KiwiParent - Feb/Mar Issue 299 - NEW LOOK!

Issue: Issue:

299 299 feb | mar 2021

KiwiParent

supporting parents through the early years

Becoming a Parent PREPARING FINANCIALLY WHĀNAU SUPPORT DECORATING

ALSO IN THIS ISSUE: Morning sickness Reflux Dads of antenatal

The magazine of Parents Centre Aotearoa

Post-Holiday Routines and more...

RRP: $7.50 (incl GST)

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www.thesleepstore.co.nz facebook.com/SleepStore 2 | KiwiParent

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Becoming a parent

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3 | KiwiParent

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contents FOCUS THIS ISSUE:

Preparing financially

Becoming a parent

Staying financially secure

Each issue of KiwiParent will have a theme running through several of the features. This issue the theme is ‘becoming a parent’, and we discuss several important topics to help you on your parenting journey.

when a new baby arrives

Insurance Here’s how you can

11

safeguard their future

It takes a village Ora Toa Primary

14

Health Organisation

Smooth sailing Try these easy decorating ideas for a nautical-inspired kid’s space

4 | KiwiParent

8

16

Contents

16

25

40

34

46

These articles and many more up to date articles for parents are also available @ parentscentre.org.nz

Insights Pregnancy Hyperemesis gravidarum –

Also in this issue...

25

Being a family Strengthening

40

Giveaways

4 44

when pregnancy isn’t what

relationships under

Book review

you expected

pressure – lessons

Reo Pēpi board books

from COVID-19

Newborns Living with a reflux baby

Feeding babies Navigating the world of

30

Recipes 46 Products 54 Review of Philips Avent

34

Electric Breast Pump

allergies in children

Dads Q & A

and babies

Dads of antenatal

Older children

Parents Centre Aotearoa

How to help ease your little ones back into the day-to-day

38

58 61

Winners 72

after the Christmas break

5 | KiwiParent

Win great Giveaways Be in to win these great giveaways from Philips Avent, The Sleep Store, Baby On The Move and The Northland Emergency Services Trust.

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food is effortless with the Philips

designed to mimic a baby’s natural

kids’ lunch! Yumbox, a newly inspired

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sucking. Use it to express your milk

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efficiently in whisper quiet comfort. The

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choice of meat and vegetables then

soft silicone breast cushion and easily

meal in minutes! It’s perfect for a

with a simple flip of the jug blend

adjustable modes help to stimulate

packed kindy/school lunch, toddler

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6 | KiwiParent

Enter online parentscentre.org.nz/giveaways Entries must be received by 5pm, 1 March, 2021.

Winners will be published in issue 300.

1 OF 5 SETS OF FOUR BOOKS ABOUT THE ADVENTURES OF THE NORTHLAND RESCUE HELICOPTER The Northland Rescue Helicopters Juliet, Mike, Charlie and Oscar come to life in these adventure tales for kids that follow the choppers during daring life-saving missions around Northland. Each story has an underlying safety message and also incorporates elements of te reo Māori.

RRP $40.00 per set www.nest.org.nz/bookstore/

KiwiParent The magazine of Parents Centre Aotearoa since 1954.

Enquiries | Parents Centre Aotearoa 04 233 2022, info@parentscentre.org.nz Advertising Sales | Catherine Short 04 233 2022, advertise@parentscentre.org.nz Design | Yasmine El Orfi www.yasmineelorfi.com Proofing | Alison Lipski Printer | Bluestar Subscriptions | info@parentscentre.org.nz www.parentscentre.org.nz Publisher | Parents Centre Aotearoa 04 233 2022, info@parentscentre.org.nz PO Box 54 128, Mana 5247, Wellington KiwiParent is the publication of Parents Centre Aotearoa and reflects the philosophy and values of the organisation.

Information contained in the magazine is consistent with our antenatal programmes provided through our 52 locations.

Editorial

Y

ay! What a proud moment it is to be introducing our new-look KiwiParent. After the trials of 2020, it feels good to be starting 2021 with something fresh and vibrant, full of information and ideas to help Kiwis be the best parents ever.

Next year Parents Centre will be 70 years old.

We started in 1952 as a group of activist parents determined to change the way mums and dads were treated during childbirth and early parenting. We still have this as our focus and our new issue of KiwiParent has lots of articles and information to support you as you become a parent or seek new ideas on being a great parent.

KiwiParent has been designed to work closely with our new website. Check out an article here and then go to the website for more information. In future we intend to have videos and podcasts linked to articles on the website.

Amanda Vaisigano is our new KiwiParent writer.

Like most of our readers, she is a mum who looks out for scientifically sound information on parenting. She will be your guide as you navigate the precious early years of being an informed Kiwi parent. Amanda is always open to new ideas on what you would like to see in KiwiParent. Do feel free to email her your thoughts and feedback.

Articles published in KiwiParent may be reproduced provided they are used for noncommercial purposes and written permission has been provided by Parents Centre.

Happy reading!

ISSN 1173-7638

Chief Executive, Parents Centre Aotearoa

8 | KiwiParent

Heather Hayden

Becoming a parent

These articles and many others for parents are available @

parentscentre.org.nz

Preparing financially

Insurance

Whānau support

Decorating

8

11

14

16

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KiwiParent | 9

Becoming a parent

Question & Answer

We chat with Donna Robinson, Founder and General Manager of MoneySense Financial Education Services, to find out how we can best prepare for this big money milestone, without any added stress.

Staying financially secure when a new baby arrives A baby usually means some big financial changes for most Kiwi households.

As a new parent, the last thing you want is to have money worries hanging over your head as a distraction.

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With a bit of planning and investigation into what support may be available to your family, you can keep your finances under control and enjoy all the great things about having a sweet new addition.

Donna, what are some things parents and families should think about ahead of time when preparing for a baby?

It’s a wise idea to get a really good understanding of what the financial impact will be for yourself or your family now, right

up until the baby arrives. One way of doing this is to develop a budget based on your current situation and the future budget.

Make sure to factor in the extra expenses for the new baby such as furniture, clothing and nappies.

If your income is going to be reduced after your baby is born, planning ahead and allowing time to adjust to the new budget will give you an idea of where you can make compromises and what tweaks you can make

to help make life a little easier financially when the baby arrives.

What financial support is out there for people and families who are about to have a baby?

There are a number of financial support options available to families depending on their individual circumstances. It’s a good idea to investigate each one and talk to Work and Income, Employment New Zealand and Inland Revenue about what you might be entitled to.

THE MAIN FORMS OF FINANCIAL SUPPORT Paid parental leave (PPL) – this is a government-funded payment to eligible mothers and other primary carers. The payments go towards the loss of income when you take parental leave or stop working to care for a newborn baby, or a child under the age of six coming into your care.

You may be able to transfer all or part of your entitlement to your partner if you decide to go back to work and they become the primary caregiver. You can 11 | KiwiParent

claim PPL for up to 26 weeks. The Employment New Zealand website will tell you if you’re eligible for paid parental leave and how much you could get; it’s currently between $177 and $606 per week.

Working for Families (WFF) tax credits – you may be entitled to WFF along with PPL. This is government assistance to help lowand middle-income families cope with the costs of raising children. It offers tax credits, accommodation and childcare assistance.

Best Start – this is a payment of $60 per week for families supporting a newborn baby. Families who qualify for Best Start can receive the payment until their baby turns one, and for the subsequent two years if they earn $79,000 or less. If you are receiving paid parental leave payments, you cannot get the Best Start payment until PPL finishes. Check the IRD website for further information.

KiwiParent | 11

Becoming a parent

What other support is available? Who can parents talk to for help with preparing financially for the arrival of a baby?

There are several places that parents can ask for assistance.

Services range from help with preparing for baby to arrive right up to planning how to return to work and get baby ready for childcare. Here are some of the options: » Parents Centre Aotearoa: Return-to-

How can families stay financially on track once the new family member has arrived?

Review your budget often. To make it fun, have a ‘budgeting date’, where you sit down once a week or fortnight and discuss the household budget and any concerns either of you have. Talking it out and finding solutions together often avoids the stress and anxiety that money can create in relationships. It’s important you budget for a bit of fun too!

work programme » Work and Income:

Financial assistance when having a baby » Ministry of Business, Innovation and Employment: Paid

parental leave » Inland Revenue: Parental

tax credit » Employment New Zealand: Returning to the

workforce and flexible working hours » Work and Income:

Childcare subsidy

12 | KiwiParent

Ensure you have all the information about extra financial support available and stay informed.

If things do feel a bit tight financially, but you are managing to stay afloat, just remember that this is only for a short time, so enjoy your precious bundle as much as you can.

And don’t forget, you are doing a wonderful job!

KP

Donna’s top financial tips for expectant parents: Try to reduce debt. Reduce credit card debt in particular, because if you are only able to pay the minimum amount the debt can really start to grow. Or maybe look at transferring your credit card balance to another card that charges a lower interest rate.

Don’t be afraid to ask family and friends for help. For example, donated baby goods are a great way to save money. Making a wish list to give to your family and friends can help you receive all the baby gear you need.

See if you can start living off one income now. That way you’ll have a savings or emergency nest egg and you will have adjusted to your new budget well before baby arrives.

Check your insurance needs now and for when baby arrives.

You may also want to update your will at the same time.

Visit budgeting sites such as Sorted.org.nz for tools and guides that can help you be prepared.

Talk to your lenders early on and let them know if you’re finding it difficult to keep on top of things.

They may be able to provide solutions to make it easier.

Becoming a parent

Pat and wife Alice Photo Suzy Gasson

Baby on the way?

Here’s how you can safeguard their future

By Pat Sellars

At the age where everyone seems to have just had, or is having, a baby – it’s timely to think about how you can best look after your family. Welcoming a baby into the world is an exciting time, and although thinking about insurance options can feel like putting a dark spin on what is a joyous time, it’s important to remember that if you don’t plan, you could be putting your loved ones at risk.

I

n this article I’ll be covering life insurance and, to help illustrate

what can be done, I’ll take you through the steps my partner and I have taken to safeguard our future.

For my partner and me, our plan differs depending on who passes away first; however, these three parts remain the same for each of us:

Mortgage – pay off the mortgage so that payment is not a burden on the other partner. This can act as longterm income replacement as one income goes much further without a mortgage to pay. If you have other debts include these here (eg, if you rent, how much rent money do you want to leave behind?).

Education – we have a fund that would provide education for our daughter right through to tertiary education.

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Becoming a parent

“I hear a lot of people talk about their insurances as though they’re on top of it – ‘set and forget’. But a life insurance plan isn’t something you can set and forget.”

Final expenses – there are always final expenses, like the cost of the funeral, which is normally around $15,000.

reduces and KiwiSaver will increase throughout your working life. So, the idea is that, as you age, you can decrease your amount of cover.

Regardless of which one of us were to pass away, the other would need to take some time off work. We would therefore need to replace the income for the period we would be off work but would factor in that there will be no mortgage payments.

I hear a lot of people talk about their insurances as though they’re on top of it – ‘set and forget’. But a life insurance plan isn’t something you can set and forget; you need to discuss the plan in detail with your partner, ensure the plan is feasible, and review it every year.

Unfortunately, as optimistic as that sounds, they had not considered what their partner would need to maintain their lifestyle. Forget fun money, they were massively under-insured. Unfortunately, this is all too common for Kiwis.

Think about where you and your partner plan to be in five or 10 years’ time (this is all dependent on what you are both contributing), and then think

Then when we are back working, we need to factor in childcare costs for that period, especially before our daughter starts school.

From those totals we deduct any realisable assets (KiwiSaver, savings, stocks and so on), and deduct the amount of cover we have in place.

Basically, that’s it – we now have a plan.

That plan needs to be revised periodically because as your children get older the childcare costs decrease, the mortgage

It’s also common for me to hear people say things like: “My sister lives around the corner; she’ll help with the kids” or “I think my work will be flexible and help me out.”

Can you, or do you want to, rely on that? Your family members have their own lives to lead and your employer is running a business.

Be realistic and come up with what you want to happen.

I’ve heard someone describe their life cover plan as enough to leave their partner mortgage free and have some ‘fun money’ left over.

about what you need to do so that your goals are still achieved – even if you are not around.

This is an uncomfortable discussion for many, but one that must happen. What’s your plan, your real plan? It should be one that could realistically be put into action if necessary.

If you’d like help setting a realistic plan that will safeguard your family, it’s a great idea to get in touch with an adviser and provide cover to protect the ones you love.

ABOUT PAT Pat Sellars is a Registered Financial Adviser with a focus on Personal Risk. This means providing unique and tailored advice for clients’ Life, Health and Income insurances.

With Life Insurance Plus, Pat can access products from New Zealand’s top insurers, giving clients peace of mind for them and their loved ones.

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Becoming a parent

It takes a village Ora Toa Primary Health Organisation Having a baby can be an overwhelming, sleep-deprived experience and Ora Toa is there every step of the way, providing free support services for the development, health and wellbeing of children under five years old and their whānau.

O

ra Toa nurse Lisa Vitaliano says the charity works hard to support parents to parent in a way that works for them, and that they do this by providing education and allowing families to tell them what they need.

“Our health messages are all in line with the Ministry of Health – but we deliver these messages differently.

Even though our primary focus is baby and mama, we look at who is the baby and mama’s support crew and involve them as well.

“We walk alongside whānau so they don’t feel like they’re doing the most important job all by themselves. We understand that for children to be well, the entire whānau unit needs to be well,” she says.

“It takes a village to raise a child and that’s our firm belief as well.

Our staff go into a home, and we sit and chat before we do any clinical observations such as weighing or measuring. We make sure that our whānau feel they have been listened to.”

The Ora Toa Tamariki Ora service has been supporting the Porirua area for over 20 years – and has been in Wellington for more than 15. The not-for-profit organisation is the only Māori-owned and run primary health organisation in the Wellington region.

Lisa says the point of difference for the alternative well child provider is the way they deliver their messages.

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Lisa explains that it’s also very important that they acknowledge any cultural practices and work with a safety perspective.

“When it comes to topics such as co-sleeping for example, we offer wahakura and chat about the possible risks of co-sleeping – getting a gauge of where the whānau’s knowledge is at. We

equip them with the tools and information and then allow them to make that decision – rather than simply telling them that co-sleeping is wrong.”

Research indicates that the first 1,000 days in a child’s life are critical and build the stepping stones of who this child will be.

This period determines the child’s resilience factor and how well they will deal with adversity in life.

Lisa says that both mama’s and papa’s role is important – so they look holistically at the whānau right from the time of conception and hapūtanga (pregnancy).

“We’re always asking questions like: has this time been stressful for mama? What are those stress factors? Has there been smoking during pregnancy? Is there any family violence in the home and does mama have support systems in place such as a Parents Centre Aotearoa antenatal group? Was the

Becoming a parent

birth traumatic? Were there issues that arose that could intensify feelings of angst and anxiety?

“Experience in this job indicates that these factors determine whether mama will experience postnatal depression and require further support systems, and time and energy.”

Ora Toa sees its job as being to assist mama and the rest of the village, so that parenting doesn’t seem such a daunting task and whānau are all able to make informed decisions for their pēpi.

with the whānau parenting style, values and morals,” says Lisa.

“That way we can ensure we’re best supporting parents in their role to give all tamariki the very best start to life.”

“It’s important this is always done in a non-judgemental manner, with solution-based advice in line

FOR MORE INFORMATION They say it takes a village to raise a child. A key member of that village for many Wellington families is Ora Toa Primary Health Organisation.

Ora Toa offers an alternative Well Child/Tamariki Ora service. It works to support Kiwi whānau in the greater Wellington region – walking alongside them to help grow happy and healthy tamariki.

Many of our Parents Centre Aotearoa families in Wellington have found their services invaluable.

If you’d like to find out more about the Well Child/Tamariki Ora service run

by Ora Toa, please visit www.oratoa.co.nz/oratoapmc

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Becoming a parent

Laura Lynn_Johnston Kid’s Nautical Bedroom Resene Explorer, Sea Fog, Raging Bull, Pirate Gold, Tangaroa, Half Black White, Mid Greywash Photos Bryce Carleton

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Becoming a parent

Smooth sailing Try these easy decorating ideas for a nautical-inspired kid’s space.

In a nation surrounded by ocean, chances are that if you don’t own a boat yourself you probably know someone who does. And as kids young and old wait in anticipation for the next America’s Cup competition, the excitement for all things sailing is especially heightened right now.

Translate that enthusiasm into a fun and graphic room theme anchored with favourite Resene paint colours – Resene Sea Fog, Resene Explorer, Resene Tangaroa, Resene Raging Bull, Resene Pirate Gold, Resene Half Black White and Resene Black.

Upper wall in Resene Sea Fog, lower ‘wave’ wall in Resene Explorer, timber floor in Resene Colorwood Mid Greywash, pendant 19 | KiwiParent

lamp and DIY life preserver in Resene Raging Bull, dresser in Resene Tangaroa, Resene Raging Bull, Resene Pirate Gold, Resene Half Black White, bedside table in Resene Half Black White and Resene Tangaroa, large plant pot in Resene Tangaroa, lidded basket and small pot in Resene Pirate Gold, lidded dish and vase in Resene Raging Bull. Pillowcases and duvet cover from Città, throw and blue cushion cover from H&M Home.

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Becoming a parent

Make waves This stylised wave wall is easy to achieve. Start with two basecoats of Resene Sea Fog. Once dry, measure two-thirds of the way up your wall and draw a line across using a pencil and a level. Then line up an overturned dinner plate with one corner and the top of the pencil mark and draw a circle around it.

Continue drawing circles next to one another all the way along your line. Next, use an eraser to remove the bottom half of every other circle and the top half of each one in between so that you end up with a wavy line. Use this as your guide for painting. To get a clean edge, use a wide, high-quality painter’s brush – one with plenty of bristles – to fill in your curves with Resene Explorer and work slowly. Feathering the bottom edges of your brushstrokes downward will help keep your

painted finish smooth. Fill in the remainder of your wall with a roller. Once your first coat has dried, apply your second topcoat.

before removing the tape. Allow the paint to dry fully before moving on to your next colour.

Put a ring on it

Flag it down Starting with two basecoats of Resene Lustacryl tinted to Resene Half Black White, use high-quality painter’s masking tape, a testpot brush and Resene testpots in Resene Tangaroa, Resene Pirate Gold and Resene Raging Bull to create the look of nautical flags on dresser drawers.

Add additional charm to your child’s nautical-themed room with a rustic, ropey life preserver.

Starting with a paper mâché or polystyrene wreath form, wrap the entire surface in thick cotton rope, tacking it down with hot glue as you go and tucking in the ends. Cover the entire surface in

We decided to paint a random assortment of flags that we liked the look of, but since each flag represents a letter of the alphabet, you could even spell out your child’s name or a secret message! Work on one colour at a time and apply two coats

two coats of paint using a testpot in Resene Raging Bull. Finally, create a ring of rope that’s a few centimetres larger and bind it to the outside of your wreath at 12, 3, 6 and 9 o’clock and tack down the ends of each section with hot glue.

Let your ideas loose all over your walls with Resene Write-on Wall Paint.

Get

writing!

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Simply apply over your existing light coloured wall paint. Then once dry and cured you can use whiteboard markers to write all over the wall without damaging the surface. And when it’s time to delete an idea just grab a soft cloth or whiteboard eraser, rub out the marker and start again.

With Resene Write-on Wall Paint there’s no limit to your ideas.

0800 RESENE (737 363)

www.resene.co.nz

Becoming a parent

Step by Step

INSTRUCTIONS

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Find full instructions for each of these projects at www.habitatbyresene.co.nz or check out the videos on habitat TV.

Becoming a parent

Gussy it up with a garland Decorate your child’s room with one of these adorable garlands by draping them across their headboard, along the top of t heir window frame or above their desk.

DIY buoy garland Once you wrap your head around this simple knotting technique, you’ll find it super easy – and even fun – to make more of these buoys to decorate your favourite sailor’s space. While we’ve strung ours on to a garden fence, they would also look great on your Christmas tree when the holidays roll around again.

YOU WILL NEED » 8 or more ‘balls’ – these can be made of cardboard, glass,

» Measuring tape » Scissors

polystyrene, or you

» Masking tape

could even upcycle old

» Hot glue

toy balls. Ours were approximately 70mm in diameter, but you

» Resene testpots

can make yours any

in your choice of

size that suits.

colours – we used

» Natural cotton string/rope – like the kind used for macramé

22 | KiwiParent

Step 1

» Testpot brush

Resene Raging Bull

Using a Resene testpot brush, paint your balls in two coats with a Resene testpot of your choosing. We painted all of ours in Resene Raging Bull, but you could use a variety of your favourite Resene colours for a fun look. Allow the first coat of paint to dry to the touch before moving on to the second coat.

Becoming a parent

Becoming a parent

Step 2

Step 3

Step 4

While your second coat of paint is drying, measure and cut one longer length of cotton string and six shorter lengths. For ours, our longer length was approximately 120cm and the six shorter ones were approximately 80cm.

Fold your longer length of string in half so that it creates a loop at one end. Then, keeping the two ends together, feed them through the loop and pull the lengths most of the way through, leaving a ring at the end.

Fold the first of your shorter lengths of string in half so that it creates a loop at one end. Then, pass the loop under your ring before feeding the two ends of your shorter length of string through the loop. Pull the ends all the way through so that your loop tightens around the ring.

Step 5

Step 6

Step 7

Repeat Step 4 for the remaining shorter lengths of string so that all six are looped around your first ring. Slide them against one another and tighten the original ring so that all your strings splay out in a circle like a starburst.

Take the left side of one string and the right side of the string next to it and knot them together around your finger so that the knot lies approximately 3cm out from the centre ring. Working around the circle, do the same to each left string, so that it is tied together with the one immediately to the right of it.

Repeat Step 6 again another 3cm out from the first set of knots, once again tying each ‘left’ string to the one immediately to the right of it. If you’ve kept everything orderly, your knotting should have formed a circular net.

23 | KiwiParent

KiwiParent | 23

Becoming a parent

Step 8 Measure three equal lengths of cotton string approximately 20% longer than the distance you would like your garland to drape across. For example, if you want your garland to drape over a queen-sized headboard – which usually measures a little over 152cm wide – cut your three lengths approx.

182cm long. Knot them together at the top and tape the knot to the surface of a table. Braid your three strands into a simple plait, alternating which side you grab your string from and bringing it between the two remaining strings. When you reach the end of your lengths, knot them together.

Step 9 Thread your plaited ‘rope’ through the holes at the tops of the buoys, sliding them along so that they’re spaced evenly across. If your buoys are made of a light material, they should stay in place on their own. But if they are made of a heavier material, such as glass, it’s a smart idea to either tie a knot in your rope on either side of each buoy or secure them in place with hot glue. Then, use your new garland to decorate a headboard, or drape it across the top of a window frame or above a desk.

DIY nautical flag block garland Use this fun string of colourful blocks to decorate a sailing themed kid’s room.

YOU WILL NEED » 8 or more 35mm3 wooden blocks (or timber to cut your own) » Cotton string/rope » Scissors

» Small flat artist’s brushes » Resene testpots in your choice of colours – we used Resene Raging Bull, Resene Tangaroa,

» Power drill

Resene Pirate Gold,

» High quality painter’s

Resene Nero and

masking tape

Resene Double Alabaster

Becoming a parent

Becoming a parent

1

2

3

4

5

6

Step 1

Step 3

Using high-quality painter’s masking tape, mask off the areas of your wooden blocks that you would like to paint with your first colour.

Repeat Step 2 until each of your flag blocks have been completed. Since the blocks are three dimensional, we chose to paint our flags on at least four sides of our blocks so that they could be seen even if the blocks rotate on the finished garland. However, you could choose to paint your flags on all sides, or on one or two sides only and paint the other sides in solid colours.

Paint your first colour in two coats using a testpot in the Resene blue, red, yellow or white of your choosing in two coats, allowing the first to dry to the touch before moving on to the next coat. We used Resene Raging Bull, Resene Tangaroa, Resene Pirate Gold and Resene Double Alabaster to paint our flags for a less traditional look.

However, you could use Resene Bright Red, Resene Gorse, Resene Resolution Blue, Resene Black and Resene White for more vibrant versions of classic nautical colours.

You could also spell out your child’s name using this nautical alphabet from Resene’s Habitat.

Step 4 Once your blocks are dry, using your power drill and a drill bit that is slightly longer than your block, slightly wider than your string and suitable for wood, drill holes through the centre of your blocks from one side to the other. Wipe away any sawdust with a clean, dry cloth.

Step 5 Thread your length of string through the hole in one block and slide it to the centre. Then, tie a knot on each side of the block so that it will stay in place. If your string is very soft and you are having trouble feeding it through the hole, you can use a yarn needle to help.

Step 6 Step 2 Once your first paint colour has dried, remove the masking tape and apply new masking tape to block out the areas you will be painting in your second colour. Using a small flat artist’s brush, paint your second colour in two coats, allowing the first to dry to the touch before moving on to the next coat. To speed up the drying process, use a hair dryer.

25 | KiwiParent

Continue threading blocks on either end of your string and tying knots on both sides of each, leaving equal spaces between each block, until your garland is complete. Then, use your new garland to decorate your child’s headboard, or drape it across the top of their bedroom window frame or above their desk.

KiwiParent | 25

Becoming a parent

“It was a safe environment to ask questions and they were always responded to respectfully”

“Very informative class especially in our own language”

ANTENATAL CLASSES in Mandarin & Cantonese

中文, 准妈妈孕期课程 汉密尔顿 IN THIS COURSE: Pregnancy comfort Labour journey Understanding your rights Feeding and meeting your baby’s needs Transition to parenthood Practical parenting

Parents Centre Aotearoa is a not-for-profit organisation providing parents with information and skills for their transition to parenthood.

Parents Centre Aotearoa’s expertly facilitated programmes will be offered both face to face and online and will be facilitated to ensure the classes aren’t one-way information or just a lecture. They will still be interactive, engaging and fun and we will still create your coffee group!

父母中心所提供的专业产前课程是具有大量有 趣的内容, 活跃的授课氛围及大量的互动.

FIND OUT MORE ABOUT

Antenatal Classes in Mandarin & Cantonese CONTACT midwifeamanda@hotmail.com

26 | KiwiParent

www.parentscentre.org.nz

Insights PREGNANCYHyperemesis gravidarum

NEWBORNS Living with a reflux baby

FEEDING BABY Allergies

OLDER CHILDREN Returning to routines

BEING A FAMILY Strengthening relationships

These articles and many others for parents are available @

parentscentre.org.nz

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30

34

38

40

Hyperemesis Gravidarum When pregnancy isn’t what you expected

27 | KiwiParent

27 | KiwiParent

HYPEREMESIS GRAVIDARUM Petra was in and out of hospital for the first half of her pregnancy.

“Oh, you’re absolutely glowing!”

T

hese are the words Wellington mother-to-be Petra Fersterer

imagined coming her way when she first found out she was pregnant. But rather than relishing her growing baby bump, she spent much of the first half of her pregnancy in and out of the Emergency Department feeling worse than she’d ever felt before.

Petra found herself diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum (HG), a terrible, debilitating illness that affects more than 1% of pregnant people – and that few people understand.

Michelle Deerheart, from Empowered Parenthood, says hyperemesis gravidarum is defined as intractable vomiting in pregnancy.

“Intractable means difficult to manage, cure or deal with. It differs from ‘morning sickness’ in that it makes daily life incredibly difficult – almost impossible – and the feeling is continuous, whereas with morning sickness it can be limited to a small part of the day, and not always the morning!” she says.

Petra hadn’t heard much about HG before becoming pregnant – other

28 | KiwiParent

Pregnancy

than it was something that Kate Middleton had suffered with.

“When I started getting sick at six weeks pregnant, I began researching HG and wondering if that’s what I had, so by the time I got the diagnosis at the Emergency Department, I knew what it meant,” says Petra.

Taking a physical and mental toll Michelle says that HG is a debilitating affliction to have to deal with when you are growing a baby and she’s witnessed a great toll on women physically.

“It means regular trips to the hospital for IV fluids, regular medication to try and manage it and there is the toll of the constant vomiting, nutrient depletion and dehydration,” she says.

Petra’s first-hand experience echoes Michelle’s assessment.

She’s found the journey extremely hard, with the physical challenges closely intertwined with her mental health.

“I’ve been to hospital three times due to dehydration and each time I was really panicky and scared. During those times I couldn’t look after myself, though I was able to recognise when I needed medical care.”

Petra says she allowed herself to become isolated as she couldn’t leave the house without being sick.

That was by far my lowest point mentally and I felt unable to continue the pregnancy.”

“I started asking friends to come over for short visits, which really lifted my spirits. I took some time off work and then returned on reduced hours, which gave me the space to recover. I also found walking helped, even when I could only make it to the mailbox.”

Petra went into hospital and was admitted for three nights.

They were able to change her medication to one she tolerated better and connected her to other services including a nutritionist and maternal mental health.

Michelle says that the emotional and mental toll from the physical impacts, loss of control, loss of normalcy and feelings of guilt from wanting the pregnancy to be over is immense for many HG sufferers.

Michelle says there’s also new research to show that a combination of homeopathic infusion therapy and art, dance and massage therapy can show improvement of symptoms within a week.

Treatment Petra counts herself lucky, saying that medication has been reasonably effective for her. But it didn’t come without initial side effects.

“After taking the medication for a while my legs started shaking whenever I sat or lay down, which was like extreme restless leg syndrome. It meant that my sleep was seriously interrupted. At its peak I slept a total of four hours in one 48-hour period,” she explains.

“At that point I had already had six weeks of HG and adding in the shakes and sleep issues really pushed me over the edge.

“Another new study shows some positive outcomes with Japanese Kampo medicines.

Yet further studies illustrate some improved outcomes with acupuncture, acupressure and methylprednisolone in the treatment of HG.” There are also various anti-sickness medicines that you may be offered such as cyclizine, prochlorperazine, metoclopramide, ondansetron and steroids. Not all of these medicines are licensed for use in pregnancy, but there is no evidence that they are harmful to your baby. Always check with a doctor, midwife or pharmacist before 29 | KiwiParent

Pregnancy

“It takes a multi-faceted approach to battle HG. Women living through this are really suffering and need as much emotional and physical support as they can get”

taking any medicine or supplement when you are pregnant.

Support to get through The hardest part about having HG for Petra was the doubt she had about the rest of her pregnancy and motherhood journey.

“I’ve wanted to be a mum since I was a kid myself, but HG made me question if it was the right choice. Since that first trimester was so much harder than I ever anticipated, I wondered how I would cope with all the stages still to come, such as third trimester, birth and looking after a newborn,” she says.

“At my worst, it made me believe I was not able to do it at all, and if I hadn’t received such amazing care those feelings would have led to the termination of a very wanted and planned baby. I am so grateful that’s not where this journey went for me.”

Michelle says it’s imperative to ensure women who have HG have access to a good and free counselling service as well as other services.

“It takes a multi-faceted approach to battle HG. Women living through this are really suffering and need

as much emotional and physical support as they can get,” she says.

Now that she’s feeling better and has the right support in place for the rest of her pregnancy, Petra says she’s able to look forward again to, and feel excited about, being a parent.

“I feel very grateful to have a great support system including my husband, parents, midwife and close friends, who were all able to look after me in many different ways and help get me through to this point.”

Signs that morning sickness may be hyperemesis Inability to keep anything down, even small amounts of water

Weight loss (generally around 5% or more of prepregnancy weight)

Dehydration – early signs you may be becoming dehydrated include dry lips and mouth and dark, concentrated urine; later signs include the presence of ketones in urine

Constant nausea

Extreme exhaustion of a

Ptyalism – excessive saliva production, which exacerbates nausea

Headaches and confusion

level so severe you are unable to go about your normal daily activities

Rapid heartbeat

FOR MORE INFORMATION For more information on the treatment of hyperemesis gravidarum and nausea and vomiting in early pregnancy, please chat with your midwife or GP – or visit these websites.:

30 | KiwiParent

Complementary therapies for nausea and vomiting in early pregnancy: academic.oup.com/ fampra/article/17/6/570/507382

Safety and effectiveness of Japanese herbal Kampo medicines for treatment of hyperemesis gravidarum: pubmed.ncbi. nlm.nih.gov/30734286/

Becoming a parent

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Living with a reflux baby Flailing arms, projectile vomiting, arched back, and relentless screaming.

This can be the heartbreaking reality for around 8% of Kiwi families whose babies suffer with gastro-oesophageal reflux, commonly known as infant reflux.

I

nfant reflux occurs when a valve doesn’t close properly, and food

“It can sometimes feel unfair that David has been dealt such

and digestive acids are brought

a rough ride – but it sure does

back up into the oesophagus. More

make me marvel at the times

than half of all infants experience reflux symptoms to varying degrees;

he’s happy,” says Louise.

When David was three weeks old,

however, for some, the acid can

Louise and Edward noticed that

burn and cause great discomfort.

he became extremely unsettled.

For Wellington parents Louise* and Edward*, seeing their sixmonth-old son David* in pain,

“There was a lot of screaming and very little sleep. He would arch his back and bring his legs

and feeling powerless to help

up to his tummy. Our eldest child

him, is the hardest part of

has a milk protein allergy – and

navigating the condition.

we suspected this was the case

32 | KiwiParent

with David, so we took him to our paediatrician to get it checked out.”

Louise went dairy free – but sadly, this didn’t address David’s symptoms. He began having frequent episodes where he’d go red in the face and repeatedly swallow and make gurgling sounds.

After another visit to the paediatrician at five weeks old, David was diagnosed with silent reflux and started on medication.

Louise and Edward count themselves among the lucky ones – *names have been changed

Becoming a parent

Newborns

“There was a lot of screaming and very little sleep. He would arch his back and bring his legs up to his tummy. Our eldest child has a milk protein allergy – and we suspected this was the case with David, so we took him to our paediatrician to get it checked out.”

having traversed the health system with their first child, they knew that going straight to a paediatrician was their best bet at avoiding a delayed diagnosis and would enable them to rapidly work through what might be driving David’s discomfort.

“We saw such a wonderful improvement in David once he started on medication. Although he can still be very fussy with his feeding, and experience reflux episodes and disrupted sleep, we do find it takes the edge off,” explains Louise.

Going with the flow … and your gut Becoming parents to a reflux baby has taught Louise and Edward to go with their gut and to let go of any previously held expectations.

Louise acknowledges that sometimes as parents we all have too many fires to fight. As a parent to a child with reflux, Louise has had to quickly determine which ones she can let burn!

“This analogy really helps me to not get hung up about using the dryer, not using cloth nappies,

getting takeout for tea, and outsourcing baking. It also helped me get comfortable with the idea that David won’t be a fully independent sleeper when he has a reflux peaking period – and that I can, and should, just enjoy the snuggles we have together.”

David’s reflux has meant Louise has had to adapt at any given moment and go with whatever he needs at that time. She has found Ora Toa (their Well Child provider) and their GP to be great sources of support and information.

33 | KiwiParent

Newborns

“Ora Toa and our GP have recognised the huge impact that living with a reflux baby has had on us as a family. They’ve offered us tailored support and encouragement over the last few months and have become our biggest cheerleaders. We feel so supported and very grateful,” says Louise.

On the bright side and beyond

are still very fortunate and never compare David to any other baby.

Louise and Edward find that talking about what David is (smiley, giggly and a bath-time lover), rather than talking about

“David is on his own path and it’s our job to support him and meet his needs as best we can,” says Louise.

what he’s not (a good sleeper and feeder), really helps their outlook.

With most babies outgrowing infant reflux by 12 months of age, the couple remind themselves they

“As parents, we’re just doing our best to navigate the different seasons of parenthood.”

KP

Becoming a parent

Expert opinion Dr Tosh Stanley, Consultant Paediatrician, Senior Lecturer in Paediatrics at the University of Otago, Wellington, and Member of the Australasian Society of Clinical Immunology and Allergy, says it’s important to seek medical advice if you’re concerned about your baby.

But it’s important to know that this

“We’re unsure at this stage why some babies cry more than others.

We see these babies screaming, gurgling and pulling their legs up to their chest – seemingly in pain.

biorhythms – but it is important

isn’t always the case,” he says.

Dr Stanley says that sometimes babies can have a ‘technique problem’ with feeding and burping, and other times babies could be crying due to their own to get to the bottom of it.

“By 5pm most people are tired – babies are no different. Babies

complain and this is usually their time to do it!” he says.

Dr Stanley explains that some data suggests the way bacteria are building up in babies’ tummies could be the reflux culprit.

“Some bacteria are good, and some are bad. We’re seeing early research come out which shows that giving babies a certain strain of probiotics has a positive improvement in their reflux.”

Family survival tips Jenny Overwater, who is the National Coordinator of the Gastric Reflux Support Network NZ (GRSNNZ), says having a child with gastric reflux can be a long and lonely road. She believes that one of the greatest survival tools for parents is simply support and understanding.

GRSNNZ brings families

Here are the top four reflux management strategies that GRSNNZ members find helpful: 1

Baby wearing: Reflux babies

Baby massage: Massage

often prefer the upright

can help with digestion

position, and the movement

and sleep and is a great

is a soothing distraction

bonding experience.

from their discomfort.

2

3

4

Taking the time to look after

Regular winding and

yourself too: Reach out for

burping: A great technique

help. There is a raft of support

together to share their collective

is to hold baby high on

services available to families

experiences and connect with

the shoulder with a nice

and there are people you

people on similar journeys.

straight body to allow the

can connect with who can

wind to escape more easily.

relate to your situation.

FOR MORE INFORMATION There are many ideas on what causes infant reflux – and the severity can differ widely.

If you would like more information on infant reflux, or require support, please speak with your Well Child provider or midwife, your GP, or visit www.cryingoverspiltmilk.co.nz.

35 | KiwiParent

35 | KiwiParent

Becoming a parent

What Bridget didn’t realise at the time was that her son was one of the 10% of Kiwi children who have food allergies.

When food harms Navigating the world of allergies in children and babies

A

What Bridget didn’t realise at

her four-year-old son Noah was

one of the 10% of Kiwi children

a baby, it isn’t fond memories

who have food allergies.

s Wellington mother Bridget Madar reflects back to when

of snuggling a newborn she recalls, but instead a very stressful time in her life.

“Noah was incredibly stressed,”

the time was that her son was

Registered Dietitian Rebecca Bruce, from Kidz Nutrition, says the reason why food allergies are increasing is currently unknown.

she explains. “He cried continually, didn’t sleep and developed

“We’re seeing more infants and

severe eczema. He seemed to

children with suspected food

be constantly unhappy with a

allergies or intolerances in the

never-ending runny nose.”

healthcare setting. This is in part

36 | KiwiParent

due to increased awareness, but also likely due to environmental factors.”

She says that there’s a lot of different thinking around why food allergies may be increasing.

“There are theories such as the ‘hygiene hypothesis’, where there is a lack of exposure to microorganisms in the early years of life, low Vitamin D, changes in diet and exposure to environmental pollutants, but there’s no one answer,” she says.

Becoming a parent

Feeding baby

Registered Dietitian Rebecca Bruce, from Kidz Nutrition, says the reason why food allergies are increasing is currently unknown.

For Bridget, the road travelled before an official diagnosis was the hardest.

“Noah had a really rough journey before he was diagnosed.

My GP kept turning us away thinking it was nothing more than heat rash. I knew in my heart that wasn’t true and that something else was going on.”

Bridget ended up doing some of her own research and cut out different foods from her diet so as not to pass them on to Noah through her milk. Things would improve, and then go downhill again.

“It wasn’t until he had an anaphylactic reaction at seven

months old that we finally got a referral for allergy testing – and were eventually told he likely had multiple allergies.”

At ten months old a simple skin prick test confirmed his allergies. Dairy, eggs, dust mites, peanuts and tree nuts.

“It was a huge relief to know what his allergies were so that we could start trying to manage it, but at the same time it was hugely frustrating that it took so long to get to this point.”

Rebecca says that some of the difficulty lies around a correct diagnosis.

“When we look at rates of food allergy, people often refer to an adverse food reaction as an allergy – when it is actually a food intolerance. This is where the reaction is delayed and is not caused by an immune system response.”

Introducing solids to baby Rebecca explains that solids should be introduced at around six months of age when a baby is developmentally ready.

“Introduction of higher-risk allergen foods including cow’s milk protein, egg, peanuts, tree nuts, soy, wheat, fish, and shellfish should not be delayed. There’s a common misconception that you may prevent food allergies 37 | KiwiParent

Feeding baby

“He also had to wear silk mittens as a baby to stop him scratching his itchy skin raw – as he suffers with eczema as a result of his allergies.”

by doing this, but the opposite is true – you could actually increase the risk of food allergies.

“Introducing high-risk food allergens before 12 months of age can reduce the risk of developing an allergy to that food.”

Rebecca recommends starting to introduce the higher-risk allergen foods soon after solids are introduced, one at a time.

Potential allergens should be introduced in a texturally safe and appropriate form, such as blending cooked egg with puree, or mixing peanut, cashew, or almond butter with puree.

“Once an allergen is introduced you should continue to give these foods regularly to maintain tolerance,” she says.

38 | KiwiParent

Managing diagnosed allergies For the Madar household, helping to manage and stay on top of Noah’s (and subsequently his younger brother Sonny’s) allergies has meant a complete lifestyle change.

“We’ve changed the kind of bedding he has, the way we cook, what we cook with, what food we allow in our house, the laundry detergent we use, the body wash, shampoo and creams we use and the fabric of the clothes he wears,” Bridget explains.

“He also had to wear silk mittens as a baby to stop him scratching his itchy skin raw – as he suffers with eczema as a result of his allergies.”

Rebecca says that once a GP or specialist has confirmed that your child has a food allergy, working with a dietitian can help you

safely manage the allergies while ensuring a nutritionally adequate diet and appropriate growth.

“Avoiding food groups without a diagnosis can increase risk of allergy and compromise nutrition,” she says.

Now that Noah is four, Bridget says things have got slightly easier. “He understands his allergies. He’s really vigilant and checks if he’s offered food from someone. He’s also great at understanding why he needs to apply certain creams.

“It’s a bit harder with my two-yearold, Sonny. He doesn’t understand, so he gets really frustrated when we don’t let him have certain foods. It becomes really hard at birthday parties where lots of the food is within arm’s reach for him, and not being able to have birthday cake just doesn’t

Noah has had anaphylactic reactions to food in the past

feel fair for a child – he can feel really left out,” says Bridget.

Tips for parents who have children with allergies

The future

Having navigated allergies in her

Rebecca says that children often grow out of food allergies by school age, particularly milk and egg. There are some food allergies that are more likely to persist into adulthood such as fish, shellfish, peanuts and tree nuts.

“I think Sonny may be growing out of his allergies – his eczema is now very mild and he no longer comes up with hives instantly after touching dairy products. But unfortunately, Noah’s allergies and eczema have remained the same,” says Bridget.

“The good news is, however, there are lots of great allergy-friendly food options and things are labelled really clearly. I’ve joined numerous Facebook groups that provide lots of great recipes and allergy-friendly food hacks.”

children for over four years now, Bridget says that all the advice can become overwhelming.

She says that what works for one family won’t necessarily work for another.

“However, I’d say trust your gut and push for answers when you’re navigating the health system.

Everyone deserves support to help manage their baby’s allergies and eczema, so keep going back to your doctor until you feel satisfied.

“Look after yourself, too; it can be really stressful.

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Becoming Older children a parent

Returning to routines How to help ease your little ones back into the day-to-day after the Christmas break

W

hile relaxed routines, later bedtimes and slower days in the sun have been a wonderful part of the Christmas holidays for many Kiwi children, the looming school and kindy term means that parents may start thinking about resettling their children back into the hustle and bustle of normality as gently as possible.

slower pace of the holidays can be quite confronting for the whole family,” says Ellie Gwilliam from Parenting Place.

“Returning to busy domestic and work routines after the

“All children are different – some will be excited to head back to

40 | KiwiParent

Ellie, the mother of three children herself, says that it’s a good idea to pace yourself and leave plenty of gaps to slow down and relax together, stretching out the summer holiday vibes as long as possible.

kindy or school and see their friends again, while others will have loved the slower pace of the holidays and uninterrupted family time,” she says.

“These children might feel a bit anxious about separating from you again. You can help them prepare for the transition with some light, positive talk about their kindy or preschool experience – reminding them about the things they like to do when they’re there, how

Becoming a parent

Ellie’s top tips to help children return to routine If your little ones are returning to early childhood learning, talking about the routine and reminding them about their teachers, their friends, the play equipment will help them prepare.

Connection is key – allow plenty of time and space for simply being close with your child as they readjust.

Involve your children – chat about the things they need each day and have them help get their lunchbox and bag ready with you.

A visit to their learning centre, even if it’s just walking by, can help refamiliarise your child with the sight and feel of things.

This also reduces the number of new things they experience on that first day back.

proud you are of their ability to cope on their own for a while and how excited you get about seeing them again at pick-up time.”

Lowering expectations for the first few weeks is also an important consideration while the whole family readjusts to tighter schedules.

“Behaviour might be tricky as little ones process their new routine or early learning environment,” says Ellie.

Gently firm up your morning routine again before the term starts – having breakfast, getting dressed and brushing their teeth in a more ‘efficient’ manner will be good practice for getting back to normal daily rhythms.

You could make a calendar with photos, drawings and words to help your child become familiar again with the shape of a ‘normal’ week and the various environments they head off to. Point out the week’s highlights – “Grandma picks you up this day, Friday night we have pizza and a movie, Sunday we’re all at home.”

to your child. This will give your child the opportunity to think through their own responses and even mentally rehearse their return to early learning.

Go out together and buy a few supplies – maybe a new drink bottle, a hat, or some sunscreen for their backpack. They could help you name their items and practise packing their bag.

Above all else, remind yourself that the transition back into work and learning is an adjustment for everyone

Storytelling is a great tool for helping children process challenges and transitions. Make up a bedtime story featuring a character with similar activities

– so it can be a good idea to

“They might have more questions than usual, more to tell you about their day, or they might not say much at all, but a parent’s mere presence speaks volumes, so try to stay close and available.”

Aiming to keep things as calm as possible – unrushed mornings through preparation the night before and aiming for enough sleep each night – will help you all get out the door on time and unfrazzled.

Holidays are technically a time to relax, but invariably bedtimes get pushed back and children can get quite tired. Returning to normal routines, especially the early morning starts, can be quite a shock to the system.

“Tightening up on bedtime and ensuring our little ones are getting enough sleep can really help everyone feel fresher and in control,” she says.

make another cup of coffee and plan your next holiday!

KP

41 | KiwiParent

Becoming a parent

Strengthening relationships under pressure

We all went through a lot last year.

Families were called upon to go to whole new levels of support for one another as changing alert levels compromised our ability to get out and socialise.

We relied on our bubble mates, which has been beautiful in lots of ways, but testing in others!

Many of us felt that our relationships with our nearest and dearest had been strained and drained.

42 | KiwiParent

Tolerance may have gone out the window and patience was at an alltime low. Fear not, this is a perfectly understandable outcome given the circumstances we’ve been facing.

It is a good indicator, however, that some focus on strengthening our tired and tested relationships could be hugely beneficial right now. For partnerships, for parents and for siblings.

Lower expectations We can put some pretty high expectations on ourselves to be an awesome partner, parent, person or all of the above. Now is the time to try what psychologists call ‘radical self-acceptance’, that is, accepting everything about ourselves without question, blame or pushback. No one gets a medal for winning through this time; we are all truly doing the best we can through some very tricky

Becoming a parent

Being a family

away with poor behaviour. We need to try and understand what’s going on for our kids when they misbehave, rather than simply letting them off the hook. Likewise, aiming to empathise with what they’re feeling when they have a tantrum is the ideal here, instead of just accepting a tantrum as par for the course. We can still be consistent with our limits and boundaries, while seeking ‘connection before correction’.

Time together

situations. Seriously, you’re doing great and good is good enough!

It helps to then also lower expectations on our partner and kids. They’re dealing with some tough stuff too, so lowered expectations and gentle responses go a long way to strengthen our relationships.

That said, lowering expectations doesn’t mean we let our kids get

Time together spent simply playing is so powerful, especially for younger children who find it difficult to communicate how they are feeling. Play is cathartic and can help children process their experiences. Plus, play alongside a parent or caregiver is gold in terms of connection. Getting down on a child’s level and following their lead in play – even if you only have ten minutes to do so – speaks volumes. Your presence is so reassuring for your child and helps top up their emotional tank.

Time apart Remember that expression ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’? Yeah, well lockdown certainly flipped that on its head.

We were together. All. The. Time.

It’s pretty normal for all that time together to result in some tested nerves. A bit of absence could very well help hearts grow fonder.

You don’t have to go far but grab some space if you can. Talk to your partner about ways you can both get a break and some timeout alone to do whatever it is that fills your cup. Best case scenario, you might even miss each other!

It also helps to remember that while connection and togetherness are lovely, so is allowing each other space at home too. Kids might like your help to create a cosy nook where they can have some quiet time by themselves, and the grown-ups – well, let’s just say man caves, she sheds, garages, gardens and home offices all serve a very useful function when it comes to harmonious relationships!

Extend grace Stress brings out the worst in us.

We’re all going to have moments when we’re not at our best.

Whenever you can, communicate empathy and offer your loved ones the benefit of the doubt – and a wide berth when they need it. All things being equal, they’ll do the same for you.

We don’t have to engage in every argument, and it definitely doesn’t do us any good to 43 | KiwiParent

Being a family

hold onto grudges or continue disagreements. Extend grace and let its beauty permeate your home and enhance your relationships.

Keep the problem the problem When things get tense, it’s really important to remember that our partner and/or our child is not the problem. This takes a few deep breaths and some dedication, but if you can work together to fight the problem, instead of fighting each other, the problem will be more easily resolved.

The Pause, Hold, Engage tool (which you can read more about at parentingplace.nz), comes in really handy in this context.

Identify the problem, then look 44 | KiwiParent

for win-win solutions. It’s about compromise – think about what’s important for each person and ask how you can find a solution that meets the needs of both parties.

Communicate well

3. Use active listening skills to check you understand what the other person has said.

4. Avoid labelling (‘You always…’ or ‘You never…’).

It may sound like we’re really going back to basics now, but the basics are actually important and very helpful! Here are six key ideas to keep in mind in the pursuit of healthy and constructive communication:

5. Use ‘I’ statements to talk about how you feel and what you would like.

1. Choose an appropriate time to discuss conflict.

If we ourselves can make simple changes in the way we act or respond, we may very well see things change for the better in our relationships.

2. Let each person speak without interruption.

6. Speak with a calm voice and use manners.

Be the change

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2020

2020

Woolbabe Sleeping Bag “The perfect summer bag. Feels beautiful and washes up really well.

I love that it’s natural fibers”

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At times we might feel dissatisfied with our relationships and wish the other person/people would change.

However, changing other people is very difficult – if not impossible.

What is in our power to change?

Our own responses. If we ourselves can make simple changes in the way we act or respond, like picking up some of the ideas suggested in this article for example, we may very well see things change for the better in our relationships.

Feeling strain in your relationships during a global pandemic and off the back of weeks of lockdown does not mean your relationships are damaged beyond repair, nor does it make you a failure. It makes you human. And we humans are a resilient bunch. So, take a deep breath, look after yourself and pat yourself on the back for doing such a great job looking after your family – in sickness and in health, you’ve totally got this!

So there you go. No rocket science here, just some simple reminders to extend kindness – towards yourself and your family members.

Lower the expectations, prioritise connection and dedicate some time to the serious business of play.

Written by Katherine Tarr and republished with minor changes with permission from Parenting Place.

Boba Wrap Baby Carrier “So easy to use, super comfortable absolutely in love with it, it’s my go to carrier ”

Drift Travel Cot “Lightweight, easy to assemble.

My daughter sleeps great in it”

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The silicone lining on the Crane pump makes it super soft and comfortable. I also LOVE the fact that it is rechargeable so I can use it anywhere!”

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Member only savings!

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2020

Becoming Book review a parent

“Tino rawe! Super fun for learning!” ANIKA MOA

Reo Pēpi board books This beautiful toru (three) box set includes three board books: Mahi (Actions), Kupu Tauaro (Opposites), and Kare ā-roto (Feelings).

The Reo Pēpi board books introduce essential concepts for everyday use of te reo Māori and English, and feature some of Aotearoa’s favourite characters. Share these delightful books with your whānau as you explore conversational language.

Be in to win this Reo Pēpi board books set from Allen & Unwin retails for $49.99

ENTER ONLINE AT: parentscentre.org.nz/giveaways Entries must be received by 1st March, 2021.

Winners will be published in issue 300.

46 | KiwiParent

Becoming a parent

“Including te reo Māori and other languages at this time in childhood creates connections that will aid learning and cognitive development.”

Meet the authors

K

itty Brown and Kirsten Parkinson developed the

Reo Pēpi books out of a desire to produce really simple, userfriendly bilingual board books in te reo Māori for Māori and Pākehā whānau alike.

Their passion for Reo Pēpi grew from their own whānau. They are cousins through their taua (Ivy and Mere Karaitiana) and grew up close in a tino ātaahua extended whānau. After education, travelling, living overseas, careers and having children, they both returned to their rohe, living in the same little village, Portobello, on the Otago Peninsula.

“We were inspired by them to learn some more te reo Māori. We saw a lack in shops and libraries for the kind of books we wanted for our own homes, our own children. We decided to have a go at creating something we wished was there,” says Kitty.

Kitty says that it’s well known that the first 1,000 days are the most prolific time for a child’s brain development. If we provide our tamariki with a rich and diverse exposure to languages and storytelling during this time they have the best chance at being positive communicators later in life.

“We brainstormed concepts – things we wanted to learn in te reo and ideas we were encountering in daily whānau life. Kirsten created illustrations and we set the text to match. We took photocopied printouts to local Early Childhood Centres and kōhanga and they were well received. This gave us courage to develop the idea.”

“Including te reo Māori and other languages at this time in childhood creates connections that will aid learning and cognitive development. Wrap all that up with beautiful images and cuddles at bedtime – Reo Pēpi books are taonga for your tamariki!

And some Kiwi parents might learn a thing or two also!”

47 | KiwiParent

Becoming a parent

Recipes 48 | KiwiParent

SERVES 4 ADULTS Prep: 10 mins | Cook: 2 hours 30 mins | Low fat |

Iron-rich

casserole

Good source of iron | Low sodium

400g steak 150g sheep or ox kidney 1 tablespoon olive oil 1 small onion, chopped into quarters

This iron-packed casserole is a gentle way to introduce kidney to the family. Kidneys are very high in iron but can be an overwhelming flavour when eaten alone. But combined with steak and vegetables it makes for a delicious, ironrich casserole great for bubs and the rest of the family.

METHOD Trim any excess fat off the steak and cut into 2cm cubes.

To prepare the kidneys, halve and cut out the fatty

2 stalks celery, sliced with stringy bits removed

white cores. Slice kidneys into small bite size pieces.

Heat oil in a frypan or stove top casserole dish and cook

2 carrots, chopped into slices

the onion and celery on a moderate heat for a few minutes.

Add the carrot, potato and kumara, and continue cooking

1 medium kumara, diced chunky

for several minutes. Reduce the heat to medium.

Add the beef and kidneys and stir well. Add the thyme and

2 medium-sized potatoes, diced chunky

beef stock (or water), and cover the casserole before placing in the oven at 170°C for 1.5 - 2 hours or until the meat is tender.

If cooking for a young baby, remove some meat, vegetables

1 tablespoon chopped fresh thyme

(not onion) and liquid at this stage to chop or pureé.

Add the Worcestershire sauce, salt and pepper

3 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce

to taste, combined flour and water, stir well and

2 tablespoons chopped parsley

Garnish with more parsley and serve in bowls

cook for another 5 minutes until thickened.

with some crusty bread to mop up the sauce and some steamed green vegetables.

2 cups low salt beef stock (or water)

6-7 MONTHS Once all these foods have been introduced to baby, purée to

1 tablespoon flour or cornflour, mixed with a little cold water until smooth

a smooth consistency, introducing more lumps over time.

8-9 MONTHS ONWARDS Serve as cooked, with extra vegetables, mashed, chopped or once cooled slightly as finger foods.

Recipes courtesy of Beef + Lamb New Zealand 49 | KiwiParent

Recipes

50 | KiwiParent

10 BABY SERVES Prep: 10 mins | Cook: 15 mins

Baby's beef mince

with kumara

200g Quality Mark beef or lamb mince 200g peeled cubed kumara (about 1.5 cups)

This recipe is excellent to use for the first introduction to meat.

Ensure that baby has been introduced to cooked kumara and apple before introducing meat. This recipe makes enough for freezing; do this in freezer ice cube trays or small single serve jars.

200g peeled cubed apple (about 1.5 cups)

METHOD Put apple and kumara and broken up mince into a saucepan. Add water and bring slowly to the boil.

1 cup of water, or enough to cover

Simmer gently for 15-20 minutes or until all ingredients are cooked through and soft.

Pureé all ingredients to a smooth consistency. Add a small amount of additional boiled water if needed.

SERVES 8 (APPROX) Prep: 15 mins | Cook: 15 mins

1 cup soft breadcrumbs 500g lean Quality Mark beef or lamb mince 1/2 onion, peeled and finely chopped 1 small carrot, grated 1 egg 1 teaspoon mixed herbs or 1 tablespoon chopped fresh herbs (optional) 1 teaspoon crushed garlic

Mini meatballs Great to have on hand for your toddler or older baby. These meatballs can be made, fried and frozen, then defrosted and reheated to serve as a meal when needed. Alternatively they can be served cold as a snack food.

METHOD Take one to two slices of bread and pop in a food processor to yield one cup of soft breadcrumbs. Alternatively, if you don’t have a food processor, cut off the crusts and wet the bread briefly under a spray of water and place in the mixing bowl.

Mix the bread with the next six ingredients in a large bowl until all well combined. This is best done with clean hands or a potato masher.

Roll into approximately 24 small balls, toss lightly in plain flour. TIP: use wet hands for this step.

Heat the oil in a frypan on medium heat and cook meatballs for approximately 10-15 minutes until they are no longer pink inside.

1 tablespoon olive oil Serve with chopped cooked vegetables, kumara (or pasta) and fruit. Alternatively serve cold as a snack food.

51 | KiwiParent

Recipes

52 | KiwiParent

SERVES 12 TODDLERS Prep: 5 mins | Cook: 45 mins

Toddler

bolognese 500g Quality Mark beef or lamb mince 1 small onion, finely chopped 2 tablespoons olive oil 1 medium sized carrot, grated

Mince is a family favourite and a good source of dietary protein, iron and zinc. This Toddler Bolognese will be a hit with the whole family and sneaks in plenty of extra vegetables. Still serve some broccoli or green beans on the side, as it’s good to normalise eating whole vegetables from a young age. This recipe serves 5 adults.

METHOD Fry onion in olive oil until translucent.

1 zucchini, grated or 1 celery stalk, finely chopped

Add mince, garlic and dried herbs, fry till mince is browned, about 5 minutes.

1 small capsicum (finely diced) – if in season

Add tomato paste and capsicum and fry for 1 minute.

1 clove garlic, crushed

Add vegetables, stock, and chopped tomatoes and simmer till vegetables have softened.

400g can salt-reduced chopped tomatoes in juice

Simmer with the lid off for around 15 minutes, till all vegetables are cooked and sauce is reduced.

2 tablespoon tomato paste Serve over cooked spaghetti and sprinkle with chopped

2 cups salt-reduced beef stock

parsley. Optional – sprinkle over some grated cheese.

1 teaspoon dried basil 1 teaspoon dried oregano Parsley for serving ½ cup grated cheese – optional 300g dried spaghetti

53 | KiwiParent

Recipes

SERVES 9 Prep: 10 mins | Cook: 30 mins

Lamb’s liver

& vegetables

150g Quality Mark liver, sliced, skin removed

Suitable from 6-7 months. A small spoonful of cooked and puréed lamb’s fry (liver) added to sieved or mashed vegetables gives a good iron boost.

1 tablespoon olive oil 1 carrot, peeled and diced 1 small courgette, diced or ½ cup of peas 1.5 cups pumpkin (around 200g), peeled and cut into small chunks 1 large leaf silverbeet, stalk and leaves, finely chopped

METHOD To prepare liver, slice thinly (1cm thick) and using a paring knife peel away the fine covering of skin and discard any tough tubular bits.

Gently pan fry the liver for several minutes each side until just cooked through and set aside.

Cook all the vegetables in a pot until soft. Toward the end of cooking drop in chopped liver.

Purée, mash or chop vegetables as appropriate for your baby.

1.5 cups water BABIES 6-7 MONTHS Purée the liver and vegetables with the vegetable cooking liquid. If necessary, pass through a sieve.

BABIES 8-9 MONTHS Serve mashed or cooked as finger food.

54 | KiwiParent

Parents Centre Aotearoa

55 | KiwiParent

Becoming a parent

Philips Avent Electric Breast Pump Expressing that’s

extremely fast and incredibly gentle

56 | KiwiParent

Product review

Introducing a new era in breast pumps – the new Philips Avent Electric Breast Pump provides the perfect balance of suction and nipple stimulation inspired by baby’s natural suckling motion.

Expressing has never been easier.

Mimicking baby’s natural suckling motion, the unique soft and adaptive massage cushion on the

new Philips Avent Electric Breast Pump stimulates the nipple, triggering the key hormones prolactin and oxytocin for milk production and quicker milk flow, making expressing simple, fast and gentle. Personalising your expressing experience has never been easier, with 8 stimulation and 16 expression settings, combined with a convenient pause/play and

memory function so you don’t have to remember where you left off if you get interrupted!

The stylish, compact and lightweight motor fits in the palm of your hand and it’s super quiet for a discreet experience anywhere, anytime.

Perfect balance of suction and nipple stimulation Inspired by baby’s natural suckling motion Unique soft, adaptive cushion Expressing is simple, fast and gentle 8 stimulation and 16 expression settings

Photographs of mums and babies

by Stacey Lake Photography.

57 | KiwiParent

57 | KiwiParent

Product review

Mamas’ testimonials We asked three Parents Centre Aotearoa members to try out the new Philips Avent Electric Breast Pump and tell us how they found it.

“I was previously using a manual breast pump and, while it got the job done, the electric breast pump is better suited to my feeding and expressing routine. The Philips Avent Electric Pump is super userfriendly, hugs the breast and has a really helpful memory feature that saves your last setting.”

Shona, first-time mum to a two-month-old

58 | KiwiParent

“I love how small and quiet this pump is. It’s really going to come in handy when I go back to work!”

Fiona, first-time mum to a five-month-old

“Being a single electric breast pump meant I could easily express while tending to baby in the other arm as the pump unit was very compact, quiet and super-efficient. My milk flowed really easily and each express was a matter of minutes on either side, which made life that much easier when juggling three preschool-aged children.”

Miriam, third-time mum to a one-month-old

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59 | KiwiParent

Becoming a parent

“The antenatal classes certainly prepared me for supporting my partner leading into and during birth.”

Josh and Lee with baby Felix Fei

Dads of antenatal Talk of childbirth education classes can come with mixed feelings for fathers to be – with many unsure quite how they’ll be involved and what they’ll get out of them.

60 | KiwiParent

Dads Q & A

“We are currently planning another catch-up over a beer. It’s helpful having people at the same stage as you.”

C

hildbirth education classes have come a long way since the 1950s and today focus on providing the information and support that both mums and dads will need on their parenting journey.

Childbirth Educator Liz Pearce says that occasionally dads can feel like they’ll be a spare part.

“We sometimes get dads coming up to us at the end of the programme saying they initially weren’t too keen on attending, but they got so much out of it and always looked forward to coming back each week,” she says.

We chat with two new fathers – Luke, dad to twins Chloe and Izzy, and Josh, dad to Felix Fei – about their experience at childbirth education classes and what they got out of them.

What were your expectations of childbirth education classes?

Josh: In all honesty, I didn’t know what to expect. I suppose I was more excited about the thought of having my first child and just wanted to learn as much as possible to be prepared for our baby. I was eager to attend these classes, especially hearing good feedback from friends and colleagues. Although, my partner always seemed one step ahead of me in discovering and

understanding new things! I anticipated that my role would be a participant, there to learn and understand things about pregnancy and baby development.

Luke: I wasn’t too sure what to expect. I only had comments from friends and family that had done them before to go off. But I was really keen to equip myself with as much information as I could, particularly when we found out we were having twins! Although it turns out nothing can fully prepare you for the reality of parenthood.

What did you find most surprising about the classes?

Josh: What stood out for me during antenatal class with Mana Parents Centre was that one of the key components of the class was learning how the support person can best support the birthing mother. There were lots of engaging activities to build empathy and demonstrate what role we play during pregnancy, birth and raising the child. The content didn’t shy away from detail, which was great.

Luke: I was quite surprised at the fact that it answered a lot of questions I didn’t even know I had. Things that I wouldn’t have thought to ask but were really helpful to know. They create questions and conversations between you and your partner in

and around what each person’s expectations are. These are great to have BEFORE little one(s) arrive!

What was the biggest challenge?

Josh: The biggest challenge was getting to class after a long day of work, but once I was there I’d tend to forget about time and be immersed in the class.

Luke: Doing a class after a day at work can be a challenge! But it was done well because it was so interactive and engaging with group activities that it got you involved and thinking. It prevented zoning out or staring blankly at a whiteboard while a few hours of information was being communicated.

What was the most interesting thing you learnt?

Josh: What I found most helpful during the class was how we were taught to manage our expectations around birth plans and instead were encouraged to use the term ‘birth wish list’. So, when we had discussions about the realities and context of what was available to us, it helped empower me to support my partner with decision making when she was giving birth to our little girl.

Luke: I found it fascinating learning about the way the body adjusts and adapts through pregnancy, birth and postnatal – such as the 61 | KiwiParent

Becoming a parent

Luke and Kate with twins Izzy and Chloe

hormones that are released to begin labour and can slow down when the mother is stressed.

And that when breastfeeding, the mother’s milk is tailored to the baby and changes if baby is sick to give them what they need – even releasing a sleep hormone at night. Such a miraculous process and an incredible design!

Did you feel more prepared going into the birth?

Josh: The antenatal classes certainly prepared me for supporting my partner leading into and during birth. I think it took a lot of the stress away because

62 | KiwiParent

what to expect and how we can approach emerging situations was addressed during class.

Luke: Yes absolutely, this was one of the biggest things the classes helped with. We felt equipped by knowing what the different methods of delivery were and assistance that’s needed at times. It meant I wasn’t asking questions like ‘is this normal?’ ‘what’s happening’?’ ‘is everything okay?’. We had already covered that stuff beforehand, so I was able to just support Kate.

Have you kept in touch with some of the other dads in the group?

Josh: Absolutely! I felt lucky because we had a fun and welcoming group of people.

All the guys there were willing to learn and participate, which made it easier to get along. I dare say we will certainly keep in touch, especially seeing that we are all local to each other.

Luke: Yeah, we are currently planning another catch-up over a beer. It’s helpful having people at the same stage as you. We all get on well!

Becoming a parent

Parents Centre Aotearoa

KiwiParent is the magazine of Parents Centre Aotearoa.

Supporting parents to grow great kids and build lifelong communities.

Aotearoa’s largest provider of parenting support and education.

www.parentscentre.org.nz

63 | KiwiParent

KiwiParent | 63

Parents Centre Aotearoa

SPOTLIGHT ON:

Parent education programmes (antenatal) Many incredible changes occur to a woman’s body when she becomes pregnant. The wonderful thing is that it all happens without conscious thought. For example, the baby’s fingernails begin forming without mum looking up developmental stages and thinking “this week it’s nails!” How incredible is that?

So, why attend pregnancy and childbirth programmes or classes if a growing baby happens without a textbook or instructions? Surely birthing and breastfeeding will be the same?

The answer is “yes, they are”. Giving birth is a natural physiological event, as is breastfeeding.

In this modern world, however, we are no longer surrounded by birth and breastfeeding in the course of

our lives. For many women the first experience they have of birthing is when they give birth themselves.

This is not helped by the media’s widespread portrayal of birth, which is often far from reality.

This can leave some women without the confidence or the knowledge needed to trust their own body. So, antenatal – or childbirth education – programmes can be a lifesaver for couples who want well-researched, up-to-date information on the basics of childbearing.

Parents Centre’s Aotearoa childbirth education programmes cater for all situations, including when labour doesn’t go to plan and when breastfeeding can be challenging.

Information is power and, in an often medically oriented birthing situation, this knowledge is empowering for both parents.

Many parents also find it extremely rewarding to have the opportunity to take time out of their busy lives to dedicate a couple of hours a week to planning for the birth of their baby. The ‘coffee groups’ that follow the class series become lifelines for some. To network with other parents at the same stage of life, experiencing similar challenges and joys, is confidence boosting and very rewarding.

The programmes are run by qualified professional Childbirth Educators, who are knowledgeable and skilled in facilitation, to ensure that your experience of antenatal classes is fun, interactive, valuable and informative.

To find your local Parents Centre and classes running in your area go to www.parentscentre.org.nz 64 | KiwiParent

Parents Centre Aotearoa

Our new website If you love this new-look KiwiParent, then you are going to love our website too!

Parents Centre Aotearoa

Parents Centre Aotearoa has a new website to better support

it easy to navigate through information as your pēpi grows.

the work that we do and the information we share with Kiwi whānau around the country.

Our new website digitally connects and links in with KiwiParent magazine– with reliable information now at your fingertips.

Our website offers a trove of material for Kiwi families, which will be kept fresh with new articles that are all grouped according to babies’ ages, making

KiwiParent magazine works alongside and in support of our antenatal classes and our new website will expand on KiwiParent articles and provide our readers with further links to research and connected content.

You can re-subscribe to KiwiParent magazine via our new website once your initial annual subscription has ended and be in the draw to win a new electric Philips Avent breast pump – see page 1.

www.parentscentre.org.nz KiwiParent | 65

Parents Centre Aotearoa

PARENTS CENTRE’S PAST

Birthing in Burma The Parents Centre course that had medics shocked

Sara turned to art while in hospital recovering from childbirth

Sara Tuki Pascoe-Clarke sits in the quiet room of her nursing home in Wellington’s Upper Hutt, rifling through a bundle of old photographs and papers.

“Ah, here it is!” she says. “Here’s the painting I did after giving birth – it’s of the mountain view from my hospital bed!”

To this day, the 76-year-old still has vividly fond memories of her birth experience halfway across the world in Mandalay, Burma, over 50 years ago, thanks to Parents Centre Aotearoa.

“A friend of mine sent me a course booklet that Upper Hutt Parents Centre had put together for expectant mothers. She found it very useful and thought I’d get some value from it too – especially birthing in a foreign country away from friends and family.”

Sara explains the course had exercises to practise pre-birth to help with the birthing journey as well as post-birth to help aid a faster recovery.

She sits and reflects for a moment. “Ah yes, I remember it also had great information on breastfeeding and what to expect from life with a newborn,” she says.

66 | KiwiParent

Sara had followed the course religiously.

“Whenever I was peeling vegetables or other domestic chores, I would crouch down in a birthing position, which the course recommended you practise, to strengthen the muscles needed in birth. I’d practise the breathing exercises and learnt all I could on what happens to your body during birth,” she says.

When the day finally arrived, Sara quietly distracted herself from her contractions with a very serious and heavy book, The Idiot, by Fyodor Dostoyevsky.

When the time came to push, Sara had the three midwives in her birthing suite in shock, each exclaiming “Goodness me!” repeatedly in Burmese as she quietly applied the breathing techniques she learnt in her Parents Centre course.

“The doctor came in towards the end of the birth – and he was just as shocked as the midwives.

When my baby finally arrived earth side, he told me that I was the best patient he’d ever had. My body was definitely well prepared for birth!”

Sara was so inspired by her positive birthing experience that she wrote a poem, ‘An Ode

Parents Centre Aotearoa

Parents Centre Aotearoa

An Ode to Childbirth

by Sara Tuki Pascoe-Clarke, May 1970 A woman clothed in dignity, Eve without her fig-leaf Lying in the Garden of Paradise.

Sara with her firstborn in Burma

An excruciatingly beautiful Flower begins to form; to Childbirth’, as a way to always look back on that day. She flicks through her treasured belongings to find it – it appears, typed out neatly on a piece of aged, yellow paper.

Slowly, meticulously, exactly opened A gorge, water-carved, Lies permissive, allowing The water flow.

The tide came in, turned,

“I became quite creative during those early years

And now is flowing

with babies. After the birth of my second six years

Out into a new life.

later back in New Zealand, I took up painting, poetry writing and playing the flute as a way to help navigate a few years of postnatal depression.”

Flowing, ebbing, the Tide of Life Urges through her body; She “heaves a boulder”;

She reflects on how she used to pop her four-

The team cheers;

month-old baby in her backpack carrier and walk

And a child, a Super-Child, is born

across to Totara Park in Upper Hutt. “I’d sit there

Can she hold this

and play the flute with my baby. By the time I got back home again, I’d feel a hefty lift in my mood.

“I’ve always held Parents Centre in such high regard and am able to look back with fond thoughts

Wonder within her grasp?

A complex complete fulfilment Of discomfort and joy Twined into the one emotion.

of those years. The simple act of a birthing and

Can she hold this within

postnatal course being sent by post halfway across

her humanity?

the world to me created what I believe to be the

A woman’s virtual

best birthing outcome for my baby and me all

re-birth is childbirth.

those years ago – for that I’ll always be grateful.”

67 | KiwiParent

KiwiParent | 67

Parents Centre Aotearoa

The birth of Parents Centres Acknowledgement: information for this article has been taken from The Trouble with Women, by Mary Dobbie and from letters written to the Palmerston North Parents Centre.

Sixty-six years ago, on the 1st of February 1955, a deeply grateful new mother wrote to the Palmerston North Parents Centre, “My deepest thanks must go to the Centre and particularly to Mrs Gillies whose guidance enabled me to have both babies born alive.

I was assured by the Sister who helped me deliver the babies that had I had to resort to sedatives the chances would have been very slim for the smallest twin.”

Just three years earlier, Parents Centre had its beginnings in Wellington, led by Helen Brew who had directly experienced the impact of a birth where as the mother, she had no control over the way it was carried out.

As her baby’s head crowned, the nurse insisted on anaesthetic.

“She held the mask firmly over my face… The anaesthetic must have been heavy for the baby was not born for some time.” Two hours later she woke to find the doctor congratulating her and saying she was lucky to have had a live baby.

While the nursing staff waited for 68 | KiwiParent

the doctor to arrive and complete the delivery, a pad had been placed over her bulging vulva and her legs bound together to hold it in place. Her baby failed to breathe at birth and had to be resuscitated.

to explain to women how their

This experience galvanised Helen Brew and her campaign for change.

The case she would present was simply that women be allowed to choose the way in which they brought their babies into the world, to choose to be conscious at the moment of birth if they wished, to take their babies into their arms, unwashed, to have them by their bedside and feed them on demand.

And, if they wanted to, husbands should be allowed to give comfort and support to their wives in labour.

or female reproductive system,

bodies worked or the nature of labour and childbirth. New Zealand at that time banned the publication or importation of books containing any diagram of the male unless for medical purposes.

Parents Centre antenatal classes provided that critical information and the relaxation breathing exercises which enabled women to demand anaesthetic-free births.

From small beginnings in the home of Helen Brew in 1952, a movement grew that completely changed the experience of childbirth, hospital care for new mothers and the involvement of fathers in the

Part of their campaign included the determination that there should be antenatal classes where women could learn about their bodies and prepare for childbirth. Antenatal classes started in Wellington in 1952, and very quickly local Parents Centres started up throughout New Zealand. In the 1950s there were still very few books available

birth of their children. Parents Centre continues to provide evidence-based information in antenatal classes throughout New Zealand to enable women and their partners to make the right decision around childbirth and parenting that is appropriate for them and their whānau.

Parents Centre Aotearoa

Parents Centre Aotearoa

Parents Centre Aotearoa at the Baby Expos October and November 2020 saw three fantastic Baby Expos run in Auckland, Wellington and Waikato.

With a huge range of products, services, seminars, demos, workshops, exclusive offers, activities and competitions, they were events not to be missed!

Parents Centre Aotearoa and our dedicated and enthusiastic team of volunteers were there chatting to parents, caregivers and soon-to-be parents about all things parenting and little ones.

Hine Price, one of our Childbirth Educators from Auckland, says the expo there provided lots of positive feedback.

“I had lots of expectant parents stop by the Parents Centre Aotearoa stand to enquire about parent education, wanting face-to-face facilitation and to form support networks.

69 | KiwiParent

“As a Childbirth Educator I was fortunate to have parents from past and current classes in attendance – so there was lots of sharing of experiences. I loved the positive, family-oriented vibe we had around our stand!” she says.

Melanie Benge, also a Childbirth Educator, from the Waikato region, says the Waikato Baby Expo was full of baby cuddles and chatting to parents about our place within the community.

“As a Childbirth Educator, I enjoyed talking to prospective parents about the services on offer with Parents Centre Aotearoa and the local Waikato Centres. I loved seeing parents from some of my previous

The Wellington Expo was described by our volunteers as a very successful weekend.

“Our stand was a team effort between Parents Centre Aotearoa, Wellington North Parents Centre and Lower Hutt Parents Centre,” says Meg Waghorn, from the Lower Hutt Parents Centre.

“We really enjoyed chatting to new and prospective parents (and many excited grandparents to be!) and letting them know about the childbirth and parenting education classes we offer,” she says.

The Baby Expos will be held again in Auckland, Wellington, Christchurch and Waikato in May and June this year, so keep an eye out for tickets from your local Parents Centre!

classes and had the opportunity for some baby snuggles!”

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Parents Centre Aotearoa

PARENTS CENTRE AOTEAROA

Meet the new Board members We have recently welcomed two new Board members to Parents Centre Aotearoa. We chat with Kirsty Stone and Chris Ferrand about their involvement with Parents Centre Aotearoa so far and their plans and hopes for their new roles.

Congratulations to you both and welcome! Can you please tell us a little bit about yourselves?

What has your involvement with Parents Centre Aotearoa been up until this point?

Kirsty: Our family lives on the North Shore of Auckland and we’re a mix of Scottish, English, South African and Kiwi heritage – so sporting allegiances are always interesting! We have a six-yearold daughter and a three-year-old son, which are really fun ages.

Since having kids, I’ve found myself focusing on child-related voluntary roles and last year started Sign & Rhyme, teaching parents and babies all about Baby Sign. I absolutely love it and am looking forward to seeing where it goes in the future.

Kirsty: I first spotted a post on Facebook seeking a host for local antenatal classes. It wasn’t long before I was on the committee for Bays North Harbour Parents Centre and had the opportunity to do a few roles during that time including co-president for the last three years.

Chris: I was born in Scotland and have lived in New Zealand since I was four. I was raised in Auckland and now live in sunny Nelson.

I’m the proud father of Logan and husband to Chloe. I spent five years in retail banking and when my son was born I realised that my values and drivers had evolved and what was really important in life was family. So, I gave the corporate life away and have started a new chapter at the top of the South!

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Chris: A friend of mine came onto the committee of Nelson District Parents Centre around a year and a half ago, and put out a call for help – one of my key focuses as part of the move to Nelson was around engaging with and quickly integrating into the local community and I thought this would be a great way to use my skills and experience in pursuit of that goal.

What motivated you to join the board?

Kirsty: Joining the Board creates a great opportunity to continue supporting Parents Centre Aotearoa but from a different perspective. I’m looking forward to getting involved in more strategic

Parents Centre Aotearoa

Kirsty Stone

decision making and seeing what goes on behind the scenes.

Chris: As I have understood more and more about what Parents Centre Aotearoa offers and means to so many families, I really wanted to find ways to further support the organisation. When the opportunity to contribute at a national level came up, I couldn’t help but put up my hand.

What do you hope to achieve while on the Board?

Kirsty: As I’ve been involved at Centre level for the last four years, I hope to be a strong advocate for the many volunteers that help make Parents Centre Aotearoa the amazing organisation it is.

Also having young children and all my activities being focused on parents with young children, I would like to be a ‘new parent’ voice at the table too.

Chris: I’d like to see us work around how we engage with dads – particularly those, like me, where being a dad is our primary

Chris Ferrand

role. I know we’re out there and I think that Parents Centre Aotearoa has a great opportunity to facilitate bringing us together so we can support each other.

What are your hopes and aspirations for Parents Centre Aotearoa?

Kirsty: Finding out what works well both for parents and for volunteers and sharing that across the Centre network. Helping the Centres work smarter not harder and helping to make Parents Centre more accessible.

Chris: I would like to see Parents Centre as the first place that new parents think of when they look for education and understanding about what it means to be a parent and the importance of this in our community. I want Parents Centre Aotearoa to continue to foster and encourage new relationships between new parents and create bonds that help everyone to grow and develop together as a community.

Introducing our new Electric Breast Pump Quiet and discreet, use anywhere Lightweight, portable and efficient Gentle on hard-working breasts

helping you Parent On

tommeetippee.co.nz

Parents Centre Aotearoa

14 stores nationwide.

Parent Centre Members*

receive 10% off

New Zealand 100% New Zealand owned and operated.

any purchase over $100 with code PC10 until 14 February 2021!

72 | KiwiParent

Book your hire with us before 32 weeks and receive 20% off* www.babyonthemove.co.nz

*Parent Centre Members only.

AUCKLAND CENTRAL 09 361 5050 BOTANY 09 274 5313 CHRISTCHURCH CENTRAL 03 421 3243 CHRISTCHURCH NORTH 03 960 9752 DUNEDIN 03 476 2222 HAMILTON 07 854 5751 HAWKES BAY 06 211 3017 LOWER HUTT 04 260 1020 NELSON 03 547 2555 NORTH SHORE 09 948 3528 PUKEKOHE 09 963 1898 TARANAKI 06 757 217 TAURANGA 07 575 7806 WELLINGTON CENTRAL 04 479 6677

Partners Parents Centre Aotearoa member benefits available from our partners:

Huggies Attendees of CBE,

Johnson & Johnson Attendees of Parents

Philips Avent Attendees of Parents Centre

The Baby Factory Regular Parents Centre

Baby and You and toilet training programmes get a Huggies gift pack.

Phone: 0800 733 703 www.huggies.co.nz

Centre CBE and Baby and You get baby bath gift packs and information on science of the skin. www.jnj.com

CBE and Baby and You get breast pad samples and breastfeeding information.

Phone: 0800 104 401 www.philips.co.nz/AVENT

discount days offering 20% off all stock including sale items. www.babyfactory.co.nz

0800 222 966 / www.babyonthemove.co.nz

Resene Various discounts on decorating supplies and paints with Parents Centre membership card. www.resene.co.nz

The Sleep Store 25% off Beco & Boba carriers plus 20% off other selected items which are regularly updated. www.thesleepstore.co.nz content/parentscentre

Baby On The Move 20% off car seat hire, selected buggies and cots for all members.

Phone: 0800 222 966 www.babyonthemove.co.nz

SplashSave 20% discount on water safety package. www.splashsave.co.nz

Strategic partners

Partner with us!

If you want to partner with Parents Centre Aotearoa, or Talking Matters A campaign to get everyone talking with babies and young children under three years. www.talkingmatters.org.nz

Parenting Place parentingplace.nz

Birthing Centre A free service to women of all ages whose pregnancy is considered lowrisk primary care. www.birthingcentre.co.nz

would like to discuss how this may work for your business, contact Catherine at: c.short@parentscentre.org.nz

Becoming a parent

Congratulations to the lucky winners from issue 298.

GIVEAWAYS

Winners

Toddler bath pack

www.babyonthemove.co.nz

WINNER Christina Motley, Wellington

Issue:

298

Yogasleep Travel Mini Sound Machine www.thesleepstore.co.nz

WINNERS Vicki Avery, Auckland Bianca Shepherd, Blenheim

Single Electric Breast Pump

www.philips.co.nz

WINNER Natalie King, Auckland 74 | KiwiParent

Becoming a parent

Thanks to our sponsors, PAGE for this month’s giveaways see 4 or go to: parentscentre.org.nz/giveaways

Zuru Christmas pack

www.zuru.co.nz

WINNERS Genelli Ranudo, Auckland Jessica Rogers, Christchurch Kirsty Clement, Christchurch Marian Kelly, Auckland Kimberley Walker, Porirua Kelly Hodges, Wanganui

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Becoming a parent

76 | KiwiParent