KiwiParent Issue 301 - The Birth Issue by Parents Centres New Zealand Inc

Issue: Issue:

299 301 jun | jul 2021

KiwiParent

supporting parents through the early years

The birth issue

GEMMA MCCAW Thriving as a new mum BEING FLEXIBLE ABOUT YOUR BIRTH PLAN Preparing to not prepare? COVID-19 VACCINE How safe is it for pregnant and breastfeeding people? THE WOMAN SAVING LITTLE LIVES One wahakura at a time

The magazine of Parents Centre Aotearoa

ALSO IN THIS ISSUE

Matariki activities

plus recipes, books & more...

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Becoming a parent

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Issue: Issue:

299 301 jun | jul 2021

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supporting parents through the early years

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The birth issue

The magazine of Parents Centre Aotearoa

ALSO IN THIS ISSUE

Matariki activities

plus recipes, books & more...

Subscribe @ PARENTSCENTRE.ORG.NZ

Terms & conditions: Subscribers must be New Zealand residents. Offer ends midnight, 25 July, 2021. Only one entry to prize draw per subscriber. Gift not redeemable for cash. Random winner drawn and contacted by Parents Centre Aotearoa. KiwiParent is the magazine of Parents Centre Aotearoa. New Philips Avent breast pump details: New Natural Motion Technology, mimicking baby’s natural suckling motion, uniquely combines suction and nipple stimulation, for an extremely fast but incredibly gentle, natural milk release. The stylish, compact, lightweight motor fits in the palm of your hand and it’s super quiet for a discreet experience anywhere, anytime.

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Contents

contents FOCUS THIS ISSUE:

Birth

Supporting a breastfeeding parent

Support for success

Each issue of KiwiParent has a theme running through several of the

Postpartum massage

features. This issue is all about birth.

Aiding in your

We look not only at childbirth, but

postpartum recovery

also at the birth of new mothers and fathers – and new beginnings with Matariki celebrations kicking off.

Being flexible about your birth plan

Preparing to not prepare?

Saving little lives while they sleep The woman weaving wahakura to make a difference

2 | KiwiParent

These and many more up-to-date articles for parents are also available @ parentscentre.org.nz

Insights Matariki activities Fun ways to celebrate this

Also in this issue... 26

special time of the year

Being savvy about insurance cover

the options

Gemma McCaw gives

Recipes

Keep things simple with

postnatal OCD

our warming winter recipes

Book review

Born to be Me

Products 60

How safe is the COVID-19 vaccine for pregnant and breastfeeding women?

us her tips for surviving the early days

Research round-up

Coping with

Pregnancy, breastfeeding & the COVID-19 vaccine

Pat Sellars looks at

Thriving as a new mum

A penny for your (intrusive) thoughts?

Fair for Rare A follow-up on the Rare Disorders NZ petition to Parliament

Parents Centre Aotearoa

From our readers

Winners 72 KiwiParent | 3

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4 | KiwiParent

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KiwiParent The magazine of Parents Centre Aotearoa since 1954. Enquiries | Parents Centre Aotearoa 04 233 2022, info@parentscentre.org.nz Advertising Sales | Catherine Short 04 233 2022, advertise@parentscentre.org.nz

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Printer | Bluestar Subscriptions | info@parentscentre.org.nz www.parentscentre.org.nz Publisher | Parents Centre Aotearoa 04 233 2022, info@parentscentre.org.nz PO Box 54 128, Mana 5247, Wellington KiwiParent is the publication of Parents Centre Aotearoa and reflects the philosophy and values of the organisation. Information contained in the magazine is consistent with our antenatal programmes provided through our 54 locations. Articles published in KiwiParent may be reproduced provided they are used for noncommercial purposes and written permission has been provided by Parents Centre Aotearoa. ISSN 1173-7638

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KiwiParent | 5

Editorial

Ka puta Matariki ka rere Whānui. Ko te tohu tēnā o te tau e ! Matariki re-appears, Whānui starts its flight. Being the sign of the [new] year.

Kia ora

here’s nothing like the feeling of being at the start of a new chapter. An opportunity to refresh and recentre our vision. How wonderful that we are given these opportunities often – whether it’s the dawn of a new day, starting a new job, or coming back home from a break away. However, nothing signals new beginnings quite like the birth of a baby! Journeying through my pregnancy and the birth of my first child opened up a new part of me I never knew existed – throwing me out of my comfort zone and into a completely new chapter of my life. Of course, it’s true that when a baby is born, so too is a parent. You’ll notice that the theme of this issue is birth. I love reflecting on words and mulling over what they mean, and for me, birth evokes a sense of unlimited possibilities. Matariki, the Māori New Year, is celebrated over these winter months – and with a new year also come unlimited possibilities. We have some wonderful activities for you to do with your little ones to celebrate Matariki together as a whānau on page 26. Our early childhood centres and schools do a wonderful job of teaching our tamariki about Matariki – I know my family will be extending that learning back at home together.

Supermama Gemma McCaw chats with us on thriving in motherhood (see page 36). Of course, this looks different for everyone, but I’m so inspired by Gemma’s tips and how her busy family stays on top of their mental, emotional and physical health. I know you will be too. It can be hard when things don’t go to plan; we talk on page 16 with midwife Michelle Deerheart about what to do when your birth is one of those things. And we hear from one brave mama about her journey living with and managing postnatal OCD – and how it’s not always what people think. You’ll want to flick to page 43, where we dive into the hard data on the COVID vaccine and its safety for people who are pregnant or breastfeeding. Thank you to Dr Morgan Edwards and Dr Mary Nowlan for their insights and sharing their expert knowledge with us! As always, we love to hear from our readers. Please email kiwiparent@parentscentre.org.nz with your ideas, stories or feedback.

Mauri ora,

Amanda Vaisigano KiwiParent Writer

6 | KiwiParent

All about childbirth

Check out our website

parentscentre.org.nz for loads of other useful information for parents

Supporting a breastfeeding parent

Postpartum massage

Being flexible about your birth plan

Saving little lives while they sleep

KiwiParent | 7

Denise Ives is a La Leche League Leader based in Dunedin, where she has lived for over 10 years since leaving England, and is a qualified Breastfeeding Counsellor. In 2011, Denise founded The Breast Room® in Dunedin, a drop-in breastfeeding support clinic. Denise published Mamas In Lockdown in 2020, a collection of stories from parents who were pregnant or gave birth during the COVID-19 lockdown.

8 | KiwiParent

A person is more likely to choose to breastfeed if they’re sure their partner is positive about it.

Supporting a breastfeeding parent The first few weeks with a new baby brings a whole range of emotions and changes to parents’ lives.

he feeding parent usually sees their partner as their

main source of support with breastfeeding. It’s been shown that if partners are supportive of breastfeeding, mothers are much more likely to continue.

Why is breastfeeding important? Breastfeeding has many advantages. It is healthy for both mum and baby as well as being natural, free and convenient. Overall, breastfed fed babies have: » less risk of sickness and diarrhoea » fewer ear infections » fewer chest infections » less risk of allergies such as asthma and eczema » less chance of being overweight as children and adults

There are health differences for the feeding parent too. People who breastfeed have a lower chance of breast cancer, some forms of ovarian cancer, and diabetes in later life. Breastfeeding is also convenient – you don’t have to carry around, sterilise or make up bottles. Research has shown that the greatest benefit occurs if baby has only breastmilk for the first six months and then carries on breastfeeding while starting on solid foods, particularly if there are allergies in the family.

How long should someone breastfeed their baby for?

» Breastmilk is a complete food for the baby for at least six months. » Babies who are breastfed for a year don’t need to have formula at all. » Breastfed toddlers continue to benefit from breastfeeding.

Can the partner really make a difference? A person is more likely to choose to breastfeed if they’re confident their partner is positive about it. In addition, a person who decides to breastfeed is much more likely to have a good experience if their partner supports their decision.

Some common concerns of partners

Breastfeeding should continue for as long as the feeding parent and their baby want to.

“I’m worried I’ll feel left out”

» Breastfeeding for three months makes infections less likely for at least a year.

With breastfeeding, parents have different roles to play and it can take a while to get used to this. KiwiParent | 9

Childbirth

Partners may feel jealous or left out, especially as the feeding parent and baby can have a very close relationship. But breastfeeding is only one aspect of caring for your baby. You can still be involved with your baby in lots of different and rewarding ways, for example by: » playing » soothing » bathing » winding » talking/singing » taking your baby for a walk » laying your baby on your chest, skin-to-skin » carrying your baby in a sling » changing nappies Even though your baby probably won’t smile for the first 4–6 weeks, from birth they’ll be interested in looking at things, especially people’s faces, and hearing gentle sounds.

“I feel uncomfortable about my partner breastfeeding in public” Often partners who feel like this before their baby is born change their mind later when they are used to seeing breastfeeding. Many places provide facilities for people to feed in private if they

10 | KiwiParent

prefer; however, experiencing unfair treatment because of public breastfeeding is considered illegal and regarded as a form of sex discrimination under the Human Rights Act. The Act lists all the public areas where a person has the right to breastfeed, so it’s important to keep this in mind if you or your partner ever experience discrimination for feeding your baby. If you know any other people with a breastfed baby, it may help to talk to and go out with them for your first few public breastfeeding attempts.

“Do partners even need to know much about breastfeeding?” You may find it helpful to know how breastfeeding works and what is considered normal behaviour for breastfed babies. Here are some useful facts: » Babies are happier if they’re fed as soon as they show signs of being hungry. Breastfed babies usually feed frequently (at least 2–3 hourly) in the early weeks, and more often during the evenings, but every baby is individual. » Some babies are slow feeders at first, but they get quicker as they get older.

» The more the baby feeds, the more milk the mother makes. » Babies are usually less windy, and put on weight better, if they finish feeding from the first breast before being offered the second. This allows them to get plenty of the fat-rich milk that comes later in a feed. » A mother will enjoy feeding more if she is comfortable and relaxed. » To feed well, the baby needs to open their mouth wide and have the nipple in the top part of their mouth, with their chin against the mother’s breast, as baby’s tongue helps to trigger the milk letdown. » Nipple soreness or pain during feeding is generally a sign that the baby is not getting a large enough mouthful of breast.

The realities of breastfeeding in the first few weeks Many parents see breastfeeding as a natural process – but not all new parents feel this way and they may experience some problems at first. It may take time for the feeding parent and baby to master this new skill together, but it does become easier.

Becoming a parent

Even though your baby probably won’t smile for the first 4–6 weeks, from birth they’ll be interested in looking at things, especially people’s faces, and hearing gentle sounds.

The experience of supporting a partner who is breastfeeding can be different for each couple. Many feeding parents find breastfeeding a very satisfying experience, while for others it may be more difficult at the start and take a while to settle down.

Sometimes, a breastfeeding parent can go through a rough patch, but the right support can help overcome this. Tiredness is normal with a new baby and it can be especially stressful if the reality is tougher than either of you expected. Sore

or cracked nipples are painful and someone with this problem may feel very upset and end up dreading feeding. Breastfeeding should not be painful. Getting help to solve these problems can help the baby learn to latch comfortably, and nipples should then soon heal.

FOR MORE INFORMATION Your local La Leche League group has Leaders on hand to help parents with all kinds of breastfeeding questions, both before and after your baby is born. You can find your local Leaders here: lalecheleague.org.nz/get-help/ This article from La Leche League USA will give you more insights into the importance of support to new parents: bit.ly/3xgUON2

KiwiParent | 11

Childbirth

Many parents see breastfeeding as a natural process – but not all new parents feel this way and they may experience some problems at first.

How can partners help with breastfeeding? Boost your partner’s confidence by encouraging them; like any new skill, reassurance and praise help – if they believe they can breastfeed, they probably will. » Listen and talk honestly about how each of you feels about finding your way with your new baby. » Be involved with the baby in other ways so that the caring is shared.

12 12 || KiwiParent KiwiParent

» Help to reduce the household chores your partner has to do so that they can feed the baby for as long and as often as baby needs. » Encourage your partner to eat and drink regularly, so they feel more able to cope. » If you are back at work, try to make some snacks before you go so your partner has quick, easy and healthy food at hand. » Get specialist help if there is a difficulty with breastfeeding.

» If your partner is feeling like stopping early on while still learning this skill, encourage them to keep going by being positive about the progress so far. Restarting breastfeeding after stopping is possible, but not always easy. » Accept your partner’s decision on when to stop breastfeeding.

Postpartum massage is specifically designed to help in recovery from childbirth, reduce the aches and pains of childcare and feeding, improve sleep and reduce fatigue.

Postpartum massage Looking after yourself post birth

ext to finally holding her baby girl in her arms, one of the

things Clare was most looking

forward to about birthing her baby was for the pains of pregnancy to disappear. Clare was anticipating feeling more like herself again – being able to see her toes, sleep on her back and walk without that niggling back pain. What she didn’t 14 | KiwiParent

realise, however, was that new aches and pains would show up in the postpartum period. “I definitely did not go back to feeling like myself,” says Clare. “In fact, it was as though I had a completely different body. It didn’t feel or operate the way it used to, and was unhelpful while I was trying to care for my new baby.”

Postpartum Massage Therapist Becky Littlewood says that during pregnancy our bodies, and particularly the pelvic region, undergo rapid change. These changes cause the brain to perceive the body differently and lead to pregnancy adaptations whereby new movement strategies are created, impacting movement and alignment.

Becky Littlewood is a degree-qualified massage therapist who owns Rejuvenate Therapy: Massage & Bodywork, a Wellington-based massage therapy business specialising in pregnancy and postpartum massage.

www.rejuvenatetherapy.co.nz

“People who have given birth benefit from a full assessment of movement and muscular changes after pregnancy, to ascertain which muscles need to be lengthened and which need to be strengthened postpartum. Addressing these changes helps to bring the postpartum body back into more functional movement and assists recovery from pregnancy and childbirth,” says Becky. Postpartum massage is specifically designed to help in recovery from childbirth, reduce the aches and pains of childcare and feeding, improve sleep and reduce fatigue. “It can also help to relax the nervous system, activate the mind-body connection, gently improve abdominal and pelvic floor muscle tone and improve body and pelvic floor awareness,” says Becky. Clare’s body ache woes were met with a recommendation from her midwife to try postpartum massage. “It was the best thing I did for myself in those early months,” says Clare. “Not only was I taking an hour out for myself, but after only a few sessions my back pain had diminished, I could sleep on my side again and it gave me a lift.”

Becky says that postpartum massage in the early months is tailored towards rest and recovery. “Using relaxation techniques, modified to respect a person’s stage in the postpartum journey, postpartum massage will nurture and support,” she says. “Feeling nurtured is vital to ensure that we are not pouring from an empty cup. This is paramount, whether this is your first baby or you are also caring for older children while recovering from pregnancy and childbirth.” Becky explains that postpartum massage can also be beneficial for people who have pelvic floor dysfunction or a prolapse, as not only can it be identified (via questionnaires), it can also provide a safe space for people to talk about it. “Pelvic floor tension is very common and can impact us postpartum, causing leaking, pain (pelvic, hip and low back) and pelvic floor dysfunction. “A prolapse can be a deeply upsetting situation for those affected by it and one of the primary benefits of postpartum massage is to provide a safe space where this can be expressed. When we view prolapse through

a biopsychosocial lens, we can see that postpartum massage supports those affected by prolapse by providing social support.” Becky explains that the biopsychosocial model covers three areas: biological – where the impact of prolapse refers to damage to the tissues involved; psychological – where a person’s psychological state around prolapse might impact their thoughts, behaviours, emotions and beliefs; and the social aspect – which looks at social support from family, society and peers. For Clare, her postpartum massages became a time of healing, physically as well as emotionally. “I’d chat through the pain I was getting as a result of breastfeeding, and this would be addressed in the session so that I’d walk out feeling physically better. However, I was surprised to find that I felt better emotionally too. Having someone to talk things through with and have things explained to me really helped with my mental wellbeing.” If you have any concerns or pain in your postpartum period, please talk first to your midwife or GP.

KP Thanks to taniahanphoto.pixieset.com for the photograph of Becky Littlewood. KiwiParent | 15

Becoming a parent

“When it became clear that we were moving away from my original plan, I relied on my intuition to guide me in a different, but right, direction.”

Being flexible about your birth plan Jacqui and her partner Simon* were overjoyed when Jacqui finally saw two pink lines appear on her pregnancy test. The couple had been trying for over a year to conceive and this was the wonderful news they’d been waiting for. 16 16 || KiwiParent KiwiParent

Michelle Deerheart, Co-founder of Empowered Parenthood and Consultant Midwife.

www.empoweredparenthood.com

Like many mothers to be, Jacqui’s excitement quickly turned into action – figuring out what was needed before the baby arrived and planning for the birth. Since much of what she had seen of birth was in Hollywood movies, Jacqui found she needed to counteract the one-dimensional and shallow impression she had gained, so she launched into research mode. And to equip herself as well as possible, she signed up to her local Parents Centre Aotearoa antenatal classes in Otorohanga and chatted with her midwife about her birth plan. “I felt ready,” she says. “I knew what I wanted, I knew what I didn’t want – and Simon was on board with the plan. Leading up to my due date I visualised how it would go and felt excited to bring a life into the world.” When the day came, Jacqui says that, although the labour and birth didn’t go exactly as she envisioned, the tools she had up her sleeve enabled her to birth her baby girl, Adelaide, feeling empowered and in control.

based midwife and founder of Empowered Parenthood Michelle Deerheart says the two are not mutually exclusive. “The thing about any birth plan is that it’s a ‘proposed’ or ‘intended’ course of action,” she says. “As we know, birth can be unpredictable. If something happens and you need to make a decision to change your plan and you are not sure what to do, the BRAIN model can be a helpful tool to introduce.” Michelle describes the BRAIN plan as: running over the benefits, risks and alternatives, using your intuition, and simply doing nothing: Benefits – What are the benefits of it? Risks – What are the risks? Alternatives – What are the alternatives? Intuition – What is your intuition telling you? Nothing – What happens if we do nothing? Or can we wait an hour and buy some time?

Jacqui says a big part of her labour Having a birth that doesn’t go to was leading with intuition. plan but still leaves you feeling “When it became clear that we were empowered may sound a little contradictory; however, Wellington- moving away from my original plan,

I relied on my intuition to guide me in a different, but right, direction.” Michelle says that your intuition is the little voice or feeling inside you telling you to do (or not do) something. “I believe this gets stronger during pregnancy and becoming a parent. But remember, very simply, you need to listen to hear it,” she says. Entering the dance of labour with a sense of pragmatism is something Michelle says can aid in an empowered birth despite a change of plan. “The rhythm of our dance is filled with delicate nuances between birth giver and baby. There are many things that can influence the dance and rhythm: the headspace and energy of the birth giver, the baby (position, physiology), the environment, the birth support team and the care providers, to name a few.” Michelle says that the one thing that is most important after birth, no matter what happens, is that the birth giver is gentle with themselves. “It is frequently said, ‘At least the baby is healthy’ and many birth givers are left traumatised, with their birth plans in tatters.” KiwiParent | 17

Childbirth

To reduce the likelihood of this happening, change is needed in many areas. But Michelle says there are ways that birth givers can take back some of the power with the process: » Research, research, research – knowledge is power. Join your local Parents Centre, connect with other mothers, read, and speak with your midwife.

» Prepare mentally to ‘go with the flow’ but also ‘hold the vision and trust the process’. If you are a person who likes to be in control, practise letting go! If you need help with this, look at doing some bodywork, mindfulness, acupuncture or meditation. » Make sure your partner or birth support person is a wholeheartedly committed

cheerleader for you and that they trust in the innate ability of your body to birth your baby (and make sure you do too!). » If things don’t go to plan and you have suffered some trauma, please get some healing around this, however that looks for you. *Names changed to protect the family’s privacy

FOR MORE INFORMATION If you have experienced a traumatic birth or would like to talk to someone, please speak with your midwife or contact Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Aotearoa (PADA) pada.nz/contact-us

18 | KiwiParent

Helping prepare parents – what Parents Centre does All Parents Centre Aotearoa programmes are facilitated by skilled professionals who give information in an objective, non-judgemental style. We know that there is no ‘one size fits all’ and our role is to empower parents to understand their options and be confident to make choices that are right for their own unique situation. Birth doesn’t always go to plan; however, we know that when parents are fully involved in the decision making every step of the way, any change in plans is more easily accepted and managed. Our programmes prepare parents for many different eventualities and we encourage them to understand their rights and entitlements as a maternity consumer, to ask questions, to challenge where necessary and, at the end of the day, to feel like they themselves have ‘birthed’ their baby, and not had the baby ‘delivered’. When parents are part of the decision making throughout their birthing and parenting journey, we see better outcomes: less PTSD, more connection with their baby, and more contentment and satisfaction with their overall experience, even if it ended up being quite different from the ‘plan’!

KP 19 | KiwiParent

Childbirth

Saving little lives while they sleep Riwa Wawatai has a dream that every pēpe* born in Aotearoa has a wahakura to sleep safely in.

he artist’s forte is Toi Māori Raranga, the Māori art of

Rīwā to Hawke’s Bay District Health Board from 2017.

weaving. She teaches others how

“I love knowing that every wahakura I make is giving a pēpe a safe sleep woven from harakeke (flax) – which space – without compromising she says are a positive message whānau traditions,” she says. to make the wahakura – bassinets

encouraging babies to sleep safely. Riwa started teaching Raranga for Pēpe courses and Wahakura Rīwā (her version of wahakura) Weekend Wānanga after she graduated from Maunga Kura Toi Raranga at Te Wānanga o Aotearoa. From these wānanga, she started to build her team of kairaranga (weavers) supplying Wahakura 20 | KiwiParent

“Co-sleeping with your pēpe is a big thing in the Māori community. Having a bed made with harakeke gives cultural significance and better acceptance of this style of sleeping safely with pēpe.” Wahakura were introduced about 15 years ago as a way of reducing the rate of Sudden Unexpected Death in Infancy (SUDI) in Māori

babies, which was five times higher than for non-Māori babies. SUDI deaths generally occur during sleep, with no cause found, and more than 50% are in a bedsharing context. A wahakura allows a baby to sleep in the same bed as a mother, but in a basket that will protect them from the risk of overheating and suffocation. “I want to do my bit to stop babies in New Zealand dying from SUDI – this is my way of helping prevent that. The wahakura are beautiful things; and they smell divine, and that smell lasts a long, long time,” says Riwa. * Riwa Wawatai dialect preference

“I love knowing that every wahakura I make is giving a pēpe a safe sleep space – without compromising whānau traditions.”

KiwiParent | 21

Becoming a parent

Photo: Flax Weaving, Truman Track, Punakaiki Pancake Rocks, Paparoa National Park, South Island, New Zealand, 2003 by Terry Feuerbor – tinyurl.com/ruecn6th

A wahakura takes around four hours to create, from gathering and prepping to producing, and we use 42 whā (leaves) to make a Wahakura Rīwā. “Traditionally, Māori didn’t use a wahakura. From what I was told, it was more like a hammock slung over the rafters and hung next to where the parents slept. It may also have been used to carry pēpe during the day. The original style of what we now call wahakura came from the bassinets used by

colonists, when weavers replicated them using harakeke.” Riwa says that when she talks to whānau who use wahakura the feedback is always positive. “Whānau love it – the wahakura gives them peace of mind and a more restful sleep. It also makes it easier to feed at night as baby is right there next to mum.” Sarah is a new mum to seven-weekold Awhina, and she agrees that using a wahakura is her favourite ‘parenting hack’.

“She’s still waking a lot in the night, but I love that I don’t need to get out of bed to feed her. I’m sleeping better than I thought I would as I know she is safe. But probably best of all, when I go and stay with family, her wahakura is easy to transport – so she’s always in her own bed,” she says. If you are in need of a bed for your baby, please talk to your midwife or nurse, who can help organise this for you.

FOR MORE INFORMATION To find out more about using a wahakura please visit hapai.co.nz/content/national-sudi-prevention-coordination-service Riwa is part of the LOVE/SCIENCE exhibition at MOTAT Auckland from 9 July, which includes her Wahakura Rīwā.

22 | KiwiParent

Becoming a parent

The Ministry of Health’s guide to making every sleep a safe sleep

Help to keep your baby safe in bed by:

Making sure that your baby is in their own bed for every sleep (and in the same room as you or the person looking after them at night).

Making sure that your baby is on their back for every sleep.

Having a smoke-free home and car.

Exclusively breastfeeding your baby to around six months of age and continuing to breastfeed them until 12 months of age.

Immunising your baby on time.

Making sure they always sleep on their back to keep their airways clear.

Having them sleep in their own bassinet, cot or other baby bed (eg Pēpi-Pod® or wahakura) – free from adults or children who might accidentally suffocate them.

Putting them back in their own bed after feeding – don’t fall asleep with them (to protect your back, feed your baby in a chair rather than in your bed).

Having someone looking after them who is alert to their needs and free from alcohol or drugs.

Having clothing and bedding that keeps them at a comfortable temperature – one more layer of clothing than you would wear is enough; too many layers can make your baby hot and upset them.

Making sure the temperature in the room where they are sleeping is kept at 20°C.

Keep your baby safe while sleeping by:

Sudden unexpected death is a risk to babies until they are about 12 months old, but most deaths can be prevented. There are things we can do to protect our babies. Although for some babies the cause of death is never found, most deaths happen when the babies are sleeping in an unsafe way. Always follow these safe-sleep routines for your baby and your baby’s bed.

KiwiParent | 23

Becoming a parent

5-Star rated must-haves & sleep essentials

The Ministry of Health’s guide to making every sleep a safe sleep cont.

You can check that your baby is warm but not too hot by feeling the back of their neck or their tummy (under the clothes). Baby should feel warm, but not hot or cold. Your baby will be comfortable when their hands and feet are a bit colder than their body.

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It is never safe to put your baby to sleep in an adult bed, on a couch or on a chair. If you choose to have your baby sleep in bed with you, put them beside you in their own baby bed – for example a wahakura or Pēpi-Pod®. This may help to reduce the risk of your baby suffocating while they are asleep.

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Make your baby’s bed safe by ensuring:

It has a firm and flat mattress to keep your baby’s airways open.

There are no gaps between the bed frame and the mattress that could trap or wedge your baby.

The gaps between the bars of baby’s cot are between 50mm and 95mm – try to get one with the gaps closer to 50mm if you can.

There is nothing in the bed that might cover your baby’s face, lift their head or choke them – no pillows, toys, loose bedding, bumper pads or necklaces (including amber beads and ‘teething’ necklaces).

Baby has their feet close to the end of the bed so they can’t burrow under the blankets.

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6 Baby is in the same room as you or the person looking after them at night for their first six months of life.

Check out our website

parentscentre.org.nz for loads of other useful insights for parents

Insights Matariki activities

Being savvy about insurance cover

Thriving as a new mum

Perinatal OCD

Pregnancy, breastfeeding & the COVID-19 vaccine

Fair for Rare

Matariki KiwiParent | 25

Becoming a parent

Ururangi Tupuārangi

Waipuna-ā-rangi

Waitī

Matariki

Tupuānuku

Hiwa-i-te-rangi

Waitā

Pōhutukawa

The 9 stars of

Matariki

Matariki is the star that signifies reflection, hope, our connection to the environment, and the gathering of people. Matariki is also connected to the health and wellbeing of people.

26 26 || KiwiParent KiwiParent

Pōhutukawa is the star associated with those that have passed on.

Hiwa-i-te-rangi is the star associated with granting our wishes, and realising our aspirations for the coming year.

Waipuna-ā-rangi is associated with the rain.

The Māori New Year, Matariki, is marked by the rise of the Pleiades star cluster Matariki, and the sighting of the next new moon. Matariki begins to rise, appearing in the eastern sky, in the last few days of May and into June, and the timing is different every year. Matariki has two meanings, both of which refer to the cluster of stars. Mata Riki means Tiny Eyes, and Mata Ariki means Eyes of God. Although thousands of stars make up the Pleiades cluster, and there are technically nine stars that make up the constellation, there are just seven stars that you can make out with the naked eye.

Photo: Fraser Gunn at Silver River Astrophotography

Ururangi is the star associated with the winds.

Waitī is associated with all fresh water bodies and the food sources that are sustained by those waters.

Waitā is associated with the ocean, and food sources within it.

Tupuārangi Tupuānuku is associated with is the star everything that associated with grows up in the everything that trees: fruits, berries grows within the and birds. soil to be harvested or gathered for food.

Text credit: Te Papa KiwiParent | 27

Matariki

Matariki activities As we approach this time of the year again, there are lots of ways for you to celebrate Matariki with your friends and whānau – from amazing feasts to activities you can do with your tamariki. Here are some ideas on how you can bring in the Māori New Year! Get the kids involved with some crafts to celebrate the new year. Thanks to www.kiwifamilies.co.nz for these two projects that will involve the whole whānau.

YOU WILL NEED 3 pieces of driftwood (roughly the same size) 1 A4 sheet of felt Glitter Beads of your choice String Needles big enough for the string you have

Hang a star Gathering what you need for this star wall hanging is the perfect excuse for a winter excursion to the beach to collect supplies. How to make a star wall hanging – see www.kiwifamilies.co.nz/star-craft-project/ INSTRUCTIONS 1

Create a triangle with the pieces of driftwood and bind them together with string.

Decide on the size of the stars you would like to use and cut them out of the felt.

Glue and glitter the front and back of each star.

Once the glue is dry, attach any embellishments to the stars using a needle and thread.

Dip any feathers you have in glue halfway and add glitter to them, then add these to your stars.

Tie the stars to your driftwood.

Finally, tie a piece of string to the top of the star hanging and display it on the wall.

Glue

28 | KiwiParent

YOU WILL NEED

Make a kite

1 metre of nylon parka material – available from shops like Spotlight

Kites (manu aute) are often flown during Matariki as they are thought to flutter near the stars. Why not get the kids out and fly a kite together – or even have a go at making your own? It’s a perfect way to bring in Matariki together.

Little metal rings about 10mm – also available from Spotlight, in the jewellery department ($3 for a packet) 8mm dowel – this will be cut into 4 pieces of roughly 54cm, 54cm, 42cm, 25cm String or nylon

How to make a delta kite in 10 easy steps – see www.kiwifamilies.co.nz/lets-go-fly-kite INSTRUCTIONS 1

Mark out a 100cm baseline. Mark out the large triangle which will form the main part of the kite, making sure to leave a 2cm margin along the baseline and a 4cm margin along the other two sides.

Sewing machine

At the midpoint of the baseline, erect a 45cm line at right angles to the baseline. Join the end of this 45cm line to the ends of the baseline. 2

Cut out, making sure you don’t forget about the margins!

Mark out a smaller triangle of 35cm x 17cm x 25cm, leaving a 2cm margin. Cut this triangle out.

Fold and sew the 2cm margin along the baseline. Fold and sew the 4cm margins along the other sides, leaving enough room to slide the dowel into these two sides. Measure 54cm up from the ends of the baseline and sew across the seam to stop the dowel slipping to the end. Fold and sew along the 17cm and 25cm sides of the little triangle.

Fold the larger triangle in half along the baseline, and slip the smaller triangle in so that the longest part is right along the centre, with the 25cm side being closest to the baseline (see photos below). You now have a sandwich of three layers of material. Sew the three layers about 1cm from the centre line – this will secure the small triangle to the larger one and leave a tube to put in a piece of dowel.

Measure and cut the dowel to fit into each side pocket and the centre one, then sew the seams shut to stop the dowel from falling out. KiwiParent | 29

Matariki

Measure up from each corner of the baseline and make a small mark at 41cm just inside the seam. Sew two of the little rings onto these points. Sew the third on the tip of the small triangle.

The last piece of dowel is the removable crosspiece; the ends need to be notched to receive the rings (check the photos online). You don’t want this too rigid, though, just tight enough so it won’t fall out. This will give you the flex you need for the kite to adjust to the wind.

Lastly, tie your string, or nylon, onto the ring on the smaller triangle and wind the other end around a winder. You can now decorate the kite as you wish, with stickers, decals, or even some tiny LED lights if you want to give night flying a whirl!

If the kite is a bit unstable, try moving the third ring back along the seam of the triangle. Happy kite making, and hopefully happy kite flying too!

Photo: Stefan Marks tinyurl.com/e3ux2jsr

30 | KiwiParent

Sing and dance No Matariki celebration is complete without some singing and dancing. Have a go at singing this Matariki waiata from Te Papa with your tamariki and learn the names of seven of the Matariki stars.

Ngā Tamariki o Matariki Waitī, Waitā, Waipunarangi, Tupu-ā-nuku, Tupu-ā-rangi, Ururangi e Koinei ngā tamariki o Matariki (These are the children of Matariki) Ngā whetū e pīataata i te rangi e (The bright stars that shine in the sky) Ngā whetū e pīataata i te rangi e (The bright stars that shine in the sky)

Written by Erana Hemmingsen for Te Papa. Listen to the song here: www.tepapa.govt.nz/discover-collections/read-watch-play/maori/ matariki-maori-new-year/whare-tapere/waiata-song

KiwiParent | 31

Being savvy about insurance cover By Pat Sellars

People tell me you shouldn’t compare your baby’s development with that of your friends’ babies – well, you shouldn’t compare the insurance premiums you pay either.

If you’ve received good advice on your Life, Health, and Income Protection cover, it should be unique to you and your family and reflect your own situation.

of these options will be available with all insurers.

Being healthy – physically and financially

Let’s look at some options that might interest you

The insurance application process can be quite involved. If you have an extensive medical history, or a high BMI, or live a riskier life, you might be on the back foot with higher premiums. The quote you are shown when you get your recommendations is what you will pay, all going well. You are accepted at what is called ‘Standard Rates’, but based on many factors you may get ‘Loadings’, which are generally a percentage increase on the standard rates. So you can already see how comparing premiums is like comparing apples and oranges.

Please note, these are not recommendations. Please seek personalised advice, as not all

However, continued good health from that day forward can also be rewarded. Several insurers offer

With most things, you get what you pay for, and insurances are no different. To cut costs you will need to lose something. That doesn’t mean that price is irrelevant, but these products should be there to take away financial stress when you need them, not cause financial stress in your everyday. However, that something you lose to save on premiums might be something you are willing to risk, or it might be something you don’t need.

benefits and savings to those who can prove they are staying healthy. For example: » AIA’s Vitality Programme uses your smart watch and app to earn you points that save you money on your premiums, starting with 10% off and building up to 20% (Vitality does have a monthly fee, so make sure you are saving more than that). » Health insurer Accuro keeps it simple, offering savings if you stay within healthy BMI ranges. » Check if your provider or prospective provider offers anything along these lines. It’s also important to take care of your personal financial health. Low debt levels normally mean lower requirements for the likes of Life cover, but one of the most underrated savers is keeping a KiwiParent | 33

Becoming Insurancea parent

health emergency fund. If you have anywhere from three to six months of expenses put away for a ‘rainy day’, this gives you a bunch of options. You can take a higher excess on your health insurance – if you have a $500 excess but are able to manage with say a $4,000 excess, your savings will be huge. Being in a good financial position will also allow you to select a longer waiting period on your Income Protection (the waiting period is the amount of time between the claim event and your monthly benefit being paid). Standard waiting periods are around four weeks, but if you can extend this to 13 weeks your premiums could halve. You’re taking on that risk and the cost associated, so make sure you’re covering those shortto medium-term expenses. If you can pay your premiums annually, this can also help you save money, as you may receive a discount for paying upfront. If

you save enough throughout the next year to pay the following year’s premium upfront, you then continue on that same pattern of putting your savings on premium costs throughout the year towards next year’s annual bill.

Other ways to save on your insurances It always amazes me how many people don’t know if they already have some cover through work. If you do, it is unlikely to be all that you need, but it does mean you can save plenty on the cover that you and your family do need. Different product types like ‘accelerated’ products can be cheaper than the normal ‘standalone’ products. This means that you are essentially combining two products into one, but you can only claim on that product once. So, for example if you have $500,000 of Life cover, with $100,000 of Accelerated Trauma cover, and you suffer a serious

heart attack and make a Trauma claim which pays $100,000, your Life cover is now only $400,000. This has its risks, but if it makes the difference in getting the right amount of cover for a price that works, it may be a better option for you. Make sure you get professional advice if you’re looking at these types of products. This isn’t a comprehensive list of the levers that can be pulled that affect premiums, so if you are struggling to get the amount of cover you need for an affordable price, be sure to get personalised advice. Cheapest may not always be the best for you and your loved ones, so comparing cover based on premium price alone is going to be meaningless. Having cover and a protection plan in place shouldn’t be a cause of financial stress; rather, it should save you from stress when you really need it to.

Pat Sellars is a Registered Financial Adviser with a focus on Personal Risk. This means providing unique and tailored advice for clients’ Life, Health and Income insurances.

34 | KiwiParent

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Q A

Gemma McCaw on thriving as a new mum The shift into motherhood can mean an instant lifestyle change for many women. KiwiParent sits down with Gemma to find out about her experience in transitioning from sportswoman to mother, and her top tips to thrive in the early months in this new role.

36 | KiwiParent

KP: Gemma, you’ve had the opportunity to speak with lots of parents up and down the country in your capacity as a spokesperson and with Performance Wellbeing. From these conversations, what would you say are the most challenging things facing new mums today? Gemma: I think the first thing that strikes in the early days is the initial bonding period with the baby. I often reflect on the fact that my grandmother had two weeks in care after her births, and my own mum had a week in hospital after having me – however, today, largely due to lack of resource, women are forced to leave hospital before they and their babies are ready. This time is so crucial not only in a mother’s recovery, but to develop that bond with her baby. It really is key and so important. Mum needs to be cared for and every mother deserves and needs solid care at the beginning to set her and her baby up post birth.

We have all the information we could ever want at our fingertips, yet we’re lacking that practical advice that comes from a trusted family member or friend. It’s those strong and supportive relationships that buffer us from the hardships – it really does take a village. KP: What did you personally find to be the most challenging part of becoming a mother? Gemma: The unknown – I concentrated so much on the birth. The information I was consuming and paying the most attention to was all focused on the birth, so much so that when Charlotte finally made her entrance, it felt like the great unknown! The feeding, sleeping, routines – it was all a minefield. However, I was very fortunate to have an amazing midwife, and my mum came to stay for two weeks after Charlotte was born, which was invaluable.

Another big challenge that I’ve seen and heard about facing families today is the fact we’re all more isolated. We’re in our homes, going it alone. In the past we had a bit more support and wider communities were involved in helping raise children.

The sleep deprivation – there’s nothing quite like it. It was utterly relentless, but again I was very fortunate to have support around me in those early weeks while I adjusted. I was able to take a step back and understand that I’d feel a certain way due to the lack of sleep and I became okay with that.

I think because of technology advances we feel like we’re more connected. But in reality we’re not.

I think the biggest challenge for me, though, was the recovery from birth. Going from being fit and very active

to then experiencing postpartum had me going through many emotions. KP: I’m sure many women can relate to the challenges you faced. What are your tips for new mothers experiencing something similar? Gemma: The biggest one for me, especially this second time around, is to expect less! I got so wrapped up in things that really weren’t that important. As long as Charlotte was fed and content, we’re good! Take your time and be kinder to yourself – especially when it comes to the recovery of your body. I know this time I’ll be a little kinder to myself and understand the recovery process better, listening to my body more. Sleep really is the cornerstone to health, and it’s something new mothers lack. Sleep deprivation leads to low mood and can affect every part of your day. It’s helpful to be aware of that, and although not everyone can sleep during the day, I did make an effort to down tools and join Charlotte for a nap whenever I could. Not a luxury that mothers of more than one have, mind you, so I’m unsure how that will work this second time around! If I couldn’t sleep during the day, or was having trouble settling Charlotte, getting out in the fresh air was the next best thing. Not only would Charlotte usually nap, a walk out in the sunshine always felt amazing. KiwiParent | 37

If I couldn’t sleep during the day, or was having trouble settling Charlotte, getting out in the fresh air was the next best thing.

Another part of looking after myself was eating good food and drinking plenty of water. We crave sugar and quick energy, but it eventually leads to a crash and a continued cycle. I always felt way better after a good breakfast first thing: eggs, avocado and toast was my go-to. When it comes to food I try and think of it as not what you can’t have, but what you can have – it’s about getting as many nutrients in as possible. If you have good energy sources, it’s easier to produce milk and keep up with the demands of a baby. KP: You mentioned mums needing to be looked after. How do you practise self-care? 38 | KiwiParent

Gemma: I definitely ask for help – and I can say I’m much more confident in doing so now. I think it’s important to be able to lean on other people, as caring for young children can be physically and mentally draining at times. I feel like mums are so quick to try and do everything ourselves. More often than not, if you ask for help, people are going to want to do what they can to assist. Once Charlotte was a bit older, I made sure to spend some time each week doing something for myself. Whether it was going for a walk, drinking a coffee alone in the sun or catching up with a friend. It doesn’t need to be anything fancy, but that

time out each week helped me re-set and carry on. A physical and mental break is always priceless. KP: Do you and your husband check in with yourselves and each other? How do you do this? Gemma: Yes definitely. We try to take a step back and take a bird’s-eye view on things wherever possible. We check in with each other at the end of each week, usually on a Sunday night once Charlotte is in bed. We map out everyone’s schedules – and then look at how we can meet our own and Charlotte’s needs for the week ahead, while also turning up as the best version of ourselves.

Becoming a parent

I know that I won’t jump out of bed feeling like a 10/10 each and every morning, but if my ducks are in a row then I’ll be able to regulate my emotions better and show up as a better mum and wife. The other thing we do to check in is to communicate clearly how we’re feeling. If I can feel myself starting to get stressed or overwhelmed,

or if I am just having one of those days, I’ll say to Richie, “I’m not at my best today,” and then usually tell him how he can help me. Whether it’s taking Charlotte out for a bit or simply understanding that’s where I’m at.

you’re doing and that’s where resentment can sometimes build. So to avoid all of that, we try to be very clear with each other about what we’re doing, thinking and feeling.

I think when there’s no communication it’s easy to start looking inward at all the things

Gemma McCaw is many things: a national sportswoman and Olympian, Director of her consultancy business, Performance Wellbeing, a spokesperson, and wife to an equally busy man. Gemma, however, considers her most important role to be mum to two-year-old Charlotte – with another pēpi due to join them this year.

KiwiParent | 39

“It’s especially important for new parents to know intrusive thoughts are normal.”

Perinatal OCD A penny for your (intrusive) thoughts? Have you ever stood on a high balcony and suddenly felt an urge to jump or push someone over? While preparing lettuce for a salad, have you had an image pass through your mind of an animal peeing on the leaves?

ost people have unpleasant thoughts like these without

“Although it can feel uncomfortable, it’s important to discuss intrusive

feeling any real concern. But

thoughts, because they are key to

sometimes individuals become

understanding the experience of

seriously distressed.

perinatal OCD,” says Marion.

KiwiParent sits down with Marion and Sophie*, members of a New Zealand support group for obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). They explain what intrusive thoughts are and why it’s important for every new parent to learn and understand more about them. 40 | KiwiParent

“It’s especially important for new parents to know intrusive thoughts are normal. It’s common for a mother or father to notice them while expecting a baby or caring for an infant, and they often present as unwanted thoughts around the baby being harmed in some way.”

Marion explains that with perinatal OCD, however, the person gets stuck in a persistent cycle of intrusive thoughts (obsessions), emotional distress and seeking relief by doing physical or mental actions (compulsions). Sophie’s had OCD since she was little. She thought living with a brain that tried to constantly scare you was normal – and that everyone had thoughts that made you constantly question your decisions and your values.

“My obsessive thoughts have ranged from being afraid of accidentally hurting others, hating that the letter M came before N, and not being able to cook a meal without being worried I’d poison someone, to fearing I’d randomly cheat on my husband without meaning to, and worrying I’d run someone over on the footpath,” says Sophie.

fire escape plan for their house. But often her compulsions were less obvious, such as mentally reviewing scenarios, avoiding feared situations or constantly seeking reassurance.

endure mental distress – but there is peer and clinical support available so people don’t need to battle alone.

“Sophie and I are passionate about spreading the word about Eventually, a web search led to what OCD really is. With the Sophie’s self-diagnosis, and what right support you can recover she learned empowered her to from perinatal OCD. A clinical take control of her own health. She psychologist experienced in But nothing came close to the sought medication, and undertook OCD treatment can help you crippling anxiety that came from the ‘Exposure and Response Prevention’ understand why the unwanted fear of hurting her two children, or therapy, which encourages you to intrusive thoughts and emotions the thought that someone else could face your fears and let obsessive are happening and, importantly, try and hurt them and she wouldn’t thoughts occur without ‘putting how to manage them,” she says. react in time to protect them. them right’ or ‘neutralising’ them “Often parents feel embarrassed with compulsions. “I had thoughts while I was pregnant or ashamed about their thoughts – and then for at least the first 6–9 “I can now happily and confidently and compulsions and it can be months with my first child. I didn’t say almost four years later that OCD very hard for them to tell someone. have anything when my second only affects about 1% of my life. I You could begin a conversation by child was born two years later, but only wish I’d learned sooner that showing this article to someone then the thoughts came back with what I was experiencing was OCD, you know and trust.” a vengeance when they were four as it does upset me to think of those and six years old,” she explains. early years with my children and the *Name changed to protect privacy joy I missed because of it,” she says. Sophie’s behaviours included KP visible things like religiously Marion says that lack of awareness checking every door before bed, about intrusive thoughts and OCD or constantly going through the means that people often needlessly

FOR MORE INFORMATION If you would like to know more about OCD or the ‘Fixate’ support group, please visit www.ocd.org.nz For information about perinatal OCD, including a brochure for new parents and links to the studies cited in this article, visit pada.nz/obsessive-compulsive-disorder-what-is-it Anxiety Helpline 0800 269 4389 (0800 ANXIETY) KiwiParent | 41

Becoming Mental health a parent

About perinatal OCD What is obsessive compulsive disorder? In order to recognise perinatal OCD, it’s important to understand how OCD works. OCD is an anxiety disorder and is thought to affect 1–2% of the population (Torres et al, 2006). It is a condition surrounded by a great deal of misunderstanding and misconception, and the term is often incorrectly used to describe those with a love of order, perfection or cleanliness. Thankfully, because of advancements in awareness and understanding, this is changing. At its simplest, OCD is a condition characterised by obsessions and compulsions. Obsessions are often referred to as unwanted recurring intrusive thoughts, although they can also be experienced as images, urges, bodily sensations

and/or doubts. Obsessions cause a great deal of distress, because they often centre around harm coming to loved ones or those things the individual holds most dear. To reduce the anxiety brought on by the obsessions, those with OCD enact compulsions. Compulsions are certain behaviours that the sufferer feels compelled to carry out, which can be a physical action or a mental ritual. The relief of having carried out a compulsion is only felt momentarily, and very soon the individual will find themselves wanting to repeat the behaviour again and again until they get caught in an OCD cycle, a state where the compulsions drive the obsessions and vice versa.

What is perinatal OCD? Studies suggest that perinatal OCD affects 1% of women in pregnancy and 2.9% of women in the postnatal period (Fairbrother et al, 2016). Interestingly, and just as a comparison, this study also found that anxiety disorders were more common than depression in mothers during this time, something that is not reflected in the level of awareness and identification for both conditions (Matthey et al, 2003). Sadly, there is very little research available on fathers and OCD. There is a range of potential risk factors for perinatal OCD. New parents may find that their previously existing symptoms intensify in the perinatal period, with their obsessions shifting to focus on their children, or they may experience OCD for the first time after becoming a parent. It has been suggested that a heightened sense of responsibility and an increase in harm-centred thoughts during the perinatal period could lead to an onset of perinatal OCD (Fairbrother and Abramowitz, 2007). Just as in non-perinatal OCD, individuals feel driven to carry out compulsions as a way of preventing the 42 | KiwiParent

perceived harm from happening. Compulsions can range from staying up all night to check on a child’s breathing, to excessively cleaning to stop the spread of infection. Parents may spend hours scanning for information on the internet or undertaking mental rituals such as reviewing or replaying events in the past, praying, or mentally repeating sentences and words. A particularly frightening, yet common, side effect of perinatal OCD is one that involves parents worrying that they themselves pose a risk to their child. They may experience intrusive thoughts or urges about deliberately harming or abusing their child. This perceived level of threat may lead parents to carry out compulsions as a way of securing the child’s safety. They may leave the family home, or refuse to be left alone with their children. Women with OCD report a significant effect on their quality of life, parenting tasks, relationships with partners and perceived social support (Challacombe et al, 2016).

“There are no scientific concerns around receiving [the Pfizer] vaccine in pregnancy as it is not a live vaccine.”

Q A Pregnancy, breastfeeding & the COVID-19 vaccine It makes for scary reading… previously healthy pregnant women are four times more likely to need support with breathing in intensive care than women with COVID-19 who are not pregnant, and babies of mothers with COVID-19 are seven times more likely to be born prematurely. But how safe is it really to have the COVID-19 vaccine when you’re pregnant or breastfeeding? KiwiParent sits down with specialist anaesthetist Dr Morgan Edwards and medical writer Dr Mary Nowlan to find out what the evidence says.

KP: Are pregnant women more

at risk if they catch coronavirus? Dr Nowlan: As we’ve seen in countries with widespread COVID-19, the disease can be extremely serious during pregnancy. Changes to your body mean that your immune system does not respond so well to viruses. There are also changes in how your blood circulates, and the growing bump restricts your breathing. All of these make it more difficult for your body to fight infections and as a result your baby is more likely to be born prematurely.

KP: What evidence is there on the

safety of the vaccine for pregnant and lactating women?

Dr Edwards: Pregnant and breastfeeding women were excluded from the first clinical trials of the vaccines, but there was no good reason for this. Because we weren’t using live attenuated vaccines (a weakened form of the virus), there really wasn’t any significant safety concern, and their exclusion wasn’t warranted. Frustratingly, this led to insufficient clinical data to say early on that the vaccines were (or weren’t) safe. Since then, we’ve obtained more information. This has come both from higher-risk and frontline pregnant and lactating people KiwiParent | 43

COVID-19

choosing to be vaccinated and from some clinical trials. Pregnancy and breastfeeding are very different situations in terms of risk, so it’s important to look at them separately.

Breastfeeding Dr Edwards: There is no evidence of additional risks to breastfeeding women or their children from an approved COVID-19 vaccine. Excitingly, a recent study in the US found that the vaccines studied (including Pfizer-BioNTech) confer protective immunity to newborns through breastmilk and the placenta. According to their senior researcher, “We now have clear evidence the COVID vaccines can induce immunity that will protect infants”. Dr Nowlan: Yes, the vaccine stimulates your body to make special proteins called antibodies that help to stop the COVID-19 virus. These pass to your baby when you breastfeed and help to protect your baby as well as you.

Pregnancy Dr Edwards: In February 2021, Pfizer started enrolling pregnant people into a trial looking at the safety and efficacy of their vaccine. They are studying 4,000 pregnant people, with a completion date of late June. Because we know that pregnant people are more likely to become 44 | KiwiParent

severely ill with COVID-19 and may be at risk of adverse pregnancy outcomes, it’s important that we are well-informed and are potentially better able to protect them. Over 90,000 pregnant people have now had the vaccine in the US (with no adverse outcomes), and the UK has now released a statement saying that pregnant people should be offered the vaccine. Here in New Zealand, pregnant people are able to receive the vaccine too – several of my colleagues have had it already! Dr Nowlan: The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) in the US analysed the pregnancy outcomes from over 16,000 women who reported being pregnant when they received the vaccine, and found no safety concerns for the pregnant woman, her unborn baby or after the baby was born. Safety monitoring is ongoing worldwide. If you are trying to become pregnant, you do not need to avoid pregnancy after receiving the vaccine and you do not need to do a pregnancy test before receiving it. KP: We are in the early stages

of vaccinating. How can we be assured evidence is reliable? Dr Edwards: We aren’t in the early stages anymore on a global scale. There have been more than 800 million vaccines given worldwide.

The early stages occurred before we even began vaccinating here in New Zealand. We are in the unique (and wonderful) position that our current risk of contracting COVID-19 in the community is very low, and so we have had the luxury of time to ensure proper due diligence has been done. Dr Nowlan: The COVID-19 vaccine being used in New Zealand is called Comirnaty™. It is an mRNA vaccine produced by Pfizer and BioNTech. Although pregnant women were not initially included in clinical trials, studies are now underway to look at the safety, the immune response and how well this vaccine protects pregnant women against COVID-19. There are no scientific concerns around receiving this vaccine in pregnancy as it is not a live vaccine. KP: Dr Edwards, you’re are

a frontline worker and have received the vaccine. How was this process for you? Dr Edwards: I was so thoroughly impressed with the whole process. The first dose I barely noticed, with a slightly sore arm for about 24 hours. After the second dose I had some side effects, which I expected. I experienced some chills, nausea and tiredness from about 18 to 36 hours post dose. This was manageable with some paracetamol, and I reassured myself they were exciting signs my immune system was responding! Globally we are seeing

Becoming a parent

this sort of response more in younger people. I would recommend timing your second dose with a planned quieter day following it, if possible. I received my second dose over a month ago now, so my body has established its full response. The immense relief this offers me is indescribable. KP: What is your advice for

parents/parents to be who are hearing mixed messages about the vaccine? Dr Edwards: I absolutely understand this is an overwhelming and scary time. There is lots of fear and misinformation around about both this pandemic and the vaccine rollout. The perpetuation and sharing

of this misinformation usually come from a well-intended, but very misinformed, place.

KP: Who should parents talk to if

Good information is SO important.

Dr Edwards: Your GP is usually a reliable source of information. I’m also always available, via my Instagram profile @morgancedwards, to help answer questions or unpack misinformation that might seem a bit confusing.

» The Immunisation Advisory Centre is a wonderful source of information www.immune.org. nz/covid-19-vaccines » The Royal Australian and New Zealand College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists and the NZ and Australian Breastfeeding Associations have released a statement ranzcog.edu. au/RANZCOG_SITE/media/ RANZCOG-MEDIA/News/QA-COVID-19-vaccination-andbreastfeeding.pdf

they have questions or concerns about the COVID-19 vaccine?

Dr Nowlan: Yes, I would discuss your risk of exposure to COVID-19 with your midwife or doctor. The Immunisation Advisory Centre also has a factsheet available to discuss the benefits and risks of COVID-19 vaccination in pregnancy.

ABOUT DR MARY NOWLAN Dr Mary Nowlan PhD is a medical writer for the Immunisation Advisory Centre. Her role varies from writing public-facing communications to penning academic documents to guide immunisation policy. She also presents at vaccinator workshops and educational courses. Mary is motivated in her work by a personal interest in the science behind immunisation, and the knowledge that it plays a significant role in public health. covid.immune.org.nz ABOUT DR MORGAN EDWARDS Dr Morgan Edwards BSc(Hons), MBBS, FANZCA, PGDipSci is an anaesthesiologist at Waitematā District Health Board. She is mum to Henry (6) and Beanie (3). She regularly answers questions, shares data and debunks myths related to her field – including, most recently, COVID-19 vaccination for pregnant or breastfeeding women. KiwiParent | 45

Fair for Rare NZ campaign milestone In issue 300 of KiwiParent magazine we spoke with Sue Haldane, who shared her story of caring for her daughter Lizzie, who lives with a rare disorder.

On Wednesday, 24 March, Sue and other supporters from all over New Zealand met in Wellington to hand over Rare Disorders NZ’s collective petition to Parliament. The petition calls for urgent reform of the health system to include all people living with a rare disorder.

signatures and calls for a National Rare Disorder Framework.

Sue fronted the petition for reform, which gathered more than 8,200

“A huge thank you to everyone who joined us at Parliament to show our

46 | KiwiParent

Sue and Rare Disorders NZ’s CE, Lisa Foster, presented the petition to Dr Liz Craig MP, Chair of the Health Select Committee, on behalf of the 300,000 New Zealanders living with a rare disorder.

government that Kiwis living with a rare health condition deserve equitable treatment,” says Lisa. “New Zealand lags behind most OECD countries in supporting those with rare disorders. It’s time to take rare disorders seriously.” Before the presentation, members of the public were invited to take their chance and spin the Rare

Introducing our new Electric Breast Pump Quiet and discreet, use anywhere Lightweight, portable and efficient “A huge thank you to everyone who joined us at Parliament to show our government that Kiwis living with a rare health condition deserve equitable treatment.”

Roulette wheel to learn more about the systemic discrimination and barriers facing the one in 17 people living with a rare condition. Each of the 12 specific disorders featured on the wheel had a representative who spoke on the day about their disorder and the barriers within the health system in New Zealand, including diagnosis, access to treatment and medicines. “We met with Health Minister Andrew Little on 1 March to discuss the urgent issues and opportunities for equity. Now is the time for action to ensure our health system is ‘fair for rare’. With no current recognition or seat at the table with government, how can there

Gentle on hard-working breasts

be authentic inclusion of the rare disorders community?” says Lisa. After handing over the petition, Sue, Lisa and some support group leaders went to the public gallery to view the petition being presented to the House. The petition has been considered by the Petitions Committee and referred to the Health Select Committee, which has requested a written submission outlining the issues and recommendations. Learn more about the campaign www.raredisorders.org.nz

helping you Parent On

tommeetippee.co.nz

Becoming Research a parent

Research round-up Women and pain

From the time Hippocrates declared that ‘hysteria’ was a womanonly affliction and related to the uterus, women have often had to battle to get their pain acknowledged by medical practitioners and taken seriously. A new study from the US, Gender biases in estimation of others’ pain, reveals a tendency to underestimate pain in female patients related to gender stereotypes, that can lead to under-recognition and undertreatment of pain.

Read the abstract or download the full research article: www.jpain.org/article/ S1526-5900(21)00035-3/fulltext

Endometriosis awareness

New Zealand’s Health Navigator website says that one in ten New Zealand women will suffer from endometriosis, which at its worst can result in difficulty conceiving or even infertility. In 2020, a New Zealand health taskforce released a comprehensive guide to the issues of diagnosing and effectively managing endometriosis, aimed at GPs and hospital doctors. A major aim of the taskforce was to raise awareness of endometriosis to aid early detection. “Endometriosis starts young, but it generally isn’t being diagnosed in young women,” says Deborah Bush, CEO of Endometriosis New Zealand in an article in GP Pulse. “Delays in diagnosis can lead to more serious long-term effects that could have been avoided or reduced if picked up earlier.”

Read more about the new endometriosis pathway in GP Pulse – the online magazine of The Royal New Zealand College of General Practitioners: www.rnzcgp.org.nz

“Our wāhine deserve better”

Here at KiwiParent we’ve been following with interest the progress of the petition for improved care for New Zealand women post birth. The online petition started by personal trainer Kirsty Watt is demanding more information on pelvic floor dysfunction for pregnant women, more funding for DHBs and Continence NZ, and improved ACC cover for the one in four women who experience pelvic-related issues after giving birth. It closed in March, with more than 55,000 signatures. An official House of Representatives petition will now be submitted. Read our feature stories on childbirth in this issue that address the variety of physical and mental health concerns that can impact women after they have birthed their babies.

48 | KiwiParent

Read the guidelines on the Ministry of Health website: www.health.govt.nz Learn more about the symptoms and how to manage endometriosis on Health Navigator: www.healthnavigator.org.nz

Read about the petition at www.change.org (search for ‘NZ post birth’) Read backgrounders and women’s stories: Radio NZ’s website www.rnz.co.nz/news/ national/438737/better-postnatal-carepetition-closes-with-55-000-signatures NZ Herald website tinyurl.com/4y6zjhz9

Parents Centre Aotearoa

“It’s an exciting privilege to be a Childbirth Educator, sharing the journey and supporting new parents.”

BECOME A CHILDBIRTH EDUCATOR

Have you ever considered facilitating antenatal and parenting programmes? WE’RE LOOKING FOR PEOPLE WHO:

are passionate about providing quality information have a keen interest in supporting whānau and their pēpi enjoy working with adults have strong communication and organisational skills Email: admin@parentscentre.org.nz to find out more or register interest

50+

Locations across Aotearoa, & online

Parents Centre Aotearoa is the leading provider of antenatal and parenting programmes throughout Aotearoa. Currently we facilitate programmes in 54 locations and we are looking to reach even more communities! We support our facilitators with professional development, ongoing support and new opportunities.

www.parentscentre.org.nz

Recipes 50 | KiwiParent

This issue we have our friends at New World to thank for these delicious recipes. They’re tasty, fairly simple to make and easy to adapt for the younger members of your whānau, yet special enough to feel that you’re giving the family a treat – something we all need during the colder winter months. Enjoy!

SERVES: 4-6 Prep: 10 mins Cook: 6 1/4 hrs Skill level: Easy as

4 lamb shoulder chops 2 tablespoons Pams Pure Plain Flour 2 onions, finely sliced 1 tablespoon Pams Mild Curry Powder 1 tin Pams Coconut Milk 600g orange kūmara, peeled and cut into chunks 120g baby spinach leaves

Lamb, kūmara & spinach

coconut curry

This mild but flavourful slow cooker curry is perfect for the whole whānau and requires minimal effort. We love it with Kiwi favourite kūmara but any root vegetables such as potato, carrot or parsnip also make for excellent additions. Plus, it’s a great way to sneak in those veggies! METHOD Preheat the slow cooker to low. Remove any excess fat from the lamb shoulder chops. Dust the chops with the flour. Heat a splash of oil in a frying pan and brown the lamb pieces on each side. Set aside. In the same pan add the onion and fry until soft, add the curry powder, stir well, add the coconut milk, 1/2 cup water and the salt, then pour into the slow cooker. Add the kūmara, cover with the lamb pieces, and cook on low for 6 hours or until tender. Add the spinach and allow to wilt, then serve. TIP This is delicious served with rice or roti. Add some chopped chilli to the mix if you prefer things a little spicy!

Thanks to our friends at New World for these warming winter recipes

KiwiParent | 51

52 | KiwiParent

SERVES: 4-6 Prep: 10 mins Cook: 40 mins Skill level: Easy as

2 1/2 cups chicken stock 1 1/2 cups Pams Cream, plus a little extra 50g Pams Butter 2 large leeks, finely sliced 1 fennel bulb, finely chopped, reserve any fronds 1 1/2 cups risotto rice (arborio or carnaroli) 4 pieces fresh salmon fillet Grated zest and juice of 2 lemons 120g bag of baby spinach

Salmon

with leek & fennel baked risotto

What’s not to love about creamy, lemony risotto that’s baked rather than cooked on the stovetop? With less hassle and maximum flavour, this beautiful risotto is finished in the oven and served alongside perfectly baked salmon fillets – delicious! METHOD Preheat the oven to 180°C. Mix the chicken stock and 1 cup of the cream together and heat until hot, then keep warm. Heat a splash of oil and half the butter in an ovenproof pan and gently fry the leeks and fennel bulb with a teaspoon of salt until the vegetables start to soften, about 8-10 minutes. Add the rice and cook, stirring for 1 minute. Add the hot stock and cream mix, cover with a lid and put into the preheated oven for 20 minutes. Place the salmon on a tray lined with baking paper, season with salt and pepper and half the grated lemon zest and juice. Put into the oven with the risotto for a further 12-15 minutes, depending on how well cooked you like your salmon. Take the risotto out of the oven after it’s been in for 30 minutes and add the rest of the lemon zest and juice, the remaining cream and butter, and the spinach. Stir until the mixture becomes creamy, adding extra salt and pepper if required. Garnish the salmon with the reserved fennel fronds and serve. TIP Serve with a simple green salad on the side and extra wedges of lemon.

KiwiParent | 53

54 | KiwiParent

SERVES: 8 Prep: 20 mins Cook: 60-70 mins Skill level: Not too hard

70g packet Pams Hazelnuts 1/4 cup Pams Pure Plain Flour 150g dark chocolate 100ml Pams Extra Virgin Olive Oil 150g Pams Caster Sugar 4 Pams Free Range Mixed Grade Eggs, separated 2 small green apples Juice of 1 lemon

Sunken chocolate,

apple & hazelnut cake

A crisp and crumbly exterior and moist, fudgy inside make for a droolworthy chocolate cake that everyone will love! Adding hazelnuts and green apple makes this cake even more delicious, especially when served with a dollop of yoghurt, sour cream or crème fraîche. METHOD Preheat the oven to 160°C. Line the base of a 20cm springform tin with baking paper and grease the tin with oil spray. Put the hazelnuts on a tray and roast for 10-15 minutes until they start to turn golden. Remove from the oven and place in a clean tea towel. Leave to steam for 5 minutes, then rub the nuts while in the tea towel to remove the skin. Allow to cool. Pulse half the hazelnuts in a food processor to a fine crumb and mix with the flour. Melt the chocolate in a heatproof bowl set over a pan of simmering water (or you can melt it in short bursts in the microwave). Whisk in the olive oil, then add 100g of the caster sugar and stir well. Remove from the heat and cool for 5 minutes, then add the hazelnut/flour mix and egg yolks. Halve the apples, core and thinly slice and drizzle with the lemon juice. Set aside. Whisk the egg whites to soft peaks with an electric beater and gradually add the remaining sugar until the mixture becomes thick and glossy. Fold a little of the egg white into the chocolate to loosen, then gently fold the rest of the whites into the chocolate. Put the mix into the tin, arrange the apple slices on top and scatter with the remaining hazelnuts. Bake for 60-70 minutes or until a skewer comes out clean. Cool in the tin (it will start to sink and crack a little). TIPS Flour makes the cake a little denser, but this can be omitted if you prefer a completely gluten-free cake. For something a little less fussy, swap hazelnuts for ground almonds (omit the roasting stage) and scatter sliced almonds on the top.

KiwiParent | 55

56 | KiwiParent

Matariki recipe Matariki has such a strong connection with kai. The Matariki stars appeared in the night sky just after harvest when food stores were plentiful. Matariki is a time of renewal and celebration, a time to reflect, plan ahead and enjoy delicious meals with whānau and friends. Why not try out this Parāoa parai (fry bread) recipe.

SERVES: 4 Prep: 1 1/4 hrs Cook: 10 mins

Par-aoa parai

fry bread

3 cups high grade flour 2 teaspoons instant yeast 1/2 teaspoon sugar 1 teaspoon salt 2 cups warm water Vegetable or rice bran oil, for frying

No celebratory Matariki feast is complete without Māori fry bread! Crispy and golden brown on the outside and perfectly fluffy on the inside – these fry breads are pure heaven in dough form. Serve alongside your favourite meals or with some delicious dips. METHOD In a bowl, mix together the flour, yeast, sugar and salt. Slowly add the warm water while mixing until a soft dough forms. Turn the dough onto a floured surface and knead for 5 minutes or until the dough is smooth. Transfer to an oiled bowl, cover, and leave to proof in a warm place for 45-60 minutes or until doubled in size. Once the dough has doubled in size, place onto a floured surface and roll out to a 1-2cm thickness. Cut into your desired shapes or number of pieces, then deep fry for 2-3 minutes or until golden brown and fluffy in the centre. Once cooked, place onto a wire rack set on a lined tray to drain. Serve the fry bread alongside your favourite sides or with your desired toppings.

KiwiParent | 57

BOOK REVIEW

Born to be Me Your kindness is the ultimate superpower

Meet the Author Eve Charles Born to be Me is a gentle reminder that while misfortune changes everything, it can also help you grow into the best version of yourself, and even create beauty beyond what you could imagine. Clinical hypnotherapist and mum of two Eve Charles has combined her therapeutic and writing talents in a book which uses positive affirmations to unlock the power of positive thinking. Born to be Me has been cleverly crafted to build your child’s confidence and encourage them to be curious, creative and kind – embracing who they are in any situation. 58 | KiwiParent

The story, set amid gorgeous wife. I had lost total confidence in watercolour illustrations by French myself. My tank was empty and my artist Sarah Maurette, shows that heart sore. love is stronger than fear and that “It took time and some help, but kindness is the ultimate superpower. I recovered thanks to my loving The gentle and free-flowing story husband, my beautiful kids, and follows a young cuckoo bird’s hypnotherapy.” journey to self-discovery, travelling Eve was so blown away by the power through doubts and setbacks, and of hypnotherapy that she became providing the tools to overcome a clinical hypnotherapist to help life’s challenges. others on their life journey. “Born to be Me is especially relevant “A few years on, my love for writing in today’s world with COVID-19 caught up with me and I thought creating such uncertainty and why not combine storytelling sadness. It is an unsettling time for and hypnotherapy in the form of everyone and so important to make children’s books to help kids (and children feel safe and protected parents) build their self-love and among the chaos,” says Eve. confidence.” “Behind the book is a real desire to Eve’s hope is that Born to be Me will help parents and kids connect on a deeper level. With Born to be Me and help Kiwi kids develop the soft skills other books in the series, I want to they need now and in the future. help children build their confidence “All characters in the series personify and self-love one page at a time.” a key skill or human quality that Eve explains that seven years ago children can identify with,” she says. she suffered from postpartum depression. “It was hard. I felt useless and guilty. I believed I was a terrible mum and

Becoming a parent

Born to be Me can be purchased on the Bardelli Books’ website and in selected bookshops. www.bardellibooks.com

Be in to win a copy of Born to be Me usually retails for $19.90

We have two signed copies of this beautifully written and illustrated children’s book to give away ENTER ONLINE AT parentscentre.org.nz/ giveaways Entries must be received by 5 July, 2021. Winners will be published in issue 302.

WINNER FROM ISSUE 300 Winner of Tu Meke Tuatara! by Malcolm Clarke from issue 300 is Emily Haeusler of Auckland.

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Moses Basket & Folding Stand from The Sleep Store

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The Sleep Store Moses Basket is made from maize, so is lightweight and a beautiful, natural colour. It is has two sturdy handles for easy carrying and looks great in any room. It will be sure to create a safe sleeping space for your baby. The Sleep Store Folding Stand is a perfect option to securely hold your Moses Basket. It is made from New Zealand pine and is an ideal addition to your nursery.

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Baby On The Move specialises in hiring all types of child restraints. All our team are certified Child Restraint Technicians and will ensure that you understand how to use and install your child restraint correctly before you leave the store.

60 | KiwiParent

Becoming a parent

50+

Locations across Aotearoa, & online

KiwiParent is the magazine of Parents Centre Aotearoa. Supporting parents to grow great kids and build lifelong communities. Aotearoa’s largest provider of parenting support and education.

www.parentscentre.org.nz

KiwiParent | 61

Parents Centre Aotearoa

SPOTLIGHT ON Parents Centre Aotearoa’s famous

Coffee groups So, what are Parents Centre coffee groups all about and how do they happen? All our programmes, from antenatal to postnatal, are led by qualified facilitators, and they’re not the type of people who have you seated for two hours, watching PowerPoint presentations, videos or listening to lectures. Many of our programmes are run in the evening, and we understand you’re often tired after a full day at work, a battle with the traffic and a

quick dinner – so we make sure our programmes are fun, interactive and engaging. The last thing we want is for you to get bored or fall asleep and not come back next week! This facilitation style encourages you to get to know others in the class, have a laugh, build connections, and discover what you have in common, and that is the seed that grows into a coffee group. A coffee group is established at the end of each programme so that parents can continue to meet

regularly to share their joys and challenges, and build an amazing support and friendship group. Not all Parents Centre coffee groups stem from an antenatal or postnatal programme, and many of our Centres have clinics, groups or events where parents can connect. So please join us. The door is always open, and the coffee is always hot… even if baby means that you end up drinking it cold!

To find your local Parents Centre and classes online and running in your area go to parentscentre.org.nz

CHRISTCHURCH

12 & 13 June Air Force Museum of NZ

WAIKATO

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26 & 27 June Claudelands Events Centre

FREE TICKETS ONLINE!

Upcoming Latch & Chat dates in Tauranga: 11 June, 25 June, 9 July and 23 July www.breastfeedinghelp.org.nz

Latch & Chat takes off in Tauranga Tauranga Parents Centre and Māmā Maia Breastfeeding Service are working together to provide free breastfeeding advice and support to new mums. “Breastfeeding can be hard,” says Lesley, Antenatal Class Liaison.

during the national lockdown

“We have a massive shortage of lactation specialists in our rohe. During our Bump-to-Baby catchups (our antenatal coffee groups), we noticed a lot of mums were not getting to see a lactation specialist in time to help.”

the breastfeeding service to offer

Lesley, who is also the B2B coordinator for the Centre, started referring mums to the online service offered by Māmā Maia

and then decided to team up with free fortnightly breastfeeding drop-in chats. The official launch of Latch & Chat was on 19 March, 2021. “We had an amazing turn-out, with spot prizes from Huggies, Philips Avent, The Sleep Store and Baby City – which everyone was really excited about,” says Lesley.

“Since our initial launch, we’ve been averaging eight mums per clinic. Every mum gets time to chat with Aani, the Māmā Maia Lactation Specialist, and all of them have left with new techniques to try.” Lesley says they’ve had very positive feedback from all their participants. “It’s wonderful to know that we’re empowering a new mama and their baby in a comfortable and safe environment.”

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Parents Centre Aotearoa

“Some parents would just fill their children with sweets.” “The staff have a terrible time settling down the ward after visiting, even once a week.”

PARENTS CENTRE’S PAST

“You can’t expect us to upset Sister and the whole ward for one child.”

The treatment of children in hospital

“The children are ‘better’ without their parents.”

Material for this article has been taken from Parents Centre Bulletins and The Trouble with Women, by Mary Dobbie.

The lack of respect for parents by those in the medical profession in the 1950s and 60s is evident in the way they were treated both at the birth of their babies and in subsequent hospital admissions for sick children. Mothers who wanted to have more control in the delivery of their babies, have a conscious birth (not under general anaesthetic), practise demand feeding or have their baby in their room were treated with disregard, and in many places with downright hostility. In the same way, parents who wanted to stay with their children in hospital or even visit more frequently than the allowed one hour a week on a Sunday afternoon were accused of disruption, spoiling their children or creating additional work for nurses. This attitude is expressed well in the words of Dr T. Morton, medical superintendent of the North Canterbury Hospital Board, in 1952. 64 | KiwiParent

“It has long been suspected that the over-solicitude in parents and relatives towards sick-visiting stems from the guilty feeling that they have neglected or damaged their sick child in the past and atonement has to be made; florists, confectioners, fruiterers and toy dealers profit most from this sentiment.” “They [children] have to learn at an early age the philosophy of suffering, for unhappiness and suffering are the lot of man, and spoilt children are insufferable.”

Nurses were trained to regard parents as upsetting to their children, as bearers of forbidden sweets and unsuitable gifts, and as carriers of germs. In their view, children admitted to hospital belonged to the hospital – parents entered on sufferance and when the last straggler had been rounded up at the end of the weekly one hour of visiting, they set about with a sigh of relief to restore

order to the dishevelled beds and weeping children. In 1952, New Zealand children’s wards had a rigid pattern of once-aweek visiting, usually only one hour on a Sunday afternoon. The battle to change this started in Christchurch and spread slowly through other areas – as more a series of sieges, wearing down one hospital board after another. The Christchurch Parents Centre led the charge in trying to change the system, quickly followed by Wellington Parents Centre and the newly federated national organisation. The leaders in this battle were Nancy Sutherland and her husband, Professor Ivan Sutherland, of the psychology department of Canterbury University. They were joined by Helen Holmes. Like Nancy, Helen had experienced the dreadful pain of having to leave her ill daughter in hospital for an extended period. “Mary Anne was

Parents Centre Aotearoa

Photo credit: CCDHB

just four years old, and we could see her once a week on Sundays between 3pm and 4pm. There were 60 children in the ward. If we wanted to discuss anything at all with the sister, our share of her time was one minute of the visiting hour, for which we waited our turn in the queue of other anxious parents. Our precious time with Mary Anne was cut short by the length of time we waited in line to see Sister.”

With the support of friends and the Christchurch Parents Centre they set out to gain a strong body of public opinion. Public response was immediate, with arguments from both sides of the debate: “Are we concerned about treating children or with the neurotic emotionalism of the parents?” demanded a senior plastic surgeon. The public was incensed and newspaper editorials strongly critical.

Helen and her husband had firsthand experience of the medical profession’s view of parents when they met with the medical superintendent to get permission to visit their child more frequently.

The second Bulletin of the Parents’ Centre (November, 1954) took up the campaign with a submission prepared by Quentin and Helen Brew to the Consultative Committee on Hospital Reform. The key recommendations of their submission on The Hospitalisation of Children included:

“At our two meetings with him it was clear that we were regarded as a couple of ignorant, interfering, unreasonable, over-anxious parents and were probably emotionally unstable.”

» That hospital administrators should encourage a greater measure of co-operation and contact between ward staff and the parents of child patients.

» That the Minister should be advised to encourage hospital administrators to make provision for the frequent visiting of sick children by their parents, the time being flexibly arranged to suit both the needs of the child and the convenience of parents and ward staff and to facilitate contact and co-operation between them. » The inclusion in the training of nurses of an adequate course in child development, particularly its emotional aspects. Parents Centre’s suggestions for reforms – virtually all of which are taken for granted today – seemed to officialdom in the 1950s to be the product of a dangerous, subversive minority. However, Parents Centre has continued over nearly 70 years to advocate for parents and for their decisions about their babies to be treated seriously and with respect. KiwiParent | 65

Parents Becoming Centre a parent Aotearoa

Dunedin’s Japanese playgroup Yukari Garner – Playgroup member What started as a playgroup with only a few Japanese mums ten years ago has flourished so that today it is a close-knit community of mums who immigrated to New Zealand and decided to raise their children in New Zealand with Japanese culture. I joined Parents Centre last year and have found it is a perfect place for parents to gather with their little children for advice, a listening ear, and a hot coffee.

Japanese culture and cherish and experience its customs. Some of the parents whose children are older still join us at times to share their stories of when they were struggling with their little ones, which many of us find very supportive. We read Japanese books, sing Japanese songs, play Japanese games, and teach the language during the session. We celebrate the children’s birthdays and cook

Our playgroup is mainly for 0–5

with them. We have outdoor

year-old children to learn about

activities like picnics and BBQs,

66 | KiwiParent

and often we collaborate to celebrate Japanese festivals. When we have events outside of the usual playgroup, we welcome anybody who wishes to join us to experience the Japanese culture. It’s a wonderful opportunity to meet new people in the community. Us mums are all different ages and come from different backgrounds, but we are one another’s village. We believe that confronting difficult times and getting through them with the help of our community teaches our kids the greatest lesson of all.

Becoming a parent

“The support from local businesses and community donations has been overwhelming. We are a small Centre in a small town, and we did it!”

Ashburton Parents Centre’s rebirth Ashburton Parents Centre (APC) President Claire Tappin tells us about her Centre’s recent efforts to continue to help and connect with young families in the region. APC has been connecting families in mid-Canterbury since 1989. Our committee is passionate about keeping parenting education courses free for all parents, and keeping them local to support our growing community. We are able to do this thanks to the support from community grants, fundraising and donations. Unfortunately, 2020 was a really difficult year for us. Lockdown meant that we had to cancel some scheduled fundraisers, we couldn’t hire out our rooms for parties and Music & Movement classes had to take a break. These were all income streams that we had budgeted for and COVID left us with a balance sheet $3,000 short for the year.

We were also really struggling with low numbers of committee members, so we decided to put the call out to replenish our membership via our local radio station and local newspapers. We were absolutely blown away by the response and have now more than doubled our numbers.

We did a bake sale at our local farmers’ market, along with selling pea straw that had been donated by an incredible APC parent. We ran an Easter raffle, which raised $1,176. An APC parent offered to make and sell cheese rolls and this brought in $790, and we raised $1,555.53 from the annual PC Trade Me auction.

But we still had to fix our finances – if we finished the financial year in negative equity, we knew we’d be unlikely to obtain funding in the upcoming year to continue our work. So once again we decided to put a call out to our community asking for support via donations and support for our fundraising efforts. Hayley (our newly appointed Treasurer) and I spoke on the local radio station and put articles in local newspapers asking for the community’s support.

The support from local businesses and community donations has been overwhelming. We are a small Centre in a small town, and we did it! What an incredible community we live in. We can’t wait to support ALL parents and implement all our wonderful ideas going forward. There is always hope! Thanks to The Ashburton Courier for the photo that illustrates this story.

We fundraised flat out, and the donations started to come in. KiwiParent | 67

We are delighted with the amazing response we have received to the Hug it Forward campaign, which we ran with Huggies and New World.

CAMPAIGN

Update

The campaign ran from 19 April until 16 May and you can find details of the winners of the five $500 cash prizes and information about the total number of nappies that have been donated on our website. We are working hard to ensure that all your nappy donations reach the Kiwi families who need them the most.

68 | KiwiParent

Thank you for hugging it forward and giving back to your local community. We are also working with midwives and other organisations across Aotearoa to refer parents to the Hug it Forwardfunded courses. These are families who wouldn’t otherwise have access to our antenatal and parenting education. Look out for stories about these courses in future issues of KiwiParent.

Whangarei Waitemata Bays North Hibiscus Coast Onewa Hamilton Cambridge Auckland East

Putaruru

Papakura

Otorohanga

Manukau

Morrinsville

Franklin

Thames-Whitianga

West Auckland Central Auckland

Tauranga

East & Bays

Whakatane Rotorua

New Plymouth

Taupo

Stratford South Taranaki Hawkes Bay Central Hawkes Bay Palmerston North

Nelson District

Wairarapa

Marlborough Greymouth Kapiti Lower Hutt Ashburton Christchurch Timaru

Alexandra Districts Balclutha Dunedin Gore Oamaru Taieri

Mana Upper Hutt Wellington North Wellington South

50+

Locations across Aotearoa, & online

www.parentscentre.org.nz

From our readers

Fromreaders our

We love to hear from our readers and have started pop-up conversations about topics of interest to parents.

The topic

this issue

“

The one thing you learnt in Parents Centre antenatal classes that stuck with you and helped you navigate the first few months of parenthood

Our Parents Centre Aotearoa antenatal classes cover everything that expecting parents need to know during pregnancy, birth and beyond. There’s a whole lot of new information to take in – but we all remember that one fact that sticks with us and can be drawn on time and time again during our parenting journey. Thank you to everyone who shared the one key insight that really helped them in the early days of parenting. runners up

Winner “To always follow my intuition regardless of whatever others may be telling me.” Joan Elwin

“Don’t have high expectations! Take each day as it comes.” Karen Ngatawa

“Not all the advice you receive from well-meaning strangers will work for your family.” Jordan B Our favourite response has won a complete set of the Natural Instincts prize pack – formulated with the finest plant-derived ingredients, certified organic extracts, and pure essential oils to nourish and rejuvenate your skin.

“Breastfeeding may not be easy. The honesty of this comment stuck with me. I breastfed both my kids for about five months, and one more than the other. The first time, it was SO painful, the first 10 days were hell. You usually tend to focus on the birth, but breastfeeding was hard for me.” E Charles

“Communicate with your midwife throughout your birth and ask questions if you’re unsure. It’s your body and your birth.” Anna Williams

Get involved by heading to our website parentscentre.org.nz or following us on social media. There’s a prize to be won for one lucky contributor, announced in each issue of KiwiParent. 70 | KiwiParent

Member benefits Parents Centre Aotearoa member benefits

0800 222 966 / www.babyonthemove.co.nz

Huggies Attendees of CBE, Baby and You and toilet training programmes get a Huggies gift pack. Phone: 0800 733 703 www.huggies.co.nz

Philips Avent Attendees of Parents Centre Aotearoa CBE and Baby and You get breast pad samples and breastfeeding information. Phone: 0800 104 401 www.philips.co.nz/AVENT

Baby On The Move 20% off car seat hire, selected buggies and cots for all members. Phone: 0800 222 966 www.babyonthemove.co.nz

The Sleep Store 25% off Beco & Boba carriers plus 20% off other selected items, which are regularly updated. www.thesleepstore.co.nz content/parentscentre

Johnson & Johnson Attendees of Parents Centre CBE and Baby and You get baby bath gift packs and information on science of the skin. www.jnj.com

Resene Various discounts on decorating supplies and paints with Parents Centre Aotearoa membership card. www.resene.co.nz

The Baby Factory Regular Parents Centre Aotearoa discount days offering 20% off all stock including sale items. www.babyfactory.co.nz

SplashSave 43% discount for all members splashsave.org

Strategic partners

Partner with us!

Talking Matters A campaign to get everyone talking with babies and young children under three years. www.talkingmatters.org.nz

Parenting Place parentingplace.nz

Birthing Centre A free service to women of all ages whose pregnancy is considered lowrisk primary care. www.birthingcentre.co.nz

If you want to partner with Parents Centre Aotearoa, or would like to discuss how this may work for your business, contact Catherine at c.short@parentscentre.org.nz

KiwiParent | 71

Becoming a parent

Congratulations to the lucky winners from issue 300 GIVEAWAYS

Winners Crane 4-in-1 Top Fill Drop Cool Mist Humidifier with Sound Machine

Issue:

300

WINNER Monique Green Waiuku

www.thesleepstore.co.nz

Natural Instinct prize pack www.naturalinstinct.com.au

Essential mums pack from Hotmilk Lingerie www.hotmilklingerie.com

72 | KiwiParent

WINNER John Pitchford Wellington

WINNER Lisa Browne Auckland

Time to

travel again

Now that the trans-Tasman bubble

in Australasia, and beyond. These

is (at time of printing anyway) a

days Helen, like many of us, is a

reality, KiwiParent has been in

whizz at remote working and can

touch with Helen Rolton, a family-

talk with you about your travel

friendly travel consultant based

plans on Skype or Zoom from her

in Melbourne. Helen hails from

Melbourne base or you can email

Westport and Wellington, but has

her at helenr@travelmanagers.

called Melbourne home since

com.au.

1999. She has worked in travel for many years, owning an Adventure Travel franchise in Wellington in the 1990s before taking time out to raise her two boys.

Helen will be writing a regular web column for us, so head to parentscentre.org.nz/newsand-updates/ to read her handy hints to help you when travelling

She now specialises in family-

with babies and toddlers to

focused, activity-based holidays

Queenstown and Rotorua.

Helen Rolton travel consultant Email helenr@travelmanagers.com.au

KiwiParent Issue 301 - The Birth Issue

Articles inside

From our readers

Products

Book review

Research round-up