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Mirror, Mirror on the Wall - Understanding your Reflection
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Grab back some minutes here and there, and let your body experience the beat of a new drum. You’ll go into a different vibration little by little, and find that actually you seem to have more time!
As I write this, the clocks are about to go forwards in Britain again - ‘Summer Time’ is here! Gone are the long, incredibly dark nights of winter, and it’s not long until I can enjoy once more looking out at a beautiful Skye sunset at midnight. Time - time - time - it can really seem to dominate our lives. At least, it feels like that to me sometimes. I always seem to be running late - for everything! Lynne in the office here at Origin Psychics has actually coined the term ‘Cathy time’ as opposed to clock time, in her valiant attempt to support me in being more realistic about my schedule. Is your life dominated by deadlines? Do you constantly feel like you don’t have enough time to do all that you need to do, and frankly, that you want to do? Wouldn’t it be wonderful to be able to return to a more natural rhythm in our days? To sleep when we feel tired, eat when we feel hungry, and to flow in sync with the universe. Of course, our civilization is now built around clocks, schedules and calendars, so that’s not really possible. But I’d like to suggest that we all try this month to redress the balance a little. Make a date with yourself, to step out of the crushing, robotic rhythms of the ‘clock’ world - literally take some ‘time out’. This needn’t be a whole day - nor even a whole hour. Grab back some minutes here and there, and let your body experience the beat of a new drum. You’ll go into a different vibration little by little, and find that actually you seem to have more time. Personally, I think this is part of why ‘Cathy time’ has become more pronounced in me in recent times. I go into ‘another space’ all the time in readings. And when I do get the balance right - it’s really worth it!
Cathy
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Mirror, Mirror on the Wall..... In vest igat i n g Y o u r R ef le cti on , By N a ta li e Ar k i n s Fairy tales have so much to teach all of us, children and adults. In Snow White, the Queen has a mirror that she asks daily “Who is the fairest of them all?” Of course she is happy when the mirror answers that she is the fairest. One day the magical mirror replies that Snow White is the fairest, and the Queen decides to kill her so that she can be the fairest. Interestingly, we can all invoke the Queen archetype when we look at our reflection being mirrored back through interactions with other people. When we don’t like what we see, we don’t associate that image with ourselves, so we “kill” that image being reflected back to us. We tell ourselves that we are not angry, mean, bitter, sad, negative, or any of the qualities that we don’t want to see in ourselves. We can also negate positive reflections in that we don’t always see our beauty, kindness, or compassion. In either case we tend to project it onto others and make ourselves feel better (if it’s a negative reflection) or worse (if it’s a positive reflection) by 3
denying this reflection in ourselves. This is understandable and the most typical first response to this situation. However we can go deeper and become more united in ourselves if we don’t reject this reflection out of hand and instead do some internal investigation. These are questions or steps that I utilize myself and have learned from experience and teachings. This will help you to bring back your energy to yourself and learn what you need to from the situation. Investigation of the reflection This internal investigation is not done to blame ourselves or take on someone else’s problem or issue. The internal investigation is to figure out what is the message or learning for you in this reflection, not how to deal with this situation or person. This investigation is done by questioning yourself and feeling the response. It is important to feel the response because the mind may play tricks on you and deceive you- and usually it is putting you into the negative. The body responses are different for everybody, but I will list the most common body responses, but you need to tune into your own responses too if they are different: •
Throat constriction
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Coughing
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Stomach contracting, feeling nauseous or queasy
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Feeling like crying
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Feeling like yelling, screaming - anger
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Headache
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Muscle tension anywhere in the body
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Gas or burping
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Laughter
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Butterflies in tummy
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Skin tickling
First Step: Ask yourself this question: What is my body response? You need to stop at this point and take an internal look. Are you having a body response to this? If you are not- this reflection has nothing to do with you and is truly someone else’s issue. You may feel no connection at all to the reflection- even if someone is angry and raging at you, and you feel no response, than you can let this go. Now, even though this may not be connected to you, you may still want to go further to see if there is anything you can learn from this- to help you avoid this situation again in the future. Any other body or emotional response, positive or negative, means there is a connection to your energy in this interaction. If you are having a body response, take note of what your body is feeling. Go inside and feel everything that is coming up. You may also connect with a past event that may or may not be related. Even if you are having a body response it does not mean that you created the situation or are at fault.
Second Step: Understanding Yes it is that easy, basically the healing comes from tuning into the body response and becoming aware. Next you need to understand how this is concerning you. There are two situations involved in this understanding, and I will give examples of each so you know how to proceed.
Situations that produce a negative response: Judgement: The reflection feels judgemental of you. Where are you judging yourself negatively? Do you tend to blame yourself for things, or judge yourself negatively in comparison with others? Then you need to stop that judgement and accept the way you are. Anger: The reflection feels angry to you. Where are you angry with yourself? Have you felt anger towards yourself recently in other situations? This reflection is there for you to acknowledge that internal anger and let it go. Jealousy: The reflection is a jealous energy of you. Jealousy is an indication that you are not happy with some of the choices you have made for yourself. Can you make better choices in the future, or give yourself a treat so that you feel better about yourself. Denial: The reflection is directing a denial energy to you. Are you denying yourself something that you really want? Are you denying feelings that you have about yourself? Are you denying your own beauty, compassion or emotion? This reflection is there to let you see your denial and give yourself what you have been denying. 4
Situations that produce a positive response: Beauty: The reflection is telling you that you are beautiful. As above, stop denying you are beautiful and see yourself through the eyes of beauty. Compliments: When someone compliments you, do you laugh it off? Do you think the other person is exaggerating? Maybe you need to accept these qualities that they are pointing out in you.
our self-love, so this is an indication to send yourself more love. So the next time you look in the mirror, or have some emotions reflected back to you, take these easy steps to turn into a positive and increase your understanding of yourself. The benefits are amazing from this practice. As you resolve your internal issues, this is reflected back to you in the mirror, and you will be getting more positive reflections.
Love: If the reflection is directing love to you, you may have either a positive or negative response, depending on how much you love yourself. We can always increase
by Natalie Arkins Ph D Origin Senior Psychic
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Tarot Card of the Month for April Strength B y Cath y C o x - S en i o r Or i gi n Ps ych ic The Strength card is one of those cards in the Tarot which seems to communicate an obvious message. At least, I can remember thinking that when I first started to read the cards. Yes - there are some obvious messages traditionally associated with the Strength card - about overcoming fears, experiencing deep instinctive feelings, even overcoming one’s own pride or the desire to control a situation; finding inner strength - perhaps even finding the courage to deal with intensely powerful feelings, especially in a relationship. Of course, reading the Tarot isn’t meant to ever fall into simply a literal explanation of the cards. Tarot cards are embedded with a mysterious kind of language, which communicates in both a universal way, through its association with archetypes. But also in an intimate and very personal way - for that particular person, at that particular moment in time. Only you can ‘know’ the message of the Strength card for you personally at this moment. Here, we’re dealing with the shared message of Strength. Take your mind then a little deeper, and contemplate the archetype often associated with the Strength card - that is, ‘The Warrior’. To find strength in life, of course we have to find it inwardly. This is where the warrior archetype comes in. Imagine wielding a sword - see it as clearly as you can in your mind’s eye. The sword is a symbol of clarity, and of a deep sense of intuitive ‘knowing’; and most importantly, it is a symbol of identity.
To find real strength in life, you must be prepared to know your own strength. When you need strength in your life, this is the most powerful tool you can use. You don’t need ‘armour’, not even mental nor emotional armour, or any form of defence. You don’t need to be tough, nor aggressive. You need first to be still and allow your own strongest qualities to permeate your heart, mind and body. Then the paradox is that you will be equipped like the Celtic warrior - to go into unknown territory, knowing you are infused with your strongest qualities. This way, you will be able to draw on your inner resources confidently and intuitively. The more you get to understand what your real, innate, personal strengths are, the more quickly and effortlessly you will be able to access them. The pathways are already there in your consciousness - the qualities which are strong in you feel natural; they have become part of you. Confidence in the qualities within you is the source of your real strength, and it will equip you to handle anything.
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Creating Abundance B y L y n n e L e sl i e Or ig in P sy c hi c
If we continually accept ‘less’, then nothing will change - it is a sign that we are settling for less than the best.
We would all appreciate more abundance in our lives, whatever form that takes, whether it’s to earn more money, have a nicer car, get a better paid job, etc. There are people who seem to just invite abundance and who find it always easy to make money. What is their secret? If we think about someone like entrepreneur Richard Branson - he is not short of self-confidence and passionate energy for what he does. He BELIEVES in his own worth, and that translates into believing in what he produces. This might give a clue to the link between the ability to create abundance and how we feel about ourselves. How might we be unwittingly preventing ourselves from having the abundance we all deserve? It can be all too easy to be accepting a lack of abundance without even noticing it accepting things or situations in our lives which are less than we deserve. When we start to look at every aspect - at even the smallest of things - it can be truly amazing to find how many areas of our life reflect where we are not honouring ourselves, where we are “putting up with” - where we are accepting less than the very best for ourselves. This can be us perhaps not speaking up about something we really want to do, or maybe we keep wearing a particular jacket which never makes us feel good, but we still keep wearing it through habit, even if we have a nicer one in the wardrobe!. If we continually accept less then nothing will change - it is us “settling” for less than best. Settling has an energy of putting up with something, it has a feeling of putting ourselves last, of a belief that we are somehow less important than others, less deserving, and this is the energy we put out to others, and out to the Universe - we expect less and so that is what we receive. Imagine how things would change if we shifted that perspective, and instead we believed that we were worth ONLY the VERY best in life, and if we started to act like that was true. The first symptom is that we would notice more and more in
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our lives where we “settle for less”, and it appears in the most surprising of places! It can appear as material things which we really dislike but feel for some reason we feel we should keep and we continue to put up with them. Or perhaps we settle for a cheaper version of what we really want to buy. Ask yourself - is it really because of the price.......? Perhaps you keep agreeing to meet a persistent “friend” for coffee, even though you don’t enjoy it. All of these things say to the Universe - “I am not important, I do not deserve abundance and joy”.
Warning - do not start this process if you want things to stay as they are! Once you start raising awareness, the changes can gather momentum very quickly!
You may discover that you already have the very best but just don’t allow yourself to use it or enjoy it. You may find that you ask for a certain amount for your services and clients start to willingly give you more because they want to show how much they appreciate you. You will find yourself feeling more supported, more valued, and creating greater happiness and contentment in your life - because you are now placing a higher value on yourself. So now when the Universe offers you these gifts - say YES PLEASE! and keep that gorgeous flow of abundance coming your way.
Meditate on these questions... •
Do you REALLY know and experience your own worth?
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Do you find yourself ‘putting up’ with people and situations which make you unhappy?
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Do you allow yourself to experience joy in your life, on a day to day basis? 8
Beware the ‘Comfort Zone’ of love. B y Cat hy C o x Many clients have called me in a state of frustration about their relationship - they feel discontent with their relationship, but not necessarily unhappy. But most of all, they feel quite powerless to effectively change matters - to communicate their discontent to their partner in a way which is heard. The following is an email I received from a client of mine, and my response to her questions. (The names have been changed to respect her privacy.) Dear Cathy, I frankly feel a bit ungrateful writing to you about my relationship... I tell myself I should be content – I have a relationship now with a lovely man, who regularly tells me he loves me. We've been together for over year, and when we spend time together, we get on really well. It is such an improvement on my marriage, I can't tell you! That was quite dis-functional, and it took me some time to overcome my depression after I left him. But I'm afraid I'm not happy. I can't talk to my friends about it – they all think I'm so fortunate to have found such a lovely new partner. I do love him, and I know that he loves me. I'm not even sure why I'm not happy. I certainly don't want to move in with him. Nor do I even want to think about another marriage. Should I step back from this relationship? Will it develop or just drift along like this? Can you help me?
‘Dear Jemima, Well the first thing I'd like to say to you is to suggest that you stop judging yourself! Admitting to yourself that you're unhappy is actually OK, regardless of what you tell yourself you 'should' be feeling. In doing a reading on your relationship, I feel that you and Kenny do genuinely love each other. You're both very busy, active people, with many responsibilities. You've both quite consciously decided to take the emotional risk of becoming romantically involved again, after the hurt of failed relationships on both sides. But it does feel too as though Kenny, in particular, has become quite comfortable with your relationship, its rhythms and routines, and how it nourishes his life. This is not so terribly surprising, is it? I feel that you're pretty adept at looking after him, emotionally and practically. You're a very amenable person; you're also open hearted and are quite happy to look after those you love. You quite easily and happily put energy into your relationships, not just romantic ones, but relationships of all kinds. Unfortunately Kenny has become quite comfortable with the routines of your relationship, and you've actually put quite a lot of energy into making things comfortable! 9
This isn't wrong, by the way. Sweeping generalization approaching – WE WOMEN ARE PRETTY GOOD AT CREATING COMFORT! Well I did warn you! Let's be honest about it – this has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with gender stereotypes, or the plainly obvious ways in which there are gender inequalities in our society. This is about the yin qualities in human beings – those soft, gentle, nurturing qualities which, generally speaking, are more pronounced in women. It's also not really an answer to simply try not to be that way. Caring for those we love is a basic human quality, and fundamental to happy relationships of any kind. No, the way forwards really in a relationship which has become a bit like a pair of old slippers is to firstly think about your needs, your limits or boundaries, and then to communicate that as clearly and openly as possible with Kenny. Is he actually putting energy into your relationship? Think practically first of all. Your discontent is coming from somewhere. I don't sense that you're the kind of woman who has 'high maintenance' expectations of her partner. But does he even really understand that you feel so discontent? I don't mean, have you told him. Clearly, whatever message you've been trying to communicate with him hasn't registered. This could be simply because he is self-centered or self-absorbed, but I don't really get that feeling about Kenny.
I do feel that your relationship has a lot of It's more likely because he doesn't potential – there are very positive qualities understand the emotional language for the two of you to work with. Knowing you've been using, in an attempt to your boundaries, and then communicating have him ‘get’ what your emotional them in both words AND actions will take needs are. some courage and some time. One Continuing to say nothing will create something Jemima – conversation won't be enough. The fear of what it will create a storm of resentment and unhappiness might happen will well up in you, of that I'm within you, which will no doubt erupt at some point. pretty certain. But you've dealt with much more 'Stepping back' as you suggest won't solve anything. challenging emotion situations in your life prior Many many clients ask about this kind of thing, as a to this Jemima. You can certainly handle this, and strategy of sorts to getting what they want in their bring your relationship to a much happier place, relationship. Frankly, it is usually just a form of slowly but surely.’ emotional manipulation – subtle in some cases, but manipulation nonetheless. It may get a reaction, and in fact, it does so very often. But it won't really solve the problems in your relationship in the long term.
Your April Horoscopes HAPPY BIRTHDAY ARIES! Well Aries, both Mercury and Mars will be going out of retrograde at the beginning of April, and what a relief that will be for you! First of all, Mercury being retrograde really put all that fiery Aries energy in neutral for the last month. And as if that wasn’t enough, Mars, Aries ruling planet has also been retrograde since mid-January. With Mars being in backward motion, it has been a very rough time for most Aries, if you’ve been trying to get any business or projects started. That will all end in April you will have more energy, and the ability to complete projects, than you have in the last few month. This month will be the beginning of you getting your finances in much better order. And, as far as love is concerned, you may actually be able to work our some of those long-standing conflicts with your lover. All in all, it’s a great birthday month for you!
Taurus Well hello Taurus - what a month this will be for you! There will be many, many changes ahead for you. And you will find that many of them will be of a positive nature. You have been in the past in a slow starting mode, and this month will be the time to change that. Yes, Mars has finally gone in direct motion, and this is making you both very happy and relieved. You had felt somewhat stalled and now you will be experiencing a renewed sense of purpose, such as you have not felt for a while. In regard to your finances - don’t make any sudden moves or investments. Now in the area of love, that is an entirely different matter. It is finally time for you to go after what you want in this area and enjoy the adventure.
Gemini Hello Gemini - you have probably been feeling a bit scattered over the last couple of months. You have been feeling that you want this and then that, and not knowing quite what to decide. And the retrograde mercury didn’t help you much in this area. You will be able to make decisions and stick to them much better in April. You will also get some help from the planet Mars, as it will be going in a direct motion this month. Any tiredness and inertia on projects will lessen for you in April. Financially, it would be wise to go a little slower in the spending arena, and put
Reese Witherspoon Celebrity Aries
some away for a rainy day. At this time your love life is likely to be very confusing - it is time to sit down alone, be still and quiet, and make your decisions from a peaceful place.
Cancer Hello Cancer - yes April is here, and it may be a month of unusual challenges for you. Many emotions, thoughts and projects that you thought were so important in the past, may not hold the same interest for you as usual this month. You are feeling the need for a big change, but are not entirely sure how to make a decision on what direction is best for you. Some silent and peaceful time with yourself, will help you in this process this month. Financially, you will see many of your money plans & projects coming to fruition this month. In regard to your love life at this time, just relax, and “take it as it comes” for now. It will soon get moving again.
Leo Hello Leo - this will be a super month for you, filled with much added physical and mental energy, and a desire to jump straight into whatever crosses your path. You will also be feeling better about almost everything you approach this month. You have always had the ability to take on any
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challenges that come your way. And this month, that trait will be more present than ever, since Mars and Mercury have gone in a direct motion. Financially, things may start out a little slow, but by the end of the month, any blockages will have cleared up. In regard to love, that area of your live will be opening up quickly, and you may be surprised at what opportunities you will have.
thinking about doing something, this is the time to “do it”. You will get much help from the planets this month, to help you complete what you want. Financially, take your time with any new investments or big purchases. In regard to love, you will be surprised at all the new doors opening for you in the coming weeks!
Virgo
Sagittarius
Hello Virgo - what a relief to have that pesky Mercury retrograde behind you! It has finally gone direct, and Mars also for that matter. These two planets going direct will loosen many things up in your life. Most of the projects and situations you have been dealing with have likely been seriously blocked. But that is soon to change, and you will become fully aware of this, by the end of the first week of April, so just hang in there. Financially, things will remain pretty much the same, no major shake-ups. In regard to love, it has been a major struggle, and it may have been necessary for you to make some quick changes. Let things settle down a little for now.
Hello Sagittarius - April will be a very good month for you, full of lots of positive additional energy. You will be very excited with the onset of spring, and all that comes with it. You will be feeling much clearer mentally, now that both Mercury and Mars have gone direct. What a pleasure, to start projects and be able to totally complete them. Just take it ‘one day at a time’, and you will be able to see the results immediately. Financially, you will have no major issues getting in your way. In regard to romance, this is a very good month for you to meet someone special, so enjoy yourself!
Libra Hello Libra - April could start out a little bit slow for you, with some challenges you hadn’t expected. Some situations and issues you thought you had already cleared up, will come back to shake you up a bit. So once and for all, it is important that you clear up all loose ends. This is not a good time to be in denial about anything or anyone. Financially, you may be pleasantly surprised at a new influx of money coming your way. In regard to love, taking the road of least resistance, and “going with the flow” with your lover, will serve your “highest good” for now.
Hello Capricorn - the message for you is to hang in there! April will be flowing along much easier for you than the past few months have done. Many situations that have appeared to have no immediate answers, will start to become resolved this month. Much to your surprise, as you may have thought there was no answer to the conflicts around you. This month you have a healthy knowledge of how to take care of business, at every level in your life. Financially, you are finally realizing that the Universe is your “source and supply”, and not the work you do. In regard to romance, just hang in there, and take care of “first things first”, and the rewards will follow soon after.
Scorpio
Aquarius
Hello Scorpio. Until now, you have given much thought to what parts of your life you would like to rearrange and change. Well okay, April would be the best month for you to put your new ideas into action, instead of just sitting around and
Capricorn
Hello Aquarius - the month of April will be a month of various new ideas and choices for you. You may have thought, that you no longer have the energy or insight you once had about your life, and what direction to follow. Well, actually that is not true; your own intuition has been your
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guide so far, so why ignore it now. Yes, you may feel a bit tired and burnt out, but by mid-April, that will turn around. So attack your future goals with gusto, and let nothing stand in your way. Financially, try to not spend as much money as you have been in the past few months. And in regard to love, be sure, what or who you want, and/or why. Take a deep breath and make a firm decision.
Pisces Hello Pisces - you may well be feeling a bit tired, so listen to your intuition, and take things slowly, at least during the first two weeks of the month. After doing so, the rest of April will be a very positive, enlightening month for you. You always know intuitively what is best for you, but you don’t always listen - now’s the time to listen. Financially, your
money is on the upswing, so enjoy it. In regard to romance, love is grand, isn’t it? So maybe now it is about time you let somebody new into your life.
by Sandy Johnson Sandy brings a range of psychic gifts and a wealth of experience to her readings. Clairvoyance, Tarot, and Astrology are her preferred psychic arts. With over 35 years experience in working in the psychic arts, Sandy brings a real passion for working with people in their interpersonal relationships, decisions, and the spiritual growth they seek. She will connect with you, wherever you’re at, and support you on the path forwards.
Mars - Bringer of War! Mars is the fourth planet, and in Roman mythology was known as the son of Juno. He was the “God of War”, but he also ruled fertility and agriculture.
He was known as the “God” that kept the peace, doing it through the act of “War”. In astrology Mars rules the sign of Aries, and rules desire, energy and action. It also rules the head in the body, so often Aries people can be prone to headaches. In astrology Mars’ lesson is to learn to deal with the war outside us, AND the war within. The key here is to transmute our self-centered desires into focused intent and healing power. Some of the positive traits of Mars and the sign of Aries are - energy, courage, spontaneity, frankness, leadership and the ability to be a generative force, in the things they approach in life. On the negative side, they can be foolhardy, combative, cruel, and defiant. Not a very pretty picture for sure, but then we all have those ‘not so pretty’ qualities. The key here is to transmute all that extra energy in a positive manner, in our daily lives. Aries people may do
this through sport, as Aries are natural born athletes and like to be in constant physical motion. They are also blessed with tremendous passion and a strong sex drive. They tend to be great business people, and will often be a CEO of a corporation, or own their own business. Because of their independent nature, Aries people must be in charge. Once the Aries person learns how to balance the vastly different traits of their sun sign, and slow down, think and use all that fantastic energy in moderation, they will be on their way to a way more peaceful and satisfying life.
ARIES Modality – Cardinal Element – Fire Planetary Ruler – Mars • Energetic • Assertive & Pioneering • Independent Aries people are likely to be passionate and active, and happiest when they’re living in the moment. Their natural courage allows them to step out into the unknown, and lead an exciting and adventurous life.
The Six steps to Mindfulness... This month, we continue our feature article on Mindfulness, by Linda McCarthy. 3: To create the future you seek, inhabit the present - breathe. Living consciously with alert interest has a powerful effect on our inter-personal life. Mindfulness actually inoculates people against aggressive impulses, say Whitney Heppner and Michael Kernis of the University of Georgia. In a study they conducted, each subject was told that other the other subjects were forming a group, and then voting on who was permitted to join. Five minutes later, the experimenter announced the results —either the subject had gotten the least number of votes and been rejected or they’d been accepted. Beforehand, half the subjects had undergone a mindfulness exercise in which each slowly ate a raisin, savouring its taste and texture and focusing on each sensation. Later, in what they thought was a separate experiment, subjects had the opportunity to deliver a painful blast of noise to another person. Among subjects who hadn't eaten the raisin, those who were told they'd been rejected by the group became aggressive, inflicting long and painful sonic blasts without provocation. 14
Stung by social rejection, they took it out on other people. But among those who'd eaten the raisin first, it didn't matter whether they'd been ostracized or embraced. Either way, they were serene and unwilling to inflict pain on others. How does being in the moment make you less aggressive? "Mindfulness decreases ego involvement," explains Kernis. "So people are less likely to link their self-esteem to events and more likely to take things at face value." Mindfulness also makes people feel more connected to other people—that empathic feeling of being "at one with the universe." Mindfulness boosts your awareness of how you interpret and react to what's happening in your mind. It increases the gap between emotional impulse and action, allowing you to do what Buddhists describe as ‘recognising the spark before the flame’. Focusing on the present reboots your mind so you can respond thoughtfully rather than automatically. Instead of lashing out in anger, backing down in fear, or mindlessly indulging a passing craving, you get the opportunity to say to yourself, "This is the emotion I'm feeling. How should I respond?" Mindfulness increases self-control; since you're not getting thrown by threats to your self-esteem, you're better able to regulate your behaviour. That's the other irony: Inhabiting your own mind more fully has a powerful effect on your interactions with others.
Of course, during a flare-up with your significant other it's rarely practical to duck out and savour a raisin! But there's a simple exercise you can do anywhere, any time, to induce mindfulness: Breathe. There's no better way to bring yourself into the present moment than to focus on your breathing. Because you're placing your awareness on what's happening right now, you propel yourself powerfully into the present moment.
4: To make the most of time, lose track of it - flow. Perhaps the most complete way of living in the moment is the state of total absorption psychologists call ‘flow’. Flow occurs when you're so engrossed in a task that you lose track of everything else around you. Flow embodies an apparent paradox: How can you be living in the moment if you're not even aware of the moment? The depth of engagement absorbs you powerfully, keeping attention so focused that distractions cannot penetrate. You focus so intensely on what you're doing that you're unaware of the passage of time. Hours can pass without you noticing. Flow is an elusive state. As with romance or sleep, you can't just will yourself into it—all you can do is set the stage, creating the optimal conditions for it to occur. The first requirement for flow is to set a goal that's challenging but not unattainable—something you have to marshal your resources and stretch yourself to achieve. The task should be matched to your ability level—not so difficult that you'll feel stressed, but not so easy that you'll get bored. In flow, you're firing on all cylinders to rise to a challenge. To set the stage for flow goals need to be clearly defined so that you always know your next step. "It could be playing the next bar in a scroll of music, or finding the next foothold if you're a rock climber, or turning the page if you're reading a good novel," says Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, the psychologist who first defined the concept of flow. "At the same time, you're kind of anticipating." You also need to set up the task in such a way that you receive direct and immediate feedback; with your successes and failures apparent, you can seamlessly adjust your behaviour. A climber on the mountain knows immediately if his foothold is secure; a pianist knows instantly when they’ve played the wrong note.
5: If something is bothering you, move toward it rather than away from it (acceptance). We all have pain in our lives, whether it's the ex we still long for, the jackhammer snarling across the street, or the sudden wave of anxiety when we get up to give a speech. If we let them, such irritants can distract us from the enjoyment of life. Paradoxically, the obvious response—focusing on the problem in order to combat and overcome it— often makes it worse, argues Stephen Hayes, a psychologist at the University of Nevada. The mind's natural tendency when faced with pain is to attempt to avoid it—by trying to resist unpleasant thoughts, feelings, and sensations. When we lose a love, for instance, we fight our feelings of heartbreak. When we're sitting in
the dentist's chair waiting for a painful root canal, we wish we were anywhere but there. But in many cases, negative feelings and situations can't be avoided—and resisting them only magnifies the pain. The problem is we don’t just have primary emotions but also secondary ones—emotions about other emotions. We get stressed out and then think, "I wish I weren't so stressed out." The primary emotion is stress over your workload. The secondary emotion is feeling, "I hate being stressed." It doesn't have to be this way. The solution is acceptance—letting the emotion be there. That is, being open to the way things are in each moment without trying to manipulate or change the experience—without judging it, clinging to it, or pushing it away. The present moment can only be as it is. Trying to change it only frustrates and exhausts you. Acceptance relieves you of this needless extra suffering. Acceptance of an unpleasant state doesn't mean you don't have goals for the future. It just means you accept that certain things are beyond your control. The sadness, stress, pain, or anger is there whether you like it or not. Nor does acceptance mean you have to like what's happening. "Acceptance of the present moment has nothing to do with resignation," writes Kabat-Zinn. "Acceptance doesn't tell you what to do. What happens next, what you choose to do; that has to come
out of your understanding of this moment."
6: Know that you don't know engagement. You've probably had the experience of driving along a highway only to suddenly realise you have no memory or awareness of the previous 15 minutes. Maybe you even missed your exit. You just zoned out; you were somewhere else, and it's as if you've suddenly woken up at the wheel. Or maybe it happens when you're reading a book: "I know I just read that page, but I have no idea what it said." These autopilot moments are what Harvard's Ellen Langer calls mindlessness—times when you're so lost in your thoughts that you aren't aware of your present experience. As a result, life passes you by without registering on you. The best way to avoid such blackouts, Langer says, is to develop the habit of always noticing new things in whatever situation you're in. That process creates engagement with the present moment and releases a cascade of other benefits. Noticing new things puts you emphatically in the here and now. We become mindless, Langer explains, because once we think we know something, we stop paying attention to it. We go about our morning commute in a haze because we've trod the same route a hundred times before. But if we see the world with fresh eyes, we realize almost everything is different each time—the pattern of
light on the buildings, the faces of the people, even the sensations and feelings we experience along the way. Noticing imbues each moment with a new, fresh quality. Some people have termed this "beginner's mind." By acquiring the habit of noticing new things, says Langer, we recognize that the world is actually changing constantly. We really don't know how the espresso is going to taste or how the commute will be—or at least, we're not sure.
Don't Just Do Something, Sit There Living a consistently mindful life takes effort. But mindfulness itself is easy. "People set the goal of being mindful for the next 20 minutes or the next two weeks, then they think mindfulness is difficult because they have the wrong yardstick," says Jay Winner, a California-based family physician and author of Take the Stress out of Your Life. "The correct yardstick is just for this moment." Mindfulness is the only intentional, systematic activity that is not about trying to improve yourself or get anywhere else, explains KabatZinn. It is simply a matter of realizing where you already are. A cartoon from The New Yorker sums it up: Two monks are sitting side by side, meditating. The younger one is giving the older one a quizzical look, to which the older one responds, "Nothing happens next. This is it."
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DID YOU KNOW? A new study demonstrates how emotions can affect how we predict future events - it’s called ‘The Emotional Oracle’... A new study published in the February edition of the Journal of Consumer Research by Professor Michel Tuan Pham (Columbia Business School) et al combines 8 different experiments into how emotions can affect how we predict future events. The authors coined the term “Emotional Oracle” which I think is very apt in this case and interesting to those of us who routinely use our intuition to help us navigate through life.
So a basic level of knowledge was required to help the participants in their predictions. What the authors reasoned from this study is that we process conscious (knowledge about the subject, logic, reason) and unconscious (emotional, gut instincts) information to base our decisions and this gives us a “cumulative” knowledge effect allowing us to correctly predict future events.
First of all, the researchers ranked participants into how much they trusted their emotions or gut instincts, and divided them into “high-trust” and “low trust” groups. They then asked them to determine the outcome of future events: from presidential elections, American Idol winners, football winners, weather predictions and stock market predictions. The high trust participants out-performed the low trust participants in every prediction, sometimes the differences were startling: High trust individuals predicted American Idol winners at a rate of 41%, while low trust individuals correctly predicted the winner 24%. When asked to predict future Dow Jones stock market levels, High trust individuals were 24% more accurate with their predictions than low trust individuals.
I believe this is a wonderful study, and only the tip of the iceberg in terms of studying how our gut instincts work in day-to-day life, and confirmation for those that may doubt or mistrust their instincts to learn to trust their intuition. As a Tarot reader, it is very important for me to trust my instincts, and I have found that the more I trust, the better I am as a reader. This applies really to everyone, and can be something that we can improve in our life. Learning to trust your instincts can be difficult, but it is only through experience, trial and error, and learning from your mistakes that you can move forward and trust yourself more. Your body picks up signals that your brain or logic/reasoning does not understand and feeds that signal into the unconscious. The body will not lie to you, although your thoughts can and do! By allowing the signal to be felt, and trusting in that feeling, we can improve how we make decisions for the future that will benefit us..
This trend did not stand up when the groups were asked to predict something that they had no knowledge of, such as weather prediction in China. The authors theorized that there must be some knowledge required in addition to trusting the emotions. This was also true for those that did not watch football or know anything about football- their predictions were not as accurate.
by Natalie Arkins Ph D Origin Senior Psychic
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Cathy Cox
Merle Hurley
Natalie Arkins
Sheila Jones
Manisha Godbole
Lynne Leslie
Sandy Johnson
Charli Haynes
Mike Muratore
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