Outwords 208 march 2014

OutWords // Letter to the Editor

queer views, news, issues

BEING OUT IN THE WORLD: A SPECIAL ISSUE LOOKING AT LIVING ACROSS THE GENDER SPECTRUM

GLBTQ* THEMES IN THE CANADIAN MUSEUM FOR HUMAN RIGHTS

DOCTORS AND THEIR TREATMENT OF THE COMMUNITY

OutWords | March 2014 | Issue 208 | Serving the GLBTQ* Community Since 1994 July / August 2013

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“ I want all students to feel that they have a safe, nonjudgemental, caring and knowledgeable person to come to for advising so that they will be successful in reaching their educational goals.”

Leslie Walsh

Coordinator Student Advisement and Recruitment: Nursing Program

Embracing the Community Red River College’s LGBTT Initiative fosters the development of a safe campus environment, in which everyone has the chance to work, learn and access services in an inclusive, welcoming manner.

RRC’s Ally Project supports LGBTT staff, students and faculty by identifying campus Allies who can provide a safe and inclusive space.

For more information: Nora Sobel, LGBTT Initiative Staff Lead nsobel@rrc.ca or 204-632-2404 www.rrc.ca/LGBTTInitiative

OutWords // Index

4

THE LAST VESTIGES OF HOMOPHOBIA

5

HOMOPHOBIA IN NIGERIA, FIGHTING FOR RIGHTS IN MIAMI, JOHANNESBURG ACTIVIST DEAD

EDITORIAL

16

ACROSS THE GENDER SPECTRUM

20

THE WAG TAKES ON VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN

23

INDIGENOUS ZINE EXPLORES SEXUAL HEALTH

23

PRIDE FEST PLAN REVEALED

24

DOCTORS AND THE GLBTQ* COMMUNITY

26

THE NEXT GENERATION OF CONSOLE GAMES

28

WATERING HOLES

30

THE GROUP EXPANDS

INTERNATIONAL BRIEFS

7

WOMEN’S FESTIVAL, NIGERIAN PRESIDENT’S VISIT CANCELLED, MUSICIAN MOVING TO CANADA, ADDRESSING HOMOPHOBIA IN SPORTS LOCAL BRIEFS

8

10 12

HOW COPS AND THE GLBTQ* COMMUNITY INTERACT

EXPLORING GLBTQ* CONTENT IN THE CANADIAN MUSEUM FOR HUMAN RIGHTS IT’S BLACK, IT’S WHITE FASHION

TECH COLUMN

EVERY CITY HAS ITS GAY

SPIRITUALITY COLUMN

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OutWords // Editorial

OUT IN OUR

PUBLISHED BY THE OUTWORDS VOLUNTEER STAFF: EDITOR : Ksenia Prints SOCIAL MEDIA EDITOR : Miles McEnery NEWS AND BOOKS & MOVIES: Meg Crane ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR: Graeme Coleman MUSIC EDITOR: Danelle Cloutier FASHION AND BEAUTY EDITOR: Jefre Nicholls FOOD AND LIFESTYLE EDITOR: Shayna Wiwierski ART DIRECTOR & LAYOUT: Dylan Bekkering ASSISTANT LAYOUT: Michele Buchanan DESIGN INTERN: Christel Nadeau BOOK KEEPER: Christy Elias DISTRIBUTION: Meryl Kaye De Leon & Terry Wiebe WEB MANAGER: Vic Hooper SALES MANAGER: Phillip Olcen COVER ART: Tina Jansen Photography CONTRIBUTORS TO THIS ISSUE: Megan Douglas, Larkin Schmiedl, Andrew McQueen, Samatha Pickles, Steven Wright, Tina Jansen Photography, Rachel Morgan, Corey Shefman, Eric Plamondon, Ian Robertson, Darren McLeod, Ray Buteau.

BOARD OF DIRECTORS: Debbie Scarborough, Kevin Hills, Darron Field, Liz Millward, Armando Perla, Darrel Nadeau, Rachel Wood, Rachel Morgan.

OutWords 201-63 Albert St. Winnipeg, Manitoba R3B 1G4 Phone: (204) 942-4599 For office hours, please call.

General Inquiries: info@outwords.ca Editor: editor@outwords.ca Creative: creative@outwords.ca Advertising: sales@outwords.ca Distribution: distribution@outwords.ca Accounts: billing@outwords.ca Event Submissions: calendar@outwords.ca Letters Submissions: letters@outwords.ca Website: www.outwords.ca OutWords provides news, analysis and entertainment for the gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, two-spirit and queer community and its allies.GST 89671 7618RT, ISSN 17155606 (print) ISSN 1715-5614 (online) Canada Post Publication Licence 416 99032, Contents copyright © 2013 OutWords Alll rights reserved. OutWords is a member of the Manitoba Magazine Publishers’ Association. Articles are not necessarily the views of the staff, management, or board. We accept no liability for our advertisers’ claims.

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EDITORIAL GRAEME COLEMAN

W RLD

Our culture of acceptance still leaves some people facing homophobia

Manitoba has proven itself one of the most progressive places in the world when it comes to GLBTQ* rights. We have a bill that protects students from bullying, emphasizing the freedom to have GayStraight Alliance groups in all schools, including public faith-based institutions.

Only a handful of provinces have laws like this in place, and ours is arguably the strongest. This follows nearly 10 years after Manitoba was one of the first to legalize same-sex marriage in our country. But although it’s 2014 and our home is at the forefront of equality, there will always be people who treat you differently for being out in our world.

Fellow OutWords editor Meg Crane and I wrote a story about same-sex marriage for the Winnipeg Free Press this January. We used data and two interviews with married same-sex couples to explore how attitudes about same-sex marriage have changed since 2004. Like I expected, our findings suggest Manitobans have become more accepting, a satisfying reassurance that we are moving forward.

The morning our story was printed, we received an abundance of positive feedback. I felt proud to contribute an optimistic story about acceptance to a mainstream publication. But that feeling came to a halt when someone sent us a homophobic email.

They claimed they didn’t know samesex marriage was legal, which worried me because one of the couples we interviewed said they knew people who were just as unaware. It’s been 10 years - how can some people not know this? They also said, “Being gay I believe is a choice [sic].

In the Bible God refers to homosexuality

as an abomination. I pray you won’t be adopting innocent children. Our generation is sick enough emotionally without flaunting you [sic] homosexuality all over the papers and internet.” I know one poorly educated person does not reflect the entire population, but they do reflect a portion. This experience only fueled my passion to continue being a voice for the community in order to change perspectives.

Some members of the GLBTQ* umbrella face discrimination and misconceptions even more frequently. On page 16, four diverse individuals share their experiences about being gender non-conforming in our society. You’ll learn how one can either lose or gain everything from transitioning and why others are struggling to get the surgery they desperately desire.

A member of our community opens up about why he often left his doctor’s office crying on page 24. It is unfortunate that many doctors still address sexual activity, orientation, gender and sex all wrong. And on page 8, you’ll find out what some police forces are doing to handle our complex community.

Don’t get me wrong, being out in our world isn’t always so complicated and difficult. It can be as beautiful as we make it. But that requires work.

And as we educate and learn from our experiences, I am hopeful that it will become easier to make the future brighter than the past.

Have you faced homophobia? Email, tweet @OutWords or post on our Facebook wall to let us know.

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OutWords // International News Briefs // Compiled by Megan Douglas

Latest Nigerian anti-GLBTQ* legislation sparks international condemnation.

Photo courtesy of ILGA.

International organization at odds with Nigeria NIGERIA – The International Association of Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals, Trans and Intersex people for Latin America and the Caribbean (ILGALAC) condemned the latest law to criminalize the GLBTQ* community in Nigeria. The law states any person who participates in a gay club, organization or society, or is involved in a same-sex relationship will have committed a crime punishable by ten years in jail.

ILGALAC is upset by this major step backward, which adds to the recent homophobic legislation in other countries. Currently 76 of the 190 member states of the United Nations criminalize sexual acts between same-sex people.

Human rights activist Mbede, who was imprisoned for loving a man, passed away in January. Photo courtesy of IGLHRC.

Jean-Claude Roger Mbede death JOHANNESBURG, South Africa – The International Gay and Lesbian Human Rights Commission (IGLHRC) is mourning the loss of Cameroonian human rights defender, Jean-Claude Roger Mbede, who passed away Jan. 15.

Mbede was sentenced to three years in prison for sending a text message to another man that read, “I am very much in love with you.” He was released from prison after 16 months for health reasons. He and his legal representatives repeatedly reported receiving death threats following his release.

A former program leader for the IGLHRC said Mbede’s only crime was his declaration of love and he will be missed greatly.

Six GLBTQ* couples are fighting for their right to marry in Florida.

Fighting for marriage equality MIAMI – Six same-sex couples have united with the Equality Florida Institute (EFI) to fight for their rights to marry in Florida.

The plaintiffs believe Florida’s laws denying same-sex marriage violates the United States Constitution by denying them the legal protection that marriage would grant them. Four of these couples are raising children, one couple has an adult child and two have grandchildren.

EFI believes these laws are denying the couples the dignity they deserve and that these laws are outdated and harmful. The lawsuit was filed Jan. 21, 2014.

In a recent ball at the University of Chicago, some found out they were HIV-positive, while others danced in celebration of a negative result.

Come for the party, stay for the HIV test CHICAGO – Over 300 people gathered at the University of Chicago for a safe sex-themed ball to commemorate World AIDS Day. The University of Chicago Medical Centre sponsored the event, Paragon III: Everlasting Fame ball, where attendees danced, clapped and were tested for HIV, all in the same room.

The event came after the rate of HIV was found to have increased 22 per cent among gay men aged 13 to 24 from 2008 to 2010. All over the United States, countries have been coming up with initiatives to educate this population about HIV, including advertisements on dating apps and billboards telling locations of free condom distribution centres.

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OutWords // National News Briefs // Compiled by Megan Douglas

This year, Montreal’s long-standing feminist festival will look very different from 2012. Photo by Edgy Women Festival.

Edgy women’s festival MONTREAL – The Edgy Women Festival is back for its 20th edition, but under the new banner of Edgy Redux, and with a much tamer mission.

The long-standing festival describes itself as a feminist experimental art event, intended to explore the complexity of contemporary forms of feminism through fun, experimental and community-building artistic events.

But lately, the festival has fallen under hard times and suffered significant funding loss. Fittingly, this year’s theme is transition: a chance to hibernate the large-format 10-day festival in favour of a smaller, three-day undertaking. Organizers hope the smaller scale of the event will give them a chance to regroup, take stock and plan for the festival’s future. This is not the first time the festival has had to regroup and change its scale, and many remain hopeful for the future.

The festival will include a free movie screening, an exchange of performative lectures and presentations, a speciallycommissioned art show, and activist writing workshops.

Musician Larissa Tandy is moving to Canada to escape tolerated discrimination.

Moving for freedom VANCOUVER – Australian singer-songwriter Larissa Tandy is moving to Canada for the country’s stance on marriage equality and better opportunities for musicians, according to Gay News Network.

Tandy, both a solo performer and frontwoman of the band Strine Singers in Melbourne, Australia, has spent a lot of time in Canada in past few years. She married her girlfriend in the country.

Tandy said she doesn’t want to leave her family and Australia, but can’t live in a country where people tolerate discrimination.

Tandy’s last year to wait for permanent residence was reduced by the Canadian government.

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Nigerian president Goodluck Jonathan won’t be coming to Canada.

Nigerian president’s visit cancelled OTTAWA –Stephen Harper’s government cancelled a planned visit from Nigerian President Goodluck Jonathan in February, according to Canada.com. The Conservative government has been working to get friendly with the oil-rich country, but is alleged to have changed its mind after Jonathan signed a law that criminalizes same-sex relationships.

The Conservatives, who have become a vocal defender of gay rights, have become quiet about canceling the visit and will not comment on the reason. Nigerian media are reporting that the cancellation is due to Jonathan passing the law.

Openly-gay soccer player Robbie Rogers speaks on camera about his experiences of homophobia in sports.

Canada’s culture of casual homophobia TORONTO – Canadian sports network TSN has released a three-part series on homophobia titled ReOrientation: The Culture of Casual Homophobia.

NHL player turned broadcaster Aaron Ward voices the series and interviews openly gay athletes, ex-athletes and allies to the community in sport. The series focuses on “casual homophobia,” referring to homophobic slurs that are jokingly passed around the locker room. The term was coined by Patrick Burke, founder of the You Can Play Project, who also shows up in the series.

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OutWords // News

HOW DOES WINNIPEG MEASURE UP?

By Larkin Schmiedl

Complaints of contentious relations between police and queer people have been around for a long time. From bar raids to homophobic beatings, the way some police officers have been alleged to conduct themselves in queer communities leaves much to be desired. Now, the Province of Ontario is trying to curb future complaints by releasing a guide to working with the GLBTQ* community. How do other provinces measure up?

The Case In Ontario Ontario released guidelines in the fall offering ways for cops to improve relationships with the GLBTQ* community. Touted as the first of its kind in Canada, Best Practices in Policing and LGBTQ Communities in Ontario is a document designed by the Ontario Association of Chiefs of Police and distributed to all 53 police services in that province.

The idea is to get police actively addressing issues of importance to GLBTQ* communities, including improving the workplace for GLBTQ* officers.

“Our relationship with those communities in the past has certainly been marked by discrimination, prejudice and harassment,” said Joe Couto, the association’s director of government relations and communica-

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tions. “The way that things have been done in the past, we can’t continue to do that. ...What we’ve asked [Ontario police services] to do is take a long, good hard look at the recommendations, see what they are doing already... and then decide what they will implement,” said Couto.

In larger communities like Ottawa and Toronto, a lot of work has already been done.

But in other parts of Ontario, populations are smaller and relationships are at different stages. “It’s really about having the police services embrace the best practices in ways that are going to be effective for their communities,” Couto said. And part of the idea is that other provinces can create the own guidelines.

Winnipeg Leads The Way, Rural Manitoba Lags Behind According to Const. Tracy Patterson, Winnipeg Police Service’s (WPS) GLBTQ* liaison officer, the WPS went through the checklists in the Ontario guidelines and came out ahead. “We’ve actually had those things implemented for many years now,” she said. “Winnipeg’s been pretty good, we just don’t advertise that we do these things.”

Patterson’s job is to provide GLBTQ* sensitivity training to officers, recruits and cadets. She said she’s never experienced any discrimination on the job. She’s one of “about 10” out lesbian officers in the Winnipeg force of around 1,400. She is not aware of any out male officers.

However, she does see points for improvement. One issue she would like the Winnipeg force to work on is language.

Expressions like “fag” and “that’s so gay” are used in the workplace. “Officers always say they don’t use it in a derogatory sense, they don’t mean it that way,” she said. “But me being a gay officer, I always say something.

But they look at me – so I’m gay, I’m sensitive and whatever.”

OutWords // News

The rest of Manitoba is largely policed by the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP), where things take a different turn.

The RCMP has no official guidelines for working with GLBTQ* communities, according to Sgt. Greg Cox, national RCMP spokesperson. In an email statement, Cox said the RCMP makes an online course on GLBTQ* awareness available to its employees. He added it will be reviewed in light of the Ontario document, to ensure accuracy.

Community Claims Guidelines Too Superficial, Misguided But not everybody thinks police developing guidelines helps queer people on the ground. Jaymie Robertson has been part of Winnipeg Cop Watch for the past three years. They describe the Ontario guidelines as shallow and ineffective. “The way that people tend to address the problem is, ‘How can we make police treat queer people with respect?’ I think it’s important that we be asking why police are interacting so much with queer people. What are the conditions that are putting specific queer people, especially poor trans people of colour and more marginalized people, into so much contact with the police?”

Robertson points to the criminalization of sex work and the ways poverty and homelessness are criminalized. She said this keeps some queer people in close contact with police. One specific issue that concerns Winnipeg Cop Watch is the way trans people are treated by police in prisons, often being placed in facilities of the wrong gender, or put in solitary confinement.

As GLBTQ* liaison officer, Const. Tracy Patterson teaches new Winnipeg Police Service recruits GLBTQ* awareness.

Shelly Smith, former executive director of the Rainbow Resource Centre, has similar concerns. “The community that I think is still grossly marginalized by the justice system as a whole, including policing, would be trans female sex work folks.” She said this segment of the population still often finds itself in dealings with the police.

Other issues have improved over time.

Smith has noted increased police awareness of same-sex domestic violence, as well as gay bashing. “I know that over the past seven or eight years, the Winnipeg Police Service has done a fair bit of work in trying to create more education and training.”

Prior to appointing specific community liaison officers, the WPS had a small team of people who would go to the Rainbow Resource Centre and various events, ac-

cording to Smith. She knows a number of gay women who work in the RCMP, and said their experiences working there have been good. They’ve also been able to lend a different understanding to their colleagues.

“When these women are working with gay or lesbian folks within their community or within their work, and they’re understanding people differently, I think that’s gone a long way to creating some additional awareness and sensitivity.”

Barb Burkowski is the first female and queer member of the Winnipeg Police Pipe Band. Though not an officer herself, Burkowski said all her experiences have been positive. She has acted as a bridge-builder between Winnipeg police and the queer community. As former chair of Pride Winnipeg, Burkowski got the pipe band involved in the parade.

She said she was met with openness, with officers both inside and outside the band approaching her with questions. “When they’re willing to ask me about who, what, why vocabulary, and how things work.... to open the conversation with me and ask me questions on a personal level, to me that shows a level of desire to really get this.”

The Ontario guidelines can be viewed by visiting oacp.ca and entering “LGBTQ” in the search bar.

Do you think the WPS and RCMP should come up with guidelines? Do you think guidelines really change anything? Tweet @OutWords or email editor@outwords.ca with your opinion.

- Larkin Schmiedl is a freelance journalist living in Vancouver, B.C. He loves to write about social and environmental justice.

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OutWords // News

THE QUEER IN THE MUSEUM

By Miles McEnery

The new Canadian Museum for Human Rights is a balance of competing visions

S

ince the announcement of its construction in the heart of Winnipeg, the Canadian Museum for Human Rights (CMHR) has had a lot of media attention, as well as its fair share of controversy. There have been allegations that the content and tone of the museum’s galleries have been influenced by the Conservative government. No doubt more than a few Canadians will be wondering what awaits them.

Media relations manager Maureen Fitzhenry said the museum is the only one in the world that’s about human

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rights themselves. “We look at human rights as a story and we weave in stories from all different walks of life that support that theme. It’s not perfect,” Fitzhenry admitted, but stressed that a lot of effort had been made to be collaborative and grassroots-oriented in determining museum content. She said decisions were made by a steering committee comprised of four directors who submitted recommendations to the chief executive officer (CEO) and then the board. They ensure all content decisions reflect the museum’s mandate to “inspire reflection and dialogue about

human rights with special thought, but not exclusive reference, to Canada.”

Fitzhenry said the federal Conservative government has not had any influence over the museum’s affairs, despite the allegations. “We are a Crown corporation, but we are an arm’s length away from the government.” She did note that the CEO and board members are appointed by the federal government.

“They have the power to dismiss our CEO or members of our board.”

“That line between education and activism is a thin one,” said Fitzhenry.

While the museum is “deliberately

OutWords // News

“That line between education and activism is a thin one.”

- Maureen Fitzhenry

trying not to be activist,” she said they will work to encourage debate and lead panel discussions, while hoping that “people will protest outside the museum.”

Armando Perla, CMHR researcher and curator and OutWords board member, said, “There is LGBTQ content in almost all the galleries in the museum.” He has been involved with the development of most of them. Perla was instrumental in getting a gender-neutral washroom installed that will be an exhibit itself, presenting a legal case involving a transgendered woman who wasn’t allowed to use a women’s bathroom in a club. Unfortunately, there are currently only plans for one such washroom in the museum.

Perla said they were trying to present a more encompassing definition of human rights than the one offered by the United Nations (UN). “Right now, there is no real international hard law document that protects the rights of LGBTQ people.

So things that are not included in this definition, we’re trying to bring... not just into the intro gallery but to all of the other galleries as well.”

CMHR curation and research manager Dr. Jodi Giesbrecht said, “It’s really sort of an effort to show that human rights is ongoing, the concept of human rights in, let’s say, UN documents are pretty recent. These are ideas that have come up in the past few decades... and so a lot of our galleries do try and take that broad perspective.”

Giesbrecht and Perla had a nearexhaustive list of all of the content visitors can expect to see in the musuem. On the GLBTQ* end, there will be national content, including queer resistance in Canada, the Toronto and Truxx raids, the “We Demand” manifesto and the inclusion of sexual orientation in the Quebec Charter of Rights and Freedoms.

There will also be international references such as same-sex marriage in the

Netherlands, Harvey Milk, the spread of HIV/AIDS, the Iranian railroad, cyberbullying and the Blue Diamond Society. One of the galleries, titled Protecting Rights in Canada, will cover some landmark Supreme Court decisions, while another will focus on issues such as the residential school system and bullying from a youth perspective. With regards to women’s rights, Giesbrecht mentioned several references, including noted feminist thinkers, the removal of gender discrimination from the Indian Act and specific women’s rights like maternity leave, pay equity and abortion.

Many of the allegations concerning politicized interference in the museum’s direction have been made by former staffers who remained anonymous. One current employee commented confidentially on the museum to OutWords. They pointed out that more than one board member had connections to the mining and oil industries. Other taboo subjects include poverty and Palestine. “There was a whole exhibit that got cut, there are people who quit over that,” said the anonymous source.

“They didn’t think that peace was a human right. It was a whole gallery… it got removed.” When asked about whether the museum was going to open on time they said, “We are [going to] open on time, but we’re sacrificing a lot of the content and the integrity of the content to open on time.”

Regardless of the controversy, the finished product on display at the museum’s galleries will reflect a competing and dynamic series of visions. While the connections between the federal government and the CEO and board of directors can

be a cause for concern, we should also be cautious before writing off the museum entirely. If people don’t participate in the discussion of what truly defines human rights, their views might be excluded and that could result in the impotent, Disney-fied version that many are wary of the museum becoming. So whether you’ll be lining up to get inside or protesting out-front come September, the important thing is that you show up.

What are your thoughts on the Canadian Museum for Human Rights?

Find us on Facebook, email or tweet us @OutWords.

- Miles McEnery is the social media editor for OutWords.

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BOLD Photography: Jefre Nicholls | Stylist: Andrew McQueen | Hair & makeup: Samantha Pickles | Model: Steven Wright, courtesy of Elmer Olsen Models

Regardless of whether you choose to see the world in 50 shades of grey or through rose-coloured sunglasses, this spring when heading to the dressing room, be sure to take with you the bold of black and white. Strong, stark and contrasting, bold B&W graphic prints bring with them a strength and coolness that sit surprisingly well amidst the predictable soft pastel and floral palette of seasons past. Pair up these yin-yang colours for a modern, clean look that commands the room and is saturated with style.

Steven wears a thermal jogging cap by Columbia Sportswear, available at Sport Chek; white cotton jacket by Adidas Silver, available at www.gotstyle.ca; knit tunic, stylist's own.

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OutWords // Fashion

Black striped shirt worn as a cardigan, H&M; double-collared white button up and silver studded leather-handled umbrella

by Pasotti, available at www.gotstyle.ca; leather shorts and boots by Dr. Martens, stylist's own.

March 2014 // www.outwords.ca // 13

OutWords // Fashion

Black sheer “Whatever” graphic sweater and white grosgrain tuxedo stripe pant from H&M; glasses, stylist’s own.

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OutWords // Fashion

Black and white neoprene top by H&M for the Swedish Olympic team; leatherperforated high tops by Sully Wong, available at www.gotstyle.ca; Pants, stylist's own.

March 2014 // www.outwords.ca // 15

OutWords // Features

Being

in our world

By Graeme Coleman All photos by Tina Jansen Photography

Stories from gender nonconforming community members G ender is extremely complex. It’s a mix between our physical attributes, inner sense of self and outer expression. It doesn’t always mirror the sex you were assigned at birth, nor does it always fall within the male or female binary.

Gender is a spectrum with an array of shades. Along with male or female, one might identify as both or neither.

And the proper term for an individual’s identity is subjective to that person.

For the issue exploring the experience of being out in our world, OutWords sat down with four gender nonconforming people who were willing to share some of their personal experiences, bringing to light just how diverse the spectrum truly is.

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Dayne Moyer

Individual Identifies as a queer male

D

ayne Moyer’s peers had labeled him a lesbian by the time he was a teen. “I was pigeonholed by people to be one thing, which I knew I wasn’t,’” said Moyer. He knew all along that he felt like a boy, but he had not been thinking about transitioning at that point.

When Moyer first came out to his mom after high school, it was as a lesbian.

His mom took it well, but left him with a haunting comment. “She said, ‘as long as you don’t cut off your tits, I’m fine.’” Moyer knew full well that in the ideal world he wouldn’t have breasts, but that wasn’t the case. “It was tough to navigate that for years, because I had that voice in my head saying, ‘as long as you don’t cut off your tits, I’m fine.’”

Moyer found out his mom had terminal cancer a few years later. He decided it was time to come out to her again - this time as a queer male. He expressed wanting to make his body match how he felt on the inside.

“I said to her, ‘I don’t want you to be ashamed of me and I don’t want you to stop loving me and if I need to wait for you [to die] to do this, then that’s what I’ll do.’ Her response was, ‘If you really want to do this, then I want to see you.’” Moyer’s fear about being unable to attend his own mother’s funeral lingered, but in the end, he addressed their loved ones and delivered her eulogy as the son he always felt he was.

Moyer also had to come out to his common-law girlfriend. “We had our whole lives set and she was picking out wedding dresses, but I woke up one day and I said, “I’ve been trying really hard to be living genuinely, and to be fully genuine I need to start taking medical procedures,’” said Moyer. “She said, ‘I want to be with a woman and if you aren’t going to be a woman anymore then this can’t go any further.’” Moyer and his partner understood and accepted each other’s choices.

Although Moyer lost his relationship in the process of his transition, he gained his ultimate wish once people started seeing him for what he always knew he was. “Ultimately, all I needed was for people to treat me the way I knew I was. You walk around the world seeing people treated a specific way, whether it be the smallest thing like another man walking up and shaking your hand, someone calling you sir. I get all of it now, it changes the world.” Moyer has transitioned, but he doesn’t refer to himself as trans. “The reason I hate the word trans so much is because trans doesn’t mean born the other way. It’s an umbrella term to mean a thousand different things.”

Moyer knows all too much about being labeled something he doesn’t identify with.

One of the hardest things for Moyer after transitioning was finding his place in the world. “It’s definitely hard when all your friends are going to a gay bar… you start realizing that you’re no longer what these women want.” However, he managed to find love and is in a happily committed relationship with a new girlfriend.

OutWords // Features

W

Shandi Strong Individual Identifies as a trans female

ithin three weeks, Shandi Strong lost her job and wife. “I was literally on the kitchen floor, trying to decide which knife to use to slit my wrists,” said Strong. “My daughter came home at an opportune moment and embarrassed the crap out of me and we talked and that was the end of that.” This climax came after years of preparing to transition into a female. It took Strong five years to build up the courage to inform her employer of 15 years that she was going to be taking steps to transition. She wrote them a long letter expressing what she was going through and how she still wanted to work there. “I was one of the longest-term employees there, I knew my business, I was good at it.” The next day, they asked what they could do to make her go away. She got six months of severance pay and additional compensation after taking her employer to the Human Rights Commission. “But at the end of the day it was only money. My self-esteem was cut to the core. I didn’t know how I’d afford my life, my home, my marriage and everything.”

Strong still hasn’t completely figured out why her partner left her three weeks later. “These were all decisions she had fully supported.” Strong and her partner had been preparing for her to transition for years before she came out to her work. They even joined a cross-dressing group together and gradually introduced it to Strong’s two kids. “At that time, with my supportive partner it took a lot of the pressure off as she would say, ‘I’m here for the long haul, this is not a deal breaker.’”

Strong’s partner moved out of the house, leaving the bills solely on one person. Strong picked up a minimum-wage job and asked her daughter, who was living with her, to help pay rent. Within a year, her daughter moved out because of their financial difficulty. Strong hasn’t had a relationship with either of her children since. She got a roommate to make ends meet and surrounded herself with good friends as she got through the darkest time of her life. Strong successfully transitioned and eventually got a full-time position with a competitor of the company that fired her. “I can’t say enough good about them. We all got along and it didn’t matter what I have or used to have between my legs. And I think that’s the way the world is headed.” The company just closed Strong’s location and she is out of a job, but things are still looking up.

Strong, who is a lesbian, has had a new girlfriend for about six months. “I’ve had a couple of girlfriends in between, but this one feels really good.” She’s also writing a book and doing photography. “I’m embracing everything that I was suppressing before, everything that I knew deep down I was supposed to be. I’m on top of the world.”

March 2014 // www.outwords.ca // 17

OutWords // Features

Sav Jonsa Individual Identifies as non-binary

S

av Jonsa has been binding since they discovered they were nonbinary, but it’s now becoming a major health concern. “I’ve been binding for almost three years now, everyday for around 16 hours, and the most you’re supposed to be binding a day is eight.

My ribs are, like, going inside of my chest from the pressure that the binder creates on my sides. It hurts to even breathe.” Jonsa can’t get the removal of their breasts covered because they don’t identify as a male.

“You have to go through extreme psychoanalysis to make sure you are indeed a boy in your brain, but because I’m not I can’t get top surgery. I went to five different psychologists to see if it was possible.”

Jonsa’s doctor is so worried about them, he gave them a referral to get a breast reduction for back issues, which has a silver lining. “I don’t even know if top surgery would be for me anyway because I don’t want to have a flat chest and for people to think I’m a trans man or a man in general.” Jonsa is waiting for the surgery dates, but believes people outside the gender binary need more recognition. “I’m thinking about

18 // March 2014 // www.outwords.ca

rallying for people who are non-binary so people will see we do need options like people who are trans.”

Non-binary people don’t identify as male, female or gender-neutral. “I prefer to be referred to as non-binary. That means I’m not part of the girl-boy binary. I don’t identify with either traditional roles of man or woman and how they’re supposed to act. When I look at myself in a photo I don’t understand how someone could use any other pronoun other than ‘they.’”

Jonsa knew something was different from a young age, but they didn’t know what. “I just thought it was me.” Like Moyer, Jonsa first came out as a lesbian. After they started to learn more about the gender spectrum, they came out as non-binary.

At Jonsa’s first high school, they tried to start a GayStraight Alliance (GSA) and were threatened with physical violence. The threatening furthered in the girls’ change room where Jonsa had to change before gym class, since the school didn’t offer a gender-neutral option. “I started changing in the washroom in a stall which was really small and uncomfortable.

Then people started going to the women’s washroom and would make fun of me for changing in there.” Jonsa stopped going to gym in general. The school noticed their absences and the principal called a meeting with Jonsa and their mom.

“He was saying I was bringing the bullying upon myself by looking different. At the time, I couldn’t believe my principal was saying that to me, but at the same time I almost felt like he was right, because I was pressured to think that I was wrong for being different,” said Jonsa. “Obviously school wasn’t a safe space for me. I had no one to really protect me.” Jonsa left that high school.

Jonsa was really involved with the Rainbow Resource Centre at the time. They organized a few rallies against a policy in a school division which banned homophobia, abortion and masturbation from class discussion. “We started rallying about it to try to change the policy, which we ended up doing. So I started going to a school in that division and got to be a part of the first GSA they ever had.”

Worried about gym class, they tried to set up an alternative changing arrangement at their new school. “My gym class was second term, so the first term I was fine. But I talked to my principal ahead of time and we were thinking we could just use the single stall washrooms which were available for students, but when the time came for second term I was already being bullied.” Their mid-term marks dropped by up to half by the time the first semester ended. “When it came to Christmas time when we get our actual reports cards, I was going into a really bad depression and I was getting made fun of in the halls again. People were asking if I was a boy or a girl, calling me ‘it.’” Jonsa’s mom would have to force them to class.

“I would go there and be there for five minutes, I’d be getting made fun of, I’d be bawling, then I’d end up in the washroom just crying and going home afterwards.” Jonsa ended up dropping out of school before second term, but they plan to get their diploma in the near future.

OutWords // Features

G

andier’s biggest struggle was growing up in a small Manitoba town, which are often notorious for homophobia, transphobia and racism. “I found it hard to express myself. I’m already a visible minority, so being visibly queer you have to be aware of your safety. Living in a small community everyone knows everyone and news travels fast.” Gandier often felt excluded and unrecognized considering there was no one else like them in their town.

Gandier identifies as a non-binary, queer/trans person of colour. Being non-binary is already so underrepresented. Being non-binary and a person of colour is almost unseen in the public eye. “In the media everywhere, we focus on the white trans masculine. We need more visibility, for sure. Our community is very exclusive towards queer/trans people of colour.”

Gandier understands Jonsa’s dilemma with having breasts. “I’ve always felt uncomfortable in my body, especially my chest. When I started binding, it all made more sense. I felt way better.” Gandier is open to the idea of top surgery or a breast reduction if the opportunity is there, but they aren’t set on anything just yet. “I’m continuing to learn more about myself. I’m finding that I’m still changing. Everyday I’m learning something new and learning to love my body as a trans individual.”

Gandier doesn’t think it’s impossible to love themselves for who they are, they just think it will take time.

Like most people who go through a difficult process, Gandier got by with love and support from their friends and family. “Having really awesome friends and family helped me accept myself. Having that support system really helps me feel confident. My friends compliment me every day.”

Lou Gandier Individual Identifies as a non-binary, queer/trans person of colour

The experiences shared by Moyer, Strong, Jonsa and Gandier give us a genuine glimpse at what it’s like to be gender nonconforming. It’s important to note that the gender spectrum has many shades and these are only four of them.

What are your thoughts and experiences with gender labels? Write to us via Facebook, email, or tweet @OutWords!

- Graeme Coleman is an editor with OutWords magazine.

March 2014 // www.outwords.ca // 19

OutWords // Entertainment

OUT FROM UNDER THE RUG THE WINNIPEG ART GALLERY BRINGS VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN TO THE PUBLIC EYE

By Anne Cote

Luz y Solidaridad, 2006, by Susan Plum. The 10-foot-tall brooms and accompanying video convey the message that no amount of sweeping can cleanse society of its complicity in allowing violence against women to be swept away and hidden under the rug.

A

new exhibit at the Winnipeg Art Gallery (WAG) is shining a spotlight on an issue many would find uncomfortable, but that we must face as a society: violence against women.

According to WAG curator Helen Delacretaz, the 32-piece Off The Beaten Path: Violence, Women and Art “has an affinity with some of the issues Winnipeg is experiencing.” It is an eclectic display of paintings, photography, sculpture, fabric art and videos that deals with a subject Winnipeggers are no strangers to.

But we are not alone in this. From Norway to Africa, on to Canada and the U.S., across the Pacific Ocean to China and Japan, the exhibit pulls together artists from more than 20 countries around the world. All of them have given substance and voice to the hidden and overt violence against the less powerful,

20 // March 2014 // www.outwords.ca

regardless of their culture, race, religion or gender. Off the Beaten Path specifically explores the rationalizations made by society and individuals for the pain and suffering inflicted on women and girls.

A small Inuit whale bone carving, which is part of the WAG collection, depicts a female slave pulling a man on a sled and is the artist’s lament over the inequality in his culture. In another work, gossamer panels hang from the ceiling, each imprinted with a shadowy female feature, imitating the invisibility of women in Korean society. Cut Piece, a 1965 video of Yoko Ono’s performance art representing dignity in the face of humiliation by others in society, is shown alongside an updated version she filmed in 2003.

Luz y Solidaridad, an array of black fibre brooms by Susan Plum brings the topic of

missing and murdered Mexican women to the forefront. Brooms are traditionally used to cleanse the temples and homes in the Mexican community, but as the accompanying video shows, no amount of sweeping can erase the fact that more than 1,000 women and girls living near the Texas border were murdered or went missing over the course a decade.

With all the women who have gone missing in Manitoba, art like this can really resonate with our community. According to Delacretaz, Off The Beaten Path is one example of how the WAG can play a role in raising social awareness.

Off The Beaten Path runs at the WAG until April 20. Discounted tickets are available for students and seniors.

- Anne Cote is a Winnipeg-based freelance writer.

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March 2014 // www.outwords.ca // 21

We Are Proud to Stand Up for all Manitobans

Jennifer Howard

Jim Rondeau

MLA for Fort Rouge MLA for Assiniboia 204-946-0272 204-888-7722 JenniferHoward.ca JimRondeau.mb.ca

Nancy Allan

MLA for St. Vital 204-237-8771 NancyAllan.ca

Ron Lemieux

MLA for Dawson Trail 204-878-4644 Ron-Lemieux.ca

Greg Selinger

MLA for St. Boniface Premier of Manitoba 204-237-9247 GregSelinger.ca

Dave Sharon Gaudreau Blady

MLA for St. Norbert MLA for Kirkfield Park 204-261-1794 204-832-2318 DaveGaudreau.ca SharonBlady.ca

Kevin Chief

Rob Altemeyer

MLA for Point Douglas MLA for Wolseley 204-775-8575 204-421-9126 KevinChief.ca RobAltemeyer.ca

OutWords // Entertainment

EXPANDING KIMIWAN FIRST NATIONS ZINE BRINGS SEXUAL HEALTH AND IDENTITY ISSUES TO WINNIPEG

OutWords // Entertainment

DOUBLE THE FUN WITH

PRIDE WINNIPEG THIS YEAR’S PRIDE FESTIVAL IS LONGER, BIGGER THAN EVER

By Rachel Morgan

T

By Meg Crane

T

he publication kimiwan ‘zine, a mini magazine for First Nations, Metis and Inuit people around the world, is coming to Winnipeg.

The zine is a collection of submissions of writing and art.

“Most of the submissions that we receive are on the topics of identity, decolonization, healing and family,” said managing editor Melody Wood, although she notes they encourage people to submit anything of personal importance. “It most definitely is uncensored space, but while we destroy negative stereotypes we must also - at the very least assist in, partner with, contribute and build relationships for indigenous community, positive indigenous identity, and the list goes on.” So far there hasn’t been much content submitted by Winnipeggers, which is partly why they’re coming to Union Sound Hall on March 22.

The release party for the indigenous publication’s sexual health and identity issue will feature Big Freedia, Namowan, Clash `N Cooks and Queerview.

This is a pretty big deal for kimiwan ‘zine, which has only

been around since December 2012. Founder Joi Arcand had been involved in creating RAIN zine with Radical Art in Nature when she lived in Vancouver.

After moving, she decided to create a similar publication with her cousin, Mika Lafond. kimiwan, which means rain in Plains Cree language, was meant to be a tribute to her time in B.C. and working with RAIN zine.

Arcand said the project became a collective this past summer when Wood, Jarita Greyeyes, Leah Arcand and Darryl Chamakese joined her. “We are a collective and as such, there are no bosses, we are creating leadership within the collective by working within our natural roles,” said Wood.

They all still have day jobs, but have managed to throw zine launch events in Saskatoon, Vancouver and now, Winnipeg.

Grab tickets for kimiwan ‘zine’s Winnipeg event from Music Trader, The Urban Bakery (TUB) or picatic.com. You can order copies of the zine from kimiwan-zine.com.

- Meg Crane is a writer and editor for OutWords magazine.

March 2014 // www.outwords.ca // 23

he folks who plan the 2014 Pride Winnipeg Festival have laid out an ambitious agenda for this year and are already working on more offerings for future years.

The festival will run from May 23 to June 1 and instead of a one-day event at The Forks this year there will be two days of entertainment.

The official Pride Parade will be held Sunday, June 1, but the Pride Forks Festival will be extended to include Saturday, May 30.

“The past couple of years, the Sunday festival at the Forks has been completely packed to the brim with people. We felt we needed to give it two days so we could offer more entertainment and people could have an option,” said Jonathan Niemczak, president of Pride Winnipeg. “We’re confident we can pull this off.”

The lineup of entertainers will be released this month.

Niemczak says the headliners will be crowd-pleasers. There will also be an expanded Queer Beer tent and more events adding to staples such as the Dyke March.

Pride Winnipeg has come a long way in the past decade, gaining greater acceptance in the city and with the business community, especially since moving the post-parade festivities from Memorial Park to the Forks, said Niemczak.

“We’re now seen as part of the larger community, no different than the Santa Claus Parade or Festival du Voyageur.”

But Pride is more than a chance to party. This year the official theme is “Without Borders.” It’s a reminder that despite great strides in recent years, equal rights are not universally enjoyed.

Queers are still hounded, prosecuted and killed in some countries.

Even in Manitoba, there is still work to do, said Niemczak.

“Bill 18 (the province’s anti-bullying legislation that also permits students to create GSAs) brought out a lot of homophobia, especially outside Winnipeg and it took a lot of people off guard.”

That homophobia is partly behind the Pride board’s plans for next year – an exhibit at the Forks detailing the history of the gay rights movement. “We need to explain why Pride is still necessary,” said Niemczak.

To keep up to date on information about the 2014 Pride Winnipeg Festival, please visit www.pridewinnipeg.com or www. facebook.com/PrideWinnipegFestival.

-Rachel Morgan is the former OutWords editor-in-chief and a member of our board of directors.

Inadequate medical care is a common complaint for the GLBTQ* community

T

he word “universal” in Canada’s health care plan rings hollow when we hear horror stories about GLBTQ* people who have bad experiences with doctors. Some GLBTQ* people receive inadequate medical care or are turned away because of doctors’ ignorance and assumptions — something Jeremy Barbosa knows all too well.

Last spring, Barbosa told his family doctor he wanted to transition from female to male.

After that, he would often leave the doctor’s office crying. “I definitely had a lot of extra dysphoria about myself because of the things he would say to me,” said Barbosa, a student at the University of Winnipeg completing the prerequisites for a veterinary program.

Barbosa’s doctor made him look in the mirror. He asked him what he saw. “I wasn’t sure how to answer and then he was like, don’t you think you’re a pretty girl?” Barbosa answered, “I guess,” but felt uncomfortable. “Obviously I don’t want to be a pretty girl. I want to be a handsome-looking young man.”

Barbosa’s experience with this doctor worsened when he talked about the possibility of receiving bottom surgery. “It’s something that I want. It’s something that will make me more comfortable with my body. But he just kept persisting with calling it mutilation.”

Barbosa’s bad experiences with medical professionals didn’t end there.

The doctor sent Barbosa to a gynecologist for a Pap test who assumed he was sexually active with men. “After it was done she asked me, ‘I thought you said you were sexually active. Why

24 // March 2014 // www.outwords.ca

OutWords // Lifestyle & Food

was it so painful for you?’” Barbosa told the gynecologist he’s only sexually active with women and she responded, “You should have told me that before we started because then you didn’t have to get it done.”

free mammogram after she found a strange growth in her breast, made international headlines after Blair was denied that mammogram because she was born a male. Some transgender men who have undergone breast

Barbosa’s doctor made him look in the mirror…

“I don’t want to be a pretty girl. I want to be a handsome-looking young man.” - Jeremy Barbosa However, Barbosa’s gynecologist was wrong. Women’s Health Matters, a Canadian website about women’s health, started campaigns promoting Pap tests for trans men and queer women precisely because of the “dangerous misconception that women who have sex with women don’t need Pap tests,” according to the website. Women or trans men who have sex with women are at a lower risk of HPV and cervical cancer, but are still at risk, according to CancerCare Manitoba. Their website states that anyone who has ever been sexually active (including oral sex, sex with toys, and sex with fingers) needs a Pap test every three years, starting at age 21.

This is just another one of the medical misconceptions around GLBTQ* health.

Considering Barbosa’s experiences, it’s no surprise that GLBTQ* people get screened less for cancer, which means they’re at higher risk of dying from the disease. The New York-based National LGBT Cancer Network reports that one-in-five transgender patients has been turned away by a health care provider. The experience of Jennifer Blair, a 62-year-old American woman who sought a

reduction instead of reconstruction may not know they should undergo breast-screening mammograms, as well.

Bradley Tyler-West, a service provider trainer in human sexuality, helps educate medical professionals about GLBTQ* topics for Sexuality Education Resource Centre Manitoba. His training sessions address assumptions that gay men have HIV or Syphilis, and that lesbians don’t need pregnancy options. But even though his training sessions take us a step forward, he believes that medical associations should make GLBTQ* education a requirement for health care professionals. “There is still a minimization (of) the complexity of human sexuality and they think that, ‘OK, we did a one-hour presentation, they’re good to go.’ They need to do a lot more.”

To ensure people are getting the care they need, Tyler-West recommended researching GLBTQ*-friendly clinics and asking questions or voicing concerns to a health care professional. “But we understand that disclosure is risky. And if a person has had historical bad experiences with the health care system, then they’re going to carry that

past experience.” He added that past experiences might stop people from opening up to their doctor.

Tyler-West said he hasn’t had a bad experience with a doctor because he has always gone to Klinic Community Health Centre.

Klinic has a transgender health program and family physicians trained in GLBTQ* topics.

Ian Whetter, a physician in the transgender health program at Klinic, said a big problem with how healthcare professionals treat GLBTQ* people are the assumptions they make. “The testing that we do, or the line of questioning that we do, is universal.

We should make no assumption about anybody’s sexual orientation, sexual behaviour, or gender identity,” he said.

Whetter said he thinks about behaviour and risk factor regardless of a person’s gender identity or sexual orientation. “For example, if you have a cervix, then it needs to be screened for cervical cancer. If you have a prostate, then you have to be screened for prostate cancer after you pass a certain age.”

If you experience discrimination from healthcare professionals, Whetter recommends contacting the College of Physicians and Surgeons Manitoba. Physicians at Klinic Community Health Centre are available as family doctors for those who are in the catchment. Call (204) 784-4090 to find out if you live within the catchment.

Do you have an experience with medical professionals that you would like to share?

Tweet @OutWords, email us, or message us on Facebook.

- Danelle Cloutier is the music editor of OutWords

By Danelle Cloutier

March 2014 // www.outwords.ca // 25

OutWords // Columns & Opinion

CONSOLE

WARS CONTINUE

TECH COLUMN

COREY SHEFMAN

New releases heat up the battle for the tv gamer, but no one may be watching

T

his past holiday season saw the release of the latest generation of gaming consoles: Microsoft’s Xbox One and Sony’s Playstation 4 (PS4). They were released with much fanfare, although with few tailor-made games. More so than in past generations, the release of these systems has sparked discussion about the future of gaming technology and the value of the new systems.

The previous generation of consoles saw the introduction of a number of groundbreaking technologies, like the Nintendo Wii’s motion sensor, and a huge jump in storage and graphics processing power. The improvements promised by the Xbox One and PS4 are more modest.

Both systems are said to bring a 10 per cent boost to processing power, which will allow developers to add more detailed textures and physics to their games. A welcome development from the last generation is the addition of motion sensors to both systems, although you’ll have to pay $60 on top of the PS4’s $400 price tag to get Sony’s Camera, while Microsoft’s Kinect comes with the system.

But the real question is whether these new systems are worth the cost of a decent home computer. Our comparison may help you make a decision.

GRAPHICS The true hallmark of a good gaming console is its graphics. Nintendo 64 was a massive leap over its predecessor, Super Nintendo; the PS3 set a new standard, blowing the PS2 out of the water. While this generation of consoles doesn’t have the same explosive advance in graphics quality, the increased processing power will give 26 // March 2014 // www.outwords.ca

developers the ability to do the detail work that in previous consoles would have slowed the whole system down.

The best way to describe it is that your gaming environments will feel more natural – smoke, light and water will all react more naturally to your interactions with them and these improved textures will combine to make your gaming more immersive and realistic. But if you’re already playing the Xbox 360 or PS3, don’t expect to be amazed by what you see.

GAMES As is more or less standard now, most games (or equivalents) will continue to be released for both platforms. The real issue for long-time gamers with both of these systems is their lack of “backwards-compatibility”. In the past, you have almost always been able to play your games from earlier systems on the newer generation of consoles. The graphics and gameplay wouldn’t be any better than before, but if you liked the classic games, this compatibility meant that you could upgrade without rendering obsolete hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars worth of games from earlier systems.

Neither the Xbox One nor the PS4 is backwards-compatible, meaning that gamers who want to continue enjoying their classic games need to either keep their old systems, or sacrifice those fan favourites in the name of upgrades.

Cynical cash grab from the game companies wanting players to buy more games? Or question of efficiency from the console developers wanting to minimize the cost and size of their machines? I’ll leave it to you to decide.

THE VERDICT: Keep your old consoles (if you have them), at least until game developers start releasing games built to the higher specs of the new system. If you absolutely have to upgrade, or want to start console gaming, the choice is up to you – both systems have great specs and look to be maintained for quite a while.

But please, for the sake of geeks everywhere, stay away from the Wii U. – Corey Shefman is a geek, and proud of it.

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OutWords // Columns & Opinion

EVERY CITY HAS ITS GAY COMPILED BY ERIC PLAMONDON

W

WARMTH WITHIN WINTER WATERING HOLES

e often wonder if life is better elsewhere, or how Winnipeg compares to other cities, especially at the tail end of a brutal winter. This month, we find winter comfort in drinking establishments in Winnipeg; St. John, New Brunswick; and Zurich, Switzerland.

These are but a few examples of the variety of spots out there serving as examples that every city has its gays, trying to live socially active and interesting lives.

The legion offers a game of shuffleboard, sans hat

Classic drinks and classic attire in Switzerland’s watering “hole”

By Eric Plamondon

By Ian Robertson

W INNIPEG - Our Winnipeg winter lexicon includes windchill, thermal underwear, block heaters and many other reminders of Winnipeg’s cold, cold, cold (yes its worth repeating three times) winter climate. But we are still hot-blooded creatures, so we seek places to interact with others. We just don’t want it to be too far from home.

The solution is the community pub, a place that lets us drink a pint of dark ale, in a warm place with friends and neighbours, while we let winter rage on outside. Unfortunately, Winnipeg doesn’t have a strong culture of mixed-income and use neighbourhood pubs. But we do have branches of the Royal Canadian Legion.

Legions have a long history of supporting veterans, their families and friends. But they do require you to sign in if you are not a member, to avoid swearing and to take off your hat. The trade-off for these small concessions are pints of beer at $4.50, various TVs that carry the night’s most popular hockey game, pool tables, dart boards, a monthly meat draw (yes, you read that correctly), and the rare gem that is shuffleboard.

People of all walks of life come to the Legion to enjoy a pint or two, followed often by a game of shuffleboard. If you don’t know the rules, they will be posted by the picture of the men who earned the Cross of Valour. The instructions are free, and so is the butt pinching, which may come from a great-aunt character or a cute hipster.

Either way, someone pinching my long-johns-supported ass is most welcomed.

Find your local legion at www.legion.ca/who-we-are/branch-locator.

28 // March 2014 // www.outwords.ca

ZURICH, Switzerland - Though Zurich may not have the super-subzero temperatures of the Canadian prairies, nonetheless, in winter it’s a pretty good idea to find yourself indoors. And the worldwide solution seems to be, at least for those of-age, that very perfect drinking hole.

In Switzerland’s biggest city, though, it’s not so much a “hole.”

In fact, it’s probably one of the most elegant bars you’d come across anywhere: the Kronenhalle. Cosied up next to an upscale dining hall, accessing the Kronenhalle bar from the street is done via an unusually inconspicuous wooden door. Use a bit of muscle; it’s heavy.

Once you’re inside, the view is absolutely picture-perfect. Whitejacketed bar staff, wood-panelled walls, and a variety of glassware to match its classic drinks menu. But it’s not flashy. What makes it comfortable, and even somewhat unpretentious, is that every detail from the way you’re spoken to, to the quality of your cocktail, is treated as if that’s just how to do it. You’re simply in a place that is doing things the way they ought to be done.

The place does have its heritage. Taken over by Gottlieb and Hulda Zumsteg in 1924, it became a meeting spot for artists, writers and the cultural elite - Coco Chanel, Yves Saint Laurent, James Joyce and Picasso. And some are still hanging around; Picasso’s work is displayed on the wall, along with other famous artists’ work.

That heavy wooden door isn’t just a way into a bar. For Kronenhalle, it’s a bit of an access point to something seemingly private, but welcoming: a miniature art-world paradise without a gallery cover-charge.

For more information, visit www.kronenhalle.ch

OutWords // Music

A proper wine list and modern decor in the heart of historical St. John

By Darren McLeod

SAINT JOHN, New Brunswick - Tucked below street level is a subterranean boîte on Princess Street called Happinez – a little bar with lots of wine. It is an oasis on a cool, damp and slushy winter night, brought on by the ever-changing weather of the Bay of Fundy.

Situated in one of the many fine examples of late Victorian architecture that rose out of the great fire of 1877, Happinez creates a big-city-hidden-gem feel in a relatively modest-sized urban community. Proprietor Peter Smit created the wine bar in 2005 after 20 years in the hospitality industry. A plethora of wines by the glass or bottle makes it a premium spirit nirvana for any gay

resident or visitor to the city’s Uptown, which is actually downtown – another anomaly of this eastcoast city.

To access Happinez, you must step below the sidewalk on the vertically-challenged Princess Street into a cellar space with large stone grey walls and recessed lighting.

Long cushioned benches line the wall, with low slung blond wood tables adding an extra touch of cool to this small, but welcoming den of liquid delights.

Happinez attracted a following as one of the first proper wine bars in Atlantic Canada. If you want to get to know the locals or find out what’s happening in this community, then this bar is your space. Whether you are a friend or a “come from away,” this venue welcomes everyone with the same warmth and urban sophistication. All sense it’s just right, nestled in the historical heart of this historical costal town. In many ways, Happinez is making its own history by giving a contemporary life to a historical gem.

For more information, visit www.happinezwinebar.com.

204.985.9200 OUTNABOUTTRAVEL.COM

March 2014 // www.outwords.ca // 29

OutWords // Columns & Opinion

MEETING THE

Three AMIGOS SPIRITUALITY

RAY BUTEAU

The group welcomes a new friend, and learns a lesson in respect

U

pon entering the coffee shop, Robert buys a coffee and spots the now-three amigos. He greets Danny and Tom and their mutual friend Jan. “It’s nice to meet you Jan, I’ve been looking forward to speaking with the three of you about your relationships. But before we start, can I ask how the three of you met?”

“We are all members of the Pride committee, which is all about being out in the world, and we really enjoy being together,” says Jan. “Which explains how Danny found himself at the front of your Pride rainbow float,” says Robert.

“Danny quickly staked out his spot on the float,” Jay agrees.

Danny interrupts with a smile, “I’m sure you want to add something to that, don’t you, Robert?”

“Unless someone says something different from what we are all thinking – no need,” Robert smiles back.

“I think I’m going to enjoy these coffee breaks,” Jan adds.

Robert then says, “Anything’s possible once we have at least one other person to tell our story to and to know that we can trust them with it.”

Seemingly anxious to get on topic, Tom says, “So where do we start?”

Robert begins by saying, “For the three of you to survive through any hurtful words, instances of jealousy, misunderstandings, disappointments, or

30 // March 2014 // www.outwords.ca

personality quirks, what is the key word that will keep the three of you sensitive and compassionate to each other?”

“That was an easy question,” Danny responds. “Money.”

With all eyes glaring at Danny in disbelief, Jan asks Danny, “So if we knew you didn’t have any spending money, Tom and I wouldn’t want to be friends with you?”

“Without responding to that yet,” Robert asks, “I would like to ask the three of you for the keyword that is so important in your relationships.”

Jan responds with “forgiveness.”

“That will often be necessary,” adds Robert, “but something is necessary for any sort of relationship to last.”

“Robert, give us a break, we really do like each other,” Tom blurts out.

“When I met with you, Danny, the keyword of our talks was ‘acceptance’. And when I met with you, Tom, the key word in our talks was ‘gratitude’. And now with the three of you, there is a keyword that each of you requires from each other.”

“Something tells me that my answer was wrong,” Danny says with his usual grin.

“Actually, Danny,” Robert explains, “many pretend and manipulate each other for the sole reason of using their money, or to attract others to themselves, which goes totally against the word that I’m looking for.”

“How does anyone know who to trust?”

Tom asks.

“Trust your gut feeling, Tom,” Robert says, “and remember the keyword in your relationship: ‘respect’. If the three of you can

respect each other, you won’t play games with each other. You’ll trust the confidence and sincerity of what you say to each other.”

“And when we hurt another’s feelings?”

Jan asks.

“That’s when your respect for the other challenges you to ask to be forgiven or to clarify your words,” Robert responds. “And if the other is respectful of you, they will accept your apology and move on.”

“And if they don’t?” Jan insists.

“Then you have a choice to make, to either forgive in your heart and move on from a painful experience in which respect was denied, or to allow the negative energies of hurt, regret and anger to fester within you,” Robert adds soberly.

“Man, this is heavy,” Danny adds softly, “I sure could use another coffee right now.”

“And if you’re wondering if Danny is just joking,” adds Robert, “your friendship and respect for each other will allow you to be open, yet kind and sensitive with each other, knowing that you wouldn’t willingly hurt each other, out of respect for each other.”

“Does all that mean I’m paying for my own coffee?” Danny asks, causing the group to break out in laughter.

“Danny,” Robert adds, “I’ll see you next time for our coffee together, and I’ll pay.”

- Ray Buteau is a former Catholic priest and author of the book No Longer Lonely. You can visits Ray’s website at www.raybuteausweb.com.

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