Kiwiparent Issue #279 - August 2017 - September 2017 by Parents Centres New Zealand Inc

RRP $7.50 (incl GST)

SUPPORTING PARENTS THROUGH THE EARLY YEARS

AUGUST 2017 – SEPTEMBER 2017

279

Express delivery Helping mums breastfeed for longer

Mummy guilt

Beat the back to work blues

Raising

digital natives It’s not what we do, it's how we do it

Hey Dad,

take care of yourself Men’s health is worth looking after

Settling to sleep

Don’t bow to unrealistic pressure

ALSO INSIDE:

The magazine of Parents Centre New Zealand Inc

Parenting tips • Childbirth • Dad's Blog • Breastfeeding • Lifestyle • Family health

18 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 20 AUGUST ASB Showgrounds, Auckland

Sponsored by

We are at the

Babyshow Come and see us on stand H33 and find out more about what it means to be a Parents Centre Member. Having a new baby is a time of significant change, your brain is working overtime with questions, your body is going through amazing changes. Its quite a journey.

Pregnancy, Childbirth and Parent Education (Antenatal) – essential information to prepare you for childbirth and early parenting.

Parents Centres has been supporting parents for 65 years. Become a member of Parents Centre and we can support you too! You’ll get access to quality pregnancy, childbirth and parent education that will help you gain invaluable knowledge and learning on your pregnancy, childbirth and early parenting journey. It’s a great way to meet other new parents that are on the same journey as you. They often become life long friends. You get support through coffee groups that meet on a regular basis and ongoing education programmes to help you navigate the stages of pregnancy and parenthood.

Baby and You – practical and sensible tips and advice for enjoying and making the most of those first months with your newborn.

With 47 Centres nationwide, we provide many opportunities for social engagement for both parents and children. Many of our Centres offer playgroups and music classes and these are a great way to learn with your children and you get to socialise with other parents at the same time. As a Parents Centre member you will receive a loads of free giveaways and samples as well as special discount shopping days, discounted products and services exclusive to Parents Centre members. Who doesn’t love freebies and discounts!

Parenting with Purpose – consciously focusing on how you want to parent and how your child ticks. Return to Work – advice for preparing and returning to the paid workforce. Magic Moments – strategies for positive communication and discipline with your child. Moving and Munching – exploring baby's first foods and developmental stages. Music and Movement – stimulating music activities for your baby and toddler. Tinies to Tots – positively encouraging your emerging adventurous toddler.

Many of our members gain so much from being a Parents Centre member that they want to ‘give back’ and become volunteers for their local Centre, ensuring that new parents can continue to benefit from the skills, knowledge, friendships and support they’ve received. You also gain skills and experience that will be a real asset when you decide to rejoin the workforce. We look forward to having you join our Parents Centre family and supporting you on your parenting journey!

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Photo Credit: Baby Lila from Wellington. Belinda Carr Photography www.belindacarr.co.nz

Special Features

Features

Express delivery

Babyshow 2017.................................................................................. 1

Helping mums to breastfeed for longer................................... 8–13

Mummy guilt The team at Porse........................................................................14–17

It’s not what we do

Letters to the Editor....................................................................4–5 Product pages ................................................................................6–7

Miranda Young...............................................................................18–22

Be a star for a day

Crises can happen

Huggies cover star competition.......................................................28

Terri McGuire and Sharon Pearce.............................................24–27

Reaching out to centres

Mind over matter

Terri McGuire and Sharon Pearce.............................................26–27

Ben Tafau.........................................................................................34–38

Hey Dad, take care of yourself Tackling men’s health issues......................................................30–33

Settling to sleep

Parents Centre Pages.............................................................39–43 Find a centre.....................................................................................44

Pinky McKay...................................................................................46–48

Sweet dreams....................................................................................50

A growing family business

Fussy foodies

Louise Tanguay..............................................................................66–67

Hannah Gentile..............................................................................52–55

Don’t eat that!

Justo So international family festival comes to New Zealand................................................................72

National Poisons Centre..............................................................58–61

Election 2017

Winners................................................................................................73

Why should we care?..................................................................62–63

Put your best foot forward First footwear.................................................................................64–65

Budget savvy toddler spaces Leila Malthus..................................................................................68–71

kiwiparent – supporting kiwi parents through the early years

Partners.........................................................................................74–75 Shopping Cart ..........................................................................76–78 Giveaways .........................................................................................80

SUPPORTING PARENTS THROUGH THE EARLY YEARS

AUGUST 2017 – SEPTEMBER 2017

279

Reach for the stars fom your own back yard

It’s not what we do, it’s how we do it Kiwi kids are growing up as digital natives, often with parents who didn’t have access to technology until they were well into their late teens or even adulthood. What is clear though, is that modern parents need knowledge to parent positively in the digital society in which their children are growing up.

Settling to sleep You have finally made it beyond the letter-box with your newborn. You are feeling pretty proud of yourself for getting out and about for the first time, but then some dear old lady spies your baby and, as she peers into your pram, she can’t resist asking, "Is he a good baby?" Then that dreaded next question, "Does he sleep all night?"

Fussy foodies Fussy eating, much like many other challenges children throw at us, is really just another developmental milestone, although it is rarely seen as such. As with other milestones, if not harnessed for the power of good, it can lead to some pretty negative consequences. Prolonged fussy eating can cause nutritional deficiency, behavioural issues, slowed developmental progress, delayed speech, poor sleeping and more.

Kiwiparent – Since 1954 the magazine of Parents Centres New Zealand Inc Editor

Leigh Bredenkamp Ph (04) 472 1193 Fax (04) 938 6242 Mobile (0274) 572 821 leighb@e–borne.co.nz PO Box 28 115, Kelburn, 6150

Editorial Enquiries Ph (04) 233 2022 or (04) 472 1193 info@e–borne.co.nz

Advertising Sales

Taslim Parsons Ph (04) 233 2022 x8804 Mobile 021 1860 323 t.parsons@parentscentre.org.nz

Design

edendesign.co.nz

Proofing

Emma Adams

Subscriptions

info@parentscentre.org.nz

Publisher

Viv Gurrey, Chief Executive Officer, Parents Centres New Zealand Inc Ph (04) 233 2022 Opinions expressed in the magazine do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of the publisher. Advertising in this magazine does not imply endorsement by Parents Centres. Generally material in this publication may be reproduced provided it is used for non-commercial purposes and the source is acknowledged. However, written permission must be sought from the editor. Kiwiparent is proud to support the WHO/UNICEF International Code of Marketing of Breastmilk Substitutes adopted by the World Health Assembly in 1981.

ISSN 1173–7638

If we are lucky, as we cope with the daily slog of raising a family and making a living, we meet or hear about people who inspire us. This could be a figure of international acclaim – a politician with integrity, a humble religious figure, a great author or composer whose words and music have lived on long after they have died. Or it may a family member or someone in the community whom we admire and wish to emulate. I have been fortunate in my journey through life to encounter several such people who have inspired me. At school there was an uncompromising nun who taught me that people of all races and cultures are of equal value – a brave thing to do in apartheid South Africa. At university I met people who put principles of equality and peace at the heart of everything they did, even when this placed them in great personal danger. When I had children, I met with other parents who would sacrifice anything to give their children the best start in life they possibly could. Mothers who were brave enough to walk away from dysfunctional relationships so that their children would not suffer. Dads who did a fantastic job of raising their children alone at a time when there were few support systems in place for them. And then there are children who inspire simply by existing. When our daughter was gravely ill in hospital with meningitis when she was only five, her fear and anxiety was eased by a little boy who had suffered a series of strokes and was wheelchair bound. He would visit her, stroke her hair and caress her hand where the drip was inserted. He could not speak, but always grinned reassuringly and gave her a cheery thumbs up. The presence of this smiling child was a blessing in a place full of pain and anxiety. Our daughter thankfully recovered, but the little boy died from another massive stroke. I still remember him more than three decades later. There is a growing cynicism with political leadership around the world – far too many countries exist with the threat of daily violence and conflict, famine is again ravishing Africa and terrorism cuts to the hearts of communities. But in the midst of the toll of everyday tragedies, everyday heroes can be found. The strangers who help out after natural disasters, communities that band together in London to support the bereaved and displaced after the Grenfell Tower disaster. And in the everyday life of families around the country, there are volunteers keeping their local Parents Centres going – organising parent education classes and coffee groups, putting out the toys for the playgroup and running fundraisers to pay for childbirth education classes. They are heroes in their communities and we are richer because of all they do. I hope you are lucky enough to encounter people who enrich your life and inspire you to reach for the stars in your own back yard. Leigh Bredenkamp

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letters to the editor Congratulations to the top letter winner, Jo Vipond from Cambridge, who will win a prize pack from Natural Instincts.

The winning letter receives the complete Natural Instinct face care range, truly natural skincare products with active anti-ageing plant-based ingredients and 100% free from over 400 potentially harmful ingredients to you and the environment. Available from leading pharmacies. RRP $102.

Top letter

of local organisations. Franny from Breastmates joined us with some end-of-line bargains, which drew a crowd of it’s own! We had Plunket, La Leche League and Baby on the Move join us. One of our past presidents took over the café and sold secondhand books to fundraise for her daughter, who needs medical treatment.

Creating connections in Cambridge The Cambridge Parents Centre committee had a busy couple of months planning and organising our fundraising “Bonanza”. This has been a longstanding event on our calendar, as a sale of preloved baby, children and maternity gear, toys, and nursery equipment. This year, with a relatively new committee, we expanded the idea to try and incorporate local businesses and organisations with an interest in pregnancy, babies and children to showcase what Cambridge has to offer! We had such a fantastic response – we had tables stacked up high with quality gear and a great range

Top Letter prize

kiwiparent – supporting kiwi parents through the early years

Outside we had a bouncy castle, which kept most of our toddlers entertained. This was kindly sponsored by Cambridge Family Health medical centre, who also joined us on the day and had a table selling some clothes and providing health information to local families. On top of that we had exciting raffle prizes and sold a whole heap of Jaffa Race tickets as well! It was an exhausting weekend but our little committee was so proud of themselves. I am in awe of how the lovely ladies on my committee worked so hard to achieve this – THANK YOU! We have also been working hard to utilise the skills of our past president, who is a qualified instructor for pregnancy and postnatal exercise. Julie has been running a regular class at her gym, but to try and allow for a wider audience Cambridge Parents Centre have worked with the team at the new Avantidrome to use their fantastic facilities in Cambridge. “Buggyfit” will be a once weekly exercise class for anyone who wants to keep active – with a bump or a buggy!! Jo Vipond, Cambridge

The way we were An extract from 'The Trouble With Women' The Story of Parents Centre New Zealand By Mary Dobbie Published by Cape Catley Limited.

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Both Christine Cole and Helen Brew acknowledged the need for action [more information for parents about natural childbirth]. The form it should take began to crystallize as they talked – classes for expectant mothers, (already taking place in Helen Brew’s hospitable home), an information centre, an informed pressure group, This was the first of many heady planning sessions in Wellington, sometimes held at the Brews’ home, sometimes at the Coles’ more central house. It was a busy, stimulating time. Helen’s drive and energy made anything seem possible. Helen and Quentin Brew and Christine Cole were the nucleus of what was now called the Natural Childbirth Group, an entity that was fast gathering others around it. An invitation to the Brews’ home was an opportunity to talk with people of liberal and innovative mind. They were people like Dr Cecily and Dr John Pickerill of the Bassam Hospital for infant plastic surgery, and Dr Eric Burnard, a pediatrician of advanced ideas. “His was the only surgery where you’d find playthings for the kids.” Then there were Crawford and Gwen Somerset and Gwen’s sister, Joy Alley, tutor in Obstetrics at the Post-Graduate School of Nursing; Ray Stroobant, lecturer in education and chairman of the Association of Early Childhood Studies; and Bruce Mason, actor and playwright, and his obstetrician wife, Dr Diana Mason, sympathetic to the ideas of the Natural Childbirth Group. Helen’s circle of friends included actors, Quentin’s educationalists, and Christine’s writers and broadcasters. Helen’s many talks to women’s meetings were bearing fruit in inquiries from women wanting to know how best they could prepare for natural childbirth. How indeed other than by reading? And there were few bookshops stocking Helen Heardman and Grantly Dick-Read. An information centre with a library of relevant overseas literature began to take priority in the plans of the Natural Childbirth Group, since formal classes seemed a long way off. In December 1951, a group gathered at the Brew home. The object of the meeting was to form an information centre to meet the demand for natural childbirth information and to assist mothers in pregnancy until doctors, realising the importance of accurate information, “took over the job that was rightly theirs”. The centre would provide lists of cooperative doctors, domiciliary midwives and nursing homes. A file of case histories would be kept along with books and pertinent articles. Mothers who had succeeded in natural childbirth would teach relaxation and exercises to others in their district. No mother, the group decided, would be taught without the approval of her doctor. 

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Connect with parents at your stage, discuss with others, find local babysitting and coffee groups!

Access a wealth of helpful resources – TIPS, INFO, PRODUCT REVIEWS, CONTACTS, NEWS & more

Interact and ask questions, give answers, share your story or knowledge with forums.

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Look for a short extract from this iconic book in each issue of Kiwiparent. It details the struggle women and men had to persuade hearts and minds to adopt a less medicalised approach to childbirth and child-rearing in the 1950s.

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product information page Premium merino wool socks and tights from Lamington Proudly made in New Zealand from fine merino wool, Lamington offer premium merino wool socks and tights for the whole family. The Lamington knee-high range are renowned for staying up and staying on, the perfect substitute for booties and a gorgeous fashion statement for older children. New to the range are the sweetest teeny-tiny prem sizes and merino tights which provide an extra wool layer on chilly winter days. WARNING, Lamingtons are highly addictive! www.lamington.co.nz

The Original and Best Fidget Cube™ Flip, Glide, Click, Spin, Roll, Breathe. The Fidget Cube is as small as a dice, which keeps your hands busy without making noise or distracting anyone. Each face of the cube has an ‘activity’ to occupy your body while your mind can remain focused and concentrate on something else. For the stress heads, the fidgets at school or home and for the lovers of the tactile…this gadget is for you! RRP: $14.99 Available from The Warehouse, Farmers, Whitcoulls and Kmart. www.zuru.com

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Travelling with kids just got a lot easier! Plane Pal is a custom-designed inflatable cushion that fills the previously wasted space between your child’s seat and the seat in front. It creates a flat surface to either lay flat and (hopefully) sleep OR to extend the legs whilst sitting up. Plane Pal can also be used on trains, buses and cars. RRP: Full kit $89.95 (including pillow, pump & bag), pillow only $79.95 www.planepal.co.nz

BECAUSE EVERY DROP OF BREAST MILK COUNTS A perfect gift from Nurture Box Nurture Box offers gift boxes filled with beautifully constructed toys or books designed to excite, educate, and inspire little kids. A perfect gift for a baby shower, toddler’s birthday, or as a Christmas present. Each box is a mix of the best quality New Zealand and internationally crafted products. We offer a subscription service, so you can deliver wonder to that special child year round. www.nurturebox.co.nz

Award winning self-warming feeder from yoomi At the touch of a button, yoomi warms baby’s feed to the natural temperature of breast milk in just 60 seconds! The award winning range was designed to make feeding time safer and easier for parents at home or on the go: Perfect for mums who express Ideal for feeding on the go

Introducing making life simple for mums who express Our Express and Go range makes everything easier. By using a single pouch to EXPRESS, STORE, WARM and FEED, there’s no need to transfer breastmilk between bottles so you’ll never lose a precious drop!

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THE LATEST INNOVATION IN BREAST PUMPS

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A Hands-free, Concealable The old maxim ‘breast is best’ is one you hear a lot as a new mum. And for a good reason, because good old Mother Nature has given you the most nutritional and beneficial source of food you can give your new baby. Breast milk. Your breast milk contains all the key nutrients and vitamins your baby will need during the first six months of their life. Which is why it gets a five-star rating from health experts. Breast milk also has many ingredients that can help a baby stay healthy, such as disease-fighting antibodies that are proven to protect your baby from colds, infections and build up their immune system. Even better, breast milk has been shown to have long-term benefits for your little one, which will last well into adulthood. These include reducing their chances of developing type 2 diabetes and preventing weight-related problems such as obesity. But that’s just for starters. Breastfeeding is highly beneficial for mums too. Studies have shown that it can lower your risk of breast and ovarian cancer, osteoporosis, cardiovascular disease and obesity.

The only breast pumping system that allows you to double pump with your shirt on and your hands free

And the longer you breastfeed, the greater the protection it offers. Of course, there may be times when you might not be able to breastfeed. In which case, you can always express your breast milk and feed your baby from an SNS (supplemental nursing system), dropper, cup or bottle. Expressing milk ensures that your baby will enjoy all the benefits of your breast milk, and gives you more freedom and flexibility. Many mums find expressing their milk makes it easier for them to go back to work, or allows them to have the odd night out. It also means your partner can take care of some of the meal times – especially the ones in the middle of the night, so you can catch up on some sleep.

Breast milk contains all the key nutrients and vitamins your baby needs Continued overleaf...

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serving your little one breast milk, the better it is for both of you. There are numerous reasons a mum may need to express. You may have a premature baby or a baby with physical conditions such as cleft palate. You may be hospitalised with a serious illness or be returning to work or study. Expressing milk will provide your baby with food as well as keep your milk production going.

Here are some tips from La Leche League to help you pump more effectively and avoid tissue damage: Start gradually with the least amount of suction to get you started. Make sure your nipple is in the centre of the flange, and that the flange is the right size. Gradually increase the suction level. Find a place where you can relax and have some privacy. Stress can inhibit your ‘let down’. It may help your ‘let down’ to have a photo of your baby nearby or something containing their scent. Massage and jiggle your breasts before starting to encourage milk flow, or take a break midway and massage/jiggle both sides. Try not to watch the clock; feel your breasts to see if they are lighter and softer’. Image c/o Philips Avent, rights reserved 2017

It shouldn’t be difficult Expressing shouldn’t be hard to do – all you need is a breast pump and time to practice. Whether you go with a manual or an electric pump is up to you, but generally if you’re going to be expressing frequently, it might be worth investing in an electric pump. As it can take up to 30 minutes to express a bottle in one sitting, choosing a pump that allows you to sit upright will make it easier and more comfortable for you, which will, in turn, enable you to express

more milk. If you’re going to be switching between breastfeeding and bottle feeding, it’s a good idea to go for bottles that have more natural breast-shaped teats. That way it’ll make it easier for your baby to latch on. Ultimately, breast milk provides your baby with the best start in life. If you have a medical or work related reason why you cannot fully breastfeed, then combining breastfeeding and expressing is the perfect recipe for successfully feeding your baby breast milk for longer. The longer you can keep

If using a single pump, you may need to express each breast more than once to remove the milk. After you’ve finished pumping, spend a minute hand-expressing to get out the last drops. Every bit increases your output and thus your supply. It’s best to talk to friends about what worked for them or talk to a La Leche League Leader or lactation consultant who can also provide information about how often you might need to pump depending on your circumstances. Expressing milk is invaluable to many mums and certainly supports the breastfeeding relationship in a variety of circumstances.

Continued overleaf...

10 kiwiparent – supporting kiwi parents through the early years

Your essential breastfeeding companion Breast milk is, without doubt, best for your babyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s start in life. Our range of breast pumps are designed to help you in your breastfeeding journey, making it easier and as comfortable as possible to give your baby all the goodness of your breast milk for longer.

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Image c/o Philips Avent, rights reserved 2017

When you’re comfortable and relaxed, your milk ducing...flows easily

your milk flow. During pumping, it gently compresses the breast, mimicking baby’s suckling for natural let down and clinically proven effectiveness. When switched on, our electric pump automatically starts in gentle stimulation mode to get your milk flowing. Then choose from three pumping settings to make the milk flow in the most comfortable way for you.

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the Philips Avent Comfort Breast Pumps, which will allow you to sit in a comfortable position when expressing, with no need to lean for ect will f r o forward. Sitting up straight still e h p w ms ss from mudirectly allow the milk to ﬂow e r exp the breast into the container. This expressing position helps mothers feel more comfortable and, as a result, express more milk naturally.

The manual breast pump is especially compact and features an ergonomically shaped handle for effortless ﬁnger-tip control. This allows mothers to easily create and maintain a tight seal on the breast, making pumping considerably easier.

Soft massage cushion gently stimulates natural let down and milk flow

allows you to use the same cup to express, store and feed breast milk to your baby. The Philips Avent Comfort breast pumps also come with their natural bottle with its wide breast-shaped teat, which promotes natural latch on, similar to the breast, making it easy for your baby to combine breast and bottle feeding.

Making it easy to combine breast and bottle feeding

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Parents Centre mums tried out the Philips Avent Comfort Breast Pump and this is what they had to say: “The cushion is extremely comfortable. I found my let down occurred quicker (about 30 seconds in, whereas baby only stimulates let down after 1:20mins).” “The cushion is very comfortable and cups the breast well and does not allow leakage – holds suction.” “It was clear that a decent amount of milk was coming out, even though I was sitting in a comfortable position on the couch.” “Five minutes (120 mls), I was amazed by how easily I could express with this pump, having used several different brands over the course of breastfeeding three children.” “I was extremely impressed with how fast I was able to express a bottle when using the Avent pump. The stimulation function also helped with milk let down. Although electric it is quiet and discreet, it is also very compacted, which makes for easy storing. Ultimately it’s a very well-designed breast pump and due to the stimulation feeling so natural I believe by using it, it has also increased my milk supply. Happy Baby = Happy Mum.” “This is the first manual pump I have used and, with an oversupply, I found it very easy to use while feeding my baby. My baby only currently needs one breast per feed, so I often have to express the other side to make sure I don’t end up with one over-full breast. Because you can express leaning back, I found it super easy to use even with one hand.”

Supporting successful breastfeeding We are dedicated to encouraging breastfeeding and provide a range of breastcare accessories to help you with some challenges you may face along the way. Our disposable breast pads with their contoured shape are discrete, silky soft and superabsorbent with unique moisture channels and a one-way barrier which traps moisture inside the pad. Our thermopads can be used warm to stimulate milk flow or cold to soothe sore and

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Total RRP $558 Philips Avent Comfort Breast Pumps allow you to sit in a natural relaxed position when expressing, while the soft massage cushion with its unique soft petals gently compress the breast to stimulate milk flow, mimicking baby’s suckling behaviour by combining breast compression with gentle suction to stimulate your milk flow. The Philips Avent Milk Storage Cups are the perfect companion allowing you to use the same cup to express, store and feed breast milk to your baby. The Philips Avent 3-in-1 Electric Steam Steriliser, with its three piece modular system, perfectly fits the items you want to sterilise, whether it’s a few small items or a full load, sterilising in as little as six minutes. 

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Mummy

Guilt

A common response when returning to work

14 kiwiparent â&#x20AC;&#x201C; supporting kiwi parents through the early years

Hands up. Who’s had a case of ‘Mummy Guilt’ – that feeling you get of having failed in your role because of the expectations placed on you either by society or by yourself? Mummy guilt comes in many forms – from what you feed your little one, to how you should spend more time doing amazing arts and crafts projects together like your coffee group friends do with their children (and why do their efforts always look amazing while yours look NOTHING like the picture on Pinterest!?). But for many of us, weighed down with high rents, mortgages, and the ever increasing cost of living, one of the biggest causes of mummy guilt is the need to return to work. The decision to place your (in some cases barely months old) baby into care is a very hard one to make. As a parent, you may simply need to cover the weekly bills or you may have other motivations or obligations, but whatever your reason, you know that you made a decision that is ultimately in the best interests of you and your family. That doesn’t stop people passing comment on your decision of course, although the concept of families with both parents working is now the norm. Lots of comments passed in conversation probably aren’t even meant to make you feel bad – but when you would rather be home with your child, or you just missed out on going to their Christmas break-up or sports day, it stings.

But you are not alone – the concept of mummy guilt is an international phenomenon and at Porse we’re all on that same journey with you. As an organisation with a workforce consisting predominantly of working mums, we get it. You should never feel guilty for making the decision that is right in your circumstances, and for your child – we know it’s not a decision you make lightly. As we go to print, some of our team are on maternity leave and some are sending their babies off to university (that comes around faster than you think), but we have all gone through the challenge of being a working mum (or dad). In addition to our own experiences as working parents, we have helped thousands of families as they transition out of maternity leave and back into work.

Attachment theory Attachment is a deep and enduring emotional bond that connects one person to another across time and space. It is characterised by specific behaviors in children, such as seeking to be close to their attachment figure when upset or threatened. Attachment behavior in adults towards the child includes responding sensitively and appropriately to the child’s needs. Such behaviour appears universally across cultures. Attachment theory provides an explanation of how the parent-child relationship emerges and influences subsequent development.

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The Porse philosophy is built on the science of attachment theory – how the relationships between children and the caregivers in their life impact on that most critical period of brain development, from birth to age three and beyond. We know how important it is for not only children to build a strong relationship with the educator, but also for parents and educators to have a good connection. As a parent, you can’t focus on work if you’re worried about the wellbeing of your baby. You should rest easy knowing that if you can’t be with them, they are getting the next best thing – an educator who will cuddle them, keep them clean and safe, and make sure their routine is maintained, all while supporting them to learn and develop through play. So, with this in mind, here are a few of our tips for reducing your mummy guilt!

Know who is caring for your child Choosing your child care provider carefully is the first step to alleviating guilt. You need to feel confident that your child will feel safe, secure and loved because that is what they need for healthy development. Knowing that they are in their home-away-from-home also keeps the guilt and stress at bay while you are at work. Your children are influenced by those who care for them, so focus on the person and place less importance on the facilities (excluding safety of course!).

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“We know it’s hard at the start – that first day when you drop your most precious being off is nervewracking,” Naomi Fergusson, Porse Marketing and Communications.

“I wasn’t working at Porse when I made the decision to go with home-based care – I had visited centres in my area, but my daughter was only ten months old at the time and they just seemed too big and overwhelming. When I met my educator Janet and saw how she interacted with my daughter, it just felt more natural and calm. I felt confident she could provide the attention and affection I felt was so important.”

Reduce their separation anxiety Separation anxiety is a normal part of childhood and reflects the attachment relationship your child has formed with you. Take the time to let your child build confidence with their educator and stay for a period of time until they seem comfortable. For Porse Education and Training General Manager, Erin Maloney, one thing that has worked for her was to leave her son with something he associated with her. “If Jack is upset when I leave him to go to work, I give him one of my ‘special items’ – like a photo, a piece

of jewellery, or a scarf to look after while I’m at work. It allows him to still feel connected to me when I’m not there and eases my mummy guilt about going in the first place.” If your employer is willing, it’s also beneficial to you to transition back into work – either doing a few hours from home or working part-time and building back into full-time hours. Porse General Manager, Kerry Henderson, transitioned back into work over time, taking advantage of the Nanny Intern Programme after her son was born to work from home. “Having Jess there in the early days built all of our relationships and gave me the confidence to go back to work knowing he was at home in his environment and in good care.”

Stay connected Once you are back into the swing of work, find ways to keep fueling that special connection with your child. When you aren’t working, be present with your children (and your partner), and have a strategy for leaving work stress at the front door.

“I love getting my Storypark online journal updates through the day – seeing pictures of Ben during the work day helps me to know he is having a really good time with his educator,” says Kerry. Storypark is an online journal that allows parents and extended families to see, learn and experience more of of a baby’s day even when they are not physically present. “As he’s gotten older, we can use his journal to talk about his day over dinner.”

Protecting tiny tummies from harmful germs Good hygiene is crucial in baby’s first year. Sterilising is all about protecting your baby from harmful bacteria until their immune system is strong enough. Our range of steam sterilisers are quick, effective and chemical free.

Making the most of her time at home is also important to Kerry, who is conscious of not taking work home in the evenings. “It can be really hard to switch off when work is busy, but being fully present with your presence is important. It helps to have a special thing you do to have that one-on-one time with your children – bath time, story time, special play time when you get home – something to always look forward to and be fully focused on.” This article was prepared with the combined wisdom of Porse staff. 

Parents Centre’s philosophies around responsive and attachment parenting closely align with PORSE. We are thrilled to have PORSE as a national strategic partner.

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It’s not what we do,

it’s how we do it

18 kiwiparent – supporting kiwi parents through the early years

Children in New Zealand are growing up as digital natives, often with parents for whom readily available technology was introduced well into late teens or even adulthood. What is clear though, is that modern parents need knowledge to parent positively in the digital society in which their children are growing up. Many parents have an opinion on whether to use technology with their child, and how old their child should be when technology is first introduced. It is common to see technology use as an independent activity for the child. In our family we have certainly made use of “the third parent” at times. But I wonder, can we use technology to foster the relationship we have with our child? I have seen the concern that parents have for the wellbeing of their child. There is a look of care and concentration on many faces as I looked around the room during my introduction on the first night of antenatal class. Parents want to do the best they can for their children; and by doing this they are also doing the best they can for themselves. I recently completed my Master of Computer and Information Science, and my thesis examined the effect of technology on the parent-child relationship. The idea of looking into this area started germinating when I was reading my son’s Year One class blog with him. We were discussing “discovery time” where my son, a budding engineer since he knew he had hands, had time to play with Lego at school. I had no idea that his construction interest was being supported at school, let alone on a regular basis. Until this point our usual “What did you do today?” (attempted) conversations were, at best, full of “I don’t know”, or at worst, met with silence. Technology enabled me to have a detailed discussion about this aspect of the school curriculum. Extending this idea, I was specifically interested in the “neglected” middle class, half of New Zealands early

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primary school children (Years 0–3). This part of our society is largely absent in research. This group has no pressing issues; as parents, we are neither expert nor negligent. However, owing to our busy and stressful lives, we tend to yo-yo from one extreme to another, ever searching for the right solution. This research followed four parents interacting with their children. The participants were typical middle class. The children were from a public Auckland primary school. The parents had a variety of working statuses: full-time employment, part-time employment, and fulltime parenting. Some parents owned their own home and others rented. The children were in early primary school and the parents were middle-aged. The parents were tasked with investigating an aspect of their child’s learning using technology, while allowing

me to observe this interaction. The research objective was to identify behavioural patterns during this interaction that may impact the parent’s relationship with their child. There were three patterns that appeared in the observations: Physical and verbal intimacy between the parent and child. The parent’s desire to protect the child from failure. An opportunity for an extended interaction. The physical and verbal intimacy between the parent and child appeared in all research participants. In the older children, verbal intimacy generally appeared in the form of specific observations from the parents, for example, commenting on the level the child had reached in the app in use. In the younger children, the verbal intimacy tended to be general comments in the style of “well done” and “good job”. There was also a sense of wonder with the child: one parent commented to their child “you are amazing…you are incredible…I think you’re amazing now”. Physical intimacy was observed around the way the parent and child sat and touched during the observations. It was fascinating to see the parents and children regularly move to be closer to each other. Parents frequently stoked their child’s hair or gave the child a cuddle, and children often touched their parent’s arm or leg. There was a general sense of closeness between the parent and child. This physical and verbal intimacy while using technology together resembles the formative relationship-building activities of feeding an infant and reading to a young child.

20 kiwiparent – supporting kiwi parents through the early years

In these activities, unconscious physical and verbal intimacy are prevalent: massage and coo-ing is even recommended behaviour during a nappy change. There is no reason this behaviour should stop when the child ages and the activities change.

The protective instinct A pattern of the parent wanting to protect their child from failure showed itself when the child struggled with the technology; either because technology was being technology and generally misbehaved on occasion, or when the child was tired and this interrupted the child’s understanding. Parents offered physical and verbal assistance to their child. It was interesting to see that reactive help, when the child asked the parent for assistance, was more readily received by the child than proactive help, when the parent interrupted the child to provide help. In his book, Mothers Raising Sons, Nigel Latta proposed that parents of an older child should not be overprotective of that child, and that failure is essential for developing a child’s confidence. This was recently reiterated in a presentation by Stephen Lethbridge, Principal of Pt Chevalier School. Stephen suggests that children should be encouraged to “fail fast”. I challenge the language on this and suggest instead we use the language: “courage to try”, “experiment”, and “learn quickly”.

In contrast, there is significant research that shows learning and imagination is fostered and nurtured within a connected relationship. This connectedness is a form of safety, from which the child can move from being risk averse to adventurous, knowing they have a safe harbour to return to in the form of their parent. This sense of connectedness was what I observed in the reactive support that the parents provided to their children when they asked for help.

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Do you have family members currently caring for your children in their home? If so, call PORSE today to discuss how they can earn an income as a PORSE Educator.

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Modern day reality often means that we now spend less and less time together as a family. The opportunities we now have for work and leisure end up competing with family time. The research I was doing offered parents and children extended interaction opportunities. The first manifestation was the time committed to be part of the research. Most of the research participants came from families with multiple children. Parents commented on the value they saw in having one-on-one time with an individual child. The second opportunity was when the parent and child were discussing a topic, and technology enabled this discussion to extend beyond what each person knew. For example, one parent spent some time investigating claw retraction on big cats, after observing this process on a domestic cat. Did you know cheetahs cannot retract their claws? The research also led to better managing of technology time and using the absence of technology to create extended interaction opportunities. One parent has changed the time of day when technology is used in their home from the morning to the evening. This has enabled the morning to be used for a snuggle in bed. This parent commented it is a “loving, nurturing, gorgeous way to start the day”. It was also interesting to note that the device itself – whether it be a smartphone, tablet or laptop – did not appear to influence the behaviour. The same patterns were seen with the same participants across multiple devices. There are three key learnings parents can take from this research. Firstly, actively using technology together worked well for many families. Known as “synchronous collaboration” this term has been used to describe how the parent and child worked together. Synchronous collaboration means the parent and child are both interacting with the technology and each other. This is exactly the opposite to shuffling the child off with an iPad as an electronic babysitter, or plonking the children in front of the TV while you make dinner!

22 kiwiparent – supporting kiwi parents through the early years

Another key finding was that a short amount of collaboration shows far more physical and verbal intimacy that a long period of distraction – quality time has it over quantity once again.

Make the most of the opportunity And finally – seize the day! Where there is an opportunity to extend an interaction with your child, grab the smartphone or tablet and explore this opportunity. There is a popular belief that parents are concerned that their children are spending too long using technology. Using the technology with the child may alleviate this concern. It’s not what we do; it’s how we do it. Because nothing says “I love you” like staring at a screen – together. 

Miranda Young Miranda began her parenting journey almost eight years ago at a Parents Centre Childbirth Education class. She readily admits she knew very little about children and parenting before her son was born, and has always treated her parenting career in the same way as her paid career, through asking questions and seeking out information. Working full time in a technology company, studying part time for her Master’s, and being an involved mother, she found a natural thesis partnership combining technology, learning and parenting. Having completed her degree, Miranda is now enjoying realising the fruits of her labours through shared online research with her son.

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Crises

can

happen Illnesses can be life threatening or non-life threatening, long term or short term. Either way, if you are unwell and receiving treatment for weeks, months or years – where is the money coming from to ensure you and your family cope? Trauma Cover provides you with a lump sum payment to help financially if you are struck down with a serious condition. A comprehensive Trauma policy can cover 44+ medical events, including many types of cancer, heart attack and stroke. Steve and Michelle* from Wellington said recently, “we knew how important it was to have trauma insurance for ourselves, but never once believed we would need it for our child. We thought, it’s never going to happen to us – how wrong we were” … The following is their story. At 14 years of age, their daughter Abby* was diagnosed with leukaemia. The long-term treatment Abby needed was not available in Wellington and they needed to go

to Christchurch. This meant the family would have to split up to ensure someone was with her. The decision was made for Michelle to go to Christchurch and take their younger daughter Grace*, who was 12, with her. Steve stayed at home to continue working to ensure the mortgage and usual bills were met. Anything extra would be left for Michelle to help her financially. Arriving in Christchurch, Michelle and Grace found their new home at Ronald McDonald House, unsure of how long they would be there. Grace was enrolled in a new school, meaning additional costs for Steve and Michelle. “It’s all the extras that you don’t think of,” Michelle says. Abby was put in isolation in Christchurch Hospital. Only a few people were allowed to visit her. Each person entering her room had to make sure that they were "surgically dressed", hands scrubbed, gown on and completed the ritual of keeping infections and bugs from entering the room. Every day Abby was pumped full of Chemo, trying desperately to kill the cancer that was trying to take her life.

Don’t be like us and think it won’t happen to you, because it might”. During the ten months that Abby was in hospital, she was only allowed home to Wellington twice. Each time for two days, and each time with very strict rules and regulations about what she could and could not do. This included going into Wellington Hospital each day to receive IV meds. At the end of ten months they thought they had beaten this disease, but the doctors were about to deliver a massive blow. They had discovered that the leukaemia was of a different and rare strain and Abby would need a bone marrow transplant. Steve and Michelle had come to a new decision. Steve was struggling being away from his family when they

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24 kiwiparent – supporting kiwi parents through the early years

We help protect Kiwis

big and small.

For over 40 years, Fidelity Life has been providing life insurance to Kiwis. If you haven’t already, now is the time to find out how you can protect your family’s future with a New Zealand insurer. To get started, call Terri or Sharon at SHARE on 0800 02 00 55 or email them at pcnz@sharenz.com

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Continued from previous... needed him and he needed to be there. They decided Steve would take a leave of absence from his job, and a second mortgage would be drawn which allowed enough funds to cover all the day-to-day bills including the mortgage for six months. This meant that they could all be together in Christchurch. The transplant was successful, however it was another four months before Abby was allowed to go home – this time for good. In all, she spent 14 months in hospital care. Seven years on, Abby having finished school, is now a qualified primary school teacher and lives her life to the full. Both Steve and Michelle returned to their old jobs as their employers had kept a position open for them. They say that the support they had from their employers, Canteen and Child Cancer Foundation along with Ronald McDonald House helped tremendously. Michelle says, “If we had known about Children’s Trauma, it would have been a no-brainer as it would have meant we wouldn’t have needed that second mortgage. WINZ were only able to help with $47.00 fortnight being a sickness benefit for Abby, as Steve continued to work. Don’t be like us and think it won’t happen to you, because it might”.

* Names changed to repsect the family’s privacy

Reaching out to centres Just over 13 months ago we sat down with Parents Centre National support centre with a view of putting together a package to support all of Parents Centre members, both new and existing. Firstly, we needed to find out more about who Parents Centre are, understand how they support their members, who would want to join them and why, where do their members come from and so on. What we have learnt is amazing! Continued next page...

26 kiwiparent – supporting kiwi parents through the early years

SHARE insurance advisers Terri McGuire (left) and Sharon Pearce together look after the Wellington region and Wairarapa Parents Centres.

Terri being a mother of three children – two who have left home, (well sometimes!) and the third starting her first year in tertiary studies, knew first-hand the knowledge, skills and confidence gained from belonging to an organisation like Parents Centre. Like most modern-day families, Terri has relied on her strong support networks to help raise her busy family and juggle work and family commitments.

The next task was to find other advisers to join us, to ensure we could provide the support for members needing more advice other than just the group offer. We are humbled at how enthusiastic and supportive the advisers who have joined us have been. Some are ex-Parent Centre members themselves and almost all of them have children of their own, so this has become very close to their hearts.

Sharon on the other hand does not have children, but has worked closely with many not-for-profit organisations centred mainly around teenagers, and can see how having the support from an organisation that understands how to work alongside new parents is invaluable at a time when so many people, magazines, Google and such, have their own ideas on what parenting means.

The best part of all is that we are now meeting the centres, finding out how they tick, how we can support them, and most important we get to know you, the members.

Taking everything we collectively know, and what we have learnt from meeting with Social Enterprises Manager Taslim Parsons and her team, we set about finding an insurer who could provide an exclusive and affordable package to protect Parents Centre families. Fidelity Life were delighted to be given the opportunity to create this special protection plan for us. The offer on the previous page is the result of that work.

It has been a long road, but 13 months on and we are there! We have the offer, the support systems sorted and the advisers who are raring to go. In the coming issues we will be introducing the adviser team so you can get to know them a little better, where they are based and which centres they look after.  SHARE supports Centre of the month awards. See more on page 40.

Here to help you protect what matters most – your family. SHARE’s specialist advisers are experts at finding the right insurance solution that fits within your budget. That’s why Parents Centre chose SHARE to look after you and your family!

TALK TO US TODAY 0800 02 00 55 www.groupoffers.co.nz pcnz@sharenz.com

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Hugs on the

cover of

Kiwiparent

Entries have closed and the photos are being judged in the inaugural Huggies Cover Star competition. We have been really touched by all the precious entries we have received. Not only are there beautiful photos of mums and bubs hugging, but we have also received lovely pics of dads and bubs as well as great sibling photos. It has been wonderful to see our community getting involved in the competition. We’ve been delighted with the response with around 1,000 entries received. We are looking for images that show loving connections – parents, children, siblings, grandparents, pets – those special moments that illustrate closeness and attachment. We are so very impressed by the high quality of entries we have received and it’s also been a bonus to read all the comments made with the photos. The parents sharing their photos are amazing.

Why do hugs matter It’s a universal language and the first one that humans learn. The very act of hugging releases oxytocin (known as “the bonding hormone”), a process beginning immediately after birth. But, the benefits of touch are not just for baby. Skin-to-skin contact reduces the stress level for Mum too, allowing her to be more attentive and receptive to her baby’s needs. As creatures beginning to grasp their surroundings moment to moment, a hug alone can literally make them feel more comfortable in their own skin.

28 kiwiparent – supporting kiwi parents through the early years

An affectionate hug aids in the development of interpersonal relationships and can promote feelings of devotion to and trust in Mum. Newborn’s are neurologically wired to stop crying when held, and particularly in infancy, a hug induced reduction of stress hormone, cortisol, can even encourage more restful sleep. Hugs have been part of Huggies® Nappies’ DNA since 1978 when Kimberly-Clark employee Boyd Tracy thought to combine the words “hugs” and “babies”, and came up with a brand name that communicated how the nappy “hugged” the baby’s shape.  Look out for the winner of the Huggies Cover Star competition on the cover of the next issue of Kiwiparent!

The winning photo will receive a professional cover photo shoot plus a six-month supply of Huggies products. prize Total rth e wo g a k c ! pa 8,850 RRP $

Whatever touches their skin, should feel as gentle as your hugs.

Every baby is different, but there’s one thing they all have in common. Their skin is up to 10x thinner than adults. That’s why we’ve designed new HUGGIES ULTIMATE® Nappies. It’s our best care for skin, our most breathable and our softest nappy ever. With a unique DRYTOUCH® layer with Aloe Vera & Vitamin E, it’s the hug that looks after their skin while they wear it. HUGGIES ULTIMATE® Nappies are clinically proven to help prevent nappy rash, are endorsed by Plunket and have the same trusted absorbency and protection that you expect from all HUGGIES® Nappies. Also available in Nappy-Pants.

There’s nothing like29 a hug kiwiparent

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® Registered Trademark Kimberly-Clark Worldwide, Inc. © KCWW.

Hey Dad

– take care of yourself As we get ready to celebrate Father’s Day, experts agree that the best thing that dads can do to keep healthy is to get proactive. By taking preventative action you can reduce the danger of major health risks including diabetes and heart attacks. Every positive change is a step towards better and longer lasting health and happiness.

30 kiwiparent – supporting kiwi parents through the early years

By starting an open discussion with friends and family and getting a yearly warrant of fitness check up with your GP, you can safeguard your lifestyle and wellbeing for years to come – and make sure you are there for your children when they need you most. There are a few simple steps men can take to actively safeguard their health and protect themselves from disease and ill health.

Keep your WOF up to date One of the easiest and most effective ways that men can take care of their health is by getting to know a GP and having a check-up once a year – think of it as warrant of fitness for your body or taking a time out for a men’s health pit stop. A GP will be able to check for all age appropriate health risks, answer any questions you may have about your health and outline what steps to take to make sure you stay healthy for the future. You can also visit a pharmacy, as your local pharmacist is an easily accessible first step towards

looking after your health. They are open long hours, late nights and weekends, and can offer you free health information and advice. By monitoring your health regularly and being aware of any illnesses or risks in your family history, you will be more likely to catch any health issues early and give yourself the best chance at surviving potentially life-threatening illnesses, many of which don’t always have obvious symptoms in their early stages. Dads can find a new lease on life by having a check-up with a GP or nurse once a year and being proactive about their health. You can also visit menshealthweek.co.nz to do an online men’s health survey.

Measure your blood Blood pressure and high cholesterol can be a key indicator for a range of illnesses, including type two diabetes. There are 40 new diabetes diagnoses in New Zealand every day and one in four New Zealanders is estimated to have pre-diabetes. A person’s risk of progressing from pre-diabetes to type 2 diabetes can be roughly halved if they lose weight, change their diet, increase exercise and/or have drug treatment. It doesn’t take long but it can mean

a lot to your family if you get an annual heart and diabetes check. www.diabetes.org.nz

You need to move it move it The benefits of regular exercise can be huge for physical, mental and sexual health. By getting into a routine that includes 30 minutes of physical exercise a day, you can be well on the way to ensuring your health for the future. Research shows that higher levels of physical activity can reduce cardiovascular disease, help fight depression, help prevent the onset of diabetes and improve sexual function. So take control of your health with 30 minutes of daily exercise – take the kids for a walk or a swim, take up a sport or go dancing, whatever works for you.

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things to look out for include family history of mental illness, excessive alcohol consumption, drug use, stress, unemployment and chronic illness. Remember that there are services out there to help you or you can chat with your family doctor. depression.org.nz

Stub it out Smoking causes more deaths every year in New Zealand than road crashes, suicide, skin cancers, drowning and homicide combined. If you are a smoker, it increases your risk of coronary heart disease, stroke and a range of cancers and other diseases. Quitting is the only option. The good news is that your body has an amazing ability to recover from the effects of smoking after you quit. After 24 hours the carbon monoxide in your blood will have dropped dramatically and all the nicotine will have been metabolised. Within a year of quitting the risk of coronary heart disease is halved and after 10–15 years of not smoking your risk of disease will be the same as those who have never smoked. There are a number of services available for those who want to quit – speak to your GP or nurse, or call Quitline on 0800 778 778 for help.

Healthy eating Just as important as regular exercise to making sure that you maintain a healthy and balanced life is healthy eating. Eating well is important for both mental and physical health, so you need to know what foods to eat, in what quantities and what foods to avoid to minimise health risks. A balanced diet means eating a wide variety of healthy foods including plenty of vegetables, fruit and cereals (like bread, rice and pasta), some lean meat, chicken or fish, dairy products (milk, yoghurt, cheese) and lots of water. It’s a good idea to avoid fatty foods and foods with lots of sugar in them. It can be hard to change your diet, so the best way to do it is to try and

make small changes over time and eat healthy foods that you enjoy. A nutritionist can also offer advice and support and design a personalised nutrition and fitness programme for you.

Healthy thinking Depression affects one in eight men at any time. Everyone can struggle with their day-to-day experiences, but the challenge facing men is to realise when they are getting overwhelmed and knowing how to get help. Recognising the symptoms of depression in yourself and others can be the first step to beating it. Symptoms include tiredness, irritability, sleep disturbance, and loss of interest in work or other activities. Other

32 kiwiparent – supporting kiwi parents through the early years

www.quit.org.nz

Diabetes – a health crisis Diabetes is New Zealand’s fastestgrowing health crisis, affecting a quarter of a million kiwis. In fact there are 40 new diabetes diagnoses every day. In many cases, people could prevent or delay the onset of type 2 diabetes with a healthy lifestyle of nutritional eating and regular exercise. Taking a health check and visiting a health professional is a great way to assess your risk of diabetes. There are many simple ways you can reduce your risk. www.diabetes.org.nz

Family, friends, and love are important “It’s really hard to simulate facing your own mortality head on. When you’re staring straight at the terror of what can so easily veer into a terminal illness, everything slows way down and you can’t help but ask yourself what is important to you. “It’s not a secret. Hearing the words is a great start so I’ll say them here. Family, friends, and love are important. Authenticity is important. Most of the other things recede and shush right down once you’re invited to know, to really know, that you may just return to dust a little ahead of the schedule you had planned for yourself. “If you have recently been diagnosed with testicular cancer, it’s not going to be easy and it’s not going to be fun. But I promise, in a way that should probably make you a little mad, that it will be worth it, one day.”

Kevin Hall Kevin Hall is a worldchampion Olympic sailor, as well as racing navigator for Emirates Team New Zealand in the 2007 America’s Cup match. A two-time testicular cancer survivor, Kevin is a successful racing navigator, speed testing manager and sailing performance and racing instruments expert. He lives in Auckland with his wife and their three children.

Don’t’ let shyness get in the way Testicular cancer is the most common cancer affecting young New Zealand men between the ages of 15–39 – yet it is one of the most treatable cancers if detected early, with an impressive survival rate of 95%. It is often confused with prostate cancer as many young men don’t realise they’re at risk of developing testicular cancer in their youth. Most problematic though, is that it suffers from a lack of general awareness and discussion among younger men and their peers due to a shyness to talk about their “private parts”. “Early detection is critical for testicular cancer treatment, as it leads to better outcomes for patients,” says Graeme Woodside, CEO of Testicular Cancer New Zealand. “We want young men to understand how to confidently check themselves and know what to watch out for. Ultimately however, we want people to ‘check their balls’ and keep themselves safe.” www.testicular.org.nz 

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Mind over matter

34 kiwiparent â&#x20AC;&#x201C; supporting kiwi parents through the early years

The Five Ways are: Connect, Learn, Take Notice, Give, and Keep Active. Below are some ideas about how you can use these techniques when you’re flying solo to help keep your head in the game.

Keep connecting Talk and listen, be there, feel connected. Connecting with others is an essential part of your wellbeing, and of being human – as the saying goes, no man (or woman) is an island. As a single parent, it’s likely that much of your time outside of work will be spent looking after your child(ren), so you need to take the opportunity to connect with people as much as possible. Connecting with others increases your wellbeing in many ways, helping you focus on things, other than your difficulties, and you’ll likely be having fun! Here’s a few ways to connect with your mates.

When you’re grinding it out as a solo parent, your mind can be your worst enemy. In my first year as a single dad, I was dealing with the fallout from the end of my relationship, working full time and parenting on my own four nights a week – while learning how to do this on the job. I was also travelling to Auckland regularly for work (where my head office was based), running a household, and trying to balance the other aspects of my life, like catching up with friends and training. Dealing with so many challenges like this on your own can take a significant toll on you – mentally, physically and spiritually. In this state of heightened stress, it’s easy for negative thought patterns to creep in and start dominating your thoughts. So it’s crucial that you keep on top of your mental game to keep everything else running as smoothly as possible. If things are overwhelming, you should seek professional help quickly. But there are plenty of ways that you can improve your mental wellbeing every day to keep you in a good space when you’re under the gun.

Everyday activities to improve your wellbeing The Five Ways to Wellbeing are a collection of simple, everyday activities that you can use to improve your life and keep a sense of balance. They were developed by the New Economic Foundation and are based on research into mental wellbeing undertaken for the UK Government in 2008 – so there’s a bit of evidence to back them up.

Schedule regular catch-ups such as coffee or dinner with family and/or friends. After I became a single dad and had moved back to Wellington, one of the things I established early on was a regular Sunday dinner with my close friends to connect with them on a regular basis. It was a great way to spend time with them, share in food and laughter, and have someone else do the dishes one night a week! Get active with your mates – a two-for-one deal, as keeping active is also one of the Five Ways. One of the things that made a big difference to my wellbeing about a year after I became a solo dad was joining the gym, as around the same time one of my mates joined the same gym and we started training together. We only train together once a week, but it’s time that I value in connecting with my friend and others who I also see at the gym, and it’s also vital for getting out of the house – something I definitely needed to do more often. Don’t downplay the importance of connecting online. Yeah, I know. It’s not real, those people are fake electronic phantoms that will make you hate your life, blah blah blah. Ok that’s a bit extreme, but the reality is I spend at least four nights a week at home when I have my daughter, and unfortunately child services frown upon the idea of leaving her at home while I dash out for a few rounds of Tekken with the boys, so the interwebs it is. Facebook is my usual weapon of choice, which I mainly use to share video game trailers, comic book movie rumours or the latest funnies I’ve pinched off imgur.com When you can, catch a show with some mates – sports, events, movies, comedy shows, theatre, live music – anything that gets you out and about with your mates.

Learning new things is fun Ok, this may sound a bit geeky, but I’m not suggesting you go out and sign up for a statistics class (unless that’s your thing. And if it is…you’re weird. But that’s cool). Learning a new skill, taking up a hobby you’ve always wanted to try, or delving into new knowledge can be

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Remember the simple things that give you joy. enjoyable, opening your mind to new possibilities and ways of thinking, connecting you with other likeminded people, and boosting your self-esteem as you acquire and master new skills and knowledge. Ever wanted to try a new hobby/sport/skill? If you’ve just become a single parent, why not use this new beginning to try something you’ve always wanted to do? After a year or so as a solo dad, I started looking for a new physical activity to do. I ended up joining the gym and getting into calisthenics, which was great fun, and I enjoyed learning new exercise techniques. I also tried a few free intro classes of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, which I enjoyed so much that it’s next on my to-do list. Is there something you need to learn to up your Dad game? One of the big things I learned when I found myself becoming a single dad is how to cook, I increased my recipe repertoire to “OVER 9,000”! I also needed to learn how to shop for girls’ clothes, since my experience in this was about zero. Why not take a class? Whether it’s professional development/training opportunities through your workplace, or evening/weekend classes if your schedule allows, taking a class is a great place to learn something new and meet different people. I participated in a Startup Weekend in Wellington, which could be described as an intense form of business education torture/accelerated learning. In this event, a room full of strangers pitch business ideas, then form teams and create businesses over the course of a weekend, at the end of which they pitch their ideas to a lineup of judges. Having no business training myself but a keen interest and enthusiasm, I participated in what was one of the most intense weekends of my life, but also one of the most rewarding in terms of knowledge gained and connections forged with likeminded people. Learn from your kids – see the world anew through a child’s eyes. This one is on a slightly different tack, and links to the “Connect” action. My journey as a parent has taught me a lot about myself: my tendencies as a parent (and the things I picked up from my own parents), how I react to the numerous parenting challenges that you can only learn to address “on the job”, my hopes and dreams and especially my fears in becoming a father and responsible for the future of more than just myself. But also, seeing the world through the eyes of my daughter as she grows and is able to express herself more and more as each day passes – she has such a cheeky, effervescent, inquisitive outlook that, if nothing else, makes me smile and reminds me what the important things are in life.

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Take notice of the things around you Remember the simple things that give you joy. Stopping and taking note of the little things in life, which – when you think about it – are really the big things, helps calm your mind when you’ve probably got a million things running through it. Whether it’s pausing to appreciate the wonder of your surroundings when you’re out in nature, really engaging in time with your little one(s) or friends and family without checking your phone every two minutes, or just taking a moment to appreciate the good things in your life can bring the everyday challenges of solo parenting into perspective. “Wherever you are, be there” – one way to take notice is to practice being in the moment in whatever you’re doing, and not thinking about anything else other than that task or activity. So if you’re playing with your child, focus on that only and not on projects at work that need doing, or all the cleaning you need to catch up on. Take pleasure in the simple things – When you’re taking care of business as a parent, the budget can be pretty tight. Don’t worry though – you don’t need to always spend money when spending time with your kids. With a little creativity and thinking you can engage in some quality time with your little ones that won’t break the bank. Go to the park, the beach, go for a walk along the water, get some boxes from the supermarket and make a fort. Think of things you used to do in your youth when there were no iPhones or super techno gadgets, which are around today. Waiting for something, like the doctor or a bus, plane, etc.? Take the opportunity to notice your surroundings, rather than burying yourself in your headphones or your smart phone. Have a look at your environment and see if you can notice anything you wouldn’t normally see. Do a bit of people watching and notice those around you and their interactions with others.

Regularly get outside – a great way to recharge during the work day is to get out of the office and go for a walk or spend your lunch break at a park. Gives your body a break from that desk-bound position a lot of workers are in for the majority of the day.

Give a little Sometimes giving feels like one of the trickier things to do as a single parent. How do you find the time, energy or resources to give to others when you’re doing the hard yards on your own? It’s not always easy, but finding ways to give is definitely worth it for the joy you can bring others, as well as the rewards you experience for helping someone. Plus it’s also a great way to connect with others. One of the easiest ways to give is with your words – simple to give, but it can make a huge impact to others. Giving someone a compliment or telling them that you appreciate them can really brighten up their day, and you never know when those words are needed by the recipient. An encouraging word in the right place can make all the difference. Invite a friend or two (or three) around and cook dinner, or maybe make a big batch and take some over to someone who you know is in need. A casserole in a crisis is always welcome and shows the recipient that you care. Do you have any skills that you could use to help out others in need? Whether it’s coaching your children’s sports team, helping design a flyer for a local event, or baking a cake for a kindy fundraiser. Offer your expertise as a way to give something valuable from your skill set. Get rid of the clutter around your home by giving it to someone who needs it – kids are constantly outgrowing clothes, toys etc., so pass them on to someone you know who might be able to use them or donate them to a local charity.

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Activity is crucial – and fun Being active is definitely one of the ways to wellbeing that I make an effort to set time aside for each week. I’ve been involved in a physical activity of some sort since I was a child, and it’s helped keep me in relatively good shape in my later years to allow me to keep up with an increasingly active toddler. Apart from the many physical benefits, being active also helps keep your mind healthy, improves your mood, and it’s fun! Oftentimes challenging and can give you a sense of accomplishment depending on what you get into, it can also be a great way to meet other people and express yourself physically. There are so many benefits that it’s probably my favourite way to improve my wellbeing. Firstly, you need to make time for it. My schedule can be full on at times, especially in my first year as a single dad where I was regularly commuting to Auckland for work every other week, but I tried to make sure I got some form of physical exercise at least twice a week. There were plenty of other things I could be doing with the time, but I’ve always prioritised my physical fitness because it’s a crucial component of my overall wellbeing. On the days I don’t have my daughter – and I’m organised enough – I make the 30 minute walk to and from work in the mornings to add to my activity levels and save a few dollars on bus fares. From taking the stairs, getting off your bus a few stops early, walking meetings or getting out during your work day, think of ways you can schedule physical activity into your day that don’t require you to change into gym clothes. Are you keen to start a new physical activity but not sure what to pick up? Most classes have a “free trial” option, so hit up your friends and social networks for suggestions. I’ve done this a few times and have come back with so many great suggestions I need more hours in the day/days in the week to do them all! Remember to get active with your kids – don’t let them have all the fun! Get stuck in and show them how it’s done! Look into all the options in your area, and don’t

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think they have to cost the world – some free or cheap options can include: Exploring new parks and playgrounds in your area. Make a splash at the swimming pool or beach. Have a dance battle and show them your best dad grooves. Get out in nature and go for a hike/bush walk. If you can’t fit in some physical activity before or after work, how about during the work day? Spend a lunch break or two playing social work sport, or hit the gym for a quick workout during the day. It might even give your brain a boost and help you overcome the dreaded afternoon sleepiness that has many of us reaching for the coffee or energy drinks. Do you have experience in a sport/physical activity that you could pass on to others? Why not teach it? Keep yourself active, pass on your knowledge, meet people, maybe even make a bit of money on the side – the list goes on. So that’s some of the ways I keep my head in the game, but anyone can use these to improve or maintain their wellbeing on a regular basis. What’s some of your favourite ways to improve your wellbeing?  For more ideas, check out the Mental Health Foundation of New Zealand www.mentalhealth.org.nz

Ben Tafau Ben is the author of The 1 Player Dad Strategy Guide and 1PlayerDad.com. He’s a single dad with shared care of an amazing 3-year-old daughter, and writes about his journey playing the parenting game in ‘1 Player Mode’ in Wellington.

In this section Centre of the month awards

Educating and supporting parents through the early years Antenatal – pregnancy and childbirth education.

Rewarding our amazing volunteers Parents Centre week Spotlight on Antenatal Programmes

While these are certainly not the only things we do, we are justifiably proud of delivering fantastic classes around the country! Parents Centres New Zealand was founded back in 1952 largely through the critical need to improve antenatal education and birthing practices in this country. We have achieved plenty since then, including: S uccessfully advocating for fathers to be allowed to be present during labour and birth E stablishing the practice of babies “rooming in” with their mothers and not being banished to a nursery P romoting breastfeeding as being normal and the best form of feeding for babies and supporting the World Health Organisation (WHO) code for this I nitiating unlimited hospital visits for parents of sick children E stablishing the only diploma level course specialising in antenatal education in the country We have an awesome team of expert Childbirth Educators (CBE’s), all trained to diploma level and passionate about the importance of quality childbirth education. We’ve been educating parents for over 60 years, and believe that, with the right information, birthing choices sit firmly with you, the parents. Knowledge is empowerment, enabling you to have control over what is the start of the most incredible journey of your life – becoming a parent. Perhaps you could be interested in becoming a Childbirth Educator or a Centre volunteer? The Childbirth Education diploma level five course is completed through distance learning, so can be undertaken from anywhere in the country.

The opportunities for volunteers at Centre level are many and varied – simply contact your local Centre or check out our website to find out how you can become involved.

www.parentscentre.org.nz

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Congratulations to the Centre of the Month Award winners He aha te mea nui o te ao. He ta-ngata, he ta-ngata, he ta-ngata What is the most important thing in the world? It is people, it is people, it is people. (Ma-ori proverb)

April winner

May winner

Taupo Parents Centre

Greymouth Parents Centre

About two years ago, Taupo Parents Centre identified a gap in the community with the closure of Plunket’s car rental scheme. They engaged with the Taupo community and sought funding to establish their own car rental scheme which offers short, medium and longterm rentals. Not only that, but this amazing centre also offers free checks and help with correct installation on any car seat by qualified technicians – regardless of where the seat has been purchased. We recognise the significant work that has gone into establishing this initiative – sourcing funding and making sure that – one year on – it is sustainable. Congratulations Taupo Parents Centre, you’ve created something fantastic to support your community!

At the end of 2015, DHB's funding to deliver childbirth education through Greymouth Parents Centre ceased. Instead of letting this set them back, the committee recognised the huge value their centre offered the community and decided to focus on other activities. They ascertained that parent education was where the gaps were and where they could best support families. Utilising the skills of their Child Birth Education, they started running Baby and You classes. When approached to pilot the new Parents Centre Early Pregnancy Programme, they immediately saw the value and got stuck in – and became the fist Centre to run this programme. Greymouth Parents Centre are pioneers of the popular Baby and Child Gear Extravaganza and also run a well-attended music group. Their strong community ties means that they have several times been adopted as the charity of choice at local fundraising events. Awesome work Greymouth Parents Centre, you are a huge asset to your community.

Sponsored by SHARE This award, launched earlier this year, recognises the huge contribution that Centres make towards achieving great things in their communities. The great work their team does in their community Centres that are engaged in delivering national as well as local initiatives Initiatives that demonstrate growth in membership and volunteers New ideas and initiatives that benefit Parents Centre locally and nationally

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Celebrating the volunteers who power Parents Centres Outstanding Volunteer Paulette Smyth The Bays North Harbour committee got in touch and asked us to help them recognise a very special volunteer, Paulette Smyth. Paulette has been part of Bays North Harbour Committee for nine years and has done almost all the committee roles during that time and at times it seems that she single handedly ran it on her own! She is a wealth of knowledge in regards to Parents Centre and is readily available to talk or meet up and share this and support all volunteers. Without hesitation, she picks up/drops off/collects whatever is needed for each class/group – always goes above and beyond. She even used her own home as Parents Centre storage for years. Paulette’s always up for supporting other Parents Centres and projects and driving them forward. Paulette always shows respect and gratitude towards committee members and is extremely supportive. She makes everyone feel an important part of the team and is extremely considerate and thoughtful, taking initiative arranging cards, flowers, thank yous and get wells.

Paulette has amazing relationships with people and the many businesses that we work with running our educational classes, and because of this, things run extremely smoothly all the time. Paulette is stepping down from the committee and her current role as President and will be sorely missed, both personally and professionally. The team at the National Support Centre will also miss Paulette; we thank her for her commitment to families and wish her all the best.

Jan Tomalin Jan has been involved with Putaruru Parents Centre for over thirty years. Twelve months ago when she heard that Putaruru Parents Centre was in urgent need of support, she stepped in without hesitation. Jan singlehandedly ensured that Child Birth Education and the car seat rental service continued to operate and the financials were kept up to date. Within a year she has built the centre to a committee of eight volunteers. She is currently President, but is succession planning to step away and allow the new committee to grow and build the centre. Jan has amazing community networks and has always been a passionate advocate for Parents Centre. As a national organisation we recognise that without Jan stepping up Putaruru Parents Centre wouldn’t have the future it does today. Thank you, Jan!

Daniel Mapletoft When selecting people to recognise, Daniel Mapletoft was nominated by everyone at the National Support Centre. He always puts his hand up to help both nationally and other centres when asked, and is proactive in offering support, particularly suggesting IT solutions for centres. With an immense capacity for work, Daniel still finds time to mentor other centres, and, over the years, has held down numerous volunteer roles simultaneously. Always helpful, with good humour and can-do attitude! Daniel we would just like to clone you! Daniel’s wife, Nicola Mapletoft, is a Childbirth Educator and Parents Centre New Zealand Board Member – together this couple are a true Parents Centre family and work as a fantastic team to support parents in their community.

Taieri Parents Centre supported by their community Taieri Parents Centre received the biggest single amount in the Mosgiel Z Energy charity promotion in June. The centre received nearly a third of the votes in the Good in the Hood fundraising programme, receiving $1,310. This money will to go towards funding pregnancy, childbirth and Early Parenting Education in Taieri. The committee would like to thank their members and local community for their support. A special thank you to Ivan and his fantastic team at Z Mosgiel.

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Walking to support Tauranga The Tauranga Parents Centre held their annual Walk the Lakes fundraiser in June.

Stratford Parents Centre Fair Stratford came together to celebrate with a family fun fair in June. Family, friends and grandparents enjoyed an afternoon of games (with prizes) – plus mystery bags, raffles, face painting by Morph and, of course, plenty to eat and drink.

‘’We hold about 30 antenatal classes and 15 parent classes a year. We only have six people on our committee and we are all volunteers so we are also looking for some new volunteers to help us.’’

Centre President, Felicia Piddington said that it was a fantastic community-focused day. “Thank you to everyone that came to our fair, it was a great afternoon. We would love to thank our amazing sponsors: Midhirst Motors, Mackays Unichem Pharmacy, Stratford New World, Stratford Paper Plus, Subway Stratford, Colonel Malones, Dads and Lads, Dimocks 100%, Thyme Out, Taranaki Veterinary Centre, Cottage Lane, Renee Zehnder First National Mills and Gibbon, Urban Attitude, Farmlands, Cooks Honda, RD 1, Moss Rocard & Smith Chemist, Mountain Motors, Dean Cameron’s Tyres and Automotive, 2 & 1, Hydraulink Neville Nolly, Aviation Advancements, Tracey Vickers, Lily Webb, Nami Sushi, Keryn Walsh, Stratford ITM, Moana Massage, South Taranaki Pilates, Vepo and Scheliin Admin Services.

The annual walk is a family-orientated activity for everyone to enjoy, she said.

“And, of course, all of our amazing members that made this event possible.”

This year, this popular fundraiser was well covered by the local papers and More FM attended to hand out Huggies samples. Centre President, Karyn Grindlay, was delighted by the support of the Tauranga community. She said the funds raised would be used to help improve the services it provided. Each year about 500 parents use their services.

Parent & child expo – Marlborough style Marlborogh Parents Centre had the biggest day in their calendar by far when they put on their annual parent and child expo in June. It went off without a hitch and everyone had SO much fun! With well over 800 through the door it was an awesome day! The committee would like to thank everyone who made it such an successful day, the exhibitors all looked fantastic, silent auction items were great, there were loads of things for the kids to do and everyone was so happy! A huge thank you to the Parent Centre Committee for making it such an easy day, specially Maddy Robertson and Rebecca

Toms who put in so much hard work organising but were unable to be there today to see it all come together. Thanks as well to local sponsors Blenheim Early Childhood, O’Donnell Park Barging Ltd, First National, Pak ’N Save, More FM and The Sun for making the day possible – and of course everyone who came along to share the day! Photo Caption: Marian (below in blue) has been part of MPC for over 21 years. She’s a bloody legend!

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Each edition of Kiwiparent will profile one of Parents Centre's renowned parent education programmes.

This month the spotlight is on:

Antenatal programmes Many incredible changes occur to a woman’s body when she becomes pregnant. The wonderful thing is that it all happens without conscious thought. For example, the baby’s fingernails begin forming without mum looking up developmental stages and thinking ‘this week it’s nails!’ How incredible is that? So, why attend antenatal (pregnancy and childbirth) programmes or classes if a growing baby happens without a textbook or instructions; surely birthing and breastfeeding will be the same? The answer is ‘yes it is’. Giving birth is a natural physiological event, as is breastfeeding. In this modern world, however, we are no longer surrounded by birth and breastfeeding in the course of our lives. For many women the first experience they have of birthing is when they give birth themselves. This is not helped by the media’s widespread portrayal of birth which is often far from reality.

Information is power and, in an often medically-oriented birthing situation, this knowledge is empowering for both parents. Many parents also find it extremely rewarding to have the opportunity to take time out of their busy lives to dedicate a couple of hours a week to planning for the birth of their baby. The ‘coffee groups’ that follow on from the class series become a lifeline for some. To network with other parents at the same stage of life, experiencing similar challenges and joys, is confidence boosting and very rewarding. The programmes are run by qualified professional Childbirth Educators who are skilled in knowledge and in facilitation, to ensure that your experience of antenatal classes is fun, interactive, valuable and informative.  Go to www.parentscentre.org.nz to find out about antenatal classes running in your area.

Sadly this leaves some lacking in confidence and the mother lacking in the knowledge required to trust her own body. This is where antenatal – or childbirth education – programmes can be a lifeline for couples who want well researched, up-to-date information on the basics of childbearing. Parents Centres antenatal programmes cater for all situations, including when labour doesn’t go to plan and trouble-shooting for times when breastfeeding can be challenging.

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Find a Centre near you Parents Centres span the entire country with 47 locations around New Zealand. Contact your local Centre for details of programmes and support available in your area, or go to:

www.parentscentre.org.nz

North Island Auckland Region 1 Wha-nga-rei

Bay of Plenty

Waitemata

Whakatane

Bays North Harbour

Rotorua

Hibiscus Coast

Taupo

Onewa

Taranaki

Auckland Region 2

New Plymouth

Auckland East

Stratford

Papakura

South Taranaki

Manukau

East Coast North Island

Franklin

Central Hawke's Bay

Auckland Region 3

Hawke's Bay

West Auckland

Central Districts

Central Auckland

Palmerston North

East & Bays

Wairarapa

Waikato

Wellington

Hamilton

Kapiti

Cambridge

Lower Hutt

Putaruru

Mana

Otorohanga

Upper Hutt

Morrinsville

Wellington North

Thames-Hauraki

Wellington South

Tauranga

South Island Northern South Island Nelson Marlborough Greymouth Canterbury Region Ashburton Christchurch Timaru Oamaru Southern Region Alexandra Balclutha Dunedin Gore Taieri

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Settling

to sleep

You have finally made it beyond the letter-box with your newborn. You are feeling pretty proud of yourself for getting out and about between feeds, poos and spews and you even have your own shirt on the right way round. But then some dear old lady spies your little ‘freshie’ and as she peers into your pram, she can’t resist asking, “Is he a good baby?” Then that dreaded next question, “Does he sleep all night?” Suddenly you are hit by a wave of self-doubt. You wonder, “Should my baby be sleeping longer?” This isn’t helped by all the baby sleep programs advertising how to teach your baby to sleep “all night”. Especially when you read that babies can sleep eight hours or twelve hours or whatever is being promised. Or that you can expect your baby to give you a full night’s sleep when he is just a few weeks old – if you just follow the right “method”. Firstly, “all night” in baby sleep studies is defined as five hours, so if your baby has ever slept in a five-hour stretch, whether the sun is shining or the moon is up,

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you can quite honestly claim “yes he is sleeping all night”. (Just mutter “sometimes” under your breath). Of course, all babies are unique little individuals and you may have hit the sleeping baby jackpot. If your baby is sleeping a longer stretch over night and is gaining weight and contented, that’s perfectly fine – just please try not to brag too much to new mothers who aren’t getting sleep yet. However, very few babies can sleep longer than two or three hours in the early weeks – day or night – so if you are feeling pressure around your newborn’s sleep (or lack of it), please relax. Here are some very good reasons your baby shouldn’t be sleeping ‘all night’ just yet.

Newborn tummies are teeny tiny Look at your baby’s little clenched fist – at first your newborn’s stomach will only hold a teaspoon of milk but by about ten days, their tiny tummy will have stretched to about the size of their fist. This means that they will need frequent feeds for at least the first few weeks and even a few months or longer to get their daily quota of nourishment during this time of rapid growth and development.

Also, breast milk is very efficiently digested so your new baby will need to feed between eight and twelve times in a twenty-four hour period – day and night. Your breasts also need this frequent stimulation to establish milk production: there is more breast development happening during the first few weeks so by watching your baby’s early hunger signals and letting him feed accordingly, you will “set” your milk production at a higher level. This means that by feeding your baby as frequently as he needs, once their tummy stretches and their nervous system matures, they will enjoy your abundant milk supply and will naturally start to sleep longer.

Light sleep is safe sleep (it’s smart sleep too!) The younger your baby, the more light (active) sleep they will have and the more frequently they will arouse from sleep. Light sleep plays an important role in brain development as there is an increase in the production of certain nerve proteins – the building blocks of the brain – and blood flow to the brain nearly doubles relative to the deepest sleep state. According to researchers such as Professor James McKenna from the Mother-Baby Sleep Laboratory, these frequent arousals are a part of an infant’s survival mechanism and may play a protective role against SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome). Babies need to arouse if there is a breathing obstruction, or if they are too hot or cold (both SIDS risk factors).

Touch is as important a nutrient as food Touch is the first sense to develop, just days after conception, and is important for a whole lifetime. It stimulates growth hormones, as well as those that relieve stress, encourage brain development and promote bonding and attachment. Your newborn needs the input of your loving touch day and night. So, as you snuggle them close in the wee small hours, consider how your touch, especially when you snuggle skin to skin, is helping them develop important brain connections that will enhance learning. You are helping them grow and you are boosting the chemistry of attachment that is setting foundations for a lifetime of loving relationships. If you are feeling pressured that your newborn “should” be sleeping longer, try to imagine if your baby slept twelve hours at night and there were no night-time cuddles or touch – this could reduce his sensory input by up to fifty percent. However, if your baby naturally sleeps longer stretches, chances are he will feed more often and expect more cuddles during the day to get his “quota” of loving touch. You can also offer more touch through baby wearing and infant massage.

Your baby’s brain doesn’t know day from night Newborns don’t have an established circadian rhythm or body clock. Being able to establish a pattern of day and night depends on neurological development. This means your baby could take up to twelve weeks before he settles into a more predictable pattern of longer sleeps at night and waking during the day. You can help this along by keeping lights dim at night and talking quietly, taking walks outside during the day, baby wearing and gently offering feeds during the day if he sleeps longer than three or four hours. But please be patient, the more you try and force your baby, the longer it can take for his natural rhythms to establish. Meanwhile, keep your “to-do” list short and try and catch up on sleep or at least rest when your baby naps.

Why do babes wake? There are many reasons for babies waking, from hunger or discomfort to separation anxiety and, just as your baby needs food to grow, they also need the stimulation of your touch to help the development of their nervous system, their brain, their digestive system and for emotional reassurance. These are all legitimate reasons for your baby to signal that they need you, day or night.

Why does “self-settling” matter (actually it doesn’t) A study by Wendy Middlemiss at the University of North Texas, showed that babies who were left to cry while undergoing sleep training (falling asleep without comfort from parents), released high levels of cortisol, a stress hormone. And, even when these babies fell asleep without protesting (after three days of crying to sleep), their cortisol levels remained elevated. This means that although sleep training had achieved a “self-settling” baby, the infants were still distressed.

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Neurobiologist Bruce Perry explains this process as a “defeat response”. Normally when humans feel threatened, our bodies flood with stress hormones and we go into “fight-or-flight” mode. But there is a third survival response. Babies can’t fight and they can’t flee, so they communicate their distress by crying. When infant cries are ignored, this trauma elicits a “freeze” or “defeat” response. Middlemiss and her team found babies eventually abandon their crying even though their brain is flooded with stress hormones. Paediatrician William Sears calls this the “shut-down syndrome” – the baby’s nervous system shuts down the emotional pain and the striving to reach out. This is a basic survival mechanism to preserve homeostasis, not a sign that you have “taught” a baby to self-settle or sleep. So, if you are cuddling or rocking or your baby needs a breastfeed to fall asleep, whatever their age, you are not failing and you are not failing your baby by neglecting to “teach” them a skill (as self-settling is presented). You can’t teach a baby to walk before their little muscles are developed enough; you can’t teach them to talk before their oral structures and the brain wiring that enables this are present and they won’t be able to truly “self soothe” no matter how long you leave them to cry themselves to sleep, until they have developed the brain structures and cognitive skills that enable emotional regulation – in other words, the ability to calm themselves when they become upset. Infancy is a time of rapid development; a time when tiny brains are being wired. Babies need our help to learn how to regulate their emotions, meaning that when we respond and soothe their cries, we

help them understand that when they are upset, they can calm down. As we respond to babies, we are also encouraging the development of brain connections that make it physiologically possible for them to react appropriately to stressful situations and to switch off a stress response more quickly. According to a longitudinal study of school-aged children, responsive nurturing encourages the development of the hippocampus, a region of the brain that is key to memory and stress modulation. This means that by responding to your baby now, when they are older, they will have a better capacity to soothe themselves and calm down if they feel upset, angry or anxious. 

Pinky McKay An International Board certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) and ex-Parents Centre mum, with a busy private practice in Melbourne, Pinky is a best-selling author with four titles published by Penguin Random House. She is a sought after media commentator as well as a guest and keynote speaker at seminars for Health professionals and parents in Australia and internationally. Pinky writes for a number of publications around the world.

“Suddenly I am absolutely loving motherhood. Thank you so much for opening my eyes to this magical journey – there are no words to thank you enough.” - Emily

www.pinkymckay.com

48 kiwiparent – supporting kiwi parents through the early years

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Six principles for protecting a baby’s life: Face Up For all sleeps, babies must be slept on their backs. Their wake-up reflexes are strongest in this position. Since babies have been slept on their back, the rates of SUDI has dropped dramatically.

Face Clear Babies must be free of all loose coverings, including bibs, pillows, loose swaddling, loose sheets, bumpers, soft surfaces, teddies and toys.

Smoke free Smoking in pregnancy reduces oxygen to the baby, impacting on its development in many areas. The baby becomes used to low oxygen and once born is less likely to trigger its wake-up reflex in low oxygen, alarm situations.

Breastfed

Sweet

dreams Parents are on the receiving end of so much scary advice and conflicting information about infant sleep. We take a look at what the recommendations are for babies sleeping safely. Around 60 babies die each year from SUDI (Sudden Unexplained Death of an Infant), and most are preventable. All babies need their parents help to ensure they sleep comfortably and safely as they cannot do this for themselves. They have huge physical differences from adults making them vulnerable to incorrect sleeping positions: largely proportioned heads, limited neck strength, nose-only breathers, larger tongues, smaller faces and loose jaw joints. Ordinary things can become sleep hazards for babies as they grow, and placing babies in unsafe positions can be why they get into trouble later in their sleep. Ordinary things can be dangerous: pillows, soft items, loose covers, adult bedding, soft surfaces, mattresses tipping sideways, being propped up, couches, people in the same bed, bulky or tight wrapping, an unusual neck position, pressure on their chest, alcohol, drugs and partying.

50 kiwiparent – supporting kiwi parents through the early years

Breastfed babies have a stronger immune system, get sick less often, and have strengthened vital systems.

Close by with own space Sleeping babies close by and in their own space protects babies from SUDI. It allows babies to be close enough to alert you of their need and for you to respond. It also ensures they have their own safe space specific to their needs as a baby.

Handled gently Gentle handling protects babies from brain damage at a critical stage. Never shake a baby. Even a single shake can cause bleeding in and around the brain. 

Remember most SUDI is preventable Babies are at risk if: They are under six months. They are more vulnerable due to: –– Smoking in pregnancy. –– Born before 36 weeks. –– Birth weight less that 2550 grams. –– Influence of Alcohol or drugs. They are in unsafe sleeping situations. For further reading www.changeforourchildren.co.nz

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Fussy

foodies

– a normal developmental milestone?

Fussy eating, much like many other challenges that children throw at us, is really just another developmental milestone. The issue is, unlike crawling, learning to use the toilet, and saying our alphabet – fussy eating is rarely seen as part of a milestone. Much the same as other developmental milestones, if not harnessed for the power of good, it can lead to some pretty negative consequences. Prolonged fussy eating can cause nutritional deficiency, behavioural issues, slowed developmental progress, delayed speech, poor sleeping, and more. Fussy eating blindsides many of us. We go from having these amazing food machines who demolish everything in sight, smearing food over their face and chair, getting half down their front. Then suddenly “bam!” – food is getting chucked onto the floor, tantrums are common

52 kiwiparent – supporting kiwi parents through the early years

place, and meal time becomes a lesson in hostage negotiation. If we know what to look for however, it need not be so frustrating. Fussy eating signifies two developmental changes– independence and self-awareness. Whilst fussy eating can appear at any age or stage, it most commonly begins around two points in the early childhood years; nine to ten months old, and 15 to 24 months old.

The first challenge – 9 to 10 months The nine to ten-month-old fussy eating trigger is a move to independence. Around this age children are mastering crawling, and some are nearly walking! On the verge of toddlerhood, these babies are beginning to interact with the world on their own. Frequently, parents are completely unaware of this fussy eating stage. Focused on supporting baby to crawl or catching

Try these tips for babies: Do it themselves To promote independence give your baby a spoon for liquid foods, allowing them to self-feed, and add finger food to their diet . If you are worried about mess, or that your little one won’t manage to get any food in their mouth, try taking turns. Give them a spoon, you can “preload” it, then they can try one mouthful alternated with a spoonful from you.

Let them play Being able to touch a food first, and squish it through fingers, makes it less alien and scary. Once kids get to three or four years old you don’t want to encourage this so much. But as a baby, this is how they learn and feel safe. that first step, the world of starting solids is now firmly in the past. A key signal for this stage is baby turning his head away, or pushing your hand out of the way, when being spoon-fed. This can be because baby is trying to take ownership of only eating when they are feeling hungry, or because they would like to take control of physically feeding themselves. The other problem you come up against at this stage, also links in with learning to crawl and walk. Our primal instincts are very strong at this young age, and one of them is to be innately fearful of colourful and bitter tasting fruits and vegetables. Historically these would have most likely been poisonous. When a child became mobile they were more likely to wonder off and put something potentially fatal in their mouth. This inbuilt mechanism makes a child naturally averse to putting these foods in their mouth. Yay for evolution…boo for fussy eating!

Allay their fears Eating a meal as a family, or showing your little one that you can eat the food and be fine, is often all it takes at this age to allay fears over weird looking foods! Just remember for proper hygiene and oral health, use your own spoon rather than sharing the same one you put in your baby’s mouth.

The next challenge – 15 months to two years The next stage where fussy eating becomes common is a bit more spread out. As children age their developmental stages stretch out a lot more and we see a fair bit of variation from child to child. This means the selfawareness stage can start happening anywhere between 15 months and two years. The premise here is that around this age children develop a sense of self, and with a sense of self comes the awareness that you can influence other people’s actions.

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Little kids are switched on. It only takes one or two times of you rewarding or bribing them with a treat food before they figure out how to use behaviour to constantly receive a bribe. We give our child a treat to keep them quiet whilst we race around the supermarket. The next time we go they are ready, in the car park, screaming the place down. They now know they can demand unhealthy food from you by changing their behaviour.

Try these tips for toddlers

This will soon translate to the dinner table – why can’t we demand these “treat” foods here as well? Likewise with the “eat your bean and you can have dessert”... Usually turns into “ok lick the tip of your bean and you can have dessert”. Then finally “oh look you allowed the bean to be on your plate – here is your dessert”. See how quickly you went from being in control…to them in control? If they are hungry enough for dessert – they should have finished dinner. Very simple.

Simple rules are best

But don’t lose hope if your child is flat our refusing to put peas near their mouth. It can take up to 15 times of a child seeing a food before they will even give it a go. It can be a further seven times before they will enjoy that food. If a child has not eaten their meal, cover it and keep it in the fridge. That way it can be reheated when they say they are hungry later on. Do this consistently and your child will learn that no amount of willpower will result in a different meal being made for them.

54 kiwiparent – supporting kiwi parents through the early years

Get real with yourself Are you ready to make a change? If not you will just end up making allowances “oh just this one time”… “I’m sure not every rule needs to be followed”. Your child will pick up on this weakness and all your efforts will come undone.

Do create rules that actually have meaning. Some simple rules we have at meal times are: Dinner is always eaten at the table and where possible eaten together as a family. The dining table is a TV, cell phone, and computerfree space. Everyone sits at the table until the last person has finished eating. You don’t have to eat, but you do need to sit there and join in with family time. We have a high chair still set up for our three-yearold, it is just a warning that she will lose her big girl chair privileges if she leaves the table while we are still eating. Everyone has the same meal (unless sick – in which case it is usually a variation of that meal).

Share control Allow your child to control how much they are eating and give them responsibilities at meal times. For example they could help get their bib, pick their plate, even choose the vegetables being cooked. But you take back control of what is being offered to your child. You are not a restaurant. You say what foods are in the house and what foods get served at meals.

No bribes or rewards Eliminate food as a bribe or reward. Find alternative ways of showing your children appreciation. Examples include play and time-based rewards. Ask yourself, is food bribing really having the desired effect?

New tastes

Hannah Gentile Hannah is a registered Nutritionist with a Master’s in Human Nutrition. She is passionate about helping fellow parents with early childhood feeding frustrations, starting solids, pregnancy, and conception nutrition. Pop along to www.nourishedbynature.co.nz to sign up for her September toddler fussy eating talk. Numbers are limited.

When your child tries something new, calmly wait for them to have a good go of it, then give them a smile and a little clap and congratulate them. Then go back to eating. Acknowledge their success positively, but give them space.

Find out more about 'Moving and Munching' classes – exploring baby's first foods and developmental stages. www.parentscentre.org.nz

No negotiations Leave negotiation for the workplace. Enjoy your meal. Relax with what your child is doing. Be happy in the knowledge you have provided them with good quality and varied foods. They will eat it – just maybe not all the time. 

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Don’t

eat that!

The thing is, little children are curious about the taste, texture, and smell of all the different things around them. After all, wanting to know more abut their environment and experiencing life with all their senses is how they learn. But around 65% of calls to the New Zealand National Poisons Centre relate to children aged under five and preschoolers aged one to three years are the most likely age group to be poisoned. About 20% of families with preschool children will experience at least one poisoning incident each year and most poisonings occur in the child’s own home. Early morning and late afternoon are peak poisoning times, coinciding with the busiest time in family households when adults are trying to do a million things at once.

Why do so many children get poisoned? Children love to mimic the adults in their lives and often think they are helping by cleaning or taking medicines. In fact, little ones often get confused and mistake medicines and even some poisons for lollies. A packet of colourful pills left in an open handbag can be irresistible to prying fingers, as can brightly coloured cleaning products, which can look enticingly like soft drinks. Keep all chemicals and medicines in their original containers, with the label intact and never store it in a food or drink container. Families don’t always keep pace with their child’s rapidly changing ability to climb and reach. They develop so quickly that it can be hard to keep up, suddenly your toddler can climb onto furniture and reach places that were inaccessible only a week before. Even very young children can be good climbers, and surprise their parents by getting to things thought to be safely out of reach. A recurring problem noted by the National Poisons Centre is the accessibility of harmful substances around the home – products that

58 kiwiparent – supporting kiwi parents through the early years

are not put away straight after use or those that are not stored or labelled properly. Caregivers are also not always aware of how poisonous some every day items are – did you know that Arum lilies and iris plants that grow in many family gardens and public parks are harmful to children? But don’t despair, there are plenty of things you can do to make your home safer and prevent accidental poisoning with medicines and chemicals.

Managing medicines Childhood poisonings often occur when a child is sick and there are suddenly new medicines in the house – and the parents are stressed with a sick child. Pay special attention to putting medicines away after use – out of sight and out of reach of children – and never refer to medicines as lollies or sweets. If possible, choose junior strength or smaller packaging sizes as this can help reduce the chance of serious poisoning if a child was to swallow some. Keep all medications out of reach of children, even if they have child resistant packaging. Remember, child resistant caps are not child proof. Dispose carefully all medicines that are no longer used or needed. To safely get rid of medicines, talk to your local pharmacist, they will usually be able to dispose of medicines for you.

Chemical risk Keep all chemicals and cleaning products out of sight and out of reach of children, preferably locked away. You should keep all chemicals in their original containers, with the label intact and never decant them into a food or drink container. Chemicals should be stored well away from food as this reduces the chance of accidental poisoning, and helps teach children that medicines and chemicals are not food. As soon as you have finished using any chemicals or cleaning product, put them straight back in their storage place. A significant proportion of childhood poisonings occur when chemicals have been left out after use. Carefully dispose of chemicals

that are no longer needed – contact the National Poisons Centre or your local city council for advice on how to do this safely.

Top 10 poisonous plants in New Zealand

The problem with foreign objects Some objects are just not meant to be swallowed, but children don’t know this are often interested in tasting something new and interesting to them. A foreign object is something that is not normally meant to enter the body. They can be swallowed, causing the airway or gastrointestinal tract to become blocked. If the airway becomes blocked the patient may be unable to breathe. Children may also insert objects in their nose or ear.

Arum Lily

Children account for over 75% of foreign body calls in New Zealand, and the majority of these occur in children under five years. Large or strangely shaped objects are more likely to get stuck, and objects greater than 16mm may not pass through the narrow opening of the stomach. The following things are most harmful to little ones if swallowed or poked into noses or ears. Magnets – if two are swallowed, they can attract each other across membranes causing damage. Button batteries – these contain corrosive substances that can cause severe internal burns if the battery leaks. They can also produce electrical discharge causing tissue injury.

Black Nightshade

Coins – these are often big enough to cause blockages and some can cause metal toxicity if they do not pass naturally. Sharp objects – knives, earrings, blades and drawing pins can cause cuts to the gastrointestinal tract. They may pierce right through into the surrounding areas.

Euphorbia

Iris

Oleander

Agapanthus

Lead objects – these can cause lead toxicity if they do not pass naturally from the gastrointestinal tract. Expandable objects – toys that grow and things like tampons absorb water so they may become bigger once swallowed. Some objects may grow to a size that lets them become stuck.

Also... Ongaonga (New Zealand Tree Nettle), Hemlock, Foxglove, and Rhus.

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Some things are not what they seem. Try to identify which are foods, medicines or chemicals. (If you guessed wrongly, imagine the trouble children can get themselves into!) A: cocoa powder, B: aspirin, C: mints, D: anti-bacterial medication, E: chocolate candy, F: fabric dye, G: nicotine gum, H: rat poison, I: laxative, J: anticonvulsants, K: fudge,

L: mint, M: diclofenac sodium, 60 kiwiparent â&#x20AC;&#x201C; supporting kiwi parents through the early yearsN: rat poison, O: toilet bleach, P: candy Photo: Safekids Aotearoa www.safekids.nz

What should I do if I think my child has swallowed something harmful? It depends on the size and type of object, and if the patient has any symptoms. If the child is choking immediately call an ambulance – dial 111

You call us for help

If the child is sleepy or unconscious but is still breathing: Call an ambulance – place them in the recovery position, lie them on their side (not their back) and ensure their head is lower than their body. If the child is not breathing or does not have a pulse: Call an ambulance and apply cardio-pulmonary resuscitation (CPR). If the child is not choking or showing sings of distress: Check with your Poison Information Centre (0800 POISON) or other medical professional to see what treatment is necessary. Bring the product container to the phone if you can.

DO NOT Make the child vomit without advice from a medical professional Vomiting is not effective at removing a swallowed substance and can sometimes be inhaled into the lungs. This risk is increased by: Products that can froth (shampoo, dishwashing liquid). Products that are light, and easily inhaled (petrol, oils). Children who often become drowsy after vomiting. Some products like cleaners can cause burns to the throat. Vomiting increases the risk of burns occurring, and may also cause more significant lung injury if inhaled.

DO NOT Give fluids unless instructed to do so by the Poisons Centre This may cause the person to vomit (see above). For some toxic substances, this can help the substance to be absorbed into the body and cause poisoning. Rinse or wipe the mouth out to clear away any remaining substance. 

Prepared with assistance from the New Zealand National Poisons Centre: 0800 POISON (0800 764 766)

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Win an ambulance kit Be in to win one of three of our ambulance first aid kits, when you book on a St John Child First Aid training course held between 1 July 2017 and 30 September 2017.

www.poisons.co.nz

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Election 2017

– why should we care? On Saturday 23 September 2017, Kiwis will head to the polls to vote in the 52nd General Election. After the tumultuous elections in America and Europe, politics seems to have become something of a blood sport fuelled by twitter rants, sound bites, fake news, alternative facts and hyperbole. So, as we face our own election decisions, it is easy to feel disenchanted with the spectacle. Does politics really have much relevance to New Zealand families? The democratic and legislative process we live under shapes the country we live in, it moulds the nature of our world and creates the environment in which society (hopefully) thrives. You only have to look into your own lives to see what difference policies have on the parenting environment – health and education policies, paid parental leave, maternity services provision, economic environment – there are hundreds of bits of policy and legislation that that affect you and your family. Some people decide not to vote because they feel isolated or disenfranchised from the process: “I am not interested in politics”, “What they get up to in Wellington doesn’t affect me!”. Others have viewed the northern hemisphere political spectacle with dismay and decided that democracy has been irreversibly tarnished. But, in reality, whether you love our politicians or despair of them they still play a huge part in how our lives play out day by day.

Did you know? New Zealand was the first nation in the world to give the vote to women. Kate Sheppard is recognised as the leader of the fight to win the right for New Zealand women to vote. She and other pioneering women campaigned so effectively that in 1893 New Zealand became the first self-governing nation in the world to grant the vote to all women over 21.

Voting is not compulsory in New Zealand, but in the period after the Second World War levels exceeded 90% as voters took an active interest in the future of the country depleted by the war years. At the other end of the scale, the 2011 Election in New Zealand was notable for its very low voter turnout. This election – in fact every election – is important for New Zealand families. Families have important decisions to make for the future. In order to make good decisions we need to be informed beforehand and then active on election day. We need politicians to create a supportive environment where parenting is valued. In the spirit of informed consent, we’ve compiled some questions

62 kiwiparent – supporting kiwi parents through the early years

for political leaders to consider. We did our best to make the questions relevant but you will have others and we encourage you to make contact with your local MPs. Ask them the hard questions and then let us know your questions and their response, via our website or facebook page – other parents could well find their answers interesting. So, if you drive on national roads, have ever called on emergency services, have a child at school or preschool, have taken paid parental leave (PPL), enjoyed spending time in national parks, visited a public hospital or have given birth in New Zealand – get out and vote. Policies have already shaped our environment and will continue to do so after the elections in September.

Questions for our politicians Parenting Environment

Education

Taking into account housing affordability, the rising cost of food and power and high rates of inflation, what is your party's view on creating the right environment where mothers and fathers can parent effectively?

What priority do you place on early childhood education versus the role of the parent in raising their child and what policies does your party have to allow parents sufficient time with their children for attachment and connection to occur?

Family Violence

Subsidised childcare

What will your party do to ensure facilities and resources are available for families to help those at risk free themselves from violence?

Affordable childcare is a barrier to many parents returning to the workforce. Will your party support and extend provisions for subsidised childcare?

Child poverty According to a report released by Unicef in June, the wellbeing of New Zealand’s children ranks at only 34 out of 41 developed countries. How does your party plan to improve outcomes for young New Zealanders caught in the poverty trap?

Paid Parental Leave Does your party support paid parental leave (PPL) in its current form or have plans to extend the provision? How do you plan to support families who do not qualify for PPL?

Nappy Disposal System

Breastfeeding How does your party plan to encourage and better support breastfeeding women?

Health Money invested in early intervention and primary health care is expected to deliver outcomes. What policies does your party have to ensure a high standard of health care is available for all New Zealand families?

Childbirth Education Classes Parents Centres believes that all parents should have access to childbirth education. What will your party do to ensure childbirth education classes can be universally delivered throughout New Zealand by qualified childbirth educators? 

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Put your

best foot forward It’s so exciting to see your baby getting ready for those tentative first steps, but don’t rush off to buy that first pair of super cute tiny shoes until baby is walking confidently. The majority of a tiny baby’s body warmth escapes through their heads and feet, so keeping those areas protected with soft socks and a hat will help keep your baby comfortable and warm. Sometimes fussiness, difficulty sleeping, decreased appetite and poor weight gain can be associated with a child being too cold, so putting on a pair of socks could help. A good rule of thumb when dressing your infant is to add one more layer of clothing than you are comfortable wearing. Baby socks and booties are more than just cute. They help regulate your infant’s temperature as well as keep little feet protected from things like sunburn and potentially harmful sharp objects. But even though socks are sometimes necessary, they can also pose health risks to your newborn, so it’s important to know when and why you should put socks on your baby.

Barefoot is best Most experts agree barefoot is still best for your baby’s foot development as this helps build arches and strengthen ankles. Toddlers tend to keep their heads up more when they are walking barefoot. The feedback they get from the ground through the soles of their feet means there is less need to look down, which is what puts them off balance and causes them to fall down. Walking barefoot also develops the muscles and ligaments of the foot and increases the strength of the foot’s arch. Research also shows that learning to walk barefoot improves proprioception (the awareness of where we are in relation to the space around us) and contributes to your toddler developing good posture. While it’s important for babies to wear socks when it is cool, paediatricians recommend that babies go barefoot so they can wiggle all of their toes so it’s best to allow your baby to go without socks as often as possible, either in a heated room or on warm summer days.

64 kiwiparent – supporting kiwi parents through the early years

Stepping out in their first shoes The human foot at birth is not a miniature version of an adult foot. In fact, it consists of a mass of cartilage, which, over a period of years, ossifies to become the 28 bones that exist in the adult human foot. This process is not complete until the late teens, so it is crucial that footwear – when worn – is well chosen. Shoes are mainly worn so that little feet can be protected, especially when walking outdoors or any place where soft soles and fragile toes are at risk. Putting shoes on your little one sooner won’t help them learn to walk any faster or better. In fact, shoes that have hard, inflexible soles can actually make it harder for baby to learn to walk because they restrict natural foot movement. Once your baby starts walking confidently, choose shoes that: Are lightweight and flexible – you should be able to feel baby’s toes through them. Remember to avoid hard, stiff shoes that restrict foot movement. Fit well – they aren’t too loose or too tight and made from leather or natural fabric to allow baby’s feet to breathe. Have non-skid soles that will prevent slipping and sliding. Once you graduate to buying more sturdy outdoor walking shoes, there are a few more things to take into account.

Flexible nonslip soles You should be able to bend the toe of the shoe up about 40 degrees easily. Look for a shoe with good traction to help keep baby on her feet. Nonskid leather or rubber soles, especially those with grooves or bumps, will keep baby from slipping as they become more proficient at walking – yet it won’t be so groundgripping that it’s hard to lift their feet. Even dressy, special occasion shoes should have good traction.

What to look for in baby socks Chose socks that aren’t too tight, as these can reduce circulation and interfere with normal foot development. Look for socks made of natural materials without rubber or elastic bands, and make sure you place your finger between the fabric and your baby’s skin to make sure the sock doesn’t fit too tight. If your little one is starting to find their feet, dress them in socks or booties with non-skid soles so they don’t get frustrated and slip over.

Designed for comfort First and foremost, the shoe should be snug without leaving marks when removed. The shoes should offer firm support but be padded on the heel backs and around the ankles to minimise rubbing, as well as on the bottom inside sole for comfort. Buy shoes that adjust to baby’s foot: laces, velcro and snaps that you can adjust make for a more comfortable shoe.

Fasten securely Whether they’re fastened with laces, velcro or snaps, be sure baby’s walking shoes are easy for you to put on their feet, but not so easy that they come loose on their own, especially once they are toddling around and getting up speed. Avoid slip-on shoes – while they might be easy to put on, they are easy to take off, too. 

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A growing

family

business

Sleeping like a baby… the reality is often far from the blissful picture of a sleeping infant we have before we actually have a baby! Before the arrival of my first child, I had no idea how hard it could be to get a baby to sleep or to stay asleep. My research hadn’t really gone too far beyond birth. And when I did start reading about sleep, so many books horrified me, with all their rules and routines and reasons to make a new mum feel like a failure. But it was a lucky moment in a bookshop that not only changed my parenting confidence, it changed the direction for our family’s future and eventually a much bigger change in how many New Zealand families start their parenting journey too. In a state of exhaustion, I was browsing the parenting section, hoping for the genius tip that would help Jack settle but also something which resonated with me and the mum I wanted to be. No stressful rules, nothing to make me feel I wasn’t doing it ‘right’ and to give me confidence. I randomly picked up ‘The Happiest Baby on the Block’, by Dr Harvey Karp. After reading the first chapter, I felt had found the answer! Once I started using Dr Karp’s five S’s, Jack was a different baby and I was a different mother. Using both swaddling and white noise (radio static from an old ghetto-blaster!) worked for us and Jack would be asleep in minutes. My coffee group thought I was bonkers! Over the next couple of years, I bought copies of this book for anyone I knew who had a baby. I sewed swaddles for myself and friends, as there were none worth buying. And when I had my second baby two years later, it was the five S’s from day one. Even though Tom suffered from reflux, Dr Karp’s formula gave us the confidence to cope. And still people thought white noise was crazy and there were still no swaddles to buy! So, rather than return to work fulltime, I made it my mission

66 kiwiparent – supporting kiwi parents through the early years

to spread the word about how to get babies to sleep. I developed a business plan to launch The Sleep Store, sharing lots of well-researched knowledge free of charge and selling carefully chosen sleep tools to make the journey into parenthood less of a challenge. The early years of The Sleep Store were such a juggle. By the time my husband Matt joined the business full-time, we had three children, were attending Playcentre two days a week and growing our business rapidly working from home. Five years later we had moved to a bigger house, renovated, had three shipping containers in the driveway and four children. Chaos! We have now been in business for over 11 years and are still driven on a daily basis by the importance of sleep, and how being able to get babies to sleep makes life easier for new parents. Infant sleep advice and the way that parents share their experiences have come a long way in the last ten years. When we started The Sleep Store it was before Facebook! Now there is so much more information available and an endless list of products that promise so much. That hasn’t meant that the challenges of being a parent to a young child have eased – in many ways it’s harder now to cut through all the clutter to find a clear solution or choose guidance that is right for each individual. We’ve stayed true to the philosophy through the years and work hard to try and get to the core of what parents need.

We’ve seen the trend in recent years to get parents to pay for the skills of a sleep consultant or an online service. Tempting as it would be to put a price on the advice we offer, we continue to keep this free of charge. I believe that with support and the right information parents can master the skills they need and feel empowered to do it themselves. We empower families daily with our sleep resources and sleep support program. There are more than 100 articles on our website, covering all the ages and stages of infant sleep and our Sleep Coaches moderate three Sleep Support Facebook Groups, offering a safe and supportive space to ask questions and connect with other parents. I am thrilled to bits that white noise is now one of the most common tips new parents are given to help settle their newborns. We are also passionate about all the wonderful ways parents can now swaddle. I no longer need to sew my own swaddles on the sewing machine at the dining room table, thank goodness. And as our babies grew, so did our range and the age our products cater for. We are passionate about making safe sleep affordable for all New Zealand families, and always

have a budget option in our sleeping bags. We also work with a number of community groups and charities, such as supporting ‘Give a Kid a Blanket’ and supplying donated sleeping bags to teen parent units. Our business has grown to support our family, and we employ 13 wonderful local parents too. We are committed to a fair and just world, paying everyone at least the Living Wage and being committed supporters of Oxfam. Recent fundraising for Oxfam has helped projects like brining clean water to maternity units, disaster relief in the Pacific and water tanks to villages. We’re still a family business but we’ve grown. I no longer work from the dining room table but in our office next to our warehouse in New Lynn. Still close to home and where our children are at school, so Matt and I can juggle working with all the demand of a busy family life. 

Louise Tanguay Aucklander Louise is the passionate founder of The Sleep Store which she operates with her partner Matt Anderson. They are proud parents of Jack (12) and Tom (9), and Ben (7) and Eddie (4).

Oh baby – Birth, babies & motherhood uncensored By Kathy Fray. Published by Random House RRP$45 More than a decade after the first release of Oh Baby, Auckland midwife, Kathy Fray, has updated her best selling book of advice for parents with new babies. Honest, frank and very readable, this book has been written by a mother for other mothers. The fact that she is also an experienced midwife (having overseen another 500 births since the first book was published) gives the reader confidence that Kathy knows her subject matter well! Oh baby exudes realism and reassurance in equal measure and is refreshing in its guiltless honesty and practical approach.

Reading this book feels a lot like chatting with a trusted aunty – or your own mum. It provides supportive, caring advice in a non-judgmental way. It also serves as a medical reference encyclopaedia about all things that relate to mother and baby in the antenatal and postal period. Checked thoroughly by medical professionals, this book includes an extended section on labour and birth and has even more hints and tips for tired and anxious parents. A perfect book for first time parents, or anyone who feels they need a refresher online at www.kiwiparent.co.nz – kiwiparent course in birth and subscribe early parenting.

Budget savvy

toddler spaces

68 kiwiparent â&#x20AC;&#x201C; supporting kiwi parents through the early years

Recently, several of my friends with toddlers have asked me how I keep my toddler occupied at home. With winter looming and a second pregnancy in full force I have found that having a space that is just for him has been valuable for the whole family. I know what you’re thinking, “I don’t have the money for a fancy room makeover”, well, with a bit of kiwi ingenuity and creative thinking you may surprise yourself!

Color, color, color, up-cycle, color Toddlers love color! I started by choosing two main colors and working around them, orange and blue. Green goes really well with both colors so there are hints of it throughout the room. Once you decide on a color pallet you can look around your home and go op-shopping for cheap items that can be up-cycled for next to nothing. The best way to save money and make something original and fun is to do it yourself! On a side note, paint can be expensive if you don’t know where to look. Go to your local hardware store, pick your main color and buy a test pot. One test pot cost me $9 and it covered the drawers, mural, toy box, mobile and I had some to spare (notice that I chose a triangular pattern for the drawers and mural to save money on paint). Here are some examples of things that can be up-cycled:

Books into wall art Op-shops often give away children’s books, especially if they are damaged. One beautifully illustrated page from an old broken book can become a piece of wall art, either framed, taped to the wall or using a clip.

Furniture Ah, how I love second-hand furniture. This set of drawers was picked up from a garage sale for around $30. A bit of DIY (after some Pinterest-ing) and my son now has a brilliant bespoke dresser. The best thing about old wooden furniture is that it’s heavy and the drawers are often only able to be opened by an adult... no parent wants to clean up the contents of drawers off the floor all day long!

Lamps Lighting adds character and playfulness to a room, but it can be expensive. On the flip side, cheap secondhand lighting in a child’s room gives me the chills – electrical faults and all that. If you find a great lamp shade at an op-shop give yourself some peace of mind and buy a new, not-so-on-trend lamp from the likes of Kmart or The Warehouse for around $7 and switch out the shades. Easy peasy.

Fabric I will confess, I spent $70 on quilting fabric for my son’s bedroom. It was brand new, as I was a working, nesting mum-to-be. Confession over. (“The fabric made a cot

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So, what ways can I change my toddler’s living space to keep him/her occupied? Soft floor furnishings My son, being the adventurous type, learnt how to escape his cot at 10 months. So, we decided that for his safety, we would invest in a floor bed. It worked out well in many ways, but the main benefit is that he now has easy access to a warm, comfortable spot where he can read his books and play during the day. His bed is his haven, which makes night time easy and means that we can join him on the floor to read with him before bed. You could just as easily use a mattress on the floor, but instead we asked a builder friend to make our son a house bed. It is so cool. I want one. On a wet day, we can throw a sheet over it and use our $2 shop lights to play inside it like a tent. Hours of fun have been had in his house bed. And, why not be a bit clever when it comes to friends making things. For example, share skills with each other. Some friends of ours made the bed and I shot some family photos for them in return. Win, win. quilt and matching bunting so it did go a long way...” she says, as she tries to justify spending that much!) Nowadays, our family lives on one wage so secondhand fabric is my new best friend. Think outside the box when it comes to fabric. This tee-pee was made using $5 curtains from an op-shop. Using bamboo stakes and twine from the garden section at The Warehouse and my ever faithful glue gun, I made three no-sew teepees for less than $30. I was also able to refurbish an old rocking horse purchased for $10 at The Salvation Army Opportunity Store using real leather from a secondhand jacket. All off cuts were used to make torn fabric bunting as well. Up-cycle people...your toddler will love you for it.

70 kiwiparent – supporting kiwi parents through the early years

A nice soft rug in the center of the room and a cuddly bean bag inside a tee pee are great ways to make the space extra comfortable and welcoming. Who doesn’t love a room where you can effortlessly lie anywhere you please and relax? (Especially when you are naturally already so close to the ground!)

Add a floor mirror Hours of entertainment from a simple, plastic mirror purchased for around $8 at The Warehouse. Emphasis on ‘plastic’, you don’t want anyone getting hurt while learning that they can’t climb inside the mirror to give themselves a hug! Put your toddler’s mirror at ground

level so they can poke faces, wave, learn expressions – the list goes on. I guarantee that a plastic mirror will change your life.

Hang things from the ceiling While your little one lays on their soft floor furnishings, help their imagination run wild by hanging things from or across the ceiling. I went for bunting, but you could make air balloons from Japanese lanterns, hang toys, make origami birds and hang them at different levels...the list goes on. Check out Pinterest for endless cheap ideas.

Books, books and more books Books occupy my son during the majority of his alone time. He absolutely loves them. Books can be purchased second hand from op-shops and as previously mentioned, a lot of stores will give them away. Hard-paged books are best for toddlers when it comes to alone time or self learning (giving them a good wipe down with Detol doesn’t hurt either). If any of their books are considered precious, keep them up high somewhere and for bedtimes only so that Mummy and Daddy can ensure their survival! For baby showers and kids’ birthdays, I give a book instead of a card, with well wishes written inside the front cover. It costs the same as a card and every time the book is read they are reminded of that special day. Book storage is a bit tricky with toddlers. I wanted my son to be able to access his books without my help and without the risk of him getting crushed by his own enthusiasm. So, rather than a book shelf, I went for an ottoman style box and lid that can be converted into another

easy to access soft furnishing.

Photos build bonds Photographs of family and friends with your toddler are a great way to solidify their relationships and remind them that they are loved. Attach a piece of blue tack or tape to the back so your little one can take the pictures down and kiss them or walk around with the photos saying “Mimi, Nana, Poppa”. You can talk to them about the people in the photos and how much the family loves them, establishing a bond with those who may live far away. As always, very cost effective.

‘Desperate occasion’ toys I have two or three toys that I keep in the cupboard and bring out on the more trying days. These ‘special’ toys work well as my son almost forgets that he owns them and it becomes like a present, keeping him entertained for a long time.

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Having a space that is just for my toddler has given him a sense of ownership and keeps his mind busy imagining and learning. I hope this article has been of assistance to you and sparks some excitement about creating a space for your child that will benefit the whole family. Happy up-cycling, bargain hunters! 

Leila Malthus Leila is a stay-at-home mum and wife who is passionate about creative exploration. Trained in computer graphics, Leila has a background in children’s television and film in the New Zealand animation industry. Being a mother has enabled her to stretch that creativity to benefit her family’s every day life through interior design, photography and illustration. Visit Leila on Instagram @leilamalthuscreative

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International family festival

coming to Kaitoke

The iconic Just So Festival from the UK is coming to New Zealand in February 2018. This family focused festival offers an array of literature, art, theatre, dance, music, comedy, circus, and creative adventures in a natural and safe setting. Underpinned by the Tribal Tournament, the most bonkers competition in the land, it takes audiences (from bumps to great grandparents) on a unique expedition of mischief and mayhem, to lands full of magical midnight feasts, curious creatures, raucous pillow fights, hidden retreats, top notch food and drink, and breathtaking beauty. As the founders of the festival, Sarah Bird and Rowan Hoban say, “If we don’t give you goosebumps, we are not doing it right”. Now in its eighth year in the UK, and after a sell-out inaugural year in Brazil 2016, Just So Festival New Zealand is proud to take its own place in the stunning natural setting of Kaitoke Regional Park in Upper Hutt – its tranquil atmosphere, with rivers you can swim in and a pristine natural rainforest, will leave the whole family relaxed and recharged. The festival will be the only arts camping festival in New Zealand dedicated solely to children and their families. All of the performances and workshops will be accessible and interactive to all to ensure that families have the opportunity to engage together in creative ways and to just enjoy communing together as much as possible, in nature, away from the outside world. Kaly Newman, the New Zealand producer with an arts and events background, hails from the UK and took her

72 kiwiparent – supporting kiwi parents through the early years

own son to the festival in the first couple of years of its inception. Having lived in Wellington for the past three years and appreciating the Kiwi outdoor lifestyle and love of creativity in the Capital, it became clear that the Just So Festival could bring much joy to families in New Zealand. She says, “Just So Festival is completely unique and my son and I created wonderful memories there. Now that he is a teenager, I fondly look back on that moment in time where we sung, danced, dressed up, and laughed together, enjoying the sunshine and nature and the joyous festival environment – it was the perfect way to spend our summers”. The Just So Festival NZ runs from the 23rd – 25th February 2018 at Kaitoke Regional Park, Waterworks Road, SH2, Upper Hutt. Tickets are $180 for an adult weekend camping ticket, and $60 for a child’s weekend camping ticket. Underthrees go free.  www.justsofestivalnz.org

Win a family pass Win one of five free family passes just for Kiwiparent readers (2 Adult Weekend Tickets, plus 2 Child Weekend Tickets). Enter online at Kiwiparent.co.nz and follow the instructions. Entries must be received by 5pm August 29, 2017. Winners will be published in issue 280.

winners

Congratulations to the lucky winners From issue 278

Worry Bug Prize Packs

Philips Avent Breastpump

Sela Napflin Palmerston North

Ashleigh McDonald Palmerston North

Casey McCalee Palmerston North

Woolbabe Sleeping bag

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Visit www.resene.co.nz or call 0800 RESENE (737 363) to find your nearest Resene ColorShop.

X-Shot Bubble Ball Tonya Savage Auckland

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partners Partnering to support families Parents Centre is delighted to be working with The Sleep Store in a new partnership providing our families with great deals. All our members will receive a 20% discount off a huge range of products which will change month to month.

our partners to ensure that we can continue to deliver education and support to families across New Zealand on an ongoing basis. We are excited that The Sleep Store has joined our list of partners.

We are keen to work with family orientated companies and The Sleep Store fits these criteria perfectly having started at a family’s dining room table. The Sleep Store sells a wide range of products for newborns through to big kids, aimed at making parenthood enjoyable from the start. As a not-for-profit organisation we rely on

Taslim Parsons

Social Enterprise Manager Parents Centre New Zealand

Introducing The Sleep Store The Sleep Store has been helping babies (and tired parents) get more sleep for over ten years through our award-winning online store and expert infant sleep advice. We are proud to support Parents Centres and welcome members to The Sleep Store. In addition to our range that includes Woolbabe, Crane, Bobux and over 100 other high quality brands from New Zealand and around the world, you’ll find access to an extensive library of expert sleep advice. We believe every parent should have free access to the information they need to help their little one sleep. Browse over 200 sleep advice articles, guides and safe sleep tips plus join our sleep coach curated support groups on Facebook for parents of newborns, 4–12 month olds and children 12 months and over. Choosing to shop at The Sleep Store means that you are supporting a family business that’s committed to delivering the best range of infant sleep essentials and advice to tired parents and their children. Louise Tanguay, founder of The Sleep Store.

SUPPORTING HEALTHY BABY DEVELOPMENT

Johnson & Johnson For over 100 years, JOHNSON'S® baby has been dedicated to designing gentle and mild products, especially for baby. We continuously apply our knowledge and research to create innovative products with safety at their core. That's why parents and healthcare professionals around the world have trusted JOHNSON'S® baby to nurture the little ones in their care.

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Philips Avent Choosing Philips AVENT means you have the assurance of superior quality products, designed with you and baby’s needs in mind. Interchangeable design features mean products can be adapted to meet baby’s developing needs. Phone: 0800 104 401 www.philips.co.nz/AVENT

74 kiwiparent – supporting kiwi parents through the early years

Huggies online pregnancy and parenting The HUGGIES® website is about pregnancy and parenting. Check out features such as special offers, info on sleeping and settling, plus hundreds of recipes and kids activity ideas! And it’s all free to HUGGIES® Baby Club members. Phone: 0800 733 703 www.huggies.co.nz

supporting Kiwi parents

Life Pharmacy & Unichem Everyday Life and Unichem pharmacists provide their communities with Friendly professional health care and advice. With over 300 Pharmacies throughout NZ there's one of us in your community. www.lifepharmacy.co.nz www.unichem.co.nz

Au Pair Link New Zealand Since 2006 we've been flying loving au pairs from all corners of the globe to join busy Kiwi host families, providing quality in-home care and education for their little ones. Today we have hundreds of families enrolled in early learning programmes and staff across New Zealand. This means our customers benefit from a personal, safe and reliable service throughout New Zealand. www.aupairlink.co.nz

Fidelity Life From humble beginnings, Fidelity Life has become the countryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s largest locally owned and operated life insurance company. We believe good insurance cover gives you peace of mind that you, your family, your people and your business can be looked after financially if things go wrong. www.fidelitylife.co.nz

SHARE SHARE is New Zealand's leading network of experienced financial advisers, providing specialist insurance, investment, KiwiSaver and mortgage advice to all New Zealanders. SHARE has advisers around the country, for more information please call: 0800 02 00 55 or email pcnz@sharenz.com

0800 222 966 / www.babyonthemove.co.nz

PORSE Our babies are born with the need to connect. PORSE in-home educators, nannies and au pairs provide a calm and stable home environment to nurture close connected relationships, setting the foundation for lifelong learning. Phone: 0800 023 456 www.porse.co.nz

Baby On The Move Specialists in quality, affordable baby products that you can hire or purchase new. Our qualified team can help you select the correct restraint. Plus if you hire or buy from us we will install your car seat for FREE! Stores nationwide. Phone: 0800 222 966 www.babyonthemove.co.nz

Beef and Lamb Beef + Lamb New Zealand is responsible for the promotion of beef and lamb in New Zealand. The organisation is voluntarily funded by Kiwi farmers, retailers and processors, and focuses on promoting the nutritional aspects of lean red meat including the importance of iron during pregnancy and for infants and young children. For healthy recipe ideas using lean beef and lamb, visit: recipes.co.nz

JEWELLERY NZ

The Sleep Store Since 2006 The Sleep Store has been helping babies sleep with FREE expert sleep advice and a huge range of hand-picked baby, toddler and preschooler essentials. All with excellent customer service and prompt nationwide delivery. Recently voted the best online baby store. For details on the exclusive Parents Centre offers visit: www.thesleepstore.co.nz/ content/parentscentre

Mumma Bubba Jewellery A safe alternative to costume jewellery providing relief to tender gums, these products provide an innovative solution , to teething Accessorytroubles with a range Fashion essityseasonal, ! of colourful, fashionable ec N y b Ba accessories which young babies and their mums love. www.mummabubbajewellery.co.nz Silicone Jewellery Free of BPA & lead Dishwasher safe www.mummabubbajewellery.co.nz

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Co-created by Kathy, this utterly unique and well-proven attached sleep-bag is designed for 3-30 month olds ... teaching great sleep habits, and keeping them cosily secure in their cot, then transitioning to a bed. You’ll wonder how you ever did without one! BUY NOW VIA www.kathyfray.com

www.thesleepstore.co.nz

20% OFF COUPON! Use code PARENTS20 & save on selected items from The Sleep Store. To see which items you can use your coupon on & for further details go to thesleepstore.co.nz/content/parentscentre

Let your ideas loose all over your walls with Resene Write-on Wall Paint.

Get

writing!

76 kiwiparent – supporting kiwi parents through the early years

Simply apply over your existing light coloured wall paint. Then once dry and cured you can use whiteboard markers to write all over the wall without damaging the surface. And when it’s time to delete an idea just grab a soft cloth or whiteboard eraser, rub out the marker and start again. With Resene Write-on Wall Paint there’s no limit to your ideas.

0800 RESENE (737 363)

www.resene.co.nz

decades,

– and we

arenting!

lude:

because home-made is best for your baby

aland

-stay

and

ma for

mmes

nd’s

EA:

2 compact baby food freezing trays with lids. 1.2L capacity for maximum storage

Dads are ordinary men turned by love into heroes, adventurers, story tellers and life long friends

recipe e-guide with 27 recipes

To advertise in

for starting solids and beyond

Contact Cath Short: 04 233 2022 ex 8805 c.short@parentscentre.org.nz

Planepal-60x60mm-ad 2017-06-25 2.0.pdf

UPGRADE YOUR KID TO A FLATBED! C

25/06/17

7:11 PM

–

Happy Father’s Day to all the awesome Kiwi dads

–

From the Kiwiparent team

CMY

From $79.95 @ planepal.co.nz subscribe online at www.kiwiparent.co.nz –

kiwiparent

Shopping cart Conscious parenting – want to know more? Check out upcoming programmes at your local Parents Centre: www.parentscentre.org.nz Browse through the resources here: www.skip.org.nz Join ‘Conscious Parenting’ pages and groups on Facebook Research online and read, read, read!

78 kiwiparent – supporting kiwi parents through the early years

TAPSNA8935

The product most recommended by doctors for pregnancy stretch marks.

“I must admit, I really loved being pregnant. Stretch marks were a big worry though – my bust got huge! I put on 18 kgs and it was all in the one area over my bust and stomach. I was worried because when I was 15 I got little stripes so I thought well I am prone to stretch marks, and I didn’t want them – I mean no one does! That’s why I lathered myself in Bio-Oil and it really worked – I didn’t get any stretch marks! I’ve also seen a difference in my existing ones even though they’re 15 years old!”

Colmar Brunton, 2016

BGA170301–PM–D&G

Dionne with Georgia

Bio-Oil® helps reduce the possibility of pregnancy stretch marks forming by increasing the skin’s elasticity. It should be applied twice daily from the start of the second trimester. For comprehensive product information, and details of clinical trials, please visit bio-oil.com. Bio-Oil is available at pharmacies and selected retailers. Individual results will vary. Bio-Oil is distributed in New Zealand by Douglas Pharmaceuticals Ltd, Auckland.

subscribe online at www.kiwiparent.co.nz –

kiwiparent

win great giveaways

Enter online at kiwiparent.co.nz and follow the instructions. Entries must be received by 5pm August 29, 2017. Winners will be published in issue 280.

Win a Woolbabe sleeping bag from The Sleep Store

Bath toys prize pack from Hape to be won

The award-winning Woolbabe merino and organic cotton sleeping bag is one of the warmest and snuggliest winter sleeping bags available, and the most recommended by customers at The Sleep Store! It uses a quilted wool filling lined with organic cotton for additional warmth and temperature regulation. The Merino reacts to changes in body temperatures, keeping baby at a constant body temperature, which encourages a good night’s sleep. RRP $179

These NEW bath toys from Hape are a great distraction and entertainment as well as functional and are suitable for use with Baby’s 12 months+. Pack includes friendly bear bath mitt, little bath squirts, Pop-Up Teddy, stacking umbrellas, wind-up swimming teddy, buckets and storage umbrella with four balls. Prize pack RRP $160. www.rdl.co.nz

thesleepstore.co.nz

3 Zuru Micro Boat ‘speedy’ prize packs to be won Each prize includes Micro Boats and Racing Playset, with two boats. Get ready for some epic speed boat racing action with ZURU Micro Boats! Speed through the water in four directions and do 360° doughnut turns. With micro-robotic sensor technology, hit a wall and reverse. They’re great fun in the bath or a swimming pool. Available from Farmers and Toy World. Let the race begin! www.zurumicroboats.com

2 packs of head-lice treatment to be won from The Crown Jewels Hassle free nit treatments that break the cycle of head-lice Designed to fit into your family’s routine, this leave on treatment from TCJ-Kids works while your child plays and smells great. Using 100% natural herbal actives Neem and Quassia, it breaks the digestive system and stops the breeding cycle of head-lice. Proudly New Zealand made. Pack includes Neem leave-on treatment, hair styling paste, conditioner, shampoo and spiral tooth head-lice comb. Total Retail Value $88.00 www.tcjkids.co.nz

Enter to win a Snugglewrap and helmet

Win a self-warming feeder from Baby on the Move

This wool-blend snugglewrap is easy to use for any new mother, keep baby warm and snug with three easy steps and get a better nights sleep. Use from birth, this Snugglewrap allows natural movement for the development of healthy hips. Pair with the matching helmet to ensure baby is kept warm this winter. Total RRP $131.50

At the touch of a button, yoomi warms baby’s feed to the natural temperature of breast milk in just 60 seconds! The award winning range was designed to make feeding time safer and easier for parents at home or on the go:

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Perfect for mums who express Delivers breast milk temperature – EVERY time www.babyonthemove.co.nz RRP$64.95

0800 222 966 / www.babyonthemove.co.nz

80 kiwiparent – supporting kiwi parents through the early years

Protecting tiny tummies from harmful germs Good hygiene is crucial in babyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s first year. Sterilising is all about protecting your baby from harmful bacteria until their immune system is strong enough. Our steam sterilisers are quick, effective and chemical free.

A healthy start, a healthy future Microwave steriliser 3-in-1 electric steam steriliser www.philips.co.nz/avent www.facebook.com/Philips.Avent.NewZealand

Having an au pair has made a huge difference to our family. Having our youngest at home during the day means that she gets one on one care and she gets out and about regularly. We have also noted a huge improvement in her health. Apart from the benefits for our children, our au pair has removed a lot of stress as we no longer have morning drop-offs or the worry of school pick ups. - Lowe family, Christchurch *Terms and conditions apply.

IS CHILDCARE ON YOUR MIND? If you’re looking for flexible and affordable in-home childcare then speak with our friendly team to find out more! Au Pair Link is NZ’s largest au pair agency connecting experienced au pairs with Kiwi families nationwide.

What we offer: • Fully screened, experienced au pairs to choose from via our online database • Personalised educational resources for your children • Weekly playgroups and outings for your children and au pair • Orientation and child first aid training for your au pair • Round the clock support from a qualified early childhood education teacher • Cultural experience for the whole family • Access to WINZ and 20 Hours ECE subsidies Apply with the code BBSHW17 to receive a FREE AU PAIR 123 PLACEMENT for new family placements starting July to December!*

Join the Au Pair Link family! Call us on 0800 AU PAIR (287 247) or visit www.aupairlink.co.nz today.