tiffany johnson

fargo | nd

Owner of Healing Touch Chiropractic, a family focused chiropractic clinic serving the North Dakota and northwestern Minnesota communities of Fargo, Moorhead and West Fargo, Dr. Tiffany is all about creating wellness and living your life to its fullest potential. Her interest in family health is a personal one; as a wife and mother of two young children, she understands the challenges families face today when trying to live a wellness lifestyle.

cinde morris

west fargo | nd

Originally from Bay City, Michigan, Cinde has endured a love-hate relationship for the last seven years with the state of North Dakota and its harsh winters, yet every spring she develops weather amnesia and swears she loves it. She works for an engineering firm as a Geographic Information Systems Specialist and in her past time Cinde likes roller skating [she is a retired Fargo-Moorhead Derby Girl], writing and of course doing absolutely anything with her husband and son, Rohan [7],that makes them laugh.

patricia carlson

dilworth | mn

What do you get when you mix a full-time, freelance writer with a 1-year-old girl, two cats, a dog, a husband who works evenings, a house that needs picking up and nearly a dozen publications and clients who need their dead lines met? Welcome to Patricia Carlson’s life. She is an award-winning journalist whose work spans magazines, television, radio, newspapers and the internet. She has produced, written, edited and directed programs for ESPN Radio, History Channel and Hallmark Channel. And she hosts customized media training workshops for groups like the North Dakota National Guard. You can view her work at www.patriciacarlsonfreelance.com

deb uglem

moorhead | mn

Raised in Finely, ND, Deb has called Moorhead, MN her home for the last 10 years and has been a stay-at-home mom since returning to the area. She graduated from Drake University in Des Moines, Iowa with a degree in Journalism and Mass Communications. She is excited about her newfound time to write and finds it a welcome distraction to her daily activities. Most daily to-do’s center around her four children’s sport and school activities. Jake [17], Tony [16], Nick [16] and Emily [14] keep both her and husband Tim running in several directions. During her free time you can find her putting in some road miles, spending time with friends, or on the golf course.

kari peterson

glyndon | mn

Raised in Glyndon, MN. Kari married her first husband when she was 20-years-old and they welcomed their first child a few years later. As a young mother she worked full-time during the day and went back to school in the evenings to complete her college degrees, but a few years after her second child was born, her first marriage of 10 years ended in divorce.  Since this time Kari has experienced how influential successful co-parenting can be for the entire family. This approach has provided a stable and loving environment for her two sons, whom she happily co-parents with her ex-spouse. Today, Kari is a busy mother of four who works full time for Microsoft and lives in Glyndon with her husband, Chad.  She enjoys taking pictures of her children and sitting around an evening campfire with her family in the summer.

200

the percent increase in canine diabetes since 1980 It’s not only about watchin’ what we eat but also what we’re treating our furry friends to

34

percent of teenagers had summer jobs in 2011 Will your teen be working for their “wants” this summer?

sources: healthyliving | usaa

the average age of new moms, compared to 21-years-old in 1970

Growing up on a hobby farm outside of Perham, MN, and the oldest of two siblings, Sher Thomsen has experienced compassion and adventure in many ways Riding horses for as long as she can remember, Sher still enjoys anything to do with animals and has spent a significant amount of time in her adult life working to help animals in the several communities that she have lived in As the United Way of Cass-Clay President, Sher and husband Joel have followed their professional careers to Minneapolis, MN; Austin, TX; Baton Rouge, LA; Hallowell, ME and Davis, CA before returning and making their home in Fargo While moving around the country, the couple have purchased and restored/remodeled 23 homes with houses ranging from “nearly new” to a home that was built in 1735 Sher’s hobbies include a book club, that she adores, as well as spending time with her boys, Heath [7] and Pierce [3 ½] and family at the lake

photos: rialee photography | lindsey johnson

one word that best describes my parenting style… engaged!

my favorite TV family of all time… the Costanza’s from Seinfeld.

something i always have extras of in my refrigerator…

Chobani Greek Yogurt…usually blueberry.

the first word that pops into my head when i hear the word ‘mom’… joy, pure joy.

i’m privileged to say…

we have fostered over 100 animals that have been placed in loving homes; some of which have become our own pets.

on my night stand right now are… pictures of the boys, books for my book club and cuticle oil.

the beauty product i can’t live without… lip gloss.

when i give myself a time out i… get my toes done with two dear friends.

the phrase I’ve said more than any other at home is…

“shhh…” [I live in a house with 2 boys, no wait 3 including my husband!]

craziest thing i’ve done…

it maybe doesn’t belong in a family magazine, but it sure was fun!

if i were to write a parenting manual, the title would be…

bathtub mishaps and other things requiring bleach OR Parenting: A blessing disguised as sleepless nights and the question “why?”

something i appreciate about getting older is… the wisdom that comes with experience.

i feel most beautiful when…

i’m in a t-shirt, jeans, wearing lip gloss and pearls.

if i were a color, i’d be…

orange because it’s youthful, lively, fearless, curious, fun-loving and social.

the tidiest part of my house is… the living room with the white couch, yes a white couch really.

the best mistake i’ve made…

this is hard for me to answer. Not because I don’t make mistakes, I do, probably everyday but it’s all about perspective…when I make a mistake I focus on the “what will I do differently next time” not the mistake itself.

my ‘pick-me-up’ of choice…

ideally, a hug from my boys but a cinnamon dolce latte would due in a pinch. date night for me means…

a movie with Joel [epic/drama/comedy] followed by dessert from Nichole’s Fine Pastry.

ways i bond with my boys…

spending time with them, specifically reading books…lots of books.

a summer tradition my family lives for… playing at the lake with family and friends and sitting around the campfire roasting marshmallows while listening to Joel play guitar or banjo.

three words that describe me as a wife… supportive, funny and organized.

a benefit for all ages

story by | rachel alderson, LMT

Would you be surprised to know you probably use massage on a daily basis? It’s wired in many of us maternally without even realizing it. We rub a sore tummy, squeeze tired feet and rhythmically pat a sweet baby to sleep. These are all forms of massage. I am sure if you are like me and your child complains of a sore muscle or joint you have told them to rub it to make it feel better, but what happens when that pain goes to the next level?

At Revive we are often approached by moms who are concerned for their children. Our children are suffering more and more from headaches, muscle soreness, muscle knots and pain. Think back for a second to when your children were babies. Remember the feel of their squishy muscles? Those baby, soft muscles that are very pliable, even in tone, and lacking density are really what we want our children’s muscles to feel

like for as long as possible. Muscle memory is being created in our children as they work on their fine and gross motor skills. Much of that muscle memory allows them to be more efficient in their day to day activities, but it can also create pain, strain, and compensation of other muscle groups in ineffective/inefficient ways.

“Why is that?” you may ask. Well, poor posture is often the first culprit. And there are a variety of factors that can be responsible:

• walk this way If you are like me and have an 11-year-old [aka tweener] you already have noticed him beginning the “cool guy” stride usually several feet in front or behind of you, typically while in public. Or maybe you have noticed him slouching in the car, as you sing your favorite tunes, while driving by his school. Maybe it is while sitting at the table as you demand he eat his veggies. The point is bad posture is very prevalent in this age and this

inefficient pattern of sitting and standing can create muscle memory that can result in pain, soreness, stiffness, as well as muscle knots.

• kinked nitey-nite Bad and awkward sleeping patterns can also result in poor muscle memory. Our tummy sleepers are more likely to have low back and neck pain. Not to mention sleeping in the car on those long road trips to and from Grandma’s house or those out of town sporting events. I also have 6 and 7-year-old boys who love to “camp out” watching movies and sleeping on the basement floor on the weekends. This is also not great for their muscles.

• gimme the ball Sports are huge factors as well, kids now-a-days are often practicing three to five days a week, often for multiple sports. This creates a huge amount of strain on their bodies. Not to mention how it’s all complicated when we combine the fact that they are still growing! All of this puts them at a higher susceptibility to injury when that muscle memory is ineffective. You often hear of athletes such as hockey players working on things like their stride. If they just tweak their stride slightly to make it more efficient, they will be faster, more powerful skaters. This tweaking is simply changing their muscle memory to a more efficient pattern.

Repetitive movement from video games, slouching over homework, not to mention lugging around those heavy laden backpacks are also big contributing factors. Oh, and did I mention I have three boys that are constantly tripping, falling and wrestling? All of these things can contribute to sore and tired muscles, muscle pain and strain, headaches, fatigue, irritability and injury.

what to do…

That’s it! We can’t have them getting hurt! We’re fitting them all for helmets and bubble wrap! Ok, ok so that isn’t realistic. But helping our kids with things like posture can be a great starting point. Making them aware of things like sleeping patterns and lightening the load of the things they carry can help achieve a more efficient body mechanic. And truly kids are resilient sponges. They can, and likely will, bounce back from many injuries and learn to use proper mechanics quickly.

When we know better, we do better. We welcome all questions and want to help your children. Massage can help in areas such as managing and eliminating pain, preventing injury, assisting in injury recovery,

decreasing the frequency and intensity of headaches and migraines and help improve sleep patterns just to name a few.

As we teach our children to take care of themselves, massage is a great tool in caring for their bodies. After all they only get one…just like you! We all know that the best thing we can do for our children, is to take care of their Mom and Dad! So, if you are suffering from conditions such as chronic pain, headaches, poor sleeping patterns or injuries, just to name a few, you need massage as well. Massage is GREAT for the whole family!

The state of North Dakota requires parental consent for anyone under the age of 18 to receive massage. At Revive we create a very safe environment for children to receive their therapeutic treatments. Parents are able to be in the room if the child [or parent] is more comfortable with that. Seven of our 13 Licensed Massage Therapists [LMT] are Moms, so they know how to and take great effort to make the children they are working with feel comfortable. We also have LMTs on staff that are coaches, studying athletic training and have a history of working with kids with special needs from a caregiver and massage standpoint. We feel we are very well equipped to assist any child, birth to age 18, with massage if it is indicated as an appropriate treatment. Massage no longer than 30 minutes is recommended for children younger than 13-years-old. After age 13, children can often receive an hour massage, but we can help you determine the length of treatment based on the child’s needs and concerns. Call us and we will help to line you up with the appropriate style of massage as well as the right therapist for your child. And follow us on Facebook to receive news, specials, and updates. Gift Certificates available. We also have online scheduling.

Monday-Friday 9:30am-8:30pm Saturdays 10:00am-4:00pm additional appointments available by request

the reality of parenting after divorce

photo: thuen studios | scott thuen

story by | kari peterson

The alarm goes off and like a well-oiled machine the routine starts. Take a shower, wake up the kids, get them dressed, eat breakfast and line up the coats and backpacks. Meanwhile, you and your husband pass each other on the way out the door stopping long enough to review the evening agenda [while reminding your kids for the third time to put on their shoes!]. You both quickly decide to meet at the house at 5:30pm to eat dinner because you have to be at the baseball field by 6:30pm and dance starts at 7:00pm. You decide to divide and conquer, then meet back at the house to give the kids a bath, read a story and get them off to bed. At this point there are so many options—clean up the kitchen, wash clothes, fit in the workout you didn’t get in today or, in some cases, simply collapse. You both go to bed exhausted and the next morning the alarm goes off and you both do it all over again. Sound familiar?

It is this routine [combined with the stress of work, debt, finances and a variety of other factors] that can sometimes lead to disagreements and take a toll on a marriage. I’m sure you have heard someone say, “we are just not in love anymore” or “life would be easier if we just got a divorce.” My ex-husband and I went through a divorce nine years ago when our boys, were 8 and 2-years-old at the time. Looking back, I don’t think either of us was prepared for the reality of life after divorce with children.

a new everything

After the separation or divorce you progress through different emotional stages of loss and grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance. Initially, you are forced to work with your ex-spouse to figure out the new living arrangements and divide your belongings. You are also adapting to life as a single mom and the added responsibilities it entails.

Your goal is to settle back into a routine as quickly as possible for your children. Yet, when you are in the denial or anger phase, it is very difficult to have a conversation with your ex-spouse even if it’s about how the bathroom towels should be divided up. You realize the argument is ridiculous because the towels were given to you as a wedding gift 10 years ago and need to be replaced. However, you are now faced with the reality of living on one paycheck and while the towels may not be a priority when the electric bill needs to be paid, you are stubborn and fight over the old towels. You also need to figure out how the yard will get mowed and who to call when the hot water heater goes out. Not to mention how to be in two places at once when it comes to dropping off kids at their activities. The routine you once shared with your ex-spouse comes to a grinding halt and all of a sudden the well-oiled machine needs some major adjusting.

a little how-to help

After we separated, I went to a local bookstore and searched for books on “co-parenting” [a term I had never heard of until we met with our lawyer]. Co-parenting refers to an arrangement in a divorce or separation where parents share legal and physical custody. While I recognized that every situation is different, I was looking for a guide that walked me through a checklist of how to successfully co-parent with my ex-husband.

When you have children, the relationship with your ex-spouse does not end when you get divorced. You cannot just move away or ignore each other. In truth, you will need to work together and communicate on a regular basis. You will need to make decisions regarding the schedule, expenses, extra-curricular activities, medical/dental treatment, etc. Additionally, you will need to interact with each other while picking up and dropping off the kids. And it is mentally exhausting some days! There were days when I thought it would have been easier if we somehow could have figured out how to just stay married. For some reason, these things did not seem so challenging prior to the divorce.

So, there had to be “experts” that addressed this subject and shared their wisdom on how to tackle this new parenting venture, right? Wrong. I didn’t find what I was looking for in the bookstore. Instead, for the past nine years we have learned to co-parent through trial and error. Sure, we’re not perfect and still make mistakes,

but our guiding principle has always been to focus on what is best for the children.

Over the years I have talked about the reality of life after divorce and what it takes to successfully co-parent with individuals who were either considering divorce or who were already there. These conversations inspired me to develop a website, www.coparentsuccessfully. com, and publish a quick-start guide [designed to be read in less than an hour for busy parents] entitled, “Co-Parent Successfully: A Guide to Raising Children in Two Different Houses.” Honestly, this is what I was looking for the day I walked into the bookstore so many years ago.

not alone

“Co-Parent Successfully: A Guide to Raising Children in Two Different Houses” [available as an ebook on Amazon for $2.99], encourages parents to take a boardroom approach to raising children together after divorce and highlights the lessons I’ve learned after nine years of co-parenting. For instance, the parenting schedule was one of the most difficult areas for us to communicate

and agree on initially after the divorce. Emotion played a big part in this. Prior to our divorce, I was there for our children every day and night. I was there to wake them up in the morning, and there to sing them a song and put them to bed each night. If they woke up in the middle of the night not feeling well or with a nightmare, I was there to console them. The reality is that after divorce, this is no longer the case. Time with your children is now split between two houses. On paper, it seems fair that you should split up the weeks in the month evenly so that each parent is able to spend time with the children. Emotionally, this is difficult to accept. The schedule we follow and I discuss in the guide is every other week, with the exception of Wednesday and Thursday. For example, if it is my week, the kids are with me Monday and Tuesday, go to their dad’s house on Wednesday and Thursday, and then are back with me on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. The next week is then in reverse, where the kids spend a majority of the week—except Wednesday and Thursday—with their dad. This schedule allows both of us to see the children throughout the week without going too long in between visits. It helps that

LEFT TO RIGHT:

DR. BRENDA BARFIELD, DR. ANN SLAMA, DR. MARIE MOECKEL, DR. NAINA MAHALE

our children are actively involved in extra-curricular activities throughout the year and so even when it is not my night I often get to see them at games, concerts or special events at school.

The guide’s corresponding website [www.coparentsuc cessfully.com] offers free support tools and resources such as user-friendly templates to track child-related expenses and develop a parenting schedule that works for the entire family [these are the same templates my ex-spouse and I use to co-parent today]. The Co-Parent Successfully web community also offers a way for parents to connect with other parents as they ask questions and share tips and tricks.

Additionally, the website features two bloggers who post content regularly. One of the bloggers is my son Cole who will be turning 17-years-old this summer. He posts content directed to the teenage audience. The second blogger goes by the name Carolyn Victoria Emerson or CVE. She is recently divorced and with each post takes you through the journey of life after divorce with children as if you are sitting across the table from your closest girlfriend.

My vision for the guide and website is to teach and inspire other separated or divorced parents to communicate, provide consistency and work together to give their children continued stability and a close relationship with both parents.

you can do it

In the past nine years my ex-spouse and I have worked our way through the emotional stages of divorce and still to this day work constantly on communication. We have good days and bad days. However, we have experienced firsthand that when you work together as a team, you can provide your children with the support and stability they need to successfully adjust to this new living arrangement. By focusing on what is best for your children, you are forced to work together. This partnership provides your children with the ability to have a close relationship with both parents, and over time, assists in healing your relationship with your ex-spouse as well. Visit www.coparentsuccessfully.com for more information.

safe in the sun

story by | otmom

As you begin taking advantage of long days, extended weekend getaways and outdoor fun this summer, remember the golden rule of summer…Don’t Forget The Sunscreen! But is the stuff you think is protecting you and your family from the sun really doing just that? Two summers ago was the first time we became aware of the EWG’s Annual Sunscreen Guide and we’re glad we did. For the last six years they have been evaluating the effectiveness of sun protection products. In the 2012 guide they took a look at 257 brands and more than 1,800 products for sun protection and then offered a respective ranking. We’re no experts, but we think it’s worth sharing what we learned and hope you consider looking into this more too. Here’s the skinny:

FREE BOOKS FROM UNITED WAY who did it

The Environmental Working Group [EWG] is a non-profit based in Washington, DC and they release an annual report on the safety of sun protection products. Their website states, ‘At EWG, our team of scientists, engineers, policy experts, lawyers and computer programmers pores over government data, legal documents, scientific studies and our own laboratory tests to expose threats to your health and the environment, and to find solutions. Our research brings to light unsettling facts that you have a right to know.’

in a nutshell

In the 2012 guide [released May 15th], they looked at 257 brands and more than 1,800 products for sun protection that included sunscreens and SPF lip balms, moisturizers and makeups. This year the EWG recommends 1 in 4 of more than 800 beach and sport sunscreens, which doesn’t sound great, but it is an improvement from previous years. In 2011 1 in 5 were recommended and the year before it was 1 in 12! Another improvement this year was the number of sunscreens containing retinyl palmitate, a form of vitamin A. FDA and National Toxicology Program research suggests that retinyl palmitate may increase skin cancer risk when used on sun-exposed skin and the EWG has recommended staying away from sunscreens containing this chemical. This year one-forth of this year’s crop of sunscreens contain vitamin A, compared to a third last year. Another interesting fact the EWG found was regarding sunscreens marketed for kids. Sixteen brands [including the likes of Coopertone and Banana Boat] listed exactly the same ingredients [down to the same percentage of active ingredients] in their children products as their other products. Nice marketing gimmick, huh? And another reason to educate yourself.

the quick facts

Check out the 2012 guide for yourself on the EWG website [breakingnews.ewg.org/2012sunscreen/]. You can search your current products and see how they rank. We now use TruKid [it gets the top rating] and we love it! You can pick it up in Fargo at Pout Baby & Kids [www.poutbabyboutique.com]. California Baby [available at Target] has also received high marks. And when you’re on the EWG website, check out their sun safety tips and nine myths of sunscreen. Good stuff!

So, make sure your sun protection products are safe and do what they are suppose to do. Get outside, have some fun and remember…Don’t Forget The RIGHT Sunscreen!

Because of United Way donors, OVER 8,600 LOCAL CHILDREN in our community receive a free book in the mail every month through:

What is Imagination Library?

Imagination Library is a program funded by United Way of Cass-Clay that focuses on preparing children for success in school. Register today and every month, one free book will be mailed to your family’s home thanks to United Way of Cass-Clay.

Who is eligible to register?

Children ages 0-5 who live in Cass or Clay County.

the story of rohan

story by | cinde morris

After a particularly rough day for my son, during which from his point of view, he did nothing right, never got his way and life was totally unfair, he put the icing on the bad day cake by hitting his head on the toilet [don’t ask] and cried so hard he couldn’t speak or breathe for 30 minutes. Well, it was more like 30 seconds, but to a mom, it’s always in slow motion.

I held him in my lap while he cried. I held him while he howled a somewhat rambling diatribe of his day and all the injustices that occurred. I held him while he sniffled and gestured. I held him until the “owie” subsided.

“Mom, will you tell me The Story of Rohan [pronounced Rowan],” he hiccupped. He hadn’t asked for his own personal story in a long time. I used to tell him the story of how special and wanted he was when he was little.

I smiled. “Sure.” I shifted him around so I could look into his blue-grey eyes. They were watery, and his face was sweaty and red from the exertion of crying.

“For a long time I wanted a little boy, but I was too scared to have one, and when we decided to have a baby, it was really hard for Mom and Dad to make one. After awhile I just gave up. But every once in awhile, I dreamt of a beautiful baby boy. He had shiny blond hair, blue eyes and a sweet smile. I loved those dreams, but it would make me kind of sad, because I was too afraid to wish for you.

“You’d come to me more often in my dreams, and one night you said “Mama,” and somehow I knew you were really coming. I went to the doctor and he said you were growing in my tummy. Dad and I were so excited, Buddy. And when you were born, you came out exactly like how I imagined you!”

“You really wished for me?” He sniffled and smiled. I kissed the top of his head. “You.” Kiss. ”Are.” Kiss. “The

He gave me a hug, and just like that, the traumatic events of the day were behind him. As he ran off to play on the computer, I thought for a moment about my dreams, how they’ve changed over the course of my life. I used to dream of being a model or a rock star—when did the dream change to being a mother? And when did I allow myself permission to dream of such a chance?

I am the product of a broken home. I’m a poster child of the abusive, dysfunctional childhood, including a two year stint in the foster care system. So I grew up pretty determined not to continue that DNA line.

Fast forward many years full of typical milestones I’m proud of—putting myself through college, meeting my wonderful husband, building a career, buying our first house…and that little star of light began to poke through my resolve and into my dreams.

And the story of Rohan began. When I was 32, I felt ready. But it wasn’t easy. A miscarriage made me want to give up. But then the doctor said I was pregnant and I knew it was my boy.

During my last trimester in my birthing class, they showed a video on Shaken Baby Syndrome. As I watched it, I grew horrified. Would I just “lose it” like these people in the video? Would I become a monster like my dad had been? Suddenly every slap, punch, every poisonous, hurtful word ever spoken came rushing up from somewhere inside and I thought I was going to be sick.

I lay in bed all night worrying. Is it really hereditary like people say? Why did I ever think I could be entrusted with a human being? I’m so stupid!

Well, obviously I had to get a grip. There was a child coming into the world very soon. But the worry was always in the back of my mind.

When my baby was born, the fog of anxiety dissipated. One look at his face, one smell of his soft skin, and I knew I couldn’t hurt this clean slate. He didn’t know fear, humiliation, starvation, anger, jealousy, suffering—or hate. I was constantly astounded by that realization. But that debilitating fog came back, swirling down around my heart, and I developed post-partum depression. I wasn’t worthy of this miracle. I was convinced I was too broken and I would break him. Ruin him.

No matter how depressed or upset I got, the thought never occurred to me to hurt him. I was too busy trying

to be a good mother, even if I didn’t deserve it. It took time for me to realize I was worthy. That my spirit—my soul—is not defined by what happened to me. It’s what I have made of it and nurtured it to be.

Today my son is 7-years-old. We’ve had our ups and downs like any family. He’s helped me to let the anger of my childhood go and embrace life. To relish the present. I get to live an idyllic childhood vicariously through him and I love every second of it.

When I was a child, I used to yell at God, “Why are you doing this? What is this all for?” And now I know my purpose. I hope to teach people that out of something so ugly in life, you can be the Phoenix and rise from the ashes. You don’t have to be defined by circumstances or other people. You can change things. I broke the chain of violence in my family. And every day I look into my son’s face, I think, “I’d go through it a million times just to have you, my wish come true.”

resource, support, volunteer

Up With Downs Supporting families of Down syndrome. For more information, contact Kara Jones, 701.446.8056 or karaljones@ gmail.com, or Liz St. Louis, 701.212.7877 or estlouis4@gmail.com

Red River Moms Of Multiples 2nd Tuesday of each month. For more information visit www.rrvmothersofmultiples.org

Children's Consulation Network Provides access to early childhood mental health screening, assessment and consultation, develops and distributes children's mental health resources, provides community education, seeks to diminish stigma, and facilitates collaborative efforts related to children's mental health services, especially for children ages 0-8. For more information, 701.526.1565 or www.halfachild.com

Adoption Play Support Group For more details call 701.200.3285 or email shellemoran@yahoo.com

The Compassionate Friends 2nd Thursday of each month, 7:30pm at Faith Lutheran Church, 127 2nd Ave E, West Fargo. Offering grief support after the death of a child. For more information chapterleader@tcffargomoorhead.org or 701.282.4794

La Leche League of Fargo-Moorhead 3rd Thursday of each month at 6:30pm. For more information contact Jill Christianson – jillkensok@hotmail.com or 701.200.0642

Child Asperger Support Group Every Tuesday from 12:00pm to 1:00pm at Southeast Human Service Center. For additional information visit www.rrvasperger.org

SHARE: Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support Group 3rd Tuesday of every month at 7:00pm at Faith United Methodist Church [19th Ave. N, Fargo]. This nondenominational group offers support to those whose lives are touched by the tragic death of a baby through early pregnancy loss, stillbirth or within the first few months of life. For more information call 701.234.7500

Beyond the NICU Doors A community support network for parents who have experienced time in a NICU. Monthly gathering starting in September will be the 4th Tuesday from 7-8:30pm at the Anne Carlson Center located behind Subway on the corner of 13th Ave S and 25th St S in Fargo. Gatherings include a speaker and children are welcome as there are toys and space available. This is open to all NICU families regardless of location of NICU experience. This is a cooperative effort between Region V Experienced Parent and March of dimes NICU Family Support. Any Questions please call Moe Schreoder at 701.237.3558 or Colette Christoffers at 701.235.5530

DMF Lend A Hand Offers resources and matching funds to improve volunteer efforts that benefit people experiencing a medical crisis. Learn more about current efforts and/or to make a tax-deductible donation go to www.dakmed.org/lendahand

Healthy Steps A health insurance program for North Dakota children age 18 or younger who do not have health insurance coverage, do not qualify or are not fully covered by the North Dakota Medicaid Program, and live in qualifying families. The benefits are offered at no or very low cost. For more information 701.356.3134 or www.dakmed.org/childrenhealth

HOPE, Inc. Provides a year-round sports and recreation program for children and young adults ages 2-23 with mobility challenges. We are family-centered and provide extra equipment so the ENTIRE family can play! Contact Adair at 701.866.9002 or adair@hopeinconline. org for more information or visit www.hopeinconline.org

Ronald McDonald House Charities of the Red River Valley, Inc. Provides lodging and emotional support to parents and siblings of children requiring medical treatment who also benefit by knowing their families are close by. Visit www.rmhcfargo.org for more information.

Rape & Abuse Crisis Center Crisis intervention, advocacy, and counseling services to all persons who have been victims of domestic violence or sexual abuse. Volunteer or donate. Call 701.293.7273 or visit www.raccfm.com

Rainbow Bridge Visitation & Safe Exchange Because of dedicated individuals who volunteer their time, Rainbow Bridge is able to meet the ever increasing visitation needs of our families. For more information visit www.rainbowbridgekids.net or call 218.299.7694

FirstChoice Clinic Provides pregnancy confirmation and counseling, prenatal and parenting classes, community referrals

find help, get advice, make a difference

to help individuals make life affirming choices. Call 701.237.5902 or visit www.firstchoiceclinic.com. Volunteer or donate at www.teamfirstchoiceclinic.com

Survivor of Suicide Loss 3rd Thursday of each month. Provide a safe, accepted and supportive environment and opportunity to talk openly. For more information contact Mary at 701.219.4110

Suicide Survivor’s Support Group 4th Monday of each month at 6:00 pm. Support to loved ones who have lost someone to suicide. For more information call 701.293.6462

Birthright Pregnancy testing, counseling, prenatal and parenting education, maternity and infant clothing, emergency supplies of diapers and formula and labor support. All services are free and confidential. To volunteer or donate contact 701.237.0359 or www.birthright.org

PATH of North Dakota An organization offering a more personalized approach to foster care. For more information www. pathinc.org or 701.293.9968

FirstLink Provides telephone support including information and referral of local non-profits, listening and support, crisis intervention and suicide intervention 701.235.7335

South East Regional KIDS Program An Infant Development Service providing home-based family focused services at no cost to families having an eligible infant or toddler under the age of three. 701.446.3927

Experienced Parent Support Group Support and Resource to families who have a child that is active with the South East Regional KIDS Program. For more information please contact Moe Schroeder at 701.237.3558 or mrschroeder@nd.gov

Cullen Children’s Foundation Provide financial resources to organizations that support children’s healthcare needs, with an emphasis on cancer. For information on volunteering, being a part of a committee or to make a donation, visit www.cullyskids.com

Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch Offers a year-round opportunity for volunteers [individuals, groups/part-time, full-time] for its thrift stores. To volunteer call 701.277.9424

United Way of Cass-Clay Our Goal: To make our community a better place to live, work and raise our families. We are driven by this mission because underneath everything we are, underneath everything we do, we are all people, connected, interdependent, united. Our Mission: United Way of Cass-Clay brings people together to create lasting change that will improve lives. For more information visit www.uwcc.net

For more listings, visit www.OnTheMindsOfMoms.com/support. To submit a group or resource for consideration to be posted on our website, email information to info@onthemindsofmoms.com. OTMOM does its best to keep information accurate, but organizations are responsible for providing updated information. It is always a good idea to call ahead to confirm the information provided.

COBBER KIDS

june events

7 Community Play Day

701.499.7788

www.fargoparks.com

Take a Free Play Day at Rheualt Farm [2902 25th St S, Fargo], 9am–11am & 1pm–3pm! Play yard games, do a take home craft, climb on the playground and move to music outside in the sunshine! Daycares are welcome. Adults supervision is required.

7 Safety Safari

701.277.9240

www.redriverzoo.org

Take a walk on the wild side and learn about safety while having fun at the Red River Zoo [4255 23rd Ave S, Fargo]! Be there 3pm-7pm.

7, 14, 21 & 28 Park It!

701.499.7788

www.fargoparks.com

Meet the Xcellent Art teacher at the park & create take home arts & crafts 1pm-4pm. This is a FREE event. June 7th @ Roosevelt Park [1220 9th St N, Fargo], June 14th @ Brunsdale Park [1702 27th Ave N, Fargo], June 21st @ McCormick Park [2101 9th

Ave N, Fargo] & June 28th @ Madison Park [3010 11th Ave N, Fargo].

9

Share a Story

701.499.7788

www.fargoparks.com

Come to Rheualt Farm [2902 25th St S, Fargo], 10:30am–4pm and see Sesame Street's ELMO! Enjoy stories shared through music, dance and performances by community members. Free books, free food and free admission!

9 & 10

Grand Cities Art Fest

701.772.3710

www.novac.org

The Annual Grand Cities Art Fest is once again being held in the downtown areas of Grand Forks & East Grand Forks. Over 150 local, regional and national artists will be displaying their works on Saturday 10am–6pm & Sunday 10am-5pm. Food vendors will also be selling mouthwatering items such as hot fresh-cut fries, pulled pork sandwiches, corn dogs, kettle corn, Italian Ice & cold lemonade. Each day there will be shows on the performance stage in East Grand Forks and Town Square in Grand Forks.

11

Trout Fest

701.499.6060

www.fargoparks.com

Explore Woodhaven Pond [4406 44th Ave S, Fargo] and learn about trout and fly fishing! Registration starts at 5:30pm with the derby following, 6:15pm–7:45pm. Youth will learn about fly fishing, casting, entomology, conservation, equipment demos & much more. An awards presentation will follow the derby. This is a FREE event for ages 15 and under.

11

Fargo Rock Concert

701.499.7788

www.fargoparks.com

Punk, Rock, Metal! All ages welcome! Get your friends and come out to see the areas up and coming musicians Dike West [310 4th St S, Fargo] 7pm–9pm. These shows are FREE and all ages are welcome to attend.

11–14

or 18–21 or 25–28

ECFE: Nursery Rhyme Time

218.284.3400

https://communityed.moorhead.k12.mn.us

Register your kiddos, ages birth to kindergarten entry, for some major fun 9:30am–11:30am at Probstfield [2410 14th St S, Moorhead]. Rhyming is an essential ingredient for reading. Let’s foster that skill by chanting old and new rhymes followed with activities to enhance their learning. New nursery rhymes each week. Cost is $28 for Moorhead School District residents and $32 for all others. Registration is required.

12 & 14

ECFE: Bugs and Butterflies

218.284.3400

https://communityed.moorhead.k12.mn.us

Register your kiddos, ages birth to kindergarten entry, for some major fun 9am-11am at Probstfield [2410 14th St S, Moorhead]. Summer is here and so are the creepy crawlers. Explore and learn about some fun, fascinating creatures. Cost is $14 for Moorhead School District residents and $16 for all others. Registration is required.

events event calendar | june

12 & 19

Community Block Party

701.499.7788

www.fargoparks.com

Meet your neighbors at this fun family event 5:30pm–8pm. Sing your favorite karaoke song, play on inflatable games, take home a craft project and get your face painted. Enjoy free food while supplies last. June 12th @ Village West Park [4415 9th Ave Circle S, Fargo] & June 19th @ Rheualt Farm [2902 25th St S, Fargo].

13, 20 & 27

ECFE: Colors, Shapes & Patterns

218.284.3400

https://communityed.moorhead.k12.mn.us

Register your kiddos, ages birth to kindergarten entry, for some major fun 9am-11am at Probstfield [2410 14th St S, Moorhead]. Take a good look at your environment, learning is everywhere! We’ll examine and experiment with colors, find shapes in our surroundings and create patterns. Cost is $21 for Moorhead School District residents and $24 for all others. Registration is required.

12 & 26

RiverArts

218.299.5340

www.cityofmoorhead.com/parks

Celebrate summer at RiverArts in Memorial Park [210 8th St N, Moorhead] from 5:30pm8:30pm! Bring the whole family for an outdoor concert, horse drawn carriage rides, shopping, farmers market & kid’s activities. FREE admission.

15

Midwest Kid Fest & Teddy Bear Parade

701.499.7788

www.fargoparks.com

Island Park [302 7th St S, Fargo] will be filled with music, laughter & bright colors 11am-7pm as children play & learn. Bring a teddy bear to the Dike West Parking Lot and begin the day with a march in the parade starting at 10:30am. All activities are free!

17

Father's Day at the Zoo!

701.277.9240

www.redriverzoo.org

All Dads receive free admission and they'll introduce some great Zoo dads.

19 & 21

Teddy Bear Picnic

218.284.3400

https://communityed.moorhead.k12.mn.us Register your kiddos, ages birth to kindergarten entry, for some major fun 9am-11am at Probstfield [2410 14th St S, Moorhead]. A teddy bear picnic, a little bear acting and a few bear facts all make for “bearable” fun. Cost is $14 for Moorhead School District residents and $16 for all others. Registration is required.

20

Wild West Jamboree

701.433.5360

www.wfparks.org

Enjoy a Rootin’ Tootin’ good time of activities including music with Silverado, free carriage rides, gunny sack races, barrel car rides, a petting zoo, roping demos, face painting & other western games at Rendezvous Park [1055 32nd Ave W, West Fargo] 5:30pm–7:30pm. Pony rides will be offered for $2. Hotdogs, chips and beverage will be available for $1. Bring your lawn chair or blanket.

20–24

Grand Forks County Fair

218.773.7114

www.grandforksfair.com

A large midway full of fun rides, there will also be 4H exhibits, dog and horse shows, baking contests, pie and ice cream socials, concerts, demolition derby & much more!

25

Movie Night

701.499.6060

www.fargoparks.com

Come to Island Park [302 7th St S, Fargo] at dusk for some fun in the park at the annual Summer Movie Nights! The fun starts when the sun goes down with a movie complete with free Pepsi and popcorn while supplies last.

27 & 28

Summerthing

701.746.2750

www.gfparks.org

Head to University Park [320 N 25th S, Grand Forks] for some fun art projects and activities for kids.

july events

4

Sertoma Fun Fourth & Fireworks

701.746.0052

Enjoy an Independence Day celebration filled with tons of fun events including a kiddie parade, games, prize giveaways, food concessions, live entertainment and an amazing fireworks display over the Red River. The fun starts 11am in downtown Grand Forks.

4

MSUM 4th of July Celebration

218.236.2011

www.mnstate.edu/july4/

Proud to be an American? MSUM's annual celebration at Nemzek Hall [17th St between 6th & 9th Ave S, Moorhead] will not disappoint. Parade, music, food & family fun with fireworks display at dusk.

9, 12, 16, 19, 23, 26 & 30

Town Square Farmers Market

218.779.1382

www.tsfarmersmarket.com

Every Saturday, through September, the Town Square [3rd St & DeMers Ave in Downtown Grand Forks] will be filled with a variety of vendors selling everything

from fresh produce & homebaked goods to handmade jewelry & clothing.

4, 11, 18 & 25

Farmers' Market & Beyond

701.433.5360

www.wfparks.org

Fresh produce, berries, herbs, meats, jellies, flowers, hand-crafted items & agriculture products will be available for purchase

4pm-7pm at the South Elmwood Park parking lot [500 13th Ave W, West Fargo].

10, 17, 24 & 31

Community Block Party

701.499.7788

www.fargoparks.com

Meet your neighbors at this fun family event 5:30pm-8pm. Sing your favorite karaoke song, play on inflatable games, take home a craft project and get your face painted. Enjoy free food while supplies last. July 10th @ Roosevelt Park [1220 9th St N, Fargo], July 17th @ Centennial Park [4101 25th St S, Fargo], July 24th @ Unicorn Park [1603 3rd Ave N, Fargo] & July 31st @ Rabanus Park [4315 18th Ave S, Fargo].

10-15

Red River Valley Fair

800.456.6408

www.redrivervalleyfair.com

It's that time again! Go get some family fun at the fair. For daily events check online.

10 & 31

RiverArts

218.299.5340

www.cityofmoorhead.com/parks

Celebrate summer at RiverArts in Memorial Park [210 8th St N, Moorhead] from 5:30pm8:30pm! Bring the whole family for an outdoor concert, horse drawn carriage rides, shopping, farmers market & kid’s activities. FREE admission.

11 & 18

Family Fun Concert

701.499.7788

www.fargoparks.com

Here’s your chance to bring the whole family out to the park & be entertained with lively music from local bands. There will be arts and crafts, face painting, a bouncy castle and great music. These FREE concerts will be from 7pm-8:30pm July 11th @ Village West Park [4415 9th Ave Circle S, Fargo] & July 18th @ Trollwood Park [3664 Elm St N, Fargo].

12

Community Play Day

701.499.7788

www.fargoparks.com

Take a Free Play Day at Rheualt Farm [2902 25th St S, Fargo], 9am-11am & 1pm-3pm! Play yard games, do a take home craft, climb on the playground and move to music outside in the sunshine! Daycares are welcome. Adults supervision is required.

12-14, 18-21 & 24-28

Legally Blonde the Musical

www.trollwood.org

Come out to Trollwood and enjoy some of our very talented youth take the stage. Sorority star Elle Woods doesn’t take “no” for an answer. So when her boyfriend dumps her for someone “serious,” Elle puts down the credit card, hits the books, and sets out to go where no Delta Nu has gone before; Harvard Law. Along the way, Elle proves that being true to yourself never goes out of style.

12, 19 & 26

Park It!

701.499.7788

www.fargoparks.com

Meet the Xcellent Art teacher at the park & create take home arts & crafts 1pm-4pm.

This is a FREE event. July 12th @ Kennedy Park [4501 42nd St S, Fargo], July 19th @ Clara Barton Park [1451 6th St S, Fargo] & July 26th @ Bennett Park [1900 58th Ave S, Fargo].

14

B.L.A.S.T Babysitter's Day

Camp

701.364.1704

www.fmambulance.com

The initial course for teens and pre-teens on the responsibilities of caring for children. They will learn CPR and first aid for children, as well as diaper changing techniques, also learn about when to call 911 and what will happen if they do need emergency assistance. The course is designed for young babysitters ages 11 – 15. Limited space. Register online.

15

Streets Alive

www.fmstreetsalive.org

Turn off your engines. Turn on your hearts! Join our annual event to spark human movement! Three miles of downtown Fargo and Moorhead streets shut down to motorized traffic so you can walk, run, bike, skate, dance --and eat or meet with healthy vendors.

16, 17 & 19

Waterama

701.499.7788

www.fargoparks.com

Spend an afternoon having fun with water, noon-3pm! Play water games and do all sorts of activities that involve water and getting wet! Play water games, join in contests, and win prizes. There will be a bubble area for children ages 5 and under. July 16th @ Madison Pool [1040 29th St N, Fargo], July 17th @ Island Park Pool [616 1st Ave S, Fargo] & July 19th @ Davies Rec Pool [7150 25th St S, Fargo].

18

Hawaiian Beach Blast

701.433.5360

www.wfparks.org

Dress in Hawaiian attire and enjoy beach party music with the “Front Fenders” at Rendezvous Park [1055 32nd Ave W, West Faro]. Other activities will include carriage rides, barrel car rides, inflatable games, beach volleyball, giant games, face painting, kite flying and other fun activities. Refreshments will be served for a minimal charge and don’t forget to bring a lawn chair and/or blanket

19–21

Fargo Street Fair

www.downtownfargo.com

Check out area artist and crafters in ND's largest FREE event. Booths open at 10am.

23

Movie Night

701.499.6060

www.fargoparks.com

Come to Island Park [302 7th St S, Fargo] at dusk for some fun in the park at the annual Summer Movie Nights! The fun starts when the sun goes down with a movie complete with free Pepsi and popcorn while supplies last.

25

Community Playtown Carnival

701.499.6060

www.fargoparks.com

Rheault Farm [2902 25th St S, Fargo] is transformed into a carnival 2pm-7pm. Many fun activities are planned; carnival type games, clowns, concessions, coloring raffle and more. No admission fee, small charge for games and rides.

28 & 29

Cats Incredible Catfish Days

701.772.7271

www.gochamber.org

In addition to a catfishing tournament that brings in top anglers from all over North America, this Grand Forks event features a chili cook-off, beer garden, food vendors, live entertainment, games, contests and more.

29

German Folk Festival

701.499.7788

www.fargoparks.com

Dance and socialize with an authentic German Band, 11am-5pm at Rheault Farm [2902 25th St S, Fargo]. Additional German American stage performances held throughout the day. Explore German displays, presentations and crafts. Free admission. German American foods available for purchase.

august events

1 & 8 Family Fun Concert

701.499.7788

www.fargoparks.com

Here’s your chance to bring the whole family out to the park & be entertained with lively music from local bands. There will be arts and crafts, face painting, a bouncy castle and great music. These FREE concerts will be from 7pm-8:30pm August 1st @ Brunsdale Park [1702 27th Ave S, Fargo] & August 8th @ Island Park [302 7th St S, Fargo].

2 Car Seat 101 for Expectant Parents

701.234.5570

www.sanfordhealth.org

Are your car seats installed correctly? Don't take the chance! This class is designed for expectant parents and focuses on infant car seats for newborns. Make an appointment be at the Sanford Auditorium [801 Broadway North, Fargo] between 6:30pm-8pm. Space is limited. Pre-registration is necessary.

2, 9 & 16 Park It!

701.499.7788

www.fargoparks.com

Meet the Xcellent Art teacher at the park & create take home arts & crafts 1pm-4pm. This is a FREE event. August 2nd @ Elephant Park [100 19th Ave N, Fargo], August 9th @ Village West Park [4415 9th Ave Cir S, Fargo] & August 16th @ Centennial Park [4101 25th St S, Fargo].

4, 11, 18 & 25

Town Square Farmers Market

218.779.1382

www.tsfarmersmarket.com

Every Saturday, through September, the Town Square [3rd St & DeMers Ave in Downtown Grand Forks] will be filled with a variety of vendors selling everything from fresh produce & homebaked goods to handmade jewelry & clothing.

8-12

East Grand Forks 125 Anniversary

218.773.2483

www.egf.mn

Head across the river for some major fun in East Grand Forks. Parade, fireworks, live music, wagon train, games, contests and an all-school reunion are on the schedule.

9 Music Montage

701.499.7788

www.fargoparks.com

Join in an interactive evening of music outside on the park plaza at Great Northern Park [425 N Broadway, Fargo] 6pm-8pm. An open mic format invites talented local musicians to perform to a crowd of all ages. Get your shot up on the stage or just enjoy the up and coming talent in our community.

9, 6, 9, 13, 16, 20, 23, 27 & 30

Town Square Farmers Market

218.779.1382

www.tsfarmersmarket.com

Every Saturday, through September, the Town Square [3rd St & DeMers Ave in Downtown Grand Forks] will be filled with a variety of vendors selling everything from fresh produce & homebaked goods to handmade jewelry & clothing.

13

Fargo Rock Concert

701.499. 7788

www.fargoparks.com

Punk, Rock, Metal! Two bands! Three different nights! All ages welcome! Get your friends and come out to see the areas up and coming musicians Dike West [310 4th St S, Fargo] 7pm-9pm. These shows are FREE and all ages are welcome to attend.

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13

Movie Night

701.499. 6060

www.fargoparks.com

Come to Island Park [302 7th St S, Fargo] at dusk for some fun in the park at the annual Summer Movie Nights! The fun starts when the sun goes down with a movie complete with free Pepsi and popcorn while supplies last.

14

RiverArts

218.299.5340

www.cityofmoorhead.com/parks

Celebrate summer at RiverArts in Memorial Park [210 8th St N, Moorhead] from 5:30pm8:30pm! Bring the whole family for an outdoor concert, horse drawn carriage rides, shopping, farmers market & kid’s activities. FREE admission.

16

Community Play Day

701.499.7788

www.fargoparks.com

Take a Free Play Day at Rheualt Farm [2902 25th St S, Fargo], 9am-11am & 1pm-3pm! Play yard games, do a take home craft,

climb on the playground and move to music outside in the sunshine! Daycares are welcome. Adult supervision is required.

18-20

Pioneer Days

701.282.2822

www.bonazaville.com

Pioneer Village at Bonanzaville [1351 W Main, West Fargo] comes to life with authentic parades, demonstrations, costumes and crafts.

19

BMX Jam

701.499. 7788

www.fargoparks.com

Bikers, show off your tricks at the BMX Jam at Dike West Skate Park [310 4th St S, Fargo]. All skill levels can participate in the exhibition. Helmets are required. Prizes will be given away.

24 & 25 Potato Days

800.525.4901

www.potatodays.com

Lots of fun for the whole family in Barnesville. Parade, games, contests and don't forget… Mashed Potato Wrestling!

25

Rollin’ on the River

www.rollinonthered-inline.com

Grab your friends & skate the plains. Head to Grand Forks and celebrate our unique strengths, healthy living customs & culture for skating with this two day event featuring an Inline Skating Marathon!

25 & 26 Island Park Show

701.241.8160

www.fargoparks.com

Bring your friends and indulge yourself! Spend a day at Island Park [302 7th St S, Fargo] shopping in the shade! Find unique items, enjoy excellent food and listen to great music from 10am-5pm.

26

Streets Alive

www.fmstreetsalive.org

Turn off your engines. Turn on your hearts! Join our annual event to spark human movement! Three miles of downtown Fargo and Moorhead streets shut down to motorized traffic so you can walk, run, bike, skate, dance and eat or meet with healthy vendors.

All event listings displayed within OTMOM are carefully selected to provide diverse options for families. It is always a good idea to call ahead to confirm the information provided. Although it is not possible to list every event happening in the FM area it is encouraged organizations submit events for consideration to events@onthemindsofmoms.com

Two Rivers Veterinary Hospital in West Fargo, ND is a full service veterinary hospital focused on individualized and preventative care  Dr Tracie and Dr Teri-Lee have combined their 13 years of companion care experience and opened the doors to Two Rivers in the fall of 2011 With diverse interests, Dr Tracie [36] places particular emphasis on the human-animal bond, compassion-geared medicine, dermatology and dentistry  While Dr Teri-Lee [35] brings her experience of caring for a variety of species in the Knoxville, TN Zoological Gardens and focuses on preventative medicine, nutrition, infectious diseases, soft tissue surgery and exotic animal medicine and surgery  Along with their staff of five, they offer medical and surgical services, as well as dentistry, radiography and ultrasonography for dogs, cats and most exotic animals

photos: rialee photography | andrea burner

how did the two of you meet and become business partners?

We met in 2009 when Teri-Lee was hired as an associate veterinarian at the hospital where Tracie had worked since 2003. After several conversations about our children and families we realized that we had a connection and the shared goal of making sure that we were successful in our work while also being available and present for our families.

explain how you came up with the name Two Rivers Veterinary Hospital. This was actually one of our toughest decisions! We wanted a name that “fit” with our geographic region, but that was different than other businesses in the area. We also wanted a name that somehow demonstrated a connection and commitment to nature and the environment. We must have come up with 50 combinations using the words: river, prairie, plains and bluestem, before we finally decided upon Two Rivers!

in addition to the standard veterinary care you provide, what is the most unique service[s] you offer?

Our overall focus is on comprehensive, individualized and preventative patient care. Dr. James has a special interest and additional training in veterinary public health and also offers care for exotic companion animals.

Dr. Hoggarth has a special interest in veterinary dental procedures [including management of the fractured tooth, advanced exodontia, pulp capping, etc.] and has aspirations of offering root canal therapy in the near future.

how do you make sure your partnership stays strong?

Honesty, humor and a little wine! do you each have different responsibilities in the business?

We have a harmonious relationship in that we each

Energy Efficient GREEN Solutions

have different interests and aptitudes for business management. We both have Type-A personalities and are very detailed oriented [bordering on OCD], which can make things challenging, but also invigorating all at the same time. Fortunately, we are both on the same wavelength regarding personal and professional priorities, we practice the same quality and style of medicine and we enjoy each other’s company.

what is the most challenging part of owning your own veterinary clinic?

Balancing the passion of veterinary medicine with the nuances of business management.

how would your clients describe you?

Enthusiastic, comprehensive, detail-oriented, compassionate, communicative and approachable! what quality do you believe every woman needs to have to be successful in business?

Tracie—Being content with where you are in life professionally and personally, meanwhile taking moments to realign your aspirations with developmental changes that occur with growth. Knowing your limitations as a professional and staying grounded with the things that fundamentally mean the most to you.

Teri-Lee—Courage. Other than traveling halfway around the world to meet my daughter for the first time, this is the scariest thing I have ever done! Thankfully for me though the scariest things that I have done have also turned out to be the most rewarding.

why did you decide to go new construction verses opening in an existing space?

We have a hybrid, as we opened within an existing leasehold. This allowed us to design the veterinary hospital with a floor plan we knew would work best for us, our staff and our patients. The design is open, accommodating and very functional. Since the building exterior walls were already in place we were able to quickly and efficiently build the interior to our specifications.

what would you say your least favorite part of running the hospital/business is?

We haven’t found anything that we dislike that much yet.

do you think there are any misconceptions in the veterinary industry?

There is a general misconception that veterinarians

overcharge for our services. Veterinarians inherently have a very modest fee schedule and veterinarians hospitals tend to operate on a very conservative financial platform. The cost of veterinary services has increased over the past couple of decades, not only due to normal inflation, but also the development of new technologies allowing for more sophisticated diagnostics and treatment modalities, the ability to better manage long-term ailments, as well as the escalating price of veterinary education. The majority of veterinarians graduate with debts in excess of $100,000. in one word, describe your clinic? Exceptional!

what is the number one mistake pet owners make?

Not engaging in part of the team approach to their pet’s healthcare and overlooking the importance of at-home routine maintenance care, including everything from dental care to socialization and training. how have you seen veterinarian care change over the years?

The three biggest changes are: 1] the availability of more sophisticated diagnostic equipment and treatment modalities, allowing for increased life expectancy and better prognosis for ill pets; 2] increased public access to a wealth of information [good and bad] regarding pet care and veterinary

medicine; 3] pet parents who consider their pet part of the family and expect more individualized and compassionate care. outside of the hospital, what might we find you doing?

Tracie—Probably mowing the yard of our 11 acre hobby farm in Christine, ND. But my real enjoyment is photography, horseback riding, mountain travel and most any outdoor activities with my husband Ron, daughter Josie [3] and son Beckett [2]. I do try to squeeze in various physical activities like kickboxing, Pilates, hiking and biking when I can.

Teri-Lee—Singing and dancing around the living room or playing outside with my daughter Wren [5]. I also enjoy cooking, reading, music, camping, skiing, snowshoeing, traveling and working on the yard with my husband Evan, and our three mixed-breed canine companions, Clementine, Richard and Penelope.

do you feel like you’ve had to make any parenting sacrifices for being your own bosses?

Tracie—Not for being my own boss, but for being a pro-

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fessional and mother. Ron and I have tried to arrange our schedules to allow for a harmonious work/ life balance. I have managed my “mom-guilt” by having my mom watch our kids when I cannot be there.

Teri-Lee—No, not really! We have made an effort to structure our schedules in a way that allows us some flexibility, so I am finding that I actually have more time to spend with Wren than I did previously. I also have a wonderfully supportive husband who takes care of most of the day-to-day stuff at home, so that we can spend our family time doing something other than chores and errands.

One loves mac and cheese, the other pizza. One’s outgoing, the other’s shy. But when it comes to surviving a really tough start, Jack and Joe Gould travel the same winning path.

Meet the 2012 North Dakota Children’s Miracle Network champions!

Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals supports 170 children’s hospitals throughout North America, including Sanford Children’s Hospital.

trouble at 23 weeks

In October 2005, Sarah and Jeff Gould of Fargo learned the happy news: pregnant with twins! The next month their excitement turned to concern.

An ultrasound revealed Twin-to-Twin Transfusion Syndrome—a rare disorder in which identical twins share connected blood vessels, resulting in dangerously uneven blood flow. Years ago, it meant fetal death.

Thanks to advanced technology, Sarah was able to undergo a laser procedure to disconnect the vessels. Although successful, the procedure increased the risk of premature delivery.

After five weeks’ bed rest at home, Sarah’s water broke. Efforts to delay birth continued at Sanford Family Birth Center. Here the couple learned about the highly specialized care at Sanford Children’s Neonatal Intensive Care Unit [NICU]. Sarah couldn’t preview the unit because of strict bed rest, but the NICU doctors came to her hospital room.

“They were wonderful,” says Sarah. “They described all the different scenarios so we knew what to expect. We had confidence our boys would get the best of care.”

born at 27½ weeks

Born January 11, 2006, each twin weighed between two and three pounds. The NICU had exactly what these tiny warriors needed, including:

• Oscillators–high-frequency ventilators that help premature babies with underdeveloped lungs.

• Giraffe Beds–specially designed warming isolettes so preemies can stay in one comfortable environment for most of their care.

The equipment was purchased with Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals donations. But it wasn’t just equipment that made the difference…

“The NICU staff was incredible,” says Sarah. “They were like our extended family, with each nurse becoming like a second mom.”

toughest time

On February 4th, Jack’s condition took a grave turn. Because of severe kidney failure, he was expected to die within hours. Jeff had one request: hold the babies together.

“It took half the NICU staff, but they made it work - tubes and all,” says Jeff. “Jack and Joe hadn’t been together since birth.”

That’s when something happened that still makes Jeff wonder…

“Jack was so very sick. I remember I was about to give him back to his nurse, when Joey reached over and touched his head,” recalls Jeff. “At the time I didn’t give it much thought—now it’s surreal.”

To the amazement of many, Jack bounced back!

After 90 days, both boys went home. Outpatient care continued at Sanford Children’s, including:

• Physical and occupational therapy for Joe. He enjoyed the fun equipment purchased with Children's Miracle Network dollars.

• Pediatric cardiology for Jack.

kind hearts

Today Jack and Joe are happy, healthy kindergartners who love art projects, books and baseball. They’re best buds, too.

“So kind to each other,” says Sarah.

Props to Jack and Joe—total champions!

And props to Sanford Children’s NICU. Says Jeff, “Without that place, we wouldn’t have our boys.”

champions twin

photo: sanford

studio 60 photography

rialee photography

michelle warren photography

michelle warren photography

michelle warren photography

tiny sprouts portraits

studio 60 photography

studio 60 photography

Anorth Moorhead, MN native and Oak Grove Lutheran School graduate, Joshua Mjoness loves to create things out of metal from yard art to technical assemblies and thinks of himself as a modern day renaissance man Joshua and Jennifer, his wife of nearly 11 years, have three energy-filled boys, Nathaniel [9], Nicholas [6] and Grayson [4] When Joshua isn’t working full-time as a quality control manager for Mid-America Steel in Fargo, he dawns the hat of a Cub Scout leader, tee ball coach and volunteer firefighter In his down time, Joshua enjoys gardening, snowmobiling, metalworking and anything to do with his boys

photos: rialee photography | sabrina kliniske

dad joshuamjoness age37,christinend

rad

the ideal Saturday afternoon for me would be…

working in my garden, playing some ball with the boys and watching them ride 4-wheeler then finishing off the day grilling on the deck and relaxing with a cold beer. around the house i’m the… head chef, maintenance man and referee. With three young boys it seems someone is always hungry, something is always broken and there is always a rule violation to make a call on.

i’m good at…

cooking and listening. Most nights after work and school I do both at the same time. The kids like to sit in the kitchen with us and tell us about their days.

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the most challenging part of being a dad right now is… trying to teach the next generation of men to make moral decisions. With all of the negative messages in mainstream media and the pressure that kids receive today from sources outside of the family it is going to be a real challenge to answer some of the questions my boys have about social situations they see on television and in movies.

i really wish i knew more about…

small engine repair. I enjoy yard work, fishing and snowmobiling, but most of the time when I have a problem with a piece of equipment I have to defer the repairs to someone else. I like to be independent and I wish I could do more of that type of work for myself. It’s probably all stemming from the lessons my dad taught me about trying to be self-reliant.

boys night in our house consists of…

the latest Marvel Comics movie or alien themed feature film, the ridiculously huge boxes of candy from the movie theater and tons of homemade buttered popcorn! It usually ends up with one or two of the boys passed out on the sectional and the TV left on. Our philosophy is to sometimes just let them lay where they drop.

our one family rule is…

R-E-S-P-E-C-T, every member of the household deserves it, whether it’s respect for their privacy, property or opinions. We try to foster an environment that gives each and every person their own space and ability to be themselves without being pressured to be someone they are not.

three words that best describe me as a dad… doting, devoted and protective. my wife Jenn…

is my best friend. She is the hardest working person I know and is definitely the driving force behind our family. I know it’s a cliché, but she is most definitely my rock.

a pet peeve of mine…

the sense of “entitlement” that people seem to have. It bothers me when I see people hold doors open for others and they walk through without saying a word of thanks or even an appreciative nod. We shouldn’t take the kindness of others for granted. if i were a candy bar i’d be…

“Mr. Goodbar” because it’s a classic like Hershey’s and a little nutty.

i’m most humbled by…

my boys when they call me out on my sometimes questionable judgment. Kids have a way of seeing situations a little clearer than adults and it never ceases to amaze me how they can stop me in my tracks and say I was wrong and they were right. something i want my boys to one day experience…

the pride that comes with accomplishing a difficult task. There is no better feeling of self awareness and self worth that comes out of diligence and hard work. the pair of shoes that best define me are… my work shoes, I probably wear them 90% of the time, maybe it goes with the saying “a parents work is never done?” But really it’s probably because they are the most worn in and comfortable pair I have.

a habit i wish i could break…

drinking coffee after dinner, I probably drink a lot more than the average person and it would make it a lot easier to sleep at night.

r-e-s-p-e-c-t, every member of the household deserves it, whether it’s respect for their privacy, property or opinions

body + being

keeping them healthy…

ways we unknowingly sabotage our children’s health

photo: thuen studios | scott thuen

story by | tiffany johnson, DC

As parents we make hundreds of decisions each day that impact our families. Obviously we’re trying to do what’s best, however, when it comes to our children’s health, the numbers don’t lie. There are epidemic levels of obesity, type 2 Diabetes, and even high blood pressure and cholesterol levels among our youngest population. Childhood obesity has quadrupled in the last 40 years and our kids are entering adulthood heavier than at any other time in history, perfectly positioned for a lifetime of disease and ill health.

As a mom and a health professional, that’s got me concerned. Even more concerning, is the fact that we, the parents, are the ones messing up our kids’ health, unknowingly sabotaging them. I’ve made it my goal to help parents understand the health implications of the myriad of choices they’re making for their kids, many of which are done mindlessly without a second thought, and then implement simple, common sense strategies for the benefit of their kids [and the whole family].

Below are three common ways you may be unknowingly sabotaging your children’s health [I’ve been guilty of a few myself] and what to do about it before the kids find out!

#1 too much sugar

Kids are eating too much sugar in all its many forms [sugar, high fructose corn syrup, etc.]. In fact, a newly released report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s National Center for Health Statistics confirms that 16% of the daily calories consumed by children come from sugar. As a chiropractor and doctor of the nervous system I’m particularly concerned about sugar’s impact on health, immunity and the nervous system, and others in the health profession are, too. Perhaps you saw Dr. Sanjay Gupta’s segment on CBS’ “60 Minutes” entitled, “Is Sugar Toxic” which exposed the link between sugar and our nation’s leading killers, including heart disease.

I have witnessed my own children’s mood swings and bouts with colds, coughs, flu and ear infections after a

holiday sugar binge [i.e. Halloween and Valentine’s Day]. And I brace myself for cold and flu season at the office, not because of the colder weather, but because of the high-sugar holiday season, which is what I refer to the time between Halloween and Easter.

to start the day. Many cereals, including whole grain varieties, actually contain more sugar than dessert and very little, if any, protein. This sets our kids up for a blood sugar spike first thing in the morning [and ultimately a crash before lunchtime]. No wonder they have difficulty concentrating in school. Get your kids started for the day with a meal that’s lower in sugar and higher in protein, such as eggs or a berry smoothie made with high quality protein powder.

#2 falling for fat-free

Since about 66% of sugary foods are consumed at home, parents have more control over the amount of sugar their children consume than they might think. We need to rethink our choices for mealtimes, snacks and dessert, as well as what we believe about healthy food options. Let’s look at the typical breakfast for example; between the grains, the added sugars and the milk, cereal for breakfast isn’t a very healthy way

What if I told you that we've been living a big "fat" lie... literally! Sorry to have to be the one to tell you this, but it's true. In the last 30 to 40 years we’ve been led to believe that fat is bad. Low-fat and fat-free products became the trend and while you would think that would make everyone slim and thin, including our kids, it's done the opposite.

Turns out it isn’t the amount of fat we’re consuming that’s making us unhealthy, but rather the kind of fat we’re consuming. Often when eliminating fat, we switch from healthier fats to unhealthier ones [i.e.

turns out it isn’t the amount of fat we’re consuming that’s making us unhealthy, but rather the kind of fat we’re consuming

from butter to margarine or olive oil to canola oil], and mistakenly believe that fat-free packaged foods are healthier options, when they are really full of hidden starches, sugars, fillers, artificial flavorings and more.

Fat is an essential nutrient for health, playing a vital role in nearly every body function, right down to the very makeup of our cells. It’s an especially important nutrient for young children, enhancing their brain and nervous system development. And since fat plays a key role in fueling the body, it’s important for energy, too.

But not all fats are created equal. Remember this general rule: consume only nature made fats, never man made. In other words, if it came from the earth, a tree or a plant, it is good. If it came from wild fish, free range chickens [or other birds] or grass fed animals [cows, goats, bison, etc.] then it is good. If it is in a box or a package and is processed and altered by man, and it says “hydrogenated” then it is “rancid” and will poison your body.

#3 ignoring the nervous system

Many parents neglect the most important part of their

child's health care program; regular spinal checkups. Yes, chiropractic checkups are just as important to your child’s health as dental checkups and medical physicals. When wellness habits are instilled at an early age, you give your child the gift of health for a lifetime.

Misalignments, or subluxations, of the spinal bones interfere with nerve and body function. Parents, you can do everything else right, but if your child’s nervous system is compromised and their body is not functioning properly, they will not heal, develop or perform at their highest potential.

I know many people still associate spine problems with major trauma caused by lifting or an accident of some kind. Yet, the daily activities of kids can easily result in subluxations. In fact, many babies receive their first subluxations during pregnancy and the birthing process. Cesareans, forceps, induced deliveries and other modern medical procedures during birth put stress and strain on the baby causing spinal misalignments. That’s why I recommend that your child receive their first adjustment by a chiropractor within the first hours of life.

And, childhood stress doesn’t stop there. Children are created to be active and energetic; it’s an important part of their development to run, jump and play. However, their play often leads to tumbles and falls. Thankfully their bodies are extremely flexible and resilient, and life’s accidents result in nothing more than a bruise or scrape. However, on the inside, the small bones forming the spinal column [which protects the central nervous system's spinal cord] can be forced out of

alignment. While some misalignments return to the correct position on their own, others won’t. And while some misalignments will make themselves known by a pain response or other symptom such as headaches, allergies, digestive problems, sleep issues, ear infections and recurring colds and flu, many will remain silent and slowly deteriorate your child’s health.

I’ve examined hundreds of adults in my career and many of the health challenges they are visiting our office for today, are consistent with trauma experienced in childhood. Could regular adjustments as a child have made a difference for them? I believe it could have, however, we’ll never know for sure. I do know that when the master of our systems, the nervous system, is turned on, everything else [the body, organs, tissues and nerves] has life. This powerful life force is important in infancy, childhood, adolescence and as an adult.

Our kids didn’t get this unhealthy on their own and they’re not going to be able to get healthier on their own either. Those old excuses like, “It’s the way our parents raised us,” or “It’s the way other parents do it,” can no longer be justified once we know the facts. It’s time for us as parents to get in the know and stop sabotaging our kids’ health.

Have questions or want to learn more about Dr. Tiffany and Healing Touch Chiropractic, visit www.htchiro.com or follow their page on Facebook.

you can do everything else right, but if your child’s nervous system is compromised and their body is not functioning properly, they will not heal, develop or perform at their highest potential

matters money

story by | kathleen wrigley

Technological advances often give us immediate answers and rewards. So where’s the app on this “dumbphone” for teaching kids the value of a dime? I want to ensure that my husband and I are making progress toward finding a better system for coaching our kids on the value of money and “things.”

We share fundamental beliefs about such matters. Money is useful. It’s obviously necessary—but not just for what it can buy. Money is precious and should be used wisely and regarded with careful deliberation. Money is helpful and can aid others—better to give than to receive, right? And as the years speed by, college—and

scott thuen

looming tuition bills—are on the horizon. Children need to hear that money should be saved and reserved for their education and other things of value. Investing in their success is an important tool in teaching them that money matters.

So whoop-dee-doo. The ground-work is covered: Money Matters. Now what? Chores or no chores? Allowance or no allowance? iTouch or no iTouch. It’s endless.

My position—for our family—is no allowance. This is not a hard line for me. I can—almost always—be persuaded. But I don’t believe there’s a lesson in rewarding our kids for everyday household chores, like making their beds, cleaning their rooms or picking up after themselves routinely. Belonging to a family comes

photo: thuen studios |

with a litany of responsibilities to keep things rolling smoothly in a home.

“How’s that going, for ya?” you ask. Well at this moment, the only bed that is “made” is mom and dad’s. The kids’ bathroom is carpeted with damp bath towels, toothpaste drippings cling to the sides of the sink and last night’s pajamas are heaved in a clump behind the door.

Sometimes parents need to look more deeply into their efforts to see results. So I start digging—past the bathroom—to see what—if any—progress we’re making. I know this: there are certain household chores that are fundamental to living in our home; there are ways to make money; money should be spent wisely, used to do good things and invested for the future.

Let’s face it—kids are expensive. And they never stop asking for “things.” They confuse the terms between “want” and “need,” and parents are left wondering if their kids get it. As these tiny marvels grow, so do their taste buds for brand-name items or technological gadgetry—none of which our kids currently own, but that’s another story. Drew and I are regularly reminded of how “deprived” they are and how “mean” we are because they’re the only ones in their class without an iTouch or a cell phone.

Secretly…I rejoice! They have everything they need. And frankly I like for them to feel the pull of an un-met want

Ah…the joys of parenting. Most of us end our days questioning decisions, weighing options and essentially hoping for the best. And every once in a while kids will throw us a bone and we see a glimmer of promise. And excitement abounds at the prospect of our success!

This past basketball season there was an epiphany. The boys on Patrick’s third grade team all wore black crew socks. Not soon after the season started, Patrick asked me to buy him a pair of these new socks. “No problem,” I thought and I jotted this down on my shopping list. I was excited to see him fit-in on the court with his new, hip socks. He thanked me and wore them to the next game, without any further comment.

But as I watched the boys on the court, I noticed something different about Patrick’s socks. All the other players’ socks had a white stripe up the back. Patrick’s

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didn’t. When I asked him about this, he matter-of-factly responded, “Well, mom, their socks are Nike’s. Their moms got them at Scheels…not Target. It’s ok, though. These are fine.”

Disappointed by my lack of knowledge on the latest trend and encouraged by Patrick’s nonchalance, I set out to correct my error. The saleslady directed me to the sock rack. I audibly gasped when I saw the price: $14.99! For one pair of socks. My conscience tapped me on the forehead urging me to JUST DO IT. But my brain scolded, “Lady, you’re crazy if you spend $14.99 on a pair of socks for a child who is still growing.” I told Patrick how much they were, and he agreed they were too expensive. Hmmm...

His attitude and his recognition of the value of these “things” that he “wanted” was refreshing and sweet. This was a glimmer of hope; a milestone of success—for a parent.

Concerned that I would undermine any progress, I decided not to buy the socks. These brand-name socks were a “want” not a “need.” He played each game with

gusto—in those off-brand socks. Then towards the end of the season, the Easter Bunny—generous, fashionable rodent that he is— left a special treat in Patrick’s Easter basket: two pair of these trendy socks. The look on this child’s face when he saw his socks was priceless.

Now if I can only get him to take the socks off long enough to launder them. What’s the saying, Cleanliness is next to Godliness? That’s a lesson for another day.

For now I’ll hold on tightly to this story and review it every time I hear the kids plead their need of the latest fashion-statement or technological gadget. Money does matter. But it doesn’t provide shortcuts to life’s lessons.

Kathleen is a stay-at-home mom who serves on a number of community boards/committees, is active in her church, kids’ school, and politics and runs to sustain her own mental health! This Philadelphia native is married to a fourth generation North Dakotan, Drew, and proudly considers North Dakota her home. They have three children.

Before becoming a mom, she was director for Bismarck’s Child Advocacy Center and was a speech writer. Kathleen received a BS from The Pennsylvania State University and completed her graduate studies at Temple University, in Philadelphia.

photo: thuen studios | scott thuen

grilled turkey & sunflower seed burgers

[with Pepper Jack Cheese, Poblano Pickle Salsa & Avocado Mayo]

Summer grilling season is upon us and you just can’t go wrong with the idea of fewer dirty dishes, less mess in the kitchen and healthier options that dazzle the taste buds. For Mezzaluna Chef, Sara Watson, planning meals around the outdoor grill is a season favorite for her whole family. When it comes to burgers, the Grilled Turkey & Sunflower Seed Burger has a proven track record of offering a surprising crunch along with extra flavor every burger lover will savor.

makes: 4 burgers

poblano pickle salsa

• 2 poblano or green chile peppers, grilled, peeled, seeded and finely chopped

• 2 medium dill pickles, finely chopped

• 1 small red onion, finely chopped

• ¼ cup fresh lime juice

• 1 tsp honey

• ¼ tsp salt

• 2 tbsp finely chopped fresh cilantro leaves

• ¼ tsp fresh ground pepper

Combine all ingredients, cover and let sit for at least 30 minutes before serving.

avocado mayo

• ½ ripe avocado, peeled & chopped

• ¼ cup mayo

• 1 tbsp fresh lime juice

• 2 clove garlic, chopped

• ½ tsp ground cumin

• ¼ tsp kosher salt

• ¼ tsp fresh ground pepper

Place all ingredients in a food processor [or blender] and mix until smooth.

turkey & sunflower seed burgers

• 1 ½ pounds ground turkey, 99% lean

• 2 tbsp canola oil

• 2 tbsp sunflower seeds

• ½ tsp kosher salt

• ½ tsp fresh ground pepper

• 4 slices pepper jack cheese

the how to:

1. Heat your grill to high.

2. Mix the sunflower seeds with the ground turkey.

3. Shape into 4 round patties about 1 ½ inches thick.

4. Brush each burger on both sides with the oil and season with salt and pepper.

5. Grill until slightly charred on both sides and cooked completely through, about 4 minutes per side.

6. Place a slice of cheese on each burger, close the lid of the grill and let the cheese melt.

7. Transfer to a cutting board and let rest for 5 minutes.

8. Finish and top each burger with 1 tbsp avocado mayo and poblano pickle salsa. Serve the rest on the side if desired.

simple devotion ruel johnson

story by | patricia carlson

He hears it before he sees it. The soft compression of an air tube. The steady beep, beep, beep of a monitor. The deep hum of countless bedside machines. It’s a familiar, yet eery, sound. He makes the turn into the doorway of her room, goes to her side, bends down, kisses her forehead, and pushes her now overgrown hair out of her eyes. He then lifts his wife’s head off her pillow - fluffs and adjusts it, before softly replacing her head. Next, he gathers her arms and rings them around his neck. It’s the only ‘hug’ he’ll get from her anytime soon. Holding her elbows, he gently raises her upper body and repositions it to a sitting position. Finally, he works his way down her legs to her feet, giving them a stretch and a rub. Then he prays.

photos: rialee photography | ria czichotzki

Ruel and Jodell were engaged on New Year’s Eve 1996 and were married in 1997 during the April flood. Anyone and everyone who had seen the couple during their dating days, knew their love was something special.

“We were at my grandparents’ farm, walking and talking,” recalls Ruel’s sister, Twila Mursu. “He mentioned that he had met someone and he wanted me to meet her. He

known him. Because of that, he and Jodell were always able to work through everything. Their marriage was A+.”

In 2005, Ellika, the first of the couple’s two daughters, was born. Two years later, Annika followed. It was a dream come true for Jodell and Ruel.

“You could see he was a natural at being a father,” says Twila. “He was so hands-on with the girls. He never once referred to taking care of his girls as ‘babysitting,’ which is a big pet peeve of mine.”

Jodell loved being a mom. You could see it in pictures—her bright blue eyes would dance as she smiled lovingly at her girls. It is that exact image that Ruel captured on Labor Day weekend in 2010 during a trip to the Twin Cities. As Jodell frolicked with Ellika and Annika at Como Park Zoo and Teddy Bear Park, Ruel snapped away. They are the last pictures he ever took of Jodell hugging her daughters.

that morning

It happened around 8:30 Labor Day morning while the girls were still asleep in their hotel room. First, Jodell started to feel funny. She couldn’t explain it, but something felt off. Then, her speech started to slur. Finally, a searing pain erupted behind her right ear.

had been more quiet and reserved about the other girls he had dated. But you could tell there was something different with Jodell.”

Ruel, at the time a youth pastor, and Jodell, a teacher with Fargo Public Schools, were both faith-based people and a perfect fit. Both were exceedingly polite, incredibly loyal and wonderfully generous. The differences in their personalities also complemented one another. While Jodell had boundless energy and spirit, Ruel was steady, committed and persistent in all the right ways, says his sister. “Once he made a decision, he would stick with it,” she explains, adding, “I think now a lot of people in society are convenience driven, like, ‘If it works for me then I’ll do it.’ But not Ruel. He’s always been dedicated.”

Ruel’s ability to keep calm under pressure impressed Jodell's family from the start of their relationship. “Ruel’s demeanor always surprises people,” Jodell’s brother, Joel Anderson, says. “He just seems so calm, cool and collected in situations where most of us would be bouncing off the walls. He’s been that way since I’ve

“Her body was weakening right before my eyes,” remembers Ruel. “She knows sign language and she was trying to sign ‘yes’ or ‘no’ when I’d ask her questions. But she was getting really frantic.”

Ruel called 911 and within minutes he was speeding behind the ambulance with his girls in the backseat. “I had to have been doing 100 miles-per-hour on Interstate 35,” he says. Time was of the essence as Ruel would later find out that Jodell had stopped breathing en route to the hospital.

Tests later that morning confirmed the worst. Jodell had a massive brain bleed that resulted in a stroke near her brain stem. Doctors couldn’t operate on the bleed because of its size and location.

In the meantime, Ruel continued to call his and Jodell’s families. Just as he had done as a young man, Ruel maintained his composure, speaking in a quiet, reassuring voice as he told Jodell’s brother and his sister the news and updates.

Joel was shocked. “I said, ‘A stroke? What do you mean a stroke? She’s 40-years-old. She’s in great health. How

down. I tried to put it in terms they could grasp and not use doctor’s language.”

But there was no denying the severity of Jodell’s situation. The stroke had destroyed her ability to breathe, swallow and control her movements. She was on a ventilator and getting nutrients through a feeding tube. In essence, she was a prisoner in her own body.

“At one point she opened her eyes and they were big, like what’s going on,” recalls Ruel. “I tried to be real deliberate and calm. For her and for my girls. I tried to just keep things as simple as possible.”

Ruel, Ellika and Annika finally broke down. “My girls... they were so resilient, such good troopers. Until we left to come home and that’s when it kind of hit them,” he says, choking up. “That things are different now.”

Instead of pitying himself, as many of us might have done in his situation, Ruel threw himself into advocating for Jodell. He read charts. Learned to speak with doctors on their level. Researched drug trials and up-and-coming treatments. And he spent hours, days, weeks trying to find a way to communicate with Jodell since she could no longer speak on her own behalf.

simple devotion

The only body part that Jodell can move is her eyes but they don’t move fluidly like yours or mine. Her eyelids blink rapidly at times and her pupils move wildly. But somewhere along the way—in the hours, days, weeks that Ruel spent by her side telling her stories about the girls, reading her mail and talking to her about what medical procedure was coming up next—he learned a way to communicate with his wife.

“We came up with a system of asking yes or no questions,” he explains. “She’ll move her eyes up for yes and down for no. But I have to ask the same question over and over again, in different ways, to make sure I’m understanding correctly. I have to be deliberate and think really hard about how I’m asking.”

The system seems to be working. And it has helped Ruel better communicate with Jodell’s team of caregivers. The process is never going to be easy—there will always be mounds of paperwork, confusing insurance practices and troubling infections—but getting a glimpse into what his wife is thinking has eased some of Ruel’s frustration.

And through it all Ruel is confident he has Jodell’s best interest at heart and is following her wishes based on hours of conversations they had as a young couple. Early in their marriage, Ruel’s mother passed away from congestive heart failure and his father from ALS [Lou Gehrig Disease]. The couple also helped take care of Jodell’s mother for nearly 17 months as she battled an inoperable, malignant brain tumor. Ruel observed his wife; watching and listening to how Jodell cared for her mom. Late at night, when Jodell needed a shoulder to cry on, Ruel was there. Together, and not knowing how significant their conversations would be, they discussed what life would be like if one of them ever became ill. They didn’t get into specifics, the horrible situation they were already in was real enough. But a seed was planted.

“Jodell’s care is very complex because she has many co-morbidities,” explains Annette Nygaard, Nursing Unit Manager at Elim. “She is immunosuppressed, in addition to having IV antibiotics, tracheostomy, tube feedings and other health issues that require specialized equipment and care. All decisions about her care and any changes are always discussed with her husband. Communication is really key.”

Ruel’s limitless devotion for his wife is apparent to everyone he meets, no matter how long they’ve known him. Jeana Peinovich, who first met Ruel many years ago at a leadership event and then was re-introduced to him about a year ago through her role as Lend A Hand Program Director at Dakota Medical Foundation, says she has never once heard Ruel lament his situation. “Since Jodell’s stroke, life has presented him with so many challenges, yet he maintains a calm and loving attitude at all times,” says Jeana. “You can see and feel his sadness, yet I never hear him complain or place blame. He just deals with what he can, situation by situation. After spending time with Ruel, it is a reality check for me and I am sure everyone he comes in contact with. He really makes you aware of your blessings and he makes you want to be a better person.”

The worst part of Jodell’s illness is that when she isn’t fighting off the countless fevers and infections that crop up, she IS indeed aware of her surroundings. Jodell feels pain and discomfort, just like you and me. She cries real tears, but can’t wipe them away. She feels the tickle of a strand of loose hair on her face, but can’t brush it aside. She experiences soreness and muscle cramps, but can’t tell you how bad—or where—it hurts. “It’s the smallest of things that can create the biggest annoyance, although you or I may not realize it,” says Ruel. “Like if a fly lands on her cheek. She has no choice. Can you imagine feeling that tickling crawling on your skin, hearing that constant buzzing? She physically can’t remove it. She is dependent completely on whoever is with her. And the hard part is that she was never, ever dependent before. She was always the one willing to carry the load for others.”

unmatched kindness

Family time has taken on a whole new meaning since Jodell’s stroke. Ruel, Ellika and Annika spend so much time at Elim it’s like their second home and Jodell’s caregivers couldn’t be happier to spend time with the girls.

“The girls have found friends among the staff, access to great toys in the Elim Children’s Center, time to play with the two Elim “resident” black lab dogs and to admire the birds and fish, while Ruel spends time with Jodell,” says Joyce Eisenbraun, Director of Marketing at Elim. “With Jodell’s special condition and her very young family, the staff goes above and beyond to show their support and concern.”

Jodell’s friends, former co-workers, and the community at large have been equally as generous with their time and funds to help the Johnson’s. “It’s been overwhelming,” says Ruel of the benefits held for his family, the dinners delivered and the offers to pitch in with Ellika and Annika. “Our family has always had a strong faith and it seems like when we’re not expecting it, but we really need it, people have come through to help us. I’m so grateful.”

coordinated a fundraising effort through the use of their online giving site.” Due to the generosity of local families and businesses, the family was awarded the full match.

To this day, Deb and other Jefferson employees continue to find ways to help Ruel, Ellika and Annika such as donating gift cards to the Johnson’s for gas or groceries. And Deb, who believes she is meant to be a “grandmother figure” to the girls, takes them to the movies on occasion. “As time goes by, it’s a natural tendency for people to forget their situation,” she says. “But I want to make it as normal as I can for these girls.”

In true Ruel fashion though, he still found a way to give back to the organization that had given his family so much. Ruel and his daughters were featured in a year-end giving advertisement for Lend A Hand. The girls also attended the year-end Lend A Hand Thanks for Giving Event with their dad. “Ruel had transformed the girls into princesses wearing pretty dresses, sparkly shoes, and fancy hair accessories,” remembers Jeana. “A dad who can ‘do hair’ is definitely a rad dad!”

Deb Wimmer, who worked with Jodell at Jefferson Elementary School in Fargo, says “Ruel is a saint in my eyes. Knowing the cost of what it takes to care for Jodell and his girls alone, how can any one person handle that? They can’t. We wanted to find a way to help Ruel and his family monetarily.”

At the request of Deb and fellow teacher, Deb Ertelt, Lend A Hand partnered with Fargo Public Schools last year for a fundraising project. What started as a small fundraising idea where teachers, students and administrators at Jefferson could wear jeans to support Jodell, soon had turned into a district-wide effort. There would be ‘Jeans for Jodell’ Fridays in every Fargo Public School for an entire month.

“We put Jodell’s story on a district-wide message board. That’s the first time that’s ever been done,” states Deb. “Ruel is the ultimate inspiration of what a husband and father should be so the fact that he got this huge, cheering support from the community shows what a caring person he is.”

“The teachers’ application for support was approved for up to $5,000 of matching funds,” explains Jeana.

“Lend A Hand also offered marketing assistance and

Even for Jeana, who sees and hears many sad stories in her job, there is something incredibly overwhelming about Ruel’s position in life. “I can’t tell you how choked up I get talking about this family,” she says. “Their situation is just too heartbreaking for me to comprehend sometimes.”

vow of commitment

Throughout this ordeal Ruel admits he has cared for everyone but himself. “I used to run and I probably watch more HULU than I should. I used to read a lot. I Google medical jargon now. You cheat yourself. But that’s the easiest thing to cheat. My girls and Jodell have been cheated enough,” he states.

His selfless efforts have not gone unnoticed and he is an inspiration to those he meets. “The last time it was Ellika’s turn to bring snacks for the class, he made blueberry muffins for everyone,” recalls Deb Leedahl, Ellika’s Kindergarten teacher at Park Christian School.

“Before that, I commented that it sure would be fun to take a picture of the whole class eating a banana, and he stopped at Target on his way to school and bought bananas for all of us! He is absolutely amazing!”

One can only imagine how overwhelmed Ruel must feel on a daily basis. He is raising two little girls without the help of his wife. He is trying to manage a career

there is something about ruel—or perhaps within ruel—that pushes him on even those who know him best say they can’t define what drives him

and a household, while overseeing Jodell’s extensive medical care needs. There have been many set-backs and disappointments involving Jodell’s care and progress. Doctors don’t know what caused her stroke and they doubt she’ll ever get any better.

Some days, it’s even too much for Jodell’s caregivers to handle. “Perhaps the most challenging thing is that the staff at Elim has come to know and love Jodell and her family,” says Amy Koller, Director of Social Services. “There are so many staff people that are similar in age, with similar age children, that they can really relate. When she isn’t doing well, they feel the impact as well. It just breaks your heart to see her, especially with her daughters.

But there is something about Ruel—or perhaps within Ruel—that pushes him on. Even those who know him best say they can’t define what drives him.

“He’s such a humble guy, he would never put praise on himself,” says his sister, Twila. “I don’t know sometimes, in the last year and a half, how he has maintained a positive attitude. If I put myself in that position, how would I have handled and done things?”

For Ruel, the answer is simple. He knows his wife wants to fight. He remembers how she cared for her mother. And he remembers how the two of them, as only a husband and wife will do late at night when the kids are in bed and the lights are down, discussed life and death.

“She’s a fighter,” he says. “I don’t pretend to know everything. I’m not as strong as she is. I couldn’t endure what she’s put up with. But you talk about advocacy? I feel a tremendous responsibility. It’s my duty. It’s my vows. For better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health. I’m committed to making her heard.”

That’s why, every day, you’ll find him standing beside Jodell’s bed, brushing the hair out of her face, giving her a kiss and starting his routine as machines hum their chorus.

To continue following Ruel, Ellika, Annika and Jodell, please visit www.caringbridge.org/visit/jodelljohnson. And if you are interested in making a financial contribution for the ongoing care of Jodell, the Jodell Johnson Medical Expenses Fund has been established at Bremer Bank.

photo: unseen ministries

ready set grow

you did

what!?!?

story by | sheri kleinsasser stockmoe

Have you ever had one of those days [maybe weeks] where you just had to scratch your head?

It doesn’t make sense, you didn’t plan for it and you sure as heck never asked for it! But there it is staring you right in the face, taunting you, “come on, mamma…are you woman enough to handle this?” Oh, yeah you can handle it, but that doesn’t mean you don’t want to still scream at the top of your lungs, “You did what!?”

wee ones

Your little Indiana Jones exploring wee one is ready for adventure and you do your best to clean, sanitize and protect. A shriek of terror is the only reasonable response when junior comes around the corner looking like he just devoured a Hersey bar, but you know…that’s not chocolate!!!

that aint food

Once our wee ones are able to coordinate grabbing objects, they immediately make their way to his mouth. This is completely normal as he is simply exploring and learning. His mouth has many more nerve endings per

square millimeter than any other part of his body. And he can control his mouth and lips much sooner than the fine motor skills needed for indepth evaluation of objects with his hands. With his mouth he can learn such things such as the texture, taste, shape and temperature of objects.

So, since it’s inevitable he is going to put things in his mouth, it’s your first responsibility to make sure your home is as safe as possible and you evaluate any and all choking and dangerous items. Older sibling toys with small parts aren’t left around unattended. Cleaning products and medications are behind locked doors or up, out of reach. Pet dishes can’t be explored. But as diligent as you are to create a safe place, something unsavory, that should not…repeat…should not ever, ever make its way to the food hole will…like #2! sure it stinks, but…

If your wee one does a little taste test on his own diaper surprise [excuse me I just threw-up a little in my mouth], remember:

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• relax As gross as it is, the odds are in your wee one’s favor that he will grow up without any ill effects from his poop escapades. So don’t get crazy. Start by getting him cleaned up with soap and water and do your best to rinse out his mouth. Then you want to try to prevent such activity from happening again. Make sure his diaper fits correctly and if he likes to weasel his way out of his diaper at nap time or during the night, consider slapping on a onesie and see if the little Houdini can get out of that one.

• hello doc Again, your wee one shouldn’t have any problems, but it is poop! If he develops a fever, stomach pain or diarrhea in the days or weeks to follow, call your physician. Lastly, any time your child eats something they shouldn’t, don’t hesitate to contact poison control [800.222.1222] for their guidance.

water makes up about 75 percent of your bowel movements

Your cute little tot is becoming so self sufficient. He can express what he wants and what he doesn’t want or like. Of course the “what he doesn’t want or like” expression isn’t always expressed constructively. If you have ever taken a swift backhand from your tot you know he can pack a wallup! Behavior issue or next budding Muhammad Ali?

jab, cross, uppercut

A tot that likes to hit can be very frustrating, but it isn’t uncommon. Our tots are still mastering the art of communication and using his hands to throw, push and hit allow him to express what he can’t do verbally. So normal, yes, but that doesn’t mean it is a behavior that you can just ignore. Here are some tips to help curb your tot’s desire to hit:

• buck stops here Take action right way when the hitting happens. Ignoring it can signal it’s OK to hit.

• no eye for an eye If hitting is what you are trying to stop, then why would you spank? Spanking says it’s OK to resolve a situation using your hands. Stay away from it.

• is this what you mean There are times your tot will be simply trying to get your attention. Tell him “we don’t hit” and show him how to ask for help or what it is he wants. If he is hitting out of anger or frustration, give him the words to express those feelings.

• now, not then Pay close attention to when your tot hits. Are there any triggers? Is he tired or hungry? Is he in a large group or not? Finding the situations that prompt him to hit can allow you to address the behavior more effectively.

• outa here When he does hit, remove him from the situation right away. Tell him, “No hitting. Hitting hurts.”

Be patient. Getting your tot to stop hitting won’t happen overnight, but remain consistent. And lastly, make sure you are a good model of appropriate behavior. It can be very frustrating and embarrassing when your tot hits another child, adult or you. Remain calm and address the situation in a firm manner.

1 in 5 children will bite and around half will hit at some point in their tot years

Isn’t your preschooler so smart? ABCs, animal sounds and days of the week are no match for your brainiac. And he is such an investigator, learning all the time. And many of life’s puzzling questions turn into real life experiments like “I wonder if this pea would fit in my nose?”

yep, it fits

As funny as some situations can be, lodged items in your preschooler’s nose or ear are a serious problem. Infections and long-term damage can occur. You want

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to address the situation right away, but you also don’t want to make things worse. Here are some first aid tips for when items make their way into small preschooler orifices they have no business being in:

• really First, remain calm. Like every other situation you can think of, if you freak out, your preschooler is going to follow right along. Keep it under control.

• get it If you can see the object and your preschooler is calm enough to sit still, you can try to remove it. Do not use a sharp object or cotton swab. You don’t want to push the object further in the ear or nose or cause more damage. For items in the ear, have your preschooler tilt his head to the side the object is on and while gently pulling his ear up and out, have him shake his head [again, gently]. Gravity may be enough to get the object out. For items in the nose, you can start with trying to blow it out while applying pressure to the unaffected nostril. For both the ear and nose, if the object is close to the surface and easily seen, you can try to get it with a blunt tweezer. But again, be extremely careful so you do not push it in further.

• you’re never going to believe it doc Vegetables, popcorn kernels, marbles, toys, candy…your doc has probably heard it all. If you aren’t able to remove the object or there are signs of other damage [bleeding, foul odor, hearing loss, tenderness] head to your trusted physician for extraction.

did you know your nose and ears continue growing throughout your entire life?

than

school hours are lost each year due to dental-related issues

Big kids are going to run. They’re going to jump. And they are going to crash and burn! Cross your fingers they quickly learn the life saving technique called the tuck-n-roll before becoming the spitting image of a all-star hockey player sporting a toothless grin!

tooth for tat

As the mama, we are the booboo fixer. Someone gets hurt? You find [da-da-ta-da] The Mom! Now, I don’t know about you, but I can handle pretty much any low level 911 event my kiddos can throw at me, but tooth injuries freak me out. Have you ever chipped a tooth and felt the searing pain of cold air hitting it? Makes me clinch my jaw just thinking about it! So, what do you do when one of those pearly whites is in trouble? Never fear The Mom is here:

• just a ding If your big kid chips a tooth and it isn’t really bothering him, you don’t need to rush to the dentist. Fixing a chip typically requires a simple cosmetic procedure. If there is pain, give your dentist a call.

• crack-boom-bah Now if your big kid cracks or busts off a tooth, time for a little tooth professional time. While there are times a cracked tooth isn’t obviously seen, it can sure be felt. Pain while chewing and sensitivity to temperature can be symptoms of a crack.

• outta here Knocking out a permanent tooth requires some quick action. Start with taking care of the missing tooth. Do NOT touch the root if possible and gently rinse it off with saline solution or milk [tap water can be used as a last resort]. Next you want to reimplant the tooth back in the socket ASAP if possible. More and more cells on the roots of the

tooth die with each minute it isn’t reimplanted. So, get it back in place and have your big kid bite down on a gauze pad to keep it in the socket and head to the dentist. Can’t replant the tooth or worried your big kid will swallow it? Put the tooth in a glass of milk and make way your way to the tooth doc!

more

51 million

a study on cheating at MIT concluded that copying homework can lead to lower grades

tweeners

Sure you have expectations for your tweener. Do well in school. Be kind and respectful. If you’re going to cheat, don’t get caught…wait, not so much? Good, that is the correct answer.

to cheat or not to cheat

If you ask your tweener if cheating is wrong, he’ll say yes. But what if “everyone” is doing it? Technology has made it extremely easy for “everyone” to cheat. Sure old

school cheating is alive and well, but technology can sometimes be its own worst enemy. Cell phones can take pictures of tests and then be emailed to a friend. The internet provides an opportunity to plagiarize on virtually every topic imaginable. So, does your child really know what cheating is? Talking to your tweener about cheating is important:

• aint yours If it isn’t your answer, your words or your thoughts…it isn’t yours! Cheating can seem like a victimless crimes, because he isn’t hurting anyone, well except your tweener! Cheating himself is a crime.

• do as I do Cheating doesn’t just happen in the classroom and it isn’t just our tweeners we need to worry about. Make sure you are modeling appropriate behavior. No lying, stealing or cheating for you too, mama!

• not just help Letting a friend copy his answers on a worksheet isn’t helping. It’s cheating. Make it clear that he needs to do the work and so do his friends.

• a is for effort Yes, we want our kids to be motivated and ambitious, but not at the expense of being honest and trustworthy. Pressure to get high grades can prove to be too much for your tweener. Emphasize the importance of doing his best rather than just focusing on the end grade.

• do the crime If your tweener is caught cheating, don’t try to justify his actions. You want to teach him to not lie, but to be honest and accountable… even if everyone else is doing it!

on average, a person will be involved in 3 wrecks by the age of 20

Sure you’ve talked about the responsibility of being behind the wheel. Don’t speed! Look both ways! Yield to the right! No stinkin’ cell phone! But are you sure you have covered all your driving bases? God forbid they ever get in an accident, but do they know what to do then?

smash…now what

No one wants to think about their teen being in an accident, but better to be prepared to handle such a situation than to be a hysterical mess, babbling incoherently to mama on the phone, right? Here is some basic info to share with your driving teen:

• breath in, breath out Rule #1 in most ever situation… remain calm. Freaking out won’t help the accident go away. If possible, move your vehicle to the side of the road and turn the hazard lights on.

• please don’t go Make it very clear to your teen that you DO NOT leave the scene of an accident! Things need to be resolved with the other driver and/or police. Leaving the scene of an accident is considered a hit and run and can only make a bad situation worse. Now if the accident is a mere fender bender and the other vehicle is unattended, say in a parking lot, instruct your teen that the right thing to do is to write a note including his name and number, place it on the car’s windshield and take some pictures of the damage. If your teen is in an accident where the other driver tries to leave, instruct him to do his best to get a description of the vehicle as well as the license plate number.

• you ok If your teen is hurt or anyone else in the vehicle is hurt, stay put. If someone is injured they should only be moved by medical personnel unless staying in the vehicle could create further injury. And call 911!

• hello officer Calling the police is the next responsible move for your teen after an accident. They can help with any injuries as well as the accident itself.

• he said she said Don’t discuss who’s fault the accident is with the other driver. Let the police handle this and write up an accident report.

• nice to meet you It’s always a good idea to exchange names and phone numbers with the other driver as well as any witnesses to the accident. Also consider taking pictures of the damage.

Stress the importance of always having his license with him as well as the current registration and proof of insurance in the vehicle. And the hardest part of being in an accident for your teen? Probably calling you! But mama’s gotta know! Let him know that after the police, you’re his next call.

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Who is Sally?

She is our quintessential, “do-it-all” mom and friend who reminds us to remember the woman behind the mom.

summer surviving

story by | deb uglem

Acouple of years ago I had a “back-to-school” brunch. I invited my friends; we ate pastries and sipped our mimosa as we talked about the excitement of the upcoming school year. Our conversation wasn’t centered on our children’s education or school activities it was about us moms. Our houses would be clean, we would take up a hobby and we would meet for lunch, the possibilities were endless. School had started and we had nothing but time. Fast-forward nine months and the same group of ladies meet for a “last-day-of-school” lunch. Our conversation switched to how to handle the summer schedule, what camps the kids would be attending and how we were going to keep our kitchens clean. Oh what a difference a school year makes!

When I was in school I couldn’t hide my excitement, as the year would come to a close. My brother and I would stand in the kitchen and high five each other until our hands hurt while yelling, “Schools out, schools out!” We would do this little dance every morning. My mom would always roll her eyes and then leave the room. Then, I thought I could hear a giggle as she left. Now, I know it was more of a nervous laugh of how she was going to handle the next three months.

Time can play tricks on your perspective. Today when I think about the upcoming summer season the words of 80’s rock band, The Cars come to mind…“Summer, it turns me upside down…summer, summer, summer… it’s like a merry-go-round.” I am sure most moms are singing the same tune. As the school days wind down, mom’s to-do lists ramp up. The age of your children doesn’t matter. The summer brings a new schedule for all. Mornings are earlier, nights get later, refrigerators are empty and there is not a clean towel in sight.

As a young mother I took this season very seriously. I had a calendar with camp lists, carpool schedules and family social events all neatly labeled and colorcoded for each child no less. I was totally on top of the summertime game. I knew what my kids were doing every minute. I mean I was verging on that “attachment parenting” thing [not really but I guess the closest I would ever get to that parenting style]. I think I spent most of that summer in my car watching TV sitcoms on my iPod waiting for one or more of my four children to finish an activity.

I want my excitement for summer back! I have toned down the schedules, ramped up the mom time and I am truly working on not being bothered by those dirty

dishes and messy counters. I am not for abandoning schedules or letting the kids run wild but, I am however suggesting you give some thought to your summertime survival and fine-tune your home, schedule and sanity and find the joy in the summer season.

Take a look at your planner and see how booked your children really are. Is there a week, day or even hour that isn’t accounted for? What would happen if you dropped one of those activities? Imagine what your child could do or possibly create with a small amount of free time. They may even like to spend it with you!

My secret to summertime sanity—buy in bulk. Give that Sam’s card a workout and stock up on paper plates, napkins, fresh fruit and easy snacks. Try to eliminate the dreaded question, “I am hungry, what can I eat?” Strip down your meal planning for breakfast, lunch and dinner and save the gourmet meals for those cold winter nights. Get crazy and teach your kids the fine art of making lunch and cleaning the kitchen. Even little ones will enjoy the satisfaction of making their own PB&J. It teaches responsibility and gives you a little free time.

When our children are home it is easy to get caught up in their schedule, friends and activities. Try to remember that you may be the best at doing something, but sometimes it doesn’t need to be done better. Share the responsibility with Dad, your kids or friends. By delegating some tasks you can free up some precious time for yourself. It can be a challenge, but it will give you a chance to think and manage your stress. Exercise, read or sit on the deck; anything that can help balance the busyness of summer. It will make you happy and more productive.

As you start to empty the backpacks of another year’s work, don’t forget that summertime should be a special time for you and your children. Enjoy snuggling small wet bodies, teaching kids the art of the perfect smore and catching fireflies in jars. This summer give yourself a chance to reconnect with your children, eat outside or take a nap in the hammock; try to slow the “merry-go-round” down. As The Cars put it, “Summer… Oh Oh, It’s magic!”

Brenda Jacobson

a child may outgrow your arms, but he will never outgrow your heart.

—otmom

photo: rialee photography | ria czichotzki

Trusted team Neonatal Intensive Care Unit

Parents know their own children best. But if an infant becomes seriously ill or is born too early, families can trust Sanford Children’s NICU team to know best.

For families, the NICU is a place of care, hope and healing.

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As the most comprehensive NICU in the region, we bring intensive care near, so families can stay close. So infants have access to the most compassionate care and advanced treatments. And so families can get back to what matters most – life.

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