Small Wonders

signs & symptoms

To help determine if your child may be struggling with anxiety and may need help to overcome it, ask yourself the following questions:

• Is your anxious child resisting school or other activities, acting panicked or angry if forced to attend?

• Are they withdrawn and requesting to avoid new situations or people?

• Are they crying more, reporting feeling sick and not wanting to leave you?

• Are they obsessing over things such as germs or school work?

• Are you seriously worried about them, how they're doing academically, socially, physically?

• Is there family history of anxiety or other mental health conditions?

Anxiety disorders usually last at least six months and can get worse if they are not treated. They can also occur with other mental or physical illnesses, which may mask anxiety symptoms or make them worse. This is one of the many reasons why it may be beneficial to consult with a professional as soon as possible if your child is struggling.

Treatment

Effective therapies for anxiety disorders are available and research is uncovering new treatments that can help most people with anxiety disorders lead productive, fulfilling lives. Treatment options may include counseling and mediation therapy. If you think your child may have anxiety disorder, seek more information and treatment right away. Early intervention is always important but especially so in children, when significant growth and learning opportunities are occurring every day and may be missed.

Parenting Tips

Parents naturally want to help their children and as a parent, it can be heartbreaking to witness your child suffering in any way and not know how to really help. Here are ways you may be able to assist your child with anxiety issues:

Modeling

• Let your child hear you talk about feelings. Feeling the whole range of emotions at various times and in various situations is normal. Hearing others discuss emotions in a calm matter of fact way can demonstrate to children that they don’t have to be afraid of feelings. help your child handle his/her own feelings

• When appropriate, do your best to present positive or at least neutral descriptions of events and situations.

• Try to avoid passing on your fears to your child by keeping them to yourself if possible and appropriate.

• Assure your child that it can be safe to explore.

• Humor helps people deal with the world, so show your child how to laugh at life's mistakes and absurdities. However, always avoid laughing at or minimizing your child's fear[s].

• Teach your child to answer his/her own questions and provide reassurance by how you think through and respond to your child's questions.

• Take time for yourself even if your child wants to be with you at all times. You are modeling for your child that everyone needs some time to themselves.

• It is okay to let your child experience some anxiety. Your child needs to know that anxiety is not dangerous, but something that can be coped with. Again, let your child know all feelings are okay and it is alright to say what you feel. Anxious children sometimes have a hard time expressing strong emotions like anger or sadness because they fear people will become angry with them.

Work Together As Parents

• Regardless of your relationship, it is important to work with your child’s other parent to have an agreed upon way of handling your child's anxiety that you both feel comfortable with. It is important that one parent not be "too easy" because the other parent "pushes too much." This can be confusing when a child does not know what to count on.

build your child's personal strength let your child do things on his/her own set expectations

• Help build your child's competence by searching and finding opportunities where your child can show he or she is good at something [music, art, sports].

• Help role-play or act out possible ways your child could handle a difficult situation. Saying it out loud makes kids more confident and more likely to try the strategy when they are alone. Talk about how pretending we are brave can help us act brave and can lead to us really feeling brave.

• Praise your child for facing challenges, trying something new or demonstrating a brave behavior. Some children like big loud exuberant praises, others like a quiet pat on the back.

• While it is very tempting, it usually is not best to take over and do things for your child. You may think you are helping your child feel better in the moment, but the message your child gets is that you don't believe they can do it themselves. This can reinforce your child thinking the same way about him or herself.

• Be sure your child has chores around the house that show your child is contributing to the family.

• While it is important to have similar expectations of your anxious child that you would of another child [to go to birthday parties, make decisions, etc.], understand that the pace will need to be much slower and there is a process needed to meet this goal. Help your child break down big tasks into smaller steps that your child can accomplish [first go to the party with your child and agree to stay as long as your child is interacting with others, next time stay for the first half hour and so forth]. source: National Institute of Mental Health

• Reassurance is important, but try not to get caught continually reassuring your child that everything will be okay. Sometimes it isn’t.

• Don't confuse anxiety with other types of inappropriate behavior. Set reasonable expectations and limits and appropriate consequences for inappropriate behavior.

Parents who have reasonable expectations of their children and clear and consistent limits and consequences for behavior, along with love and acceptance are doing what can have some of the most significant implications for raising competent, self-confident happy and healthy children. And isn’t that what we all want?

Help is available. For more information, visit with your family healthcare provider, school counselor or go to www.prairie-stjohns.com.

story by | otmom

Domestic and sexual violence are perhaps the most misunderstood public health issues of our time. The costs are high, but also preventable. This Fall you can take an active role working to prevent personal violence in our community by participating in the It’s Everyone’s Business: Summit to Prevent Domestic and Sexual Violence.

where did the idea for the summit come from?

The event itself is modeled after a summit held in Minnesota in 2009. Locally, it started in 2011 with the launch of the It’s Everyone’s Business campaign. Through the support of the Fargo Police Department, Prairie St. John’s and the Rape and Abuse Crisis Center, a series of public service announcements were developed with the purpose of bringing personal violence out from behind closed doors and help everyone realize and accept that each of us plays a role in ending personal violence. The summit is the next step in working toward preventing personal violence in our community.

is our community really impacted by personal violence?

YES! Did you know…

• The results of a 2010 survey by the Centers for Disease Control indicate that 452,000 women in

Minnesota and 48,000 women in North Dakota are survivors of rape. The survey also identifies that 982,000 Minnesota women, 442,000 Minnesota men, and 77,000 North Dakota women are victims of sexual violence [other than rape].

• Sexual, physical and psychological violence cause as much illness and death among women aged 15–44 as cancer.

• The Rape and Abuse Crisis Center had a total caseload of 2,911 in 2011 [2,408 adults, 503 children].

• Child sexual abuse and exploitation are more common than teen pregnancy, childhood obesity or pediatric cancer.

• Nearly one-in-four women and one-in-seven men have been sexually assaulted in their lifetime.

• Experiencing abuse leads to as much as a 2.5 fold increase in health care utilization in adults who have been victimized at some time in their lives, resulting in increased healthcare expenditures of up to $750 billion annually or 37.5% of all healthcare costs.

• In 2011 there were 2,355 court hearings related to domestic violence and sexual assault in Clay and Cass County.

• Sexual violence costs 3.3 times as much as alcoholimpaired driving in Minnesota.

• In more than 70% of pornographic images reviewed by the National Center for Missing and Exploited

Children, the children are sexually abused and further exploited by someone they know and trust.

• Sexual violence cost Minnesota $162 million dollar in lost work in 2005.

With local and national statistics like these it’s easy to understand how we can all be affected. It could be your neighbor, your employee, your friend, your child’s teacher, your babysitter…your child. Yes, it is everyone’s business and by attending this summit you have the opportunity to be the change our community needs.

what can i expect from this summit?

You will be a part of a think tank for local and state leaders from government, industry, academia, media, philanthropy, faith and non-profit issue experts to come together to identify and discuss effective prevention practices and strategies for our community. You will be a part of a multi-media experience incorporating information sharing, artistic expression and discussion. Learn about the magnitude of the problem and environmental factors that influence intimate partner and sexual violence right here in our community. You will have an opportunity to become a prevention champion.

can i really make a difference & prevent personal violence?

Primary prevention addresses the root causes of intimate partner and sexual violence and seeks to stop violence before it occurs. Beliefs, attitudes and messages that are deeply embedded in our social structures help create a climate that condones sexual violence and intimate partner violence. We can change the odds by countering these environmental factors and social norms that support unhealthy behaviors. Minnesotans and North Dakotans have already successfully changed social norms about smoking, infant car seat use and recycling. There is no reason why we can’t be a part of the movement that implement prevention approaches, ensure appropriate responses and support efforts based on data and research.

when, where & how do i sign up?

It’s Everyone’s Business: Summit to Prevent Domestic and Sexual Violence will be held Tuesday, September 18, 2012 at the Ramada Plaza Suites from 8am to 4:30pm. This is a free event, but space is limited and registration is required online at www.raccfm.com. This is a truly unique opportunity to spearhead change right here in our community…don’t miss it!