ISSUE 100 / JUNE 2013
Connections THE ORIGIN PSYCHICS MAGAZINE YOUR PERSONAL EMPOWERMENT EXPERTS!
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PSYCHIC INSPIRATION Welcome back Amy Adams RELATIONSHIPS Take our ‘Heart Quiz’ and discover how well you communicate HOROSCOPES Happy Birthday Gemini!
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EDITORIAL
Welcome, to the June Edition of Connections magazine! As our June edition of Connections arrives in your mailbox (or your Inbox), we’ve well and truly entered the world of Gemini. Yes, all we chatterboxes and wordsmiths get to once again have an acceptable reason to be childlike, or at least, to have a good old happy celebration on our birthdays. But with the Sun in Gemini, it’s good too to remember that there’s no better time to explore the magic of words, to play with their power, to sing them in your own personal mantra, to let them carry your innermost intimate thoughts and feelings to those you love in a poem, or a letter, or buzzing away electronically! We seem to live in a time when there are endless ways to communicate, and where time and distance pose no obstacle to that communication. But with this immediacy comes a potential loss of awareness of the power of our words. How often have we said (or heard!) in an argument: ‘It’s not
what you said, it’s the way that you said it!!’ We’re all aware that words have incredible power. But it’s not only in the meaning of the words themselves; that power lies in the magical way in which words carry tone. And don’t assume that this only occurs with the spoken word. Tone, feelings, and intent embed themselves into written words as potently as a magical incantation in any fantasy story! It’s similar to the movie ‘Like Water for Chocolate’, in which the emotions of the central character went into the food she was preparing, and then deeply affected those who ate the food! So here’s an idea to try this month.... I’m sure many of you have kept, or still keep, a journal or diar y of some sor t. Perhaps it’s something which you use faithfully t o s e l f - r e fl e c t - t o explore and suppor t yo u r ow n p e r s o n a l - Page 2 -
growth. Perhaps it’s something where you like to record the important happenings of your day-to-day life. Why not this month, each day, record something positive or affirming about YOU in your journal. Not an intention necessarily, but simply a beautiful and loving statement about yourself. It could be as simple as an ‘I am....’ s t a t e m e n t ; o r s o m e t h i n g yo u appreciate about yourself or your life. See if you can instill a little magic into your own words this month. You might be surprised at what a powerful ‘magician’ you are! Have a great June...
Cathy
PSYCHIC INSPIRATION
WELCOME BACK Amy Adams! Origin Psychics is really pleased to be welcoming Amy Adams back to our professional team. If you’d like to have a reading with Amy, she’ll be available on Sunday, Monday and Tuesday evenings, UK time. I asked Amy a few questions about psychic work...
Amy, what is it that you enjoy about doing psychic readings for clients? I love being able to go in and discover along with another what's going on, why things are happening the way they are, and what approach can be taken to allow the best thing to happen. It's always a privilege. I love getting to delve into mystery! But helping people, either personally or professionally, is the height of all of it. Truly, there is no better feeling...that moment when it all comes together, and someone finds relief. To assist in this is to know what is important. And to get to do this for a living is a blessing, one I never take for granted.
Why do you think so many people look to psychic readings these days to support them in their life? Humanity has always sought out the unseen for guidance; it's nothing new. At one point, seeking an oracle was nothing unusual or outside of daily life. The unseen IS our support, and humanity once knew this implicitly. However, in these days when spiritual stuff may seem quaint or passe or ridiculous, readings of the sort we offer seem to stand in for all the other cultural supports that are collapsing around us. No one else is doing it. Even psychology has largely given away its art to prescribing medications. Our cultures seem to breed insecurity and isolation right now, despite our
touted "connection". At least this has been my experience for twenty years: nothing really reaches to our depths anymore, and even we ourselves deny them because they are not perceived as "productive". People who do psychic work are not only anonymous and safe, but are still talking to and from the realities that make up both our private sense of ourselves as well as our fundamental being.
Have you had a particularly interesting or powerful psychic experience in your own life? Yes, several. Last year, just before I received the call that my father died, I was dreaming that he and I were in my home town, and he was asking me to cross the river with him, and I told him that I couldn't. I woke from the dream and the phone rang, and I knew he'd died. He had, right at the time I'd been dreaming. Once, a client had called me very anxious that a date hadn't turned up yet, and this person was quite despondent about being stood up, but every time I turned over the cards I got the same one (the eight of wands), and all I could do was repeat for two minutes, "It's ok, it's like he's there. He's already there." And then the client said, "Hold on a minute," and came back to the phone saying "Sorry, I've got to go, he just got here,"and hung up--Things like that are fun. I dream a lot about things that happen right after… my sister's husband being diagnosed with a serious
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PSYCHIC INSPIRATION illness; I saw New York split apart just before the World Trade Towers fell; I have literally seen people whom I later met who had a great impact on my life for good or ill. I don't work as a medium, but I've had a few death visitations that were startling…for instance, seeing roses on my table be lifted and arranged in the bright light of day! Turns out that happened the day of my great Aunt's funeral, and I later learned from another relative (she was buried in a different state than where I lived) her eulogy had mentioned that roses were her favorite flower (I never knew this). Through my experiences with Astrology and Tarot there are many instances of timing being right on, or pregnancies showing up unexpectedly in readings which turned out to be true; big and little things too numerable to mention, and not necessarily all that exciting to hear about, but significant for the person involved. And that's what's important. I'm always awed.
What two books have most influenced you recently, and why? There really are too many to choose from. "The Shallows, What the Internet is Doing to Our Brains" by Nicholas Carr is one. An absolutely great study on technology throughout history, and how it shapes our perception of the world at any given time. An all time favorite with ongoing influence is "The King and the Corpse" by Henrich Zimmer. It provides a fantastic understanding of how to read and relate to spiritual teachings and language, myth, etc.--stuff we don't talk about or seem to understand (except instinctually) anymore. Also must mention "The Year of Magical Thinking" by Joan Didion, as well as "The New Black" by Darian Leader. Both of these are amazing, insightful books from differing perspectives on grief and how our cultural denial of the grieving process interrupts our sense of being. Really important reading for all of us.
Your Reading with Amy What to Expect... ‘What's happening now is a result of what has gone before, while the future is determined in large part by the actions and mindset of today. We are not always able to alter the outcome of a situation...each of us is part of a bigger picture, and none of us know all the ways and means by which anything is brought to fruition. At times your reading may disagree with your desire, saying that you can't get there from here, but this doesn't mean that your reading won't show the approach and method you can employ to get where you want to be. Readings are a purview of time and space: a clock showing what time it is in your life, and a map, delineating the route by which what you are seeking can best be achieved. Readings are helpful precisely because they provide a glimpse of that bigger scenario, and your place and possibilities within it. We cannot force others to be with us, or make an employer keep us on. What we CAN alter is how we experience any situation, including even the wor st...whether enthusiastically, with strength in reserve and trust, resulting in new cour age and confidence; or fighting, with hurt and resentment, resulting in insecurity and depression.’
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PSYCHIC INSPIRATION
Tarot of the Month - NINE OF STONES
by Senior Psychic, Cathy Cox
It's a warm summer evening; a soft cool breeze lifts itself up every now and then - just enough to nudge the leaves around me. And then, as so often happens when I'm in that strange 'in between', intuitive place, time almost stops, and I feel the familiar call to journey to that beautiful otherworld. This is the place we can all access - a place of magical wisdom and almost unimaginable possibilities. Clearly there is a story to be told - a message to share. You'll experience it yourself much more potently if you take a few moments now to slow your breathing, close your eyes for a minute or two, and just allow yourself to access your own powerful imaginal landscape. And so I return now to that familiar pathway, answering the call to come and enjoy the story. I find myself walking out of the twilight now suddenly, it's very early in the morning. The light of dawn is present, but a waning crescent moon still hangs in the sky too. The light is soft, but I can make out the landscape quite clearly too. It is almost midsummer eve, one of those wonderful liminal times, when the thresholds to this beautiful 'otherworld' are more easily found. And I can see them there in front of me - a circle of ancient stones, each with their own spirit, their own voice, their own character. And yet they also express a unified presence, as if they've come together, simply for the purpose of welcoming us into their world. Paradoxically, time also seems to have been suspended. It's early morning, and twilight, and thousands of years ago, and today - all at the same time. The soft mist of this gentle dawn dissolves around me now, and I can make out the shapes of
these stone giants. I stand just outside of their circle, and wait until I sense their invitation to come into the circle - to join them. Take your time with this step - you need to feel when the time is right for you. You'll feel the air change around you - just as if a window has opened, and a fresh breeze has blown gently around you. Step into the circle when you are ready‌.. I sit down within the circle, and can feel the pulse of an incredible life force, right there in the earth beneath me, and the earth around me there embedded in the stone giants. This is the message of the Nine of Coins today - this time of year is so often celebrated for the presence of light. But there's also this form of light - like a warmth wafting up from the earth. If you take some time to just be to sit in stillness and solitude, you might just find that you, too, experience this warmth. To me, it's like a tender hum, right there in the earth, reaching out to nourish me. This beautiful earth energy is always present. And it's especially audible at these liminal times. The message of the stones is one of patient application into a place of fertile abundance! We can work with this steady, solid, and generous energy it's always there - it's always available. We can sculpt it, and work with it, and even dance and sing with it. And the shapes of our creative vision will emerge from it. Feel the strength of our stone giant friends. They know the tests of time, and yet here they are. Breathe in their wisdom for a few more moments. Enjoy the security they create with one another in their circle. Take your time. Only when you feel ready to do so, take a few deep breaths, dig your heels into the floor, and then slowly come back to your present.
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heart therapy
HEART QUIZ... Problems with communication are without doubt one of the most common relationship difficulties we work with here in our readings at Origin Psychics. Try our quick and simple quiz to get more of a handle on what type of communicator you tend to be. Read your category on the next page... QUESTION 1. When your partner says they are going to call, and then they don’t, do you: a) Get irritated with them and call them instead? (2) b) Get on with your day, assuming there must be some reason? (4) c) Deliberately not answer their next call, in a selfrighteous mood? (1) d) Spend your day worrying about why they haven’t called you? (3) QUESTION 2. When you feel frustrated with your partner over something, do you: a) Make little sarcastic digs until they get the hint? (1) b) Wonder if you would be better off with someone else? (4) c) Talk clearly & openly with them about exactly what you are feeling, and what you find so frustrating? (3) d) Demand that your par tner explain their behaviour. (2) QUESTION 3. You see your lover flirting with someone else. Do you: a) Act disinterested and flirt with someone else yourself? (1) b) Pretend that you don’t notice and then forget about it? (4) c) Go straight to them and ask what is going on? (2)
d) Hide your feelings and probe them about it later? (3) QUESTION 4. If your lover has been disinterested and distracted recently, do you: a) Approach them and ask what’s wrong? (2) b) Wait until they come to you? (3) c) Worry about what you might have done wrong? (1) d) Plan a weekend away and hope that the situation will change. (4) QUESTION 5. Your partner wants to buy a new car and you don’t feel that it’s a priority. Do you: a) Bit your tongue and say nothing? (4) b) Point out all the pros and cons in the hope that they change their mind? (3) c) Drop hints about other things that you need more than a new car? (1) d) Tell them directly that you think they’re being self-indulgent? (2) QUESTION 6. Your partner tells you that their mother, with whom you don’t get along, is coming to stay for two weeks. Do you: a) Mope around and give them the silent treatment until she arrives? (1)
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heart therapy b) Plan a holiday conveniently for those very two weeks? (4) c) Scream and shout at your lover for their lack of sensitivity? (2) d) Try very subtly to convince your partner to shorten her stay? (3) QUESTION 7. You accidentally stumble across your partner’s journal and discover that they have been in contact with an ex. Do you: a) Stew on it and begin to watch their every move? (3) b) Think of hiring a private detective to find out what is going on? (4) c) Confess to your lover that you read their journal and then tearfully ask about the person? (1) d) End the relationship saying that you no longer trust them? (2) QUESTION 8. You see a film that drags up old hurts from your past, very personal things you have never told your partner about. Do you: a) Keep it to yourself as you believe they won’t be interested? (4) b) Make a drama out of it and if your partner doesn’t respond, get angry or upset? (2) c) Tell them you are feeling down but refuse to explain why? (1) d) Put the issue to the back of your mind - the past is the past. (3)
THE SENSITIVE SOUL: 8 to 13 Your challenge is that you can be ‘Passive-Aggressive’. You are a sensitive soul and make decisions based on your feelings. You know that emotionally connecting with someone is essential to having any successful relationship. Your challenge is not to give so much authority to your partner’s feelings and to start acknowledging your own. If you fail to do this, it will lead to convert communication, mis-communication and even resentment. Be aware of your feelings and you will be more trusting of your lover’s intentions.
THE PASSIONATE COMMUNICATOR: 14 - 20 Your challenge is that you can be quite confrontational. You say it how it is! You tend to react from your gut and know that direct communication, laying it all out on the table, is the simplest way to clear the air and resolve things in your relationship. Your partner sometimes feels too confronted and as a result can get defensive. Your challenge is to learn to communicate your vulnerability and deeper feelings, not just your anger. This way, your lover will be more receptive to your insights. THE CLEAR THINKER: 21 - 26 Your challenge is that you can be too rational & controlling. You like to analyze your responses and remain calm and collected when communicating. You are not one to lose control. You know that relationships are about balance in communication. Your challenge is not to become lost in the rights and wrongs of relating to your lover. This tends to lead you around in circles and, as a result, you lose connection to how you really feel and how your partner might be feeling. You need to be open to listening and understanding your partner’s point of view. THE INDEPENDENT HEART: 27 - 32 Your challenge is that you can tend to avoid difficult situations. You are first and foremost your own person. You know that relating is a simple process and you refuse to be bogged down by the petty emotions that often plague others. Your challenge is to realize that you can never really detach yourself from your emotions. You need to find a way to stand firm and independent in the midst of your relationships. Your partner picks up on your feelings through your body language and moods - no one is a blank slate! To help your partner understand your feelings, you have to understand them yourself first.
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energy universe
Did you Know...? by Senior Origin Psychic, Natalie Arkins Scientists have discovered that a Bee Venom toxin (Melittin) can kill HIV particles while not killing the surrounding normal cells.
while this treatment attacks the HIV virus directly. The scientists say this type of treatment may also be successfully used against the Hepatitis virus. From any holistic perspective, our sur vival as a species is interdependent upon other species surviving too. We must work to protect these other species to protect ourselves.
Bees are having a rough time right now, simply surviving. Viruses, GMO’s and ‘Colony Collapse Syndrome’ are harming our Bee population worldwide. Besides the enor mous effect on pollination to keep our food supplies going, bees also seem to have an array of pharmacologically significant products that will help humans in a variety of ways. This most recent study, done at Washington School of Medicine in St. Louis, and published in the most recent issue of ‘Antiviral Therapy’ gives humanity yet another reason to ensure that we work hard to help bees survive. One of the main problems with any treatment, whether it be anti-viral, antibiotic, or anti-cancer, is the harm that occurs to the normal, and healthy, surrounding cells. Treatments usually cause a great deal of body and tissue damage, and end up not healing but rather hurting the patient even more, as the body struggles to cope first with the disease, and then the death of the normal functioning cells and tissues too. In this study, the scientists added the Bee venom toxin Melittin to nanoparticles. Nano-particles are usually inert materials, very small, that can deliver the product or treatment to a specific place or even specific cells in the body. Melittin itself works by “poking holes” in the viral protective coat of HIV, causing its destruction. By combining the venom on a specific type of nano-particles, the scientists were able to kill HIV infected cells without harming normal cells. A significant difference in this treatment is that most anti HIV treatments work on stopping spreading or infection, - Page 8 -
On a spiritual level and as a totem animal, Bees represent c o m m u n i t y, h a r d w o r k , interdependence and remembering to enjoy the sweet things in life. MESSAGE FROM BEE SPIRIT: ‘I know the joy of focused work, but I know too the joy of shared work nothing is sweeter than to experience that hum, the rhythm which rises as our roles work perfectly in synch with one another. Once you know that beat, and really deeply trust it, it will carry you through your tasks, and you’ll wonder why it’s suddenly so much easier, and why work suddenly seems to be much more like a dance than a chore...’
NATALIE ARKINS
PSYCHIC INSPIRATION
YOUR JUNE HOROSCOPES Aung San Suu Kyi - Gemini
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GEMINI! Well what an upbeat and lively beginning to your birthday month, Gemini! You love to celebrate your birthday, and this year is no exception. And you’ll have plenty of drive and physical vitality with which to do so. Take care that you don’t get pulled into a bit of a power struggle in your work around mid-month. There’ll be plenty of opportunities though too for you to demonstrate your natural creative flair - take a risk to speak your mind in a positive way in your work arena. The latter stages of the month herald a cycle of real determination for you to improve your circumstances you’re going to be reaping the rewards for all your efforts, and particularly so in your love life. Stand your ground this month Gemini, be true to your deepest desires, and this will be a great and memorable birthday month for you. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Aries You have a particular focus on your communications this month Aries - don’t let yourself become frustrated in trying to get your point across. You might need to cultivate a bit more patience than you usually like to do, especially in areas where you feel as though you’re being restricted in expressing your sense of individuality, Aries. If you find yourself in a tense conversation, do stand your ground, but take deep breaths! ARIES IN LOVE: You’re likely to find yourself being very strongly attracted to someone this month Aries, but take a little care, as this is likely to be potent, but superficial. By the latter stages of the month, things will really free up again, and you’ll be feeling much more centered and clear about where you’re going.
Taurus There’s a bit of a planetary paradox happening for you this month Taurus. You may find yourself needing to ‘stand your ground’, especially with someone who has very different values to you. But at the same time, strive not to let yourself become ‘bogged down’ in a power struggle. Be as clear as you can in the way you express yourself, and this situation will free up before long. TAURUS IN LOVE: You might need to watch yourself around a very charming person this month Taurus. We know what a romantic you can be - just take your time, especially if the physical attraction is strong. You’ll feel much more confident about knowing what’s real and what’s not by the end of the month.
Cancer
It might take you a little while to get moving this month Cancer, but things will really fire up and be reinvigorated later in the month. You’ll find yourself feeling a particular sense of renewed enthusiasm when Jupiter moves into your sign on the 26th. You’ll have plenty of energy too to make the most of this energy. The challenge for you this month though will be not to get caught up in politics if you help it. CANCER IN LOVE: Your relationship - Page 9 -
PSYCHIC INSPIRATION might need a bit more attention than usual in the early stages of the month Cancer. Try not to get caught though in power struggles. Stand your ground on important questions - things will free up and be much more enjoyable once the sun moves into your sign on June 21st.
Leo The beginning of June is likely to be really bubbly and sparkling for you in your social life Leo - just how you like it! The challenge will be to not mix business and pleasure - and to stay grounded as best you can in your working life. Avoid power games and politics as much as you possibly can. LEO IN LOVE: You’re likely to be feeling a bit reflective this month Leo - don’t fight this. Listen to what your inner needs are and communicate this to your lover as openly as you can. Single lions might just find themselves on the receiving end of an explicit, but discreet romantic attraction at the very end of the month.
Virgo
You’ve got a busy and energizing month ahead of you for June Virgo! YOu’re likely to find yourself mixing business with pleasure early in the month - that needn’t be a problem, but just stay skeptical of anyone particularly charming. Your own self reflection will guide you best in this regard. VIRGO IN LOVE: Your own personal fulfillment will be to the fore in your relationships after the New Moon on June 8th. This isn’t necessarily a comfortable position for you Virgo express yourself as openly as you can to those important to you; but remember to make time and space for listening too. Yes - it’s going to be more of a balancing act than usual this month Virgo.
Libra You’re likely to be feeling rather adventurous in the early stages of June, Libra. You’ll be looking to stretch yourself and your mental capabilities. Try not to be limited by the demands others are likely to put on you, especially mid-month. And if you’re working in an area you don’t find particularly satisfying or stimulating, this might just be the month for you to start exploring other options. LIBRA IN LOVE: Make sure you’re guided by the facts in your relationships this month Libra, and not what you THINK the facts are. Things could be a little confusing mid-month. But by the latter stages of June, a
lovely sense of emotional playfulness will be available to you, and you’ll end the month on a romantic high!
Scorpio
There’s a particularly intense beginning to June for you Scorpio. Nothing unusual in that, but nevertheless, stay centered if you can. You could find yourself having to ‘speak your truth‘ in particular around the middle of the month. This situation will evolve, especially if you avoid letting the sparks fly. It’s a case of ‘picking your battles‘ this month I’m afraid Scorpio. Choose when and with whom you really need to draw that line in the sand. SCORPIO IN LOVE: You’re likely to find your heart racing this month Scorpio! Enjoy those passionate feelings, but try to stay grounded enough to be able to know truth and beauty from glamour and charm.
Sagittarius
June will be a month to demand absolute clarity from others, but also from yourself Sagittarius. Truth is always of particular importance to you, but this month you need to take the time and effort to keep your own internal dialogue honest. Mercury will help you with analyzing any challenging situations, especially around work. It might be difficult to avoid some politics this month SAGITTARIUS IN LOVE: There are some lovely, heart-racing times in store for you this month Saggie! Mars will really be firing up your playful nature. Keep an eye on your partner though, and make sure they’re enjoying the game as much as you. Not everybody is as competitive as you are when you’re in this mood Sagittarius.
Capricorn Really listening to yourself and your innermost needs will be of paramount importance for you in June Capricorn. And this will support and prepare you for a situation in which you may well need to stand your ground about what’s really important to you. Don’t hold back in expressing your individuality this month Capricorn. CAPRICORN IN LOVE: June is heralding some important changes in your relationships Capricorn. Singles who are seeking a relationship are entering a phase where sudden, inspiring meetings are likely. Those already in a relationship will find themselves being more open and relaxed and deepening the feelings of intimacy with those you love.
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PSYCHIC INSPIRATION Aquarius
Pisces
You could imagine that you’re the spirit of generosity itself in the early part of June Aquarius! Try not to let yourself get carried away with this feeling. In fact, you need to keep your wits about you this month, especially with the more awkward personalities that may be around you. You have plenty of charm, so call on this positivity to smooth any challenging situations, rather than defending your position or trying too much to ‘argue your point’. Your charm will smooth things over in the end. AQUARIUS IN LOVE: The early part of June will see you feeling very playful and looking for fun in your love life Aquarius. And by the latter stages, that light-heartedness could well be developing into something really rather magical!
June may push you to question things Pisces - make sure you’re really being true to yourself! One of your strengths is your capacity to dream and imagine wonderful new possibilities. But there are some confusing influences in your planets this month, so take care not to deceive yourself. There may need to be some changes in your life, or at least, the decision to do so this month. Your physical resources will improve late in the month, and with that, finances too. PISCES IN LOVE: You’ll find yourself feeling very playful in the early part of the month Pisces - actually it’s a great month for romance, as long as you’re not tempted to play emotional and romantic games. The very end of the month brings with it a great surge of warmth and optimism, and especially in your love life!
YOUR DISCOUNTS THIS MONTH! Remind yourself of why so many clients call us ‘The Relationship Experts’... Call during June and receive the following offers on any 20 minute reading. UK Callers - £5.00 Discount, OR 5 mins extra for free USA Callers - $10.00 Discount, OR 5 mins extra for free Australian Callers - $10.00 Discount, OR 5 mins extra for free Free Call UK - 0808 120 9695 Free Call USA - 1866 892 9216 Free Call Australia - 1800 620 446 These discounts are valid with any reader, and you can use each of them once during the month.Valid to June 30th, 2013. - Page 11 -
Wisdom Oracle
Relationship Tips for Highly Sensitive People Adapted from Dr. Judith Orloff’s New York Times Bestseller, “Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself From Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life” (Three Rivers Press, 2011)
In "Emotional Freedom" I describe emotional empaths as a species unto themselves. Whereas others may thrive on the togetherness of being a couple, for empaths like me, too much togetherness can be difficult, may cause us to bolt. Why? We tend to intuit and absorb our partner's energy, and become overloaded, anxious, or exhausted when we don't have time to decompress in our own space. We're super-responders; our sensory experience of relationship is the equivalent of feeling objects with 50 fingers instead of five. Energetically sensitive people unknowingly avoid romantic partnership because deep down they're afraid of getting engulfed. Or else, they feel engulfed when coupled, a nerve-wracking, constrictive way to live. If this isn't understood, empaths can stay perpetually lonely. We want companionship, but, paradoxically, it doesn't feel safe. One empath patient told me, "It helps explain why at 32 I've only had two serious relationships, each lasting less than a year." Once we empaths learn to set boundaries and negotiate our energetic preferences, intimacy becomes possible. For emotional empaths to be at ease in a relationship, the traditional paradigm for coupling must be redefined. Most of all, this means asserting your personal space needs -- the physical and time limits you set with someone so you don't feel they're on top of you. Empaths can't fully experience emotional freedom with another until they do this. Your space needs can vary with your situation, upbringing, and culture. My ideal distance to keep in
public is at least an arm's length. In doctors' waiting rooms I'll pile my purse and folders on the seats beside me to keep others away. With friends it's about half that. With a mate it's variable. Sometimes it's rapture being wrapped in his arms; later I may need to be in a room of my own, shut away. One boyfriend who truly grasped the concept got me a "Keep Out" sign for my study door! For me, this was a sign of true love. All of us have an invisible energetic border that sets a comfort level. Identifying and communicating yours will prevent you from being bled dry by others. Then intimacy can flourish, even if you've felt suffocated before. Prospective mates or family members may seem like emotional vampires when you don't know how to broach the issue of personal space. You may need to educate others -- make clear that this isn't about not loving them -- but get the discussion going. Once you can, you're able to build progressive relationships. If you're an empath or if the ordinary expectations of coupledom don't jibe with you practice the following tips. Define your personal space needs Tip 1. What to say to a potential mate As you're getting to know someone, share that you're a sensitive person, that you periodically need quiet time. The right partner will be understanding; the wrong person will put you down for being
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Wisdom Oracle "overly sensitive," and won't respect your need. Tip 2. Clarify your preferred sleep style Traditionally, partners sleep in the same bed. However, some empaths never get used to this, no matter how caring a mate. Nothing personal; they just like their own sleep space. Speak up about your preferences. Feeling trapped in bed with someone, not getting a good night's rest, is tor ture. Energy fields blend during sleep, which can overstimulate empaths. So, discuss options with your mate. Separate beds. Separate rooms. Sleeping together a few nights a week. Because non-empaths may feel lonely sleeping alone, make compromises when possible. Tip 3. Negotiate your square footage needs You may be thrilled about your beloved until you live together. Experiment with creative living conditions so your home isn't a prison. Breathing room is mandatory. Ask yourself, "What space arrangements are optimal?" Having an area to retreat to, even if it's a closet? A room divider? Separate bathrooms? Separate houses? I prefer having my own bedroom/office to retreat to. I also can see the beauty of separate wings or adjacent houses if affordable. Here's why: conversations, scents, coughing, movement can feel intrusive. Even if my partner's vibes are sublime, sometimes I'd rather not sense them even if they're only hovering near me. I'm not just being finicky; it's about maintaining wellbeing if I live with someone.
room for ten minutes at a party, even if I'm having fun," a form of self-care that he supports. In my medical practice, I've seen t h i s c r e a t i ve a p p r o a c h t o relationships save marriages and make ongoing intimacies feel safe, even for emotional empaths (of all ages) who've been lonely and haven't had a long-term partner before. Once you're able t o a r t i c u l a t e yo u r n e e d s , emotional freedom in your relationships is possible. ABOUT JUDITH ORLOFF MD. Transforming the face of psychiatry, Judith Orloff, MD is an assistant clinical professor of Psychiatry at UCLA and author of the New York Times and international bestseller Emotional Freedom upon which a public television special is based. She synthesizes the pearls of traditional medicine with cutting edge knowledge of intuition, energy, and spirituality to achieve physical and emotional healing. She passionately asserts that we have the power to transform negative emotions and achieve inner peace. She offers practical strategies to overcome frustration, stress, and worry and teaches people how to quiet overactive minds that won’t shut off.
Tip 4. Travel wisely Traveling with someone, you may want to have separate space too. Whether my companion is romantic or not, I'll always have adjoining rooms with my own bathroom. If sharing a room is the only option, hanging a sheet as a room divider will help. "Out of sight" may make the heart grow fonder. Tip 5. Take regular mini-breaks Empaths require private downtime to regroup. Even a brief escape prevents emotional overload. Retreat for five minutes into the bathroom with the door shut. Take a stroll around the block. Read in a separate room. One patient told her boyfriend, "I need to disappear into a quiet - Page 13 -
Dr Judith Orloff (Photo by Sherrie Buzby)