RRP $7.50 (incl GST)
SUPPORTING PARENTS THROUGH THE EARLY YEARS
SEPTEMBER – OCTOBER 2020
An adventure we could never have imagined One family’s adoption journey
Feeling sluggish? You could have an underactive thyroid gland
Finding a village Creating connections through antenatal groups
Antenatal anxiety & depression What it is and how we can help
Time for dads to be awesome! Lockdown lessons for fathers
The magazine of Parents Centre Aotearoa
297
ONLINE ANTENATAL CLASSES AT NO CHARGE Parents Centre is a not-for-profit organisation providing parents with information and skills for their transition to parenthood. We are offering online classes in Mandarin & Cantonese.
中文, 准妈妈孕期课程 汉密尔顿
- Pregnancy comfort - Labour journey - Understanding your rights - Feeding and meeting your baby’s needs - Transition to parenthood - Practical parenting
Parents Centre’s expertly facilitated programmes will be offered online and will be facilitated to ensure the classes aren’t one-way information or just a lecture, they will still be interactive, engaging and fun and we will still create your coffee group! 父母中心所提供的专业产前课程是具有大量有 趣的内容, 活跃的授课氛围及大量的互动.
Mandarin-Cantonese-English Speaking Classes Contact: - amanda_liu31@hotmail.com
www.parentscentre.org.nz
lass ive c guage” t a rm n lan info w y o r e r “v ou to y in l l ent a i m c n e o vir esp ere fe en they w a s to as a ns & “It w questio sponded ask ys re lly” alwa spectfu re
Subscribe & win
Subscribe or renew your subscription to Kiwiparent and go in the draw to WIN a Philips AVENT 4-in-1 Healthy Baby Food Maker valued at RRP $329.99! 1 years subscription to Kiwiparent (6 issues) is only $45 delivered to your door.
Visit .nz o c . t n e r a p i w ki be i r c s b to su
N I W S I H T
Effortlessly steam, blend and serve healthy homemade baby meals with the Philips Avent 4-in-1 Healthy Baby Food Maker. Terms & conditions Subscribers must be New Zealand Residents. Offer ends midnight 29 September 2020. Only one entry to prize draw per subscriber. Gift not redeemable for cash. Random winner drawn and contacted by Parents Centre NZ Inc. Kiwiparent is the magazine of Parents Centre New Zealand Inc. The magazine of Parents Centre Aotearoa 1
Cover photo: Laura Garcia, Pexels.com
Features
In this issue
Be comfortable on our cover
Letters to the editor....................................................... 4
Huggies photo competition 2020................................8–9
An adventure we could never have imagined Dave Atkinson...............................................................10–14
Product pages................................................................6–7 Is breastfeeding a contraceptive? Denise Ives.....................................................................34–38
Give your child a boost Claire Turner...................................................................16–18
Parents Centre Aotearoa pages.......................39–43
Antenatal anxiety & depression
Find a Centre...................................................................44
Professor Julia Rucklidge and Hayley Bradley......20–24
Not just baby babble Alison Sutton.................................................................26–29
Developing super skills
Lose yourself in a good story NZ Book Awards for Children and Young Adults.........................................................54–57
Elisa Mynen....................................................................30–33
Winners from the last issue.....................................76
Feeling sluggish?
Our funders......................................................................77
Dr Cathy Stephenson..................................................46–49
Finding a village Lacey White...................................................................50–52
Get the latest looks Resene creative team.................................................58–63
Time for dads to be awesome Christian Gallen.............................................................64–68
Cooking with kids Chelsea Sugar................................................................70–75
2
Find out about Parents Centre Aotearoa.........45
kiwiparent
Our partners..............................................................78–79 Giveaways..........................................................................80
SUPPORTING PARENTS THROUGH THE EARLY YEARS
SEPTEMBER – OCTOBER 2020
297
Kia ora, nga- mihi ki a koutou It is time to celebrate Father’s Day again – that special day set aside to acknowledge all the awesome men who step up to become dads.
An adventure we couldn’t have imagined | pages 10–14 Grief is a process of letting go. Letting go of what was, or what could have been, and accepting what is. After six years of blood tests, injections and procedures related to fertility treatment, my wife, Phoebe, and I arrived at the end of the road. We had to let go of the dream of having our own biological children and accept another future.
Antenatal anxiety and depression | pages 20–24 Pregnancy is a time where many physiological and psychosocial changes occur. It can bring a range of mixed emotions from excitement to apprehensiveness and stress. It is also a period of increased vulnerability to the onset or relapse of mental illness.
Not just baby babble | pages 26–29 Science tells us parents used to do the right thing instinctively – sing to baby, read to them, constantly stay close together in an environment where interaction and language were instinctual and natural. This laid down the foundation for them to develop their own language skills.
Kiwiparent. The magazine of Parents Centre Aotearoa. Since 1954.
Just as men come in all sizes and shapes, so too do dads. There are many different types of fathers – solo dads, stepfathers, working dads, stay-at-home fathers, surrogates, the list is infinite. This year has presented a whole raft of challenges for wha-nau here and around the world as COVID-19 wreaks havoc, but also provides unexpected opportunities to reconnect and slow down. In this issue, Christian Gallen writes about the way lockdown provided him with the chance to spend a lot of quality time with his preschooler. Another special dad shares his wha-nau’s journey with infertility and adoption with us. Dave Atkinson talks openly about how he and his wife worked through stages of grief, acceptance and finally delight as they build their family with two beautiful adopted children. If, for any reason, you can’t be with your dad in September, I am so sorry, this can be a very difficult time. I hope you are surrounded by love and can find comfort in precious memories. In 2019, the Children’s Commissioner, Andrew Becroft wrote about his first Father’s Day without his own dad. “I remember his influence on me. He made time for me and was always available; he listened; he supported me in all the ups and downs and was a terrific role model. This is what I hope all New Zealand fathers, grandfathers, uncles, etc aspire to. It’s certainly my aim!”
Editor Leigh Bredenkamp Ph (04) 472 1193 Mobile (0274) 572 821 leighb@e–borne.co.nz PO Box 28115, Kelburn, Wellington 6150
Editorial enquiries Ph (04) 233 2022 info@parentscentre.org.nz
Advertising sales Catherine Short Ph (04) 233 2022 info@parentscentre.org.nz
Design Hannah Faulke edendesign.nz
Proofing Alison Lipski
Printer Caxton Design and Print
Subscriptions info@parentscentre.org.nz
www.kiwiparent.co.nz
Publisher Parents Centre Aotearoa Ph (04) 233 2022
Kiwiparent is a publication of Parents Centre Aotearoa and reflects the philosophy and values of the organisation. Information contained in the articles is consistent with our transition to parenting programmes provided through our 47 Centres. Articles published in this magazine may be reproduced providing they are used for noncommercial purposes and written permission has been provided by Parents Centre.
Ma-ori Language Day falls on 14 September and commemorates the presentation of the Ma-ori language petition to parliament in 1972. Te Wiki o te Reo Ma-ori (Ma-ori Language Week) has become an important part of our national calendar, providing an opportunity to promote, raise awareness and encourage each other on our te reo Ma-ori journey. Most of us already know plenty of Ma-ori words …kiwi, po-hutukawa, wha-nau, marae, kia ora, aroha – and of course haka – have all become integral parts of everyday conversation. But if you want to develop your own wha-nau’s te reo skills, praise is a fantastic way for kids to experience Ma-ori language. Here are some phrases you can start using at home: Kia kaha! Be strong (try hard). Tau ke-! Awesome! Hongi mai. Give me a hongi. Awhi mai. Give me a hug. Ka rawe. Excellent. Te a-taahua hoki! Beautiful! Leigh Bredenkamp
ISSN 1173–7638 The magazine of Parents Centre Aotearoa
3
Letters
to the editor
Top Letter
Congratulations to the Top Letter winner, Nicola Law from Balclutha, who will win a prize pack from Natural Instinct.
Top letter prize The winning letter receives the complete Natural Instinct face care range, truly natural skincare products with active anti-ageing plant-based ingredients and 100% free from over 400 potentially harmful ingredients to you and the environment. Available from leading pharmacies. RRP $102.
Keeping little travellers safe Balclutha Parents Centre took delivery of five fantastic new capsule-style car seats and bases in June – these will be hired out to families in the Clutha District as our current ones will be expiring later this year. They are specialist reverse-facing car seats which provide protection for newborn to nine-month-old babies. We are so grateful for the grants and donations that have helped us to buy these expensive items. Funds came from the Clutha Licensing Trust, Clutha Foundation and from fundraising efforts from our Centre. Our new Vice President, Kendal Gouman, completed her car seat technician training over the school holidays – and this was funded by Otago Community Trust.
It is great to be able to continue this service with two qualified car seat technicians for the Centre and community. Nicola Law Balclutha Parents Centre Treasurer and Grants Officer
When our old car seats finish their service life, they are often given to the Balclutha Volunteer Fire Brigade to be used for car crash training.
Conscious parenting – want to know more? Check out upcoming programmes at your local Parents Centre: www.parentscentre.org.nz Browse through the resources here: www.skip.org.nz Join ‘Conscious Parenting’ pages and groups on Facebook online and read, read, read! 4Research kiwiparent
Photo credit: John Cosgrove, Otago Daily Times Photo caption: (From left) Clutha Licensing Trust CEO Mike Curtis, Clutha Foundation Executive Officer Denise Dent and Trustee Kerry Seymour, Balclutha Parents Centre Treasurer and Grants Officer Nicola Law and Balclutha Parents Centre Vice President Kendal Gouman. In the car seats are Katalina Saimoni (three months) and Bryn Maguire (four months).
are you baby ready?
Watch out for me in driveways Young children are at risk because they are often too small to be seen behind a vehicle and can slip unseen through an open gate and into the path of a moving car. The risk is even greater if the driveway is long, shared, in a quiet road or cul-de-sac or leads to an area where there is lots of parking space.
Top tips Keep children well away from driveways, as they are not play areas. Fence off the driveway from the main play area. Make it difficult for children to access the driveway by installing security doors or gates. Always check around your vehicle before moving and know where your child is before getting in. If you need to leave your vehicle, make sure it is always switched off and hand brake engaged. If you are around cars, hold your child’s hand and keep them close. Have a designated safe area where children learn to wait when a vehicle is leaving your driveway, and where drivers can see them.
Remember... CHECK for children before driving off SUPERVISE children around vehicles – always SEPARATE play areas from driveways
ADVANCED nappy disposal system Powered by Sangenic
Cot constructed. Nappies stacked. You’re ready for anything…right? How about when those nappies get filled? Are you prepared for the smellier side of parenting? The new stylish Twist and Click is the only nappy bin to twist and wrap each nappy for unbeatable odour block.
The only bin that individually seals each nappy for unbeatable odour-block Anti-bacterial film kills 99% of germs On trend colours to suit every home Refill made from 98% recycled plastic
tommeetippee.co.nz The magazine of Parents Centre Aotearoa
5
Product
information
Rainbocorns Wild Heart Surprise – available in-store from October in Farmers and The Warehouse Rainbocorns Wild Heart Surprise Series Three is full of totally WILD surprises with ten layers of surprise including new Rainbocorn characters and the most wild surprises yet! There are seven new characters to collect including the new Tucancorn, Zebracorn and even a rare sparkle Slothcorn! Clip their sequin heart to their belly and flip their sequins to reveal what your character loves. Discover even more surprises like nail decals and Rainbocorn wild poop. There are new long tailed BooBoocorns to collect, including rare twin Boo-Boocorns. Who will you find? RRP $29.00 www.zuru.com
The Crane Rechargeable Double Electric Breast Pump from The Sleep Store This pump is designed to mimic a baby’s natural sucking. The soft silicone breast cushion and easily adjustable modes help to stimulate milk let down, while gently massaging and squeezing the breast and nipple. Cleaning, caring for and using your pump are a breeze with the built-in rechargeable battery and easy to assemble two-piece silicone soft breast shield and milk collection sets. The sleek and portable design allows you more flexibility pumping at home or on the go. RRP $369.95 www.thesleepstore.co.nz
6
kiwiparent
iwiparent Follow K our ook for y on Faceb in w chance to corns o b in 1 of 6 Ra ses rt Surpri Wild Hea
The Graco® TrioGrow™ SnugLock® LX 3-in-1 car seat Keep your little one safe from day one, as this threein-one car seat converts from a rear-facing harness (2.2–18kg), to a forward-facing harness (10–30kg), and to a big kid highback booster (18.1–45kg). The no-rethread Simply Safe Adjust™ harness system easily adjusts the height of your harness and headrest to ten positions in one motion to get the safest fit for your child as they grow. Conveniently store the harness away in booster mode without removing with the integrated harness storage compartment. The six-position recline and removable infant head and body inserts keep your little one feeling cradled and comfortable on your many journeys together. When things get messy, the Rapid Remove cover comes off in 60 seconds, without removing the harness or uninstalling. Installation and harnessing are made easier with SnugLock® technology and the Graco® exclusive InRight™ push button LATCH, and Fuss Free harness pockets to keep the harness out of the way when getting your little one in and out of the car. Your child will also enjoy the two integrated cup holders to keep their drinks and snacks close at hand in all modes of use. This car seat is Graco® ProtectPlus Engineered™ – a combination of the most rigorous crash tests that help to protect your little one in frontal, side, rear and rollover crashes. RRP $539.00 www.babyonthemove.co.nz
Skincare Oil from Bio-Oil Stretch marks don’t have to be a fact of life. Enjoy plenty of vitamin-rich foods like carrots, kumara and leafy greens to naturally boost collagen. And try Bio-Oil Skincare Oil. It works to keep skin supple as your body grows. RRP from $18.99 for 60ml.
The magazine of Parents Centre Aotearoa
7
You’re doing
a great job!
Huggies recently launched a new campaign called ‘be comfortable in your skin’ to steer the conversation away from parent-shaming to supporting parents to do what they feel is right for their child. As mums and dads know, there are multiple expert views on the ‘right’ way to approach parenting challenges, along with an overwhelming amount of advice from friends, family and society. It can be hard deciding what’s right for your child, and not feeling shamed for the choices you make. At Huggies, we speak to, and hear from, hundreds of parents every day and we have witnessed an increase in parent-shaming behaviour in our own channels as well as in wider society. Huggies recognises that it has played a role in depicting a perfect ideal of parenthood, so we want to lead the charge by championing a culture in which parents feel confident and supported in the choices they make. We believe that, if your children are happy and healthy, you’re doing a great job and should be comfortable with your parenting decisions. Australian psychologist Sabina Read says that parentshaming is having concerning impacts on parents, with many suffering from mental health issues as a result. “We see that mums are typically quick to criticise themselves and take comments to heart, often devastating their confidence as parents,” Sabina says. “Sadly, this can even have knock-on effects on children, who feel their parents’ anxieties. Taking a stand on the issue is the first step to championing all parents.” Ultimately, we believe that if your baby is happy and healthy, you’re doing a great job – and you should feel as comfortable as your baby’s skin feels in Huggies nappies. For more than 30 years, Huggies has been helping parents to provide love, care and reassurance to help their babies thrive. From developing innovative, high-quality nappy products, to hosting popular online communities and developing informative digital resources that support new mums and dads, Huggies promises to be there with you every step of the way.
8
kiwiparent
And the winner of the 2020 Huggies photo competition is... Stephanie Tumai! Congratulations Stephanie, you’ve won yourself a cover shoot for Kiwiparent, a six-month supply of Huggies products AND you’re officially one of our Huggies social media ambassadors! Look for Stephanie on the November-December cover of Kiwiparent!
Congratulations to the runners-up – we loved hearing about your parenting philosophies!
First-time mama, my approach is to not raise my voice but to speak to her like a little human. So, I don’t use a baby voice; I speak to her as you would to any other adult. I tend to have discussions with her like one too to expand her mind early on. We do love our cuddles though! Pallavi Gamre
My approach to parenting is firm, flexible, and open to learn. Firm about my values and goals that I expect from both of them (one boy and one girl): be kind, be honest, be gentle; love your family and friends and have your priorities straight. Flexible about how I teach each of them those values and goals as they are two different children with very different personalities and needs. Do what works for each child instead of being rigid about how things need to be done. Always open to learn new things. I don’t have any parenting experience before they were born so there’s no way I know how to deal with children. I have been receiving a lot of advices and helps from nurses, doctors, teachers and I take in what I think will work. I see no point in being defensive and avoid problems. Learn new things, get help and tackle it. This is also what I want my children to learn from me: You don’t sit and whine, you stand up and figure out how you can solve your problems. Nguyễn Vĩnh Hằng
First-time mum which happened unexpectedly but I wouldn’t change it for the world! Our baby boy was lucky to survive labour only because of an emergency caesarean! After days in NICU we were able to go home; my approach to parenting was to do my best and if I mucked up to not beat myself up about it, because instantly I got a mother’s instinct. I knew that I would make mistakes but I would always make sure I did what’s best for our baby despite not having my family around, and also to take everything one step at a time because being a first-time mum is so challenging but so rewarding. (I can never get any photos of me and him together – this is probably my favourite though.) Shania Kohinga
Huggies and Kiwiparent are delighted to have achieved a reach of 74,346, with 681 reactions and 1,440 comments for this year’s cover star competition! We’ve been inundated with authentic stories about different approaches to parenting. So many parents have shown us that they are comfortable with their parenting style and are raising great Kiwi kids. Ka pai!
The magazine of Parents Centre Aotearoa
9
An adventure
we could never have imagined Our adoption story
10
kiwiparent
Grief is a process of letting go. Letting go of what was, or what could have been, and accepting what is. After six years of blood tests, injections and procedures related to fertility treatment, my wife, Phoebe, and I arrived at the end of the road. We had to let go of the dream of having our own biological children and accept another future. At the time, the only emotion was immense sadness, but looking back this loss was the beginning of a new adventure we could never have imagined. Several years before this, as we were journeying through infertility, my mind had already started to drift to other possibilities for our future, including adoption. But, as ready as I was to explore other options, Phoebe was not. Unfortunately, the immense grief that she was experiencing was not a solution for me to solve, but a journey we needed to walk together. It can be easy to romanticise what this was like in hindsight, but in reality it was really hard to sit with someone grieving and just listen, rather than jumping to options, possibilities or silver linings.
Time to consider other options A wise counsellor asked us earlier in our journey if we might consider, “What could be in God’s other hand?” At the time we were only interested in the hand that held a conception. However, having arrived at the end of the road, we were willing to finally consider our other options. On a long drive one weekend we started to discuss the possibility of adoption – for the first time in six long years a glimmer of hope pierced through the
darkness. As we began to discuss adoption with family and close friends, hope and excitement for our future finally started to return. Of course, this excitement was also punctuated with fears of the ‘what ifs…’. We reminded ourselves that to be parents is not about enhancing our lifestyle, but
Continued overleaf... The magazine of Parents Centre Aotearoa
11
about having the opportunity to nurture an amazing little human being as they grow into all they can be. Are we perfect? No. Do we have what we need to give this baby what they need? Absolutely. So, with the support of friends and family, we approached Oranga Tamariki and put our name forward for the adoption process.
The phone call we’d been waiting for Another dreaded Mother’s Day rolled around, but this year, in light of our new direction, it didn’t feel so despairing. It came and went without too much thought and heartache, but little did we know, Phoebe was already the mother of a darling little three-day-old boy! I was sitting at work when I got a phone call from an unknown number. It was our social worker, who said to me, “This is the phone call you have been waiting for.” Four days later Phoebe and I were driving home with our precious boy Harley in the car, and we were a family. The rest of our story from that moment will feel quite familiar to any parent. We had to fake it until we made it. And we had to get to know this little human being as any parent does, as a unique individual, like no other person in the world. As parents, our focus was, and will always be, who do we need to be in order for Harley to flourish and realise his full potential? How can we provide a safe place of unconditional love, from which he can venture out into the world, and always return home? As we became parents, I saw Phoebe’s spark return. I marvel at her creativity, patience and love. She was born to be a Mother. So much so that three years after Harley came home, we decided that we were ready to grow our family again. Around that time, Phoebe had been lent a book by a friend titled The Lucky Few. It is a story of a young couple who, after several years of infertility, found themselves in the position of adopting a child with Down syndrome. Phoebe was quite moved by the book and asked me to also read it.
12
kiwiparent
Inspirational but confronting The book was an inspirational read, but also incredibly confronting. What would we do if we ever found ourselves in that position? What are our assumptions, biases and fears that we might need to re-examine? What should our family look like? What is our view of ‘the good life’? What is most important to us, control, predictability, ease of life? And if control is so important, what other possibilities might we be shutting out of our future? What space should we give to our fears? How loud should they be and how should they inform our decisions? In a nutshell, what is life really all about? Regarding adoption, the specific question for us was what we should say yes or no to. To most this would be an abstract question, but for us there was a very specific box that we needed to decide whether to tick or not. In every adoption, you choose your matching criteria, essentially a list of questions you answer ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to. Questions including whether we would consider adopting a child with a disability. Of course, we needed to decide what we felt we could take on and our capacity as a couple. But the other important perspective was from that of the child we were considering adopting. What was best for their life, and do Phoebe and I have the resources and capacity to be the parents that little life needs? After much soul searching we ticked ‘yes’. We did so trusting that we would be OK. In fact, we had a suspicion that we might just find ourselves as part of those ‘Lucky Few’.
Continued overleaf...
The magazine of Parents Centre Aotearoa
13
A blessing to everyone she meets One year later, we found ourselves driving home with Kyla in our backseat, sitting beside her very excited and smitten big brother. Our life does not look anything like our original plan, and things won’t be easy for Kyla as she navigates her challenges. We ourselves have experienced many difficult days and journeyed through some dark valleys together. But as I write this story, I remember the smile Kyla gave me as I headed out the door to work this morning, and I feel blessed beyond words. Kyla is a gift, a blessing to everyone she meets, and a reminder to me every day that every life is valuable and precious, despite what challenges they might face. We have two amazing children, and a wonderful relationship with their birth parents and wider wha-nau. In a world full of pain and disappointment, we have found a way to turn around, stare directly at it, and embrace the challenge. We know that this journey is not for everyone, but it was for us. And having lived it, I can tell you that it is far less dramatic than it might seem written on paper. It was simply one big ‘yes’ and then embracing everything that came afterwards.
Want to know more about adoption? If you’re considering adoption, the best place to start is to contact Oranga Tamariki-Ministry for Children. Adoption social workers can answer any initial questions you have and tell you when the next group information session is in your area. www.orangatamariki.govt.nz/adoption/ adopting-in-nz
Dave Atkinson Dave has been involved in youth work for many years and has spoken to thousands of young people at high schools, youth events, on radio, at camps and at church services. He worked for Attitude, the youth education division of Parenting Place, from 2006 till 2015. He is now the Parenting Place CEO.
14
kiwiparent
Safety first, with
% oor fafll
10
f entre C t n e r a P ers. Memb : PC10* DE USE CO
SnugLock® 35 LX Capsule & Base
Triogrow™ Snuglock® LX 3-in-1
Tranzitions® 3-in-1
TurboBooster® Highback
Help protect your little ones in frontal, side, rear and rollover crashes. New Zealand ‘S’ Safety Standard. EXCLUSIVELY AVAILABLE FROM BABY ON THE MOVE NATIONWIDE
New Zealand
0800 222 966 / www.babyonthemove.co.nz
*Offer expires 30 September 2020. The magazine of Parents Centre Aotearoa
15
16
kiwiparent
Give your child
a boost
One of the most important jobs you have as a parent is keeping your child safe. From the moment you bring your baby home from the hospital or take them for their first outing to visit nana, you will need a specially designed car seat until they grow big enough to fit an adult seatbelt, typically at around ten years or older. Of all the things you’ll buy for your child, a car seat is one of the most important purchases you will make.
The best car seat is the one that fits your child’s weight, height and age, and is properly fitted into your type of vehicle. Studies show that nearly 80% of child restraints are installed incorrectly in New Zealand and may leave children vulnerable in a car crash. Child restraint technicians play a very important role in keeping children safe on our roads. Waka Kotahi NZ Transport Agency says that certified child restraint technicians have been trained and certified through a competence-based system. This means they can provide informed advice on the type of child restraint parents may need. They also have the practical knowledge to correctly fit the child restraint into a vehicle and show you how to do it too. All Baby On The Move stores have child restraint technicians who are qualified to help you get the installation of the car seat correct. As your child grows, you will need to transition from one car seat to another. Here we explain the different types of car seats available to help you choose the best option for your wha-nau.
Convertible car seat A convertible car seat can be used with children of various sizes and can change from a rear-facing to a forward-facing seat. A convertible seat starts in a rear-facing position for babies and toddlers and is then turned forward-facing as your child gets older. A convertible car seat can take you from birth through to four or five years of age, depending on the model. We recommend that all infants and toddlers ride in a rear-facing car seat until they reach the highest weight or height allowed by the seat’s manufacturer. This is because rear-facing provides your child with up to five times better protection from serious injury in a
crash, compared with forward-facing. Most convertible seats have limits that will permit children to stay rearfacing until they are two years of age or older.
All-in-one car seat All-in-one car seats are the longest-lasting and most versatile convertible seat options, offering rear-facing, forward-facing and booster modes. Like regular convertible car seats, they can be used from birth, but can also be the next step after your baby grows out of their infant car seat. In rear-facing mode, most allin-one car seats have an entry weight requirement of around 2.2kg and a maximum weight limit of 18–23kg. In harnessed, forward-facing mode, they could start at around 9kg (although a minimum of two years of age is recommended) and have a maximum limit of 30kg. In booster mode, these car seats usually have a weight range of around 18–54kg.
Need to make sure? If you have any questions about your car seat, and whether you are using it correctly, you can contact our partners at Baby On The Move and speak with a certified child restraint technician, who will be able to guide you through the suitability of your car seat, and the installation process, helping you keep your little ones safe in the car. www.babyonthemove.co.nz 0800 222 966
Continued overleaf... The magazine of Parents Centre Aotearoa
17
some head support. Children are safest to continue using boosters until they reach 148cm in height, even if this is after they meet the age requirements for being allowed to come out of a booster seat.
Harnessed booster Sometimes called three-in-one seats, these keep your child in a full harness from 9kg to 18kg or up to 30kg depending on the seat you buy. These can be converted into an unharnessed/seatbelt booster as well. These are suitable for children who are no longer rear-facing, but who are not yet ready for a seatbelt booster. They can be a good upgrade for an older sibling, when a new baby needs to go into a rear-facing seat.
Booster seat Boosters are the last car seat a child will use before moving to use the adult seatbelts in a car. It’s important to know the right time to move into, and graduate out of, a booster seat. Generally, children will need to be at least 15–18kg and four years or older to start using a booster. Booster seats help raise a child up so that the seatbelt fits them properly. The belt guides in the headrest of the booster position the shoulder belt to rest midway between the neck and shoulder, and across the sternum. The lap belt should sit low across the child’s upper thighs. Booster seats rely on a vehicle’s seatbelt to restrain a child, so the best booster is the one that positions the belt properly on your child to give them maximum protection. We recommend high-backed (full) boosters for everyday use because they position the shoulder belt more effectively on a child. They also provide some side-impact protection and offer a more comfortable place for resting children to lay their head. Some boosters allow the back to be removed, to use as a booster cushion or half booster, but there are no safety benefits to removing the back of your child’s booster. They may also be a useful convenience to use as a spare booster seat when carpooling but are not recommended for everyday use. If your vehicle’s seat doesn’t have head restraints or has a low seatback, then a high-backed booster may be necessary to give
18
kiwiparent
Here are some other things to consider when you are thinking about buying a car seat: C ar seats range in size and shape. Some are wider or narrower than others, or may take up more space when rear-facing. It’s important to check how a seat fits in your car, and whether it allows enough space for other passengers to be comfortable and safe. I f you are planning on expanding your family to three (or more) children, you will need to consider whether fitting three (or more!) seats into your vehicle is possible. I f you will be moving the seat from one car to another regularly, check how the seat installs. Some have an in-built lock-off system for easy, safe and stress-free installation. Using a child restraint correctly plays a vital role in keeping your children safe in your vehicle. You must always follow the manufacturer’s instructions. Your car seat’s instruction manual will tell you everything you need to know to use it safely to provide your child with the best protection. A restraint’s manual will also tell you the weight, height and age limits for a child to use it safely.
Claire Turner Claire is the Director of Baby On The Move and a child restraint technician/trainer/assessor specialising in child restraints for over 18 years, plus a wife and the mother to two teenage boys. She is constantly researching new and innovative car seat restraints and has just recently returned from Atlanta (USA) visiting the Graco HQ and its testing facility.
KEEP YOUR TAMARIKI SAFE
It’s the law that all children aged under the age of 7 need to be secured in a child restraint/baby capsule, and you should keep your child rear-facing until at least the age of 2. Check your child restraint manual for more information. We know that installing a child restraint isn’t the easiest thing to do, so we have a range of free and helpful videos, which are available in English and Te Reo at www.nzta.govt.nz/childrestraints You’ll find a range of tips, FAQs and installation guide videos to view. You can also watch a discussion of the child restraints basics, by clicking on Buying and installing child restraints at the top of the webpage.
The magazine of Parents Centre Aotearoa
19
Antenatal anxiety
&
depression What is it and what helps?
20
kiwiparent
Pregnancy is a time when many physiological and psychosocial changes occur. It can bring a range of mixed emotions from excitement to apprehensiveness and stress. It is also a period of increased vulnerability to the onset or relapse of mental illness. Until recently, mental health problems during the antenatal period have received much less attention in comparison to mental health problems in the postpartum period. The most common mental health problems during pregnancy are anxiety and depression, which are amongst the leading causes of maternal morbidity and mortality worldwide. New Zealand is home to some of the highest rates of antenatal anxiety and depression internationally with between 20–25% and 12–22% of pregnant women affected respectively. Symptoms of antenatal anxiety and depression can often occur concurrently; they can range from mild to severe and can either continue on to or begin anytime during pregnancy. Symptoms of antenatal anxiety can include panic attacks, phobias and persistent worry about anything, including concerns about baby’s health, pregnancy and/or birth. Women experiencing anxiety during their pregnancy can often feel irritable, tense and low in energy and have difficulties with concentration or sleep. Pregnant women experiencing depression, on the other hand, can feel low in mood and/or lose interest or pleasure in things that they usually enjoy. They may experience changes in sleep or appetite, and feel on edge, guilty, worthless and/or hopeless. They may have little energy or motivation to do anything, have poor concentration and even have thoughts that life isn’t worth living. Many symptoms of antenatal anxiety and depression such as fatigue, loss of energy, appetite and changes in sleep overlap with normal pregnancy symptoms and, as such, it can be difficult to distinguish between common pregnancy symptoms and those which may be expressions of a more serious underlying mental health issue. Although a degree of anxiety and ‘ups and downs’ is normal, when there are several symptoms present and the symptoms begin to affect a woman’s daily functioning or become upsetting, antenatal anxiety and depression may be the cause and support should be sought.
Continued overleaf... The magazine of Parents Centre Aotearoa
21
Some mums more at risk than others Some pregnant women are at greater risk of developing anxiety and/or depression than others. Women who have a personal history of mental illness, have little support from their partner or socially, or have an unplanned or unwanted pregnancy are more likely to develop antenatal anxiety and depression as well as women who experience adverse life events or high stress. Antenatal anxiety and depression can have a long-term impact not only on the pregnant woman but also on her infant and the rest of the family. Anxiety and depression during the antenatal period are the strongest predictors of postnatal depression, which in turn can affect the relationship between the mother and affect the cognitive, socioemotional and behavioural development of the infant. Anxiety and depression during pregnancy have also been associated with an increased risk of pregnancy and birth complications, and of depression in fathers. Given the wider implications of antenatal anxiety and depression, it is paramount that the symptoms are recognised and treated early in the pregnancy. Currently in New Zealand, as in many other countries, the first line of treatment recommended for mild to moderate symptoms of antenatal anxiety and depression is psychological interventions, which typically include talking therapies such as cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and interpersonal therapy (IPT). Although evidence to support the efficacy of these treatments is increasing, and the majority of pregnant women prefer
22
kiwiparent
this form of treatment over medication, many have difficulty accessing these treatments due to issues with time, stigma, cost and childcare. For more severe symptoms, psychiatric medication is the recommended treatment even though there is little evidence to support its effectiveness and safety during pregnancy. Many pregnant women are reluctant to use this form of treatment given the known and unknown risks to the baby. Unfortunately, risks to the exposed baby are well documented and include congenital abnormalities, developmental delays and increased risk of mental and physical health problems later in life. For any pregnant woman suffering from anxiety and/or depression, the risks of exposing the baby to psychiatric medication during pregnancy must be weighed against the risks to both the mother and the baby of untreated anxiety and depression. Given the barriers to accessing conventional treatments, many pregnant women may be left untreated. In an attempt to address this treatment gap, alternative interventions including acupuncture, massage, bright light therapy and exercise have been investigated. These interventions are beginning to show promise in reducing symptoms of depression but not yet anxiety. Other promising interventions include web-based interventions that utilise CBT or behavioural activationbased programmes. These self-help programmes have been shown to be beneficial for improving both anxiety- and depressive-related symptoms during the antenatal period and may be perhaps a more accessible and affordable alternative to seeing a therapist.
Diet plays a significant role Nutritional interventions present another possible treatment option for symptoms of anxiety and depression during pregnancy given that diet has been shown to play a significant role in maternal mental health. Diets that are less diverse and poor in quality such as those that have highly processed and sugary foods have been associated with symptoms of antenatal depression, anxiety and stress. A healthy diet on the other hand, such as the Mediterranean diet, that is rich in fruits and vegetables and healthy fats from nuts, seeds and fish has been associated with lower symptoms of depression and anxiety during pregnancy and improved cognitive enhancement and social relatedness in the infant. A healthy, varied diet is important for maintaining wellbeing perhaps owing to the variety of vitamins and minerals contained in food. Nutrients work together in the body and indeed every cell in our body requires a diverse range of vitamins and minerals in order to support both physical and mental functioning. Nutrients are required for the synthesis of neurotransmitters, which can include our feel-good hormones. Some people, however, may need more nutrients than they can typically obtain from their diets given that our foods are less nutrient dense than they were 50 years ago. Additionally, some people may not absorb vitamins and minerals as well as others because of inflammation in the gut and genetic differences. This means that fewer nutrients are available to support optimal brain function. One way in which we can get more nutrients into our body is to supplement with vitamins, minerals and amino acids. Although a number of studies have focused on the prevention of postnatal depression, very few have investigated the use of nutritional supplements for the treatment of anxiety and depression during pregnancy. Omega 3 fatty acids have shown promise for reducing depression scores during the antenatal period and a multi-vitamin and mineral supplement taken during the preconception period has improved symptoms of depression for women with evidence of mood disruption. Indeed, evidence has accumulated over the last ten years showing that multi-vitamin and mineral interventions have been beneficial for a variety of psychological conditions including low mood and anxiety. Nutritional supplements may therefore present
Would you like to be part of the Nutrimum trial? The Mental Health and Nutrition Research Group – Te Puna Toiora at the University of Canterbury is committed to finding and evaluating new ways forward for women struggling with these symptoms during pregnancy. As such, they have designed a trial to provide healthcare providers and expectant mothers with information about whether multinutrients can be effective in reducing symptoms of antenatal depression and anxiety as well as improve general health outcomes and development of their infants. They are looking for pregnant women currently residing and planning to birth in New Zealand who are aged 16 years and over, between 12 and 24 weeks gestation and feeling low, irritable, worried, anxious and/or overwhelmed. All women who participate in the trial are randomised to take either broad-spectrum nutrients or iodine for 12 weeks. After 12 weeks, all women can try out the nutrients, which are provided either until birth or six months postpartum. The trial has been approved by the national ethics committee as well as by Medsafe. The research team involves a psychiatrist/physician, a midwife and a registered clinical psychologist, providing mental health oversight to all women participating in the trial. Closing date to register for the trial is 15 September, 2020. For more information, visit: www.bit.ly/nutrimum
Continued overleaf...
The magazine of Parents Centre Aotearoa
23
an alternative treatment for antenatal anxiety and depression; however, more research is needed. It is clear that antenatal anxiety and depression are serious problems that need to be recognised and treated urgently and effectively. Emerging evidence suggests that alternative interventions may be effective at treating anxiety and depression during pregnancy
24
and may provide additional options for women who do not want to engage or are not able to access conventional treatments. Further research will help with making those difficult decisions about which treatments hold evidence for effectively treating these debilitating symptoms that can emerge during pregnancy.
Hayley Bradley
Professor Julia Rucklidge
Hayley is a PhD and Clinical Psychology student within the Mental Health and Nutrition Research Group – Te Puna Toiora at the University of Canterbury. Her research focuses on the use of multinutrients as an alternative treatment option for women struggling with symptoms of low mood and anxiety during their pregnancy.
Julia is a Professor of Clinical Psychology and Director of the Mental Health and Nutrition Research Group – Te Puna Toiora at the University of Canterbury. She is passionate about finding alternative treatments for psychiatric symptoms and being a voice for those who have been let down by the current mental health system.
kiwiparent
Looking for support? Free call or text 1737 any time for support from a trained counsellor Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Aotearoa www.pada.nz Health Navigator www.healthnavigator.org.nz Mothers Helpers www.mothershelpers.co.nz Depression Helpline 0800 111 757 Healthline 0800 611 116 Lifeline 0800 543 35 Samaritans 0800 726 666
The magazine of Parents Centre Aotearoa
25
Not just
baby babble Science tells us parents used to do the right thing instinctively – sing to baby, read to them, constantly stay close together in an environment where interaction and language were purely instinctual and very natural. This was very important to baby and laid down the foundation for them to develop their own language skills.
26
kiwiparent
Changes to modern family structures mean that some children are missing out. Many families live away from their extended wha-nau in big cities with fewer opportunities to mix with others. Screen time can eat into interaction time, families are under more pressure and the stresses pile up. Sometimes busy adults end up talking to, not with, their tamariki. Most families are keen to support their children’s learning but don’t always know the speed at which babies learn; nor do they fully understand the power of language to shape their little ones’ lives and future opportunities. Even among experts, the value of home languages in building communication and literacy is not always acknowledged – and it is increasingly important as more families are culturally and ethnically diverse. Oral language is the basis for reading and writing, yet there has been less focus on oral language in policy, funding and professional development.
“Sing, play, read and interact with your child. Don’t dumb things down – your little one learns more than you think, as their brains are sponges soaking up information around them.” – Alison Sutton
Does talking really matter? Absolutely! The research is clear. We know that children’s early experiences shape their overall development and ability to learn. The first 1,000 days are particularly important for building the capacity to love, learn, think and communicate.
Interaction and talk help shape a child’s brain and influence their social, emotional and intellectual capabilities throughout their lives. Talk is important in whatever languages families use – it doesn’t have to be English. For babies and toddlers, the language (or languages) of their family matters most of all.
It’s never too early to start Talk is free and every family does it – and every family is capable of gifting even more language to their tamariki. Quite simply, if you want your child to be smart – talk to them! You can’t start too early. Before your pe-pi can speak, learn to watch them carefully – they are communicating with you by facial gestures, cries, and non-verbal sounds. If you talk to your baby, sing to them, chat out loud, then language will surround them, and they will be soaking it up. It is important to notice and respond to your tamariki – follow their lead and talk about the things that
Continued overleaf... The magazine of Parents Centre Aotearoa
27
interest them. For example, if your child loves playing with trucks, sit next to them on the floor and talk with them. Talk about the big yellow truck with six wheels. Ask who will be driving it, where it will go, what it will pick up, etc. In this way you will extend their language and vocabulary. You are, in fact, directing what they learn. I believe the key is to be intentional and to aim high. Children are learning faster and are capable of so much more than many of us expect. Take part in to-and-fro talking, singing, storytelling – talkaccompanied playing and doing are all critically important if a child’s thinking and language are to flourish. Different families and communities will have a range of approaches that fit their language, culture, values and circumstances. It is important to speak to them in their heritage language. If possible, introduce a second language to your little one. Studies show that bilingual babies have bigger brains – they will be at an advantage as they grow if they can speak and understand more than one language.
28
kiwiparent
“The first 1,000 days are particularly important for building the capacity to love, learn, think and communicate. Interaction and talk help shape a tamariki’s brain and influence their social, emotional and intellectual capabilities throughout their lives.” – Alison Sutton
If you want to tune in to your tamariki – start with what holds their interest and follow their lead. Talk more often – talk with them for longer and encourage them to talk to you; describe everyday things and everyday objects. Chat to them about what you and they are doing. Every moment is potentially a talking moment.
Top tips for a languagerich home Gift your tamariki ‘juicy’ new words – expand on the words they know. If the word seems too hard, use it and explain, rather than avoid it. For example, instead of saying “look at that big truck” try using words like “enormous”, “gigantic” or “massive” instead. Encourage your child to talk and take turns – back-and-forth conversations make a big difference and help your child to feel as though their opinions are valued. To really develop their brains, children have to participate and contribute as well as listen. Even when babies aren’t forming words, they will ‘talk’ to you in their own language; give them
Made for Me
Introducing our new Electric Breast Pump Quiet and discreet, use anywhere
the time to make their noises to you, then respond to them. You’ll soon notice how excited they get that they’ve been listened to and feel connected. Ask fewer questions – questions don’t add knowledge. Gift additional words to build children’s understanding of ideas and concepts. It is great to get in the habit of using open questions; you’ll find this will be a useful tool as they get older when you want their answer to be more than a ‘yes’ or ‘no’. For example, rather than “Did you have a good day playing with Daddy?”, change it to “What did you and Daddy do together today?” Talk to them – praise their efforts and learn to relate to their interests; expand and talk everywhere. This is simple, free and easy. You have the power to make a real difference.
Read books every day – the language in books is different from everyday conversation and expands their understanding of the world. It is never too early to read to babies. Books also help build the bond between child and reader and help the child get ready for reading when they are older.
Lightweight, portable and efficient Gentle on hard-working breasts
Sign songs and waiata – whether it is a lullaby to soothe a fussy baby or a lively action song with enthusiastic toddlers, surround your children with song. It will help to teach vocabulary and communication skills. And it is fun! Limit digital media – don’t let the TV or smart device become a babysitter. No device can substitute for human interaction.
Alison Sutton Alison, Founder of Talking Matters, is stepping back from paid working life. She spent the last six years of a successful career in education conceiving, materialising and then leading Talking Matters. Alison established Talking Matters to promote the importance of oral language in the early years.
tommeetippee.co.nz29
The magazine of Parents Centre Aotearoa
30
kiwiparent
Developing
super skills
Speech and language development
Research has proven that communication is the ‘super skill’ that sets young children up for academic and social success, and that their communication ability at the start of school predicts their later success in life. In terms of language development, steady progress is more important than speed of progress. Children all learn at different rates – some are fast language learners and some are slow, so it is more helpful to look for steady progress through the developmental stages rather than to focus on how quickly your child moves through these stages.
They will be building their own sentences rather than using mostly memorised expressions.
By 48 months Children have typically acquired basic sentence forms and will be using adult grammar at this age. When children have difficulty learning language, and their language difficulties create obstacles to communication and learning in everyday life and are unlikely to resolve (or have not resolved) by age five, they may be diagnosed as having a Language Disorder.
Critical language production milestones By 18 months Ideally, children will be using at least 20 words including nouns (dog, ball), verbs (sit, hop), prepositions (me, he), adjectives (big, hot) and social words (hug, sing).
By 24 months Generally, children will use at least 100 words at this age, be combining two words together, and be using at least two verbs. Word combinations should be actively generated by the child, eg “More drink” or “Mummy gone.” (Memorised expressions do not count, eg “What’s that?”, “Yes please” and “Bye-bye”.)
By 30 months By this age, most children will be using a minimum of two early sentences (including both a subject and a verb) inside half an hour’s play time with a parent.
Continued overleaf... The magazine of Parents Centre Aotearoa
31
What about slow talkers? A slow talker is a toddler between 18 and 30 months who has limited spoken vocabulary and has difficulty producing verbal language in the context of otherwise good understanding and normal general development. Some late talkers do “grow out of it” by the time they start school; however, studies show that these children may go on to have weaker oral language skills than their peers.
Critical speech production milestones When families are concerned about children’s pronunciation of words, they often look on the internet to find the age by which children should be able to say different speech sounds. Speech-language therapists are especially concerned with the particular types and patterns of sound errors that children are making, to determine whether these errors are developmentally appropriate or are unexpected and signal the presence of delayed or disordered speech development.
By 12 months Children have started babbling.
By 24 months Children’s speech is 50% understood by unfamiliar adults.
By 36 months
Literacy and the critical age hypothesis The critical age hypothesis is that literacy acquisition – the ability to read widely and well – is likely to be compromised if a child’s speech is not intelligible by the time formal literacy instruction begins. Persistent mild speech production difficulties beyond age six to nine are also associated with difficulties in literacy.
Who should I talk to if I am concerned? A speech-language therapist! Speech-language therapists are the professionals uniquely qualified to assess, diagnose and treat communication disorders. Educators, Plunket nurses, GPs, and paediatricians may be able to assess communication challenges; however, only a speech-language therapist who specialises in this area will be able to give you the confidence of a qualified diagnosis and treatment for any communication concerns.
Trust your parent instincts If you find yourself discussing concerns about your child’s communication development with friends and family, and they are telling you not to worry and that everything will be OK, don’t delay – seek professional advice from a speech-language therapist. We find that when families bring their child to us for evaluation, their concern is justified every time. Parents tend to know best!
Children’s speech is 75% understood by unfamiliar adults.
By 48 months Children’s speech is 100% understood by unfamiliar adults.
32
kiwiparent
The importance of hearing If you are concerned about your child’s communication, we recommend you organise a hearing test straight
Find out more Visit speechtherapy.org.nz to find a therapist near you. Speech Language Therapy Awareness Week for 2020, 7–13 September 2020, “Get Connected, Be Connected, Stay Connected”.
away to formally rule out hearing loss. Keep in mind that hearing loss and ear infections between age 12 and 18 months are often associated with speech and language delay.
A child is never too young to see a speech-language therapist The idea that a child has to be a certain age to see a speech-language therapist is a mistaken assumption to do with public service constraints – it is completely untrue. All the research out there tells us that the earlier the intervention, the better the outcome. So, don’t delay – seek professional advice from a qualified therapist if you are concerned about any aspect of your child’s communication. There can often be a long wait to see a Ministry of Education speech-language therapist so seeing a private therapist is another option. They will conduct a comprehensive assessment, make objective intervention recommendations, and offer support.
Elisa Mynen Elisa is the Managing Director of Speechie Centre for Speechlanguage Therapy. She is a registered Speechlanguage Therapist and a registered Learning Disabilities Teacher with over 20 years of experience working with children and families. Elisa believes that everyone has the right to learn language to communicate and to learn language to read and write. Speechie’s vision is making it easy for people to get speech-language therapy when they need it. www.speechie.co.nz
The magazine of Parents Centre Aotearoa
33
Is breastfeeding a
contraceptive?
I couldn’t help but smile to myself as I wrote this heading... Only today someone was talking about this and said that the chances of sex happening again in the foreseeable future were slim – the journey of labour and giving birth was enough to ensure there was little chance of any pregnancyinducing behaviour happening in their house!
34
kiwiparent
However, the question of the contraceptive effect of breastfeeding does come up quite often so it’s important to know the facts. Breastfeeding as a way of avoiding pregnancy is referred to as the Lactational Amenorrhea Method, or LAM. This method has only a 1–2% failure rate (similar to condoms) providing all three of the following are true: The mother’s period has not returned since the birth of her baby (spotting or bleeding during the first 56 days does not count) AND
Return of menstruation During the first 56 days after a woman has given birth, spotting or bleeding does not count as a period. However, after the first 56 days, spotting or bleeding of at least two days or longer in duration should be considered as a period, or any other bleeding that the mother feels is a return of menstruation. This would mean that LAM may no longer be effective and other contraception should be used.
Breastfeeding at night For the second condition to be considered effective, the mother should be breastfeeding at least once during the night as well as on demand during the day. Prolactin levels (prolactin is the hormone that tells the body to make breast milk) are higher at night thus having a greater impact on fertility. If the baby goes longer than four hours during the day or six hours at night without breastfeeding, or regularly has a five-hour break from breastfeeding in any 24-hour period, the effectiveness of LAM may be reduced, and other contraception should be considered.
Baby is less than six months old „ The mother is breastfeeding her baby on demand day and night, with no other regular drink or food substitutes AND „ The baby is less than six months old. If any one of these is not true, then the chance of LAM being effective is reduced. At the point that any one of the above conditions changes, the couple should use other methods of contraception if they are keen to avoid pregnancy.
Once a baby reaches six months of age, it is common for other foods to be introduced and for babies to go longer between feeds. Due to fewer breastfeeds taking place from six months onwards, LAM will become less effective and once again other contraception should be used. Methods of contraception that will not impact breastfeeding are barrier methods such as condoms or diaphragms, spermicides, or non-hormonal IUDs. Natural family planning methods can be hard to use at this stage due to the impact of breastfeeding on the signs of fertility.
Continued overleaf... The magazine of Parents Centre Aotearoa
35
Breastfeeding as contraception Breastfeeding can also be a form of contraception for the first six months after giving birth. It is important to discuss with your midwife, lactation consultant, La Leche League group or GP about how this works and what you need to be aware of during this time. New Zealand Family Planning www.familyplanning.org.nz
Denise’s mum and her granddaughter
Denise Ives After the first six weeks, progesterone-only methods such as the mini-pill, injectable contraceptives, and other IUDs may be suitable. Progesterone-only methods are unlikely to have an impact on breastfeeding, but it is advisable to wait until six weeks or so has passed to allow breastfeeding to become more established as some mothers anecdotally report a reduction in supply. Remember, if you do not want to get pregnant, choose a reliable form of contraception that you are able to use consistently – but no form of contraception is 100% guaranteed, not even sterilisation. The ONLY way to avoid pregnancy is to not have sex… I feel we have returned to the first paragraph!
Denise is a La Leche League leader based in Dunedin, where she has lived for 10 years since leaving England. She is also a qualified breastfeeding counsellor, having completed a diploma in England with the University of Bedfordshire and National Childbirth Trust. Denise founded The Breast Room® in Dunedin, a drop-in breastfeeding support clinic where parents can go for free one-to-one breastfeeding support. Denise has two children aged 26 years and 16 years, and a five-year-old granddaughter. Denise enjoys walking her dogs, playing clarinet, reading and knitting.
Remember, it is always good to contact your local La Leche League group to discuss anything concerning breastfeeding.
Find out more La Leche League International www.llli.org/breastfeeding-info/birth-control World Alliance for Breastfeeding Action www.waba.org.my/resources/lam/#LAM
36
kiwiparent
The magazine of Parents Centre Aotearoa
37
Find the contraception
that works for you Finding postpartum contraception that is right for you is an important part of your postnatal care.
After your birth New Zealand Family Planning advises some contraceptives can be used soon after giving birth and recommends progestogen-only methods, which research shows do not affect breast milk volume, or infant growth. C ontraceptive implant – the implant (Jadelle) lasts for five years and can be removed at any time. It is very effective and can be inserted immediately after giving birth. D epo Provera injection – the injection is given every 12 weeks and is very effective. It can be started immediately. E mergency contraceptive pill – the ECP can be used any time after delivery and can be taken up to three days after sex, but is less effective for those who weigh more than 70kg – an emergency IUD is best in this instance. Condoms are also a safe and affordable option and can be used at any time.
38
kiwiparent
Other methods of contraception I ntrauterine device (IUD) – a copper or hormonal IUD can be inserted immediately after delivery, but it is more common to have it inserted six weeks after the birth. It lasts for five or more years (depending on type) and can be removed at any time. P rogestogen-only pill (POP or mini-pill) – the POP contains one hormone – progestogen – and does not contain any oestrogen. This pill is especially recommended if you are breastfeeding and if you cannot use the combined oral contraceptive pill for medical reasons. C ombined oral contraceptive pill – when you can start taking the pill depends on a few factors, but your midwife or nurse will help work out what is best for you. – If you’re not breastfeeding – you can start taking the pill 21 days after birth, but check with your midwife first. – If you’re partially breastfeeding – you can start taking the pill after six weeks. – If you’re fully breastfeeding – you can start taking the pill after six months. www.familyplanning.org.nz
In this section Chinese antenatal classes one year on A time of anticipation Coffee groups – lifesavers for parents
A new website for Parents Centre
Baby and You Find a Centre near you
Parents Centre is excited to be launching our brand-new website in September. Using state of the art technology we'll be showcasing features, articles, and information from pregnancy through the early years of parenting. Our fresh, new look website has been designed to be dynamic so it will be easy for you to view on a mobile phone or tablet. A handy new feature is an online booking system which will make joining antenatal and parent education classes so much simpler. The Kiwiparent website will be part of the new Parents Centre website and will become more user-friendly – locating and downloading back issues or accessing articles from previous issues will be simpler and more straightforward.
Great parents grow great kids
In the recent Kiwiparent survey 75% of respondents wanted to see Kiwiparent continue in print and 22% also wanted it to be readily accessible online. The new website meets this need for busy parents. From September, we invite you to bookmark www.parentscentre.org.nz – this will make it easy to return as often as you like to get new ideas and information on ways to parent your new pe-pi. We think you’re going to love it!
The magazine of Parents Centre Aotearoa
39
Chinese antenatal classes one year on It has been a year since Parents Centre offered its first childbirth education class to the Chinese community. We chat with one of the graduates, Linda Zheng, who shares her thoughts about her experiences. Nı̌ hǎo Linda. Thank you for agreeing to talk to us. Why did you decide to join childbirth education classes with other members of the Chinese community? I’m a new mum; as you know everything is new to me. I was quite nervous when I was pregnant, and I had no idea of how to give birth, how to look after a new baby, how to breastfeed… and a lot of other things that I never thought about. Actually, I had already booked an antenatal class at a nearby birth centre, but when I saw the Parents Centre Chinese classes advertised, you can’t imagine how happy I was! And the extra bonus was that it was free!
40
What was the most valuable thing (or things!) you got from your antenatal classes? The most valuable thing for me was to learn about what was going to happen before, during and after the labour. I knew ways to deal with my labour plan and what could go wrong, so both me and my husband wouldn’t panic if these things happened. Would you recommend these classes to other members of your community? Yes, definitely. I will recommend to every mum I know who hasn’t had the option of this kind of class to attend before. Do you stay in contact with other families that attended the classes? Yes, we have a little group via WeChat. We call each other classmates, and we still keep in contact with each other, sharing the experiences of raising our babies.
Did you find it helpful to have classes delivered in Chinese?
Anything else you would like to share with readers about your experience with your antenatal classes?
Oh, yes! Really, really helpful. Our Childbirth Educator, Amanda, was really professional, and the information she gave to us in the class was quite practical, not just book knowledge. The information we learnt from the class gave me a lot of confidence during my labour. Also, Amanda taught me how to communicate with my midwife and how to maximise my benefits. Apart from that, I think the class in Chinese is really good for Chinese mums, because we find a lot of professional words difficult to understand in the English class. This is why not many mums recommended I take an antenatal class in English. But it is lucky I tried this Chinese class, and I recommend it to the other Chinese mums I know.
I certainly understand what it feels like to be a new mum – nervous, excited, curious, afraid. But once you know enough about what is going to happen and if you already understand the options, you will enjoy the whole process and that special moment that comes at the time of birth.
kiwiparent
I would like to share my baby Ava and our family photos with you, I hope our happiness and good luck will pass to all the other Kiwiparent readers too.
Photo credit: Dannie Living Photography & More
A time of anticipation 亲爱的准妈妈准爸爸们你们好：
Dear Mums and Dads,
我是Amanda 刘，新西兰注册独立助产士。
Welcoming a new life is always full of anticipation, curiosity and concern. Getting through pregnancy smoothly and delivering a healthy baby is always the main target for pregnant women. For many families, it can be challenging to explore the medical systems in a new environment. Language and cultural differences can put more pressure on new parents. In the past year, Parents Centre has offered Chinese language antenatal classes to Chinese families. During these antenatal classes, families learn about:
迎接新生命的到来总是充满了期待，好奇和担忧。对于新 手妈妈，难免会有很多的疑惑，其中最是困扰的就是自己 如何顺利度过孕期和顺产。在新的环境慢慢的摸索不同国 家的医疗制度本就战战兢兢，外加语言和习俗上的困扰， 本就给准妈妈和准爸爸们带来了无形的困扰。 在过去的一年里，Parents Centre New Zealand为华人妈 妈们提供了中文的孕期产课，作为Hamilton地区的主讲 师，我每次都精心的备课。在课堂中，我们包含： • 对新西兰本地孕期的医疗系统的了解
New Zealand’s local pregnancy and medical system the various examinations during pregnancy
• 孕期相对应的检查
the signs and symptoms of labour
• 产程的详细解说
pain management options during childbirth
• 分娩时会用到的止痛方法
postpartum care for both mother and baby breastfeeding
• 产后护理 • 母乳喂养 在众多课后回馈中，几乎所有妈妈都感觉到产课的重要 性，她们认为产课不仅帮助她们更好的制定生产计划，而 且可以让她们对生产的过程更加的安心和放松。
After the classes finished, I received a lot of feedback from parents. Almost all the women felt it was important to attend the classes as they believed it not only helped them make better birth plans, but also allowed them to be more proactive and relaxed during their childbirth.
Amanda Liu Amanda is an independent midwife (LMC) and Parents Centre Childbirth Educator based in Hamilton. Amanda delivers childbirth education programmes for the Chinese community.
The magazine of Parents Centre Aotearoa
41
Coffee groups – lifesavers for parents Parents Centre has been providing antenatal classes for almost 70 years. The special thing about our classes is that, alongside the information and learning, the classes are facilitated in such a way that parents form connections which result in Parents Centre’s famous coffee groups! These coffee groups become lifesavers for new parents in the early months and provide opportunities to form great friendships not only for the parents, but the children form special friendships too. This year, Mother’s Day fell when the country was in lockdown and provided a great opportunity to honour those friendships and offer support to other families. Parents were invited to register their antenatal coffee group for The Big Coffee Group Catch Up on Parents Centre’s Facebook page, then schedule a call with their group. Our Big Coffee Group Catch Up celebrated the many, many, many coffee groups that have formed through our classes over the years. Here are some of the comments: “21 years ago, we met at Parents Centre antenatal classes in Hamilton. Over the years, some of us moved away but some of us became great friends and still make time to get together regularly and have called ourselves the Antenatal Gang! This year we had our Mother’s Day catch-up via Zoom and were delighted to have been chosen as one of the groups that won a post-lockdown coffee catch-up. All the women used to be committee members of Hamilton Parents Centre and I was also a past Regional Director as well as a National Board Member. These are such beautiful people – I feel very lucky to have met them through Parents Centre all those years ago.”
42
“I’ve had so much joy and support over the past five years from my mum friends that I met through Bumps and Bubs coffee group at Taieri Parents Centre back in 2015/16. Also love the fact that my wee girl is still friends with these bubbas now!” Tamsyn Arnold, Taieri Parents Centre “Our first son arrived prematurely a couple of days before our first antenatal classes were due to begin and during the eight weeks that he was in the NICU before he died, we got incredible support from our antenatal group, family and friends. A year later and nearly 20 years ago, we started our second antenatal class with Lower Hutt Parents Centre and have lived the most amazing journey with an awesome bunch of people who have shared many highs and lows as we welcomed our second son and supported each other through the early years of parenthood. There were regular coffee group catch-ups for the mums and the occasional beers and BBQs for us dads, along with annual gatherings to celebrate birthdays. Even when members of the group moved away the lifelong friendships have remained. When our daughters were born, we moved to Ka-piti and there were playgroups, music, ‘Little Wigglers’, committee responsibilities and new relationships at Ka-piti Parents Centre. Again, many deep friendships were facilitated by being part of the wider Parents Centre family.”
Lee Wilson, with friends Hayley Yorke, Karen Dashfield and Christine Troughton
Hamish Weir, Lower Hutt and Ka-piti Parents Centres
“All these babies are turning five this year. I met such a great bunch of mums through Nelson District Parents Centre. Nothing beats the friendships made in coffee groups and watching them grow together.”
“I’m grateful for my coffee group, and all the support we have given each other, from the newborn days to now big four-year-olds, whether it’s coffee group, play dates or girls’ night. Here is a snap from our fourth Birthday/ Christmas Party.”
Holly Ramsay, Nelson District Parents Centre
Nicola Deerness, Onewa Parents Centre
kiwiparent
Each edition of Kiwiparent profiles one of Parents Centre Aotearoa’s renowned parent education programmes.
This month the spotlight is on:
Baby and You Early parenthood is a life-changing experience into which we all go unrehearsed. The ‘Baby and You’ programme follows on from antenatal classes and offers sound tips and strategies as you begin your remarkable journey into parenthood. In your newborn child, you have a very special little individual who will grow and develop with your care and guidance. Contributing to the growth and development of your child can be hugely rewarding. To see your baby smile, play and grow – so helpless and dependent – can be an extraordinary experience. You will have feelings of tenderness and closeness and a sense of awe at the miracles of ‘first milestones’ – smiling, crawling, steps and games. But with a new baby come uncharted waters. Your tiny bundle may rule the entire household through his routines, sleep patterns and behaviours. This can be very challenging. Many parents, particularly new mums, find the information and support in the ‘Baby and You’ programme extremely helpful in managing the challenges, and making the most of the rewards, that a new baby brings into their life.
For example, what are some successful infant feeding practices? How do you handle other people’s often well-meaning advice about feeding? There are often very simple strategies for coping, and discussing issues as they arise is often the first step to successful feeding. Discovering that other new parents experience similar difficulties or have the same questions can be hugely supportive. Babies grow quickly, and they go through a variety of stages. ‘Baby and You’ explores the first three months of your baby’s life and gives practical information about stimulation for babies, age-appropriate toys and the key milestones of your baby’s growth. The programme also recognises the heavy demands babies have on parents’ time and attention. It is common for parents to feel a loss of independence, a huge lack of sleep, and worries around employment and financial changes. Included is a section on self-care strategies for parents – it’s a challenging time and let’s not forget to meet the needs of mum and dad. Participating in the ‘Baby and You’ programme will give you the much-needed tools over those first uncertain months to enable you to grow in confidence. Your baby, and you, will benefit enormously.
Parents Centre Aotearoa believes strongly in the strength of support networks in getting through – and enjoying! – those early months. Firm friendships are often formed between course participants, through shared experiences and understandings. Discussion topics include issues around postnatal realities, identifying physical, emotional and relationship changes.
The magazine of Parents Centre Aotearoa
43
Find a Centre near you Parents Centres span the entire country, with 47 locations around New Zealand. Contact your local Centre for details of programmes and support available in your area, or go to:
www.parentscentre.org.nz
North Island Auckland Region 1 Wha-nga-rei WaitemataBays North Harbour Hibiscus Coast - newa O
Bay of Plenty Tauranga Whakata-ne Rotorua TaupoTaranaki
Auckland Region 2
New Plymouth
Auckland East
Stratford
Papakura
South Taranaki
Manukau
East Coast North Island
Franklin
Central Hawke’s Bay
Auckland Region 3
Hawke’s Bay
West Auckland
Central Districts
Central Auckland
Palmerston North
East & Bays
Wairarapa
Waikato Thames-Hauraki
Wellington Ka-piti
Morrinsville
Lower Hutt
Hamilton
Mana
Cambridge Pu-ta-ruru - torohanga O
Upper Hutt Wellington North Wellington South
South Island Northern South Island Nelson Marlborough Greymouth Canterbury Region Ashburton Christchurch Timaru Oamaru Southern Region Alexandra Balclutha Dunedin Gore Taieri
44
kiwiparent
Great parents
grow great kids
Arm yourself with knowledge as you grow as a parent alongside your child, by taking part in one of the Parents Centre programmes that run nationwide. Having a new baby is a time of significant change – your brain is working overtime with questions and your body is going through amazing changes. It’s quite a journey. Parents Centre has been supporting parents for almost 70 years. Become a member of Parents Centre and we can support you too! You’ll get access to quality pregnancy, childbirth and parent education that will help you gain invaluable knowledge on your pregnancy, childbirth and early parenting journey. It’s a great way to meet other new parents who are on the same journey as you. They often become lifelong friends. You get support through coffee groups that meet on a regular basis, and ongoing education programmes to help you navigate the stages of pregnancy and parenthood. With 47 Centres nationwide, we provide many opportunities for social engagement for both parents and children. Many of our Centres offer playgroups and music classes, and these are a great way to learn with your children while you get to socialise with other parents at the same time.
You also gain skills and experience that will be a real asset when you decide to rejoin the workforce. We look forward to having you join our Parents Centre family and supporting you on your parenting journey! Early Pregnancy – a special programme tailored for your 12th to 24th weeks of pregnancy. Pregnancy, Childbirth and Parent Education (Antenatal) – essential information to prepare you for childbirth and early parenting. Baby and You – practical and sensible tips and advice for enjoying and making the most of those first months with your newborn. Parenting with Purpose – consciously focusing on how you want to parent and how your child ticks. Return to Work – advice on preparing for and returning to the paid workforce. Magic Moments – strategies for positive communication and discipline with your child. Moving and Munching – exploring baby’s first foods and developmental stages.
As a Parents Centre member you will receive loads of free giveaways and samples, as well as special discount shopping days, and discounted products and services exclusive to Parents Centre members. Who doesn’t love freebies and discounts?
Music and Movement – stimulating music activities for your baby and toddler.
Many of our members gain so much from being Parents Centre members that they want to ‘give back’ and become volunteers for their local Centres, ensuring that new parents can continue to benefit from the skills, knowledge, friendships and support they’ve received.
www.parentscentre.org.nz
Tinies to Tots – positively encouraging your emerging adventurous toddler.
The magazine of Parents Centre Aotearoa
45
Feeling sluggish? ...you might have an underactive thyroid
If you’ve been feeling sluggish for ages and can’t figure out why, you could be one of the 2% of people who have an underactive thyroid gland. The thyroid is located in our neck, just below the Adam’s apple, and it plays an essential role in maintaining our bodily functions. The thyroid uses iodine to manufacture two hormones – known as thyroxine (T4) and triiodothyronine (T3). T4 and T3 are released into the blood stream in response to a surge of TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone), a hormone produced in the pituitary gland in the brain, and circulate round the body regulating our metabolism.
Common… but insidious Disorders of the thyroid gland are surprisingly common, but typically are quite insidious in nature – this
46
kiwiparent
means the symptoms, although often eventually very impacting, can come on slowly and mimic lots of other conditions. Patients will often describe having had symptoms for years, but explaining them away with “I’m just tired, or unfit”. In those situations, diagnosis and treatment often bring huge relief and a renewed energy for life. There are two main types of thyroid disorder – underactivity, known as hypothyroidism, and overactivity, known as hyperthyroidism. The following relates to hypothyroidism, which is by far the more common of the two. In terms of prevalence, we know that women are around ten times more likely than men to suffer from an underactive thyroid and, although it can come on during childhood (and rarely be present from birth), it gets much more common as we age.
Understanding the risk factors Aside from being female, and ageing, the other risk factors for developing an underactive thyroid include: Iodine deficiency – in certain parts of the world (especially in developing countries) this is incredibly common, and globally is the biggest cause of thyroid disease. Living or being born in Japan – Japanese people have higher rates of autoimmune thyroid disease. Having Down syndrome (trisomy 21) or Turner syndrome. Being on certain medication can increase your risk of getting thyroid issues – these include amiodarone (a blood pressure medication), lithium (a mood
“It’s far better to know about a thyroid issue early on than suffer from symptoms for years before finding out, by which stage it will be harder to reverse the damage to your body.” – Dr Cathy Stephenson
www.kathyfray.com
Get empowered peace-of-mind with your own copy of NZ’s No.1 best-selling Birth & Babies book since 2005!
They include: weight gain and fluid retention constipation dry skin and hair general body aches feeling cold mental ‘slowing down’, which can include poor memory and impaired concentration, especially in elderly people irregular or heavy periods
Feel Childbirth confidence with your own copy of my FREE download guide to Labour and Birth
loss of libido stabiliser) and drugs used to treat thyroid overactivity. Being pregnant – around 2.5% of women will develop an underactive thyroid while they are pregnant, and even greater numbers will have a transient episode of ‘underactivity’ in the six months after their baby is born; these don’t all go on to become permanent thyroid problems, but can mean you are at increased risk of this in the future. Having certain other ‘autoimmune’ conditions, such as vitiligo, diabetes, coeliac, pernicious anaemia or Addison’s disease. Although tiredness seems to be almost universal in people with an underactive thyroid, the other symptoms can vary a lot.
infertility low mood and even, for some people, depression carpal tunnel syndrome (numbness, pain and tingling in the hands, particularly at night) Although only a tiny number of people in New Zealand are born with hypothyroidism, this is actually a common way for it to present in less developed countries, particularly where there is a high prevalence of iodine deficiency. As our rates of iodine are pretty good, we don’t tend to see this here, but do see lots of hypothyroidism resulting from other causes in older people. The most common causes include: Autoimmune thyroiditis – in this condition, our body starts to develop antibodies against the thyroid gland and gradually destroy it, rendering it underactive, and eventually
Continued overleaf...
Described by many as the best infant sleep-secure ever designed, the MotherWise Babe-Sleeper is made with a loving blend of modern and old-fashioned wisdom.
Day-1-Baby Heirloom Layette Bit unsure of the difference between correctly dressing a 1-Day-Old versus a 1-Month-Old? Own the perfect award-winning organic merino outfit for your precious brand new Baby
www.rootswings.com 47
The magazine of Parents Centre Aotearoa
Find out more www.healthnavigator.org.nz www.dermnetnz.org www.diabetes.org.nz
Depending on the cause of your thyroid problem, your doctor may suggest some more tests (such as an ultrasound scan or needle biopsy if you have a goitre), and occasionally might recommend you see a hormone specialist, known as an Endocrinologist.
inactive if left untreated. This condition is linked to other autoimmune conditions, as mentioned above. If it is associated with a goitre (a swelling of the thyroid gland that is often visible to the naked eye), it is called Hashimoto’s thyroiditis. ‘Latrogenic’ hypothyroidism – this includes a range of things that can permanently damage the thyroid gland and impair its function, eg radiotherapy, surgery or radioiodine treatment (used to treat an overactive thyroid). Certain drugs as mentioned above can also impact on the functioning of the thyroid gland. Infiltration of the thyroid, which can occur in conditions like amyloidosis and sarcoidosis. ‘Secondary’ causes of hypothyroidism, which include things that affect the pituitary in the brain (and hence interrupt the production of thyroidstimulating hormone) like tumours, radiation therapy or infection. If you are concerned that you may have one or more of the symptoms above – and it’s not improving with
48
kiwiparent
time, please consider asking your doctor for a thyroid blood test. This is such a simple check to do and will give you an answer within a few days. It’s far better to know about a thyroid issue early on than suffer from symptoms for years before finding out, by which stage it will be harder to reverse the damage to your body. If left untreated, people with underactive thyroid issues are at higher risk of heart disease and elevated cholesterol levels.
However, for the majority of uncomplicated cases, treatment simply involves topping up your thyroxine levels with a synthetic version of T4. Typically, the dose needs to be gradually titrated upwards, guided by regular blood tests, but once you are on a stable dose, you will likely remain on this for life. From a doctor’s point of view, detecting and treating hypothyroidism is one of the more rewarding things we get to do – people genuinely feel so much better on treatment and, sadly, I can assure you that’s not always the case with other health issues.
Dr Cathy Stephenson Dr Cathy Stephenson is mum to three teenage children and is a GP in Wellington. She is part of the Mauri Ora Outreach Team at Victoria University of Wellington, looking after Ma-ori, Pasifika, international and gender-diverse students. Cathy is passionate about empowering young people to be the best they can be. One of her special areas of interest is mental health and wellbeing. This article was originally published on Stuff and is reprinted with permission.
“Great, easy to use carrier. Bought the Beco carrier when my boy was 4 months old. He loves being in it. Is easy to put on and comfortable to wear. He feels nice and secure in it”
BECO 8 CARRIER
5-Star rated must-haves & sleep essentials
Specialist range of carriers & accessories
Thyroid disease in pregnancy If you have an overactive thyroid (hyperthyroidism) or underactive thyroid (hypothyroidism), you’ll need some extra care and monitoring while you’re pregnant to keep you and your baby well.
Yogasleep Hushh & Crane humidifiers
“I highly recommend this pump! The silicone lining on the Crane pump makes it super soft and comfortable. I also LOVE the fact that it is rechargeable so I can use it anywhere!”
CRANE BREAST PUMP
Overactive thyroid You have a normal chance of becoming pregnant as long as your overactive thyroid is controlled. It’s best not to become pregnant while you’re being treated for an overactive thyroid. The medicines can harm a baby’s thyroid gland. But if you get pregnant, it’s important to keep taking your medicine. Your GP will arrange for you to see a specialist, who’ll work out what dose of medicine will control your overactive thyroid while reducing the risk to your baby. After you’ve finished treatment, you’ll have a normal chance of becoming pregnant. You’ll need to have regular thyroid blood tests while you’re pregnant. Unlike other women, you won’t need to take iodine supplements while pregnant because they could make your overactive thyroid worse. You can’t have a nuclear medicine scan or radioiodine treatment while you’re pregnant, as they aren’t safe for your baby.
Underactive thyroid If you have an underactive thyroid (hypothyroidism), you’ll need regular blood tests when planning a pregnancy and through your pregnancy. It’s important that you have the right dose of thyroxine for both you and your baby. If you don’t have enough thyroxine, you could have problems such as anaemia (not enough red blood cells), heart failure, problems with the placenta or bleeding after delivery.
Bumkins feeding & reusables
Award-winning natural fibre wool & cotton bedding
Member only savings! Parents Centre members can can get exclusive discounts on selected styles from The Sleep Store! Go to thesleepstore.co.nz/content/parents-centre for further details & start saving today!
Most women need to take a higher dose of thyroxine while they’re pregnant then go back to their normal dose once their baby is born. Written by HealthInfo clinical advisers. www.healthinfo.org.nz
Free expert sleep advice & New Zealand’s best infant sleep & parenting essentials.
thesleepstore.co.nz facebook.com/SleepStore
The magazine of Parents Centre Aotearoa instagram.com/thesleepstore
49
Finding a
village I often stand at the front of my class at the beginning of night one and think to myself: “These people... they don’t know it yet, but they are about to become closer to one another than they ever could have expected.” I don’t mean in a sense that they will be bonded by the fact they have had to watch the same birthing video and are forever changed by that potentially horrifying experience; I mean in a way that is often overlooked by many when discussing the pros and cons of attending childbirth education classes. The bond the expectant and new parents form with one another through the classes we offer sets them up with a support network that they will value for many, many years. Seeing these relationships form and strengthen over time, to me, is the most satisfying part of being a Childbirth Educator.
50
kiwiparent
My own experience with childbirth education classes is what drove me to become a Childbirth Educator. I look back at the classes I attended (heck, it’s been eight years!) and in terms of the content, I’ll be brutally honest, it wasn’t great, not even a little bit. Unfortunately, the classes I attended all those years ago weren’t Parents Centre classes and I will definitely say I learnt how not to facilitate a childbirth education class from these sessions. I’m proud to say that the classes I offer now are incredibly positive and encouraging, just the way they should be! I remember sitting there night after night, wondering why people did this to themselves. Why would ANYONE want to get pregnant if this is what they have to endure? While I remember this feeling well, there is something that has stuck with me more than the fear of pooping during the pushing stage.
“Many of my new parents have said that lockdown would have had a hugely negative impact on their mental health if it weren’t for the village they had created within their antenatal groups. They were all in this together.” – Lacey White
Dads benefit too
An unexpected bonus The people I met and the friends I made were the unexpected bonus I never could have imagined. In saying that, I don’t think you could have found a group more diverse – a group of people who would have likely never found themselves together in the same room, if it weren’t for us all having ovulated and subsequently fertilised an egg around the same four-week period. We quickly came to realise, however, despite our reservations about having to spend six Tuesday evenings with what we all thought was a bunch of weirdos, that it was our differences that brought us together. Our wide-ranging personalities and *ahem* ‘quirks’ really highlighted the different approaches we all have towards our pregnancy and parenting journeys. We engaged in conversations and friendly debates and it widened our views and perspectives on how to keep our kids alive after they were born. While we may not have agreed with each other all of the time, we bounced ideas around the group and it truly was invaluable to have these people around when maybe our own approach to this whole baby thing may not have been as effective as we had hoped. These people became my sanity savers and I knew that if I ever needed someone to complain to about my husband snoring beside me while I sat up all night to breastfeed, or to make sure the colour and consistency of my baby’s poop were normal, they would be there to tell me they had been wondering exactly the same thing.
It isn’t just the mums who benefit from these classes either. I absolutely adore watching the dads coming into the classes and leaving with a completely different appreciation for the pregnancy and childbirth experience. In the beginning it often feels as though the expectant mums may have dragged them along against their will and the looks on their faces as they look around the room at one another scream “save me from this hell”. However, after a few light-hearted jokes about mucus plugs and where to find them (definitely not in the plumbing section at your local hardware store) they tend to ease in and are often more excited to come along week after week. By week six, catch-ups at the pub are often planned and the men have formed friendships that last a lifetime. What can bring a group of men together more than exchanging ideas about how the heck they are going to survive the weepiness of baby blues and the profanities they will likely have to listen to during the transitional stage of labour? Nothing. Not even having their heads between each other’s legs in the middle of a rugby scrum will bring men together quite like a childbirth education class can. The changes these men experience in their lives after their babies arrive are immense and often underappreciated by many. Much of the fuss is directed towards mum and baby and they form their ‘village’. Men need a village too and it’s within these classes that they often find it.
Continued overleaf...
The magazine of Parents Centre Aotearoa
51
“We are all dependent on one another, every soul of us on Earth.” – George Bernard Shaw
created within their antenatal groups. They were all in this together (cue High School Musical flashbacks) and it was so humbling to see these individuals, who only a matter of weeks before had been absolute strangers to one another, come together in a way that they never could have imagined that they would have to.
I love my job Connections are important The importance of the connections that these new parents make through the classes that we offer, both pre and postnatal, has become abundantly clear to me in recent months as we muddled our way through the COVID-19 outbreak. As these parents become isolated within their homes and bubbles, the thought of raising a newborn without the physical support from family and friends became incredibly daunting. At first many felt they were in this on their own, simply learning on the job and hoping for the best. It was important to me to ensure that my groups, both recently graduated and wading their way unremittingly through the newborn phase as well as those attending classes via Zoom, were reminded that, while they may be alone, they are in this alone together. They had all been thrown into this unimaginable situation together and the best they could do was survive it. Lockdown took a toll on many of us, but there was solace in knowing that, despite the physical distance, class attendees still had the technology that allowed them to keep those connections strong. Many groups used apps such as WhatsApp and Zoom to stay connected. Many of my new parents have said that lockdown would have had a hugely negative impact on their mental health if it weren’t for the village they had
52
kiwiparent
I love my job, I really do. I may end up doing this for the rest of my life. What started as a hobby has quickly become a passion. Facilitating these groups, seeing them immerse themselves into the course content week after week and following their journeys into parenthood makes my heart swell. I’ve had many proud teacher moments over my career so far and I’m sure there are going to be many, many more in the years to come. I know that by being a part of Parents Centre, I’m making a positive impact on many new and expectant parents and that makes me happier than a milk-drunk baby.
Lacey White Lacey is mum to three beautiful girls aged eight, five and two. She started her childbirth education training at Dunedin Parents Centre almost five years ago and her first babies are heading to school. She is currently based in Auckland and facilitates classes for three fantastic Centres around the region – she loves every minute of it!
Research shows that going to sleep on your side from 28 weeks of pregnancy halve your risk of stillbirth compared with sleeping on your back. Why should I go to sleep on my side? Lying on your back in the last three months of pregnancy (from 28 weeks) presses on major blood vessels which can reduce blood flow to your womb and oxygen supply to your baby.
Is it best to go to sleep on my left or right side? You can settle to sleep on either the left or the right side – any side is good from 28 weeks of pregnancy.
SLEEP ON SIDE WHEN BABY’S INSIDE
FROM 28 WEEKS OF PREGNANCY Research shows that going to sleep on www.sleeponside.org.nz your side from 28 weeks of pregnancy halve your risk of stillbirth compared with sleeping on your back. Why should I go to sleep on my side? Lying on your back in the last three months of pregnancy (from 28 weeks) presses on major blood vessels which can reduce blood flow to your womb and oxygen supply to your baby.
Is it best to go to sleep on my left or right side? You can settle to sleep on either the left or the right side – any side is good from 28 weeks of pregnancy.
But what if I feel more comfortable going to sleep on my back? Going to sleep on your back is not best for baby after 28 weeks of pregnancy. Most women find side sleeping is more comfortable in pregnancy, especially in the last three months.
What if I wake up on my back?
But what if I feel more comfortable going to sleep on my back? Going to sleep on your back is not best for baby after 28 weeks of pregnancy. Most women find side sleeping is more comfortable in pregnancy, especially in the last three months.
What if I wake up on my back? It’s normal to change position during sleep and many pregnant women wake up on their back. The important thing is to start every sleep (daytime naps and going to bed at night) lying on your side and settle back to sleep on your side if you wake up.
What is the risk of stillbirth if I go to sleep on my back? Stillbirth in the last three months of pregnancy affects about one in every 500 babies. However, research has confirmed that going to sleep on your side halves your risk of stillbirth compared with sleeping on your back.
SLEEP ONON SIDE SLEEP SIDE WHEN BABY’S INSIDE WHEN BABY’S INSIDE SLEEP ON SIDE FROMFROM 28 WEEKS OF PREGNANCY 28 WEEKS OF PREGNANCY WHEN BABY’S For more information please INSIDE contact your midwife, nurse or28 doctor. www.sleeponside.org.nz www.sleeponside.org.nz FROM WEEKS OF PREGNANCY
www.sleeponside.org.nz www.sleeponside.org.nz The magazine of Parents Centre Aotearoa
53
Lose yourself in a
good story
54
kiwiparent
Book reviews
If ever there was a time that children needed the escape of stories, 2020 is it. This year’s finalists in the New Zealand Book Awards for Children and Young Adults showcase an abundance of incredible storytelling for Kiwi kids to enjoy. The finalist books open their pages to make room for lots of much-needed joy, says convenor of judges Jane Arthur. “They offer children whole worlds to explore and lose themselves in, which is crucial when there is so much uncertainty in their own. There are ponies, spies, communities, myths and, as always, a quest for identity – both our country’s and the characters’.” The range of names on the shortlist speaks to the depth of talent in New Zealand, from debut writers
through to superstars like Joy Cowley, Gavin Bishop, Donovan Bixley and Stacy Gregg. Children are also well served by books that shine a light on the world around them and help them make sense of it. “They might be creating books for children, but these authors and illustrators are unafraid to tackle difficult topics – big things like jealousy and the unhappy impact of colonisation on tangata whenua and nature,” says Jane.
Finalists in the Picture Book Award Big questions, a cheeky hero, petulant ponies, Christmas catastrophes and a Kiwi classic all compete to take out the top honours in this popular category.
discover the origins of the universe. Abigail and the Birth of the Sun captures the child-like wonder of big questions and big possibilities. Swirling dreamlike illustrations complement the text excellently and leave little treasures for the reader to discover.
About Matthew and Sarah
Abigail and the Birth of the Sun Published by Puffin, Penguin Random House
Written by Matthew Cunningham and illustrated by Sarah Wilkins
Is it a book about science? Or magic? Or family? Yes, yes, and yes! This is a beautiful story about a curious child who goes on an adventure with her father to
Matthew Cunningham is a passionate and dedicated historian with a Doctor of Philosophy (History) from Victoria University of Wellington. He lives in Porirua and works as a researcher. Abigail and the Birth of the Sun is his first published children’s book. Sarah Wilkins was born in Lower Hutt. The middle child of seven, she dreamt of becoming a solo explorer. Dreaming and drawing, which she loved, go together, so she became an illustrator instead. Sarah works for clients all around the globe and has won many awards for her work. She lives in Wellington.
Continued overleaf... The magazine of Parents Centre Aotearoa
55
Book reviews
How Ma-ui Slowed the Sun
Mini Whinny: Goody Four-Shoes Published by Scholastic New Zealand
Published by Upstart Press Written by Stacy Gregg and illustrated by Ruth Paul Retold and illustrated by Donovan Bixley, advised and translated by Darryn Joseph and Keri Opai The familiar myth of how Ma-ui slowed the sun is given a modern twist, with humour injected into this quintessential New Zealand story to lend it a new, friendly and fun appeal. Donovan Bixley’s illustrations burst with life and colour, with vivid settings and characters that are detailed and full of personality, and an almost-cartoonish quality which is ultimately appealing and endearing.
About Donovan Donovan Bixley is one of New Zealand’s most acclaimed picture book creators, with over 120 titles published in 31 countries. His books have been twice selected for the International Youth Library’s White Raven award, which annually lists the top 200 children’s books in the world. His books are nothing if not varied, spanning high-brow to low-brow and every brow in between.
Mini Whinny may be grubby, petulant and more than a little bit naughty, but we can all empathise with her jealousy over the new arrival at Blackthorn Stables. This gentle tale of envy, misperception and friendship is perfectly paced, with cliff-hangers on nearly every page and delightful dialogue and humour. The cute illustrations capture all Mini Whinny’s big emotions in a way that is sure to make readers of all ages smile.
About Stacy and Ruth Stacy Gregg dreamed as a young girl of being both a horse rider and a writer when she grew up and is now the internationally acclaimed author of 23 much-loved junior fiction titles – all about horses! Three of her books have won Children’s Choice at the NZ Book Awards and she has been widely published internationally. Ruth Paul is an award-winning author and illustrator. Her books have been published in New Zealand, Australia, the UK, the US, Canada, China and Korea. Ruth lives near Wellington, where she and her family reside in an environmentally friendly house, with straw-bale walls and water-generated power.
56
kiwiparent
Book reviews
The Gobbledegook Book Published by Gecko Press
Written by Joy Cowley and illustrated by Giselle Clarkson
Santa’s Worst Christmas Published by Huia Publishers
Written by Pania Tahau-Hodges and Bryony Walker and illustrated by Isobel Joy Te Aho-White
With some good old Kiwi caring and ingenuity, an extended wha-nau saves the day for Santa and everyone else. Bursting with joy and packed with unique writing ideas – from hilarious letters to Santa to alarming newspaper articles – this book will appeal to both young readers and the more sophisticated Santa fans. The vivid illustrations are packed with detail and are sure to lead to new laughs every time this book is read.
Some of Joy Cowley’s best short stories and poems for children are brought together in one artfully presented anthology. Giselle Clarkson’s energetic illustrations perfectly capture the hilarity, joy and spirit of Cowley’s unparalleled word painting, humour and playful rhymes. Beautifully designed and well selected, each piece feels like its own adventure. This fresh collection is sure to spark the creative juices of many future writers.
About Joy and Giselle
About Isobel This book has been written by a team at Huia Publishers. The illustrator is Isobel Joy Te Aho-White (Nga-ti Kahungunu, Nga-i Tahu), who is a freelance graphic artist and illustrator. Isobel studied design at the Whanganui School of Design and Massey University and uses both digital and traditional media. She specialises in symbolism and metaphor, and her work is influenced by mythology and folk tales, botanical illustration and life experience.
Joy Cowley is one of New Zealand’s best-loved writers for children and adults, with an international reputation. She has won a multitude of awards and honours for her bestselling books, including the Prime Minister’s Award for contribution to literature. She was shortlisted for the Hans Christian Andersen Award in 2018. Giselle Clarkson is a freelance illustrator and comic artist. She is best known for her illustrations for conservation and environmental projects, and of biscuits – ‘Common Household Biscuits & Slices of New Zealand’ was a viral hit. She lives in Wellington.
The magazine of Parents Centre Aotearoa
57
Get the latest
looks
Decorating with Resene
58
kiwiparent
One exciting aspect of a pregnancy is getting ready for the arrival of your wee one, and in a stage that is officially known as ‘nesting’, many parents will be especially keen to set up a bedroom for their baby. Traditional colours focus on pale blue and pink, and while there’s certainly nothing wrong with either of these, there are plenty more options available. Other colours are more gender-neutral like yellows and greens or purples and reds. The main thing to remember is that the nursery is the room you get to have the most fun decorating. Don’t be afraid to stick with nice and neutral or go bold and go bright – let out your inner child and do what makes you happy. If you can’t decide on just one paint colour, pick a few and incorporate them together as a palette. Stripes, spots and patterns are all exciting ways you can bring new life to that old study you’re converting into a room for baby. Choose Resene SpaceCote Low Sheen for an easy clean finish for walls – it won’t be long before that cute baby will be a cute toddler with messy fingers!
The stretching action of painting can cause extra strain when you’re pregnant, so the best idea is to choose the colours and paint and get someone else to do the painting for you if you’re tackling large wall or ceiling areas. You can safely focus on the smaller projects.
Create a modern kid’s room Once upon a time, it was fairies and princesses for girls and robots and trucks for boys. Many of our children will still gravitate towards classic looks and colours, stamp their size threes and insist on pink from top to bottom, or a fleet of spaceships whizzing around a galaxy of planets suspended from the ceiling. The latest animated movie will always be an influencer and there will no doubt be plenty of related merchandise for sale to fill their rooms. But there are now so many more options available when it comes to theming kids’ rooms, thanks in part to the world of Instagram and Pinterest, but also because many parents are choosing a less gender-specific route. Currently finding favour are more whimsical themes using gender-neutral and softer colours. Look to the sky – clouds, stars and rainbows are popular. Animals are big
Continued overleaf...
The magazine of Parents Centre Aotearoa
59
What to do if you’re renting As any renter will know, most landlords aren’t lenient enough to let you decorate at will. In this case, you’re usually stuck with the wall colours that were there when you moved in, and there’s no way of changing that without buying a home of your own. In the meantime, one creative way of getting around this is to paint existing or old furniture with cute and exciting new colours to give the room some vibrancy and delight. Resene testpots are ideal for painting photo frames, ornaments and canvases. It will be much easier to get all the redecorating sorted well before the birth, because once bubba comes along you probably won’t have much spare time to deal with paints, colours and wallpapers!
with cutesy bunnies everywhere along with monkeys, pussycats, owls and foxes. Think wild and safari rather than farmyard. Nostalgic themes are perennially popular, with teddy bears, Bambi-like fawns, fairies and elves, choo-choo trains and hot air balloons. Anchor the theme with a feature piece. This might be a favourite picture or poster, a striking duvet or a cool bedhead, then build everything else off that. Tepees and tents are a must-have bedroom accessory, along with bunk beds, hidey-hole huts and mosquitonetted beds.
Current colour trends When it comes to colour, strong primary colours have taken a back seat for many. It’s now softly, softly with creamy whites and dove greys as a background joined by pastel shades of icy aqua, blush pink, delicate blue, soft apple green, custard yellow and lavender. If you’re wary of committing the room to an over-thetop look and want more flexibility, a warm neutral wall colour can be accessorised with pops of colour. Many baby rooms are being fully decked out in neutral shades
60
kiwiparent
Make sure you don’t use oil- or lead-based paint if you’re pregnant. Pregnant women should paint with a window open and eat and drink in a different room while the paint is being applied and is drying.
of creams, warm greys and accented with charcoals. For a stronger look, go for elements in black, or a scheme of inky navy.
Get creative with paint A child’s room is a great place to get a bit creative with paint. Create a house or tepee shape on the wall or be more adventurous with the outline of a rabbit’s or cat’s head, or the side profile of a pony. Painted headboards look particularly good and are easy to change out. If the situation calls for it – or your child insists upon it – don’t be afraid to go all-out with paint colour or
a particular wallpaper. The good thing about both of these is that they are easily and relatively cheaply changed out as your child ages and their tastes change, or if you want to use that room for another purpose like a guest room or study.
Top tip If you involve the kids in the choices for the room, or for babies get their older siblings to help, you can also involve them in the decorating process and make it a fun family project.
Other themes to try: B ring outside in – paint the room to look like an outdoor area with a garden, mountain scape or desert island. G o sporty and tailor the space around a favourite sport or team.
Continued overleaf...
Let your ideas loose all over your walls with Resene Write-on Wall Paint.
Get
! g n i t i r w
Simply apply over your existing light coloured wall paint. Then once dry and cured you can use whiteboard markers to write all over the wall without damaging the surface. And when it’s time to delete an idea just grab a soft cloth or whiteboard eraser, rub out the marker and start again. With Resene Write-on Wall Paint there’s no limit to your ideas.
The magazine of Parents Centre Aotearoa
0800 RESENE (737 363)
www.resene.co.nz
61
Try these projects Sun and cloud bookends Rain or shine, you and your kids will never get tired of looking at these cheerful bookends.
T ake things under the sea with graduated blue walls and a ceiling covered in sea creatures. P ick a favourite toy or cartoon character and build a world around them. T ake a trip and bring a space scene or favourite place they’ve always dreamed of visiting into their bedroom. W hat about a circus, a pirate ship or a fairytale castle?
62
kiwiparent
Download the templates from the habitat by Resene website, www.habitatbyresene.co.nz/habitat-tv/ create-with-paint/diy-suncloud-bookends and trace the shapes onto plywood with a pencil (or draw your own) before cutting them out. Cut arched shapes to cover up the vertical side of the metal bookends. We used Resene colours Quarter Frozen, Bali Hai and Undercurrent for the clouds; Mellow Yellow, Laser and Pirate Gold for the sun; and Undercurrent and Pirate Gold for the arches, but you can choose your favourite colours. Once your paint has dried, use a hot glue gun to glue the smallest cloud on top of the medium cloud, aligning the corners, then glue the medium cloud on top of the largest cloud. Do the same with the sun, stacking and gluing the smaller quarter-circle onto the larger one, then onto the rays. Using quick bond glue, adhere your arches onto the front face of the bookends, then apply glue to the vertical edge of the stacked clouds and stick it to the centre of the arch painted in Undercurrent. Do the same for the sun, adhering it to the centre of the arch that is painted in Pirate Gold. Allow your bookends to dry overnight to ensure the glue has set completely before using them.
Make a mobile A popular nursery accessory of the 1950s, mobiles are making a comeback. Start by cutting a classic scalloped cloud and a dozen or so raindrop shapes out of your sheet of plywood. Then, using a power drill, make holes in the tops of each of your raindrops, the top of your cloud and a line of holes across the bottom of your cloud – we made five holes along the bottom. Paint your cloud and raindrops using Resene testpots in your favourite colours – we used Eighth Thorndon Cream for our cloud and Vintage, Just Right, Quarter Frozen, Thor, Safehaven, Laser and Sandal for our raindrops. You can even paint patterns onto some of your raindrops, if you wish. We gave some of ours stripes and others ticks. Using sparkly silver string – though twine, thread, wool or ribbon will do the trick too – thread through the holes of your raindrops, knotting them on at even intervals before knotting the end to one of the holes in the bottom of the cloud. Then, thread a long length of string through the top hole in your cloud, knotting it securely. Hang your mobile from your ceiling using the appropriate hardware and high enough that it will be safely out of reach of little hands.
Did you know… ...that Resene has a children’s colour chart specifically designed with a range of bright to pastel colours. Ask for the Resene KidzColour chart at your local Resene ColorShop and also pick up a free copy of the Habitat Plus – kids’ spaces book, which is full of ideas for children’s rooms from nursery to teen.
Find out more For more colour, paint and wallpaper advice and inspiration see your Resene ColorShop, www.resene.co.nz/colorshops. Or shop online, shop.resene.co.nz
The magazine of Parents Centre Aotearoa
63
Time for dads to be
awesome Lockdown living with my two-year-old
My wife is a preschool teacher and has endless amounts of activities to keep a toddler busy, but lockdown was a great time for me to step in and do fun dad stuff. As parents discovered during lockdown, you were in the same house, with the same people, doing the same stuff for a long time. If some of those people are small serial spillers with an insatiable appetite for play time then it could be challenging to find new ways to keep them entertained. Older kids had online learning to do or were happy to be left to amuse themselves. Preschoolers don’t typically spend hours in a room by themselves productively doing puzzles, messaging friends and rewatching episodes of Brooklyn 99. If that does sound like your under-five, then you need to contact Harvard University ASAP and secure that scholarship early. Preschoolers are generally a little bit more work. This is when dads get to be awesome and spend time entertaining and going on adventures with the little energiser bunny you call your toddler.
64
kiwiparent
Mums can do all the things dads can do, of course, but there’s something special about the way that dads do stuff. For example, dads are a prime asset on playground visits. They are the ones who set new records for the highest you can push a child on a swing. Dads are the first ones to let the preschooler mix their own drink at the free refill station. Even though dads are usually the ones to overestimate how far a toddler can ride a bike and underestimate how many snacks to bring, dads found they had a lot more time to hone their parenting skills with their preschoolers during lockdown. These mini versions of ourselves are pretty adorable, so almost anything you do with them is enjoyable if you’re just soaking in the moment. However, you can really
start losing enthusiasm for singing Wheels on the Bus after 8,000 repeats. Lockdown certainly upped the quantity of time we had together, but that didn’t automatically mean it was quality time. The magic happens when you do stuff that both dad and toddler enjoy. Here are some tried and tested ideas that entertain both preschoolers and dads.
Go outside every single day The easiest way for a dad to entertain a preschooler is to take them outside every day. Little people need to burn energy so that when it’s time to sleep they are absolutely wrecked and can’t summon the energy to demand another story. Preschoolers are a bit like dogs.
(Hear me out before you judge me. I can already tell people are offended at this comparison because it’s not fair on dogs.) You only need to say “walk” or jingle the keys and open the door – they’ll immediately sprint around in circles knocking things over and run out the door with a leash in their mouth. And often toddlers will do the exact same thing. And you don’t need to wait for a sunny day. The hardy Scandinavians have an inspiring expression: there’s no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothes. Bury them in layers of clothing (your kids that is, not the Scandinavians) and go out on an adventure, whatever the weather. This could include biking, skateboarding, running races, scavenger hunts, rolling around on the grass or playing fetch – I mean throwing a ball around.
Continued overleaf... The magazine of Parents Centre Aotearoa
65
These mini versions of ourselves are pretty adorable, so almost anything you do with them is enjoyable if you’re just soaking in the moment.
You don’t actually need ideas for what to do – just leave the house and see what happens. The toddler will take forever to get ready and take even longer to keep up once you leave, but that’s all good. It’s time spent doing something other than watching another episode of Little Baby Bum.
Drama and dress-ups Toddlers have amazing imaginations and you can spend ages playing with them if you just join in on their level. One simple way to kickstart a make-believe session is to play dress-ups. You could dress as superheroes, scientists, firefighters, robots, animals, or a strange combination of all of the above. What you discover as you embark into the world of a kid’s imagination is that a silly dad is a fun dad. The sillier you let yourself become, the more fun you will have.
66
kiwiparent
Take them to work Many non-essential working dads set up a home office of sorts somewhere away from the disturbance of little and curious, play-addicted people during lockdown. And plenty of dads are still working remotely for some of the time. One way to entertain the preschooler is to invite them to your home office for a visit. Sit them on your lap; you get to do some work (maybe?) and they get to sabotage your Zoom meetings. It will be incredibly disruptive but if you make time for them and give them attention, they will think it’s so special. You can give them an unplugged spare keyboard and sit them on their own chair. They’ll bash away at the keys; demand you play The Wiggles and ask questions like “What does this button do?” after pushing the off switch on your laptop. This sweet visit doesn’t have to take long, but your preschooler will really look forward to it. It’ll be annoying – and fun.
Ultimate sandwiches Cooking anything with kids is fun but it’s better if it involves less cooking and more assembling. That’s why burgers and sandwiches are great. Give the tiny sous chef the challenge of building the ultimate sandwich. The ingredients are limited only by their imagination. The cool thing about sandwiches and burgers is that you basically just build a big tower of food. It’s like playing with blocks but you can eat it.
The key to cooking with kids is to lower your expectations – don’t expect it to look good or even taste good. In fact, sometimes the food ends up being such a disaster that it even grosses out the dog. That’s totally OK. The goal of making ultimate sandwiches isn’t really to eat stuff and mess up your house; it’s to have fun and connect.
You don’t have to watch kids’ shows Some kids’ TV shows are trash (you know which ones). Sometimes we worry a lot about how much time kids spend watching stuff, but we forget to worry about what they are actually viewing. Dads can spend quality time with kids when they are watching something both are engaged in. So, what do you watch that isn’t going to be boring for the other person? There’s a middle ground between Peppa Pig and the PGA Tour. You can do exercise classes or learn a dance routine, watch animal shows, magic tricks or first-person perspective videos of roller coasters. Watch science experiments and then try one yourself. Watch sports highlights and then play that sport. You’ll know if you’re watching something good; not if your kids are silently glued to the screen but if they are so inspired that they are compelled to stop watching and play. We’re in the middle of a global pandemic. Industries are collapsing and the future looks uncertain. Yet for our children – this could be the best time of their lives.
Continued overleaf... The magazine of Parents Centre Aotearoa
67
We’ve been given extra time together – we can either pass the time or use the time. There are many more ideas for entertaining toddlers, like reading books, building huts, dancing and singing, but the point isn’t just to keep our little kids busy. The point is to connect with them as much as possible. Dads are great at playing with preschoolers and we’ve never been given a better opportunity than right now.
Christian Gallen Christian is from Parenting Place, where he is a Senior Presenter and National Trainer for Attitude. He has spoken to over 100,000 young people nationwide during his long presenting career. Christian manages all the social media and online content for Attitude and is passionate about seeing young people make great choices online and offline. www.parentingplace.nz
68
kiwiparent
Kia ora pa-paTo all the fabulous fathers of Aotearoa
Happy Father’s Day – From the Kiwiparent team –
Pa- pa- Pa-para Tama Tamai Ba-puAlab Bàba Dad Pa-pa- Pa-para Tama Tamai Ba-pu- Alab Bàba Dad Pa-paPa-para Tama Tamai Ba-pu- Alab Bàba Dad Pa-pa- Pa-para Tama Tamai Ba-pu- Alab Bàba Dad Pa-paPa-para Tama Tamai Ba-pu- Alab Bàba Dad Pa-pa- Pa-para Tama Tamai Ba-pu- Alab Bàba Dad Pa-pa-
Kia mau koe ki te kupu a tou matua
Hold fast to the words your father gives you
The magazine of Parents Centre Aotearoa
69
Cooking with
kids
70
kiwiparent
Create a lasting, fun-filled memory with your child by baking a special batch of biscuits. Allow them to measure the flour and lick the beaters (just like you used to do) or put them in charge of mixing the dough. Baking with children is a great experience; you spend time together and share special moments that will be treasured forever. Baking is also a great tool to teach children, for example:
Ages one to three: simple baking activities, like pouring, stirring and decorating.
Maths – measuring teaches them about fractions, while cutting the cake into slices teaches them about dividing.
Ages four to six: more advanced activities, like measuring, using the rolling pin, cutting out biscuit shapes and using piping icing. Biscuit recipes where you have to ‘squish’ the dough instead of mixing it with a spoon are ideal for this age.
R eading skills – improve comprehension and vocabulary.
Making a mess
T eamwork – baking encourages teamwork. C uriosity – baking will encourage scientific curiosity, for example making children question why the cake rises. D evelop patience – follow the recipe step by step, and wait for the results. F ollow through – from shopping for the ingredients through to baking, cleaning and finally sampling the baked goods will teach children the value of following through on projects.
Baking by age
Baking with children is going to get messy, but you can keep it to a minimum. Here are ways to keep the mess down: T o keep their clothes clean, let them wear an apron or one of your old t-shirts. C lean as you go; it will teach them a valuable lesson. R emember to enjoy yourself, so keep your sense of humour. S pread newspaper or handy paper towels on the counters and floor for easy cleaning. R emember to always wash your hands before handling food.
Make sure that the baking responsibilities are suited to the age of your child:
Continued overleaf... The magazine of Parents Centre Aotearoa
71
72
kiwiparent
Safety first
Munchie muesli bars
Method
To spare yourself a bit of anxiety, teach your children about all the dangers in the kitchen and how to prevent any danger, for example being careful around hot surfaces.
These muesli bars are perfect for the lunch box and are the easiest you will ever make. Mix everything in a pot, press into a baking tin and bake. Simple and delicious. Makes 12 bars or 24 bites.
Preheat oven to 180°C bake (160°C fan-forced). Grease and line a rectangular slice tin approximately 20cm x 30cm with baking paper.
Here are some tips to keep them safe:
Ingredients
M ake sure pan handles are turned away from the edge, to keep anyone from bumping into them accidentally.
125g Tararua Butter
T urn the stove top off if it is not in use.
2 tbsp Chelsea Golden Syrup
M inimise falls by providing a sturdy chair or stool to stand on so they can reach the bench comfortably. W ear oven gloves when handling pots and pans coming out of the oven. D o not let small children handle knives, and supervise older children when they use sharp objects.
1 cup Chelsea Raw Sugar or Chelsea Organic Raw Sugar
1 cup Edmonds Standard Grade Flour 1 tsp Edmonds Baking Powder
In a large saucepan, melt Tararua Butter, Chelsea Raw Sugar and Chelsea Golden Syrup over a medium heat. Remove from heat and add the rest of the ingredients. Mix until combined and then tip mixture into the prepared tin. Spread mixture out evenly and press down lightly. Bake for 20 minutes. Leave to cool in tin for 5 minutes then remove and place on a chopping board. Cut into bars while still warm.
1 cup desiccated coconut 1 egg 1 cup mixed dried fruit, eg raisins, currants, dried cranberries, etc 5 whole-wheat breakfast cereal biscuits, crushed (eg Weet-Bix or similar)
Continued overleaf...
The magazine of Parents Centre Aotearoa
73
Berry crumble muffins Quick to make, these crunchy topped muffins make a perfect lunchbox or weekend snack. Muffins are easy to make – making them ideal for kids to give them a go.
Ingredients 1 cup blueberries, raspberries or blackberries fresh or frozen 3/4 cup Chelsea Raw Sugar or Chelsea Organic Raw Sugar 1/2 tsp vanilla essence 2 cups plain flour 4 tsp baking powder
100g butter, melted
The addition of pumpkin and sunflower seeds gives our classic Anzac biscuit recipe a nutty twist!
2 eggs, beaten
Ingredients
1 cup milk
100g Tararua Butter
Crumble Topping:
2 tbsp Chelsea Golden Syrup
2 tbsp Chelsea Raw Sugar, extra
1/2 cup Chelsea Raw Sugar
2 tbsp oats
1/2 tsp Edmonds Baking Soda
¼ tsp salt
Method
2 tbsp boiling water
Preheat the oven to 220°C and grease a 12-hole muffin tray.
1/2 cup Edmonds Standard Grade Flour
Combine all ingredients in a large bowl until just mixed and spoon into the prepared muffin tray. Don’t overmix or the muffins will be tough.
1/2 cup coconut
Crumble Topping: Sprinkle with extra sugar and oats and bake for 12–15 minutes, until the muffins spring back when pressed. Note: If using frozen berries, they don’t need to be defrosted beforehand.
74
Chelsea’s Anzac biscuits
kiwiparent
3/4 cup rolled oats 1/3 cup mixed seeds – sunflower and pumpkin
Method Pre-heat oven to 180°C. Grease or line baking trays. In a large saucepan melt Tararua Butter with Chelsea Golden Syrup
and Chelsea Raw Sugar over a low heat. Remove from heat and set aside. Dissolve Edmonds Baking Soda in water, add to saucepan with the remaining ingredients and stir until thoroughly mixed. Put tablespoonfuls of mixture onto baking tray allowing enough room for them to spread; flatten gently with a fork. Bake for approximately 12 minutes or until golden. Recipes supplied by Chelsea Sugar www.chelsea.co.nz
The magazine of Parents Centre Aotearoa
75
Winners Graco SnugRide SnugLock 35 Lx capsule and base from Baby on the Move Juliette Hunter, Nelson
Congratulations to the lucky winners from issue 296 My First Words in Ma-ori – 50 Flash cards Agustina Esmerado, Auckland Hannah Feltham, Wellington
Graco TurboBooster Highback Bbooster from Baby on the Move Genevieve Rowlands, Eltham
Woolbabe Duvet Sleep Suit from The Sleep Store Marissa Bastin, Christchurch
MAX Build More from Zuru Haley Black, Invercargill Bev Watt, Auckland Katherine Taylor, Papamoa Hayley Suurenbroek-Butler, Blenheim
76
Rainbocorns from Zuru
Smashers Epic Egg from Zuru
Adriana Whittington, Palmerston North Brenda George, Porirua Jessica Mead, Stirling
Chanelle Wootton, Taupo Tash Copeland, Dunedin Penelope Leith, Lower Hutt
kiwiparent
Our donation appeal Were your antenatal classes invaluable to you? Can you pay it forward and gift an antenatal class to a vulnerable pregnant woman? Please consider making a donation on our Givealittle Page. givealittle.co.nz/org/ parentscentresnz
Can you pay it forward?
us reach women who for many reasons cannot attend our traditional face-to-face programmes.
Being pregnant and giving birth in a pandemic has been an overwhelming and anxious time for new parents. As we transition back to a new normal, we are increasingly aware of the need to ensure our services remain accessible for all new and expectant parents.
Parents Centres have been advocating for and supporting women for almost 70 years. Making our services accessible while remaining a sustainable organisation is an ongoing challenge. But now more than ever, even while our funding streams have been significantly impacted, women need a safe space to seek education and support during the most vulnerable, scary and yet exciting time in their life. Being pregnant in a time of worldwide pandemic is a hugely stressful and anxious experience. All women need and deserve access to antenatal education and support.
At a time when women most need access to quality, evidence-based childbirth education and support, funding pressures may force us to reduce programme deliveries and scale down our support to volunteers. COVID-19 has impacted the ability of our local Centres to raise funds for services. Cancelled fundraising events and reduced funding from gaming trusts in the first quarter are two main concerns in our local Centres. Many of our Centre volunteers fundraise to ensure all their services are available completely free of charge in their communities. Others fundraise to significantly subsidise costs. These Centres are now facing funding shortfalls over the coming year and this will directly impact the number of programmes and services they are able to run in the coming months.
As the leading provider of childbirth education in New Zealand with a strong history of offering a quality service, Parents Centre is well placed to meet the needs of New Zealand women now and in the future.
Looking for new opportunities At Parents Centre Aotearoa several of our income streams have been impacted by COVID-19, but despite this challenging environment we are looking at the new opportunities that online programmes can bring, helping
Kim Black Funding Manager Parents Centre New Zealand
The magazine of Parents Centre Aotearoa
77
Our partners Partnering to support families As a not-for-profit organisation, partnerships and alliances are essential to Parents Centre to enable us to fund the work we do and to provide resources and benefits to our Centres and our membership. When entering partnerships, we ensure there is a good fit between our organisation and the partnering organisation, ensuring they understand and support Parents Centre’s philosophies. We look at the benefit to all our Centres in the form of education, resources, products, and fundraising opportunities. We seek to develop both strategic and commercial partnerships with credible organisations in order to continue to attract members, deliver our services and be financially sustainable. Huggies nappies fit all the above criteria and I am pleased to say the partnership between Parents Centre and Huggies is now in its 21st year. Huggies support all our parenting classes and really do go the extra mile in ensuring that we can provide our Centres and members with a range of information and products. Catherine Short, Partnerships and Advertising Manager
A word from Huggies® Huggies® has been a proud partner of Parents Centre Aotearoa for over 20 years. Huggies® understands the excitement but also uncertainty that parenthood can bring. Which is why we’re honoured to work with Parents Centre, who continue to ensure parents in New Zealand get the education and support that they need, when they need it the most, through pregnancy and the critical months and years following birth. We both share a strong belief in community and have a similar goal, supporting Kiwi parents to provide the very best care to help their children thrive. Pip Catherwood, Senior Brand Manager – Baby & Child Care, Kimberly-Clark
0800 222 966 / www.babyonthemove.co.nz
Johnson & Johnson PC member benefits: All attendees of Parents Centre CBE and Baby and You get J&J baby bath gift packs and information on science of the skin. www.jnj.com
78
kiwiparent
Philips Avent
Baby On The Move
PC member benefits: Supply breast pads and breastfeeding information to all members.
PC member benefits: 20% off car seat hire, selected buggies and cots for all members.
Phone: 0800 104 401 www.philips.co.nz/AVENT
Phone: 0800 222 966 www.babyonthemove.co.nz
Supporting Kiwi parents
Huggies online pregnancy and parenting The Sleep Store PC member benefits: 20% off selected items, which are regularly updated. www.thesleepstore.co.nz content/parentscentre
PC member benefits: Attendees of CBE, Baby and You and toilet training programmes get a Huggies gift pack. Phone: 0800 733 703 www.huggies.co.nz
The Baby Factory Parenting Place www.theparentingplace.com
Birthing Centre A free service to women of all ages whose pregnancy is considered lowrisk primary care. www.birthingcentre.co.nz
PC member benefits: Regular Parents Centre discount days offering 20% off all stock including sale items.
Resene PC member benefits: Various discounts on decorating supplies and paints with Parents Centre membership card. www.resene.co.nz
Talking Matters A campaign to get everyone talking with babies and young children under three years.
www.babyfactory.co.nz
www.talkingmatters.org.nz
SplashSave PC member benefits: 30% discount on water safety package.
If you want to partner with Parents Centre Aotearoa, or would like to discuss how this may work for your business, contact Catherine on:
www.splashsave.co.nz
c.short@parentscentre.org.nz
The magazine of Parents Centre Aotearoa
79
Win great giveaways
Enter online at www.kiwiparent.co.nz and follow the instructions. Entries must be received by 5pm, 2 October, 2020. Winners will be published in issue 298.
Win a Graco Tranzitions Harness Booster + free sunshade This booster is designed to grow with your child and go wherever your journeys take you. This lightweight car seat transitions seamlessly from harness booster (10–30kg) to highback booster (14–45kg) to backless booster (18–45kg) and features the Simply Safe Adjust™ Harness System. It features two removable cup holders and a machine washable seat pad, body insert, and harness covers. RRP $349.00
Win a Graco Turbo Highback Booster + free sunshade This 2-in-1 seat converts from a highback to a backless booster. Kids love the hideaway cup holders and comfort features, especially the height-adjustable head support and padded armrests. Parents love that it helps protect their child by raising them up to the proper height for the seat belt. Engineered to help protect your child in frontal, side, rear and rollover crashes. RRP$189.00 www.babyonthemove.co.nz
Be in to win with Honeywrap Create Your Own Honeywrap kit The Honeywrap Create Your Own Kit will give you a chance to create and personalise your own beeswax wrap. RRP $34.90
Win a Crane Rechargeable Double Electric Breast Pump from The Sleep Store This pump is designed to mimic a baby’s natural sucking. The soft silicone breast cushion and easily adjustable modes help to stimulate milk let down, while gently massaging and squeezing the breast and nipple. Cleaning, caring for and using your pump are a breeze. The sleek and portable design allows you more flexibility pumping at home or on the go. RRP $369.95 www.thesleepstore.co.nz
Win with Zuru Win 1 of 4 Smashers prize packs Each pack includes: 1x Smashers Giant Thaw Egg $32.00 1x Small Surprise Egg $15.00 Slime, fizz and smash your way through over 25 icy surprises inside to build the exclusive frozen Smash-o-Saur Dino! Use the Arctic Scratch Map to excavate the Dino Ice Age to defrost compounds like the Growing Snow and Crystal Slime with hidden Smash-o-Saur pieces. Unfreeze more surprises like Smash Eggs, digging tools and rebuilders.
80
kiwiparent
Three pack of Honeywrap – Ocean in Need Sort out your kitchen and ditch over 200 metres of plastic with this handy pack of organic beeswax wraps. RRP $29.50
Honeywrap Organic Firestarter Amazing firestarters made from Honeywrap offcuts! Perfect for your fireplace, barbecue or camping kit. RRP $20 www.honeywrap.co.nz
Win 1 of 4 Pets Alive Fifi This Sloth loves to floss! Fifi the Flossing Sloth from Zuru Pets Alive flosses to three epic songs, mimicking one of the most iconic dances of the decade! Her hilarious floss movements, cute blinking eyes and butt wiggles are sure to get everyone up dancing! Who’s got the best moves? You or Fifi? RRP $40.00 www.zuru.co.nz
The product most recommended by doctors for pregnancy stretch marks. Colmar Brunton, 2018
“I got stretch marks in my teens, so of course when I fell pregnant I wanted to avoid them. I’d hear about Bio-Oil all the time, even before I thought about having children, so it was the obvious choice. I think I was 8 weeks pregnant when I started using it for stretch marks on my tummy, and I got none. So when my sister fell pregnant I also recommended it to her to use immediately.”
BGA200103–KP–N&C
Nicky with Chiara
Bio-Oil® helps reduce the possibility of pregnancy stretch marks forming by increasing the skin’s elasticity. It should be applied twice daily from the start of the first trimester. Bio-Oil is available at pharmacies and selected retailers. Individual results will vary. Bio-Oil is distributed in New Zealand by Douglas Pharmaceuticals Ltd, Auckland.
The magazine of Parents Centre Aotearoa
81
Top tips for family friendly decorating... The higher the sheen the easier to clean – opt for Resene SpaceCote Low Sheen on interior walls and Resene Lustacryl semi-gloss on trims.
Dark timber deck too hot to stand on in summer? Next time try Resene CoolColour wood stains to keep the heat down.
Can’t find the light switch? Turn your wall into a handy switch with Resene SmartTouch. Simply double tap the wall to turn the lights on and off.
White and black floors are hard to keep clean. Opt for an easy on the eye grey or mid tone colour, such Resene as Resene Stack for Stack something a little more forgiving.
Resene Half Truffle
Let your children help with the decorating. Give them some Resene testpots that co-ordinate with your colour palette and let them create coloured artworks and paint terracotta pots to match. If you can nurture their love of DIY early on, you’ll have helpers to help with the real painting when they are adults.
Reduce the risk of slipping on stairs with Resene Non-Skid Deck & Path anti-slip finish.
Use your wall space for writing handy notes with Resene Write-on Wall Paint. Simply apply over your Resene paint finish to turn the wall into a coloured whiteboard.
Wrap your brush or roller in clear cling wrap or place inside a plastic bag when you’re taking breaks from your decorating – it will keep the paint fresh and save you lots of washing up.
When you’re planning your decorating project come in and see us at your local Resene ColorShop and we’ll help you with everything from colours and paints, to accessories and application advice. Or ask one of our experts – free online at www.resene.co.nz/techexpert or call 0800 737 363. 82
kiwiparent
If your house is busy with pets and kids, choose a darker neutral for your walls, such as Resene Half Truffle to help hide the wear and tear.
Children scared of the dark? Apply Resene FX Nightlight for a glow-inthe dark effect that they can look at as they nod off to sleep.
resene.co.nz/colorshops