Wh y we need to forgive

Why we need to forgive

And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. —Matthew 6:12

As a caregiver, you are likely to feel wronged or unappreciated at some point. A brother or sister blames you for Dad’s illness and insists that taking care of him is your job. A spouse asks why you don’t pay him more attention, even though you are exhausted from caring for your child. The very person you are taking care of berates you for her troubles. How do y ou deal with the anger and bitterness that you feel? How do you cope with the overwhelming sense of injustice and unfairness? How do you release the grudge that grips your heart—even though you know you are supposed to forgive? Now , this may be a challenging thing to do, but we need to start by remembering

that we’re not entitled to a self-righteous attitude, even as caregivers who have been more than willing to give. Why? Because we’re all rebellious sinners, broken by bitterness and perverted by pride. It was only by God’s grace and mercy, poured out at the cross, that we were forgiven. And as recipients of that grace, we are compelled to forgive out of gratitude.

Jesus made this link when He taught His disciples how to pray about forgiveness: “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors” (Matthew 6:12). The parable of the unforgiving servant (Matthew 18:21–35) emphasises this point: we forgive because we were first forgiven. Let us dra w on this truth—that we ourselves have received abundant forgiveness

and mercy—to give ourselves the power to forgive. Forgiveness will then become a conscious, deliberate decision, as well as a daily process. Just as we grant others the grace we have so freely received, we forgive them as we have been so freely forgiven. What do es forgiveness look like in practical terms? We will look at some helpful ideas later, but essentially, forgiveness means giving up our rights—our right to seek payback and to hurt someone in retaliation. It means trusting God to ensure that justice is done. It means giving up our desire to control the people who hurt us, and to release them from our judgment. Ultimately, as we learn to forgive, we will discover that it will transform our very selves. When we make a decision to forgive, it will shape our attitude and what we think, say, and do—ultimately shaping our relationship with God.

Dear Father, make me sensitive to the moving of Your Holy Spirit in my heart, stirring in me an awareness of my wounds and hurts, my bitterness and pride, and my resentment and rigidity. As these things are revealed to me, I confess them to You as sin and renounce them. Thank You for the amazing gift of forgiveness poured out in my life that makes it possible for me to forgive others.

We forgive much because we have been forgiven much.