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sk moms how 4. Give directions to raise a good in small steps. listener, and For the younger set, you’ll be met with a general instructions variety of responses. like, “Please clean your Some, like Eva Gavin, room” can be overwill laugh out loud and whelming. Instead, say, “If you write about ask her first to put all kids who ignore their of her stuffed aniparents all the time, mals in the box in the I’m your woman.” Othcloset. Then ask her ers may tell you they to hang up her shirts. have it all together Then have her put all and that their children the dolls on her bed. always listen to them Kids love that they and do everything they can do something for say (don’t trust these themselves and please women!). you at the same time. So many of us are at Instead of saying, a loss when it comes “pick up the living to teaching listening room”, Jill Connors skills. Parents are busasks her smaller kids ier than ever, and that to pick up 10 toys each By Kerrie McLoughlin can sometimes make and put them in the toy it difficult to just stop bin. When they are done, she asks them how many more and listen to our children. Yet making sure you raise your they think it will take to clear the floor. The counting child to be a good listener is crucial for many reasons. For example, he needs to be able to follow directions at practice is invaluable, and the room is clean in no time. school, in college and at a job. He also needs the practiced 5. Consistency counts. If you are a parent who skill of listening to make and keep friends, snag a spouse threatens and never follows through, watch out because and deal with a variety of people in everyday life. your child is watching what you say and do. If you say So how do you become one of those moms whose chilthere will be no allowance for skipping chores, then dren don’t tune her out? don’t pay allowance that week. Then make sure you 1. Humor works wonders. Tresa Cope says, “When have the same consequence if it happens again. I want to get my 4-year-old’s attention, I randomly insert 6. Show your appreciation. Thanking your child the word ‘chocolate’ into whatever I’m saying. As in, ‘put for being a good listener when he does something you your chocolate shoes on, NOW, please’. Sometimes he asked him to is a great way to show him that listening giggles at my misuse of the word; sometimes he makes me really does matter and that you notice what he does. pay up with chocolate-covered raisins.”
Raising a Good Listener
2. Practice reading comprehension. When you finish reading your child a story, ask her random questions about it. You can also ask her to summarize the story for you. If you’re reading a bedtime book that takes many nights to finish, ask your child what she thinks might happen the next night in the story.
3. Listen to your child. If you want your child to pay attention to what you are saying, practice listening. Turn off the radio in the car and hear what your child wants to tell you about his day. Most importantly, don’t interrupt. Look him in the eye when he’s talking to you so he knows you are present and paying attention. Parents, this is a hard one, so you have to practice often. It’s easy to mumble a bunch of “mm, hmms” when your child is telling you about an artistic creation or about a kid at school, so put the dishes down and just listen.
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Boston Parents Paper | June 2020
Listening Games • Simon Says • Red Light, Green Light • Opposites (you say a word and your child acts out the opposite) • Guessing game (give several clues, like, “I’m thinking of an animal that lives at the zoo.” then “The animal is gray.”) • Scavenger hunt (tell your child 2 things to find in the house and bring them back to you, working your way up to 10 items) ² Kerrie McLoughlin (TheKerrieShow.com) happily homeschools her 5 kids in the country.
