March/April 2020 On the Minds of Moms

MARCH | APRIL 2020

Inside:

‘I DIDN’T WANT TO BE ANOTHER STATISTIC’ | 26 The valley’s

for today’s

CONTENT

IN EVERY ISSUE

EDITOR'S NOTE.........................................................9 FOOD FOR THOUGHT............................ 18 SHUTTERBUG..............................................................24 MARCH & APRIL EVENTS...........................................................39

Photo courtesy of exposures by j.linnea

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CONTENT

SECTIONS RESOURCES

Connect, find help, get answers, make a difference..........................................42

READY, SET, GROW Fostering a growth mindset

Tips for raising kids who are physically and mentally strong, at every stage of childhood.................................44

34

44

Photo courtesy of Manstrom Photography 4

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | MARCH • APRIL 2020

CONTENT

FEATURE & PROFILES MOD MOMS

Tasha Barrett and Jamie Swenson...................................10

MOMS WELLNESS

In the cold of winter, women connect mind and body through running........................................ 14

COVER STORY From poverty to power:

Choosing to strive for success and authenticity.................................................26

LIVING IN THE 'DASH'!

Kathleen Wrigley............................................................................32

RAD DAD

Jeremy Manstrom..........................................................................34

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | MARCH • APRIL 2020

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moms@forumcomm.com

PUBLISHER Forum Communications Company

EDITOR Mary Jo Hotzler mhotzler@forumcomm.com

Assistant EDITORS April Knutson Paula Quam

WRITERS Robin Huebner Tracy Briggs Melissa Davidson April Knutson Paula Quam Kathleen Wrigley

ADVERTISING Mark Von Bank adfeatures@forumcomm.com

DESIGN AND LAYOUT Sara Slaby specialsections@forumcomm.com

PHOTOGRAPHY Renee Clasen

CONTENT INQUIRIES info@onthemindsofmoms.com

SFI-00574

MISSION AND VISION On The Minds Of Moms is dedicated to providing a community of local support and real-life advice for the modern day mom who is on the go and needs to know. We are inspired to help the woman behind “the mom” balance it all by offering support, validation and reassurance she is a good mom wanting only the best for herself and family.

On The Minds Of Moms is an online community and magazine for and about local moms. We strive to achieve a balance between useful information and entertaining content. Written to serve as the local reading alternative to family magazines that are produced for a national audience.

On The Minds Of Moms contains views from across the parenting spectrum. These views do not necessarily reflect those of the publisher. All activities listed in these pages are at your own risk and require appropriate supervision.

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ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | MARCH • APRIL 2020

MARY JO HOTZLER

S

Fueling our bodies, minds and souls

Finding strength and sanity even when our energy tanks are low

everal weeks ago, I shared a column with On the Minds of Moms digital

readers about my epic #momfail – the day I took my kids to school when in fact they had the day off.

That column wasn’t just about my blunder; it was about having too many balls to juggle and not enough hands to catch them all.

Can you relate?

Often we exist in survival mode with information coming at us from every direction and on every device. There’s only a certain amount of information we can absorb and store each day. When our brains and bodies reach overload, something’s gotta give. Nothing makes a mom feel worse than when that something ends up being the kids.

It’s up to us to take action.

different things to different people, and that’s okay.

For some women, it’s a hot bath with a glass of wine; for others, it’s journaling, yoga, coffee with friends, or even shopping. All of those things sound pretty good to me.

As moms, we need to find ways to fuel our bodies, minds and souls. All three.

Not necessarily all at once - let’s not get carried away - but each carries importance for our overall well-being.

In this edition of On the Minds of Moms, you’ll meet women who are working hard to better themselves, turning passions into purpose, and finding ways - big and small - to be strong, physically and mentally.

I hope you’ll find a few minutes of quiet time to kick back, relax, and be inspired by these stories and by these women.

You hear a lot of talk these days about the importance of self-care for women.

It’s become almost cliche, but that doesn’t make it less true. Self-care means

Mary Jo Hotzler is Forum Communications Company’s Chief Content Officer and the interim editor of On the Minds of Moms. She lives in Fargo with her husband Heath and twin boys.

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | MARCH • APRIL 2020

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PODCAST

Jamie R Swenson (pictured left) and Tasha Barrett (pictured on the right) share what's its really like to be working moms in real estate through their podcast "Realtor Moms Podcast."

Photo courtesy of Park Co. Realtors / Special to On The Minds of Moms 10

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | MARCH • APRIL 2020

&

Jamie R Swenson Tasha Barrett

W

36, Kindred, N.D. 37, West Fargo

MOD MOMS

By April Knutson

hen asked what their "titles" should be, both Tasha Barrett and Jamie Swenson said, "Realtors, Moms, Podcasters, Networkers, Coordinators of Chaos, Friends." These local moms embrace the messy but meaningful work in their lives, now sharing their experiences through weekly podcast episodes.

The duo, who work together at Park Co. Realtors, also host and produce "Realtor Moms Podcast", talking about everything from special assessments, appraisals, inspections and house flipping to tips to love the house you have. At first, this idea for a podcast came from an urge to shed light on their experiences as working moms.

"We were sitting in a meeting, texting (yes, during the meeting) and whining about the same-old-same-old daily duties of moms, and a light bulb came on," Jamie explains. "Let’s connect being moms with being Realtors!"

Tasha and Jamie started to record their podcast with their iPhones in early 2019 and released their first episodes during the spring.

"We signed up for social media accounts a few months later and graduated to using a real microphone and recording software about midway through 2019," Jamie says.

All podcast episodes are about 10 minutes long, and they continue to dive into topics that relate to all types of moms, wherever they are on their own home buying (or selling) journey.

"We like to make them a little humorous while being informative as well. Some podcast titles

have included: 'Negotiating Like a Mother', 'Real Estate Birth Control', 'Exposing Your Home’s Dirty Little Secrets' and 'What to Expect When You’re Inspecting'," Jamie says.

Besides their careers as realtors and producing a podcast, both working moms stay busy with their own families and hobbies. Tasha says when she's not working with her clients or shuffling one of three daughters from one place to the next, she enjoys cheering on the Minnesota Vikings, reading a good book or trying new foods. Jamie says when she's not hanging out with her son and daughter, she enjoys reading "home decor and design magazines (the original, hold-it-in-your-handdelivered-by-the-postman magazines) with a cold can of Mountain Dew." Tasha and Jamie sit down with us to share about their homes, work and personal lives and favorite home improvement tricks.

1. My kids’ favorite room in the house is…

Tasha: Our girls love my bedroom. They curl up in our bed and watch movies and try to have a sleepover before we go to bed. They love to watch YouTube videos and Netflix snuggling in my bed.

Jamie: My bedroom! My kids are still “little”, so they enjoy sneaking into the bedroom before my husband or I get up in the morning and trying to squeeze into our bed between us and turn on cartoons. The rest of the day, everyone likes to collect in the kitchen around the island – because that’s where mom is!

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | MARCH • APRIL 2020

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Tasha pictured with her three daughters and husband Mike with their family dog, Buttercup.

Photo courtesy of Tasha Barrett / Special to On The Minds of Moms 2. My husband’s favorite room in the house is…

Tasha: My husband loves our kitchen! He is the cook in the family and is always making something delicious. We spend time together as a family and talk about our day.

Jamie: the garage.

3. My favorite room in the house is….

Tasha: The mom side of me says my kitchendining-living room, which is an open-concept room where we spend time together as a family.

The room that sold me on my home is my closet.

It's the size of a small room, and I don't have to share it with my husband!

Jamie: Our dining room is my favorite. It has lots of windows, built-ins and character from the 1920s. It’s the place we come together every night for dinner. I’m not sure I could do without my dining room!

4. The best home improvement trick I’ve learned is…

Tasha: Cheaper isn’t always better. Know who to call when you need help around the house. You can have it done well, you can have it done fast or you can have it done cheap. Count yourself lucky if you can get at least two out of three boxes checked.

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ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | MARCH • APRIL 2020

Jamie: Hang your curtains high and wide! It will make your window feel larger and the ceilings in your room feel taller if they’re floor length. And you can do it today!

5. The most important house rule is...

Tasha: Listen the first time, not the 50th time I've said it.

Jamie: Respect. Treat each other with respect.

And don’t bite.

6. Five things on my bathroom counter right now...

Tasha: Make-up brushes, jewelry box, hairdryer, curling irons and lotion.

Jamie: Curling iron, bobby pins, face wash, contact solution and a smudge of my kids’ toothpaste.

7. From a young age I knew…

Tasha: that I didn’t take “no” for an answer and nothing was going to hold me back from creating a life I could love.

Jamie: I loved houses. I would fill empty notebooks with pages and pages of house “plans” – most of which had swimming pools on the top floor, gymnasiums in the basement, indoor gardens and McDonald's restaurants inside.

MOD MOMS 8. Something I admire, but would never do…

Tasha: Live on a farm. I lived on one when I was young and decided that if it took me more than 5 to 10 minutes to get to Starbucks that it wasn’t for me.

Jamie: have a third baby. Kudos to all you three kids (or more!) moms out there. You have my utmost respect!

9. My mom taught me...

Tasha: How to be independent.

Jamie: To sew and garden. To be responsible for my own decisions, and to take care of people.

10. The most fulfilling part of my job…

Tasha: I love that every day is different and there is always a chance to learn something new. The most important part of my job is looking out for my clients' best interests. Real estate is all about the people and relationships, and I love having the chance to assist my clients with the home buying and selling process. I feed off of their energy and excitement!

Jamie: so many things! I love helping people with such a big change (often a very happy and exciting change!). Seeing houses, from tiny and dilapidated fixer-uppers to enormous and extravagant, more than 100 years old to brandnew or under-construction and everything in between. And every single day is different than the last, I enjoy the challenge!

11. I love a good…

Tasha: glass of Shiraz.

Jamie: cheese.

12. Three words my kids would use to best describe me…

Tasha: my 11-year-old told me 1. nice 2. pretty 3. kind.

Jamie: loving, happy and working.

13. The parenting trick I have learned from my husband is…

Tasha: Don’t take things so seriously.

Jamie: Let them work it out. You don’t always have to intervene… unless there’s blood.

14. My ideal day would be spent…

Tasha: with no make-up, messy bun, sweat pants while watching movies with my kids.

Jamie: with Eric and the kids at the lake or the beach under the sunshine.

15. I want to teach my kids…

Tasha: how to be independent and that they are capable of doing anything they set their minds to. Just because they are girls doesn’t mean that they can’t be strong and capable of making their dreams come true. They have the ability to do anything and I will support them every step along the way.

Jamie: to try everything, be proud of yourself, take care of the people around you and know you are always loved.

Swenson shares a photo of her son and daughter.

Photo courtesy of Jamie R Swenson Special to On The Minds of Moms

Find out more about Tasha and Jamie or listen to episodes of their podcast at RealtorMomsPodcast.com.

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | MARCH • APRIL 2020

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MOMS WELLNESS

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ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | MARCH • APRIL 2020

In the cold of winter, women connect mind and body through running

T

By Robin Huebner

hey wear flashing vests and other lights to make themselves stand out in the early evening darkness of winter.

Her exercise routine was interrupted in the spring of 2017, however, when she was diagnosed with breast cancer.

But at times, all that is visible from the road are the tops of their heads above massive snow piles, as they make their way down icy sidewalks.

In training to run a half marathon that year, she had to put the running aside while she had biopsies and surgery, and later, chemotherapy and radiation.

The women join for the common goal of running, but the reasons for doing so, and their circumstances, vary.

Standing up to a cancer diagnosis, working through pregnancy, recovering from surgery and managing body weight are just a few of the motivations that fuel the women of Moms on the Run in West Fargo.

Members of the instructor-led fitness program meet up to three times a week, with coaches providing education and encouragement.

Eileen Pruis, 55, owner of the West Fargo franchise, said all women and girls are welcome.

“Anybody can join us at whatever pace is acceptable. We love to have different groups,” Pruis says.

While most days they venture out in the cold and snow, they do have an indoor option available if conditions are too harsh.

During the winter, the group involves around 10 women, while during the summer, that number can double or triple.

The emotions flowed as she talked about deciding that somewhere in the process, cancer had already taken too much from her, and it was time to put the running shoes back on.

“It was probably more of a walk, but it felt good just to be able to say, ‘I’m going for a run,’ because that’s my normal thing to do,” Birrenkott says.

She finished all of her treatments in January 2018 and ended up running the half marathon in the Fargo Marathon that spring.

She’s now training for the full Sanford Fargo Marathon, taking place May 9, 2020.

“I turn 50 next December, so that's my goal,” Birrenkott says.

Kayla Hiedeman, 31, of West Fargo, joined Moms on the Run after giving birth to her second child.

Last summer, she had her fourth baby — a pregnancy during which she ran two marathons.

Some run simply for fun, while others are preparing for half or full marathons this year.

During the training, she kept asking her obstetrician if it was safe to continue and was repeatedly told it was.

Staci Birrenkott, 49, of West Fargo, has been an avid runner for the past 15 years.

“Can you just say ‘No,’ so I can get out of it?”

Hiedeman says, with a laugh.

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | MARCH • APRIL 2020

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“It’s kind of nice to be able to do them at the same time, and you feel maybe a little less guilty,” she says.

Pruis joined the group in an effort to shed some weight and expand her social circle.

Staci Birrenkott, 49, is a member of Moms on the Run in West Fargo. She was treated for breast cancer about two years ago and is training to run the full marathon at the Sanford Fargo Marathon on May 9, 2020. Photo by Chris Flynn Special to On the Minds of Moms

At the time, she worked with only men at a local concrete company and had few opportunities to make women friends.

She also had never run before.

“I was terrified the first night because we had to run for a minute,” Pruis says.

She caught on quickly, though, running four 5K races that year and three half-marathons the next. Last year, she ran two marathons.

Currently, there are more than 50 Moms on the Run franchises around the country, with the majority of them located in Minnesota.

Pruis holds the only such franchise in North Dakota.

The program offers an 18-week spring session with cardiovascular interval training for all levels, strength training, stretching and education.

Members of Moms on the Run take a moment to stretch inside the lobby of Veterans Memorial Arena in West Fargo before heading out for a run on Feb. 4, 2020. Photo by Chris Flynn Special to On the Minds of Moms

The two marathons, run at 25 weeks and 30 weeks gestation, ended up being a welcome distraction from the difficulties of being pregnant.

“It was a lot of work.You just feel the baby bouncing up and down all the time,” she says.

Hiedeman said she’s often plagued with “mom guilt” whenever she takes time for something that doesn’t involve her children.

Being part of a running group allows her to get exercise and adult interaction all at once.

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ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | MARCH • APRIL 2020

The West Fargo group runs anywhere from two to five miles on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 5:30 p.m. and does longer, endurance runs on Saturdays at 6:30 a.m.

After Thursday runs, a Strength/Boot Camp Circuit Class is held at 6:30 p.m. at Lutheran Church of the Cross in West Fargo.

Pruis considers running a great stress reliever and sometimes surprises herself with what she can accomplish.

“Some days I don’t feel like running, but I gotta be there. Those are some of my better runs, at times,” Pruis says.

Exercise: Body, mind and soul As moms , we know moving our bodies can benefit us in multiple ways.

Regular exercise can make our heart, lungs, muscles and bones stronger and improve balance, coordination and flexibility.

MOMS WELLNESS It can also reduce the risk for chronic conditions, including heart disease and diabetes, while helping to keep our weight in check.

But physical activity can also help fuel the mind and soul by improving mental health, stress levels and sleep patterns.

Better sleep According to Sanford Health, hitting the gym can help us hit the pillow harder at night.

Getting regular exercise can help us fall asleep, and may help us sleep more soundly.

Good sleep makes our brains work better, which can boost our attention span and even our creativity.

See a video of this running moms group at InForum.com/ on-the-minds-of-moms. in areas important for learning and memory, according to Sanford Health.

Aerobic exercise or a mix of aerobic and strength-training activities three to five times a week for 30 to 60 minutes at a time can benefit our mental health.

Better stress management People who are feeling stressed and overwhelmed might also not feel like exercising, but squeezing in a workout may be just what’s needed.

Regular physical activity keeps our thinking, learning, and judgment skills sharp.

During exercise, our body releases chemicals that help improve mood and make us feel more relaxed. Physical activity can even reduce our risk for depression.

A study in the Journal of Alzheimer’s Disease found moderate exercise enhanced brain activity

Even a short walk can reduce stress and give us a better outlook on life.

Better mental health

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ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | MARCH • APRIL 2020

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FOOD FOR THOUGHT

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ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | MARCH • APRIL 2020

Simple and fresh

Family-friendly recipes for spring

By April Knutson

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | MARCH • APRIL 2020

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FOOD FOR THOUGHT

I

f you're anything like us, your New Year's resolutions to cook more at home and let the drive-thru window attendant forget your name has already failed three-times over. And yet, the promise of spring (and swimsuit season) motivates us to reset and try again to make delicious and nutritious recipes for our families.

But who has time to search the Internet for tested, kid-approved recipes? If you are busy, but still want to focus on simple, healthy and fresh this spring, take some recommendations from Forum and On the Minds of Moms food fanatic Tracy Briggs' and try one these favorites.

Whether you need an "after-school snack", healthy meal or guilt-free dessert, we have you covered.

Favorite after school snack: Silly Apple bites Did your mom ever tell you to not play with your food?

Well, these fun apple treats will have kids laughing while snacking on this fun-to-assemble dish. (Mom, this treat won't ruin your diet either.) Tracy suggests replacing the sunflower butter and sunflower seeds for peanut butter and peanuts if allergies and tastes allow.

Ingredients 2 green apples, each quartered Sunflower butter 32 sunflower seeds 2­3 strawberries, sliced 1­2 homemade googly eyes (see recipe below) Directions Cut the middles out of each quarter of the apple to create a mouth. Don't worry about perfection, you are filling this gap with sunflower butter anyway, so if you cut too deep, you can always just cover it up and no one will know. Coat the inside of the cut gap with a filling of sunflower butter.

Silly Apple Bites are healthy and fun for an after school snack.

Forum File Photo 20

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | MARCH • APRIL 2020

Place 4 sunflower seeds on the top of the "mouth" for the teeth. Place 1 sliced strawberry inside the mouth for the tongue. "Glue" each eye above the mouth with a dab of sunbutter to stick. 6. Serve with a smile.

Quinoa Taboulleh salad, a healthy, tasty way you can use up those vegetables, nicely ripened, recently pulled from the garden. Forum file photo

Favorite lunch: Quinoa Tabbouleh While recipes for kale-salads are in-trend right now, another meatless dish may cure hunger while giving you a chance to raid the fridge. This recipe for a Quinoa Tabbouleh is a way to use the

tomatoes, cucumbers and herbs in a dish that's quick, and delicious. Tracy says to use whatever vegetables you have on hand, add what you want.

It'll get those leftovers off your counter.

Ingredients 2 cups organic quinoa grain, cooked and cooled 1 cup parsley, chopped ½ cup scallions, chopped or green onions chopped 2 medium tomatoes, cut into ¼-inch dice 2 tablespoon fresh mint, chopped (or 1 teaspoon dried) 1 garlic clove, minced 1 tablespoon basil, minced ½ cup lemon juice ¼ cup extra virgin olive oil ¼ teaspoon salt 1/8 teaspoon white pepper Optional ingredients: cucumbers, canned black beans, corn, green, red or yellow peppers

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Directions Toss together all ingredients. Chill for 1 hour or more to allow flavors to blend. Store leftovers in a sealed container in the refrigerator.

Recipe from Bob's Red Mill

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Mediterranean Bean Salad contains filling ingredients like beans and couscous.

Forum File Photo

Healthy Key Lime Pie Bars have a sweet and tart taste, but aren't full of fat and calories.

Forum File Photo

Favorite dinner: Mediterranean bean salad Salad recipes can seem boring at times: greens, vegetables, dressing, etc. - but this recipe adds some savory elements with a variety of beans. (Did we mention it's meatless, as well?) Invite your vegetarian friends for this dish, it's sure to leave every person satisfied.

Tracy a mom of two teenage daughters, describes this dish as a salad that doesn’t make you sad.

Serves: 10 Ingredients: 3 cups whole wheat couscous, prepared according to package instructions 1 cup dark red kidney beans, drained and rinsed 1 cup cannellini beans, drained and rinsed 1 cup garbanzo beans, drained and rinsed 1 cups kale, washed, stemmed and finely shredded 1 cup cucumbers, washed, peeled (if thick skinned) and sliced into half-moons 1 cup cherry tomatoes, washed, sliced in half 1 ⁄2 cup red onion, thinly sliced 1 ⁄4 cup parsley, washed, chopped 1 ⁄4 cup mint, washed, chopped 1 ⁄4 cup basil, washed, chopped 3⁄4 cup Kalamata olives 1 cup feta cheese

Dressing: 1/3 cup balsamic vinegar 2 tablespoons Dijon mustard 2 garlic cloves, minced 1 cup olive oil Salt and freshly ground pepper Directions: In a large bowl, combine the couscous, beans, kale, cucumbers, tomatoes, onion and herbs.

Toss gently.

In a small bowl, combine the vinegar, mustard, and garlic. Add the oil in a slow steady stream, whisking constantly. Season with salt and pepper to taste.

Add dressing to combined ingredients and toss gently. Top with cheese and olives.

Recipe courtesy: The Bean Institute.

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ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | MARCH • APRIL 2020

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

Favorite dessert: Healthy-ish key lime pie bars

Watch Tracy make some of these recipes at InForum.com

Fighting your sweet tooth to prepare for summer? Us too.

Tracy suggests planning ahead if you want to make these bars. The coconut milk needs to chill overnight and once the bars are prepared, they need to be in the freezer at least a couple of hours.

Serves 16 Ingredients: Crust: 3 cups Nature's Path Corn Flakes (fruit juice sweetened) 4 tablespoons coconut oil, melted 3 tablespoons raw honey or maple syrup 1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract Filling: 1 (14-ounce) can coconut milk, full fat Zest of 1 lime 4 tablespoons lime juice (1 to 2 limes) 3 tablespoons honey or maple syrup

from clear liquid. Add remaining filling ingredients and beat until well mixed.

Pour on top of previously prepared crust and level with a spatula. Freeze for at least 2 hours. Holding on to the overhanging parchment paper, remove bars from the baking dish, place on a cutting board and cut into 16 squares using a long, sharp knife (wipe with a towel in between cuts for a clean look). Serve frozen or a bit thawed.

Recipe courtesy of ifoodreal.com

Directions: Place can of coconut milk in the fridge overnight.

Line 8- by 8-inch baking dish with parchment paper leaving overhangs. Place glass bowl and mixer beaters in the freezer.

In a food processor, grind corn flakes. Add to a medium bowl along with remaining crust ingredients and thoroughly mix with spatula until well combined. The mixture should stick together in big, crumbly lumps. Transfer to lined baking dish and level evenly with spatula, not missing the edges. Press crust down to pack tightly. Place in the freezer while you are making the filling.

Open can of refrigerated coconut milk and scoop out white cream into a chilled bowl.

You can either discard the remaining liquid or refrigerate it and use it for other purposes. It doesn't matter if some clear liquid got mixed a bit with cream. Beat coconut cream with a mixer for a few minutes. The thickness will depend on how well coconut cream separated

IT’S NOT TOO EARLY.

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ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | MARCH • APRIL 2020

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shutterbug

Photo courtesy of Ten Little Chickens Photography

Photo courtesy of Taylor Jane Photography

Photo courtesy of Ten Little Chickens Photography 24

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | MARCH • APRIL 2020

Photo courtesy of Ashley Oberholtzer Photography

Photo courtesy of Ten Little Chickens Photography

Photo courtesy of Tessa Simmers Photography

Shutterbug is a section dedicated to partnering with area photographers who have a passion for family portraits. Interested in partnering with On The Minds of Moms? Email moms@forumcomm.com.

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | MARCH • APRIL 2020

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I ‘ didn’t want to be another statistic’ New Dale Carnegie president fought for the life she wanted

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ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | MARCH • APRIL 2020

BETHANY BERKELEY FREDERICK

W

By Tracy Briggs

hen Bethany Berkeley Frederick was approached about being the subject of a story on successful working moms, she was flattered. She also had a pretty clear vision of what she wanted for her photoshoot.

As managing partner and president of Dale Carnegie North Dakota and Minnesota she could have easily chosen one of those high-powered, behind-the-desk, presidential poses.

But Bethany is about keeping it real.

“I’ve gone to work with one leg shaved and forgotten to put on mascara. One day I started painting my nails and couldn’t finish so I was in a client meeting and had to hide my hands,” she says with a laugh.

Photo courtesy of Ten Little Chickens Photography | Special to On The Minds of Moms ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | MARCH • APRIL 2020

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FROM POVERTY TO POWER That’s why Bethany wanted "On the Minds of Moms" photographer, Renee Clasen, to capture the real story of being a working mom —from sticky fingers to staff meetings.

Bethany seems acutely aware of the "grass is always greener" tendency we all have to look at others and think their lives are perfect. She doesn't want any part of it, perhaps because her early life was so far from it.

‘Life isn’t fair’ Bethany says she grew up with “not much” in a small town outside of San Antonio, Texas. Her father worked in lawn care and tree trimming and her mother worked part-time in the office.

They lived in a trailer, Bethany sharing a bedroom with three siblings.

“I remember riding the school bus and seeing kids coming out of really big houses and they had cool clothes and all of the fun things you want as a kid," she says. "I wondered why I didn’t have those things."

Bethany’s mom told her “life isn’t fair” and “it is what it is.”

Her life got even harder when her father was killed in a car accident when she was 13.

Seeing her mom struggle to raise four children, Bethany made the tough decision to drop out of high school to help out. She was only a freshman.

“It just seemed like it was the right thing to do.

Something I had to do,” she says of those years working part-time to help pay the bills.

Bethany Berkeley Frederick says getting pregnant with her daughter was "the surprise of my life," but she was also "over the moon." Photo courtesy of Ten Little Chickens Photography | Special to On the Minds of Moms 28

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | MARCH • APRIL 2020

‘I didn’t want to be another statistic’ Even while she worked long hours at minimum wage, Bethany dreamed of a different life.

“I didn’t want to be another statistic,” she says. “I didn’t know exactly what my life would look like, but I knew I didn’t want to stay where I was.”

So she earned her GED diploma and enrolled in Austin Community College with the hopes of one day enrolling at the University of Texas.

She wanted to major in social work and use her life experiences to help others. But her dream was nearly derailed when a counselor at the community college who knew of Bethany’s past suggested she re-evaluate her goals and adjust her expectations.

“I think she meant well. I think she was trying to protect me from wasting money and feeling defeated. But I was devastated at the time. I remember going to my car and crying,” she says.

“For a lot of people college is just the next step.

For me it would be life-changing.”

But Bethany dried her tears and just kept moving forward with the thought that she had nothing to lose by at least applying. A few months later she was accepted at UT where she’d take a full class load while also holding down a job. She ended up finishing second in her class of thousands and was chosen to speak at commencement. She mailed that school counselor her graduation announcement.

“If I had listened to her I would be on a completely different path,” Bethany says. “It’s a reminder to me that everything we say to people can impact them the rest of their lives.”

Coming to Fargo Following graduation, she got a job helping at-risk youth in Austin. Other jobs followed in social work research and with non-profit organizations. She also got married. It was her husband’s job that took her to Fargo.

“I remember thinking, ‘you want me to go where?’ I didn’t even think Fargo was a real place,” she says with a big smile.

Bethany Berkeley Frederick was named managing partner and president of Dale Carnegie of ND & MN in January. Photo courtesy of Ten Little Chickens Photography Special to On the Minds of Moms

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | MARCH • APRIL 2020

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FROM POVERTY TO POWER Once she got here she continued working remotely for a nonprofit out of Austin before a job opened up at the YWCA of Cass-Clay. Her professional life might have been on track, but there was trouble at home. Bethany and her husband struggled with infertility and the marriage fell apart.

However, the transplanted Texan says she didn’t even entertain the notion of leaving Fargo, in part because of the phenomenal community of women around her, including her mentors from Dale Carnegie, Tonya Stende and Tamara Anderson.

“They were so strong and supportive. These are the women that helped me move into my new place, make it my own and remind me who I was and what I was capable of and that I could fight to be happy,” she says.

She continued to challenge herself professionally and was named managing partner and president of Dale Carnegie in January. She says she loves her job with the corporate training and self-improvement giant.

“It makes me feel alive. It makes me feel fulfilled. It’s what I’m supposed to be doing,” she says.

She also got married again to Sean Frederick, whom she met at Prairie Den, a co-working space in downtown Fargo.

Bethany Berkeley Frederick describes motherhood as "exhausting" as she also juggles full time work with Dale Carnegie. Her daughter Berkeley will be a big sister in April when Bethany is expected to give birth to a son.

Photo courtesy of Ten Little Chickens Photography Special to On The Minds of Moms 30

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | MARCH • APRIL 2020

“He helped me find a coffee mug,” she says.

After dating for a few months she got the surprise of her life when she realized she was pregnant. She says she was both “frightened” and “over the moon.” Nervous to tell Sean, he

FROM POVERTY TO POWER replied with “I’m going to be a dad. Great!

Now, what are we having for lunch?”

“He is very kind, patient, grounded and real,” she says.

Trying to own her success Sean and Bethany married shortly after daughter, Berkeley, was born. Bethany is now expecting her second child, a boy, in April. She’s a busy, successful, full-time executive who still occasionally struggles with imposter syndrome — feeling not good enough and not smart enough. However, Bethany says with the help of people like Tanya and Tamara, she’s learning to “own her success” a little more.

“I think all of us as women make excuses for our success or give credit to everyone except ourselves, and there were certainly so many people along the way who have helped me, but at the end of the day, I have to realize I was a part of this too,” she says.

She’s also learned that it’s women themselves who can be the best ally for each other.

Something that sunk in when a woman she didn’t know well recently helped her when Berkeley was throwing a temper tantrum at Target.

“She came up and said ‘it’s okay. How can I help?’

She helped me put her jacket on,” Bethany says.

“That moment of ‘I see you, I get you’ meant everything to me,” she says.

These are life lessons she hopes to pass along to her children. She says while her children are growing up with more than she had she wants them to be mindful to look past first impressions and realize everyone has troubles you might not see. She'll tell her kids, the hardship that nearly broke her created the person she is today.

“I won’t do it as a ‘look at where I was’ and ‘look at what I did',’” she says. “I'll tell them you can let life beat you and define you or you can keep getting up and keep fighting for the life you want.”

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ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | MARCH • APRIL 2020

31

Living in the ‘Dash'!

Y

By Kathleen Wrigley

ou may be familiar with the poem, “The Dash.” Or maybe you have heard pastors give sermons and eulogies on living in the dash.

The dash represents the time between a person’s birthday and date of death. The author, Linda Ellis, writes: “So when your eulogy’s being read With your life actions to rehash, Would you be proud of the things they say About how you spent your dash?”

Perhaps this poem was written long ago, but I am notoriously late to the party and have only heard this dash thing in the last, maybe, 10 or 12 years.

I first heard about it at a funeral, in a eulogy.

I have since regurgitated a self-imposed, dash test during some sleepless . . . dark . . . lonely . . . confusing . . . sad moments of my life. In those times, the dash was more of a pause for me.

Instead of responding gratuitously or impulsively to life, I took a time-out. To steady myself. To pray. To dig deep within my soul. To pause while I caught my breath.

I needed this dash, or break, the last few years when my world turned upside-down.

While I have not contributed recently to “On the 32

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | MARCH • APRIL 2020

Minds of Moms,” I have been writing -research papers and case notes. The dash helped me carve out a new career as a school counselor by day, while attending full-time graduate school in the evenings, earning my second master’s degree.

Turns out, the sleepless nights that come with perimenopausal hormonal changes work well for researching and writing 50-page papers at 3 a.m.

I completed my second round of graduate school with a 4.0-grade point average. I was in search of joy, peace and purpose in that dash.

I am happy to report that I am a certified school counselor, and I’m back to writing columns, as a side gig and for fun. Sometimes these two worlds fuse, not with a dash but with an exclamation point. You see, I practice the dash, but I love exclamation points! Oftentimes, in my role as school counselor, I help students cope and learn by practicing the dash: pressing the “pause” button, collecting themselves, thinking ahead before they react.

Dashes are important, but they’re not nearly as fun as exclamation points, as I was recently reminded by a kindergartener and a newspaper editor.

A while back, I submitted a column to a parenting publication and received a curt response back from the editor: “Please refrain from using exclamation points in your piece. It diminishes your writing.” I obliged and re-sent my column but added this message in my

THE ‘DASH'

comments: “Here it is. There are no exclamation points. I feel dead. Thank you.”

I got a kick out of myself. The editor did not respond. To be clear: this publication was not “On the Minds of Moms,” where they encourage exclamation points. These are my people!

Here’s the twist. A kindergartener was having a hard time controlling his emotions and managing outbursts in the classroom. To be fair, he was five. We worked hard on breathing and practicing the pause.

One day he told me he had a great idea for how to help himself calm down. He needed a pen and a piece of paper. He looked at me, with his chapped, rosy cheeks and bright eyes and said, “I love sclamations. If I could just write sclamations, it would help me make better choices.”

&

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I wasn’t exactly sure what “sclamations” were, so I watched him as he drew line after line after line, with huge, round circles at the end of each one. A “sclamation” point! This child found his pause, his dash, his calm in the exclamation point.

Children teach us plenty if we’re paying attention.

I am embracing my love for exclamation points!

There is life and meaning and zest and joy, and even peace, in an exclamation point! Use them appropriately. But use them.

And when the time comes, please don’t bother using a dash for me. Instead, separate my life dates by an exclamation point, because the time in between does matter, but I want to live it and give it the gusto of a “sclamation” point!

Kathleen Wrigley is a wife, mom and advocate.

She is made with equal amounts of grace and grit, with gobs of giggles and gratitude.

TENLITTLECHICKENSPHOTOGRAPHY.COM

701.238.1379

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | MARCH • APRIL 2020

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Jeremy Manstrom reads to his sons, 3-year-old Jonah and 1-year-old Ezra.

Photos courtesy of Manstrom Photography | Special to On The Minds of Moms

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ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | MARCH • APRIL 2020

Jeremy Manstrom 34, Grand Forks, North Dakota

F

RAD DAD

By April Knutson

rom afar, Jeremy Manstrom's smile and laugh are instantly recognizable. Then, upon meeting his wife, Jamie, an involuntary sigh of appreciation (and perhaps a bit of jealousy) passes from your lips. They are some of those "so adorable, absolutely Instagramable but unbearably nice" people.

It's that friendliness, along with meticulous attention to detail, that has brought success in business and in life for Jeremy and Jamie and their photography business, Manstrom Photography.

"The most appealing part of this career to me was that we could do it together," Jamie says when asked why they choose this career. "We started photographing together full time almost

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immediately after we got married, about nine years ago, and I will always be grateful for all the time it has allowed us to spend together and all the travel opportunities it has brought."

Jeremy and Jamie both attended Rocky Mountain School of Photography in Missoula, Mont. Since then, the Manstroms have photographed couples in 22 states and four countries, including their favorite location to date, Reykjavik, Iceland. Here in the United States, they are particularly fond of weddings in Florida or New York City so they have an excuse to visit Disneyworld or see a show on Broadway.

During the past few years, the Manstroms have traded in their unpredictable travel schedule for a routine with their two sons, 3-year-old

218-287-9499 ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | MARCH • APRIL 2020

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RAD DAD Jonah and 1-year-old Ezra. Jeremy teaches special education during the week, while Jamie works on the editorial side of their photography business and hangs out with their "fantastic boys." They still find time to work together on photography during weekends. Here's what Jeremy had to say about business, life and being a rad dad: 1. The secret to taking a perfect photo is…

Caffeine and making your subject comfortable enough to forget about the camera.

2. The first thing I noticed about my wife...

Her confidence and never-ending positivity.

3. The best thing about owning your business is…

Setting your own schedule! I get to take my little guys out for a run every afternoon right before their nap time. I love how much time I can find to hang out with Jonah and Ezra.

4. The worst thing about owning your business is…

Finding the balance between business growth and personal growth. The more time you put into the business the better it does, but at the same time, the more you put into relationships the deeper they grow. The lines get blurry when you work at home and your craft is never more than a hallway away.

5, What I learned since working with my wife…

We both need different things to recharge.

6. Something I admire, but would never do…

Dive headfirst into a creative pursuit or business plan without a clear path to financial stability.

Also, cliff diving.

7. What no one tells you about being a “boy” dad is…

How much fun it is! They’re my favorite people in the entire world, and every time I’m away from them I think how much more fun this would be if they were with me.

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ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | MARCH • APRIL 2020

Jeremy shares a special moment with his son Jonah.

Photo courtesy of Manstrom Photography Special to On The Minds of Moms

RAD DAD

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | MARCH • APRIL 2020

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RAD DAD 8. Three things on my bucket list are…

1. Retire to Florida and work in Disneyworld, or acquire a lifetime pass - either option is equally acceptable. 2. Run a sub-3 marathon in every state.

3. Get cast on Survivor and win!

9. My mom taught me…

That details matter.

10. I can’t live without my…

Garmin watch and Thule running strollers!

11. The single greatest lesson I can teach my kids…

1. You don’t have to be incredible at something to enjoy doing it. 2. Life is too big to be great at just one thing. 3. Indian food is substantially superior to all other food, never live more than 7 miles from an Indian restaurant that makes solid pollack paneer!

12. Being a “millennial parent” means that I… Will raise our guys to have a ton of confidence, self-esteem and resilience. Plus the ability to use the Amazon Firestick remote better than our parents.

13. I find strength in...

Watching the other succeed in their creative endeavors while also raising thoughtful little boys.

14. I relax by…

Going to Disneyworld, planning our next trip to Disneyworld or doing the Fitness Marshall dance videos with our little guys.

15. In 10 years, I will be…

Living the same life just more efficiently and cheering way too loudly for our guys at their weekend wrestling meets!

Jeremy cuddles his young son Ezra. Photo courtesy of Manstrom Photography | Special to On The Minds of Moms

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ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | MARCH • APRIL 2020

Jeremy’s wife Jamie answered questions about living and working with Jeremy. Visit the “On The Minds of Moms” section at InForum to read her answers and see more photos.

See more of Jamie and Jeremy’s photos at manstromphotography.com.

3, 10, 17 & 24

4, 11, 18 & 25

Chess Club

Workout Wednesdays with TNT

When: 6:30 to 8:30 p.m. every Tuesday during March and April Where: Moorhead Public Library, 118 5th Street South, Moorhead Price: Free Info: Join chess players of every skill level on Tuesdays at 6:30 pm for a chess skill share. Chess boards and books will be provided. https://larl.org/locations/moorhead/

3 Tuesdays for Toddlers

Where: Plains Art Museum, 704 1st Avenue N, Fargo When: 9 to 10 a.m.

Price: $5 per person Info: A time for our youngest visitors and their grown-ups to foster creativity and imagination through stories, songs, and hands-on art activities. Each month we will offer a unique theme and a new art project for the child to create and take home. Suggested for children ages 2 to 5. Younger siblings are allowed to accompany the group. www.plainsart.org/events/tuesdaysfor-toddlers-6/

4, 11, 18 & 25 Storytime

When: 10:30 to 11 a.m. every Wednesday during March and April Where: Moorhead Public Library, 118 5th Street South, Moorhead Price: Free Info: Children of all ages are invited to join us for stories, songs, and poems on a weekly theme. Program runs about half an hour. https://larl.org/locations/moorhead/

4, 11, 18 & 25 Therapeutic Yoga with Fallon

When: 6 to 7 p.m. on Wednesday nights during March Where: Balanc e Chiropractic and Rehab, 3140 Bluestem Drive #103, West Fargo Come in and unwind starting this Wednesday we will start to offer a weekly Therapeutic Yoga class. This is a gentle yoga class for all skill levels. $10 for Patients $20 for non-patients.

Come in and check out our new space stretch and mobilize those cold tight muscles! Class limited to 12 Participants please pre-register below or by calling or texting 701-893-7878 to join us Search "Therapeutic Yoga with Fallon" on Eventbrite.com

When: 4:15 to 4:45 p.m., this class repeats each Wednesday until March 25 Where: Harvest Room 1 and 2, Rustad Recreation Center, 601 26th Ave E, West Fargo, Price: $45 Info: Participants will be guided through activities designed to encourage movement exploration and provide a safe medium for your toddler's high energy.

They will work on important socialization skills as they gain the ability to listen and follow instructor's directions. Stations and small circuits will be implemented to teach beginning gymnastics skills.

Participants must be 3 years old prior to the first day of class, no exceptions. This class is taught by current TNT Fitness instructors. Parents are recommended to stay on-site Find out more at https://apm.active communities.com/westfargopark district/Home

5, 12, 19 & 25 Baby Bounce

When: 10:15 a.m. to 11 a.m. every Thursday during March and April Where: Moorhead Public Library, 118 5th Street South, Moorhead Price: Free Info: Songs, stories, and action poems for infants through preschoolers and their caregivers. Program runs about a half hour including playtime and chatting with other caregivers. https://larl.org/locations/moorhead/

5&6 Baby Rhyme Time

Where: Fargo Public Libraries When: 10 a.m. at Carlson or 6:30 to 7:30 p.m. at Main Library Baby Rhyme Time is also scheduled for March 16.

Price: Free Info: Babies ages birth to 18 months are invited to join us for lapsit storytimes.

Held the first and third Thursday of each month, Baby Rhyme Time takes place at the Dr. James Carlson Library at 10 a.m., and at the Main Library at 6:30 p.m. Share songs, fingerplays, short books, rhythms and rhymes with your baby while introducing them to books and the library! Each session concludes with open play time. No registration is required. One child per grown-up lap please. Contact Children's Services at 701-241-1495 for details or email kids@ fargolibrary.org

Your Ideal Life Social

When: 6:30 to 8:30 p.m.

Where: Wild Terra Cider, 6 12th Street North, Fargo Price: $10 Info: Are you living your ideal life? Do you have the freedom to live the life you want? Is your weight where you want it to be? Do you have the energy to do the things you love like exercising, playing with your kids, or tackling those DIY jobs on the weekend you’ve been meaning to do for months? Are you living paycheck to paycheck? Do your bills and financial future keep you up at night? Are you looking for a community of people to grow with? If you relate to any of these questions, then this event is for you!

Search "Your Ideal Life Social" on Eventbrite.com

6 Fargo Comedy Fest presented

by Captain Morgan

Where: Fargo Theatre, 314 Broadway, Fargo When: 8 p.m. on March 6 and 8 p.m. on March 7 Price: Tickets range from $39.50 to $99.50 Info: The inaugural Fargo Comedy Fest hosts nationally-known comics including Natasha Leggero, Moshe Kasher, Joel McHale and Amber Preston. Find out more at fargocomedyfest.com

7 2020 Scholastic: Awards Ceremony

Where: Plains Art Museum, 704 1st Avenue N, Fargo When: 5:30 to 6:30 p.m. for exhibitions, ceremony begins at 6:30 p.m.

Price: Free Info: The Scholastic Art & Writing Awards Ceremony recognizes all North Dakota winners of the 2020 Scholastic Art & Writing Awards and celebrates work by visual art winners on display at the Museum’s Starion Gallery. Join us for live music, hors d’oeuvres, and keynote speakers at this formal recognition of North Dakota award recipients. Hosted

by Plains Art Museum, NDSU, and the Red River Valley Writing Project. https://plainsart.org/events/2020scholastic-awards-ceremony/

MARCH EVENTS Kid Quest – Great Art Free for All

Where: Plains Art Museum 704 1st Ave. Fargo When: 1:00 – 4:00 pm Price: Free!

Info: Use a wide variety of materials to create a fun mixed media artwork. You can dream it, you can make it! https://plainsart.org/create/

Harry Potter Magical Creature Crafts

Where: Main Library 102 3rd Street North, Fargo When: 3 to 5 p.m.

Price: Free Info: Wizards and witches are welcome to test their magi-zoologist skills in crafting and caring for magical creatures at the library! Children ages 6 to 12 are invited to spend the afternoon making a variety of magical creature crafts. Professor Hagrid will be on site to instruct you in the care and creation of magical creatures.

All materials provided. Registration is required and begins February 7. To register: Call Children’s Services at 701.241.1495 or Register online. *This event is a part of our Harry Potter exhibit and event series.

For more information about this or any other Fargo Public Library event, please call Children’s Services at 701.241.1495 or send Children's Services an email. http://programregistration.library. fargond.gov/

Unglued Winter Retreat 2020

Where: Sons of Norway, 722 2nd Avenue North, Fargo When: 8:30 a.m. to 11:30 p.m.

Price: $185 Info: A helluva one-day crafty haven at the Sons of Norway in downtown Fargo.

Big vikings doors will welcome you into a dark wood haven of times past where you get to chill the eff out next to a wood carved troll as you sip your morning coffee, take a rosemaling workshop or leatherworking with a viking family, and meet your new best friend Justin while you hygge it up in a log sauna. http://www.ungluedmarket.com/ unglued-winter-retreat/

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | MARCH • APRIL 2020

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Celebrate WomenInternational Women's Day

MARCH EVENTS 4, 5, 11, 12, 18, 19, 25 & 26 Beginner Yoga

When: 6:30 to 7:30 p.m.

Where: Dr. James Carlson Library, 2801 32nd Avenue South, Fargo Price: Free Info: This is a class for those who haven’t tried yoga before or who want a refresher.

The purpose of this class is to provide a relaxing environment to focus on taking care of YOU! Along with gentle stretching, this class will also teach breathing exercises to provide calmness.

Please bring a yoga mat if you have one or a large towel, and wear comfortable clothing that is easy to move in. This free program is recommended for adults, and no registration is required.

8 School Spirit: Exhibition Reception

Where: Plains Art Museum, 704 1st Avenue N, Fargo When: 1 to 4 p.m.

Price:Event is free.

Info: School Spirit: Celebrating Youth Art Month, now in its 18th year, showcases the talents of regional K-12 art students from over 40 area schools in a variety of media. This exhibition celebrates our region’s emerging artists and promotes awareness of the vital work being done by our local art educators. Art education develops self-esteem, appreciation for the work of others, creative problem solving, communication, and critical thinking skills; all vital to the success of today’s youth.

Share in the excitement at this artist reception for students, friends, family, and educators. Light refreshments and art-making projects offered, with music performances by Fargo Moorhead Area Youth Symphonies at 2:15 and 3:30 PM. School Spirit is generously sponsored by the Phyllis Thysell Education Fund.

Support also provided by Hornbacher’s. https://plainsart.org/exhibitions/ school-spirit-4/

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Where: Radisson Hotel Fargo, 201 5th Street North, Fargo When: 4 to 7 p.m.

Price: Event is free but registration is required.

Info:International Women's Day is a global day celebrating the social, economic, cultural & celebrate women achievements.

Theme: #EachforEqual This event is sponsor by Change Network, South Sudan READS, and by The birthing of a Diamond Women in Action. There will be great speakers at the event and please RSVP and dinner be will serve on us. Thank you.

Search “Celebrate Women- International Women's Day” on Eventbrite.com

11 2020 Leading Ladies Luncheon

When: 11 a.m. to 1 p.m.

Where: Holiday Inn Fargo, 38330 13th Ave. S, Fargo Price: $35 Info: North Dakota Women's Business Center is celebrating Women's History Month with a panel that features five of North Dakota's leading ladies. Join us to learn from, connect with, and be inspired by this network of visionary women.

"Search 2020 Leading Ladies Luncheon - Fargo" on Eventbrite.com

13 Knight For A Princess

When: 6 to 9 p.m. on March 13 and 14 Where: The Alerus Center, 1200 S 42nd St, Grand Forks, Price: $30 per person (Ticket includes a t-shirt for each young lady) Info: Attention, little princesses! The Grand Forks Park District invites young ladies under the age of 16 and a special escort (i.e. daddy, grandpa, uncle) to attend a Knight for a Princess. Guests typically dress formally and enter a room fit for a princess where they will enjoy a special photo session as a couple, flower and gift bag for the princess, catered dinner, prize drawings and an evening of dancing. https://www.gfparks.org/ programs-activities/special-events/ knight-for-a-princess/

Enneagram and Chill

When: 10 a,m., to 4 p.m.

Where: HeartSprings Community Healing Center, 2010 Elm Street North, Fargo Price: $90 Info: This is an invitation to experience an overview of the Enneagram, a personality typing system based on ancient wisdom that is helping millions of people to find and live from the truest, most authentic part of themselves. More and more people are finding the Enneagram to be a tool taking them into deeper dimensions of the spiritual path they are already on.

The benefits show up in our personal, as well as professional life. Linda Johansen, the presenter, believes that more people living authentically contributes to better communities and ultimately a better world. http://www.heartspringscenter.org/ calendar.html

20 & 21 Youth Mental Health First Aid

When: 5 p.m, and at noon on March 21 Where: Altru Professional Center, 2nd Floor Conference Room, 4440 South Washington, Grand Forks Price: $20 Info: 1 in 5 youth lives with mental health issues. Become certified in YMHFA to assist the youth in your life. Mental Health First Aid teaches you how to identify, understand, and respond to signs of mental illnesses and substance use disorders. This 8-hour training gives you the skills you need to reach out and provide initial support to someone who may be developing a mental health or substance use problem and help connect them to appropriate professional help. https://www.mentalhealthfirstaid.org/ population-focused-modules/youth/

21 Movie Matinee

When; 2 to 4:30 p.m.

Where: Moorhead Public Library, 118 5th Street South, Moorhead Price: Free Info: Join us on the third Saturday of the month for a family film and free popcorn.

The library will be screening "Downton Abbey," ©Focus Features, rated PG-13. https://larl.org/locations/moorhead/

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Awesome Art Afternoon

LEGO Club

When: 1 to 3 p.m.

Where: Robert D. Johnson Recreation Center, 1104 2nd Ave. S, Fargo Price: Free Info: Love art but hate the mess? Bring your child to these interactive art programs to have fun while building a variety of take-home projects. All creative materials will be provided. This program is free. Adult supervision required.

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | MARCH • APRIL 2020

When; 2 to 4 p.m.

Where: Moorhead Public Library, 118 5th Street South, Moorhead Price: Free Info: People of all ages and creative ability are welcome to come make their own LEGO creation with the library's LEGO Club. Supplies provided. https://larl.org/locations/moorhead/

What: Japanese Lanterns

Where: Plains Art Museum 704 1st Ave. Fargo When: 10:00 am – 12:00 pm Price: $25 or $20 for members Info: Build a lantern of using the slab method with teaching artist, Olivia Bain.

Children 8 and up can create their own lantern, but children 4-7 should create a lantern with an adult. Each participant making a lantern should register for a spot. All children must have an adult accompany them. https://public.plainsart.org/public/ FamilyPreview.faces?wrkid=472

31 Purses for a Purpose

When: 6 to 8:30 p.m.

Where: Avalon Events Center, 2525 9th Ave S, Fargo Price: Tickets range from $25 for individual or $300 for table with eight seats.

Info: Fundraiser and awareness for the fight against human trafficking in the FM area/North Dakota. Purses for a Purpose will raise funds to support the mission of The Next Step ND to continue raising awareness, education, and help to establish survivors back into the community.

This is the 3rd annual Purses for a Purpose fundraiser, Your ticket price includes appetizers and desserts. A cash bar will be available.

Search "Purses for a Purpose - The Next Step ND" at Eventbrite.com.

North Dakota Family Based Conference: Bright Futures Together

Where: Holiday Inn Fargo., 3803 13th Avenue South, Fargo When: 9 a.m. on March 31 through noon on April 3 Price: Tickets range from $65 for Preconference access only to $180 for full access to whole, conference Info: Join us for 32nd annual North Dakota Family Based Services Conference: Bright Future Together. This year we highlight and promote family based services in North Dakota with those who share in our objective to maintain, strengthen, and empower families. The North Dakota Family Based Services Association along with our volunteer Board of Directors and committees have a longstanding commitment to revitalize North Dakota’s diverse audience of social workers, counselors, addiction counselors, therapists, educators, family advocates, youth leaders, foster parents, adoptive parents and supervisors through education and professional development. Attend the four day conference designed to inspire hope as part of our commitment to serving children and families of North Dakota.

Search “Bright Futures Together” on Eventbrite.com.

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Breaking the Bullying Cycle: Real Solutions to Stop the Hurting

Kid Quest – Steam Boom Boom Drum

Bumb2Baby Expo

When: 6:30 to 8:30 p.m.

Where: Holiday Inn Fargo , 3803 13th Avenue South, Fargo Price: Free Info: Join Imagine Thriving and the North Dakota Family Based Services Conference on Wednesday, April 1st at 6:30 p.m. the Holiday Inn Fargo for our free community event featuring special guest speaker Ron Shuali and his presentation, Breaking the Bullying Cycle: Real Solutions to Stop the Hurting.

Search "Breaking the Bullying Cycle: Real Solutions to Stop the Hurting" on Eventbrite.com

2 & 21 Baby Rhyme Time

Where: Fargo Public Libraries When: 10 a.m. at Carlson or 6:30 to 7:30 p.m. at Main Library Baby Rhyme Time is also scheduled for April 21 Price: Free Info: Babies ages birth to 18 months are invited to join us for lapsit storytimes.

Held the first and third Thursday of each month, Baby Rhyme Time takes place at the Dr. James Carlson Library at 10 a.m., and at the Main Library at 6:30 p.m. Share songs, fingerplays, short books, rhythms and rhymes with your baby while introducing them to books and the library! Each session concludes with open play time. No registration is required. One child per grown-up lap please. Contact Children's Services at 701-241-1495 for details or email kids@ fargolibrary.org

Where: Plains Art Museum 704 1st Ave. Fargo When: 1:00 – 4:00 pm Price: Free!

Info: Join guest Artist Smith’s Medical Engineering STEAM collaboration and get inspired by the science behind the human heart. https://plainsart.org/create/

6 Low Sensory Mondays

Where: Plains Art Museum 704 1st Ave. Fargo When: 2 to 5 p.m.

Price: Free Info:We embrace the unique qualities of all who walk through our doors and appreciate that many visitors need to explore the Museum in different ways. For individuals and families who prefer a quiet, less sensory-stimulating environment we offer Low-Sensory Mondays on the first Monday afternoon of every month. At each event, loud gallery sounds and bright lights are turned down and attendance is limited. Fidget bags will be available for checkout. Please contact Carol Prafcke at 701.551.6147 with any questions.

7 Tuesdays for Toddlers

Where: Plains Art Museum, 704 1st Avenue N, Fargo North Dakota 58102 When: 9 to 10 a.m.

Price: $5 per person Info: A time for our youngest visitors and their grown-ups to foster creativity and imagination through stories, songs, and hands-on art activities. Each month we will offer a unique theme and a new art project for the child to create and take home. Suggested for children ages 2 to 5. Younger siblings are allowed to accompany the group. www.plainsart.org/events/

When: 10 a.m. to 5:30 p.m.

Where: Holiday Inn Fargo, 3803 13th Avenue South, Fargo Price: Tickets range from $10 to $25 Info: If you are looking for everything you need from planning your family through raising your child in one place, the Bump2Baby Expo is for you!

Vendors ranging from Doulas, Photographers, Chiropractors, Lactation Support, Physical Therapists and so much more will be in one place to answer any questions you may have. Search "Bumb2Baby Expo" on Eventbrite.com

Recycling the Clay Day

Where: Plains Art Museum 7 04 1st Ave. Fargo When: 10:00 am – 12:00 pm or 12:30 – 2:30 pm Price: $5.00 per person Info: Celebrate Earth Day with recycled clay. Cost covers creating, glazing, and firing up to two objects. https://public.plainsart.org/public/ FamilyClasses.faces

19 Artist Trading Cards

Where: Plains Art Museum 704 1st Ave. Fargo When: 1:00 – 3:00 pm Price: $10 or $8 for members Info: Design your own trading card complete you your own rarity or special ability at this drop in workshop. Cards will be 3.5” x 2.5”, and bring in a photo of yourself if you’d like. All ages welcome. https://public.plainsart.org/public/ FamilyPreview.faces?wrkid=473

APRIL EVENTS 25 Art + Autism – Prismatic Patterns

Where: Plains Art Museum 704 1st Ave. Fargo When: 10:00 – 11:30 am Price: Free!

Info: Program developed for families with children on the Autism Spectrum Disorder. Explore the colorful, geometric patterns in artist Dyani White Hawk’s work.

After a short snack break, create your own patterned art project in our studios. https://public.plainsart.org/public/ FamilyPreview.faces?wrkid=468

30 Cooking for a Cause Gourmet Gala

When: 6 to 9:30 p.m.

Where: Avalon Events Center, 2525 9th Avenue South, Fargo Price: $75 to $1,000 depending on type of ticket.

Info:Dine and delight your taste buds with delectable and savory samples from the areas finest chefs and restaurants all while celebrating and supporting healthy cooking and wellness programs. All funds raised go towards the Family Wellness Inspire Wellness Initiative to help people in our community to cook well, move well, and live well for life. The Junior Chef winners from the Healthy Kids Cooking Competition will be recognized and we will also feature live music from Heart & Soul, and Silent and Live Auctions.

Hosting an event that you would like to have published in the On The Minds of Moms magazine? Email moms@forumcomm.com.

Have your birthday party at the Fargo Air Museum! $100 Venue Fee (usually $300) • Ages 5+ only $15 each Ages 3+ only $7 each • 2 OR MORE HOURS OF FUN!

Call 701-293-8043 OR

INCLUDES: Cake, Pizza, Goodie Bags, Bottled Water and Museum Admission

LIMITED TIME OFFER! 1609 19th Avenue North, Fargo, ND

FargoAirMuseum.org ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | MARCH • APRIL 2020

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RESOURCES

CONNECT, FIND HELP, GET ANSWERS, MAKE A DIFFERENCE

Divorce Care for Kids 13 week session for kids ages 6 and up at Hope Lutheran South Campus – Call for session dates 701.235.6629.

information, contact Kara Jones, 701.446.8056 or karaljones@ gmail.com, or Liz St. Louis, 701.212.7877 or estlouis4@gmail.com.

Pregnancy, Parenting and Adoption Services [PPAS] The PPAS program provides decisionmaking counseling, parenting support and adoption services to those facing unintended pregnancies. For expectant parents who choose to parent their child, PPAS provides resources to help them prepare for their new baby. For more information, call 701.235.4457, email info@ catholiccharitiesnd.org, or visit www.catholiccharitiesnd.org.

Hands & Voices Hands & Voices is a non-profit, parent-driven organization dedicated to supporting families of children who are deaf or hard of hearing without bias around communication modes or methodology.

What Works for your Child is What Makes the Choice Right™ Contact us for more information at 701.484.1605, contact@ ndhandsandvoices.org, or visit www.ndhandsandvoices.org.

Prevent Child Abuse North Dakota PCAND is a 501(c)3 not-forprofit organization and Chapter of Prevent Child Abuse America that is dedicated exclusively to the prevention of child abuse and neglect. PCAND, formerly known as the North Dakota Committee to Prevent Child Abuse and Parents Anonymous, has been working to prevent child abuse and strengthen families in North Dakota since 1978. For parenting education, support and materials, visit www.pcand.org.

FM Busy Babies Connecting parents with information, insights, and activities. FMBB also hosts events with the goal of giving back to our community.

For more information, visit www.fmbusybabies.com.

Post Adopt Support Group Any ND adoptive family or any ND family providing guardianships are invited to attend this group meeting. If you have questions, please email postadopt@pathinc. org or call 701.551.6349. Visit our website [www.ndpostadopt. org] for meeting times across the state of North Dakota.

Jeremiah Program Empowerment. Education. Success. It is what the Jeremiah Program was built on, what participants strive for and what the program helps participants achieve. At the Jeremiah Program, low-income single mothers make a commitment to completing a postsecondary education, launching a successful career and creating stability and prosperity for their children—all while living in our affordable, safe housing environment. For more information, call 701.361.3873, email fargomoorhead@jeremiahprogram.org or visit www.facebook.com/JeremiahProgramFargoMoorhead.

Up With Downs Supporting families of Down syndrome. For more

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Red River Moms Of Multiples 2nd Tuesday of each month. For more information visit wwww.rrvmothersofmultiples.weebly.com.

Children's Consultation Network Provides access to early childhood mental health screening, assessment and consultation, develops and distributes children's mental health resources, provides community education, seeks to diminish stigma, and facilitates collaborative efforts related to children's mental health services, especially for children ages 0-8. For more information, 701.526.1565 or www.rvcscc.org.

Gigi’s Playhouse A Down syndrome achievement center providing resources, specialized teaching, and support to individuals with Down syndrome, their families and the community. All programs are free. For more information, call 701.551.7529 or visit www.gigisplayhouse.org/fargo.

Adults Adoption Special Kids [AASK] The AASK program is North Dakota's program providing adoption services to children in foster care and the families who adopt them. The program is a collaborative effort of Catholic Charities.

North Dakota and PATH ND, Inc. For more information, call 701.235.4457, email info@ catholiccharitiesnd.org, or visit www.catholiccharitiesnd.org.

Parent Professional Learning Network The Parent Professional Learning Network is a Parent Navigator Team with Family Voices of North Dakota offering an opportunity for parents of children with special needs and the professionals who work with them to come together to learn and grow. For more information email parentproflearningnetwork@gmail.com.

The Compassionate Friends 2nd Thursday of each month, 7:00pm

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | MARCH • APRIL 2020

at Faith Lutheran Church [127 2nd Ave E, West Fargo]. Offering grief support after the death of a child. For more information email chapterleader@tcffargomoorhead.org, call 701.491.0364 or visit tcffargomoorhead.org/.

Tender Transitions Every Tuesday and Friday from 1pm to 3pm at Essentia Health South University 6th Floor Conference Room. For all new moms in the FM area. For questions, call 701.364.8066.

La Leche League of FargoMoorhead 2nd Thursday of each month at 7pm. For more information visit www.lllofmndas.org/ fargo-moorhead.html.

MOMS Club of Fargo/Moorhead IR, ND Provides monthly activities, playgroups, special projects, and support for local moms.

This group is open to moms and their children in the F-M area.

For more information contact momscluboffm@gmail.com or visit www.facebook.com/ MomsClubFargo.

Harlynn’s Heart Providing multiple services, resources, and comforts to parents, families, and friends who have or will experience perinatal loss. For more information, visit www. harlynnsheart.org or email info@harlynnsheart.org.

North Dakota Reading Corps The North Dakota Reading Corps is a regional initiative to help every child become a successful reader by the end of 3rd grade.

The program places AmeriCorps members as literacy tutors in the Fargo, Jamestown, and West Fargo school districts to implement researched-based, early-literacy efforts to help struggling readers.

All AmeriCorps members receive free training and work 1-on-1 with K-3 students. A living allowance is provided, dependent on amount of hours chosen to work (15-20 or 20-25 per week). Hours fall during school hours, run five days a week August – May, and must be on a set schedule. An education award is also available upon completion to pay qualified student loans or tuition expenses.

For more information, visit www. ndseec.com/readingcorps or contact Jolene Garty at 701.446.3173 or gartyj@ndseec.com.

Catholic Charities ND Counseling Professional and confidential counselors provide services to individuals, couples and families dealing with relationship issues, stress or anger management and a variety of other issues. We work with most insurances, EAP’s and have a sliding fee scale for

those that don’t qualify for other resources. For more information, call 701.235.4457, email info@ catholiccharitiesnd.org, or visit www.catholiccharitiesnd.org.

Child Asperger Support Group Every Tuesday from 12:00pm to 1:00pm at Olivet Lutheran Church [1303 S University Dr, Fargo]. For additional information visit www.rrvan.org Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support Group Hospice of the Red River Valley [www.hrrv.org], in partnership with Harlynn’s Heart [www. harlynnsheart.org], offers an ongoing pregnancy and infant loss support group, meeting the fourth Tuesday of each month from 6:30pm-8pm at the Hospice of the Red River Valley [1701 38th St S, Fargo]. Please use the west door.

This is an ongoing support group for anyone who has experienced the death of a baby through pregnancy loss, stillbirth, or in the first year of life. The purpose of this group is to provide compassionate grief support, understanding, and resources to bereaved parents while allowing them to share their grief in a safe place with others who are experiencing a similar journey. This group is free and open to the public. For more information or questions, call 800.237.4629 and ask for the bereavement department.

Marine Moms Support Group If you are the Mother of a Marine, [or any other branch of the military], then you are one of the family! Join other Marine Moms from Sub-Station Fargo [SubStation Fargo, ND covers west to Valley City, ND, east to New York Mills, MN, north to the Canadian Border & south to the South Dakota state line] once a month for: Support, Hugs, Advice, Praise, Tears, Love, Stories, Laughter, Inspiration, Encouragement, Experiences, Insight, Information, Motivation, Pictures & more at 1:30pm the 3rd Saturday of each month. For meeting location and more information contact Ruth Danuser at 701.799.8946 or ruthddanuser@gmail.com.

OORAH! Beyond the NICU Doors A community support network for parents who have experienced time in a NICU. Monthly gathering starting in September will be the 4th Tuesday from 7:00pm8:30pm at the Anne Carlson Center located behind Subway on the corner of 13th Ave S and 25th St S in Fargo. Gatherings include a speaker and children are welcome as there are toys and space available. This is open to all NICU families regardless of

location of NICU experience. This is a cooperative effort between Region V Experienced Parent and March of dimes NICU Family Support. Any Questions please call Moe Schreoder at 701.237.3558 or Colette Christoffers at 701.235.5530 FM Autism Support Group 2nd Friday of each month from 7:00pm-9:00pm at YMCA Downtown [401 1st Av S, Fargo].

For more information, visit www. facebook.com/FM-Autism-Support-Group-171027578792.

DMF Lend A Hand Offers resources and matching funds to improve volunteer efforts that benefit people experiencing a medical crisis. Learn more about current efforts and/or to make a tax-deductible donation go to www.dakmed.org/lendahand.

North Dakota Home School Association Providing information on the North Dakota home school law, contacts for area support groups, a free downloadable Home School Packet, convention information, the current statement of intent form, and thoughtful articles on various aspects of private, parent-directed home education. Visit www. homeschool-life.com/nd/ndhsa for more information.

Healthy Steps A health insurance program for North Dakota children age 18 or younger who do not have health insurance coverage, do not qualify or are not fully covered by the North Dakota Medicaid Program, and live in qualifying families. The benefits are offered at no or very low cost. For more information 877.543.7669 or www.healthystepsnd.com.

HOPE, Inc. Provides a year-round sports and recreation program for children and young adults ages 2-23 with mobility challenges. We are family-centered and provide extra equipment so the ENTIRE family can play!

Contact Adair at 701.866.9002 or adair@hopeinconline.org for more information or visit www. hopeinconline.org.

Ronald McDonald House Charities of the Red River Valley, Inc. Provides lodging and emotional support to parents and siblings of children requiring medical treatment who also benefit by knowing their families are close by. Visit www.rmhcfargo.org for more information.

Riding On Angels’ Wings Therapeutic horseback riding for children with disabilities.

Volunteers are always welcome.

Contact Bette Shipley - Felton, MN 701.793.5153 or www.ridingonangelswings.org Rape & Abuse Crisis Center Crisis intervention, advocacy, and

counseling services to all persons who have been victims of domestic violence or sexual abuse. Volunteer or donate. Call 701.293.7273 or visit www.raccfm.com

Intolerance, or Gluten Sensitivity.

You do not need to be a paid member of this group to attend any meetings. For more information, visit www.gluten.org/localbranches/fargo-moorhead.

Rainbow Bridge Visitation & Safe Exchange Because of dedicated individuals who volunteer their time, Rainbow Bridge is able to meet the ever increasing visitation needs of our families. For more information visit www. rainbowbridgekids.net or call 218.512.1555.

Special Olympics Provides year-round sports training for all kids and adults with intellectual disabilities. To inquire about volunteering opportunities go to www.specialolympicsnorth dakota.org.

ALS Support 2nd Tuesday of each month those living with ALS and their loved ones share concerns and ideas about living with ALS. For more information call 701.235.1988.

Eating Disorders Monthly Family & Friends Support Group If you have a loved one with an eating disorder, you are invited and encouraged to attend this support group dedicated to providing a comfortable, supportive, and confidential environment where you will be provided with information about eating disorders and tools to aid in your loved one’s recovery.

This group is open to friends, parents, partners, caregivers and adult children. Registration: for more information, contact Kara Woodbury Fladland, LPCC 701.234.4111, or visit www.sanfordhealth.org/classesandevents/ ClassDetail/cb9a7533-e6f941cb-b562-3a7c0fc46f45.

FirstChoice Clinic Provides pregnancy confirmation and counseling, prenatal and parenting classes, community referrals to help individuals make life affirming choices. Call 701.237.5902 or visit www.firstchoiceclinic. com. Volunteer or donate at www. teamfirstchoiceclinic.com.

Survivor of Suicide Loss 3rd Thursday of each month. Provide a safe, accepted and supportive environment and opportunity to talk openly. For more information contact Mary at 701.219.4110 or afspnd@gmail.com.

Birthright Pregnancy testing, counseling, prenatal and parenting education, maternity and infant clothing, emergency supplies of diapers and formula and labor support. All services are free and confidential. To volunteer or donate contact 218.477.1977 or www.birthright.org.

PATH of North Dakota An organization offering a more personalized approach to foster care. For more information www.pathinc. org or 701.293.9968.

Gluten Intolerance Group of Fargo/Moorhead GIG of F/M holds gatherings for education, fellowship, and support for those living with Celiac Disease, Gluten

FirstLink Provides telephone support including information and referral of local non-profits, listening and support, crisis intervention and suicide intervention 701.235.7335.

MOMS Club of West Fargo Offers support, activities, and friendship for moms who work at home full or part time. For more information, visit www.facebook.com/ MOMSClubWestFargo or email momsclubofwf@yahoo.com South East Regional KIDS Program An Infant Development Service providing home-based family focused services at no cost to families having an eligible infant or toddler under the age of three. Call 701.446.3927 for more information.

Experienced Parent Support Group Support and Resource to families who have a child that is active with the South East Regional KIDS Program. For more information please contact Moe Schroeder at 701.237.3558 or mrschroeder@nd.gov.

Hospice An end-of-life care that provides comfort and support for patients and their families, Hospice also provides support groups for adults and children grieving the loss of a loved one.

For more information or to make a donation, visit www.hrrv.org.

Cullen Children’s Foundation Provide financial resources to organizations that support children’s healthcare needs, with an emphasis on cancer.

For information on volunteering, being a part of a committee or to make a donation, visit www.cullyskids.com.

Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch Offers a year-round opportunity for volunteers [individuals, groups/part-time, full-time] for its thrift stores. To volunteer call 701.277.9424.

United Way of Cass-Clay Our Goal: To make our community a better place to live, work and raise our families. We are driven by this mission because underneath everything we are, underneath everything we do, we are all people, connected, interdependent, united. Our Mission: United Way of Cass-Clay brings people together to create lasting change that will improve

lives. For more information visit www.uwcc.net.

Basic Training for New Dads With an experienced dad leading the way, new dads discuss adjusting to fatherhood, what to expect from a newborn baby and how to support mom during this time.

For more information visit www. essentiahealth.com.

FM MOMSnext For moms of school aged children kindergarten to college to discuss various topics on parenting, motherhood and women ministries. Meet the 2nd Wednesday of the month at First United Methodist Church [906 1st Ave S, Fargo] from 6:00pm to 7:30pm.

Children's programming also available at the same time and need not be a member of the Church to have your children involved. Contact 701.232.4416 or email fmmomsnext@hotmail. com for more information.

North Dakota College Save A 529 college savings plan, including a matching grant for ND residents. For more information www.collegesave4u.com or 1.866.SAVE.529.

MOPS [Mothers of Preschooler] A place to find friendship, community, resources and support for you as a woman and mother so you're not alone.

• Olivet Lutheran Church [1330 S University Dr, Fargo] 1st & 3rd Thursday 9:00am to 11:00pm • First United Methodist Church [906 1st Ave S, Fargo] 1st & 3rd Thursday 9:15am to 11:15am • Heartland MOPS [1751 Main Ave E, West Fargo at Heartland Community Church] 2nd Thursday 6:00pm to 8:00pm • Atonement Lutheran Church [4601 University Dr S, Fargo] Every other Tuesday 9:00am to 11:00am. Meetings include brunch, speakers, crafts, discussion and service projects. First meeting free. For more info call 701.237.9651 or visit www. atonementmops.org.

• Hope Lutheran Church [3636 25th St S, Fargo] 3rd Saturday 9:00am to 11:00am

To submit a group or resource for consideration to published email information to moms@forumcomm.com On The Minds of Mom staff does its best to keep information accurate, but organizations are responsible for providing updated information.

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | MARCH • APRIL 2020

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Fostering a growth mindset Tips for raising kids who are physically and mentally strong, at every stage of childhood

B

Tracy Briggs, Melissa Davidson, Mary Jo Hotzler and Paula Quam share how to help your kids to grow strong, both mentally and physically.

eing a parent isn’t easy. Neither is being a kid.

Think about all of that energy required for growing, learning and absorbing everything there is to offer in this fast-paced world. It’s exhausting to even think about, especially for those of us parents who are, well … already exhausted.

That said, it’s important that as moms talk about how we are fueling our

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ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | MARCH • APRIL 2020

own bodies, minds and souls, we also consider that our children have the very same needs.

At every stage of life, there are ways we can help our kids boost their health and build their minds. It could be as simple as reading to your child, or including a piece of fruit in their lunch bag.

By getting off to the right start in life, you set your child up for success in the future.

READY, SET, GROW

It's never too early to start good oral hygiene habits for your wee one.

Wee ones [0-18 months]

From early on, babies are susceptible to something called baby bottle tooth decay from exposure to liquids containing sugar. This could include milk even breast milk - formula or juice.

Talk to your dentist or doctor about putting fluoride varnish on your child’s teeth as soon as the first tooth appears.

And while it may seem necessary at times to put your baby to bed or down for a nap with a bottle, the truth is this can cause serious and rapid tooth decay. Baby bottle tooth decay happens when liquid pools around the baby's teeth, giving plaque bacteria an opportunity to produce acids that attack tooth enamel.

Another thing to watch out for is sippy cups, which many parents use to help transition babies from bottles to cups. But using anything but water in sippy cups throughout the day can be problematic since it can soak your baby's teeth in cavity-causing bacteria.

The American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry has these tips for parents who want to make their baby's oral health a top priority: Wipe gums twice a day with a soft, clean cloth in the morning after the first feeding and again right before bed to wipe away bacteria and sugars that can lead to cavities.

When teeth come in, start brushing twice a day with a soft, small‑bristled toothbrush and plain water.

You can use a tiny smear of fluoride toothpaste to brush those baby teeth as soon as they erupt.

Visit the dentist by your baby’s first birthday to spot signs of problems early.

When teeth come in, start brushing twice a day with a soft, small-bristled toothbrush and plain water for babies aged 18 months or younger. iStock.com | Special to On The Minds of Moms Sources: American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry, dakotapediatricdentistry.com

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | MARCH • APRIL 2020

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Tots

Music matters.

[18 months to 3 years]

Consider making music with your toddler, it can be fun and help their brain to develop. iStock | Special to On The Minds of Moms When children are exposed to music from an early age, it can accelerate brain development, language development, speech perception and reading skills, according to a study by the Brain and Creativity Institute at University of Southern California.

Toddlers are the perfect audience.

By this time in their early lives, kids can pick up on rhythm and love dancing to the beats. Songs with rhymes and repetition are a particularly big hit at this age. B-I-N-G-O anyone?

The thought of your toddler banging on pots and pans might have you banging your head against the wall. But consider joining in instead and making music together.

Turn your story time into singing time. Pick a character and sing their lines or turn a whole book into a musical.

Incorporate music into your daily tasks; sing during chores and bath time.

Here are a few ways to you can easily incorporate music into your toddler’s world:

Take advantage of what the community has to offer, be it a mommy and me music class or other live music opportunities, such as a festival or a school recital.

Sing in the car. No matter where you are headed, you can make the trip more enjoyable by singing a song your child might know.

Sources: Brain and Creativity Institute, USC; www.preventchildabuse.org

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READY, SET, GROW

You’ve gotten through the diapers and baby bottles; next stop—preschool, where all the preparation for the real deal happens.

Preschoolers [3 to 5 years old]

While this transition to a more structured setting helps ease little ones into the future full days of class, there still may be feelings of anxiety and trepidation when the big day arrives. How can you help give them the skills to manage those feelings on that day and beyond?

One option is yoga. Amy Pedersen, enrichment coordinator at Fraser, Ltd Childcare Center has seen how the practice has benefited many kids in the foundation’s program. She said she not only teaches children postures, but also breathing techniques, mindfulness activities and guided relaxation—all skills that can help them deal with daily stressors.

It’s a toolbox of techniques and like any type of technique, early exposure is key.

Whether it’s at preschool or home here are some additional tools to help fill your kid’s toolbox:

it builds children’s patience, kindness and understanding—important skills for school and the diverse adult world ahead.

• Pretend.

What better way to build excitement for school and expose your child to what they may see and do than by playing school at home!

• Read.

Whether it’s a book for you or your child, fueling your mind and theirs with healthy messages around emotions and new experiences is a great way to develop positive thought patterns.

• Yoga at home.

There are many local classes and also some preschools incorporating yoga into their curriculum. To get started at home, the Cosmic Kids yoga channel on YouTube is a great option that is fun and easy.

• Build emotional intelligence.

Teaching kids emotional intelligence builds empathy and helps them communicate and deal with unpleasant feelings. There are many books and online resources, including The Positive Psychology website.

Sources: Amy Pederson, Enrichment Coordinator, Fraser Ltd. Child Care Center; https://positivepsychology.com/ emotional-intelligence-for-kids/

• Practice inclusiveness.

Places like Fraser Childcare see firsthand how when kids of all developmental abilities interact ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | MARCH • APRIL 2020

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If you have a sweet-toothed, Dorito-loving kiddo (aren’t they all?) you know that getting healthy foods into their judgemental bellies can be a challenge.

Big kids [6 to 9 years old]

While it’s tempting to default to less-than-ideal options to keep those little humans alive, you could be enabling unhealthy habits and setting the stage for future health issues. It also puts their overall wellbeing at risk, from energy levels to cognitive abilities.

Incorporating whole foods, those that are minimally processed if at all, into your kid's diet provides optimal nourishment so every system can function at full capacity. That means their little bodies have more energy for things like fighting off tiny invaders, learning math and exerting the energy needed to hit the gym floor running.

Here are some tips that can make getting your kids to eat more whole foods easier: • Get creative. Kids are visual eaters, so presentation goes a long way. Pinterest is loaded with elaborate penguins and caterpillars if you’re up for that, but cookie cutters and melon ballers are just as great.

• Incorporate naturally sweet, nutrient-dense vegetables. Foods like sweet potatoes, corn and carrots are a great way to transition those little sugar lovers.

• Think outside the box. California rolls, buddha bowls, wraps and kabobs are all great ways to package up multiple food groups.

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Help your big kid to develop healthy habits with fresh, simple recipes. iStock.com Special to On the Minds of Moms • Don’t give up. Your child may need to taste new foods and flavors many times before they come to like it.

• Talk. Sharing the benefits of eating healthy can help your kid feel empowered to make healthy choices on their own.

• Get them involved. When kids help with food selection and preparation, they’re more likely to eat it.

• Be a role model. This doesn’t mean you need to power through a bowl of broccoli. Find what foods and recipes work for you and your family.

Sources: Center for Parenting https://centerforparentingeducation.org/library-of-articles/nutritionand-healthy-lifestyle/sugar-and-our-childrenwhats-the-deal/

Not a young child, not quite yet a teenager, the tween years between 10 and 12 are some of the most turbulent years for a child.

READY, SET, GROW

Tweeners [10 to 12 years old]

Low self-esteem and negative body image can take over as puberty sets in. Children are bombarded with messages from the traditional and social media about what is desirable and what is not. They start to judge their developing bodies against those of photoshopped celebrities. The result can be damaging to their young psyche.

Here are some tips to help your tween navigate the bumpy road toward achieving high self-esteem and positive body image.

Be a good example. Children will take more notice of what you do versus what you say. If you come home from work complaining that “I was bad today.

I had a burger and fries for lunch,” they’ll start to equate some foods as good and others as bad. The same is true for putting yourself down. If they hear you call yourself “fat” why wouldn’t they say the same about themselves?

Get them involved in activities. Research shows children involved in team sports or activities tend to have higher self-esteem than those who only participate in individual sports or hobbies. They get validation and support from other children with similar interests.

Praise effort over performance. Focus less on the end result and more on the development of new skills.

They might lose this game, but they’re building skills for the next game.

Let them fail. Don’t be a snowplow parent - clearing the path for your tween at every turn. Let them face their fears. Conquering something outside their comfort sign is an automatic self-esteem booster.

Help tweens to develop self-confidence by praising effort over performance. iStock.com | Special to On the Minds of Moms

Sources: Child Mind Institute, American Psychological Association

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | MARCH • APRIL 2020

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READY, SET, GROW

We’re used to nagging teenagers to slow down when they’re driving too fast, but many mental health experts believe we should be telling them to slow down every single day — mentally.

Teens [13 to 18 years old]

Teens need downtime when they can stop, relax, breathe and either do nothing or do something simple and fun. From the time they were born, this generation of teens has been kept incredibly busy, as parents often signed them up for every extra curricular activity under the sun and habitually made sure they were involved in mentally stimulating experiences.

However, as they enter the teen years, that constant stimulation, coupled with growing academic and social pressures, can create an anxiety that stays with them from the minute they get up until the minute they finally fall asleep.

Maybe you’re thinking, “My teen gets plenty of downtime on their phones or video games,” but screen time is not downtime because their brains are still submersed in those same social pressures that come with digital communication. Real downtime — unstructured free-form play — is linked to increased cognitive skills, physical health, self-regulation, language abilities, social skills and empathy. A few ideas include: • Spending time outdoors (bonfires, camping, hiking, biking, fishing, lounging...etc.)

• Hanging out — in person — with family and friends • Reading something light and fun, listening to music, watching TV/ movies

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ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | MARCH • APRIL 2020

Encourage your teen to spend time outdoors, unstructured free-form play is linked to increased cognitive skills, physical health and self-regulation. iStock.com | Special to On the Minds of Moms • Family game night • Going to the pool/ lake • Napping • Anything artistic • Cooking or baking

Sources: Challenge Success, Stanford University Graduate School of Education; challengesuccess.org

ON THE MINDS OF MOMS | MARCH • APRIL 2020

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GET SCREENED GET SCREENED Colorectal cancer cancer is Colorectal preventable. is preventable.

All it takes is one day and oneAll screening toone safeguard it takes is day and yourself from the second one screening to safeguard deadliest cancer. yourself from the second

deadliest Whether you cancer. have been worried about thehave time, the Whether you been cost, the embarrassment or the worried about the time, youcost, don’tthe have symptoms or or embarrassment a family history, setsymptoms it aside. or you don’t have a family history, it aside.

Instead, make your set health a priority.

Instead, make your health a priority.

Visit sanfordhealth.org/screenings to schedule your colonoscopy.

Visit sanfordhealth.org/screenings to schedule your colonoscopy.

039029-00121 1/20

039029-00121 1/20