august ∙ september twenty fourteen
the valley’s modern resource for today’s parent
www.onthemindsofmoms.com
Real food for healthy kids
Kid Friendly Ranch Hummus • 1 (15 oz.) can Essential Everyday Garbanzo Beans, rinsed and drained • 1 cup Fat Free Cottage Cheese • 1/4 cup Essential Everyday Fat Free Plain Yogurt
• 1 (1 oz.) packet Essential Everyday Dry Ranch Dip Mix • 1 tbsp fresh squeezed lemon juice • 1 tbsp Essential Everyday 100% Pure Olive Oil • 1 tsp chopped garlic
Directions: Combine all ingredients in a food processor or blender. Purée until mixture is smooth and slightly fluffy, scraping sides. Transfer to storage container. Refrigerate, covered, several hours or overnight. Serve with veggies, pita bread or pita chips.
New Pediatric Neurology Services Essentia Health is happy to be working in conjunction with Mayo Clinic Pediatric Neurology to offer services to the region. Bringing these services close to home ensures our pediatric patients and their family receive the best care with the most convenience. Pediatric neurology deals with the diagnosis and treatment of brain, spinal cord, nerve, and muscle conditions in children. Combining nervous system expertise and a concentrated understanding of specific health concerns, the Mayo Clinic pediatric neurologists will regularly work with the local Essentia Health neurology and family healthcare teams to provide comprehensive care and manage neurological conditions. Appointments are now available at Essentia Health-32nd Ave for the following pediatric neurology services: ■
Diagnosis, treatment and management of brain, nerve and muscle issues
■
Acute and chronic care for neurological disorders
■
Concussion and head injury treatment
■
Muscular Dystrophy diagnosis and care
■
ADHD diagnosis and care
■
Pediatric Epilepsy diagnosis and care
To schedule an appointment for Pediatric Neurology, call 701.364.8900. EssentiaHealth.org
contents
in every issue contributors .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10
otmom list . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12 event calendar . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22 shutterbug
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 34
food for thought
. . . . . . . . . . . . . 50
oh, by the way . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 80
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contents
feature & profiles mod mom profile tara olson . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14
mompreneur dr. carrie summerfield west fargo animal hospital . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30
rad dad profile dan deutsch . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 46
cover story heidi odegaard—giving hope . . . . . . . . . . . 62
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contents
sections what’s on your mind?
gettin' through it
mondays . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .18
will you? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 42
shop talk
where are they now
to tune up or wing it…that is the question . . . . 28
kelli medders—a journey to be . . . . . . . . . . 52
body + being
did you know
thyroid—get to know your gland . . . . . . . . . 36
work, breastfeeding & your rights . . . . . . . . 56
resources
just a thought
find help, get advice, make a difference. . . . . . 40
freedom to play . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 58
ready, set, grow healthy, happy body image . . . . . . . . . . . . . 72
30
52
34
contents
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moms
on the minds of
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OTMOM MISSION STATEMENT On The Minds Of Moms Magazine is dedicated to providing parents of all ages a bimonthly resource they can trust. A fresh approach to traditional parenting publications, we are modern and inspiring while offering a community of local support and real-life advice for today’s family. On The Minds Of Moms contains views from across the parenting spectrum. These views do not necessarily reflect those of the publisher. All activities listed in these pages are at your own risk and require appropriate supervision. OTMOM is a publication available at all Fargo-Moorhead Hornbacher's, Sunmart, and Grand Forks–East Grand Forks Hugo's grocery store locations. Distribution also includes all partnering advertisers. Copyright 2014 All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission from the publisher. On The Minds Of Moms is a trademark registered at the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office.
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on the minds of moms | august • september twenty fourteen
NORTH DAKOTA FARMERS care about our environment
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contributors
gifting goodness
what personal quality of yours do you hope your kid[s] will adopt?
krista andrews fargo | nd gettin’ through it: page 42 I hope my daughter adopts my generosity. I hope that she is always willing to give her time, talents, resources, and heart to others.
stephannie stiel fargo | nd did you know: page 56 I strive to be empathetic and generous. I hope that my children look at the world and the situation at hand through others’ perspectives and that they utilize this trait to help those in need [enter generosity]. A little altruism sprinkled in here and there couldn’t hurt.
deb uglem moorhead | mn oh, by the way: page 80 Be a gamer [and I don’t mean video games]. I hope my kids engage in life. I am always up for a good time and I want them to enjoy new experiences, people, and have the most fun they can.
kathleen wrigley bismarck | nd just a thought: page 58 This was a difficult question to answer. Many years ago—before kids—Drew and I were asked, “If you could only pick one thing for how you want your future child to turn out, what would it be?” With little deliberation or pause, we agreed on kindness and empathy. But if I have to turn this question inward, and answer in the way you’re asking, I would have to say “resolve” or “purpose.” Of course we want them to be kind along the way, but time and experience gift us with perspective. I want our kiddos to accept that they don’t get to choose the beginning chapter--or even sometimes the end chapter—of their lives. But they certainly have power and resolve to write the middle chapters. I wish for them to expect to learn and to be humbled by the bad experiences, and to be grateful and strengthened by the good times. Each one matters. And they define who we are. Live a large life with purpose and resolve.
melissa schaff fargo | nd what’s on your mind: page 18 I hope my daughter gets my gift of intuitively understanding why someone behaved the way they did. This quality often allows me to step into another person’s emotional shoes and understand what triggered their hurtful, demeaning, or attacking response. By reacting to their pain with compassion instead of anger, it may help them heal.
patricia carlson dilworth | mn ready, set, grow: page 72 body + being: page 36 Drive. Ambition. Determination. Whatever you want to call it, my wish for my children is that they have an inner motivation to accomplish/become/ learn whatever they choose. I've always possessed this intrinsic drive and I want them to inherit it. I also hope that they see how devoted I am to my friendships and they, too, want to treat their friendships with reverence and love.
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on the minds of moms | august • september twenty fourteen
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august • september twenty fourteen | on the minds of moms
13
B
orn and raised in Morris, MN, Tara is the youngest in a blended family of six children, with two older sisters and three older brothers. As a graduate of Minnesota State University, Moorhead, Tara has been passionate about
design, company branding, and event promotion as she has made a career in the marketing arena. Seven years ago she fell in love with a man who opened her eyes to a life outside the city. Before that Tara never imagined she’d one day live on a farm, spend two hours a day on the road, and know more about agriculture than she does her own career as an Account Manager at Flint Group in Fargo. But that’s what true love will do to a person and she couldn’t be more grateful for this beautiful little life she shares with Kyle, husband of five years, and their two daughters, Eva [3 ½], and Nora [15 months]. When not commuting for work or being mommy, Tara loves testing her photography skills, improving her golf game, going to country music concerts, and frequenting hip junk sales. It’s a contented and blessed life she wouldn’t trade for anything.
photos: rialee photography | ria czichotzki
mod mom tara olson
mod mom
age 36, leonard.nd
i would like to become better at…
my mom was right about…
meal planning.
absolutely everything.
nothing clears my head like…
i can always count on a good laugh…
alone time in the car.
when I’m with my friends. There’s no better sounding board than a friend who is going through similar ups and downs in life.
five things i can’t live without… excluding God, family, and friends, I’d say water, lip balm, my camera, moisturizer, and chocolate.
best pinch-myself moment… the first time I saw my girls laughing and playing together. There they were…two little girls building a lifelong friendship. A moment they didn’t need me because they had each other.
i have always wondered… what life will be like with teenage girls. I’m already worried!
the phrase i say most… right now it’s, “Yuck Nora, don’t eat that!” Everything goes into that little mouth.
favorite everyday moment… mornings with my family. As hectic as it can be getting out the door, it’s always a fresh start to a new day and I love that feeling. www.onthemindsofmoms.com
if i could single-handedly change anything, it would be… for child neglect and abuse to not exist. What awful, senseless acts.
i have a great passion for… decorating. If I could go back to school, I’d choose interior design. Since Pinterest is like the Bible for remodeling and decorating, I spend a lot of free time drumming up ideas on that site. august • september twenty fourteen | on the minds of moms
15
mod mom my best advice to my younger self…
i thrive on…
just live life to its fullest and enjoy the impromptu happy hours because one day they will require a two-week notice to attend.
being present for my family. Quality time and lots of laughter. Conversations in the car or at bedtime have become invaluable.
the person who has had the greatest influence on me…
the greatest thrill i’ve experienced…
my Mom. She is the definition of Christianity.
nothing can compare to the thrill of bringing new life into this world.
the best reason to be late…
i’m totally in awe of my husband when…
I’d probably say my commute time – I get the most sympathy for that one.
he walks through the door and our house erupts with “DADDY!” and “DADA!” He is such a good dad. He can calm a tantrum and rock a baby to sleep better than anyone. He can also sport a tiara in the most endearing way.
i want my daughters to one day experience… becoming a mom. I don’t think a person truly understands the magnitude of a parent’s love until they become a parent themselves.
one thing of mine my husband would love to throw out…
www.onthemindsofmoms.com
any of my junk purchases.
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on the minds of moms | august • september twenty fourteen
i’m pretty good at… organizing. Post-it notes, lists, and calendars are prominent in our home.
liberate your legs A
s a busy mom you are no stranger to the added activities summer brings. Summertime in this part of the country doesn’t last long enough, so it needs to be enjoyed to the fullest. You have pool parties, trips to the lake, baseball games, and barbeques to plan for you and your family.
But there’s one problem. Your legs are holding you back. Your varicose veins may have dictated the first part of your summer, but there’s still time to regain control before the first flake falls. More than half of all men and women in the United States have varicose veins, so you are not alone in
Do you have varicose veins? Common symptoms include:
• Fatigue • Leg heaviness • Burning • Throbbing
• Aching • Itching • Cramping • Restlessness
your struggle. From tiny spider veins to bulging cords that run the length of the leg, this condition can be unsightly, embarrassing, and sometimes quite painful. And if left untreated varicose veins can lead to problems that extend beyond a cosmetic issue. You are at risk to develop skin ulcers, vein inflammation, and blood clots. But you don’t have to suffer needlessly. Not when help is so accessible. With a broad range of convenient treatment options available at Sanford Vascular Center, our team of vein specialists can help you love your legs before the summer’s end. We understand how debilitating varicose veins can be, and you deserve to look and feel your best in all seasons. It’s not too late to find relief this summer. Call 701.234.4800 to see a specialist at Sanford Vascular Center.
what’s on your mind?
monday story by | melissa schaff
As my two-year-old daughter lay sleeping, I was thrilled to be able use the potty ALONE. It’s a total luxury and one that doesn’t often happen [right, moms?!]. Most of the time my daughter is chasing me as fast as her little legs will allow. Sometimes I’m quicker and get to the bathroom in time to shut the door without my shadow. But let’s face it: it’s really just a bluff because I know I’m going to open the door. If I don’t, she throws herself against it, pummels it with her open hands, and wails, “Momma! Mommyyyyyyy!”
www.onthemindsofmoms.com
If I still insist on punishing myself and compromising my future hearing, my Tasmanian devil will fall to the ground [dramahhhhh] and start kicking the door. The truth be told, I can’t get ANY business done with all that business going on. Letting her in does not end my pain. Oh no. In fact, a whole new world of hurt has just been unleashed. Once my little learning sponge is inside the bathroom, SHE shuts the door [gee, thanks honey], smiles [help me], and toddles confidently towards me [dry- mouth gulp]. She’ll smile, look at me, and say, “See?” meaning she wants to SEE what I’m doing on the toidy! I blame her dad for that. He does his business standing up and she loves to watch the, uh, okay, what the hell, 18
on the minds of moms | august • september twenty fourteen
stream go into the toilet. In fact, there have been several times where he hasn’t been quick enough or is off in LaLa land and she’s put her hand IN his urine stream. She giggles. He does not. So she’s sizing me up and wants to ‘see’ what I’m going. She actually is trying to pry my legs apart. “No” is not a deterrent, it’s simply a tactic changer for her and she barely misses a beat. She sidles to the side of the toilet and touches my bum with her cold fingers. When I don’t react [inside I’m TOTALLY SCREAMING!], she tries to shut the toilet lid on my back. Now, pardon me. While I try not to flinch I am holding my breath waiting for the next onslaught. I don’t have to wait long. “Poop? Poooop?” Truly, it’s only the sweetest, clearest, purest voice that can make the word ‘poop’ sound like the finest-crafted bell, but she does it. Every time she utters, ‘pooOOOP?’ whether it’s to me, her doll, or her favorite stuffed animal [of the week], I smile. And I was going to be one of those parents who never taught her child that word. I hate that word. I wanted to teach her ‘ish’ as it was called in my family but my husband busted a gut laughing every time I used it. So the somehow more humane ‘ish’ is replaced by the baser ‘poop’ in our house. Now, in my defense, I try to say ‘pooH’ but really, potayto, potahto.
what’s on your mind? It’s about this time she hands me 17 feet of toilet paper. I take the toilet paper and say, “Thank you, honey.” That seems to appease her and she briefly looks the other way. I think, “OMG! It’s my opportunity! HURRY!!! Do it NOW!” Not to go potty. No, my friends, that ship has sailed, but to pull up my pants AND shut the toilet lid. I’m never quick enough. Oh, dear Lord, I’m never quick enough. The little stinker just knows. The slightest forward movement from me has her quickly returning to the toilet [but it’s not like she was ever really away from it, either]. “POOOOP? POOOOP?!!” she excitedly says while she gazes into the nearly empty toilet bowl. “I-yucky,” she’ll say, even if there is nothing in the bowl. Sorry to disappoint you, lil’ missy, but momma can’t do her business if she’s permanently kegeling. If her attempt to touch the used toilet paper fails [and it does, I’m SO on to her, but GADS she is FAST], she’ll slam the toilet lid down and attempt to flush the toilet [“momma do it”]. Once flushed [“momma did it”], she’ll lift up the entire toilet seat, peer inside, say, “I-yucky,” and let the seat slam shut once more.
I digress. As any parent knows, it’s easy to get caught up talking about pooh. Right?! So let me continue with the rest of my story. After feeling jubilant by my success at using the toidy without a child glommed onto my side, I decide to tempt fate [suckaahhh!] and try a shower. I no sooner enter the warm shower than I hear the pitter-patter of little feet and, “Yo go? “Yo GO?” I, behind the shower curtain, sweetly say, “Yes, honey. You can have some yogurt. Wait for mommy to get out of the shower.” What a colossal waste of my breath. I barely start this sentence when the shower curtain [liner and all] is whipped back, exposing me to a blast of cold air. The sleepy, big blue-eyed blond with morning Nick Nolte [think mug shot] hair smiles at me. Sigh. Time for a power shower. In the 68 seconds it took me to shower, she had removed all the contents from the bathroom cupboards, including a newly opened box of 500 Q-tips (!!!!) and scattered them around the bathroom floor. She unwound the toilet paper, checked the toilet for ‘I-yuckies’ and had put on my um, well, an article of clothing that is often stolen in college dorm raids. Get it?
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what’s on your mind? I try to do my ‘after-shower’ routine which includes, but is not limited to, putting on lotion, deodorant, brushing my teeth, and combing my hair. Lavish, I know. Today I was going for broke by trying to squirt some toner on a cotton ball and applying it to my face. Sadly, though, by this time she is squealing in delight and pointing at my naked bum. Oh boy. She’s saying, “Poop? Poop?” Yes, honey, that’s where we go potty. More squeals followed by a pointed finger that gets a little bit too close to my hiney for this mommy’s liking. Meanwhile, she’s smiling and giddily prancing around like she’s a pretty, pretty pony. But the fun doesn’t stop there. Now it’s time for a ‘girl’ show. She is fascinated with my little B-Cups [I was going to type “A-Cups” but why not embellish a little. It’s MY article!]. She squeals, claps her hands, and points at them. What’s a mom to do? I mean, SERIOUSLY!
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on the minds of moms | august • september twenty fourteen
I’ve learned from past, um, educational explorations, not to let her get anywhere close to my girls as she likes to pinch and pull certain parts that don’t LIKE to be pinched or pulled. Today is no different. Visions of the abuse my girls suffered while I was breast feeding still haunt me. I turn away and put on another part of my delicate unmentionables that she likes to wear as proudly as Madonna [the singer, not the Virgin] did with her metal-cone bra. And, thusly, this is my morning and I haven’t even left the bedroom. What surprises await me today? I suppose it’ll be more of my daughter excitedly wanting to look at the contents of her soiled diaper. Maybe she’ll pull at the waistband of my pants and exclaim, “Poop? Poop mommy?” Maybe she’ll even try to give me the child’s version of a titty twister. One thing is for sure: these scenarios will play out again and again and when it stops, when she outgrows it, I’m going to miss it. Melissa considers herself a Fargoan, although Minot is her hometown. Melissa is quick to state those native to Minot pronounce it “MiNET,” not “MiNOT.” She owns Inner Focus Reiki where she helps empower, inspire, and enlighten her clients through intuitive messages, Reiki, meditations, and classes. She is passionate about her work, loves the role of teacher, and gets crazily excited when clients report positive changes. In her daily life she is, among other things, a former diarykeeper-turned-blog-writer, mom to a strong-willed, fully potty-trained toddler, a bonus mom to a teenage, self-proclaimed ‘ginger,’ and the air her husband, Trinity, breathes.
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august • september twenty fourteen | on the minds of moms
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august events 6 & 13
7, 11, 18, 21, 25 & 28
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Here’s your chance to bring the whole family out to the park & be entertained with lively music from local bands. There will be arts and crafts, face painting, a bouncy castle and great music. These FREE concerts will be from 7pm-8:30pm August 6th @ Elephant/Percy Godwin Park [100 19th Ave N, Fargo] & August 13th @ Brunsdale Park [1702 27th Ave S, Fargo].
Fresh produce, berries, herbs, meats, jellies, flowers, hand-crafted items & agriculture products will be available for purchase 4pm-7pm at the South Elmwood Park parking lot [500 13th Ave W, West Fargo].
Come to Island Park [302 7th St S, Fargo] at dusk for some fun in the park at the annual Summer Movie Night! The fun starts when the sun goes down with a movie complete with free Pepsi and popcorn while supplies last.
Celebrate summer at RiverArts in Memorial Park [210 8th St N, Moorhead] from 5:30pm-8pm! Bring the whole family for an outdoor concert, horse drawn carriage rides, shopping, farmers market & kid’s activities. FREE admission.
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Punk, Rock, Metal! Two bands! All ages welcome! Get your friends and come out to see the area's up and coming musicians at Dike West [310 4th St S, Fargo] 7pm-9pm. These shows are FREE and all ages are welcome to attend.
Join in an interactive evening of music outside on the park plaza at Great Northern Park [425 N Broadway, Fargo] 7pm-9pm. An open mic format invites talented local musicians to perform to a crowd of all ages. Get your shot up on the stage or just enjoy the up and coming talent in our community.
Family Fun Concert 701.499.7788 www.fargoparks.com
Farmers' Market & Beyond 701.433.5360 www.wfparks.org
9, 16, 23 & 30
Town Square Farmers Market 218.779.1382 www.tsfarmersmarket.com Every Saturday, through September, the Town Square [3rd St & DeMers Ave in Downtown Grand Forks] will be filled with a variety of vendors selling everything from fresh produce & homebaked goods to handmade jewelry & clothing.
7
Community Play Day 701.499.7788 www.fargoparks.com Take a Free Play Day at Rheualt Farm [2902 25th St S, Fargo], 9am-11am & 1pm-3pm! Play yard games, do a take home craft, climb on the playground and move to music outside in the sunshine! Daycares are welcome. Adult supervision is required.
7 & 14
Park It! 701.499.7788 www.fargoparks.com Meet the Xcellent Art teacher at the park & create take home arts & crafts 1pm4pm. This is a FREE event. August 7th @ Madison Park [3010 11th Ave N, Fargo] & August 14th @ Centennial Park [4101 25th St S, Fargo].
Keeping kids healthy
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and hitting the books. Healthy Steps can help you with the cost of: • Hospital services • Clinic services • Mental health and substance abuse services • Prescriptions • Check-ups and vaccines • Vision services • Dental Care and Orthodontia
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on the minds of moms | august • september twenty fourteen
Movie Night 701.499.6060 www.fargoparks.com
Fargo Rock Concert 701.499. 7788 www.fargoparks.com
RiverArts 218.299.5340 www.cityofmoorhead.com/parks
Music Montage 701.499.7788 www.fargoparks.com
events event calendar | august
14
16 & 17
Don’t forget your blanket or a chair when you head out to Veterans Memorial Arena [1201 7th Ave E, West Fargo] for the big screen movie matinee –Despicable Me 2. Show time 1pm-3pm. Bleachers will be available and sno-cones, popcorn or pop will be offered for $1 each.
Pioneer Village at Bonanzaville [1351 W Main, West Fargo] comes to life with authentic parades, demonstrations, costumes and crafts.
Big Movie Matinee 701.433.5360 www.wfparks.org
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Corks & Canvas www.downtownfargo.com Enjoy an evening stroll through downtown Fargo with wine sampling, live artists, and great shopping. $20 per wristband may be purchased at each of the participating business.
Pioneer Days 701.282.2822 www.bonanzaville.com
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BMX Jam 701.499. 7788 www.fargoparks.com Bikers, show off your tricks at the BMX Jam at Dike West Skate Park [310 4th St S, Fargo]. All skill levels can participate in the exhibition. Helmets are required. Prizes will be given away.
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Enter your pooch in the fun and recreational dog show at North Elmwood Park [500 13th Ave W, West Fargo] from 5pm-7:30pm. Awards will be presented to the best groomed, best dressed, best trick, most unusual breed, cutest puppy and best of show. Visit with area pet vendors and sign up for door prizes.
Turn off your engines. Turn on your hearts! Join our annual event to spark human movement! Three miles of downtown Fargo and Moorhead streets shut down to motorized traffic so you can walk, run, bike, skate, dance --and eat or meet with healthy vendors.
Dog Show www.wfparks.org
22 & 23
Potato Days 800.525.4901 www.potatodays.com Lots of fun for the whole family in Barnesville. Parade, games, contests, and don't forget… Mashed Potato Wrestling!
Streets Alive www.fmstreetsalive.org
23 & 24
Island Park Show 701.241.8160 www.fargoparks.com Bring your friends and indulge yourself! Spend a day at Island Park [302 7th St S, Fargo] shopping in the shade! Find unique items, enjoy excellent food and listen to great music from 10am-5pm.
if you're always racing to the next moment, what happens to the one you're in?
Indulge Yourself Shop at the 160 juried arts & original craft booths for that special “treasure” that you can’t find anywhere else!
FIND ITEMS SUCH AS: • • • •
Handmade baskets Handmade candles Decorative wood items Clothing & MUCH MORE!
AUGUST 23-24
Located inside Sola Salon (3475 45th St S, Fargo)
Hours: Tue 2-7 Thurs 2-7 Fri 2-6 Every 2nd & 4th Sat 10-2 shopblackframe.com | facebook.com/shopblackframe
Island Park • 302 7th Street S august • september twenty fourteen | on the minds of moms
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www.onthemindsofmoms.com
10am-5pm FREE ADMISSION
Back to School Shopping For You Too!
september events 1, 4, 8, 11, 15, 18, 22, 25 & 29 Farmers' Market & Beyond 701.433.5360 www.wfparks.org
Fresh produce, berries, herbs, meats, jellies, flowers, hand-crafted items & agricultural products will be available for purchase 4pm-7pm at the South Elmwood Park parking lot [500 13th Ave W, West Fargo].
4
ZOOlebration www.redriverzoo.org ZOOlebration is the Red River Zoo's premier fundraising event! Come and enjoy a lovely evening at the Zoo with outstanding food, wine, entertainment and special animal encounters!
4
CCRI Superhero 5k, Run, Walk ’n’ Roll-a-thon 218.331.2024
the energy of this event is contagious. Be prepared for a glowfully great time. The run will start about 30 minutes after sun down, but come out early for some pre ILLUMINIGHT 5K FUN!
4, 11, 18 & 25
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Safety Shoppe Car Seat Check 701.234.5570 www.sanfordhealth.org/ ClassesAndEvents Statistically four out of five car seats are installed incorrectly. Each month Safe Kids Fargo/Moorhead conducts Car Seat Check Ups at The Safety Shoppe [601 39th St N, Fargo] from 1:45pm-4:45pm. Trained technicians will be available to assist parents, grandparents, and caregivers with using their car seats correctly. The events are free and open to the public. Space is limited and appointments are required. Please note that it will take a minimum of 30 minutes per car seat per car.
6
Illuminight 5K www.illumininght5k.com Bring your crazy costumes, glow wear and flashy lights to ILLUMINIGHT 5K and illuminate the night. Whether you are walker, jogger, or a competitive runner,
www.onthemindsofmoms.com
Chipped 5k run, youth run, and walk/ wheelchair roll through Gooseberry Park to raise awareness for people with disabilities. CCRI is a non-profit serving people with disabilities in Clay County and this run will also serve as the kick-off for Greater
Moorhead Days. Registration starts at 5pm with the fun starting at 5:30pm with the Sidekick Youth Run. Register online www.active.com/running/moorhead-mn/ ccri-5k-run-and-walk-n-roll-a-thon-2014.
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on the minds of moms | august • september twenty fourteen
Moos, Ewes & More! 701.231.9611 www.ag.ndsu.edu/ ansc/events_listing Head to the NDSU Equine Center [5140 19th Ave N Fargo], 10am-2pm for some FREE family oriented fun and take in a little slice of agriculture right here in Fargo. Meet the animals that call NDSU home, taste ice cream samplers, see cows being milked, horsemanship demonstrations, sheep shearing demonstrations, and MUCH more!
6
10th Annual Autumn JUNKFEST & Flea Market www.junk-fest.blogspot.com www.facebook.com/junkfest Junk Enthusiasts head to the Foster County Fairgrounds in Carrington, ND and find raw salvage and uniquely repurposed
furniture, accessories and garden art. 80+ vendors and yummy food on site 9am-3pm.
4–12
Greater Moorhead Days 218.299.5340 www.ci.moorhead.mn.us A celebration of Moorhead featuring a variety of events including the annual Greater Moorhead Days parade, a medallion hunt, and many other events.
7
Grandparents’ Day @ the Zoo 701.277.9240 www.redriverzoo.org Celebrate Grandparents’ Day at the Zoo! Grandparents receive free admission!
13
Ride the Red www.hrrv.org Do Good. Feel Good. Ride the Red with Family and Friends. The 14th Annual bike ride for charity is to raise support for Hospice of the Red River Valley. The 13 mile ride starts and ends at Trefoil Park in North Fargo and follows along the recreation trail in the FM area. Check-in and registration begins at 9am with the
events event calendar | september
ride leaving at 9:30am. $25 for adults, kiddos ride for FREE with a paid adult. Register by August 30th to guarantee your free t-shirt.
13
Fun Day with your Son Day 701.499.7788 www.fargoparks.com
Moms, step-moms, grandmas and aunts, it’s your turn to race go carts, play a few rounds of mini golf and challenge your son to a game of laser tag at Thunder Road Family Fun Park [2902 Thunder Road, Fargo]. This special morning from 9am-11am, was designed to provide quality time between you and your little man doing things you will both enjoy. Refreshments will be served and fun is guaranteed! $5 fee per person.
13 & 23
CPR for Family & Friends 701.234.5570 www.sanfordhealth.org
18–20
West Fest www.westfargond.gov
A community celebration filled with activities for the family. Softball tourney, pancake feed, rummage sale, 10K run/2 mile/walk, parade and Firefighter’s Ball. For full event details, see the online schedule.
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Fall Rummage Sale www.wfparks.org Over 120 vendor booths at the Veterans Memorial Arena [1201 7th Ave E, West Fargo], 7am-1pm! Exhibitors will be selling rummage and garage sale items, clearance items, household items, crafts, antiques, collectibles, home-based business products and much more. Free parking. Concessions will be available throughout the show. Admission is $1/person, kids 17 & under free.
Participants will learn the ABCs of CPR, how to manage airway obstruction and will receive an American Heart Association participation card. 6pm-8pm on the 13th and 9am-11am on the 23rd at Sanford Health [1711 University Dr, Fargo].
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B.L.A.S.T. Babysitter's Day Camp 701.364.1704 www.fmambulance.com
Initial course, held at F-M Ambulance Service [2215 18th St S, Fargo], for teens and pre-teens on the responsibilities of caring for children. They will learn CPR and first aid for children, as well as diaper-changing techniques, when to call 911 and what will happen if they do need emergency assistance. The course is designed for young babysitters ages 11–15. Limited space. Register online.
20, 21, 27 & 28 Fall Festival 701.499.7788 www.fargoparks.com
26 & 27
Wild Hog Half Marathon 701.780.9616 www.gfmarathon.com
3rd Annual Wild Hog Race Weekend in Grand Forks is back! Register now for the Family Fun Run, 5 & 10K, Half Marathon & Relays and plan to enjoy the Health & Fitness Expo and entertainment to celebrate your running accomplishments.
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German Cultural Festival 218.299.5452 www.hcscconline.org Celebrate German heritage with gourmet food, fine wine, beers and great music from 9am-7pm at Hjemkomst Center [202 1st Ave N].
Head to Rheault Farm [2902 25th St S, Fargo] for a ton of Fall fun! Arts & crafts, carnival games, face painting, inflatable bounce house and so much more. Free admission [ticket purchase required for games and rides], doors open 10am-5pm on the 20th and 27th, noon-5pm on the 21st and 28th.
the PROS at
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$50/PERSON OR $90/COUPLE
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22 701.2 82 .52 SW, Fargo 2551 45th St.
KIDS’ STUFF WITH PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE august • september twenty fourteen | on the minds of moms
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WINE TASTING sponsored by cash wise liquor-moorhead SILENT AUCTION, HORS D’OEUVRES, LIVE ENTERTAINMENT
october events 2
6 & 18
Last day for fresh produce, berries, herbs, meats, jellies, flowers, hand-crafted items & agricultural products will be available for purchase 4pm-7pm at the South Elmwood Park parking lot [500 13th Ave W, West Fargo.
Participants will learn the ABCs of CPR, how to manage airway obstruction and will receive an American Heart Association participation card. 6pm-8pm on the 6th and 9am-11am on the 18th at Sanford Health [1711 University Dr, Fargo].
2, 9, 16, 23 & 30
4&5
Farmers' Market & Beyond 701.433.5360 www.wfparks.org
Safety Shoppe Car Seat Check 701.234.5570 www.sanfordhealth.org/ ClassesAndEvents Statistically four out of five car seats are installed incorrectly. Each month Safe Kids Fargo/Moorhead conducts Car Seat Check Ups at The Safety Shoppe [601 39th St N, Fargo] from 1:45pm–4:45pm. Trained technicians will be available to assist parents, grandparents, and caregivers with using their car seats correctly. The events are free and open to the public. Space is limited and appointments are required. Please note that it will take a minimum of 30 minutes per car seat per car.
CPR for Family & Friends 701.234.5570 www.sanfordhealth.org
EGF Arts & Crafts Fair 218.773.6525 www.visitgrandforks.com For the 42nd year, the area’s largest craft show returns to the northern valley. Both the East Grand Forks Civic Auditorium [300 15th St NE, East Grand Forks] and VFW Arena [711 3rd St SE, East Grand Forks] will be filled with over a hundred vendors selling top quality arts and crafts. There will also be a free shuttle bus running between the two locations. Please NO strollers or pets. $2 per person; 6 and under free.
4
GiGi’s Playhouse Fargo Buddy Walk www.upwithdownsfargo.com www.facebook.com/ Buddywalkfargo Join us in celebrating and promoting the understanding and acceptance of all people with Down syndrome! This fun walk at Scheels Arena [5225 31st Ave S, Fargo] is from 9am–2pm with the 1 mile walk beginning at 10:30am.
9
Safe Kids Car Seat Check-Up 701.780.1856 www.safekidsgf.org
12 & 13
Women’s Business Summit www.trainingnd.com This Summit, held at the Bismarck Civic Center [315 S 5th St, Bismarck], will feature two intense days of training, networking, business growth opportunities, personal development, professional focus and of course…. Fun! Whether a professional in the workplace, a business owner or simply a woman aspiring to improve herself, you will be able to choose a customized learning track that fits your needs with 20+ breakout sessions available to choose from. Keynote speaker, Kristen Hadeed, founder of Student Maid, will share her story and insights.
Did you know that 4 out 5 car seats are used incorrectly? Could your child's be one of them? Safe Kids Grand Forks, in partnership with Altru Health System and Rydell GM Auto Center, offers a monthly car seat check-up event on the second Thursday of each month. This event is free and no appointments are necessary. Come to Rydell's [2700 South Washington St, Grand Forks], 4pm–7pm, and certified car seat technicians will check on your seat and ensure your children are riding safely.
ea’s The Arurce #1 So ons, up r Fo Co counts s i D ls & Dea www.onthemindsofmoms.com
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rants, Restaue, Spa, ervic Auto Sertainment & Ent 26
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events event calendar | october
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Join the North Valley Arts Council [NVAC], Downtown Development Association [DDA], local businesses and regional artists for an afternoon of wine tasting and art in Downtown Grand Forks and East Grand Forks, 1pm–5pm. Purchase a $15 map at the NVAC or DDA for those participating businesses. Enjoy snacks and wine samples. At 5pm bring your map to the Wrap Up Party at the Empire Arts Center [415 Demers Ave, Grand Forks] and turn it in to be eligible for one of many prize bags. For more information visit online.
Support the Rape And Abuse Crisis Center with a night of fun at the Courtyard by Marriot [1080 28th Ave S, Moorhead] from 7pm-11pm. Wine Tasting, silent auction, hors d'oeuvres and live entertainment will fill the night. Call or go online to purchase tickets.
Art & Wine Walk 701.7574051 www.visitgrandforks.com
RACC Harvest Moon Fling 701.293.7273 www.raccfm.com
21
Halloween Carnival 701.237.4805 www.fargoparks.com Enjoy a mix of carnival games and inflatables from Games Galore at Courts Plus Community Fitness [3491 S University Dr] from 3:30pm-5:30pm. All youth will receive a free Halloween bag for attending while supplies last. FREE.
25
Moonlight Monster Mash www.fargoparks.com
Vampires, ghosts and skeletons welcome 6:30pm–9pm at Fargo Youth Commission [2500 18th St S, Fargo]. All participants are encouraged to wear a costume and dance the night away. Explore the haunted attic, play ghoulish games, and trick-or-treat for some spooky snacks. Enjoy a live DJ all night long and a spooktacular entertainment show by magician Jeffery Salveson at 7:30pm. $3.00 admission [ages 2 & under are free] and parental supervision required.
25
Boo @ the Zoo 701.277.9240 www.redriverzoo.org
Get your scare on with all the animals at the Red River Zoo [4255 23rd Ave S, Fargo]! This spooktacular Halloween event is complete with activities, trick-or-treating, creepy critter encounters, pumpkin carving and even cockroach races! From 10am–5pm. Regular Zoo admission applies, members get in free!
kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see —mark twain
ealthy H , s id k y p p a H
kids!
Are they looking at you with...
allergy eyes?
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ds: GymnasticTIs ONbu, ilFITNESS, STRENGTH,
We provide testing & treatments to help our patients alleviate allergy and sinus conditions. We offer safe in-office and surgical options for more severe/chronic issues.
n! COORDINA AL SKILLS and it’s fu MENTAL FOCUS, SOCI
18 MONTHS - 18 YEARS | BOYS & GIRLS www.americangoldgymnastics.com | 701.280.0400
Lesley Soine, MD | James Frisk, MD plainsent.com • 235.1924 • 2700 12th Ave. S, Ste D, Fargo august • september twenty fourteen | on the minds of moms
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www.onthemindsofmoms.com
shop talk
to tune up or wing it… that is the question!
28
on the minds of moms | august • september twenty fourteen
shop talk story by | robert gibb & sons
W
hile it may seem like a distant memory, last winter was really stinkin’ cold…with a capital C-O-L-D! And with the privilege of living in the upper Midwest and the beautiful cyclic change in seasons, the cold is guaranteed to be here again. Now raise your hand if the thought of your furnace going on the fritz in mid-January with -60-degree wind chills doesn’t make you shudder in your UGGs? What? Nobody? Having a furnace maintenance plan can help keep your home toasty warm all winter long. what is it? A furnace maintenance plan includes replacing the filter if needed [most filters should be replaced every six months, larger filters have more filtration media and may last a year], check bearings and lubricate if necessary, inspect heat exchanger, check high-limit and safety controls, inspect venting for obstructions and leaks, tighten all electrical connections, set manifold gas pressure, clean flame sensor or change thermocouple on older equipment, clean condensate drain, check blower and clean if necessary, older equipment may have a belt to change, and check temperature rise through furnace. Boilers are much the same, but instead of heating air they heat water so pressures, pumps, and expansion tanks are checked as well. how much? Depending of the system, the cost can range from $125 to $350. A fuel-oil furnace takes between two and three hours to service properly, while a newer high-efficiency gas furnace may only take an hour. do i need it? All manufacturers recommend at least an annual inspection. Routine maintenance can reduce costly repair bills and save you from the overtime call in the middle of the night. A furnace can also develop small cracks on the heat exchanger from overheating due to improper gas pressure or lack of air flow. This can cause carbon monoxide to get into the airstream and spread throughout the house. EVERY house should have a carbon-monoxide detector for this reason.
40th St SW, Fargo Main Phone: 701.282.5900 Service Phone: 701.282.4400 www.robertgibb.com
The Minnesota State University Moorhead
Center
Enrolling Now For Fall! 16 months to 6 years
▸ Open year-round, 7:30 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. ▸ NAEYC-accredited preschool program. ▸ Staffed by licensed teachers and education majors ▸ Nutritious meals following the USDA Child Care Food Program guidelines. ▸ Spacious gymnasium and playground.
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Furnaces should be checked by a qualified technician. Maintenance should help improve homeowner’s energy efficiency and equipment performance, and keep the cold outside where it belongs!
Robert Gibb & Sons is a leading full-service mechanical contractor in the Midwest specializing in plumbing, heating, air conditioning, electrical, and underground sewer and water utilities. The company was founded in 1915 by the late Robert Gibb Senior, who immigrated to the United States from his native Scotland. Born and raised in an industrial community, his interests and talent directed him toward a career in the mechanical industry. Following World War II, Mr. Gibb’s four sons joined him in the business, accelerating the expansion and diversification of the firm. Today, the Gibb company remains a family-run corporation, with two of Robert Gibb’s grandsons as the owners. From multi-million dollar commercial and industrial construction projects, the people at Robert Gibb & Sons understand that excellence isn’t just a goal, it’s a responsibility.
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218.477.2214 mnstate.edu/childcare august • september twenty fourteen | on the minds of moms
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pr U
nlike many veterinarians who can say they have always wanted to be a practicing veterinarian, Dr. Carrie Summerfield [44] wasn’t so certain. Strongly interested in math and science, Carrie entered the Wildlife Biology
program at the University of North Dakota, where she was introduced to Wildlife Forensics and Pathology. Very intrigued with using science to solve mysteries, Carrie quickly entered Vet School to become a wildlife pathologist; however, the reality of few jobs in the field opened her eyes to shift her focus to small-animal medicine. After graduating with a Doctor of Veterinarian Medicine [DVM] from the University of Minnesota, St. Paul, Dr. Carrie found her way to West Fargo Animal Hospital [WFAH], where her passion to treat animals began. In 2006 she was joined by Dr. Amy Anderson. The two worked well together and quickly decided joint clinic ownership was something they wanted to pursue. Seeing potential in the tiny practice, the women approached the WFAH owners with a proposal to buy. Today Dr. Carrie and Dr. Amy have grown their clinic and work extremely hard to provide a fun work environment, quality care for animals, and customer service that is second to none. When Dr. Carrie isn’t taking care of our furry family friends and her 2-year-old mixed breed dog, Lulu, you can find her camping with husband Shawn Stewart and their kids, Jack [8] and Andie [6].
photos: rialee photography | sabrina kliniske
mom dr. carrie summerfield reneur mompreneur
west fargo animal hospital
how would your clients describe you?
I sure hope as an understanding doctor who provides the best care for their pet while listening to their needs as the owner of that pet.
in one word describe your clinic/hospital? Team! We have such a great group of people who care about every pet that comes through our doors and we all work extremely well together! I am proud of our team and honestly can’t praise them enough.
how do you and dr. amy share daily clinic responsibilities? Honestly, we kind of just fell into a natural routine of things we like to do. I handle the bookkeeping and number crunching. Amy does more with the computers and vendors. We split the Human Resources, since neither of us particularly loves that responsibility. We share an office, so we are always discussing everything as it crops up.
what area do you think your clinic/hospital excels in?
what has been the best piece of business advice you have ever received? To remember every team member is equally important. We can’t run a successful business if we don’t value all our team members equally - from kennel staff to associate doctors, we all play important roles at WFAH.
There are those people who think we are “in it for the money” and if we charge for what we do then we don’t care about the animal. The fact is that we have to charge for what we do so that we can keep our doors open and do what we do best. Hiring quality
r ing now of f e
pediatric ca re!
Specialized Massage & Physical Therapy to Treat: Developmental Delays | Chronic & Pelvic Pain Bowel & Bladder Dysfunction Craniosacral Therapy | & much more! Brooke Erstad, PT, DPT, WCS, CAPP Allison Buske, PT, DPT Katie Karn, LMT/LR
Delivering Hands-On Care You & Your Family Deserve
701.364.APEX (2739) | www.apexptwe ll ness.com 550 13th Ave E, West Fargo august • september twenty fourteen | on the minds of moms
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www.onthemindsofmoms.com
We provide high-quality medicine with excellent client service. We strive very hard to provide the best customer service, because we understand how important pets are in families, and genuinely treat them as one of our own.
do you think there are any misconceptions in the veterinary industry?
mompreneur staff, purchasing modern and required equipment, along with continuing education, are all necessary to provide quality care with successful results. I also feel compelled to mention this profession isn’t only about the animals we care for. To be successful it’s equally as important to have people skills - pets don’t bring themselves in to be seen. Love for animals and medicine and the relationships and connection you make with pet owners is vital.
what is the number one mistake pet owners make? Forgetting veterinarians have the best medical knowledge for caring for their pet, not groomers, breeders, or Dr. Google.
what is the best-kept secret at WFAH? It might not be a secret that we have outgrown our current building. So we are in the planning process for building a larger hospital. If all continues to move in the right direction, we should be moving next summer. WFAH will be across the street to the north from our current location, so we won’t be moving far. We will have more parking, a larger reception area, more exam rooms and even a “comfort room” for consults, visitation, and euthanasias.
me when they are sick, I can schedule around school events, I can choose the hours I work, etc. But also being the owner of the business I know more than anyone that the bottom line depends on my availability to clients and staff. So I get to choose which sacrifices I will make.
what kind of example do you hope you are setting for your kids? I want them to realize that gender should not play a role in what interests you have, what toys you play with, what books you read, or what career you choose. My parents always made me feel like I could do anything, so it is my hope I can be the example for both my son and daughter to do what you love and never let gender play into it when making those choices.
what is one thing on your ‘for me’ list you hope to experience someday? Hands down, travelling to Australia and Africa. Ever since I was a young I have had the list of the three A’s- Alaska, Australia, and Africa. I’m thrilled to say I have made it to Alaska, which was utterly amazing. Only two more stops to complete my ‘for me’ list.
what one quality do you think is necessary to be a mompreneur? For me it’s being able to separate home and work: thinking about only work when I’m practicing and being mom and wife when I’m at home. I get more done and I’m happier when I can focus on one aspect at a time and not let the guilt seep in.
away from the clinic/hospital, what might we find you doing?
www.onthemindsofmoms.com
It fills me up to spend time with my kids- camping, playing in the yard, attending practices and games. But I am not afraid to say I love my ‘me time.’ When I do get ‘me’ time I like to read, quilt [or other crafts], go antiquing, or go for walks with Lulu.
what is something you couldn’t live without? Alone time! I don’t get it very often but I really do need quiet time to myself to recharge.
do you feel you’ve had to make any parenting sacrifices in order to be your own boss? I feel that I make less parenting sacrifices because I am my own boss. I can take my kids to work with
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on the minds of moms | august • september twenty fourteen
West Fargo Animal Hospital 730 13th Ave. E, West Fargo, ND 701.282.2898 www.westfargoanimalhospital.vetsuite.com Follow us on Facebook Hours: Monday & Thursday 7:30am – 7pm Tuesday & Friday 7:30am – 5pm Wednesday 7:30am – 7pm *open the 2nd and 4th Saturdays of each month 8am-noon
mompreneur
www.onthemindsofmoms.com photo: west fargo animal hospital
august • september twenty fourteen | on the minds of moms
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shutter bug
tiny sprout portraits
rialee photography
shutter bug
exposures by j.linnea
rialee photography
tiny sprout portraits
exposures by j.linnea
body + being
thyroid
get to know your gland story by | patricia carlson
W
www.onthemindsofmoms.com
ouldn’t it be great if your body had an indicator light like your car? An organ or body part would glow to signal: ‘Hey, Doc, over here! There’s a problem!’
Your thyroid helps regulate how fast your heart beats, how quickly you digest food, how much you sweat, and the speed at which you burn calories. It produces a hormone that controls the metabolism of all the cells in your body. The thyroid is one of your endocrine glands, which also include your pancreas, pituitary gland, adrenal glands, and ovaries.
Our bodies don’t always make it easy for doctors to pinpoint a problem. Symptoms like pain, swelling, bruising, or bleeding are clear indicators that something “A balanced metabolism ensures a healthy temperature, is wrong. But other symptoms such as fatigue, fluctua- heart rate, energy level, and growth rate,” explains tions in weight, and irritability can be clues to a whole Dr. Anju Sukumaran, a pediatric endocrinologist at host of issues. These symptoms are like puzzle pieces Essentia Health’s South University Clinic in Fargo. that need to be properly aligned for doctors to see the Endocrinologists specialize in treating the thyroid, whole picture. This analogy is especially true when it other hormone-producing glands, and associated comes to diagnosing a problem with your thyroid gland. hormone disorders. what is your thyroid? The thyroid is a butterfly-shaped gland in the lower part of your neck. It sits just below your voice box [larynx] and wraps around your windpipe [trachea]. 36
on the minds of moms | august • september twenty fourteen
For such a small gland, the thyroid is certainly a big player in our health. “Determining a thyroid problem can be easy or very complex,” says Dr. Sukumaran. It all depends on your medical history, physical exam, symptoms, and
test results. The first step is sharing your symptoms with your physician or health-care provider. The next step often is a simple blood test that measures your thyroid hormone level. Let’s talk about some common thyroid disorders and recommended treatments: hypothyroidism Hypothyroidism occurs when your thyroid gland isn’t making enough hormone, says Dr. Sukumaran. Its most common symptoms are tiredness, sluggishness, and fatigue, but some people won’t have any symptoms. Other symptoms can include: • weight gain • dry and brittle skin, hair, and nails • depression • feeling cold • muscle pains • longer and heavier menstrual periods • constipation • slowed thinking The most common form of hypothyroidism in the United States is an autoimmune disorder called Hashimoto thyroiditis. This happens when your body attacks your thyroid tissue and eventually destroys it. Without a thyroid, your body plunges into hypothyroidism. Other forms of hypothyroidism might happen after thyroid removal surgery [due to cancer], iodine deficiency, or radioactive iodine treatment, or pituitary gland abnormalities. Hypothyroidism caused by iodine deficiency is rare in America because most of our table salt has added iodine. Dr. Sukumaran says hypothyroidism in adults can lead to a weak and slow heart. It can also increase your blood pressure and cholesterol, which increases your risk for heart disease. On rare occasions untreated hypothyroidism can bring on a potentially fatal coma.
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hypothyroidism in children Sometimes babies are born without enough thyroid hormone or the ability to generate enough hormone. This is called congenital hypothyroidism. It’s dangerous because it can lead to intellectual deficits and stunted growth.
w w w. w e s t f a r g o a n i m a l h o s p i t a l . v e t s u i t e . c o m 701.282.2898 | 730 13th Avenue E, West Fargo august • september twenty fourteen | on the minds of moms
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A blood test can measure your hormone levels if you think you have hypothyroidism. If your thyroid levels are too low, thyroid hormone pills may be prescribed. Most doctors recommend a follow-up blood test a couple of months later to ensure the medication is working properly.
body + being “Newborn screenings usually detect this abnormality,” healthy and exercise more, the thyroid should re-regulate says Dr. Sukumaran. “This condition is not preventable without any medication, she says. but the learning deficits caused by it can be prevented by hypothyroidism during pregnancy early adequate treatment. If left untreated, congenital If your thyroid levels are low during pregnancy, you hypothyroidism can lead to learning and intellectual or your baby could be at risk for hypothyroidism. problems. Some children may grow out of it, but the “It’s important to have a normal amount of thyroid majority will need to take thyroid hormone pills to hormone in your body before getting pregnant,” says replace the deficient hormone.” Dr. Sukumaran. She advises anyone who has taken Signs of hypothyroidism in a baby include lethargy, medicine to lower their thyroid hormone to get their levels tested before trying to get pregnant and anyone quietness, poor appetite, and sleeping for long periods of time. Again, there is no magic sign indicating you or who was treated with radioactive iodine to wait at least your child may have hypothyroidism, so understanding six months before trying to conceive. the warning signs is your first defense. hyperthyroidism Whereas “hypo,” in medical terminology, means a subclinical hypothyroidism In subclinical hypothyroidism, you have a normal deficiency, “hyper” means an overabundance, so thyroid hormone level but an abnormal pituitary signal. hyperthyroidism is when your gland produces too The condition is determined by a blood test. It is seen much thyroid hormone. Symptoms include: in 23 percent of obese children but it is important to • shaking • shorter and lighter understand that being obese doesn't cause subclinical • nervousness and/or menstrual periods hypothyroidism; rather, it’s a consequence of obesity, • rapid, irregular heartbeat irritability • weight loss and/or hair • loose stools explains Dr. Sukumaran. If you help your child eat • bulging eyes loss • goiter
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“If left untreated, hyperthyroidism can cause serious heart rate disturbances and heart failure,” explains Dr. Sukumaran. The most common hyperthyroidism disorder is called Graves’ Disease, which occurs when your thyroid overproduces hormones and overwhelms your body. People with Graves’ Disease may suffer from swollen tissue around the eyes, bulging eyes, or double vision. Graves’ Disease can be fatal if undiagnosed or left untreated. Three main treatments for hyperthyroidism may be used alone or in combination with beta-blockers, the drugs that can reduce symptoms, explains Dr. Sukumaran. Anti-thyroid medications can reduce the amount of hormone made by the gland. Radioactive iodine can destroy some of the thyroid tissue, while surgery can remove some or all of the gland. If your thyroid is removed, you’ll take daily hormone replacement medicine for the rest of your life. postpartum thyroiditis Between five to ten percent of American women experience problems with their thyroid after giving birth. If your weight, mood, sleeping patterns, and heart rate have fluctuated more than they did before you had a
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on the minds of moms | august • september twenty fourteen
baby, you might be experiencing postpartum thyroiditis. At the onset, you’ll suffer from hyperthyroidism that transitions to hypothyroidism. Your hormone levels may stay wonky for up to 18 months after having your baby and you may need to undergo a course of treatment at each stage, but the good news is that most postpartum thyroiditis is temporary. The American Thyroid Association says 80 percent of women return to normal thyroid function on their own without long-term hormone replacement medication. thyroid cancer Thyroid cancer is rare and found in just five percent of nodules on goiters. This cancer is more common as we age and certain cancers can run in families, Dr. Sukumaran explains. Experts don’t know what causes this cancer. You’re at greater risk if you’ve received radiation treatment to your head or neck to fight other cancers. Thyroid screenings should be part of your regular medical checkups. Besides nodules, other symptoms of thyroid cancer can include hoarseness or being unable to talk, trouble breathing or swallowing, and coughing up blood. “However,
all of these symptoms can be caused by other conditions,” warns Dr. Sukumaran. Most thyroid cancer patients undergo surgery to remove the tumor. Radioactive iodine treatment and/or chemotherapy [both of these annihilate the tumor and your thyroid] might also be needed. In these cases, you’ll need to take hormonereplacing thyroid pills for the rest of your life. Yes, a “check thyroid” indicator light would be helpful, considering the responsibilities of this important gland. If you are experiencing any of the signs or symptoms previously mentioned, talk to your trusted physician or health-care provider regarding any questions or concerns you have about your thyroid. Patricia Carlson is a freelance writer based in Minnesota and Florida. Her editorial work appears in publications nationwide, including Minnesota Parent, FOP Journal, and On the Minds of Moms. She also develops and writes strategic website content and email marketing materials for small businesses. Patricia’s roster of clients features background screening company Active Screening, automated marketing venture Buzz360, and independent fitness facility Fit Revolution. When she’s not interviewing sources, she’s questioning the antics of her two young children, her partner, and her mischievous cat. Keep track of her work at www.patriciacarlsonfreelance.com.
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39
resources
find help, get advice, make a difference Prevent Child Abuse North Dakota PCAND is a 501(c)3 notfor-profit organization and Chapter of Prevent Child Abuse America that is dedicated exclusively to the prevention of child abuse and neglect. PCAND, formerly known as the North Dakota Committee to Prevent Child Abuse and Parents Anonymous, has been working to prevent child abuse and strengthen families in North Dakota since 1978. For parenting education, support, and materials, visit www.pcand.org. 4 Luv of Dog Rescue This is an all-volunteer organization that strives to find loving homes for homeless dogs. They do not discriminate against the breed, age, or medical condition of a dog. The dogs rescued come from regional pounds and owner surrenders. They do not have a shelter. The dogs live in volunteer foster homes so that they can receive the love, care, and socialization they need while we search for their forever home. For more information visit www.4luvofdog.com. Jeremiah Program Empowerment. Education. Success. It is what Jeremiah Program was built on, what participants strive for, and what the program helps participants achieve. At Jeremiah Program, low-income single mothers make a commitment to completing a post-secondary education, launching a successful career, and creating stability and prosperity for their children—all while living in our affordable, safe-housing environment. For more information, call 701.361.3873, email fargomoorhead@jeremiahprogram.org or visit www.facebook.com/JeremiahProgramFargoMoorhead. Up With Downs Supporting families of Down syndrome. For more information, contact Kara Jones, 701.446.8056 or karaljones@gmail.com, or Liz St. Louis, 701.212.7877 or estlouis4@gmail.com. Hands & Voices is a non-profit, parent-driven organization dedicated to supporting families of children who are deaf or hard of hearing without bias around communication modes or methodology. What Works for your Child is What Makes the Choice Right™ Contact us for more information at 701.484.1605, contact@ndhandsandvoices.org, or visit www. ndhandsandvoices.org. Red River Moms Of Multiples 2nd Tuesday of each month. For more information visit www.rrvmothersofmultiples.org. Children's Consultation Network Provides access to early childhood mental health screening, assessment, and consultation, develops and distributes children's mental health resources, provides community education, seeks to diminish stigma, and facilitates collaborative efforts related to children's mental health services, especially for children ages 0-8. For more information, 701.526.1565 or www.halfachild.com. Adoption Play Support Group For more details call 701.200.3285 or email shellemoran@yahoo.com. Parent Professional Learning Network is a Parent Navigator Team with Family Voices of North Dakota offering an
opportunity for parents of children with special needs and the professionals who work with them to come together to learn and grow. For more information email parentproflearningnetwork@gmail.com. The Compassionate Friends 2nd Thursday of each month, 7:00pm at Faith Lutheran Church [127 2nd Ave E, West Fargo]. Offering grief support after the death of a child. For more information email chapterleader@tcffargomoorhead. org, call 701.491.0364 or visit www.tcffargomoorhead.org. Tender Transitions Every Tuesday and Friday from 12:00pm to 3:00pm at Essentia Health South University 6th Floor Conference Room. For all new moms in the FM area. For questions, call 701.364.8066. Child Asperger Support Group Every Tuesday from 12:00pm to 1:00pm at Southeast Human Service Center. For additional information visit www.rrvan.org. SHARE: Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support Group 3rd Tuesday of every month at 7:00pm at Edgewood Vista and Village [4440 37th Ave S, Fargo]. This nondenominational group offers support to those whose lives are touched by the tragic death of a baby through early pregnancy loss, stillbirth, or within the first few months of life. For more information call 701.361.6611. Beyond the NICU Doors A community support network for parents who have experienced time in a NICU. Monthly gathering starting in September will be the 4th Tuesday from 7-8:30pm at the Anne Carlson Center located behind Subway on the corner of 13th Ave S and 25th St S in Fargo. Gatherings include a speaker and children are welcome as there are toys and space available. This is open to all NICU families regardless of location of NICU experience. This is a cooperative effort between Region V Experienced Parent and March of Dimes NICU Family Support. Any questions please call Moe Schreoder at 701.237.3558 or Colette Christoffers at 701.235.5530. FM Autism Support Group 2nd Friday of each month from 7:00pm to 9:00pm at Pediatric Therapy Partners [2846 Brandt Dr S, Fargo]. For more information call group contact Rachel at 218.287.1184 or visit www.fmautismsupport.webs.com. Fargo-Moorhead Home Schoolers Christian home schooling Moms who want to network ideas and provide support to homeschooling families. For more information contact Karen – jkisgrig@msn.com or 701.967.8990. Healthy Steps A health insurance program for North Dakota children age 18 or younger who do not have health insurance coverage, do not qualify or are not fully covered by the North Dakota Medicaid Program, and live in qualifying families. The benefits are offered at no or very low cost. For more information 877.543.7669 or www.healthystepsnd.com.
resources HOPE, Inc. Provides a year-round sports and recreation program for children and young adults ages 2-23 with mobility challenges. We are family-centered and provide extra equipment so the ENTIRE family can play! Contact Adair at 701.866.9002 or adair@hopeinconline.org for more information or visit www.hopeinconline.org.
Gluten Intolerance Group of Fargo/Moorhead GIG of F/M holds gatherings for education, fellowship and support for those living with Celiac Disease, Gluten Intolerance or Gluten Sensitivity. You do not need to be a paid member of this group to attend any meetings. For more information visit www.gluten.net/local-branches/fargo-3.
Breastfeeding Support Group Meets once a month from 6:00pm to 7:00pm at Essentia Health. Call 701.364.8100 or visit www.essentiahealth.org for more information and other support group opportunities.
Special Olympics Provides year-round sports training for all kids and adults with intellectual disabilities. To inquire about volunteering opportunities go to www.specialolympicsnorthdakota.org.
Rape & Abuse Crisis Center Crisis intervention, advocacy, and counseling services to all persons who have been victims of domestic violence or sexual abuse. Volunteer or donate. Call 701.293.7273 or visit www.raccfm.com.
FirstLink Provides telephone support including information and referral of local non-profits, listening and support, crisis intervention and suicide intervention 701.235.7335.
Rainbow Bridge Visitation & Safe Exchange Because of dedicated individuals who volunteer their time, Rainbow Bridge is able to meet the ever-increasing visitation needs of our families. For more information visit www.rainbowbridgekids. net or call 218.299.7694. FirstChoice Clinic Provides pregnancy confirmation and counseling, prenatal and parenting classes, community referrals to help individuals make life-affirming choices. Call 701.237.5902 or visit www.firstchoiceclinic.com. Volunteer or donate at www.teamfirstchoiceclinic.com. Survivor of Suicide Loss 3rd Thursday of each month. Provides a safe, accepted and supportive environment and opportunity to talk openly. For more information contact Mary at 701.219.4110. Birthright Pregnancy testing, counseling, prenatal and parenting education, maternity and infant clothing, emergency supplies of diapers and formula and labor support. All services are free and confidential. To volunteer or donate contact 701.237.0359 or www.birthright.org.
Love Hope Family
MOMS Club of West Fargo Offers support, activities, and friendship for moms who work at home full or part time. For more information www.momsclubfargo.org or email momsclubofwf@yahoo.com. South East Regional KIDS Program An Infant Development Service providing home-based family focused services at no cost to families having an eligible infant or toddler under the age of three. For more info, call 701.446.3927. FM MOMSnext For moms of school-aged children kindergarten to college to discuss various topics on parenting, motherhood and women ministries. Meet the 2nd Wednesday of the month at First United Methodist Church [906 1st Ave S, Fargo] from 6:00pm to 7:30pm. Children's programming also available at the same time and need not be a member of the Church to have your children involved. Contact 701.232.4416 or email fmmomsnext@hotmail.com for more information. For more listings, visit www.OnTheMindsOfMoms.com/support. OTMOM does its best to keep information accurate, but organizations are responsible for providing updated information. It is always a good idea to call ahead and confirm information provided. To submit a group or resource for consideration to be posted on our website, email details to info@onthemindsofmoms.com.
gettin’ through it
will you? preparing your will q & a
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story by | krista l. andrews
C
onsidering our own mortality isn’t necessarily a subject people enjoy discussing. Many times it takes an actual death or health crisis within our circle of friends or family to make us think, “That could be me.” And what if it is you? Have you done what is necessary to make sure your wishes are followed, that your loved ones are taken care of? Do you have a will? A will is a legal document that allows a person to manage his or her estate and provide for the distribution of property at death. Anyone over the age of majority 42
on the minds of moms | august • september twenty fourteen
[age at which a person is recognized by law to be an adult] and of sound mind who wishes to specify what happens to his or her property at death should have a will. While most people don’t enjoy thinking about what will happen when they die, having a clear written directive in place offers a sense of peace in knowing your loved ones are provided for, you’ve helped reduce potential familial conflict, and there won’t be uncertainty as to what was intended with your estate. So let’s answer some questions about preparing your will: do i need a lawyer to do my will? There is not a legal requirement that a lawyer draft
gettin’ through it your will. Some people choose to draft their own wills, some choose to use forms they have found online or through other resources, and others use an attorney to assist them with estate planning and drafting their wills. However, each state has different statutory requirements so it is important to be aware of the state-specific requirements for drafting and executing estate documents. how much does it typically cost to prepare a will? Cost depends on whether you use online forms or the services of an attorney. Attorneys have different rates and packages for estate planning, so ask up front what those fees will be. For a “simple will” estimated costs are around $500. where should i start when preparing my will? It is important to have a good understanding of what assets and investments you have. Once you have a general accounting, you should consider whom you want to receive your assets or whether you want to give a certain amount or percentage to specific individuals or charities. what key things should my will include? Whom you would like to give your assets to: you may specify general assets [“my estate”], specific investments [“my account at X bank”], and personal property [“my china set”]. If your will allows, personal property can also be distributed from a separate written list that is signed and dated by the individual executing the
1st visit
recommended
at
1
will. You should also indicate whom you want to serve as your personal representative, and if you set up a trust in your will, whom you want to serve as the trustee. If you have minor children, you should also indicate whom you wish to serve as guardian in the event both parents are deceased. are there things i shouldn’t include in my will? Although there is nothing that prohibits you from stating it in your will, if you “disinherit” your spouse in your will the law says that he or she can elect to take their “elective share” under the law, which is one-half of the estate. In other words, if your will says that you don’t want your spouse to get a dime of your estate, he can still choose to take what the law allows him to have. Other than that, there are no prohibitions on what should not be included in your will. what happens to my assets if i die without a will? Your assets are then distributed according to the law of the state in which you live. what happens to my children if i die without a will? With or without a will, if another parent is still living he or she would keep custody of the children. In extreme circumstances, family members or other individuals may be granted custody of the children if the living parent is unable or unwilling to parent. However, if you have a will that specifies whom you want to have custody of your children in the event both parents are deceased, that preference is given great deference by the courts.
year of age!
Dr. Chad Hoge, Diplomate,
American Board of Pediatric Dentistry
Dr. Mikala Hoge, Diplomate,
American Board of Pediatric Dentistry
comprehensive dental care for infants, children, and adolescents
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Dakota Pediatric Dentistry, P.C. w w w. d a k o t a p e d i a t r i c d e n t i s t r y . c o m FARGO OFFICE
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4265 45th St S, Ste 202
GRAND FORKS OFFICE
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2812 17th Ave S, Ste F
august • september twenty fourteen | on the minds of moms
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gettin’ through it should my spouse and i have separate wills? Generally spouses have separate wills. However, spouses often have reciprocal wills, meaning each person leaves the majority or all of his or her estate to the other person. Reciprocal wills aren’t always a good fit in complex relationships or blended families, though. how often should my will be updated? Most people update their wills when there is no longer a need for a guardian, they want to change their beneficiaries, if their spouse has passed, if they want to set up a trust, or if they want to cancel their trust.
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is there anything else i should consider doing when i’m preparing my will? Consider also creating a health-care directive and durable general power of attorney as part of your estate planning. A health-care directive, sometimes also known as a living will, advance directive, or advance decision, is a document that specifies what actions should be taken for your health if you are unable to make those decisions because of illness or incapacity. A
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on the minds of moms | august • september twenty fourteen
durable general power of attorney is a document that allows another individual to represent or act on your behalf for business or other legal matters, should you be unable to act on your own behalf. The preference, of course, is that you take time to carefully consider your wishes, but in some circumstances individuals only execute estate-planning documents when it is absolutely necessary to do so. This creates a more hurried process, and sometimes there isn’t sufficient time to have the documents drafted and executed. Give yourself the dedicated time to properly consider your wishes and prepare your will. Are you ready? Stop putting it off and get started now! Krista L. Andrews is a shareholder in Anderson, Bottrell, Sanden & Thompson Law Firm, practicing in the areas of family law, estate planning, and business law. She received her Bachelor of Arts degree from the University of North Dakota, summa cum laude, and her Juris Doctor degree from the University of North Dakota. She is licensed to practice law in North Dakota and Minnesota. If you have questions about will preparation or are ready to start the process, contact Krista today 701.235.3300 or kandrews@andersonbottrell.com.
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NORTH LOCATION 701.232.9410 SOUTH LOCATION 701.232.9383
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august • september twenty fourteen | on the minds of moms
45
D
an Deutsch grew up in north Fargo with three siblings: his twin brother, Tommy, who had many medical issues and, sadly, passed away in 2004, an older brother, Joe, and younger sister, Elizabeth. Following gradu-
ation from Fargo North High, Dan earned a nursing degree from North Dakota State University and later worked as a nurse in the Critical Care unit at Sanford for seven years. Continuing his passion for the healthcare profession, Dan recently graduated from University of North Dakota with a Master in Physician Assistant Studies and began a new chapter in his life as a PA in Neurosurgery at Sanford Health this summer. Sharing a love of caring for people, Dan’s wife of seven years, Sarah, also works in healthcare. They have three kids, Stuart [5], and twins Sophie and Ellie [3]. Dan finds pure joy in watching his kids play sports, and when time allows he likes tying out new restaurants and catching a movie now and again with his family.
photos: rialee photography | ria czichotzki
rad dad
dan deutsch
rad dad
age 33, fargo.nd
you would never catch me…
going hunting. I have tried hunting numerous times, and I just can’t seem to get into it. It usually takes place early in the morning, and it is either cold and/ or wet. Neither of those appeals to me. I am happy to eat my friends’ left-over meat from their hunting excursions, though.
i’m not embarrassed to admit… I am terrified of birds. I was known to, perhaps, poke around at a bird’s nest or two as a child, and all those swooping birds have left me wary of the winged beasts. Sometimes I have to abandon mowing the lawn if there is a particular bird after me that day.
the habit i would like to break… my addiction to fast food. I end up paying for it on
the treadmill, but I really love to eat greasy burgers, chicken wings, and french fries.
the one gadget i can’t live without…
is our grill. It is my favorite way to cook. The best part: less clean up!
i’m not a big fan of… confrontation, loud music, vacuuming, or cantaloupe.
last song i sang to out-loud… “Let it Go” from the “Frozen” soundtrack; that is a daily occurrence on the way to daycare.
something i’m proud of myself for doing… the nights where I manage to get three kids fed, bathed, and to bed without any major injuries. With my wife and I both working in healthcare, there are a few nights where there is only one of us at home.
701.237.3009
Divorce
Abuse
Adoption
Gestational Agreements
Parenting Schedules
Collaborative Child and Negotiating Spousal Support
Prenuptial Agreements www.onthemindsofmoms.com
Paternity
Lawyers for Families
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august • september twenty fourteen | on the minds of moms
47
rad dad the one product i could be a spokesman for…
three things on my bucket list…
is any brand of sunflower seeds, as long as they are original flavor. I don’t mess around with those fancy flavors. I have an insatiable appetite for seeds, and I have been known to dominate an entire bag in one sitting.
1. See a football game at The Big House at University of Michigan 2. Attend a concert at The Grand Ole Opry 3. Eat a meal at The French Laundry in Napa, CA
my profession gives me…
would be that I was more musically inclined. I would love to play the guitar, but I was born without the ability to keep a beat. I guess I am destined to only listen to music.
a sense of satisfaction that I can help people improve their quality of life.
the daddy-do i have mastered… is the ‘pull as much hair up into one bunch at the top of their head.’ My kids affectionately call it the daisy.
something i see in my wife that she doesn’t… she has a fierce dedication to our family. She will do whatever it takes to make sure we are treated fairly and receive a fair shake. She is unafraid of confrontation and always puts our family first.
i could spend hours… watching my kids perform in their activities. It is so fun to watch them compete, and to perform as a part of a team.
if my wife could throw away anything of mine it would be…
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my alarm clock. It’s from the 1980s, and she thinks it looks hideous. I put it in my son’s room, and now he loves it. Hopefully that gives it a little security.
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on the minds of moms | august • september twenty fourteen
a talent i wish i had…
the quote i most relate to… there are actually two I think of when being a dad. The first is from Catherine M. Wallace, “Listen earnestly to anything your children want to tell you, no matter what. If you don't listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, they won't tell you the big stuff when they are big, because to them all of it has always been big stuff.” The second quote is from Shel Silverstein, “Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.”
Saakwa Mante, MD Asthma & Allergy Essentia Health South University Clinic Dr. Saakwa Mante, an allergist, has joined the Essentia Health-South University Clinic in Fargo, ND. Dr. Mante will care for both adults and children.
“The care I provide to my patients
“I enjoy my specialty because it allows me to exercise a wide array of diagnostic skills,” says Dr. Mante. “I look forward to starting my practice in Fargo and welcome the opportunity to care for the people in this community.”
their daily lives. Finding the right
Dr. Mante earned his medical degree from the University of Ghana Medical School in Accra, Ghana. He completed a residency in internal medicine at St. Luke’s-Roosevelt Hospital, New York, NY, and a fellowship in allergy and immunology at Yale School of Medicine in New Haven, CT. He is certified by the American Board of Medical Specialties in internal medicine and allergy/immunology.
that is very gratifying.” – Dr. Mante
To schedule an appointment with Dr. Mante, please call 701.364.8900.
To see his profile, go to EssentiaHealth.org and click on “Find a Medical Professional.”
can have a profound impact on kind of treatment can ultimately improve their quality of life, and
food for thought
jerk chicken & mango tacos shared by | otmom
H
ere we are, the summer sizzle of grill time is winding down and the rat race of back-to-school and the weeknight rush to activities means dinner details are about to kick our you-know-whats. Let’s make it easy. The beauty of this recipe idea is that it can be made in bulk, stored for multiple meals, and comes with big flavor and only six ingredients. We promise these tacos will end up being more than just another go-to weeknight recipe. They are a shining example of how a little creativity can set you up for success in your busy family’s kitchen.
you need: 3 cups cooked shredded chicken ¼ cup Jamaican jerk marinade or jerk barbecue sauce 2 tablespoons water 8 corn tortillas Diced mangos Chopped cilantro how to: 1. Toss shredded chicken with marinade and water. 2. In a medium pot, warm the mixture over medium heat until heated through. 3. Pile chicken onto 8 corn tortillas and top with diced mangos and chopped cilantro.
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feeds: 4
photo: thuen studios | scott thuen
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on the minds of moms | august • september twenty fourteen
food for thought
www.onthemindsofmoms.com
where are they now
photos: exposures by j.linnea | josette hayes
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on the minds of moms | august • september twenty fourteen
where are they now
kelli medders a journey to be
decem ber
∙ ja
nuary twenty ten /ele ven
w w w.ont
heminds
ofmoms.c om
story by | otmom
W
www.onthemindsofmoms.com
e first met Kelli Medders and her family, husband Jason and children Wyatt, Callie, and Sadie, back in 2010 when we featured their story of growing their family and following God’s plan. In 2007 Kelli became one in 15 million to conceive quadruplets naturally. Both thrilled and terrified, the couple settled in for months of bed rest and appointments and leaned on the power of prayer to see them through a journey that would test their faith. After suffering the ultimate loss of three of their daughters during early pregnancy and premature delivery, Kelli and Jason prayed over Callie, the only surviving quad.
the valley ’s odern resourcm e for tod ay’s pare nt
august • september twenty fourteen | on the minds of moms
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where are they now Through the guidance of medical care and the Lord, Callie grew into a beautiful little girl who eventually became a big sister to Sadie. Today, three years later, much has changed for the Medders family – now a family of eight, adding younger siblings, Watson, Elsie, and Wilson. Busier than they have ever been, Kelli is quick to say, “Just because we are a family with six [or more] kids, doesn’t mean we’re crazy. Our family might be one tent short of a full-blown circus, but we wouldn’t have it any other way.” how did adoption come about for you? Through a variety of circumstances and experiences, we felt certain that God wanted us to grow our family through adoption, and we began pursuing that option. About nine months after we started our adoption journey, we brought Watson home from Texas. After adopting Watson, Elsie was born. At that time, with
just because we are a family with six [or more] kids, doesn’t mean we’re crazy. our family might be one tent short of a full-blown circus, but we
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wouldn’t have it any other way.
five children, we figured our family was complete. We began to give away the baby items that we knew we’d no longer need, and started to settle into the “routine” of having five kids. God had other plans for our family. In late October of last year, we received a call from the agency through which we adopted Watson. Watson’s birth mother was expecting again, and asked if we’d be willing to adopt his younger sibling. After a few days of prayerful contemplation, we decided to move
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on the minds of moms | august • september twenty fourteen
forward with adopting another child. It was a very quick turnaround time, though. We received the phone call in late October, the baby was born in November, and on December 2 we were in Texas picking up Wilson to add to our family. The first time we went looking for the adoption and the second time the adoption came looking for us. introduce us to the Medders Crew. Wyatt – 9 Wyatt is somewhat soft spoken and he’s tenderhearted. He LOVES to read and does so almost constantly. He enjoys riding his bike and playing whiffle ball in the front yard. He can be a bit of a ringleader, especially among the Medders children. Unlike most nine-year olds, he prefers carrots to cookies. Callie – 6 Given all that she’s been through, it’s a miracle that Callie is with us today, let alone that she’s doing so well in spite of all her early setbacks. She has a feisty spirit and perseveres. She is a great helper to Wilson and Elsie and is the one who lets us know when Watson is being mischievous. She currently wants to be a goat or sheep farmer when she grows up. Sadie – 4 Sadie is a study in opposites. She absolutely loves to roughhouse and wrestle, play in the dirt barefoot, ride her bicycle, and dig for worms in the back yard. However, she prefers to do these things in a dress or a tutu, with ribbons in her hair. Watson – 2 Look up “strong-willed child” in a book and you’ll see a great description of Watson. He’s very determined and headstrong. He does everything full-speed ahead. Like many two-year olds, he wears his emotions on his sleeve. Given the opportunity, he’d eat from sunup to sundown without ever taking a break. Elsie – 14 months Though small, she knows she’s [slightly] bigger than Wilson. Therefore, she gets a kick out of aggravating him every chance she gets. She’s in no hurry to walk, but chooses instead to “bear crawl,” allowing only the palms of her hands and the soles of her feet to touch the ground. Wilson – 7 months Good gracious, this child is FULL of joy! He’s very laid
back, happy-go-lucky, easy going, and full of laughter. Rather than sucking on a pacifier or thumb like many children do, Wilson prefers to chew and suck on the corner of his favorite swaddling blankets. He belly laughs any time he hears Wyatt burp.
when it comes to your family, what makes you beam with pride? We beam with pride when people tell us our children are well behaved.
Read Kelli’s December 2010-January 2011 cover story in its entirety here: www.onthemindsofmoms.com/past-issues/
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where do you see the Medders family in 5 years? Obviously, given recent circumstances, we hesitate to say we are finished adopting children. We think we are, and don’t plan to adopt again, but if we were called and asked again, we would give it very serious consideration. As far as having any more biological children, as Jason says, “I’ll bet you a pair of scissors and a bag of frozen peas that we’re finished with that!” More kids or not, we love our north Fargo neighborhood. Jason loves working at NDSU and I love being a homemaker. If it’s up to us, we’ll still be in the same place, doing the same thing, five years from now. The only difference is that our kids will be a little older [and we will, too].
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how do you keep the memory of Annika, Daley, and Berkley alive in the hearts of their brothers and sisters? We actually talk of them often. Each year for her birthday, Callie gets four Christmas ornaments that are all very similar. She knows that one is for her and the other three are for her sisters. Wyatt already understands the significance of his other sisters that he never spent time with. Callie is rather in tune to the situation, and will sometimes tell us that she’s been thinking or dreaming about her sisters. Sometimes she is sad that they aren’t here with us and other times she just asks us questions about them – how big they were at birth, who was born first, etc. We have kid-friendly photo albums about the girls that we share with our children when they are old enough. Sadie is just at the age that she’s beginning to ask questions about them. Watson, Elsie, and Wilson are still too young to understand, but as they grow we will share with them the significance of their other sisters.
did you know
work, breastfeeding
& your rights
story by | stephannie stiel
www.onthemindsofmoms.com
H
aving a baby, although for the most part a joyous occurrence, can be hard work and creates many responsibilities for new moms and dads. One of the last things we should have to worry about as new parents is feeding our babies outside the comforts of our home when we choose to breastfeed. So what are the rights of nursing mothers to feed their babies in public and to express breast milk for their babies once returning to work? The Federal government and many states recognize the benefits of breastfeeding and have enacted specific laws to protect activities that allow new mothers to continue breastfeeding when away from the home and when returning to work. federal law Federal law under the Fair Labor Standards Act requires 56
on the minds of moms | august • september twenty fourteen
employers to provide reasonable break time for an employee subject to the Act to express breast milk for one year after the child’s birth each time the employee has a need to express the milk. Employers are also required to provide a place, other than a bathroom, that is shielded from view and free from intrusion from coworkers and the public, which may be used by an employee to express breast milk. If the employer employs less than 50 employees, the employer is not subject to these requirements if it would impose an undue hardship causing the employer significant difficulty or expense. Only employees who are not exempt from the Fair Labor Standards Act overtime pay requirements are entitled to breaks to express milk under this law. state law In North Dakota a woman acting in a discrete manner has the right to breastfeed her child in any location,
did you know public or private, where the woman and child are otherwise authorized to be. North Dakota also allows employers to use an "infant-friendly" designation for workplaces that adopt breastfeeding- support policies. The policy must include the following: • Flexibility to allow for break times for expression of breast milk; • A clean private space that is not a bathroom for breastfeeding or expression of breast milk; • Access to a clean water source for washing hands and cleaning breast-pump equipment; • Access to a clean place for appropriately storing breast milk temporarily. In Minnesota a mother may breastfeed in any location, public or private, where the mother and child are otherwise authorized to be. Employers in Minnesota must provide employees reasonable unpaid break time each day to express breast milk for an infant child as long as it does not unduly disrupt the operations of the employer. The employer must make reasonable efforts to provide a room or other location in close proximity to
the work area, other than a bathroom or a toilet stall, that is shielded from view and free from intrusion of coworkers and the public and that includes access to an electrical outlet where the employee can express her milk in privacy. Although these laws are a good start, educating employers and businesses on what new mothers need for accommodation will go a long way in creating more “infant-friendly” businesses and employers. If you don’t ask for an accommodation, chances are the business or employer won’t know that one is needed and you won’t get the accommodation you desire. Whether you need a chair, an electrical outlet, or just a room that locks, be sure to speak up, to be creative, and to just ask. Stephannie Stiel is an attorney and a mother of four children. She has been practicing law with Conmy Feste Ltd [conmylaw.com] in Fargo for 10 years. As part of her practice, Stephannie offers clients counseling on employment matters, including the drafting of employee handbooks. Stephannie is also the president and co-founder of the North Dakota chapter of Hands & Voices, an organization that supports families who have children who are deaf or hard-of-hearing.
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just a thought
freedom to
play
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story by | kathleen wrigley
W
hen I was a little girl, we played outside all summer long, sunup to sundown. I lived in a row house. Our households and our lives were literally connected. The street lights were our curfew. We played sprint, dodge-ball, and tag with mixed-age neighborhood kids. I learned how to whistle—more like a piercing screech—with both my fingers shoved in my mouth [this has served me well]. We rode our bikes to the community pool, accompanied only by a towel and a quarter for a pretzel from the vendor. And—at least once a week—the teenagers would crank the fire hydrants to
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on the minds of moms | august • september twenty fourteen
just a thought full blast and we’d splash like bandits. The high-pressure water propelled us into the middle of the street. We’d get back in line for another chance, until the police squad car or fire truck would pull up and ruin our fun. Everyone scattered like hooligans, hiding under cars or running home…until next time. And though we ran and hid in fear, no one ever got in trouble. The patrol officers expected these calls on scorching summer days. Then at night the adult conversations and laughter from the connecting porches filtered through the open windows and into our homes.
by gradually reducing our kids’ chances to adventurously play, we are chipping away at opportunities for them to learn Independent, outside play was an important part of summer. We explored in all sorts of ways, without the overly cautious, watchful eyes of doting parents. We overcame boredom on our own, using our imaginations. We tested boundaries, got into trouble, and then learned how to find our way out of it. The freedom to play outside brought wisdom and well-earned lessons. We didn’t know it, but those long summer days were experience in social and practical skills, self-discipline and curiosity, and passion for exploring.
There is a variety of reasons for the decline in outside play, but the result—over time—is dramatic and unquestionable. By gradually reducing our kids’ chances to adventurously play, we are chipping away at opportunities for them to learn. Their creative juices are stifled. The chance for them to take initiative and find limitations is diminished. When they play outside, on their own, kids make rules and monitor who follows them, promoting self-regulation. The physical and social skills they develop will last a lifetime. Not to mention the memories they’ll build. I have to wonder about the increased trends of childhood obesity and mental health issues, both of which have a direct link to outside playtime. Dr. Peter Gray, a psychologist and research professor at Boston College says that, “Childhood mental disorders have been increasing.” Hello, mass shootings. He goes on to assert that according to his research, “It’s not just that we’re seeing disorders that we overlooked before. Clinical questionnaires aimed at assessing anxiety and depression, for example, have been given in unchanged form to normative groups of schoolchildren in the US since the 1950s…and the results reveal that the continuous,
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Nowadays, kids are too often micro-managed by grown-ups. Today’s adult-directed sports have replaced neighborhood “pickup” games. There are adult-directed camps and organizations for hobbies like Legos and arts and crafts. Today’s parents often forbid children from going out to play unsupervised and away from home because of their own fears. I get it. I often hover, too. It’s a great big, dangerous, world out there.
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At the risk of oversimplifying the consequences and in an attempt to start a conversation about this trend, the research cannot be ignored. Kids are turning inward. They’re communicating with each other electronically instead of face-to-face. They’re sitting inside being entertained by games on their hand-held devices or watching TV. Fewer hours are devoted to outdoor, self-governing play with peers.
PARK CHRISTIAN SCHOOL
just a thought essentially linear, increase in anxiety and depression in young people are five times what they were in the 1950s…and the suicide rate for children under age 15 has quadrupled.” Quadrupled. This is staggering. This researcher and so many others link the decrease of unsupervised outdoor play as a major contributor to these dismal trends for our kiddos. I wrestle with and fight the urge—on a daily basis—to be the helicopter mom. We are barraged with a constant dose of bad-news stories. It’s gripping. Knowing the dangers in our world and wanting to protect our children from them can be paralyzing. But whom are we paralyzing? Talk about helicopter mom. As I write this column, I’m resisting the itch to rent my own helicopter to hover over the scout camp in Minnesota where our 11-year-old son, Patrick, is on his fourth day of camping, without us. It’s his first week-long trip, and he’s five hours away from home—one hour by helicopter, if mom’s piloting. Because of scheduling conflicts with his own troop, he tagged along with his cousin’s Fargo troop. He doesn’t know any of the leaders or other kids. And unless there’s
an emergency, we won’t hear from him until we pick him up. On Friday. Just two more sleeps. Know what kinda bugs me? I bet he’s having a blast and is discovering new feathers in his life-launch wings. It’s been raining all week. My husband, Drew, has been tracking every drop. He told me last night, “Well, after three straight days of rain, it finally stopped—according to my radar—at 10 tonight.” Every night this week, I went to bed and wondered what our son was doing. He must be safe. Has he made friends? How many merit badges has he earned? Then I pray for him. I pray that he remembered all the camping, first-aid, and other tips his Eagle Scout dad schooled him on. I hope that the full-sized backpack he’s using—the same one Drew used as a young scout—makes him feel like a part of home is with him. I know this is an extraordinary learning experience for him—and for his mom, too. He’ll be forced to be independent and self-sufficient. And he’ll have fun. Just before he left, I stood outside his bedroom door listening as he and Drew went through a checklist. He told Patrick: “You will make mistakes this week. Expect them. Don’t get down on yourself. We all make mistakes. But learn from them, Patrick. And you’ll be fine. It’ll be wet. Hang your wet clothes in your tent to dry. Keep the tent door closed. And have fun.” This might be the extreme of outdoor play. The memories and the lessons Patrick will learn at scout camp this week will last a lifetime. Thankfully, no one is calculating and recording mom’s anxiety level as I force myself to go against an overpowering urge to hover and protect my child from the freedom to play. The freedom to fail… to get hurt…to rise up…dust off…and learn.
www.onthemindsofmoms.com
Kathleen serves on a number of community and statewide boards, committees, and leadership councils, and enjoys volunteering in church, in her kids’ school, and community programs/events. Kathleen is passionate about victims’ rights and helping to promote balance and fairness in the criminal justice system. She is also deeply interested in advocacy, education, programs, and research relating to the protection of children. Fitness is an integral part of Kathleen’s daily routine and helps her sustain her own mental health! Kathleen’s column “ just a thought” has been a regularly occurring piece in “on the minds of moms” since 2009. This Philadelphia native is married to a fourth-generation North Dakotan and ND’s Lieutenant Governor, Drew, and proudly considers North Dakota her home. They have three children. Before becoming a mom, she was director for Bismarck’s Child Advocacy Center and was a speechwriter. Kathleen received a BS from Pennsylvania State University and completed her graduate studies at Temple University in Philadelphia.
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on the minds of moms | august • september twenty fourteen
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N E W C L I E N T S O N LY + M U S T P R E S E N T A D
photos: rialee photography | ria czichotzki
giving hope heidi odegaard
story by | sheri kleinsasser stockmoe
A
s Heidi Odegaard approached the tall white apartment building, she noticed the children playing soccer in the open area with a makeshift ball made from whatever garbage they had found. She climbed the two flights of stairs to Pastor Tesfaye’s home. She sat on the beige tweed loveseat and intently listened to the stories of his childhood and the people he has devoted his life to helping. She soaked it all in. Each story was heartbreaking. Each picture spoke volumes. She had only been in this foreign country a few days, but she could feel her heart changing. This place with so many challenges, hardships, and poverty was also displaying so much beauty. Without a second thought, she looked into his eyes and asked, “What do you need? How can I help you?” And before he could answer, she declared, “I will help you!”
giving hope Looking back, things were just as they should be for Heidi Odegaard. Happily married to Brett, her college sweetheart, they lived outside Hickson, North Dakota, on the family farm with their three beautiful daughters, Kennedy [18], Jensen [15], and Este [11]. “I think my family is great,” gushes Este. “Trust me, we fight, but we always make up in the end! And we’re always behind each other supporting whatever it is that is in our crazy heads!” Heidi has her college degree in Social Work and, while she has maintained her license, for the most part she has been a stay-at-home mom for many years -- a role she doesn’t take lightly. “Being a good mother is what is most important to her,” Brett says.
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Heidi describes her childhood as “complicated” and has been committed to creating a memory bank full of happy birthdays, vacations, holiday traditions, and a surplus of family time for her children, because it wasn’t like that for her. Growing up, Heidi and her four younger siblings were exposed to instability, domestic violence, and addiction. “That’s probably the reason I became a social worker,” she states matter-of-factly about her innate desire to help others.
Has My Heart…’ and she wrote something to the effect that she met her brother. My husband and I read it, laughed, and thought, ‘Oh, that’s cute.’ She was talking about this boy she had met.” Kennedy met Wasihun [wah-saw-hoon, Wasi [wah-see] for short], 12, while visiting Korah [core-ah]. Korah is one of the poorest communities in Addis Ababa and is located on and around the city's main garbage dump. The people there scavenge through the dump for food to eat, clothing to wear, and items to construct makeshift homes. Korah is the poorest of the poor. It spans only a two-mile radius, but contains over 120,000 people. Many of the people living in Korah have leprosy, HIV, and TB. Visiting Korah was simply “heart-wrenching,” Kennedy recalls. Seeing the living conditions of the people there brought her to tears. A couple days later Kennedy had another blog post titled ’And Then There Were TWO.’ “Right when I read the title, I started laughing and thought, ‘Oh, she's so funny,’” Heidi chuckles at the memory. Kennedy had met Natenael [Nah-tah-neye-ol, Nati [nah-tee] for short], 14. He and Wasi were best friends. Both of the boys’ parents had passed away and they were living in desperate conditions.
“I'm always learning new things about and through her,” says Lisa Cramer of her friend Heidi. “She is inquisitive “Wasi told me his life story [Nati was not yet speaking and thoughtful. The good times in Heidi's life make English]. His living conditions, family situation, and her eyes twinkle and the hard times only make her the death of his parents years back all broke my heart, but it was the joy and hope he had that blew me away,” stronger. She uses every situation for learning and Kennedy says. “According to the world he had nothing, enjoys a challenge." but he was spiritually rich. He has a faith like no one Yes, things were just as they should be for Heidi and I have ever seen before and not only did that greatly her family until…“A year ago,” she says with a sigh touch my heart but it also inspired me in my walk and wistful grin. “I never could have imagined how with the Lord.” our lives would change.” Kennedy returned home with a changed heart, Heidi giving passion remembers. “She was planning on enrolling at a fashion Last summer a mission trip to Ethiopia was planned institute in LA, but she came home and was no longer through a couple at their church. “Kennedy just really interested in that. She wanted to sell everything she had, felt God's calling to go,” Heidi says. The oldest Odegaard graduate high school early, and go straight to Ethiopia daughter left July 13, 2013, with 13 other people destined and do mission work. We were like ‘whoa, whoa, whoa!’” for Addis Ababa, the capital city of Ethiopia. As any mother can understand, Heidi was nervous, anxious, While she respected her daughter’s passion, Heidi and excited for her daughter and was thrilled to hear didn’t want Kennedy making a rash decision. She also every detail of her ten-day adventure. wanted her to have “the college experience.” After much consideration, Kennedy was allowed to graduate early, “While Kennedy was there she was writing a blog, and but she had to spend at least a year in college before since we weren't able to talk much, we would read her continuing her education online. She agreed and is blog,” Heidi says. “One day her blog was titled ‘Wasihun
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giving hope
www.onthemindsofmoms.com
august • september twenty fourteen | on the minds of moms
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giving hope enrolled at the University of Northwestern in Saint Paul, majoring in nonprofit administration.
out with such a guarded heart, but I quickly grew to love them.” Maybe Kennedy was right about these boys?
Kennedy also continued to talk to her mom about Nati and Wasi. “At first I just thought it was cute and funny,” Heidi recalls, but she also reached out to the organization Kennedy had traveled with to see if the boys were in need of sponsors. “We were told they desperately needed sponsors, so we started sponsoring them.”
Months earlier the family had made plans for a December vacation to Jamaica. “We were going to go to the Beaches Resort as a splurge for Kennedy's senior year. Well, we decided we should go to Ethiopia instead, mostly to honor Kennedy, because her heart was there, and we just wanted to make sure she would be safe if she served there. She changed so much after her visit there, we just had to see for ourselves.” And they could meet Nati and Wasi.
Kennedy pushed her mom for more. Through the local
we were going to go to the beaches resort as a splurge for kennedy's senior year. well, we decided we should go to ethiopia instead, mostly to honor kennedy, because her heart was there, and we just wanted to make sure she would be safe if she served there
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pastor’s office, the boys had access to email. She wanted her mom to start communicating with them. “Yes, there are so many precious children in need of a family, but the Lord placed it directly on my heart that Wasi and Nati were my brothers. The hard part was convincing my parents that they had two more children!” Kennedy says with a laugh. “Kennedy was really begging me to email them, but I was so apprehensive,” Heidi confesses. As resistive as she was, something told her she should email. “Finally I did, but I was very guarded." And what happened? “I guess the best way to describe it is falling in love online,” she explains. “You hear of people who fall in love and then they meet? I started
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giving love December 27, 2013, all five Odegaards left for Ethiopia. “We were there ten days, but we didn't build a school or build a well or anything like that. Our mission was all about loving on people,” Heidi says. “We would just go to different ministries every day, maybe two or three a day, and serve. One ministry we handed out chickens to widows and their children. Another we went to orphanages and held babies. It was a mission of love. I probably gave out five hundred hugs! Just loved on people and brought a lot of donations.” The Odegaards could see how this place had changed Kennedy. “For a mission trip like ours, the goal is that you connect with one of the ministries and you go home and you share about it with others or you continue to support it any way you can. Even if it's prayer, if you can't help financially, then you can really pray for the ministry. Korah really touched our hearts. I had already been talking to Pastor Tesfaye [tess-fay] there. He was the one who started giving Nati and Wasi English lessons, and he distributes sponsorship food and donation items. We were in close email contact regarding the boys. I have never met anybody who's such pure love. He is truly an Earth angel." Pastor Tesfaye knows the importance of families like the Odegaards. He grew up in Korah and was accustomed to scrounging through the dump for his daily needs as his mother was a leper and unable to provide for the family. Sponsors allowed him to get necessary medical care and nutrition as a young boy and later helped him attend college. “Pastor Tesfaye has two degrees,” Heidi says. “He’s a very intelligent man, but instead of pursuing Engineering he decided to serve his people in Korah.” Heidi and Brett sat with Pastor Tesfaye for hours listening to his stories and goals. “We just really respect what
giving hope he’s doing for his people,” Heidi says. “We respect his work and we believe in what he’s doing. We could see he was burdened and we just wanted to lift him up.” That’s when Heidi said she would help him. “Yes, I trusted her,” says Pastor Tesfaye, remembering the promise Heidi made. “She was very full of compassion and kindness for my community. I have seen her integrity on that time of our discussion at my home for Korah people’s future life. Yes, I trust her!” But how would she do it? giving five Before returning home Heidi asked Pastor Tesfaye to send her some of his pictures and stories. Then she could put them on Facebook and work on finding sponsors. “Because sponsorship really is a good first step to help people rebuild their lives,” Heidi explains. But she knew from experience it wouldn’t be easy. “I tried to find sponsors for 16 orphans around Christmas time,” she says. “I know so many people, and I could only find sponsors for four. So I knew how this might go down. It can be difficult for people to commit to 35 or 50 dollars a month, which is a typical sponsorship fee.” Then she had an idea. What if people could pool their money? “I thought, ‘How about five dollars a month?’” she recalls. “That’s 60 dollars for the year. That’s doable. And that’s how it started.” Project Give Five is a volunteer-driven nonprofit focused on empowering impoverished families and breaking the cycle of poverty, starting with those in Korah. Individuals can give a minimum of five dollars a month or provide a full sponsorship of $50 per month. The program isn’t an indefinite sponsorship, but rather a three-year program for those it helps. "Our first "project" is Korah but we would like to grow and help other families in need around the world," states Heidi. “Pastor Tesfaye chooses families who want to help themselves. Project Give Five partners with these families to help them rebuild their lives,” Heidi explains. “The first year is strictly sponsorship to help them get proper nutrition and just keep them mentally and physically healthy. The next
www.onthemindsofmoms.com
giving hope
year they learn income-generating skills. There's not a lot you can do there—it's the second poorest country in the world—but there are things, whether it is learning embroidery or just learning how to make their cultural food, Injera [a type of bread], or selling juice, those sorts of things. They are also required to save five American dollars each month they are on the program." Pastor Tesfaye sees Project Give Five doing big things. It’s an opportunity to “eradicate poverty, bring hope, and give new life.”
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on the minds of moms | august • september twenty fourteen
“People need those tangible things of sponsorship, but they also need pride,” Heidi says. “They need to feel good about themselves, and so it can't just be sponsorship, it has to be us helping them, empowering them to rebuild their lives and giving them hope for a future. So far the families that we're working with are just wonderful, so maybe people will graduate early, but we know these first years will involve some trial and error.” While Heidi came up with the name and concept of Project Give Five, she doesn’t think it is her creation. “I
giving hope just really feel like this is God,” she confidently states. “Project Give Five is God's and I'm just the worker bee." Heidi filed the necessary paperwork to establish Project Give Five as a nonprofit and began assembling a board of local volunteers. “I love our board!” Heidi exclaims. “They just have the biggest hearts for helping others.” “Heidi’s passion and love was contagious,” recalls Julie Thorstad about when she was approached to serve on the board. “Heidi is one of the most positive, generous, compassionate, and non-judgmental women you will ever meet. I was so honored to be asked to be a part of this incredible project.” Project Give Five has been able to help 20 families to date. The goal is 50. Five hundred people committing to a minimum of five dollars per month will reach that goal.
project give five has been able to help 20 families to date. the goal is 50 of Project Give Five—then I have a peace and a calm. But if I start to try to shoulder everything...I think of Pastor Tesfaye and focus in.” She also thinks about her boys.
Brett is confident Project Give Five will be successful and reach its goal, “Because it was formed and is operated on faith in God.” And Heidi agrees.
giving family While the Odegaards participated in their ten-day mission, the family spent as much time as they could with Nati and Wasi. “After a few days we learned there really was no future for them in Ethiopia.” Brett recalls.
“When I'm scared or nervous or feeling ill equipped [because it's a lot!], I try to go back to God. I feel overwhelmed if I start to think it's my thing, but when I tell myself this is God's thing, I'm just the worker—God is the founder
Heidi was very serious about bringing the boys to live with them before their trip to Ethiopia, “But I didn't push Brett,” she says. “I didn't want to convince him because what if it didn't work later, or what if there's
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PG5 you can help! Project Give Five encourages people to help their neighbors; help locally and nationally but to also have a worldview for helping. We are so crazy blessed simply because we were born in the US and God calls us to help others with our blessings. The goal is 50 families. We Can Do It! Five Hundred people committing to giving only $5 per month. Giving up just one coffee shop purchase a month can make an impact. Are you ready to give five? Visit the Project Give Five website [www.projectgivefive.com] for more information and the opportunity to donate and make a difference today!
trouble. It had to be a joint decision...it had to be a family decision. And I didn’t make any promises to the boys.” As the boys opened up more about their lives, Heidi and Brett would simply look at each other, knowing exactly what the other was thinking. The real convincing came from Pastor Tesfaye. “Pastor Tesfaye is such a gentle, soft-spoken man, but he was so adamant and so firm,” Heidi remembers. “And he's one who would never ask for anything, so when he asks for something, you listen! He said, ‘If there's any way that you can help these boys, if there's any way that they can come to America, please, please.’” The Odegaards also met with four respected men in the community to get their take on the situation. “How do you feel about this American couple coming and taking these boys to America?” she recalls asking. “Because I'm a social worker, I wanted to put a lot of weight on their culture. Is it best for them to stay there and for us to continue to sponsor them so that they can have the best life they can there, or is it best for them to come home with us? They would say, ‘There's nothing here for them. There's no hope. There's no life.’ I always want to do what's best for the boys.” The best decision? The boys would join the Odegaard family. “I really felt we needed to bring them back to America to not only help them, but so maybe someday they could help their people back in Ethiopia,” says Brett. Nati and Wasi were granted student visas and joined the Odegaard family in every conceivable fashion in March 2014. “It was a miserable life in Korah,“ remembers Wasi. “Life without enough food, shelter, and clothes.” That has changed for these two boys. The best part of living in America? “I get my family and I get a good school, sisters, and friends,” states Nati. "First, having a family and then getting enough food, shelter, and clothing. Getting a lot of love," adds Wasi.
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Heidi and Brett are responsible for the boys physically, financially, and emotionally, which means there have been changes for the family. The boys attend school at Oak Grove Lutheran School rather than in Kindred with the girls. While Heidi has always been there for her girls to get them ready and off to school as well as welcome them home at the end of the day, she now needs to leave early in order to get the boys to Fargo before the bell rings and returns later after school and extracurricular activities. She is also looking to rejoin the 70
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giving hope workforce this fall to help shoulder some of the added struggle or hardship in their lives," Brett says. financial burden of their expanded family. Yes, there “In short, she is a Godly woman,” Pastor Tesfaye says have been changes, but there isn’t any second guessing of his friend. when it comes to adding Nati and Wasi to their family. “We love them. I love them like I birthed them,” says Heidi. “There's no difference between them and our girls. I mean, it's been so natural. Surprisingly natural. That's why I know we are following God’s plan. When it feels like this, it's got to be a God thing!” Jensen agrees. “I think our family is closer now with Nati and Wasi. I couldn’t imagine my life without them!” giving herself Kind, giving, selfless, committed, honest, passionate, trustworthy…these are the common characteristics those closest to Heidi use to describe her.
“Heidi makes me want to be a better person and reach out to others more,” says Lisa. “She believes that God has a plan for each of us and she tries the best she can to let Him work through her.” She started Project Give Five not to shine light on herself, but to use her gifts to help shed light on the need in Korah. She brought two boys out of a poverty-stricken country to offer them hope, a future, and a mother’s love. “She is a strong woman,” states Wasi. “She is my first mom and she is a great mom so far,” adds Nati. Heidi admits she has a bleeding heart to help others, but looking at the last year even surprises her.
“People should know how truly beautiful Heidi is,” says “It's crazy,” Heidi admits. “I mean, if I think about it too Julie. “Not only on the outside but also, most importantly, hard, whoa! We've done something really crazy; we on the inside.” have shaken up our family; I’ve started this nonprofit… “I am most proud of Heidi for the kind, generous person it’s crazy what we have done! It can be scary…but it feels so right.” she is. She is always wanting to help someone with a
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N ight In First N
ready, set, grow
healthy, happy body image
ready, set, grow
story by | patricia carlson
I
t begins innocently enough. People remark your daughter is beautiful and before you know it, she’s practicing a hair flip and pouting her glossed-up lips into the mirror or cell phone. Your son puffs out his chest when folks call him handsome and compliment his baseball swing. You’re pleased they feel confident and good about themselves. Then—BAM!—they start to notice things that set them apart from their peers and these differences start to eat away at their youthful bravado. Here’s what you need to know to help them keep a healthy and happy body image.
ready se erections occur even in utero right along with hiccups and thumb sucking
wee ones [0–18 months]
W
hat an awesome body I have! That thought is roaring through the minds of our precious babes all the time at this point in their young lives. I have fingers! They can pick things up and make a cool noise when I put them together. These toes are awesome! I can grab them and put them in my mouth if I want! And then, what’s this? I can walk!!!! And who is that adorable little kid who always shows up when my mommy holds me up to that shiny thing? self-recognition Most babies will recognize themselves in the mirror by 15 months. Before then, glancing in a mirror is simply a fun game to play. You can tell your baby is starting to recognize himself if you clip something to his shirt.
Does he reach for the mirror or for the object on his shirt? If it’s the latter, then your boy has made the leap toward self-recognition. Your kiddo might also be quite curious with what’s going on ‘down there.’ It’s totally natural for little guys to touch and grab their penis and for little girls to feel their vagina. Erections are normal, too. Even if you’re uncomfortable or embarrassed, remember that this is your child’s first real lesson in healthy body acceptance. Use proper language, monitor your facial expressions and voice, and try to keep anger or disappointment out of your emotions.
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girls need a positive role model. eat right, exercise, deal with stress in healthy ways, and don’t use drugs, alcohol, or cigarettes.
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Y
our little sponge is absorbing everything, including what you say and what you eat. It’s important that your child hears you speak positively about your own body and food choices. Negative comments will impact them, girls in particular, even at this early stage. You’ll also want to keep a careful eye on the images your children are exposed to and take time to discuss what you both see. self-gratification We’re all for healthy self-exploration, but we totally understand why your cheeks blush when you discover your 2 ½-year-old pleasuring himself at the local playdate. This is a good opportunity to discuss public versus private. Instead of shaming him, which can affect his
self-esteem, try telling him that’s something he can do in private, on his own. Bath time with siblings or friends can pose another hurdle. They may become aware that their body parts are different and want to touch them. Use anatomically correct terms like penis or vagina and explain that every boy and girl has one. This helps them understand that penises and vaginas are normal, healthy parts of the body. Again, you can reiterate that those body parts are private and shouldn’t be touched by other people.
sources: kidshealth.org | womenshealth.gov | Girlshealth.gov WebMD.com | schoolfamily.com | parents.com todaysparent.com
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ready se the american academy of pediatrics [AAP] recommends that kids under 2 years old not watch any TV
preschoolers [3–5 years]
D
on’t be surprised if you find your daughter caked in makeup and dressed up as Cinderella...or whatever other female cartoon character has captured her attention. A 2013 study conducted by Nickelodeon concludes that the average American child watches a whopping 35 hours of television a week. That means our preschoolers are being bombarded with images of what it means to be a girl or a boy, what it means to be pretty or masculine, and what is attractive. Yes, even at this tender age, when many kiddos are still enjoying afternoon naps, they are also becoming keenly aware of what society tells them girls and boys find attractive. self-love You can help them maintain a healthy body image:
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on the minds of moms | august • september twenty fourteen
• Focus on their efforts. Mention how hard they’re working at a specific task. • Offer praise for things like determination and resilience. When your child has mastered something new after several failed attempts, this is a great time to talk about perseverance. • Use adjectives that don’t focus on physical attributes like pretty or handsome [grandparents and strangers will probably do enough of that for you!]. • Engage in imaginative play with your kiddos. This will help you gauge what your child is thinking or feeling about looks and the opposite or same sex. If your daughter constantly remarks that only the “pretty” doll will get “married,” you can have an age-appropriate talk about what those terms actually mean.
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some experts say girls and boys as young as 8 years old start to cultivate their body image.
big kids [6–9 years]
S
chool can be a wonderful thing - learning! exposure to new things! field trips! But it can also be your child’s first real taste of meanness. By this age kids know the power of their words and understand how to use them to hurt people. The social pecking order starts now.
• Volunteer at or participate in an event for people with disabilities. Your kiddo might see folks racing in wheelchairs, deaf children communicating with one another in sign language, or people on the autism spectrum singing as a chorus.
self-doubt If your child comes home from school and shouts, “I’m ugly!” don’t be surprised. These little kids are flooded with images from TV, websites, magazines, and other media sources that directly impact healthy physical and social development. Girls see thin women and think that is what beauty is. Boys see male athletes performing incredible feats and think that’s what makes a man. The pervasive lack of diversity and stereotyped masculine/feminine qualities in how women and men are portrayed in media sources can lead impressionable minds into one-track thinking.
These examples are active, fun, and interesting ways to show your kids that people come in all different shapes, sizes, colors, and abilities instead of simply lecturing them about it [which we know sounds like ‘blah blah blah’ to elementary schoolers]!
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Exposing your kids to different activities, races, and cultures is a great way to broaden their horizons... and yours, too! • Attend a religious service different from your own. • Check out art exhibits. The cool thing about art is that it all looks different and portrays bodies in various ways. A Picasso painting will look miles away from a Degas or a Frida Kahlo. What a great way to talk about what ‘normal’ is!
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ready se penises come in different sizes, shapes, and colors. these traits are hereditary, like eye color or foot size, and there's nothing you can do to change them
tweeners [10–12 years]
U
gh. This is where things get really tough. Because even if, as a parent, you’ve done all the things we’ve talked about, peer pressure is a nasty beast. Not to mention puberty and the incredible physical changes your son or daughter is going through. These tween years are truly tricky.
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self-esteem If you share a bathroom with your tween, good luck getting in there during these formative years. Your kid will be obsessed with looks - theirs and others’. Don’t worry, this is totally natural. Their bodies are changing so rapidly that they need to spend time examining themselves and exploring the new person staring back at them in the mirror. They will likely be very hard on themselves and compare their physical appearance to what they see in the media and among their friends. If they don’t look ‘right,’
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they can get down on themselves very quickly and their self-esteem can start to suffer. Instead of dismissing or demeaning this newfound obsession with looks [which may only bruise egos further], try to understand what they’re experiencing [just don’t expect them to want to talk to you too much about it!]. • bathroom blues Go ahead and let your tween spend as much time in the bathroom as he or she needs. She might be practicing new hairstyles or trying out makeup. He might be flexing muscles or checking the size of his penis. This is all healthy and normal. Remember, there is a new person in there and they’ve got to get to know this new body they’re in. • dressing-room drama “Ew.” “I wouldn’t be caught dead in that.” “Nothing looks good on me.” “You have no taste, mom.” Welcome to the wonderful world of shopping with your tween. Despite your best intentions, practically anything you pick out will end up on the dressing-room floor. Don’t take offense. This is one arena where pre-teens feel they can assert themselves creatively. One day your daughter may dress like a flowerchild from the 60s. Next month, she might get a little Goth. Go with it. She’s expressing her creativity and trying to find her identity. • model positivity If you speak kindly to yourself and about yourself, your tween will pick up on that. If you put yourself down or make snide comments about your weight or appearance, your kid will pick up on that, too. If ever there was a time to accept your looks and love the body you’re in, this is it.
set grow ready, set, grow
if your teen excessively self-criticizes to the point it causes daily distress, he or she may be suffering from a body image problem known as body dysmorphic disorder.
teens [13–18years]
I
f your daughter is chubby, trust us, she already knows it. If your son isn’t good enough to make the wrestling team, trust us, he already knows it. But maybe your daughter has an extraordinary singing voice. Maybe your son has a knack for giving advice to friends in need.
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self-acceptance Just like when they were preschoolers, supporting and encouraging your teens’ talents that have nothing to do with physical appearance is critical. By this point they know if their peers consider them pretty or athletic, popular or nerdy. And teens will get most of their self-esteem from the opinions of their peers. That’s just the way it is. There’s no need to fight it. But there are subtle ways to reinforce a positive body image. • make it a family affair If you’re concerned about your teen’s weight or overall health, incorporate changes to diet or exercise patterns as a family. Be a team. This will help prevent your teen from feeling isolated or picked on and your whole family will benefit as a result of these lifestyle changes. • monitor media We’re not saying ban video games or subscriptions to Teen Vogue. But make sure your teen knows about the manipulation tactics that media uses to reinforce unattainable stereotypes. Talk about things like Photoshop, airbrushing, plastic surgery, personal trainers, nutritionists. Show them positive ad campaigns [Dove is a good example]
and viral videos that demystify the transition from regular person into the model they see on the pages of a magazine [Google ‘Model Transformed by Airbrushing’]. • keep family meals on the table If you don’t already have a family meal tradition, it’s time to start one. Studies have shown that family meals encourage healthy eating habits, reduce risks for obesity, and give parents and kids an opportunity to talk and connect with one another. If dinnertime doesn’t work—we know how hectic schedules can get—try breakfast. And when your teen is talking, listen. Ask them open-ended, follow-up questions so you don’t get just a ‘yeah’ or ‘no’ answer. • be involved So you were a standout baseball player in high school, huh? Good for you. But your son likes musicals and is an active member of the drama club. Put aside your desire for him to be a star athlete like you were, and just. be. there. Show up for his performances. Support his talent and his determination to work hard. Applaud his willingness to audition—that’s intimidating! He’s showing you characteristics and qualities that will help him succeed throughout his life [hello! a job interview is like an audition, right?] and this is your chance to boost his self-image by focusing on traits that have nothing to do with how he looks.
oh, by the way
adventure it's about the
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story by | deb uglem
It was late August and we had just arrived at our hotel. The kids were beyond excited—either that or overly tired. Those two situations seem to create almost the same behavior in my kids, which is talking loud, giggling, and jumping around. The 450 miles took close to nine hours. This was, of course, taking into account the construction and never-ending potty stops. I checked into the hotel and my husband drove the Suburban around to the appropriate door. Some rooms of this hotel had outside doors—we, of course, were lucky enough to get one. As we began to unload I remember thinking it was a miracle that this vacation was happening. It’s not that I didn’t plan with detail the family vacation, but it was the fact that I had to plan it twice. Two and half months before this memorable adventure my daughter fell and broke her arm, which resulted in a cast for six weeks. As luck would have it, we were headed to the one place you can’t go with a four-year-old in a cast—Wisconsin Dells. I am not too proud to admit that as a mother I dream of the perfect family vacation. This includes a trip with happy kids cruising down the road singing songs,
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smiling at each other, and making memories. So that is what I set out to do. I spent hours researching hotels, water parks, and Dells’ excursions. The prep work paid off and I found the perfect rooms—adjoining, with a kitchenette, and the hotel had a water park that looks scary [in a good way for kids looking for adventure] but relaxing enough for mom and dad to enjoy a lawn chair and a cold drink. And—wait for it—the hotel water park was FREE! It was as if the vacation heavens had opened. I walked around for weeks on a personal mom high. I would stand waiting for the kids to get out of camp and I would answer confidently when asked about my summer plans. “We are heading to Wisconsin Dells,”…blah blah blah. “Yes the kids are so excited,” … blah blah blah. “We found a great location,” …blah blah blah.” It was a done deal that our week would be filled with sunny days at the water park, tours on a duck boat, mini golf, and go-karts. So you can imagine my anxiety when the arm incident occurred. I sprang into action and consulted work calendars, camp schedules, and family reunion dates. I finally found a week in late August that would work. The perfect hotel I had found had one “specialty” room left. I booked it without asking many questions. I was just happy we were still able to make this trip happen.
oh, by the way So there we were opening the door to our “specialty” room. The kids charged in and our mouths dropped. I am not sure what I saw first: the round bed on the platform with the zebra bedspread, the hot tub in the middle of the room, the leopard-print couch, or bearskin rug. It was as if South Africa threw up in a room in Wisconsin Dells. It was a total “chicka chicka boom boom” room, if you know what I mean—cue cheesy music. The kids loved it. “Mom, this place is cool. There is a swimming pool in here!” and “Mom don’t you love animals. They are everywhere.” All I could do is laugh; so much for the perfect vacation. This is when I realized that vacation memories are made by the adventures you take together. For example, our Wisconsin Dells Safari marked the first time the kids noticed that Mom and Dad drank coffee and that Dad placing an order at a drive-through window makes us all laugh. He just can’t seem to master that task! When I think back on my childhood this truth becomes clear. I remember the days when my family went on vacation. We would spend the night before packing the van, planning the stops, choosing the snacks, and fighting over the seating chart. My mom and dad would wake us up at four a.m. and we would be on the road. There was something I just loved about being in the car for three to four hours without even knowing. It was great to wake up in a Perkins parking lot hungry. Do I remember our vacation destinations? Not exactly, but I do remember some things. Like my mom waking us up to look at the mountains and my brother telling
her, “I can’t see them, where are they?” I remember a poker game that lasted over 1000 miles. Until my dad screamed, “Give me those pennies!” [That one was totally my sister’s fault.] I know all the words to ‘Don’t Go Breaking My Heart’ by Elton John and Kiki Dee and that crayons melt in the back window when you stop to eat in Needles, California. I also remember spending all my vacation money on a pair of sunglasses at the first souvenir shop. What’s great about these memories is that when I asked my brothers and sister what they remembered they had versions of the same answers. Summertime is full of sticky feet, dirty faces, and late nights and it also brings some of the best memory-making months of the year. Any mother can appreciate the importance of vacation. I am not talking about the planning, packing, or even the historical sites you may see. I am talking about the joy that comes from having your family in one space. Plan your safari today. The destination doesn’t matter. To quote Clark Griswold, “Everybody in the car. Boat leaves in two minutes…or perhaps you don’t want to see the second largest ball of twine on the face of the earth…” Enjoy your summer and Bon Voyage! Raised in Finley, ND, Deb has called Moorhead her home for the last 12 years. A graduate of Drake University in Des Moines, IA, with a degree in Journalism and Mass Communications, she is currently Marketing & Communications Director for Wanzek Construction. Deb welcomes the pleasant distraction that writing brings and thanks her children, Jake [20], Tony [19], Nick [19], and Emily [17] for inspiration. Deb and her husband Tim like to spend their free time with their kids and on the golf course.
Yes…the Dog Days of Summer are here!
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There is no such thing as a child who hates to read; there are only children who have not found the right book.
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