April/May 2022 On the Minds of Moms by on the minds of moms

APRIL MAY 2022

Inside: The valley’s modern resource for today’s parent

FARGO COUPLE ONE YEAR INTO EMOTIONAL JOURNEY OF BEING FOSTER PARENTS PG 24 SKIP THE TAKEOUT AND DO TACO TUESDAY AT HOME PG 32

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contributors

On the Minds of Moms is grateful to have the following individuals contributing their expertise and voice to this issue of the magazine.

Melissa Davidson is a mom to three girls and writer for Click Content Studios, a marketing and video production agency. In addition to writing, she’s passionate about health and wellness, wishes she could get through all the non-fiction books out there, and thrives on learning new things, like the cello!

Jessica Rerick of Grand Forks is a freelance writer, trained chef and mom to four boys. Her food blog, wineandhotdish.com, is filled with recipes that quickly become new weeknight favorites. She also owns and operates Craveable Kitchen, an expanding line of dry mixes and seasonings.

Katie Pinke lives in rural North Dakota with her husband and three children, ages 12 to 24. In addition to juggling her family roles and owning a small business with her husband, she works full-time as the publisher and general manager of Agweek and AgweekTV.

M.J. Hansen of Fargo is a retired counselor following her lifelong passion to be a freelance writer. Some of her biggest joys include being a mom, pontoon time with her husband, and discovering the latest and greatest restaurants in the area.

Danielle Teigen is managing editor of On the Minds of Moms magazine as well as the author of two nonfiction local history books. She and her husband have three children who keep every day filled with laughter, craziness and caffeine.

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CONTENT

IN EVERY ISSUE

CONTRIBUTORS

EDITOR'S NOTE

SHUTTERBUG

EVENTS

Taylor Jane Photography

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CONTENT

FEATURES & PROFILES

MOD MOM Erin Buzick

WELLNESS

How physical therapy delivers the most effective post-C-section care

PARENTING PERSPECTIVES Love yourself so you can love others more

SPOTLIGHT ON SUPPORT

Jeremiah Program Fargo-Moorhead supports single moms and their families

COVER STORY Fargo couple one year into emotional journey of being foster parents

CHILDHOOD ANXIETY New treatment program equips parents with tools and a plan

GOOD FOOD Skip the takeout and do Taco Tuesday at home

RAD DAD Patrick Kirby

36 Plus: 16

GUEST COLUMN How a Mother’s Day tradition blossomed

BOOK NOOK “Prairie Princess”

HONORING ANDI Mark Olsonawski family sponsors Down Home’s 100th family move-in

On the Minds of Moms • April | May 2022 | 5

moms@forumcomm.com PUBLISHER Forum Communications Company EDITOR Mary Jo Hotzler mhotzler@forumcomm.com MANAGING EDITOR Danielle Teigen danielle.teigen@forumcomm.com WRITERS Melissa Davidson M.J. Hansen Katie Pinke Jessica Rerick Danielle Teigen ADVERTISING Lisa Tillotson adfeatures@forumcomm.com DESIGN AND LAYOUT Sara Slaby PHOTOGRAPHY Ten Little Chickens Photography CONTENT INQUIRIES moms@forumcomm.com

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MISSION AND VISION

On the Minds of Moms is dedicated to providing a community of local support and real-life advice for the modern mom who is on the go and needs to know. We are inspired to help the woman behind “the mom” balance it all by offering support, validation and reassurance she is a good mom wanting only the best for herself and family. On the Minds of Moms is an online community and magazine for and about local moms. We strive to achieve a balance between useful information and entertaining content. Written to serve as the local reading alternative to family magazines that are produced for a national audience.

On the Minds of Moms contains views from across the parenting spectrum. These views do not necessarily reflect those of the publisher. All activities listed in these pages are at your own risk and require appropriate supervision.

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What does it mean to be a mom? I

f you ask me, the first paragraph of our Mod Mom profile this month sums it up nicely:

“Women mother more than just kids. Some women mother extended family members, some mother ideas and organizations and many mother animals as well as children in their lives.” It’s an interesting way to look at motherhood and all of the ways a person can provide this unique blend of nurturing, support and love to others in their lives. After all, the word “mother” can be both a noun and a verb. In my life, I am a mom to twin boys. They turned 12 years old in March, and I can’t quite wrap my head around this being the last year before the teenage years hit. But like most of us, I mother so much more than my kids — at home, work and in life. Of course, broadening the concept and definition of mothering doesn’t minimize the actual feat of bringing

MARY JO HOTZLER

a child into the world and all that comes with that — mentally and physically. That’s a big deal, too, and in this edition of On the Minds of Moms, we have a story that speaks to the physical impacts of childbirth. More specifically, our story is about c-section recovery and how to overcome issues like loss of core strength, urinary incontinence and back pain. Meanwhile in our cover story this month, we introduce you to Crystal Knight and her husband Jeff. Crystal is a mom to two children, and together Crystal and Jeff are proud foster parents. In the story Jeff says being a foster parent has amplified a notion he already had before meeting his wife and her kids:“I knew the kids didn’t have to be mine, they didn’t have to come from me for me to love them.” Jeff and Crystal hope more people will consider this path. As always, please continue to share your story ideas with us at moms@forumcomm.com and enjoy this edition of the magazine.

Mary Jo Hotzler is Forum Communications Company’s Chief Content Officer and the editor of On the Minds of Moms. She lives in Fargo with her husband Heath and twin boys.

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Jay and Erin Buzick are active volunteers for the Turtle Mountain Animal Rescue, and their home is often a temporary home to expecting dog moms. Jay and Erin also have four dogs of their own as well as a cat. Photo courtesy of Ten Little Chickens Photography 8 | On the Minds of Moms • April | May 2022

MOD MOM Erin Buzick Her passion saves the lives of animals in need BY DANIELLE TEIGEN Women mother more than just kids. Some women mother extended family members, some mother ideas and organizations and many mother animals as well as children in their lives. Erin Buzick is not only mom to five pets (four dogs and one cat), she’s also a foster mom to many animals (mostly dogs) who need a welcoming home to stay while the nonprofit Turtle Mountain Animal Rescue searches for forever homes for the animals. As if that isn’t enough, Erin and her husband of 20 years, Jay, are also uniquely positioned to foster expecting dogs who need a special place to welcome their pups. Originally from Rochester, Minnesota, Erin landed in Fargo thanks to the communications program at NDSU. While attending college, she met Jay and the pair married in 2002. She’s a project manager at U.S. Bank and well before the pandemic ever started, Erin became a remote employee. She shared that working remotely has been great for her work-life balance, which allowed her to get involved with the Turtle Mountain Animal Rescue in 2018. The organization, which is located in Rolla, North Dakota, was founded only 5 years ago, but it’s making

Each day is such a beautiful opportunity; I hope that I never sacrifice today’s potential trying to chase an unpromised tomorrow. ERIN BUZICK

a big impact through the work of volunteers like Erin (who also serves on the organization’s board of directors). While more than 5,000 animals have been rescued through the organization’s efforts, the need continues to grow. Erin said many people have expressed to her that they’d be interested in fostering animals, but they are scared of the sadness that would accompany having to let the animals go to their forever home. “I

don’t discount that sadness, but the opportunity to save the life in front of you is so real and so powerful that I would hope most people would think that opportunity would outweigh the sadness,” she explained. “It’s such a blessing to be a part of a family welcoming a new member.” As far as human members of her family goes, Erin said she and Jay talked about having children every few years, but neither was ever that excited about the notion. “We On the Minds of Moms • April | May 2022 | 9

MOD MOM both felt like we should really want to start a family, but we were both comfortable with where we were in our lives,” Erin said. Erin and Jay’s family includes a nearly 9-year-old cat named Gwinner, named for the North Dakota town where he was rescued through “another amazing nonprofit” Erin supports called Cat’s Cradle. He’s pretty tolerant of his dog brothers and the many fosters he shares his home with, but “he makes sure the dogs know where they are in the pecking order,” Erin said. Those dogs include 2 smaller dogs named Sullivan and Bodie, who are around 6 years old as well as two big dogs named Tyson, 3, and Samson, 1.5. Both of them were adopted through TMAR, although they’ve been with the Buzick family since being rescued. Keep reading to learn more about what makes Erin a mod mom. What do you and your husband do for fun? We don’t necessarily have a lot of hobbies. We do enjoy watching movies and working on projects around the house. Mostly, our time

volunteering for the rescue IS a primary hobby and way that we spend quality time together! Did you ever think you’d become an animal advocate? I don’t know that I consider myself an animal advocate even now! LOL. I just try to do the best I can with each animal that is directly in front of me. I have always had a special love for animals though. I feel very fortunate that I am in a position to help as much as I am able. My real hope is that maybe people will see what we do and be inspired to start their own journey to make a difference in an area that they are passionate about. What life lessons have you learned through your involvement with Turtle Mountain Animal Rescue? Oh man, so many! Certainly be wary of the teeth, even if the tail is wagging — which goes for people as much as it goes for animals! But I think maybe just realizing the importance of finding the path that is yours and not worrying about the trails that others are walking. No matter what you do, there will always be those that criticize. The sooner you realize that those voices are not as important as

the one in your heart and you start to give credence to your own voice and your own spirit above those, I think that is key. Absolutely listen for constructive input and take help as it is offered, but remember that just because your path isn’t what someone else would choose, that does not make it wrong. What has been the most rewarding part of fostering an animal? To me, it is the knowledge that my efforts helped or will help to make a family grow in love. The one that I am able to save will be able to join a family and increase the love in a household. Due to the type of fostering that I typically do, I do not always get to meet that family directly. However, what could be better than multiplying the amount of love in this world? Most challenging? The very hardest thing is the trust. You just have to constantly trust that the next family that takes them to foster or to adopt will love them like you do. Focusing on the very happy endings and trying not to think as much about the times where maybe things didn’t always have the outcome you had hoped. How did you find this passion? What would you tell other women about how to find their passion?

Sullivan and Bodie are the two smaller dogs in the Buzick family, and they are each around 6 years old. 10 | On the Minds of Moms • April | May 2022

Well, I knew I had a passion for rescue and so I wanted to help out an organization that not only aligned with my passion, but made room for me. I think that sometimes we burn ourselves out trying to convince people that we deserve to be at the table. I think it is so important that when you are pursuing a personal passion, that you find a group that welcomes you, flaws and all. Even more so, always make sure you are making room for the next person. Help those coming in behind you — make more space! Finding a passion is so terribly difficult. I am not sure I have any wise advice for that one! Just check in with yourself once and while. Are you still happy chasing that passion? Is the expenditure

The other two dogs in the Buzick family include Samson, 1.5, and Tyson, 3. Both came into the family through Turtle Mountain Animal Rescue. Photo courtesy of Ten Little Chickens Photography

of time, spirit and love still worth it to you? Give yourself permission to change your mind with no explanations required. If you could adopt any type of animal, what would it be? Baby goat! How do you like to relax and unwind? I have a very small group of people that I just enjoy being with. Whether it is a quick cup of coffee at a coffee shop or hanging out at their kitchen table eating a donut with them and their kids, my very close group of friends is what refills my spirit. I have been incredibly lucky to meet some truly wonderful and beautiful people along the way. Spending time with them is always a blessing. What would you want anyone to know before adopting a pet?

ownership is a big commitment and I am not sure that people understand what that means. It is more than taking care of the physical needs like food, vet care and exercise. People domesticated animals — we brought them out of the outside world to live with us — so we have a responsibility to ensure we create a world that works for them, not just one that is convenient for us. That and —I always tell people — you want to get ready for a new pet? Go ahead and find your favorite or most valuable item and just break it before they arrive, rip off the bandaid and get it over with!

What do you see for your life in 5 years? I don’t know. And, I am okay with that! I have never been someone to be able to clearly articulate a specific long-term goal or a specific future dream. More than anything, I just have hopes. I hope that I am able to see the opportunities as they arise and capitalize on them. I hope that I can inspire just one person to do something in their community. I hope that I can always do better tomorrow than I did yesterday. Each day is such a beautiful opportunity; I hope that I never sacrifice today’s potential trying to chase an unpromised tomorrow.

If you’re interested in fostering animals or volunteering with Turtle Mountain Animal Rescue, please visit https://turtlemountainanimalrescue.org/.

Pet ownership is not for everyone and even if it is for you, it may not be the RIGHT time RIGHT now. Pet On the Minds of Moms • April | May 2022 | 11

Physical therapy after a C-section can help women gain strength and reduce any long-term issues. April is Cesarean Awareness Month. Shutterstock / Special to On the Minds of Moms

How physical therapy delivers the most effective post-C-section care BY MELISSA DAVIDSON

ike after any other major surgery, the post-cesarean-section experience is no walk in the park; you’re talking pain, limited activities and likely scarring, not to mention that recovery takes weeks. Yet for many women, the surgery can have lasting effects, including loss of core strength, urinary incontinence and back pain. So how can women prevent these issues or effectively treat them once they’ve started happening? With the right post-C-section care. “The American College of Gynecology and Obstetrics recently recommended that 12 | On the Minds of Moms • April | May 2022

moms have some sort of follow-up at around three weeks post-partum,” women’s health clinical specialist Jill Ehrmantraut said. “Our local hospitals primarily follow-up around six weeks, but your pelvic floor physical therapist is an appropriate person to see at three weeks postpartum.” In fact, working with a physical therapist after most major surgeries is a typical part of the care plan, and one that’s critical to helping patients get back to pre-surgery strength and warding off any long-term issues. But post-C-section physical therapy is only now

WELLNESS gaining visibility for its huge benefits in this arena. Ehrmantraut, who works for Apex Physical Therapy and Wellness Center, added that working with a physical therapist early on after a C-section is the most effective way women can reduce scar pain, as well as improve core and pelvic floor strength to speed up healing and prevent any future issues.

Why it’s Important During pregnancy, women’s core muscles naturally weaken and even more so if they’ve had a C-section, which involves cutting through multiple layers of muscle. These core muscles work alongside the pelvic floor muscles to do many functions; you really can’t separate the two. When your core is weak, your pelvic floor may try to pick up the slack, which can cause issues such as urinary incontinence or pelvic pain. Even the scar itself can contribute to core weakness and eventual back pain. Women who’ve had a C-section are also at risk for DRA, or diastasis rectus abdominus, the softening or doming up and down the middle of your abdomen, which again can contribute to back pain. What can women expect when working with a physical therapist? A physical therapist will work on the C-section scar to ensure it is moving appropriately and decrease pain as it heals. Therapists also help moms find comfortable body positions and movements while taking care of the baby which will reduce stress to the abdomen and scar as well as decrease pain. Once more healing has occurred (between 3 to 6 weeks), guided core and pelvic floor exercises can begin. This will help improve mobility and restore strength to those areas that weaken during pregnancy, helping your body return to “normal” quicker and prevent any long-term issues such as lower back pain and urinary incontinence.

Working with a physical therapist early on after a C-section is the most effective way women can reduce scar pain, as well as improve core and pelvic floor strength. JILL EHRMANTRAUT

Can physical therapy also help expecting moms achieve a better outcome post-baby? Absolutely! Maintaining core and pelvic floor strength is one of the main things a physical therapist will work on with pregnant women. When your core and pelvic floor are conditioned going into delivery, it can make the process a little easier and quicker, for both a C-section or vaginal delivery. Also, the better those muscle groups are functioning during pregnancy, the better they will function once the baby is here! That will not only assist in the healing process, but also make caring for baby easier as you will have more strength and stamina to do so. A PT will also be able to identify body or muscle imbalances during pregnancy so they will no longer be an issue after you have your baby. Is there anything unique in terms of post-C-section therapy for women who have had or will have more than one? There will be more scar tissue when having multiple C-sections. Although they will use the same incision site, each time you have surgery, scar tissue still develops.

Multiple C-sections also mean multiple incisions through your core muscles. Because of this, it’s very important to appropriately rehab your core muscles to prevent any long-term weakness, along with good scar tissue releases to reduce restrictions and pain. Why does physical therapy work? There are many musculoskeletal changes during pregnancy. A pelvic floor PT will assess for all of the changes women experience and develop an individualized plan to address the musculoskeletal issues found. This will improve the function of the muscles and joints in your body, which can have profound effects in how we move throughout our life. Anything else women should know? Whether you have a C-section or vaginal delivery, your body has gone through some major changes. Even in one visit we will be able to assess how your body is functioning and give recommendations (including exercises) on how to restore your body so you can function at your highest level. Physical therapy is common practice for any other injury or surgery, it needs to be common practice for pregnancy and postpartum as well! On the Minds of Moms • April | May 2022 | 13

Love yourself so you can love others more BY KATIE PINKE

oming out of the long winter and into a fresh spring season, you might feel like a weary mom. I connect with the feeling. Or possibly, you’re in the blurry years of raising babies, or teens. I connect with that life stage, too. But through all life chapters, I’ve learned an important aspect of who I am the past few years and it’s simply, I need to love myself more than I have in the past. I am a better mom, wife, employee, friend and neighbor when I love myself and extend the love to others. In 2019, we sold our home on the prairie. We felt a nudge to move so we uprooted our family for a change — a change we had absolutely no idea was coming. When we couldn’t find the right home to buy, we moved 200 miles to my family’s farm and lived with my parents. Our daughters started attending a new school and we expanded our small business to a second location on a farmstead we purchased. Later that year, right after Christmas, our college-aged son was paralyzed in a skiing accident. Then in March 2020, well … we all know what happened that month. I often say to parents raising babies and toddlers, “you’re in the blurry years.” However, there were times in 2019, 2020 and even 2021 that were blurrier than when I was raising toddlers. In the days, weeks and months following our son’s accident and during his spinal cord injury rehabilitation in early 2020, friends and strangers cared for my family in big and small ways. I’ll never be able to fully describe how the care, concern and prayers from those who have known me for a lifetime to many who haven’t seen me in years to complete strangers meant to our family. 14 | On the Minds of Moms • April | May 2022

Katie, Nathan, Hunter, Elizabeth and Anika Pinke attend a family wedding reception in September 2021. Special to On the Minds of Moms About 10 weeks after our son’s skiing accident, COVID-19 hit, and the world shut down. While many found the global pandemic to be polarizing and often lonely, it provided me the much-needed time to pause and refocus. In early 2021, I made it a priority to care for myself. Before I could care and love others, I needed to equally love myself and purposefully carve out time for me, an individual, a mom and a wife in my 40s who

recently journeyed through my most difficult, darkest days. I did not need a comeback. I did not need to bounce back from trauma. I did not need to be more of a mom or a wife. I simply needed to love myself, which would in turn allow me to show and share more love to those around me. I’m not going back to who or where I was in the past. If you’re going through some tough times, I encourage you to pause and reset. What worked for me to make that happen will likely be different for you, which is why I’m not going to feature a self-help checklist to follow. Through trial and error, find what works for you to love yourself once again. On the other side of your journey, you will be a better wife, mom, daughter, employee, friend and even stranger to those you encounter. The past few years have opened my eyes to how my people and, again, even strangers love me even in some of my most

Katie Pinke’s favorite corner of the Minnesota woods to reset is near Dent, Minn. Katie Pinke / On the Minds of Moms

unlovable, ugly moments. That deep level of love and thoughtfulness stirred a desire in me to give back.

It’s a new season to love yourself first and then extend that gracious love to those around you.

College for Kids & Teens Summer programs for ages 6-18 at MSUM ▸ June 6-9 ▸ June 13-16 ▸ July 11-14 ▸ July 18-21

Registration opens March 1

registration, visit www.mnstate.edu/cfkt On the Minds of Moms • April | May 2022 | 15

How a Mother’s Day tradition blossomed GUEST COLUMN BY M.J. HANSEN

mong my fondest memories as a mother is the tradition of “Breakfast in Bed” on Mother’s Day delivered by my two children and spouse, something I’d always hoped for. I believe the idea was planted when I was a young girl around first grade, and I decided to surprise my mother by making her breakfast. I coyly asked her one morning how long she cooked the boiled eggs, and my memory is that she said two minutes.

made toast. My recollection is bringing her breakfast and her delightful expression of surprise by my gesture. She cracked an egg and it spread thinly over the whole plate. She asked me how long they were cooked. I replied, “Two minutes.” She gently said, “Well, you have to wait for the water to boil before you start timing it to give the eggs a chance to cook.” She ate only the toast and lovingly thanked me for my efforts. I felt 10 feet tall.

I woke up early, put 2 eggs in a small pan of water, timed them for two minutes and

Fast forward to 1988 and I was now a mom to my son Daniel. Sometime after his brother

This 1999 photo shows the earliest breakfast in bed offering Michael (left), 7, and Daniel (right), 10, made for their mother M.J. Hansen. The tradition carried on for many years after this first occasion. Special to On the Minds of Moms

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Years ago, M.J. Hansen gave her mother a card with this photo on it to remind her of when M.J. made breakfast in bed for her. Photo by Dennis Mosner for avantipress.com

Michael was born, I had shared with my husband that it was my secret desire to be served breakfast in bed for a future Mother’s Day. I can’t recall the exact year it started, but I do remember I would play possum to appear like I was still sleeping. Noises and smells would be drifting into the bedroom from the kitchen, and I would eagerly await the boys and their dad to arrive with the breakfast. The boys’ eyes were always beaming, as if their excitement matched mine while they presented the breakfast, Mother’s Day cards and homemade gifts from school that had been tucked away from my view. I, of course, would ooh and ahh over the food, cards and gifts. The boys always appeared so proud of their efforts. I would feel so loved and it soon became my most favorite holiday of the year. As the boys reached junior high, I found myself searching for ways to extend the day as long as I could. I would tease and say, “Remember, it’s not Mother’s Day moment, it’s Mother’s Dayyyyyyyyyy.” Sometimes we went to a movie together or participated in other activities like shopping at the garden store to buy spring flowers to plant, out for a fancy coffee, and one year even made special dinner plates at Clay Your Way. I asked Daniel, who is now 33, what he remembers from Mother’s Days of past, and he said, “Dad always would help us carry the tray up the stairs so we didn’t spill the juice. He’d set the tray on the floor in front of your closed bedroom door, so we could pick it up and carry it into you. Eventually we got old enough to do all of it ourselves.” Michael, who is now 30, shared, “I remember Dad waking us up and

helping organize everything. We’d try to be quiet because we wanted to surprise you. I remember singing ‘Happy Mother’s Day to you’ when we walked in with the tray of food.” Each year, I couldn’t help but wonder… was this the year the breakfast in bed tradition would end? After all, even having had one in those early years was never a

guarantee they would continue. But, they did. Even a few after the boys hit college. Eventually, the boys’ lives became busy and opportunities to gather for Mother’s Day became challenging. Daniel moved away, and Michael had many commitments. I decided to incentivize them by offering to treat them to new shoes for the upcoming On the Minds of Moms • April | May 2022 | 17

MOTHER’S DAY

The boys always appeared so proud of their efforts. I would feel so loved and it soon became my most favorite holiday of the year. M.J. HANSEN

Mother’s Day. We decided to meet in St. Cloud, have lunch and shop for shoes. It was a great time, and I enjoyed it even more as they modeled their new footwear, expressed appreciation for the day and hoped we’d do it again soon. Mother’s Day will always hold so many wonderful memories for us. I am aware that it didn’t just magically happen. I needed to express my wish, my husband nurtured it and the boys embraced it. Thank you, David, Daniel and Michael. My mom heart has overflowed.

This 2016 photo shows M.J. Hansen with her then-27-year-old son Daniel and then-24-year-old son Michael while they were shoe shopping as a way to commemorate Mother’s Day that year. Special to On the Minds of Moms 18 | On the Minds of Moms • April | May 2022

SPOTLIGHT ON SUPPORT

Jeremiah Program Fargo-Moorhead supports single moms and their families BY DANIELLE TEIGEN

ince 2014, the Jeremiah Program has been helping single mothers and their children disrupt the cycle of poverty two generations at a time. The nonprofit was founded in Minneapolis in 1993 and began expanding beyond that as need grew. Fargo-Moorhead’s program aims to support mothers in their personal and professional goals as well as challenges social stigmas about single motherhood, according to jeremiahprogram.org. The organization focuses on helping single mothers access college and career support as well as quality early childhood education. In addition, mothers are offered a supportive community, a 12-week empowerment and leadership training course as well as safe and affordable housing. Participants of the program are encouraged to earn or finish a college degree as well as participate in leadership training to promote stability and independence. In 2021, the organization affected 100 lives of mothers of children in the Fargo-Moorhead area, an increase of 32% from the previous year, according to its website. In 2019, the Jeremiah Program in FargoMoorhead saw one of its first participants graduate from college. Olivia Foss had been living in the program’s apartment complex with her then-3-year-old son Leo as she completed nursing classes at Rasmussen University. In May 2019, she graduated and shortly after began working for Sanford Health in the oncology department, according to a May 25, 2019, Forum article. As of January, Foss began working at Edgewood in Fargo as nurse manager, according to a Facebook post by the organization, where she previously worked as a CNA.

Olivia Foss and her son, Leo, color in their apartment at the Jeremiah Program housing in south Fargo in this 2019 photo. Foss was one of the program’s first graduates. David Samson / The Forum According to the Institute of Women’s Policy Research, single mothers are less likely to complete a college degree due to child care or financial issues; the Jeremiah Program aims to remove those barriers. As with any nonprofit organization, the Jeremiah Program offers a number of ways individuals can support its work, whether that involves making a financial contribution or volunteering. Anyone interested in learning more about volunteer opportunities and needs is encouraged to contact info@ jeremiahprogram.org. The organization holds its annual fundraising gala in April. Applications for participation in the program are accepted year-round, with the training kicking off in September. Participants qualify based on income and must be on a two-year or four-year college track. On the Minds of Moms • April | May 2022 | 19

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My2Peas Photography

Ten Little Chickens Photography

Taylor Jane Photography

Everyday Adventures Photography

Sophie Grace Photography Jennifer Peters Photography

shutterbug Shutterbug is a section dedicated to partnering with area photographers who have a passion for family portraits. Interested in having your photographs featured? Email moms@forumcomm.com.

On the Minds of Moms • April | May 2022 | 21

Taylor Jane Photography

Everyday Adventures Photography My2Peas Photography

Sophie Grace Photography

Exposures by j.linnea

Jennifer Peters Photography

Ten Little Chickens Photography

HIGH LEVEL CARE AND INDUSTRY LEADING SUCCESS RATES ARE WITHIN REACH FOR PATIENTS FROM ACROSS REGION AT MINNEAPOLIS-BASED FERTILITY CLINIC Even though Megan Ehora and her husband of nearly 10 years Rashad Alghamdi knew they weren’t the only patients receiving care at fertility clinic CCRM Fertility in Minneapolis, they sure felt like they were. “I feel like the individualized attention to my specific case was amazing,” Megan shared as she cradled her son, Mastour, who was born at the beginning of February. “Everyone at CCRM Fertility would call with updates and talk about things we could try; we really felt like we were the only family working with them and that we were being individually catered to. I felt like we knew everyone there and had an incredible level of care and support on our journey.” That high level of care is a hallmark of CCRM Fertility and likely the reason so many of its patients drive from hours and even several states away. Dr. Stephanie Dahl is a reproductive endocrinologist at CCRM Fertility in Minneapolis who sees patients in both Fargo and Bismarck. Because of its geographical spread as well as the advent of telehealth visits, CCRM is able to offer flexibility in its individualized plans for each patient. “They come to Minneapolis for their indepth work-up, but then we do as much as possible locally,” said Dr. Dahl. “With In Vitro Fertilization (IVF), there are many ultrasounds and blood draws, so it’s good to be able to do those where it’s most convenient for the patient.” In addition to the flexibility, Dr. Dahl explained that every patient is assigned a nurse for their entire journey with CCRM, which means that whenever possible, a patient speaks to their nurse for every follow-up and question. “We

Megan Ehora and Rashad Alghamdi with son Mastour. really get to know them, so we get excited for every positive pregnancy test and a little sad when it’s not,” she said. “But then we look back at the treatment plan to figure out how we can make a pregnancy happen for them.” After trying to conceive naturally for years, Megan and her husband already endured the disappointment of a failed IVF cycle in 2015 with a different fertility clinic. They stepped away from treatment for a few years, during which time Megan learned about CCRM through an employee resource group dedicated to infertility issues. In late

22 | On the Minds of Moms • April | May 2022

2020, Megan reached out to CCRM and was delighted to discover that she and her husband would be working with Dr. Dahl. Megan shared, “She took the time to talk about the things that had changed with the science since the first time we did IVF, and she walked through our care plan and what she wanted to change. She was so patient and really met us where we were.” Megan’s medical conditions, as well as her husband’s male factor infertility, complicated the journey, but Dr. Dahl was able to personalize a treatment plan to maximize the opportunity for success.

Nearly six months after reaching out to CCRM and enduring another IVF cycle, Megan got a positive pregnancy test. And just over a month into 2022, she and Rashad welcomed their beautiful baby boy Mastour.

you need people to celebrate with you along the way.” Dr. Dahl and the entire team at CCRM certainly celebrate every step of the way with their patients, and they love to see a happy ending for every family who comes to them. “CCRM is well known nationally for its high success rates, and I think people know about that and our desire to really make every patient successful,” Dr. Dahl explained. CCRM Fertility Minneapolis’ main center is located at 6565 France Avenue South, Suite 400, Edina, MN 55435 with satellite offices in Bismarck (1000 East Rosser Avenue Bismarck, ND 58501) and Fargo (Essentia Health Fargo, 3000 32nd Ave S, Fargo, ND 58103). To schedule an appointment with one of the CCRM physicians, visit www.ccrmivf.com/contact.

Baby Mastour. Since beginning her journey with CCRM, Megan has become a resource to coworkers and friends also struggling with infertility. “I tell them to research clinics and understand success rates as well as talk to the doctor and ask questions; you really have to mesh well with the doctor because that’s an important relationship, it has to feel right or you shouldn’t move forward,” Megan explained. “I also tell them to mentally prepare as much as physically prepare. Put together a support system. Talk with your partner to make sure you both understand what the journey is going to look like, because it’s an isolating process if you’re doing this alone.”

advanced fertility treatments, with deep expertise in in vitro fertilization (IVF), fertility assessment, fertility preservation, genetic testing, third party reproduction and egg donation. Unlike many other fertility clinics that outsource their specialists and testing needs, CCRM leverages its own data, as well as a dedicated team of inhouse reproductive endocrinologists, embryologists and geneticists in order to deliver industry-leading outcomes.

What differentiates CCRM from other fertility providers is rooted in a deep commitment to consistently investing in new proprietary technology and scientific techniques that translates into superior outcomes and a family’s fastest path to a healthy baby. CCRM in Minneapolis is part of the CCRM Fertility network of clinics. CCRM is one of the nation’s top leaders in fertility care and research for over 30 years. CCRM specializes in the most

Dr. Stephanie Dahl

Megan and her husband hope by being open about their infertility issues and fertility treatment journey that they can support others experiencing infertility. “I share with people what’s worked for me and refer them to things they can consider, but ultimately they have to know and decide what is best for them,” Megan explained. “I just try to give them resources and let them know that someone else knows and is invested in their journey. You need that tribe of people because you’re going to go through this journey along with everything else in your life, and On the Minds of Moms • April | May 2022 | 23

24 | On the Minds of Moms • April | May 2022

Jeff and Crystal Knight

Fostering the unknown Fargo couple one year into emotional journey of being foster parents BY DANIELLE TEIGEN

early one year ago, Jeff and Crystal Knight shared a very special announcement on social media. The Facebook post included a professional photo of the smiling couple with a major announcement about their family: They were becoming foster parents. The Knights say that they deliberately shared their big news like many do pregnancy announcements, because for them, this is their baby announcement. “We wanted to treat it with just as much as excitement,” Crystal said. “We want to normalize foster care and normalize the process and fear and pain and excitement and love.”

As with most foster parents, their journey – though still brief – has certainly been filled with all of those emotions. And they wouldn’t have it any other way.

Finding their happily ever after Jeff and Crystal met online but quickly discovered their circle of friends overlapped quite a bit. They were delighted to find out they shared similar interests in the arts, and Crystal even noted that Jeff was wearing a “Support Local Art” shirt in his online profile picture, and she happened to be wearing hers the night she saw Jeff’s profile. The pair clicked immediately, but with Crystal having two children from a previous marriage, she wanted to make sure her

Jeff and Crystal Knight are shown with Olivia, 12, and Adrian, 9, as well as the little boy they fostered for 8 months who was recently reunited with his mother. He was their first long-term placement after they became licensed foster parents in May 2021. Photo courtesy of Olivia Alnes Photography

On the Minds of Moms • April | May 2022 | 25

relationship with Jeff was serious before introducing him to her daughter and son.

Want to know more about becoming a foster parent? According to the Family Services Division of Cass County: • Foster parents can be single or married. • They can rent or own a home. • They will be reimbursed to cover basic care for foster children. • They choose the age range, gender or special needs of children for whom they will provide care. • Foster children do not require their own bedroom but rather a bed and sufficient space for their personal belongings. • Foster children of an appropriate age can be in a basement bedroom with an egress window.

For Jeff, he assumed that the older he got before settling down, the less likely he would be to have a family of his own. But then Crystal, Olivia and Adrian came along. “I just fell in love with her and the kids; it sparked something in me that I wanted to be a part of,” he shared. Jeff and Crystal married on Sept. 14, 2019, with Olivia, now 12, serving as her mom’s maid of honor and Adrian, now 9, acting as Jeff’s best man. Now that they had become a family, Jeff and Crystal debated whether to add a child of their own to the mix. While Crystal felt like she wasn’t done with the early stages a new baby brings and Jeff recognized that he missed out on all of those stages with Olivia and Adrian, the couple decided not to have a child together. “I just want to mother everyone,” Crystal shared. “I felt like I wasn’t done, and I happened to be talking to a friend of ours who fosters, and she told me foster parents are so needed.” She and Jeff talked about what becoming foster parents would involve, and they initially decided to become licensed so they could take on emergency placements (as opposed to long-term placements) and offer respite care for other foster families for a short duration. But fate had other plans.

The licensing process can take several months to complete, because it involves: • Background checks of adults in the home. • An application and references. • Medical self-declaration forms for everyone in the home. • An orientation visit followed by questionnaire to references. • Completion of online training videos regarding safety requirements. • Two to three home visits after completion of the home study. • Proof of auto insurance and pet immunizations (if applicable). • Completion of PRIDE training. To learn more, visit the Red River Foster & Adopt Coalition website at http://jsherbro.mydomain.com/. You can also call 701-241-5765 to speak with a Foster Care Licensing Specialist or email info@changealifetime.com. 26 | On the Minds of Moms • April | May 2022

Crystal Knight is joined by her foster son and his mother for a photo showing how their foster experience has expanded both of their families. Photo courtesy of Olivia Alnes Photography

FOSTERING THE UNKNOWN

A sudden change Just weeks after Jeff and Crystal made their big announcement on social media, they agreed to provide respite care for an 8-month-old and a 2-year-old over Memorial Day weekend, and they were all excited about the new experience. Then they received a call that a 14-month-old boy was in emergency care but needed a longer-term placement within days, so for one day, the Knight household expanded from four people to seven, with three of them under the age of 2. “It was chaos,” Jeff remembered, as Crystal chimed in, “That was a lot.” But it was short-lived because the other two children returned to their foster family, and the little boy remained with the Knight family, who had been gifted many necessary baby items from friends and family who no longer needed them. “They were so happy to be giving it to us knowing it was going to a good situation to better a child’s life,” Jeff said. When the Knights agreed to foster the little boy, they had no idea how long he would actually be with them. It turned out to be an eight-month long placement. Through it all, not only was the little boy growing and changing, but so was the Knight family. “When we talked with the kids about fostering, we told them if they weren’t happy with it, we wouldn’t do it, but I don’t think they’ve been anything but excited,” Jeff explained. And the kids quickly became as enamored of their new family member as Jeff and Crystal did. “They have shown a kindness and empathy that we’ve never seen before in our kids,” Crystal shared. Everyone knew going into the process that reunification is the ultimate goal of fostering, so they have been delighted to have formed a solid, supportive relationship with the boy’s mom. “We’re here for the whole family, and I think we feel really lucky that his mom is doing so well and that we have a good relationship with her,” Crystal said. “It makes saying goodbye easier because there’s the happiness of knowing the child is going back to their parents who ultimately love them. You put your own pain aside.”

We want to normalize foster care and normalize the process and fear and pain and excitement and love. CRYSTAL KNIGHT

child to go back to a loving family,” Jeff explained. “It prompts you to think about how can I help more? How much help do they want from us? It’s the feeling of wanting to make sure the child has the best life possible moving forward.” That means supporting mom and making sure others understand everything she is doing to reunite with her child. “We’re advocating for her just as much as for him,” Crystal said. “We told her how proud of her we are even when we didn’t know her because she was doing what she can to get her child back. We weren’t judging her.” Although they are still early in their fostering journey, Jeff and Crystal hope by sharing their story with others, they can help dispel some of the misconceptions people have about the foster care system and those in it. They started an Instagram account called @fosteringtheunknown to share their

Letting go and looking back When Jeff and Crystal sat down in February to share their story, they were within mere weeks of having to say goodbye to a sweet little boy who’d become a member of their family instantly. They shared their joy at knowing he would be returning to his mom, but Jeff and Crystal also acknowledged that not all foster care situations end as well as they believe theirs has. “You don’t want to feel like you’re investing in a child and returning them to a bad situation; you want the

JOIN THE FUN AT Jump Start Preschool On the Minds of Moms • April | May 2022 | 27

Jeff Knight shares a fun moment with his foster son, who was reunited with his mother in February. Jeff said he enjoyed being able to experience the toddler phase and watching his family’s capacity for love and empathy to grow. Photo courtesy of Olivia Alnes Photography

journey and help others understand the realities of being foster parents. “Mom is the hero, not us; she’s doing the hard work,” Crystal said. “It’s much easier to open your home to a child than make yourself a better person by confronting the issues you’re dealing with.” By the end of February, their foster son had returned to his mom. The situation was bittersweet, but the Knights know their relationship with his mom means they will still get to be intentional family members who will continue to love and support both of them. They decided to pause fostering long-term placements to give themselves a chance to process their own emotions and focus on their own family for a while. But they know the break will be short-lived. “After having a toddler in the house, we’d like to foster an older child, and Adrian would love someone his age to hang out with,” Crystal shared. Both acknowledged that extended family and friends have been so supportive from the moment they embarked on their fostering journey, 28 | On the Minds of Moms • April | May 2022

and Crystal said her employer, FBS, has been amazing. “I’m so grateful I work for them; my job is amazing,” she shared. As an NDSU professor, Jeff has flexibility and availability in the summer, which worked out well for their first placement last summer.

Challenges and rewards Looking back over this first phase of what they hope will be a long fostering journey, Jeff and Crystal already see some challenges. “Seeing the lack of support for the parents who are trying to get their kids back is hard,” Crystal said. “And we know caseworkers are so overworked.” Another challenge is the lack of licensed foster parents who can help other foster families. “We can’t leave a foster child overnight or for an extended period of time with someone who is not licensed,” Jeff explained. That’s why more foster parents are so crucial to the system. “The licensing process is lengthy, but it’s not hard,” Crystal shared. “You can get licensed and just be an emergency placement home or

provide respite care. So many foster parents get burned out because respite care isn’t available for them.” Cass County also provides support groups for foster parents, but Jeff and Crystal have relied more on an informal community of foster parents they’ve connected to through other friends who foster. They hope more people will make the decision to become foster parents. “I know a lot of people are scared to bring foster kids into their home with their own kids, but seeing how our kids have stepped up has been amazing,” Crystal shared. “We tell his mom, ‘We love you, you’re family now.’ It’s amazing to see how much you can love someone else’s child.” For Jeff, fostering has amplified a notion he already had before he ever met Crystal and her kids. “I knew the kids didn’t have to be mine, they didn’t have to come from me for me to love them,” Jeff said. “They can be just as important and special even if they came from someone else, and it’s surprising to find how easily they fit into the family.”

Book Nook “Prairie Princess” Jessie Veeder began writing her children’s book, “Prairie Princess”, years before she ever had kids of her own. Ten years ago when Veeder and her husband, Chad, moved from Montana to Veeder’s family ranch in western North Dakota, she spent that first summer experiencing a familiar place anew as she contemplated what her new life on the ranch would look like. The result of that freedom was a poem she wrote from the perspective of herself as a young girl living at the ranch. “We thought we’d come back at retirement age because we thought in the ‘90s that we had to leave in order to be successful,” Veeder shared. “So that first summer I was just getting re-energized and getting in touch with the real me.” Fast forward a few years: Veeder and her husband welcomed a daughter, and Veeder thought back to that poem she’d tucked away, wondering if it could be something more meaningful, like a children’s book. Through Veeder’s work at the Long X Arts Foundation, which Veeder founded to provide arts programming in McKenzie County, she knew many talented artists who could bring her vision to life. But one artist named Daphne JohnsonClark stood out. “She’s a humble artist who paints every day, and she depicts rural living and ranch life in such a beautiful way,” Veeder explained. “She knows what ranch life is like here in the heartland, that it shows families and everyone in that family out getting the job done.”

Jessie Veeder reads “Prairie Princess” to the audience at a presentation and creative workshop at the Fargo Public Library. Danielle Teigen / On the Minds of Moms Though Johnson-Clark had never illustrated a book before, she signed on and worked with Veeder on what the images would look like. Veeder’s daughter Edie, now 6, even added her own personality by insisting that a prairie princess would be wearing a pink tutu in addition to her jeans, cowboy hat and boots. While “Prairie Princess” is certainly a lovely story about the beauty of growing up on a ranch, the book also offers an opportunity to teach children (and parents or grandparents) about the importance of caring for the land and animals that live on it. “In my mind, the book is art being a chance to speak to agriculture,” Veeder said. “It’s another step to connecting with children after connecting to adults through my column and music... it’s a way for (parents and grandparents) to connect what they know and love with a child.” During her book stops at the beginning of the year, Veeder incorporated a creative workshop to give kids and adults the chance to consider their favorite place and create a picture that depicts it.

“It’s a lesson and learning about being a part of the places you love and to be proud of them,” Veeder said. Veeder’s love of music and storytelling is making its way to the next generation of ranchers through her daughters, Edie and Rosie, 4. Edie loves to perform and Veeder shared that Rosie asks her every day to be in a band with her. And don’t ask them if they want to grow up to be a singer — both girls insist they already are. Edie even joins her mother on one of the tracks of Veeder’s 2020 album, “Playing Favorites.” “Prairie Princess” is available for purchase on jessieveedermusic. com or at local bookstores such as Ferguson Books and More in West Fargo, Grand Forks and Bismarck; Zandbroz in Fargo; as well as in stores in Williston and online at Dakota Book Net. If you’re interested in having Veeder stop by a school or community event to read the book and facilitate her creative workshop, contact her at jessieveedermusic@gmail.com. - Danielle Teigen

On the Minds of Moms • April | May 2022 | 29

New childhood anxiety treatment program equips parents with tools, plan to help child overcome disorder Fargo therapist is one of two therapists in ND trained in SPACE program BY DANIELLE TEIGEN

ental health has been an important topic of conversation well before the pandemic started two years ago, but it’s become even more crucial in the last two years, especially when it comes to childhood mental health. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), 1 in 5 children have a mental disorder, and a 2020 survey of 3,300 high schoolers revealed that nearly one-third of students felt unhappy or depressed more than usual. Additionally, from March 2020 to October 2020, mental health-related emergency department visits increased 24% from the previous year for children ages 5 to 11 and 31% for kids ages 12 to 17, according to a CDC report cited by the American Psychological Association. Those numbers are alarming for many parents, but treatment is available, and in Fargo-Moorhead, an important new type may be an option. Kristin Weber is a licensed clinical mental health therapist at Lakeside Center for Behavioral Change in Fargo, and she is one of two providers in the state trained in the SPACE Program. SPACE stands for Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions, a parent-based program developed at the Yale Child Study Center by Dr. Eli Lebowitz. SPACE aims to treat children with anxiety disorders and obsessive-compulsive disorder, although the parents are the ones who attend the therapy sessions. “The program is just as effective as childbased cognitive behavioral therapy, but it works specifically with parents who are implementing skills and tools at home with the child,” she explained. “We know that for children with clinically significant anxiety, parents are likely accommodating that 30 | On the Minds of Moms • April | May 2022

When it comes to childhood anxiety, early intervention is key to creating an effective treatment plan. Shutterstock / Special to On the Minds of Moms anxiety in some way at home; parents are modifying their behavior in some way to reduce a child’s distress. All loving parents do this; that is what good parents do. But when your child has diagnosed anxiety, those accommodations can take on a life of their own, and we know that anxiety tends to be much worse when lots of accommodations are being made.” Weber explained that the program is designed to have therapists work with parents to identify the accommodations being made and develop a plan to address the child’s distress related to the disorder he or she experiences. “The goals of SPACE are to help the parent respond more supportively in response to their child’s anxiety and

CHILDHOOD ANXIETY their child’s ability to cope with tough things. It’s like making macand-cheese; you need both of those parts to equal support.” The program was being developed at Yale before the pandemic started, but it has gained national attention through the distinction of involving parents and its success in treating childhood anxiety.

Kristin Weber decrease the accommodations they are making to their child’s symptoms,” she said. “Instead of accommodating the anxiety, parents learn to validate the child’s emotions and offer a vote of confidence in

As with any diagnosed illnesses, early intervention is key as is encouraging parents who are working through it. “Parents come in feeling incredibly overwhelmed, so the goal and hope of treatment is to have them leave feeling empowered with tools and the confidence that they can help their child overcome their anxiety and successfully cope with difficult behaviors and emotions that arise while reducing

the accommodations they have been making,” she said. “A key component of SPACE focuses on changes parents can make to their own behavior; they do not need to make their child change. I think that concept is important because often parents are frustrated and tired trying to make their child feel less anxious, and it can feel empowering to focus on the things they can change, like their own behavior.” Any parents who are concerned that their child may have a mental health disorder is encouraged to talk with a health care provider, school counselor or a therapist. Parents who notice they are spending a good amount of time trying to keep a child from becoming stressed or anxious may benefit from the SPACE program.

To find a list of SPACE-trained providers, visit https://www.spacetreatment.net/space-providers.

On the Minds of Moms • April | May 2022 | 31

GOOD FOOD 32 | On the Minds of Moms • April | May 2022

Skip the takeout

and do Taco Tuesday at home BY JESSICA RERICK

ur days can get pretty busy, but I always have time for Taco Tuesday in our house, no matter what day it is. My go-to Crockpot Ranch Chicken Tacos take five minutes and three ingredients in the morning, and I get to come home to dinner being nearly ready to go. Seriously, we can’t get enough of them! My youngest even owns several shirts proclaiming his love for tacos, and he is always asking if he

can invite his neighborhood friends for dinner when he knows tacos are on the menu! He gets it from his mama. This is a perfect recipe to double for larger crowds or for future meal prep, and the extra freezes great too. I use this meat for everything: tacos, quesadillas, nachos, salads, or soup. I don’t know what we like best, but what I do know is this entire crockpot of meat was gone in the blink of an eye!

Slow Cooker Ranch Chicken Tacos Ingredients:

Directions:

3 pounds chicken breasts

Place the chicken in a crockpot. Add water and seasonings. Cook on low for 6 hours. Using two forks, shred the chicken. Stir until all the shredded chicken is evenly coated in the taco seasoning.

1 cup water 2 envelopes taco seasoning 3 tablespoons ranch dressing powder mix Slow Cooker Ranch Chicken Tacos require only four ingredients but a ton of crowdpleasing flavor. Jessica Rerick On the Minds of Moms

Serves 10 (about 20 tacos)

To go with the tacos, I like to serve a side of beans, not only because I was raised by a bean farmer, but also because of the additional protein, fiber, and other nutrients they bring to the table. Beans play an important part in our diet. I find that cooking them in the Instant Pot is much more economical than opening cans all of the time, and convenience is often a large part of my decision-making process. Often, if I know there will be a taco night during the week, I will prep my beans ahead of time (usually on Sunday) so I can just reheat them at dinner time. On the Minds of Moms • April | May 2022 | 33

GOOD FOOD

Instant Pot Black Beans Ingredients: 3 cups black beans, rinsed and picked through for stones 6 cups water

2 teaspoons cumin 1 teaspoon dried oregano Salt, lime, cilantro for seasoning

1 teaspoon smoked paprika Directions: Place the beans, water, and seasonings in the Instant Pot. Set pressure cooker to cook on high for 35 minutes and then let the beans rest for 20 minutes after cooking to let the steam release naturally. Once the pressure is released, carefully remove the lid. The beans will be tender and cooked through. If they are not, you can seal the lid again and cook for an additional 5-10 minutes. Season the beans with salt, lime juice, and cilantro if desired.

Another one of our favorite sides is Cilantro Lime Rice. We love the fresh flavor that it brings to the plate, and it pairs nicely with the black beans on top in addition to the cumin and chili flavors of the tacos. Rice is usually a favorite item with the kids, and something about this combination gets them running to the table. I like to think that it’s the brightness of the lime and cilantro, but it could also be that it’s white rice. While this recipe is made for the Instant Pot, you can certainly make this rice on the stove and just add the lime, salt, garlic, and cilantro once it’s done cooking.

Instant Pot Cilantro Lime Rice Ingredients: 1 cup white rice

Cilantro Lime Rice is a bright, flavorful side to go with the tacos and beans. TOP: Making beans in an Instant Pot is fast and inexpensive. Photos by Jessica Rerick / On the Minds of Moms

1 1/4 cups water or vegetable stock

1/2 teaspoon garlic powder (or 1 clove fresh chopped garlic)

1 teaspoon kosher salt

Zest from one lime (optional)

1/3 cup lime juice

1/4 cup cilantro, fresh chopped

Directions: Place your rice, water, and salt into your pressure cooker. Seal the lid and cook on manual high pressure for 7 minutes. While the rice is cooking, whisk together the lime juice and garlic powder. When the time is up, use the quick release method to release the pressure. Carefully remove the lid and add in the lime juice. Serves 4 to 6

34 | On the Minds of Moms • April | May 2022

You can use leftover Slow Cooker Ranch Chicken in a black bean soup. Jessica Rerick / On the Minds of Moms

Later in the week or on a busy weekend, you can use your leftover chicken to make Black Bean Chicken Tortilla Soup. This isn’t the usual cheesy kind, but more of a traditional version with a slightly spicy broth.

It’s loaded with chicken, black beans, sweet corn, and tomatoes. In traditional fashion, the soup contains corn tortilla strips in the broth. It may seem odd to some, but trust me: you can’t have traditional tortilla soup

without tortillas. They dissolve right into the broth, give it a wonderful sweet taste, and help to thicken the broth. If you would like to make this soup vegetarian, sub out the chicken for 2 more cups of cooked pinto beans.

Chicken Black Bean Tortilla Soup Ingredients: 2 tablespoons olive oil

1.5 tablespoon chili powder

3 cups cooked black beans

1 large yellow onion, diced

1.5 tablespoons ground cumin

3 bell peppers, diced, any color

1 teaspoon smoked paprika

2 cups cooked, shredded or diced chicken

2 tablespoons garlic

2 quarts chicken or vegetable broth

1 tablespoon dried oregano

28 ounces fire-roasted diced tomatoes

1 tablespoon paprika

1 can (10 oz.) sweet corn, drained

10 corn tortillas, cut in half and then into small strips Juice of 1 lime 2 teaspoon kosher salt, or to taste

Directions: In a large dutch oven or other heavy-bottomed pot, heat the oil over medium heat. Add onions, pepper, and garlic. Cook, stirring occasionally, for 10 minutes or until onions and peppers are soft. Add spices, broth, tomatoes, corn, beans, chicken, and tortilla strips. Bring to a boil, reduce heat to low, and simmer, covered, for 30 minutes. Stir

occasionally to encourage the tortilla strips to dissolve. Taste the soup and season with salt as desired. If the soup seems too thick, add more water or broth. Serve with crispy tortilla strips, crushed chips, cheese, sour cream or plain greek yogurt, cilantro, and lime wedges. On the Minds of Moms • April | May 2022 | 35

RAD DAD Patrick Kirby Enjoying life’s lessons in fundraising and parenting BY MELISSA DAVIDSON “Enthusiastic!” That’s the one word Patrick Kirby – dedicated dad, husband and founder of Do Good Better consulting – used to describe himself. And no one who has been around Patrick for even a few minutes is surprised by that word choice. In fact, that one word explains a lot. It not only takes a lot of enthusiasm to be a professional fundraiser, it also takes a lot of enthusiasm to do it well and turn it into a viable business on top of being a speaker, coach, podcaster, dad and husband. Lots of enthusiasm! From organizing $10,000 cure walks to $1 million galas, Patrick has a passion for using his creativity to make fundraising exciting, which is why he made it his full-time gig. “I sought to create a business that helps the ‘accidental fundraiser’,” he said. “You know, the person who gets a job at a nonprofit for marketing or for their programming and services, but ends up having to fundraise with zero experience and now unreasonable expectations to find money.” 36 | On the Minds of Moms • April | May 2022

Whether (my kids) start their own business or use their creativity for a side hustle someday, perhaps they can look back on this adventure in entrepreneurship as a framework for themselves. PATRICK KIRBY

While terrified to quit his job and dive headfirst into solo fundraising consulting, he also found it exhilarating and, with the support of his family, successful. “My wife, Shannon, challenges me on decisions, supports me when the going gets tough, and knows this whole adventure is right in my wheelhouse. I can’t get a better

foundation of support than that,” he said. The couple has three children — Spencer, Preston and Willow — whom Patrick hopes will learn how to carve their own path in life from watching dad. “Whether they start their own business or use their creativity for a

Patrick Kirby is the founder of Do Good Better Consulting and a father of three kids. Special to On the Minds of Moms On the Minds of Moms • April | May 2022 | 37

This photo perfectly encapsulates life in the Kirby household, which includes dad Patrick, mom Shannon, and kids Spencer, Preston and Willow. Special to On the Minds of Moms

side hustle someday, perhaps they can look back on this adventure in entrepreneurship as a framework for themselves,” he said. Here’s more about Patrick and life as a dad, husband and entrepreneur. What are your proudest dad moments? As a lifelong Minnesota Vikings fan, I’m most proud of the lessons I can give my children in regard to sticking with cheering for this abomination of a team. My wife and I have a mixed marriage—she is a loyal Green Bay Packers fan—and I have had the best time letting our kids know that cheering for Minnesota sports teams is an exercise in learning about life, such as: 1.

How to get used to disappointment.

How to deal with expectations that are too high.

How to cope with loss and tragedy.

How to prepare for inevitable failure.

How to laugh instead of cry.

Those are the types of lessons our kids can give their kids someday unless they become Packer fans, of course. 38 | On the Minds of Moms • April | May 2022

What does family fun time look like for you guys? If I gave an answer that didn’t include playing video games, my family would call me out as a liar. Because family Mario Party is the best kind of party. However, when we’re not hunched over a table doing odd crafts or playing board games, we do a ton of baking and cooking together. What do your kiddos think of what dad does for a living? One of my kids was asked by his teacher what their parents do for a living, and they gave the best answer: “My dad made up his own job, and now he does that for a living.” That made me laugh and was pretty insightful too! What’s your favorite dad joke? My favorite dad joke was told to me by my oldest kiddo: “Why don’t you see elephants in trees? Because they are really good at hiding!” I’m not sure I’ve laughed so hard at something so stupid in a long time. Are there any parallels between parenting and fundraising? Good Lord, they are identical. You need to have patience, be

enthusiastic about menial tasks for long-term positive results, and have a great sense of humor about things that otherwise would make you weep with frustration. There’s also an incredible sense of finding joy in the small things, or little wins that keep the crazy day-to-day grind at bay. Tell us about your first Do Good Better event. I hosted an Elevator Pitch Training as my first event, and there were a dozen people who showed up, including folks I didn’t even know! My slide deck was hideous. I had to beg folks to come and was flying by the seat of my pants, but I did it! That’s when I realized the only way I was going to be able to position myself as the expert in fundraising training and consulting was to do fundraising training and consulting. What do you find to be the most rewarding part of your job? The “ah-ha” moment clients have when something makes sense for the first time, when they realize they can accomplish a fundraising goal, or when they get that first big gift they cultivated on their own. That’s the entrepreneurial drug that keeps me stoked to go to work every day.

On the Minds of Moms • April | May 2022 | 39

Mark and Andi Olsonawski are pictured with their four children as well as their newborn niece. The photo was taken in September 2019 and was the last picture taken of their family before Andi passed away in June 2020. Special to On the Minds of Moms

Honoring Andi Mark Olsonawski family sponsors Down Home’s 100th family move-in BY DANIELLE TEIGEN

hen local nonprofit Down Home welcomed the 100th family in March, the occasion was met with many emotions for everyone involved.

Excitement, because the sponsor of move-in was the Mark Olsonawski family, which includes Mark, his four children, his parents and his parents-in-law.

Joy, because the organization was helping another family along on its journey from homelessness to independence.

Sadness, because a very important member of the Olsonawski family – wife and mother Andi – wasn’t able to be there after losing

40 | On the Minds of Moms • April | May 2022

HONORING ANDI

So many people think you have to be something or do something big to have impact, but Andi’s story and Down Home’s story show that wherever you’re planted, be a great example…you can be a difference maker. MARK OLSONAWSKI

her battle to cancer nearly two years ago. Awe, because everyone involved said they cannot believe all the ways God brought them all together in such a special way. * * * That range of emotions has been ever present for the Olsonawski family since Andi found out in September 2015 that she had stage 4 brain cancer. It was a devastating blow for the college track star, yet Andi refused to let the diagnosis shake her faith or alter her positive personality. The phrase “Do your best and let God do the rest” became her life’s motto, and those words – Andi’s words – continue to inspire the people she knew and loved. Mark and Andi knew Down Home founders Jenessa Fillipi and her husband Jake for years because they’d all grown up in the same area along Highway 75 in Minnesota. After Jenessa and Jake started Down Home in 2017, Andi volunteered despite her diagnosis. Charlene Kuznia, co-founder and part-time operations director at Down Home and Jenessa’s mom, remembered what a treasure Andi was as a volunteer. “We were just overwhelmed by her kindness,” she said. After Andi passed, Mark had a distinct feeling that God was nudging him toward something more

impactful with Down Home. “His plan is so much greater than we realize,” Mark shared. “I was hanging out at Jenessa and Jake’s and asked what it took to sponsor a move in. Then I left and prayed on it. I just felt like the good Lord was saying, ‘You need to do this’.” He reached out to Jenessa and they began discussing the logistics, including the date of moving the new family in. Mark chose March 15, because he proposed to Andi on that day back in 2001. “It was just meant to be,” Jenessa shared. “The Lord made it evident that they were meant to honor Andi and reflect her beautiful kindness on that day.”

Mark and Andi’s children – Noel, 17; Aaron, 15; Ryan, 14; and Kate, 10 – helped with the event as well as Mark’s parents, Andi’s mother and brother as well as other special guests. Before the move-in, Mark shared that he expects the emotional impact of the day might not sink in for his kids right away, but he’s confident they will learn important lessons from it, just as they did from the journey they went through with their mother. “Having the ability to be thankful and grateful for what you’ve been given even if there are trials and tribulations will strengthen you and make you a better human being,”

The Mark Olsonawski family, which includes his and Andi’s four kids, Noel, Aaron, Ryan and Kate, Mark’s parents, Andi’s mom and Andi’s brother, are joined by the Down Home family who volunteered to help prepare the home for its owners, who are seated on the couch in the center of the photo. Photo courtesy of Sarah Miller, Frozen Moments Photography On the Minds of Moms • April | May 2022 | 41

HONORING ANDI

Andi and Jenessa were both featured in the April/May 2018 issue of OTMOM. he shared. “We’ve grown through that journey by leaning on God and moving forward by Andi’s example.” Back in 2018, On the Minds of Moms shared Andi’s incredible story. At the time, Andi’s cancer was stable but the importance of her journey was not lost on her. “I just knew that God put me in that position to be an example, an example of overcoming, of having a good attitude throughout this whole process, not giving up, still being a bright light of good,” she said in the article. Two years later, Andi died, but her love continues to be felt by everyone who knew her, and it was very present as her family

Larry Kuznia and Andi Olsonawski pose at Down Home’s first Open House in April 2018. Despite her cancer diagnosis, Andi volunteered with the organization as much as she was able to. Photo courtesy of Down Home

welcomed another family to their new home on March 15. “This is a beautiful story of how God has his hand in all of our lives; He’s the one connecting the dots,” Mark explained. “So many people think you have to be something or do something big to have impact, but Andi’s story and Down Home’s story show that wherever you’re planted, be a great example…you can be a difference maker.”

Jenessa echoed those thoughts. “Andi was truly the most humble and stunning woman; every conversation with her was uplifting,” she shared. “When I think about what we at Down Home strive for and who we are, that’s who she was. We are so humbled and honored to serve our 100th family in honor of who Andi was and what she did. She really lived, ‘Do your best and let God do the rest’.”

More about Down Home Down Home seeks to turn the four walls of a house into a furnished, comfortable home for a family emerging from homelessness. The process involves: • Getting referrals from partner agencies

• Transforming an empty house into a home

• Meeting and visiting with the family in their current space

• Revealing the transformed home to the family

• Coordinating items, a moving van and volunteers

• Following up for additional support

Sponsors of a move-in provide financial support for the move-in process and help transform the space into a home. The sponsor also gets to help reveal the home to the family and become part of the Down Home family. Learn more about Down Home and how you can help at https://www.down-home.org/donate.

42 | On the Minds of Moms • April | May 2022

Preschool Playdate Thursdays at 10:30 a.m. (April 7 & 14) Fargo Basketball Academy Little Leapers at Skyzone Thursdays & Saturdays 9 to 11 a.m. SkyZone

Fargo All Stars Open Gym Sundays & Wednesdays from 7 to 8:30 p.m. and Thursdays 8:45 to 9:45 a.m. Fargo All Stars ND Elite Cheer & Dance Open Gym Sundays & Wednesdays from 7 to 9 p.m. ND Elite Cheer & Dance

APRIL EVENTS

visit https://fargo.momcollective.com/ summer-camps-in-fargo/ for the full guide

Butterfly Ball (again April 2) 6:30 p.m. | Avalon Events Center

Navigating Grief & Self-care for Yourself & Others 11:30 a.m. to 1 p.m. Online class. Please register at www.bit.ly/griefclassregistration, or call (800) 237-4629.

Parents Forever (Online class) Noon to 1 p.m. (continues through April 22) Family transition program dealing with divorce or separation. Cost is $55. To register, email jacey.p.wanner@ndsu.edu or call 701-667-3342.

El Zagal Shrine Circus 7 p.m. (again April 2 at 10 a.m., 2 p.m. and 6 p.m.; Sunday at noon and 4 p.m.) Fargodome | Doors open 1 hour prior to performances

2 Kid Quest: Let Your Art Grow! 1 p.m. | Plains Art Museum

3 Easter Bunny Fly On 9:30 a.m. to 1 p.m. | Fargo Air Museum

5 Active Parenting: First Five Years (Online class) 1 to 3 p.m. through April 26 To register, email chelsea.hammond @ndsu.edu or call 701-780-8229.

8 National Zoo Day 4 to 6 p.m. | Broadway Square Junkin Market Days 4 to 8 p.m. (agian April 9 from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m.) | RRV Fairgrounds

9 Lalo’s Lunchbox 10 to 11 a.m. | Moorhead Public Library

14 Easter Eggstravaganza 5 to 7 p.m. (again April 15) Fercho YMCA

23 Awesome Art Afternoon 1 to 3 p.m. | RDJ Rec Center World Book Night 2 to 4 p.m. | Broadway Square Gigantic Rummage Sale 7 a.m. to 1 p.m. Veterans Memorial Arena Bloom Event for New & Expecting Moms 8 a.m. to noon | Sanctuary

30 Healthy Kids Days 10 a.m. to noon | Schlossman YMCA

MAY EVENTS 3

Birding for Kids with Audubon Dakota 9 to 11 a.m. | Main Library

Summer Chalk Fest Noon to 2 p.m. | Broadway Square

56560 Rummage Sale 7 a.m. to 1 p.m. Cullen Hockey Center

5 Hands-on Grief Class for Adults (Detroit Lakes, Fargo and East Grand Forks) 11:30 a.m. to 1 p.m. Register online at www.bit.ly/griefclassregistration, or call (800) 237-4629 and ask for the grief support department.

12 BIO Girls Find Your Kind 5K (virtual option available) 5 p.m. (first race) | Scheels Arena

21 National Kids to Parks Days 1 to 4 p.m. | Rheault Farm

Event listing courtesy of

7 PAW Patrol Live! “The Great Pirate Adventure” 10 a.m., 2 p.m. and 6 p.m. (again May 8 at 10 a.m. and 2 p.m.) Fargodome | Doors open 1 hour prior to performances

Social Events

ONGOING EVENTS

For more information about these and many other events, please visit https://fargo.momcollective.com/events/month/2021-12/.

Hosting an event that you would like to have published in the On The Minds of Moms magazine? Email moms@forumcomm.com.

On the Minds of Moms • April | May 2022 | 43

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