April/May 2018 On the Minds of Moms by on the minds of moms

april–may

twenty eighteen

the valley’s

for today’s

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contents

in every issue food for thought . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16 event calendar . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18 shutterbug

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22

contents

sections did you know #B2Wmomâ&#x20AC;&#x201A;the back to work mom program . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14

gettin' through it midwife myths . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24

camps summer camps & activities 2018 . . . . . . . . . 24

just a thought chose joy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 34

ready, set, grow discipline . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 42

contents

feature & profiles

mod mom profile jenessa fillipi . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10

rad dad profile matt fowler . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30

cover story andi olsonawski lessons from her greatest race . . . . . . . . . . 36

photo: exposures by j.linnea | josette hayes

contents

moms

on the minds of

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

PUBLISHER DS Communication, LLC EDITORS Sheri Kleinsasser Stockmoe p: 701.306.1624 e: sheri@onthemindsofmoms.com Dani Parkos Fluge e: dani@onthemindsofmoms.com

COPY EDITOR Charlotte Berg

ADVERTISING Patty Nystrom p: 701.269.4180 e: patty@onthemindsofmoms.com Sheri Kleinsasser Stockmoe p: 701.306.1624 e: sheri@onthemindsofmoms.com

PHOTOGRAPHY Renee Clasen – ten little chickens photography Josette Hayes–exposures by j.linnea Scott Thuen-thuen studios DESIGN AND LAYOUT

Scott Thuen – thuen studios www.thuenstudios.com

AD DESIGN Casie Beldo Scott Thuen Tara Kessler Stephanie Drietz CONTACT mail: PO Box 190, Fargo, ND 58107 e: hello@onthemindsofmoms.com p: 701.297.2138 SUBSCRIPTION print www.onthemindsofmoms.com/subscribe digital issuu.com/onthemindsofmoms

COVER PHOTO BY Renee Clasen – ten little chickens photography

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OTMOM MISSION STATEMENT On The Minds Of Moms Magazine is dedicated to providing parents of all ages a bimonthly resource they can trust. A fresh approach to traditional parenting publications, we are modern and inspiring while offering a community of local support and real-life advice for today’s family. On The Minds Of Moms contains views from across the parenting spectrum. These views do not necessarily reflect those of the publisher. All activities listed in these pages are at your own risk and require appropriate supervision. OTMOM is a publication available at all Fargo-Moorhead Hornbacher's, Family Fare, and Grand Forks–East Grand Forks Hornbacher's and Hugo's grocery store locations. Distribution also includes all partnering advertisers. Copyright 2018 All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission from the publisher. On The Minds Of Moms is a trademark registered at the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office.

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rowing up on a farm near Florian, MN, Jenessa Fillipi has memories of riding bikes, playing hide-and-go seek in the hay bales, swinging from the rope in the barn loft, and building extensive forts in the woods with her three

brothers. This current Fargo Public Schools’ elementary school counselor, married to Jake [15 years], and mom to Ellise [12], Adrian [10], Alaina [8], and Emmeline [3], is understandably busy, but Janessa also has a strong desire to make a difference in our community. “Jake and I have felt called to combine our gifts and talents to serve others,” Janessa says. “Community organizations confirmed the need for the coordination and storage space of household items for families in transition, and Down Home became an official non-profit in November 2017.” Down Home's official mission is to provide furnishings and décor for families transitioning from homelessness into permanent housing. Jenessa explains that Down Homes deeper purpose is to turn an empty space into a place to embrace, breathe, feel safe and secure, and empower families to be determined to succeed, be contributing members in our community, and break the cycle of homelessness. “We definitely don't claim to have it all figured out, yet we claim inner strength and conviction to be bold and push ourselves to leave a lasting legacy for our family, community, and other families who are called to join in Down Home's mission,” she says.

photos: exposures by j.linnea | josette hayes

jenessa fillipi age 38, moorhead.mn

mod mom

my parenting style can best be described as…

my mom was right about…

evolving. Clear expectations and stern reminders can be in one breath while rule benders and “well, let’s stay up later because it’s a short week” can come out in the next. I take a lot of deep breaths and do my very best to snuggle often, praise intentionally, and love up my husband and kiddos as I am consistently reminded that each day is a gift.

unconditional love and the need for the Lord in my life. Her example of being bold, trusting, believing, and determined have been my guides in some of the most trying times in my life.

my favorite time of the day is… the bedtime routine when Jake and I make our rounds with our children. Bedtime creates the most intimate and uninterrupted [minus our three-yearold jumping on beds] time together.

i always have extra… chapstick! My besties and family know it’s only Blistex Silk & Shine! Gotta have it!

i work really hard at… empowering the lives I am blessed to interact with on a daily basis. There is so much power in positive

if i could say one thing to myself 20 years ago it would be… just you wait and see what the Lord has in store because His vision is infinitely more expansive than yours. Trust, surrender, believe, and receive.

i unwind by… well, I do have Relax wine in my fridge on a regular basis. Don’t worry, on the days I even have time to pour a glass [umm…rarely], I usually only finish about half a glass before the bed calls my name. I also read from devotionals and do my best to set aside time to recharge. My current favorite journaling devotional, All in All, is one from my very best friend, Missy. She always gives the best gifts!

one word that sums up Down Home… www.onthemindsofmoms.com

destiny. My dear friend and author of the Frieda B. books [check out the series!] has reminded me that “we were made for these times.” Our lives have purpose. I can see how the Lord has been putting all the pieces together over the years to dream big and be fearless as we work to fill a gap and positively impact deserving families who are up against homelessness in our community. Future goals include expanding our services to individual referrals as well.

april • may twenty eighteen | on the minds of moms

mod mom thinking and the messages we tell each other. I challenge and encourage you to take a dry-erase marker and write positively powerful words on your bathroom mirror. My current words include fearless, determined, faith-filled, humbled, and optimistic.

i find strength through… music and scripture. Life 97.9 gets me to work, through the work day, and to after-school activities. Scripture and devotionals help keep me grounded, inspired, and convicted.

my husband would describe me as…

i can’t live without my…

compassionate, down-home, humble, grateful, positive, hard-working, and “weird” when I get caught up in the crazy, exaggerated stories that his sisters love to tell when we all get together. Needless to say, I know I was meant to be a part of the Fillipi family. Don’t worry LaDonna, Michelle, Janelle, and Jennifer, I won’t mention any names.

coffee…mostly the Northport Hornbacher’s Caribou Coffee. It’s become a guilty and expensive pleasure.

the habit i would most like to change… ”winging it” for supper. We typically start off the school year with intentional grocery runs and planned meals, and then the organized chaos of life throws us off course, and I do quick, “What should I make for supper?” stops, which usually turn into the same meal plans as the previous week.

the single greatest lesson i can teach my kids…

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

live your lives for others. Be a champion for the Lord, and surround yourself with others who help you become the best version of yourself.

on the minds of moms | april • may twenty eighteen

outside of my family, i am passionate about… Down Home because I know the Lord has big plans in store. I can hardly wait to look back five to ten years from now and see how He uses all of you as partners with Down Home to help empower families and individuals for success in our community. Down Home is already partnering with many community organizations, and we invite you to check us out and be a part of the powerful process. Join us for our Open House, Sunday, April 29, 1pm-4pm, 2102 12th St. N., Fargo. Go to our website www.down-home.org and become a part of empowering lives one home at a time.

Add a Splash of Color to Your Summer

did you know

#B2Wmom

the back to work mom program

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

ou welcome your bundle of joy and adjust to your new normal of diaper changes, late nights, and an unbelievable amount of additional laundry produced from such a small human! And just as you find your new-mom rhythm, it’s time to return to work and you need to adjust again. Are you a new mom returning to the workforce who wants to continue breastfeeding? Then you need to know about Fargo Cass Public Health’s breastfeeding initiative that promotes Infant-friendly businesses in our community and supports new mothers. It’s called the Back to Work Mom program [#B2Wmom]. The Back to Work Mom program is focused on supporting families and encouraging breastfeeding as much as possible even as mom returns to work. Breastfeeding, if possible, is best for as many feedings as possible and has many benefits for both baby and mom. Breastfed infants experience fewer illnesses and infections and studies have shown breastfeeding mothers have a reduced risk of certain types of cancers. In North Dakota, about 80% of new mothers start breastfeeding, but that percentage dwindles as the child’s first year progresses. Going back to work is one common reason women choose to stop breastfeeding as it seems impossible to balance work and breastfeeding. But it doesn’t have to be and the Back to Work Mom program is here to help. to work we go There are federal and state laws that protect breastfeeding employees. Federal law requires that businesses give employees reasonable break time to breastfeed or pump breastmilk and provide a private space, other 14

on the minds of moms | april • may twenty eighteen

than a bathroom, for the employee to do so until the baby is one year old. North Dakota State law also includes the Infant Friendly Workplace designation to recognize businesses that support breastfeeding employees and have implemented a breastfeeding policy. In North Dakota it is also lawful for a woman to breastfeed in any public or private location, as long as the woman and child are otherwise allowed to be in that location. The Back to Work Mom program is here to help businesses support breastfeeding mothers. #B2Wmom reaches out to businesses to provide education on the benefits of breastfeeding, including positive impacts to the bottom line. Again, studies show breastfed babies are sick less often and that means fewer days missed from work to care for a sick child. Studies have also shown reduced insurance and medical costs for companies if a child is breastfed. Supporting new mothers helps businesses retain loyal and trained employees. Being an Infant Friendly Workplace can be a powerful recruiting tool in today’s competitive job market. For moms, #B2Wmom offers free classes to working mothers and pregnant women who plan to breastfeed. The classes focus on topics like: Getting to Know Your Pump, Preparing to Go Back to Work, and Breastfeeding + Working + Bonding + Parenting. The #B2Wmom program also provides breastfeeding resources and support via weekly text messages. To register for the text program or classes, visit FMbreastfeeding.com and click on the “For

did you know

Infant Friendly Workplaces Infant Friendly Workplaces have been designated by the State of North Dakota as having a breastfeeding support policy in place that includes flexible break times to express breastmilk, a private space [other than a bathroom] for a mother to breastfeed or pump breastmilk, and access to a clean sink and temporary milk storage. Businesses that have a policy in place and accommodate the space and access needs can apply at no charge online to be recognized by the state [www.ndhealth.gov/breastfeeding/ workplace-support/nd-designated-businesses/] and by Fargo Cass Public Health [www. fargond.gov/city-government/departments/fargo-cass-public-health/nutrition-fitness/ breastfeeding/in-the-workplace/designated-businesses]. Once designated, businesses receive a packet of materials to use with their human resources department, as well as a window-cling designating the business as Infant Friendly.

Moms” menu or call Fargo Cass Public Health at 701.476.6677. gettin’ it done Creating appropriate space and implementing a breastfeeding policy can be a reality for businesses with the help of Fargo Cass Public Health through the Back to Work Mom program. With access to grant funds for businesses in Cass county, Fargo Cass Public Health can help businesses create private, comfortable spaces for employees to breastfeed or pump breastmilk. Fargo Cass Public Health also has qualified staff to help businesses write a simple breastfeeding policy. Once a business has a private space and policy, it can apply to the State of North Dakota to become an Infant Friendly Workplace. More information about becoming an Infant Friendly Workplace can be found at FMbreastfeeding. com under the “In the Workplace” menu. www.onthemindsofmoms.com

Breastfeeding is natural and an important part of the balance in our community. It’s important if you are a new mother or an employer, but also if you are a coworker, independent consultant, grandparent, human resources professional, healthcare professional, or any other part of this wonderful community. We all can work together to give new mothers the support they need to reach their breastfeeding goals through balancing their new baby and career. april • may twenty eighteen | on the minds of moms

food for thought

pizza cups S

erved hot or cold, these kid-friendly mini pizza cups made in a muffin tin are ideal for an after-school snack, birthday party, sleep-over or a unique appetizer option. So easy to make you won’t think twice about letting the little ones help you in the kitchen.

you need: 1 tube of pizza dough 1 pound extra lean ground beef* 1 ½ cups pizza sauce 1 tablespoon Italian seasoning shredded mozzarella cheese mini pepperonis, chopped onions, green pepper, black olives or toppings of choice. *ground turkey an alternative option how to: • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Brown ground beef in a skillet. Stir in pizza sauce. Add in Italian seasoning. Heat through. Roll out and flatten tube of pizza dough to desired thickness into a rectangle on a lightly floured surface. Cut into 4 x 4 inch squares. Press squares into lightly greased muffin cup tins, skipping every other muffin cup. Corners of dough will spill over. Repeat procedure with remaining pizza dough pieces. Sprinkle shredded mozzarella cheese over dough in bottom of each cup. Evenly spoon beef over cheese. Sprinkle with onion, green pepper, pepperoni and cheese. Bake at 350°F 15 - 20 minutes or until crusts are browned and cheese is melted. Remove from oven and sprinkle cheese over top of meat.

will learn CPR and first aid for children, as well as diaper-changing techniques. They will also learn when to call 911 and what will happen if they do need emergency assistance. The course is designed for young babysitters ages 11–15. Limited space. Register online.

april events

Art + Autism: Picturing Music www.plainsart.org

6-8

El Zagal Shrine Circus 701.241.9100 www.fargoshrinecircus.com The Cindy Migley’s circus spectacular starts today at the FARGODOME! [1800 N University Dr, Fargo.] High-wire and trapeze acts, clowns, elephants, cotton candy, and much more!

PATH

Ages 4-18 come explore music and art in the exhibition Mark Applebaum: Picturing Music with hands-on art and sound stations at the Plains Art Museum [704 1st Av N, Fargo], 10am-11:30am. After a snack break, participants create an artful instrument. These sessions are developed and instructed by Plains Art Museum Education Staff and Special Education professionals and are designed for families with children on the Autism Spectrum Disorder. Each group/family should register as a group. A social story will be sent prior to the workshop. Parents/caregivers may request an orientation prior to the event – contact Katherine Rieck at krieck@plainsart.org to schedule. Art & Autism is underwritten in part by Red River Area Learning Center, Moorhead, Minnesota, through support

Gold-N-Motion 701.280.0400 www.americangoldgymnastics.com Don’t miss this opportunity to see why our local talent is considered some of the top competitive & show gymnasts in the country! Scheel’s Arena [5225 31st Av S, Fargo], 3pm start time.

12 & 13

Little-Squirt Science 701.241.1495 www.fargolibrary.org

8, 15, 22 & 29

Healthy Moms for Healthy Babies www.sanfordhealth.org/ classes-and-events

Preschoolers ages 3-5 are invited to learn about their world & science at this event geared just for them. Science activities and stories will provide a little knowledge and a lot of fun for youngsters! 11am-noon at the Dr. James Carlson Library [2801 32nd Av S, Fargo] on the 12th or at the Main Library [102 3rd St N, Fargo] on the 13th. All materials provided. Space is limited; pre-registration is required. Register online or call for details.

The Healthy Moms for Healthy Babies series at Sanford Southpointe Clinic [2400 32nd Av S, Fargo] will focus on giving you the tools to develop a healthy lifestyle now and to commit to lifelong changes. Stress & Anxiety Management is offered 2:30pm-3:30pm on the 8th and Prenatal Yoga is offered 4pm-5pm on the 8th, 15th, 22nd & 29th.

Kids Healthy Cooking: Healthy Chocolate Cookies www.familywellnessfargo.org

Pint-Size Explorers: Blooms & Cocoons www.redriverzoo.org

These fudgy cookies are made with a special ingredient! Ages 5-7 come to Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway, Fargo], 10am-11am, to find out what it is! $12 Members/$20 Non-Members.

Spring has sprung and there are many animals that are helping the flowers bloom, and many plants that are helping animals

NORTH DAKOTA

PATH

FAMILY MEMBER

You can Make the Difference for a Child in Your Community. Be a Foster Parent. Call Today. A Child is Waiting. IDAHO A

stay safe. Pint-Size Explorers [ages 4-6] come and explore outdoor sections of the Red River Zoo [4255 23rd Av S, Fargo], 10am-11:30am or 3pm-4:30pm, to see if we can find interesting creatures out in nature. After our “bug hunt” we will look at animal life cycles and how some animals will drastically change— like caterpillars to butterflies or tadpoles to frogs!

NORTH DAKOTA A

PATH

from The Barry Foundation.

FAMILY MEMBER

FARMERS MARKET SALAD

CELEBRATE IDAHO SOYFOODS IN APRIL

PATH

FAMILY MEMBER

APRIL IS SOYFOODS MONTH. Freshen up your monthly menu with heart-healthy Soyfoods. MISO MARINADED CHICKEN THIGHS

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

changing one life

CHANGES EVERYTHING

Families Making the Difference 877-766-7284 • www.pathinc.org

ALMOND SESAME SALAD

For more free recipes and information on soyfoods, call (701) 566-9300 or email swolf@ndsoybean.org

NDSOYBEAN.ORG

on the minds of moms | april • may twenty eighteen

Find these recipes and more on THESOYFOODSCOUNCIL.COM

This free camp at Fargo Air Museum [1609 19th Av N, Fargo] is focused on Search & Rescue. This camp is tailored for two different age groups, 6–10 [10am-noon] and 11–18 [10:15am-3pm]. Camp is free for those who pre-register, walk-in admission for the camp is $15. Most camps are eligible for a Boy Scout merit badge. Registration will open mid-March.

Do you love science?! Family Wellness does too! Ages 3-9 come to the outdoor playground at Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway, Fargo], 4pm-6pm, for some cool backyard science experiments for kids. Register at the front desk. Participants will need to be checked in to childcare for this event.

Search & Rescue Youth Camp www.fargoairmuseum.org

Full S.T.E.A.M. Ahead! The Science of the Titanic at Main 701.555.4444 www.fargolibrary.org Near. Far. Wherever you are, you must have heard about the Titanic! On Titanic Remembrance Day, April 15, help us explore the inner workings of the doomed ship at the Main Library [102 3rd St N, Fargo], 2pm-4pm. Using the S.T.E.A.M. method, kiddos will conduct experiments with science, technology, engineering, art, and math in an attempt to understand the mysteries of the Titanic. They said it was the ship of dreams and it really was. Find out why at this hands-on event. Children ages 6 – 12 are invited to pre-register beginning March 15. Pre-registration can be completed online or by calling Children's Services. All materials will be provided.

Backyard Science Night www.familywellnessfargo.org

Awesome Art Afternoon www.fargoparks.com Love art but hate the mess? Bring your child to Robert D. Johnson Recreation Center [1104 2nd Av S, Fargo], 1pm-3pm for an interactive art program and have fun while building a variety of take-home projects. All creative materials will be provided. This program is free thanks to a grant from Xcel Energy. Adult supervision required.

Youth Fishing Clinic www.courtsplus.org FM Walleyes Unlimited, Inc., and Courts Plus are teaming up to host a youth fishing clinic. Kids will take part in an interactive seminar and practice their fishing skills. Youth of all ages are encouraged to attend the event, 1pm-2:45pm at Courts Plus [3491 S University Dr, Fargo], and do not

need to be a member of Courts Plus. All kids will receive a fishing gift courtesy of the NPAA Future Angler Foundation. If you have any questions, contact Dave Wasness: dave.wasness@fmwalleyes.com.

april events

Parent’s Night Out www.familywellnessfargo.org Need a night out? Drop your children, ages 2 weeks to 9 years, off at Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway, Fargo], 5:45pm-8:45pm, for a date night or just a night to yourself! Bring your own diapers and nut-free snacks. Preregistration is required and space is limited. Sign up by noon the Friday prior to the event. $12 per child Members / $18 per child Non-Members.

21 & 22

Solar System Explorers 218.477.2920 www. mnstatetickets. universitytickets.com Grab your space passport and adventure with us to the far-off reaches of our Solar System. Come checkout the DWARF Planets at the MSUM Planetarium [11th St S, between 7th & 9th Av S, Moorhead], 10am-11am! Pluto is one of the most well known of the dwarf planets in our Solar System, but there are several more! We can also check out the asteroid belt and some of the more interesting moons around other planets.

Garden Party 701.499.7788 www.fargoparks.com Kids and parents, get in the gardening mood at Rheault Farm [2902 25th St S, Fargo], 1:30pm-4:30pm, during this pre-summer event. Learn about bugs, make crafts, face painting, plant walk, and animals from Chahinkapa Zoo!

PARK CHRISTIAN SCHOOL

PREVIEW DAY for inquiring students in 1st-11th grade

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

Mondays; April 9, May 7

PARK CHRISTIAN SCHOOL

april • may twenty eighteen | on the minds of moms

may events

5 & 19

Kite Day www.fargoparks.com Enjoy a favorite pastime for both kids and adults! Bring your kite to Lindenwood Park [1905 Roger Maris Dr, Fargo], 12:30pm-3pm, and show off your flying skills. Free hotdogs and Pepsi products will be available while supplies last. The event is free of charge and everyone is welcome to attend.

B4 Baby www.sanfordhealth.org/ classes-and-events The decision to start a family can be exciting and yet stressful. From the health considerations to the financial obligations, couples may feel overwhelmed with the unknown territory. Sanford Women’s is launching a new class for couples called B4 Baby to help answer questions, prepare couples, and offer advice. The sessions cover fertility and preparing your body,

insurance and financial resources/planning, what to expect at OB visits, classes and amenities available, what to expect at the hospital, planning for a newborn’s care, and more. You will hear from a physician and birth designer and other Sanford specialty areas and have the opportunity to tour the family birth center.

Pottery on the Wheel: Only Bowls www.plainsart.org Ages 9-18 come to the Plains Art Museum [704 1st Av N, Fargo], 4pm-6pm, and make all kinds of bowls on the potter’s wheel: cereal bowls, soup bowls, tea bowls, serving bowls, and even dog bowls! Finish your bowls by decorating with colorful glazes. $19 members, $24 non-members. Register online.

6, 13, 20 & 27

Healthy Moms for Healthy Babies www.sanfordhealth.org/ classes-and-events The Healthy Moms for Healthy Babies series at Sanford Southpointe Clinic [2400 32nd Av S, Fargo] will focus on giving you the tools to develop a healthy lifestyle now and to commit to lifelong changes. Prenatal Nutrition is offered 4pm-5pm on the 6th and Prenatal Yoga is offered 4pm-5pm on the 6th, 13th, 20th & 27th.

B.L.A.S.T. Babysitting Camp 701.364.1750 www.sanfordhealthemseducation.org Babysitting Lessons and Safety Training is the initial course for teens and pre-teens on the responsibilities of caring for children. Held at the F-M Ambulance Service [2215 18th St S, Fargo], 9am-3pm, participants will learn CPR and first aid for children, as well as diaper-changing techniques. They will also learn when to call 911 and what will happen if they do need emergency

Your Pet’s

BEST

THE BEST CARE for her

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

Best Friend

Visit us at our new state-of-the-art facility!

701 .282.2898

816 M e y e r D r i v e , W e s t F a r g o w w w. w e s t f a r g o a n i m a l h o s p i t a l . c o m Request an appointment online!

on the minds of moms | april • may twenty eighteen

assistance. The course is designed for young babysitters ages 11–15. Limited space. Register online.

where the dinosaur eggs are hiding. Each child gets a chance to find, hatch, and keep their very own dinosaur!

Head to Rabanus Park [4315 18th Av SW, Fargo], noon-2pm, for National Kids to Parks Day for some fun and celebrate nature! See the new World Commons Garden by The Fargo Project, visit with Don the Bug Guy from NDSU, learn about trees, nature, and birds from the City of Fargo Forestry and Audubon Society, make nature arts and crafts, and enjoy a lite snack while supplies last.

Inventing the Airplane Youth Camp www.fargoairmuseum.org This free camp at Fargo Air Museum [1609 19th Av N, Fargo] is focused on inventing the airplane. This camp is tailored for two different age groups, 6–10 [10am-noon] and 11–18 [10:15am-3pm]. Camp is free for those who pre-register, walk-in admission for the camp is $15. Most camps are eligible for a Boy Scout merit badge. Registration will open mid-March.

Adult Healthy Cooking: Cooking Seasonally for Spring Asparagus, artichokes, and radishes – oh my! Let’s make a few recipes at Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway, Fargo], 6pm-7:30pm, that showcase springtime. We will prepare chicken with pan sauce and some of the delicious springtime veggies. $12 members, $20 nonmembers. For ages 15+.

Nature Adventure www.fargoparks.com

may events

Dino Egg Hunt www.familywellnessfargo.org Do you have a little explorer [ages 2-9]? This event at Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway, Fargo] is perfect for sensory play and scientific discovery! Come to Childcare and bring your imagination as you go on a walk outside to discover

All event listings displayed within OTMOM are carefully selected to provide diverse options for families. More events found online at www.onthemindsofmoms.com/event-calendar. It is always a good idea to call ahead to confirm the information provided. Although it is not possible to list every event happening in the FM area, we encourage organizations to submit events for consideration to events@onthemindsofmoms.com

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

april • may twenty eighteen | on the minds of moms

exposures by j.linnea

shutterbug

exposures by j.linnea

ten little chickens photography

exposures by j.linnea

gettin’ through it

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

midwife myths 24

on the minds of moms | april • may twenty eighteen

story by | connie wirta

omen have been helping other women birth babies for eons. Over time, some women became known as midwives and their tradition of caring for women evolved into a medical profession. If your image of midwife is an older woman who travels the countryside to deliver babies at home, it’s time to step into the 21st century and dispel some myths about midwifery.

Terry Burrell and Christa Howell work as certified nurse midwives at Essentia Health-Fargo and Essentia’s 32nd Avenue Clinic in Fargo. Terry, who earned a doctorate degree in nursing and human biology, has worked in the profession for 24 years. Christa, who earned a master’s degree in nursing, has been a midwife for 10 years.

Create Space

Midwives don’t have formal training. Christa: Certified nurse midwives have specialized medical training and must hold state medical licenses. Essentia Health’s certified nurse midwives in Fargo have earned four-year college degrees, many in nursing, and then master’s degrees in nurse midwifery.

worth the drive!

It’s good for your employees. It’s good for your bottom-line. It’s good for our community.

FMbreastfeeding.com

Midwives only allow a “natural” or holistic birth. Terry: We tell our patients that this is your pregnancy, your labor, and your delivery. We’re here to meet your needs and support what you choose. The Latin word for

Learn more today!

701-476-6677

thinking about a

cosmetic procedure?

we are

worth the drive! Friendly All Female Staff Accredited In-Office Operating Room

Learn more and see real before and afters at

w w w. d a r c y h o n e y c u t t . c o m 701. 5 3 0 . 8 4 5 0 O R 1. 8 8 8 . 4 3 0 . 3 2 2 3

3913 LOCKPORT ST, BISMARCK

D’A rcy A. Honeycutt, M.D., F.A.C.S. Board Certified Female Plastic Surgeon

april • may twenty eighteen | on the minds of moms

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

Midwives only deliver babies. Terry: Delivering babies and doing prenatal care is just one-third of our practice. Another third is doing primary care for women under age 50. It’s just like the care that a woman or teen would get from a family-medicine doctor—annual wellness physicals and preventative care. The final third is women’s health or gynecology. That’s things like pelvic pain, birth control, and sexually transmitted infections.

Become Infant Friendly

Being Infant Friendly is part of BALANCE in the workplace.

Here’s their take on common myths. Midwives are older women who deliver babies at home. Terry: In most developed countries, midwives deliver most of the babies and deliver them in hospitals or birthing centers. Midwives also are the most common kind of obstetric care in those countries. In our practice, our certified nurse midwives deliver babies only at Essentia Health-Fargo. We don’t do home births, but some nurse midwives in the U.S. do.

Draft Policy

gettin’ through it

find a nurse midwife

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Essentia Health has 10 certified nurse midwives who serve women in Fargo, West Fargo, and Wahpeton in North Dakota as well as Detroit Lakes, Menahga, and Park Rapids in Minnesota. To see their profiles and short videos, go to EssentiaHealth.org and click on “Find a Medical Professional.” Then choose “Obstetrics” and “Midwifery.” You can also call 701.364.8900.

on the minds of moms | april • may twenty eighteen

gettin’ through it our specialty, obstetrics, means to “be with the woman’ and we are here for her and her family.”

standards, which include education requirements, and hold licenses to practice from their states.

Christa: Our goal is a healthy mom and a healthy baby.

Choosing a midwife is less safe than a doctor. Terry: Certified nurse midwives are held to the same safety standards as physicians. Studies, such as one by the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation, have found there is no difference in the safety of care provided by certified nurse midwives and physicians. At Essentia Health we assess each woman for potential risk factors. If a woman has a high-risk pregnancy, she is referred to an obstetrician who has expertise in caring for her condition.

A laboring mother can’t have any pain medicine with a midwife. Terry: Any mother in active labor can receive any pain medication or pain relief with our certified nurse midwives, from nothing at all to an epidural and everything in between. We recently added nitrous oxide or “laughing gas” as a treatment option. A doula is the same as a midwife. Christa: A doula is a person who supports a laboring mother but does not deliver a baby. Midwives are trained to do both. At Essentia Health-Fargo, every mother in active labor also has one-on-one care from a registered nurse. Terry: Doulas do not earn college degrees, nor is there a national standard or professional board for their work. Certified nurse midwives must meet national-certification

Insurance companies don’t cover care from a midwife. Christa: Insurance companies that cover prenatal care, labor, and delivery treat certified nurse midwives like obstetricians or family medicine physicians who do obstetrics. It is the same with state and federal medical plans.

we w& e www.onthemindsofmoms.com

“ My smile has brought out the model inside of me.”

Visit www.we-ortho.com or call (701) 293-5300 to take the next step towards a better smile. WE can do it.

april • may twenty eighteen | on the minds of moms

camps

school’s out…what to do summer camps & activities 2018 FAITH Camp Good News Tired of kids at home during the summer with nothing to do? Camp Good News, an affordable Christian day camp for ages 6-12 in the Fargo-Moorhead area, has got plenty for your kids to do. Whether it is crafts, sports, robotics, gymnastics, or brand-new detectives camp and more, Camp Good News would love to keep your children busy, all while teaching them Biblical principles and character traits. Each full day from 9am-4pm or half day 9am-1pm is jam-packed with fun, as well as a great opportunity to learn about the weekly activity. Camp Good News, sponsored by Child Evangelism Fellowship of Fargo-Moorhead, is hosted at Oak Grove Elementary - South Campus. To check out our full schedule, get more info about camp, and to register, visit www.ceffm.org/camp or call 701.200.4865.

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FaHoCha Bible Camp This independent camp nestled beside South Lake Washington, 25 miles east of New Rockford, ND, offers a unique camping experience combining a fun-filled family-like atmosphere with life-skill training, Bible study, and lots of activities including tubing and “The Blob.” All this from an encouraging, caring, and loving staff! Some of the other great features include home-cooked food, individual attention, affordability, and a focus on faith. For more information, please call 701.674.3211 or 701.351.4835. You can also visit www.fahocha. org or www.facebook.com/Fahocha-Bible-Camp-115197148504702/. Inspiration Point Christian Camp + Retreat Center Located on Spitzer Lake, 90 minutes southeast of Fargo/Moorhead, Inspiration Point is a highly respected Christian camp and retreat center set in the lakes country of Minnesota. From our chef-prepared food service to our clean facilities, from the breathtaking setting on Spitzer Lake, to the laughter that fills this place, it is all designed to provide time and space for people of all ages to experience and grow in the good gifts of God. Register online at www.ipoint.org or call 218.998.4572 for more information. Registrations paid in full by April 2 receive $30 early registration discount. Registrations paid in full by May 1 receive a $20 early registration discount. Camp Cherith Established in 1947 and residing on 280 stunning acres of lakes, woodlands, and rolling hills [32884 Camp Cherith Road, Frazee, MN], campers spend time outdoors,

on the minds of moms | april • may twenty eighteen

surrounded by the splendor of God’s creation. Camp Cherith is an interdenominational Christian camp with a two-fold aim: to introduce campers to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ and to help them apply Christian principles to daily living. Just as Jesus looked at individuals and reached out to them, Cherith staff seek to reach out to each camper and to provide them with an unforgettable Christ-centered experience. Campers participate in many activities from horseback riding to archery, sailing to waterskiing, and fishing to swimming in a place where love and concern are not just talked about but lived. Camps held June 18-August 4; $365/week. For more info contact Gerri [registrar@ camp-cherith.com or 612.991.3124] or visit www. camp-cherith. com and register online. Summer Adventure Camp St. John Paul II Catholic Schools Summer Adventure Camp 2018 is a summer program of fun-filled activities, field trips, and learning in a faith-centered environment. This 11-week [May 29-August 10] flexible program offers the opportunity of choosing the weeks that fit your family’s schedule and keep your elementary child busy and supervised during summer vacation. Each week’s theme will engage a child’s curiosity to learn more about the world around them, while participating in a variety of activities. This program is sponsored by the St. John Paul II Catholic Schools and held at Holy Spirit, Nativity, and Trinity campuses. More information available at JP2schools.org.

DANCE Fairydell Day Camp This day camp at Red River Dance [2921 Fiechtner Dr S, Fargo] is for children who love fairytales and dancing! Each day dancers will read a story, enjoy a snack, make an art project, participate in creative movement, and learn a dance that fits to the theme of the day. Family and friends are invited to watch a mini Fairydell Performance held the last day of camp. Sessions run: June 12-14, 9am-12pm [ages 3-5] & 12:30pm-3:30pm [ages 5-7]; July 10-12, 9am-12pm [ages 3-5] & 12:30pm-3:30pm [ages 5-7]; August 14-16, 9am-12pm [ages 3-5] & 12:30pm-3:30pm [ages 5-7]. Cost is $100 per dancer. For more information contact Haylee Thompson [haylee@redriverdance. com or 701.280.0004] or visit www.redriverdance.com and register online.

camps Momentum Dance Convention Founded in 2013, this event was created to bring top dance choreographers and instructors to the Fargo-Moorhead area from around the region. The day is jam packed with exciting dance classes for mini/junior, teen, and senior level dancers. Classes range from Ballet, Tap, Musical Theatre, Jazz, Contemporary, and more! Held July 21, 9am-6pm, at the beautiful Trollwood Performing Arts School, the convention is sponsored by Gate City Bank, Trollwood Performing Arts School, and Red River Dance & Performing Company. Register online at www.momentumdanceconvention.com.

include water games, theme nights, sports, a campfire, talent show, games, skits, educational camp project, co-op store, and banquet. Camps are held at Wesley Acres [near Valley City] and Heart Butte [near Elgin] in June, July, and August. Cost is $100 for four-day, three-night camps for grades 3-6; $150 for five-day, four-night camps for grades 7-12. [These are Early Bird rates and camps fill up fast, so REGISTER NOW at ndfu. org!] Transportation provided. Scholarships often available. For more info, go to ndfu.org/youth/youth-camps, look up North Dakota Farmers Union Youth Program on Facebook, or call 800.366.8331.

Dance Intensives Our dance intensives are designed to challenge dancers in an array of genres of dance. Styles include Ballet, Jazz, Tap, Lyrical, Hip Hop, & more! We offer dance intensives for beginner, intermediate, and advanced level dancers at Red River Dance [2921 Fiechtner Dr S, Fargo], August 7-9, 9am-2:30pm. Cost is $175 per dancer. For more information contact Haylee Thompson [haylee@redriverdance.com or 701.280.0004] or visit www.redriverdance.com and register online.

Camp Foley Grow Grit. Investigate Independence. Kids converge on Camp Foley each summer from all over the world to put aside their phones and computers and work on face-to-face social skills, all the while trying new activities and taking risks in a safe, kid-focused environment. With over 80 years of combined experience the Camp Foley directors run a seasoned program that has been in operation for over 90 years. Beautiful Whitefish Lake in North Central Minnesota offers the perfect backdrop for kids to reconnect with nature and learn from each other. Sessions run June 19 – August 14 [1, 2, 3, 4-week options available]. $1,460 1-wk session, $2,670 2-week session, $4,015 3-wk session, $4,998 4-wk session. An American Camp Association accredited camp. For more info, contact Billy Weiss, crm@campfoley.com or 218.543.6161, and online at www.campfoley.com.

SPORT American Gold Gymnastics Offering classes for kids ages 18 months to 18 years. Classes develop physical awareness, work on coordination, balance, listening skills, fine and gross motor skills, and incorporate lots of fun! For more info visit www. americangoldgymnastics.com or call 701.280.0400. MSUM Dragons Swim & Dive Camp Located on the beautiful MSUM Campus in Moorhead, MN, and in the state-of-the-art Hulbert Aquatic Center in West Fargo, these camps are open to competitive swimmers and divers ages 8 - High School Seniors. Swim Camp Week One: June 10-15; Swim Camp Week Two: June 17-22; Dive Camp Week One: July 29-August 3; Dive Camp Week Two: August 5-10. For more info contact 218.477.2313 or email msumswim@mnstate.edu, you can also visit www. msumdragons.com/swim.

SELF Farmers Union Camp It’s like no other camp on earth, where city kids and farm kids have a blast just being themselves! Activities

1st visit

recommended

year

of age!

YMCA Busy Beaver Camp Half-Day Camp for preschoolers ages 3-5 which includes field trips, picnics, games, arts and crafts, swimming, and more! Offered at Fercho YMCA [400 1st Av S, Fargo] with weekly sessions running June 5–August 10. $115 for YMCA Cass Clay members, $135 for non-members. Registration stays open until the week of camp [unless it fills]. For more information, contact Sandy Franchuk [701.364.4123 or franchuk@ ymcacassclay.org] or visit www.ymcacassclay.org/busybeaver. No Bummer Summer TNT Kids Fitness & Gymnastics [2800 Main Ave, Fargo] is offering weekly camps June 4 – August 24, featuring a different theme each week, fitness/gymnastic stations, sports & games, arts & crafts, pool, park, & field trips, educational lessons, healthy lunch & snacks, & more! For more information visit www.tntkidsfitness.org or email jocelyn@ tntkidsfitness.org.

Comprehensive dental care for infants, children, and adolescents.

Dr. Chad Hoge, Diplomate,

American Board of Pediatric Dentistry

FARGO OFFICE

701-478-5439 4423 45th St S

Dr. Mikala Hoge,

GRAND FORKS OFFICE

American Board of Pediatric Dentistry

3990 S Columbia Rd

Diplomate,

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Dakota Pediatric Dentistry, P.C. w w w. d a k o t a p e d i a t r i c d e n t i s t r y . c o m

701-746-1400

april • may twenty eighteen | on the minds of moms

Fargo North alum, son of Tom and Sharon and brother to Angie and Katie, Matt Fowler grew up around hockey. After completing his high-school career for the Spartans, Matt went on to play junior hockey for the Sioux

City Musketeers and North Iowa Huskies before returning to Fargo to attend college and play on the NDSU club team. While his playing days are over, Matt has continued a family hockey tradition that started with his grandfather. Every year he collects used hockey equipment and provides it to those in need free of charge. Matt, currently a gas technician specialist at Xcel Energy, has been married to Jessica for 16 years and is proud dad to Ava [12] and Brody [10]. He enjoys hunting, fishing, and weekends at the lake with family and friends. Matt’s heart for giving back doesn’t stop with the collection and distribution of hockey equipment; he also has worked with Pheasants Forever and the Outdoor Adventure Foundation, as well as being involved with the Special Olympics program for 20 years. “I cannot put into words what a rewarding experience it has been,” Matt has said of this time with Special Olympics.

photos: ten little chickens photography | renee clasen

matt fowler age 45, fargo.nd

best mistake i’ve made…

all-time favorite movie/show…

not best mistake, but I regret not serving my country in the armed forces.

Outlaw Josey Wales.

i always feel compelled to act when…

my exterior doesn’t match my interior.

rad dad

something unique about me…

I see wrong doing.

i can’t live without my…

i’m a big believer in…

family.

treating others the way you want to be treated.

my back-up career would be…

three things on my bucket list…

test driving motorcycles.

1. Skydive 2. Tour the country on my motorcycle 3. Big-game hunt

i could spend hours… cruising on my pontoon, enjoying the sunset.

a talent i wish i had… to play guitar.

my wife inspires me when… she takes care of our family.

Helping to

protect

what matters

most

Home • Auto • Business • Farm • Health • Life

WEEkly MAy 29 - AUgUST 10

Fun filled activities, field trips, & learning in a faith centered environment Summer Adventure for grades K-5th St. John Paul II Catholic Schools * Holy Spirit * Nativity * Trinity Campuses For registration information call 701.893.3271 or visit us online at jp2schools.org

april • may twenty eighteen | on the minds of moms

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

701-277-1710

www.tciteam.com

SUMMER ADVENTURE CAMP

rad dad if i could invent any ‘family’ friendly product it would be…

when it comes to our kids, my wife and i sometimes disagree on…

something to make my wife get ready on time.

discipline.

growing up i always knew…

how some people think they’re better than others.

that nothing was going to be handed to me; you have to work for what you have.

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

i’ve never understood…

on the minds of moms | april • may twenty eighteen

we are

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in moms purses B U T M O S T I M P O R TA N T LY

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with the most read magazine for parents in the red river valley EMAIL US FOR INFORMATION AT

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april • may twenty eighteen | on the minds of moms

just a thought

choose joy story by | kathleen wrigley

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

y 2018 New Year’s resolution is to not allow the behavior of others steal my joy and harden my heart. Sounds easy enough, right? Not so, when we live in a 24-hour news cycle and when social media is our major source of communication. Everyone has an opinion and rarely do people filter their emotions. We are barraged with negativity. It’d be less painful to lie in the middle of an open field, naked, in a hail storm. The news and technology are joy suckers and these industries capitalize on the bad choices people make, thrusting them in our faces again and again and again, overdosing us with pessimism and stealing our joy. Having a goal without a plan is not a path to success. I began my 2018 resolution with a strategy to block out negativity and joy-suckers. That means I do not read the newspapers or watch the news. Side note: I recently declined a nice offer of having my own column 34

on the minds of moms | april • may twenty eighteen

in a major newspaper—for a host of reasons—but not the least of which was, how can I possibly write for a publication that I, myself, do not read or support? Back to my resolution for joy: I continue to jump-start my days with prayer and devotions while exercising and working out. This fortifies my heart, body, and soul. And I pour myself into my graduate school classes—as I write this column, I am heading into my final week of classes, earning my second master’s degree by the time this issue goes to print. Finally, I plunge into my job and the students I serve and help and advocate for every day. I get to be an elementary school counselor. Talk about JOY. I dare anyone to walk the halls of an elementary school and not feel a child’s unfiltered joy. Goals without a plan are nearly impossible to achieve. Heck, goals with a plan are tough enough. There are barriers and temptations and distractions. Sometimes these obstacles look like chocolate or wine. And other times they come

just a thought in the form of people behaving poorly, making hurtful choices, and threatening to rob us of our joy. For instance, I am quite sure you’ve watched the videos of the Philadelphia Eagles fans harassing the Minnesota Vikings fans as they walked into the stadium for the championship game in Philadelphia. The videos went viral. People were, rightfully, outraged by the inebriated thugs who bullied the Vikings fans. As a native Philadelphian, a former season-ticket holder, and a diehard Eagles fan, I was mortified by the handfuls of badly behaved fans. Unaware of what some fans were doing outside the stadium, the Philadelphia Eagles played a fantastic game of football. They outplayed the Minnesota Vikings and secured the NFC Championship title. Watching this team rally after losing their North Dakota-bred star quarterback to an injury was remarkable. The country, from Cowboys to Packers fans, witnessed the grit and determination and fellowship the team possessed this year. And while I basked in the glory of my favorite team’s big win, my social-media page was flooded with the viral videos of the thugs who behaved poorly. I was called a traitor by one Facebook friend, among other characterizations. Another Facebook friend [perhaps more than one] defriended me, as if I condoned or was part of the fan-harassment videos. I was stunned and, frankly, saddened to see the power and the force behind the negativity. For almost an entire day, I boiled in the gloom of others’ poor conduct.

Then my 17-year old daughter, Quinn, called me out. She asked me what happened to the promise I made to myself of not letting the behavior of others steal my joy? The rest is history. The Philadelphia Eagles are the 2018 Super Bowl Champions. They were not distracted by the poor behavior of others. They did not allow the bad choices of some deflect their game. They played their hearts out and they won. We can easily be sidetracked and hoodwinked by people who behave badly and make poor choices. It is all too easy to get sucked into the vortex of misery. It threatens our joy. And it takes discipline and practice [and, I would venture to say, faith] to filter the bad in order to secure our joy. Our elementary school adheres to the Conscious Discipline approach in working with children. One of the fundamental elements of this philosophy is “what you focus on, you see more of,” and we learn, then teach children, to pivot in our reactions to bad behavior. As an adult school counselor, with two master’s degrees, three children, and 47 years of experience on this earth, it is a struggle not to allow the awful decisions of other’s steal my joy. But I am a Philly girl. I have raw grit, absolute determination, and my unwavering faith to help guide me. Not to mention, I am surrounded by elementary school children who ooze joyfulness.

Choose JOY.

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

Have You Registered for Kindergarten Yet? Register online at: www.fargo.k12.nd.us/registration Once online registration has been completed, families MUST bring their child’s certified birth certificate, current immunization record, and proof of residence(utility bill) to the school their child will attend. Please call ahead of your visit to the school. Child must be age 5 by July 31, 2018. Check which school your child will attend at www.fargo.k12.nd.us/boundarymaps or call 701.446.1043 april • may twenty eighteen | on the minds of moms

photos: ten little chickens photography | renee clasen

andi olsonawski

lessons from her greatest race story by | sheri kleinsasser stockmoe

t seemed unimaginable. It couldn’t be real…but it was…so many what ifs, so many more goals to achieve, but the reality was grim. It was stage 4. “I had to make a decision,” says the daughter, sister, wife, mother of four, and friend to many. “Am I going to cry and fuss about this or am I going to take this head-on and accept the challenge?” Andi Olsonawski accepted the challenge.

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

lessons from her greatest race It was September 11, 2015. Andi, husband Mark, and One of those friends was Natalie Mickelson. “We met their four kids [Noel [now 13], Aaron [11], Ryan [10] and in pre-school in Stephen, Minnesota,” Natalie says. Kate [6]] were at the Shanley High School Homecoming “We made an instant bond and have been the best of football game. Looking back, she hadn’t been feeling friends for over 35 years.” well for a while, but, being a busy mom, it was easy to “I was in utter shock,” Natalie remembers of the phone brush off some of the symptoms as allergy related. This call when her friend shared her cancer diagnosis. “We night the headache was back, her vision was blurred, shed many tears together and talked about what was she seemed confused, and Mark was having trouble next. She said something to me that day that changed understanding her. The kids were entrusted with friends me forever. She said, "Natalie, I have lived a full and at the game and Mark and Andi headed to the ER. happy life. I have no regrets." Very few people could Andi was 36, healthy, active, a former track star at NDSU. say this at the age of 36. The truth is even before the The doctor recommended a scan to eliminate all possibilities. cancer diagnosis Andi lived a life of purpose.” “When she came back, she started crying,” Andi says of “I just knew that God put me in that position to be an the doctor’s reaction to her scan. “I knew it wasn’t good.” example,” Andi shares. “An example of overcoming, of Andi had a tumor in the center of her brain. Stage having a good attitude throughout this whole process, 4 Glioblastoma. “With a diagnosis of Stage 4 brain not giving up, still being a bright light of good, instead cancer, you are given three to six months at the max,” of negative.” Andi says of her initial prognosis if no treatment was Andi has always had an appreciation for the importance pursued. With surgery, radiation, and chemotherapy of the right attitude. In college her wall wore a quote the average life expectancy is stretched to 15 months. to remind her daily: Life is 10% what happens to me That was over two years ago. “I’m a walking miracle,” and 90% how I react to it. she says with a soft smile. “I want to teach other people that, even though you're Andi has gone through brain surgery that removed given a really bad diagnosis, a future that is questionable, 95% of her tumor and has completed 30 radiation and it's our responsibility to start every day and make it chemotherapy treatments. She’s said a heart-wrenching positive,” Andi says. “It only affects other people in a goodbye to her children without knowing if there negative way if we don't. I don't want to feel that or would be a returning hello. She’s walked in faith with make others feel that way. I don't want to be negative.” mountains of uncertainty in front of her. She’s done all conquer what’s in front of you of this with grace, conviction, and a spirit of gratitude. “I think it brings me back to my track and field days,” “There's a reason this happened to me. God has a plan for it. Andi says of how she approached her cancer diagnosis. I believe that, I really do,” she says. “And I'm thankful that Andi was an All-American at NDSU. She was a combinaHe's given me this time to share with others. Tomorrow tion of speed, power, and pure competitive drive on the isn't a guarantee. We think it is. We think that we're track. Her specialty was the heptathlon, which includes going to have years and years with our husbands, years seven events [100-meter hurdles, high jump, shot put, and years with our kids, but every day is a blessing. And 200-meter dash, long jump, javelin, and 800-meter run]. if we can believe that, and trust that, we'll all die happy.” “Right when I was diagnosed, I look at it like the start of So what do you learn when you are truly faced with the heptathlon. This is our first event. This is our second the end? Andi wants you to know… event. Putting it in those terms instead of looking at everything all at once kept it from feeling so daunting. 90/10 mindset We just had to conquer the event in front of us.” “We waited a month before I had surgery so I could visit with dear friends and talk to all my family,” Andi recalls. “Her fighting competitive spirit has been one characteristic “They told us that because of the tumor’s location in my that has always attracted me to her,” Mark says of his brain, after surgery I may not wake up the same. I said high-school sweetheart. “Even before marriage and her my goodbyes pretty much to everybody that I really battle with cancer she’s had a fighting spirit. However, wanted to know I love them.” she doesn’t try to compete with others. She strives to be 38

on the minds of moms | april • may twenty eighteen

lessons from her greatest race better herself. It’s amazing to watch her deal with life.” Andi agrees. “This isn’t something that I've planned for in my life, but it is what I've been dealt. Having that And like she has her whole life, Andi approaches each trust in God is so important, but when you're put to “event” strongly rooted in her faith. “Both Mark and I, that test, that's your time to shine or fail.” and our whole family, have great faith in God and trust in His plan,” Andi says. “We have a big poster on our be humble wall in our house that says, "Do your best and let God Humble is definitely a word many would have used do the rest," and it applies to every area of our life. I'm to describe Andi before her diagnosis. There wasn’t a

trace of arrogance in her being, but after surgery Andi was faced with experiences that truly humbled her.

“Every day is unknown and your plans aren’t going to work out the way you perfectly have them laid out in your mind,” Mark shares when looking back on all the family has gone through the last two years. “You will either have faith in the journey or develop anger and bitterness for your circumstances. But if you count it all joy, you’ll be amazed at how He uses a cancer journey or other situation to help focus us on what He’s called us to do with our life here on earth. I’m always listening for what path God wants me to take daily.”

“After surgery, I completely had to start over,” Andi explains of the many daily living activities and everyday tasks and she had to relearn. “I was grateful to just be here, but there were times of frustration too. I wanted to be myself and I knew I was not at where I wanted to be. I had to continue to trust and not be overwhelmed with frustration, because everything happens for a reason. I'm so thankful that I have that mindset, but it was humbling.”

april • may twenty eighteen | on the minds of moms

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

going to do my best, but, whatever happens, it's God's plan and we're going to be okay with that.”

lessons from her greatest race Andi remembers a time when she was going to curl Kate's hair, but she had no clue how to curl her daughter’s hair—or her own, for that matter. And when Ryan brought home homework, Andi was learning right along with him. “We were learning it at the same time. It is humbling when you're trying to help your child with homework and you honestly have to say, ‘I can't help you.’"

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

In true Andi fashion she found the positive as a lesson God has given her. “He gave me those experiences so I

could relate to my kids,” she says. “God has made me feel what my kids feel at times.” And what has Mark watched his kids learn from their mom through this? “Whoa! A lot!” he gushes. “The Olsonawski kids have had a front-row seat to watch a woman exemplify Faith, Fight, Perseverance, Humility, Tenacity, Love, Patience, Trust, and to Live the day with love in your heart,” Mark explains. “It’s simply Andi’s 40

on the minds of moms | april • may twenty eighteen

example of how she lives life that teaches our kids, myself, and others the most.” a smooth ride Andi completed her teaching degree in college and, while she doesn’t see herself in a classroom full-time, she does hope to use her life experiences to teach children and adults alike. “I recently spoke to a local American Heritage Girls group,” she says. “I taught them about the SPIES of life. It's always been in my mind since I learned

it in college. It’s all about having balance in your life.” “Think of a wheel,” Andi explains. “The five SPIES are an acronym for Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Social and they make up your wheel of life. If you spend all your time in one area, say social, you spend all your time with friends, you can lose balance of going to church. The spiritual part of your wheel gets flat. It can be a bumpy ride if you have a flat tire.”

lessons from her greatest race Natalie admires her friend’s zest for life and her cheerful disposition and positive outlook, which has always been obvious and remains at the forefront even now when faced with such a challenge. “Andi is inspiring on so many levels: with her children, her friends, and her various teammates throughout the years,” Natalie says. “She is driven, a goal setter, and always striving to do her very best. Do your best and let God do the rest, this is how she carries out each and every day!” more to achieve Andi’s cancer is currently stable. “I feel great,” she says with a smile. She has an MRI every three months and uses an Optune device, which is a wearable, portable, FDA-approved device indicated to treat the type of brain cancer Andi has. She wears four adhesive patches on her scalp and carries a backpack that when turned on creates low-intensity, wave-like electric fields that slow or stop cancer cells like Andi’s from dividing and may destroy them. “What has cancer taught me?” Andi asks. “I can overcome anything. Especially when you control your mindset you can overcome anything. Believe in miracles. My whole life I've really been setting goals, and I think through this stage in my life I continue to set goals. I'm not giving up on those goals. Having a great attitude, an attitude of gratitude, is something that I always have had, yet when you get to this situation in your life, it's like am I really going to believe that?” Mark can only look at his wife with admiration, but not surprise. “She never felt sorry for herself through this entire journey. That’s who Andi is,” he says. “Eyes always on others. She fights for us and to create memories and live life as a family.” “She has faced cancer head-on and treated it as her greatest race,” Natalie says. “Spending time with Andi you can't help but walk away with a flood of emotions. She has helped me see so clearly what matters in life. Faith, family, and friends are important.” www.onthemindsofmoms.com

“I'm trying to teach my kids that you have to be happy wherever you're at,” Andi says. “I know I've lived a blessed life, so when I got that diagnosis that was so terminal and crazy, I just had to sit back and give God thanks because I really have had an amazing life. I cannot be negative about my life. I have a great family. I have a great husband. My kids are great. It's just not enough time and I have more to give. I have more goals to achieve… I will always be an overcomer. “ april • may twenty eighteen | on the minds of moms

ready, set, grow

story by | sheri kleinsasser stockmoe

emember before the kiddos and you’d see that tot throwing a tantrum and you thought to yourself how your kids will never act like that? They’ll know who’s boss. Flash forward… now you have a tot throwing a fit in the checkout lane because you won’t buy that bright pink ball; or now she is 15 and for the first time hasn’t told you the ‘whole’ truth. When it comes to discipline it isn’t all about timeouts, grounding, and taking the car keys away. It’s about us teaching our kids right from wrong, keeping them safe, and establishing their own self control.

discipline

ready, set, grow

a duke university study found that children spanked as 1-year-olds are more likely to behave aggressively.

wee ones [0–18 months]

t’s 3am…he’s just been fed…he’s been burped…he’s got a dry diaper…no temp…he’s not cutting teeth... and he’s still crying. It doesn’t matter how many kids you’ve had, how much education you’ve experienced, or how many books you’ve read on the topic…crying still happens and it can take a toll on the best of us. When the tears seem like they will never stop, remember: • think about it You're not failing your wee one or being lazy if you can't stop a crying spell. Sometimes babies just need to cry. • just breathe Remind yourself to breathe in and out to stay calm. It might take 5 minutes counting down from 10 and that’s okay. Remember: “Smell the flowers and blow away the clouds.”

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on the minds of moms | april • may twenty eighteen

• shout it out sista When you feel you’re reaching the boiling point, speak up. Don’t be embarrassed to admit you’ve had enough. This doesn’t make you a bad mom. Raise the white flag! • zzzzz it off Sleep deprivation will only make it harder to cope with a crying baby, so sleep when your wee one is…the laundry will be there when you wake up. • recognize the difference If you're worried about your ability to cope with a crying baby and just don’t feel like yourself, contact your doctor, or a local crisis intervention service or help line for support. It’s never a bad idea either to post a crisis number on the refrigerator with your emergency contacts or in another visible, get-to-quick, spot. When you go through these trying times and find it difficult to see the joy in every moment, just remember all the moms before you have been there too. So never doubt your parenting abilities and believe “this too shall pass.”

ready, set, grow

discipline isn't about creating conflict, it's about showing your kiddo how to control his own behavior.

tots

[18 months–3 years]

t some defining moment, your wee one becomes a tot. It may take you completely by surprise, but you'll know when it happens. The two of you will be casually shopping or strolling across the parking lot hand in hand when suddenly he will demand his freedom with a stomp, a scream, or a defiant "NO!" Your freedom-seeking tot can be taxing, but now is the time to focus on the discipline and the four Cs: Consistency is the foundation of good discipline and the glue that sticks kids together. So remember: • Say what you mean…mean what you say. • Don't give in. • Not only is consistent discipline important, but a consistent routine can also curb deviant behavior. Consequences, good or bad, tots need to learn their actions produce results. Teach them the cause-and-effect rule: when I act like this, this is what happens: • Actions should be immediate and appropriate. • Dish out the props for positive behavior: “when you act good…good things happen.”

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

Care, self-care, that is, isn’t about testing the limits of the child-labor laws, but it sure is heartwarming to see the joy in his face and hear the “I did it!” when he does things for himself. Here are some tips to start instilling self-discipline: • Start at the door with hanging up his coat and putting away his shoes. • Don’t eat and run. When mealtime is over, your tot can wash his hands, face, and even the table. • Take the garbage out, okay, not all the way to the curb, but your tot can throw away his own trash.

Circumstances must be considered when it comes to discipline. Adapting is just part of the parenting game: • If your tiny tot is over tired [didn't sleep well, didn't have a good nap], give him some leeway. When tots are sleepy, their impulse control is one of the first things to go. So there will be times when he won't [or can't] comply. • Consider your own mood. Is it a day that you are light on patience? It is better to avoid a battle of wills if you think you aren't up to following through on the established consequences? In these cases, ask yourself whether the teaching lesson is necessary. • Pick your battles. You may need to ease up on little things that are annoying but otherwise fall into the "who cares?" category. The habits your tot is likely to outgrow, such as insisting on wearing purple [and only purple], aren’t something that requires disciplinary action.

Now Enrolling 3, 4 and 5 year olds! Call at 701.235.2357 frohlichekinderpreschool.com 3030 Broadway N, Fargo april • may twenty eighteen | on the minds of moms

dr. spock’s parenting book, Baby and Child Care is over 60 years old, on its 9th edition, and has sold more than 50 million copies. His #1 rule of parenting: trust yourself. you know more than you think you do.

ready, set, grow

preschoolers [3–5 years]

hen is it ok to discipline another parent’s pride and joy? Every parent has their own rules and style of disciplining their own, but when it comes to other people’s kids, the situation becomes a social minefield. When you’re dealing with other parents’ kiddos, perhaps the right response depends on the circumstance:

what you should do: provide a gentle reminder, which can be heard by both kids, “In our home, we pick up the toys when we are done with our game." Steer clear of time-outs unless you've gotten the okay from the other parent to give one. Even then, save it for more glaring misbehavior, like throwing toys or being defiant.

In-home play date gone wrong Your 4-year-old son’s friend has been bossing him around during a pretend game of restaurant and then he refuses to help clean up the mess he made.

in public bad bully Your 5-year-old son is anxious to join a small group of other 5-year-old boys at the park. As he approaches the group, he’s met with, “Get out of here we didn’t invite you.”

what you want to do: assist him quickly to the naughty step and call his mom to tattle on him.

what you want to do: Race to his rescue and pick up his shattered heart, while pausing for a moment to go nose-to-nose with those boys.

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

what you should do: Make your presence known to both your preschooler and to the group of boys. Most bullying tactics will stop merely with your physical presence. Then in a confident tone tell your little darling there are plenty of other boys in the park to share your treats with. Wink...wink.

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on the minds of moms | april • may twenty eighteen

ready, set, grow

according to a survey by allowance tracker RoosterMoney, kids age 4-14received an average $454 in allowance in 2017.

big kids [6–9 years]

re you your kiddos’ credit card? Does your child know the value of a dollar or is money no object? How many times have you asked, "Do you think I'm made of money?" only to reach deep in your pocket and surrender your hard-earned cash or cave at the checkout lane of Target? Take back control of the Bank-O-Mama and start teaching your kids discipline about money:

show me the work…I’ll show you the money Should an allowance be tied to chores? It’s really a personal choice with some believing it’s important for kids to make the connection between work and pay. Yet others say kids should have a responsibility to help with housework, above and beyond any financial incentive. Ultimately, you decide what works best for your family.

Doesn’t hurt to encourage your kids to put away a portion for charity and another portion for savings. Let them choose where to donate the money. It may be a cause that a child can relate to in some way, like an animal shelter or a group that helps sick kids. If some of the allowance goes to savings, consider setting up an account at a local bank. This way, your kiddo can keep track of the money. Many banks offer special bank accounts for kids, and yours may enjoy the experience of getting mail, even if the mail is a bank statement. A great resource for any family implementing an allowance is www.activeallowance.com

no shop til’ you drop How should kids spend their allowance? It's a good idea to have them use it for discretionary things, not essential purchases like food or clothing. Let kids make buying decisions and mistakes, without dire consequences.

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ready, set, grow

a university of pittsburgh study found that yelling spurs kiddos to misbehave more.

tweeners [10–12 years]

o longer a little kid but not yet an adult. No, it’s not the title of Taylor Swift’s latest hit single, but rather exactly how your tweener feels. He wants to test the limits and we just want him to continue being that good kid he’s been all these years. Suddenly you may be dealing with backchat, lying, and attitude, not to mention strange new music and fashion! Here are tips to help deal with your ever-changing tween: get it…got it…good Understand your tweener will want to test out his independence. Answering back or disobeying is a way of demonstrating this and showing you that he has a mind of his own. Support as much

It’s Elementary!

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independence as possible, even if it involves some risks—tweeners need to learn by their own mistakes. listen…don’t just hear Take a vested interest in what your tweener says by feeding back what you've been told and not jumping in with your own judgments. lay down the law Be clear on the rules of your home and what you expect as your tweener grows. Like every other stage of development, say what you mean and mean what you say. easy on the orders Too many orders can overwhelm tweeners. Explain why some things have to be the way they are, but listen to his views. If you have to overrule, explain that until he's more mature, there are some decisions you must make for him. keep your cool Avoid arguments as much as possible and only criticize a behavior, not your child. role model Remember, tweeners still learn by example. They are bound to imitate what they see their parents do. The best way to have your tweener do what you want is to demonstrate that exact behavior, rather than just order her to do it!

Call 701-373-7114 www.oakgrovelutheran.com

on the minds of moms | april • may twenty eighteen

47% pf teens that ran away or are homeless say a conflict with their primary parent or guardian was the major reason why they left.

ready, set, grow

teens [13–18years]

“S

eriously, you never told me I couldn't do that..." "That's completely unfair; you can't ground me for doing that!" "Hello...taking away my car would end my world." Do any of these remarks sound familiar? Maybe we need to add an eye roll, scowl, or deep sign to make if more authentic, but comments and complaints like these are commonly heard in homes that fail to implement a consistent and structured discipline regimen. Research has shown parents who utilize behavior contracts rarely deal with taunting teens because the rules and guidelines have already been established.

Contracts for teens will help bring structure, consistency, and fairness to your parenting practices. With these elements in place, you're certain to establish a more successful and harmonious relationship with your teen and your home might just be a bit more peaceful too.

www.onthemindsofmoms.com

boundary basics and gritty guidelines Think of any contract you have ever been a part of. From an employment agreement to a house mortgage, don’t you feel better knowing everything is right there in black and white? With everything on paper and clearly stated, behavior contracts can offer a simple and effective solution for many parenting dilemmas. Teens are aware of the expectations set for their behavior and what the consequences are when those expectations aren’t met. However, for contracts to be effective the following commitments must be made: • parent and teen must be fair and realistic • being specific and detailed leaves no questions or wiggle room • without enforcement, the contracts are only as good as the paper they are written on • consideration for good behavior and not just misbehavior [rewards for success and consequences for failure]

If you are interested in a low-cost, pre-written behavior contract that covers a variety of different topics and issues, here are a couple resources for you to check out: • www.teenbehaviorcontracts.com – behavior contracts covering teen issues and more • www.parentcoachplan.com – offers an in-home discipline program that includes a set of behavior contracts, which can be downloaded

april • may twenty eighteen | on the minds of moms

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