Kiwiparent Magazine Issue #295 April 2020 - May 2020 by Parents Centres New Zealand Inc

RRP $7.50 (incl GST)

SUPPORTING PARENTS THROUGH THE EARLY YEARS

APRIL – MAY 2020

You are brave & strong Speaking out about perinatal mental illness

Feelings matter

Helping children develop social and emotional skills

Ready, set, go!

Preparing for preschool

2020 International Year of the Midwife Celebrating the work of midwives in Aotearoa

Dear Kennedy

A dad’s letter to his premature daughter

The magazine of Parents Centre New Zealand Inc

295

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Features

In this issue

2020 International Year of the Midwife

Letters to the Editor...................................................4–5

Midwives matter – Meg Waghorn............................ 8–11

Regulating for a safer sector Sue Calvert............................................................................12

Product pages................................................................6–7 Going back to work or study Denise Ives.....................................................................34–38

Celebrating midwives Alison Eddy....................................................................13–15

Parents Centre Pages............................................39–43

You are brave and strong

Find a centre....................................................................44

Maria Foy........................................................................16–19

Feelings matter Kerryn O’Neill................................................................20–25

Ready, set, go! Getting ready for preschool......................................26–31

Understanding coronavirus..............................32–33 TLC – Taking care of your breasts Breast Cancer Foundation..........................................46–48

Clear sighted Ravi Das..........................................................................52–55

Make your spare room the ultimate children’s play area Resene creative team.................................................58–61

Birth story: Dear Kennedy Sam Moroney...............................................................62–66

Fresh from Akaroa Lou and Ant Bentley...................................................68–73 2

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Find out about Parents Centre..............................45 A natural choice for your baby Huggies..................................................................................50

Telling stories for the kids of Aotearoa Penguin Random House NZ......................................56–57

Winners from the last two issues..................74–75 Our Funders..............................................................76–77 Our Partners..............................................................78–79 Giveaways..........................................................................80

SUPPORTING PARENTS THROUGH THE EARLY YEARS

APRIL – MAY 2020

2020 International Year of the Midwife | pages 8–11 Advocacy for women’s rights in childbirth is at the heart of midwifery. In New Zealand, it was this imperative, working in partnership with consumers who also wanted changes to the maternity system, propelled midwifery forward to eventually see the birth of our modern-day maternity system. A consumer, Meg Waghorn, Alison Eddy from the College of Midwives and Sue Calvert from the Midwifery Council share their thoughts.

Feelings matter | pages 20–25 When children grow up to be flourishing adults it is no accident. When they are able to take on responsibility, contribute to their wha-nau and community and when they are a good friend, partner or parent, it is almost always due to early support. Parents, wha-nau and other adults who have understood and guided them in their early years, childhood and adolescence, have been an important part of reaching that positive adult state.

Ready, set… go! | pages 26–31 It can be a daunting task finding the right childcare centre for your child. You have spent all this precious time with your child and know them better than anyone, and now you are going to leave them in someone else’s care. The process of finding the right centre can be the hardest part. Once your child is settled, it is likely that they will begin to really enjoy their time in care, form new special friendships and develop wonderful early childhood memories.

Kiwiparent. The magazine of Parents Centre New Zealand Inc. Since 1954. Editor Leigh Bredenkamp Ph (04) 472 1193 Mobile (0274) 572 821 leighb@e–borne.co.nz PO Box 28 115, Kelburn, 6150

Editorial Enquiries Ph (04) 233 2022 or (04) 472 1193 info@e–borne.co.nz

Advertising Sales Catherine Short Ph (04) 233 2022 x8805 c.short@parentscentre.org.nz

Design Hannah Faulke edendesign.nz

Proofing Megan Kelly

Printer Caxton Design and Print

Subscriptions info@parentscentre.org.nz

www.kiwiparent.co.nz

Publisher Parents Centres New Zealand Inc Ph (04) 233 2022

Kiwiparent is a publication of Parents Centre NZ and reflects the philosophy and values of the organisation. Information contained in the articles is consistent with our transition to parenting programmes provided through our 47 Centres. Articles published in this magazine may be reproduced providing they are used for noncommercial purposes and written permission has been provided by Parents Centre. ISSN 1173–7638

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Nga- mihi me te aroha nui - te Ra- o te Whaea! mo Love and best wishes for Mother’s Day! As we get ready to celebrate Mother’s Day in May 2020, the world is confronting the spread of coronavirus with information – and misinformation – changing daily as headlines scream for attention. Coming hard on the heels of the measles scares at the end of last year, this has left many parents anxious as they look for the best way to protect their wha-nau from the threat of illness. At the time of going to print, there are just a few of confirmed case of coronavirus in Aotearoa, but that could, of course, change at any time. One of the biggest challenges we all face these days is finding trusted sources of advice. While we have access to unlimited information in this digital age, we are also deluged with data to the point where it can be paralysing. Advice from so-called experts washes constantly over us… and not all of it is helpful. Misinformation is as prevalent as information, and it isn’t always easy to tell the difference. Social media is both a blessing and a curse, and proves a fertile breeding ground for rumour and even panic. We went to the Ministry of Health for advice on coronavirus and they share facts to date and some practical advice for families on pages 32–33 of this issue. 2020 is the International Year of the Midwife and offers us the opportunity to celebrate and acknowledge the work of midwives who help to usher our precious babies into this world. Whilst I know we have a worldclass maternity service, there are simply not enough midwives to go around and many of these (mostly) women we trust to care for mothers and babies during pregnancy and birth are underpaid, under resourced and often feel underappreciated. This is a problem that needs fixing at government and district health board level, so that all families can continue to get the best maternity care possible. Despite all the worries of the world, Mother’s Day is a time to celebrate the range of motherhood we enjoy today – stay-at-home mums, working mums, solo mums, stepmums, foster mums, any kind of mother who cares for her family. I am enormously grateful to be a mother and a grandmother – and I am privileged to know many awesome mums, nanas, aunties, sisters, cousins and female friends. My life is enriched by every one of you and you are worth all the celebration in the universe. Leigh Bredenkamp

The magazine of Parents Centre

Letters

to the editor

Top Letter

Congratulations to the Top Letter winner Jill Ford from Wellington who will win a prize pack from Natural Instinct.

Top letter prize The winning letter receives the complete Natural Instinct face care range, truly natural skincare products with active anti-ageing plant-based ingredients and 100% free from over 400 potentially harmful ingredients to you and the environment. Available from leading pharmacies. RRP $102.

Later this year a new Crown entity to regulate water, Taumata Arowai, will be set up. This will have a range of objectives and functions, including protecting and promoting public health outcomes. Greater provision of public water fountains will help with better public health outcomes. So to try and get action on the issue we have launched a petition: https://bit.ly/2UCDdy8 We’re asking the Hon Nanaia Mahuta in her role as Minister for Local Government and Associate Minister for the Environment to ensure that legislation is in place so that all councils are to have public drinking fountains in 50% of playgrounds, parks and sports grounds and this is enforced by Taumata Arowa.

Making a difference I’m passionate about making a difference. My experience working on a plastic campaign with City to Sea, the organisation behind Refill UK, inspired me to set up something similar in Aotearoa – RefillNZ. RefillNZ is helping to increase accessibility of free water on tap. It started as a plastic pollution campaign but because of the high consumption of soft drinks, I have been collaborating with health organisations to promote free wai on tap. RefillNZ works by collaborating with cafes and other businesses as well as council venues, who are happy for people to pop in and refill their water bottles for free. However, a key issue is the lack of public drinking fountains, and we believe this needs to be addressed for the health of our tamariki and the environment.

Conscious parenting – want to know more? Check out upcoming programmes at your local Parents Centre: www.parentscentre.org.nz Browse through the resources here: www.skip.org.nz Join ‘Conscious Parenting’ pages and groups on Facebook online and read, read, read! 4Research kiwiparent

Given that families with children would probably like to see greater access to water in public places, it would be great if you were to promote the petition through the Parents Centre networks, volunteers, donors, and other supporters, post on social media, etc! We throw away an estimated 838 million plastic bottles every year in New Zealand – the equivalent of 165 Olympic swimming pools. And we consume up to 6x the recommended daily sugar, thanks to the sugar in soft drinks, with huge environmental and health consequences. But I believe that together we have the power to reach, influence and drive change to prevent plastic pollution at source. Jill Ford Founder, RefillNZ www.refillnz.org.nz

are you baby ready?

Kia ora, e Ma-ma-

To all the wonderful mums of Aotearoa

Happy Mother’s Day Ra- hari ma-rie Eyd 'am saeid Manuia le aso o Tina 母亲节快乐 Mǔqīn jié kuàilè

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Product

information

Bio-Oil Skincare Oil – 125ml Hello little one! Mama’s taking good care of you. Bio-Oil’s nourishing Skincare Oil is free from parabens, metals, and food allergens so it’s safe to use at any stage of pregnancy. RRP from $18.99 for 60mL. To find out more visit bio-oil.com

Sleep Store Merino Fleece Onesie At The Sleep Store, we love to find amazing products that help children sleep better. We've hunted the world for a really warm, safe, versatile sleepsuit for kids and never found something we really loved. So, we've developed our own Sleep Store Merino Fleece Onesie which is designed for sleep! It's warm enough for kids who kick off their covers, so they won't wake up cold. And it's also perfect for using with one of our Sleep Store merino duvets or some light blankets for those children who manage to keep their bedding on or who prefer to layer up. The Sleep Store Onesie is made from a soft, snuggly layer of 100% merino fleece, so its soft-brushed finish on the inside feels divine against the skin. Merino is naturally temperature regulating, so the onesie helps your child to be just the right temperature all night. We're delighted to have worked very closely with the owner and designer of Babu, Ali Hui, who has helped us develop this wonderful Onesie. Ali has worked for over a year developing this amazingly soft and warm fabric for us – we hope you'll love it as much as we do.

Can you bop it like Boppi? Pets Alive Boppi the Booty Shakin’ Llama has had a fresh new makeover! 3 NEW epic songs, NEW dance moves, and NEW rainbow fur! Rainbow Boppi’s funky personality will have everyone up dancing and laughing for hours! With her vibrant colours, hilarious dance moves and 360 spins, Boppi is sure to steal the dance floor! Rainbow Boppi available in store March. RRP $34.99

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New Johnson’s CottonTouch range CottonTouch is our first and only newborn skincare range blended with cotton. Our scientists were inspired by cotton fabrics beloved for being soft, absorbent and breathable. Using a very finely milled cotton, a formula was perfected that was a gentle enough for the youngest skin. Babies' skin is up to 30% thinner than adults', so it needs ultragentle and delicate care. Cotton Touch range provides: water-based lotion blended with cotton protects delicate skin from day one (protects from dryness) ultra-light, absorbs quickly hypoallergenic & clinically proven to be gentle on newborns no added parabens, phthalates or dyes. www.johnsonsbaby.co.nz

Huggies® Ultimate Nappies and Nappy Pants Huggies® has just released a new nappy with a plant derived liner wrap made from renewable sources – sustainably sourced from sugar care. This range offers an appealing alternative for parents who see value in more natural solutions for their families. The new Huggies® Ultimate Nappies and Nappy Pants are crafted using only the gentlest of ingredients inspired by Mother Nature using our best three-way care for skin – softness, dryness and breathability. www.huggies.co.nz

Find FREE Water on The Go In New Zealand an estimated 828 million single-use plastic bottles are thrown away per year. That’s about 168 each, and equivalent to 165 Olympic swimming pools. This contributes to the plastic pollution in our oceans, killing marine animals and getting into the fish we eat. RefillNZ aims to change that by making it easier to find FREE tap water in cafes, tourist places, and other business and council venues, so carrying a reusable bottle and refilling with tap water becomes the norm again. Participating ‘sites’ have a RefillNZ sticker in their window – to show that they are a Refill station and you’re welcome to come on in and fill up your bottle – for free! You can refill your reusable water bottle for free at participating RefillNZ cafes, bars, restaurants, libraries, pools, leisure centres, dentists and more throughout New Zealand. Please do thank them and be fair – just refill your water bottle not a big container. To find somewhere to refill, use our location-based map on our website or download the RefillNZ App in the Apple Store. www.refillnz.org.nz

The magazine of Parents Centre

Midwifery: Part 1

Midwives matter Celebrating and supporting Kiwi midwives during the International Year of the Midwife

In February, my oldest son turned five. As the big day drew closer the nostalgia started to creep in – every day my mind started to drift back to what I was doing on that day five years ago. As he didn’t arrive until ten days after my due date most of those memories are of curb walking, swiss balls, raspberry leaf tea and other such hopeful attempts at bringing on labour. When I flick through the album of his first year, I often return to the series of photos taken immediately after he was born, always checking the timestamp and marveling at what an intense moment that was. 6:22pm – dark and blurry as the lights were down as per my birth plan, here he is on my chest. 6:24pm – the lights are on, I look elated and exhausted, he looks purple and furious. 6.27pm – on the phone to my dad, baby looking like a cross little alien frog. Mostly the photos are of me and him, my husband behind the camera, the odd appearance by my mother who was with us. The only trace of the other person who was there all through that special and intense day with us is the blurry stripes in the background of the first photo, and a pair of stylishly manicured hands weighing baby in another; my midwife.

My midwives’ value can’t be overstated It is impossible to overstate the value of the midwifery care I have received over two successful pregnancies and two that ended in miscarriage. I have called midwives in tears so many times – from the bathrooms at work after being surprised by bleeding, from a hospital after being pressured by doctors into scheduling

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an induction, from my lounge in the evening riddled with fever from mastitis. Without fail I have been met with calmness, kindness and a breadth of knowledge and experience that reassured me. Moments stick out to me – the hospital midwife in the women’s assessment unit who teared up in sympathy when we cried through miscarriage management options, my first LMC midwife who was a rock in the face of unhelpful comments and pressure from doctors in my first labour, the hospital midwife in my second labour who brought an incredible aura of calm to my hospital room even when coming straight from a birth emergency in the room next door, my most recent LMC midwife who demonstrated such an incredible awareness of current research that I joked to my husband we should get her a t-shirt reading “there’s no strong evidence for that”.

Photos: © Stacey Lake Photography

“ If you want to thank your LMC midwife or the hospital midwives who supported you during pregnancy, labour and postnatally, I can think of no better way than putting some time into working to preserve and improve our precious maternity care system. Leave the novelty “Midwife: at your cervix” mug in the shopping cart and dash off an email to your local MP or DHB board member.” – Meg Waghorn

The midwifery care I received has also benefited the public health system. In both pregnancies health conditions arose or became more serious and it was via frequent appointments with LMC midwives, and those midwives being diligent with referrals, that they were picked up and treated. I believe that the support of my midwives (along with the necessary doses of biology and good fortune) helped both my induced labours to progress quickly and with relatively low intervention, resulting in short hospital stays, freeing up resources for those with greater need. After the birth of my first child in particular, I needed a lot of support with breastfeeding in the early weeks and had recurrent bouts of mastitis that would otherwise have landed me at the GP, after hours or potentially the hospital emergency department. I know

how important midwife-led care was to me – but I acknowledge I am relatively physically and mentally well, economically privileged, with a supportive partner and family, and fairly confident navigating our health system. I really worry about women who don’t have those advantages being unable to access the care that would best support them. It is frustrating that in all the talk about the importance of the very early days in life for predicting future well-being, we are still underfunding maternity care. I also acknowledge that many women do not have the overwhelmingly positive experience of midwifery care that I have had, and my heart goes out to them. However, I think the best way to improve practice where it may be lacking, is to raise the status of the profession by urgently addressing pay and workload concerns.

Continued overleaf... The magazine of Parents Centre

2020

International Year of the Midwife

Celebrating Midwives

Challenging times for maternity services

seen and experienced under-resourcing during their pregnancies and labours.

I knew from before my pregnancy with my second son that things were tight with maternity care and with midwife care in particular. As a member of the Lower Hutt Parents Centre Committee I had local women approach me in early pregnancy anxious and upset to not have been able to find a midwife. It was while I was pregnant, however, that I really began to get a sense of just how dire things had become in our maternity care system across the country.

Highs and lows

In the Facebook ‘due group’ I joined, complaints about finding care, being able to access appointments in a timely manner and worries about midwife workloads were common. With a student midwife following my pregnancy, I was also privy to lots of discussions about current working conditions for midwives and some of the resourcing and staffing problems in our local hospital. It was when my son was born in late June 2019 that things really came home for me, when a devastating report into the state of the women’s health services at our local hospital was released. Reading the report was extremely confronting for me, especially having seen echoes of the issues mentioned during my own pregnancy, labour and postnatal stay. I was frustrated with the lack of attention our local maternity care issues were getting when other regions had been featured in the news for similar issues. I decided to express my concerns to our local MPs, the DHB CEO and candidates standing for election to the DHB, as well as the Associate Minister of Health, Julie Anne Genter, who had recently taken on the maternity portfolio. Once I had featured in the media, I also began to receive stories from other local women who had

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Since June, when my son was born and the report was publicly released, I have experienced many intense ups and downs while trying to get action taken to improve our services and improve the working conditions for midwives both in the hospital and in the community. Some of the lows have been hearing some extremely distressing stories of birthing women and midwives in our community. At times, the constant flow of these stories has challenged my personally positive views about pregnancy and birth. After a very intense and emotional public meeting in which MPs and some DHB members heard some of these stories and the subsequent media attention, I felt a very heavy burden knowing that pregnant women were feeling anxiety about birthing in our area and that media attention was adding to the stresses of overloaded midwives, especially in the hospital. However, there have been high points too – the main one being a follow-on meeting in which about 40 local women gathered together to talk about practical ways to support women and midwives in our region. A group of volunteers and soon to be a charitable trust has emerged from this meeting and is a positive way our community can keep track of the state of our service. Another really positive outcome of the work and time I have spent on this issue is finding out just how much our community really cares about maternity care. All the politicians I have met with have expressed genuine concern, especially about the negative experiences women have had. Unfortunately progress from government has been far too slow, and having the best will in the world will mean little for women

“There is no greater power than a community discovering what it cares about.” – Margaret J. Wheatley

and midwives if it is not backed up by action and significantly increased funding for maternity care. A one-off payment of $9.4 million to the maternity unit at my local hospital will go some way to improving facilities, but both DHBs and central government need to act with urgency to resolve pay negotiations and improve working conditions for midwives.

Keep sharing and explaining The main thing I have learned in the last six months is just how important it is to keep sharing our stories of pregnancy and birth and explaining the issues that we have in New Zealand maternity care. Our maternity care system can seem extremely complicated to those who have not had recent experience of it, and the best way for women and families who want to support midwives and advocate for improvements to the current state of care is to get in contact with their local DHB and MPs. Sharing these stories can be painful and distressing, for women and midwives alike, but it is by working together to push for change that we will be most effective. The relationship between a pregnant woman and her midwife can be an extraordinary partnership with a joyful outcome, and we need to continue to build on the strength of those individual partnerships to create collective action. If you want to thank your LMC midwife or the hospital midwives who supported you during pregnancy, labour and postnatally, I can think of no better way than putting some time into working to preserve and improve our precious maternity care system. Leave the novelty “Midwife: at your cervix” mug in the shopping cart and dash off an email to your local MP or DHB board member. I sincerely hope that this year, 2020, the International Year of the Nurse and Midwife, is one in which we see long-stalled pay negotiations and pay equity claims

settled, a budget that recognises the urgent need in our maternity care system, and DHBs that do all they can to cherish and support our hospital midwives. All of our experiences of pregnancy, birth and early parenting are so different, but we can use the collective force of our experiences to improve the outcomes for so many future mothers and babies in New Zealand. I was told directly by a politician in one of my meetings about this issue that in terms of health spending in New Zealand it is sadly true that “the squeaky wheel gets the grease” so, families of New Zealand, it is time to get squeaking! Spending so much time thinking, learning and worrying about the experiences of women in the New Zealand maternity care system means that my own experiences are always fresh in my mind. At 6.22 p.m. on Thursday the 13th of February this year, I sat in a restaurant with my two boys and husband, thinking back five years to a delivery suite and that exact moment when I first held my firstborn, after the long wait and work of pregnancy and birth. I raised a glass and had a private toast, to me and my midwife, and the wonderful team that we were. 

Meg Waghorn Meg lives in Wellington with her husband and two children. She is the Secretary of Lower Hutt Parents Centre, and a vocal advocate for women and families, access to quality maternity services, both in her community and throughout the country.

The magazine of Parents Centre

Midwifery: Part 2

Regulating for

a safer sector Midwives are key health professionals in maternity care and they play an important role providing health services both here in New Zealand and around the world. In New Zealand the Midwifery Council is the regulator for midwives. We are responsible for setting standards for education that midwives must achieve in order to be entered onto the register. Part of this work includes the accreditation of midwifery degrees to ensure that they meet the required standards. The midwifery degree is a four-year degree that includes theory and extensive clinical practice. The Council is also responsible for registering all midwives who wish to practise in New Zealand. When applications for registration are received from midwives who are educated overseas, they are assessed to ensure that the standard and quality of degree is equivalent to the New Zealand qualification. There are many things that the Council considers when reviewing applications – these include experience and nature and type of practice, as well as engagement in ongoing development. With an international shortage and a drive to educate more midwives around the world, New Zealand midwives have been instrumental in developing programmes of education to support other countries. These same educators are responsible for the delivery of high-quality programmes here in New Zealand and are working to ensure we have adequate numbers of well-prepared graduates –

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many of you may have had student midwives involved in your care. The International Year of the Midwife will be used to showcase their work. The Council is also responsible for the ensuring the ongoing competence of midwives – it expects that midwives will continue to develop and enhance their knowledge and skills throughout their career and the Council accredits education that is used for ongoing development. This means that almost every day midwives across the country are involved in education and upskilling. For example, each midwife must attend an emergency workshop every year. As part of International Year of the Midwife, the Council is undertaking a key strategic project that will see it review the scope of practice, competencies for entry to the register and pre-registration programmes of education. This means the Council is looking at its core documents to ensure that they are contemporary, reflect practice in New Zealand, and ensure that the education that midwives receive meets the needs of women and their families. As we know that midwives work in partnership with women and their wha-nau, consumers of maternity services will play an integral part in this project and the Council will invite representatives to attend a workshop early 2020. I invite you to follow the progress of this project on our website: www.midwiferycouncil.health.nz Dr Sue Calvert CEO/Registrar, The Midwifery Council of New Zealand 

Midwifery: Part 3

Celebrating midwives 2020 is International Year of the Midwife

Last year the World Health Organisation (WHO) designated 2020 as the International Year of the Nurse and the Midwife. In recognition of the distinct difference between the two professions, New Zealand midwives have agreed with our New Zealand nursing colleagues that we will recognise the celebratory year as two separate events occurring concurrently â&#x20AC;&#x201C; the International Year of the Midwife (IYM) and the International Year of the Nurse. The rationale provided by the WHO for this year of recognition stems from the significant contribution to the health and well-being of women and babies that midwives make globally. By acknowledging the importance of their work, the WHO hopes to highlight the need to invest in and strengthen the workforce so the contribution of midwives can be even greater than it already is.

Simply not enough Although it is estimated that there are two million midwives worldwide, this is simply not enough. The most acute shortages are in low income countries in South East Asia and Africa, where improved access to skilled midwifery care could make the greatest difference. Even where

midwives are present, many lack the power, training, equipment and medical supplies to deliver the first line care needed for safe birth. It is estimated that midwifery could avert over 80% of all maternal deaths, stillbirths and neonatal deaths. Achieving universal health coverage for maternity care will depend on there being enough numbers of well educated, regulated and well supported midwives, who receive pay and recognition commensurate with the services and quality of care that they provide. Universal Health Coverage is defined by the WHO as

ensuring that all people have access to needed health services (including prevention, promotion, treatment, rehabilitation and palliation) of sufficient quality to be effective while also ensuring that the use of these services does not expose the user to financial hardship. In New Zealand we have over 3,000 registered midwives, and it could be assumed that access to midwifery care from a qualified and regulated midwife is something that every woman should be able to expect. Unfortunately, New Zealand too has a shortage of midwives, and

Continued overleaf... The magazine of Parents Centre

2020

International Year of the Midwife

Celebrating Midwives

although the extent of the shortages is nowhere near as significant as they are in low-income countries, they are no doubt impacting on women’s access to midwives and their experiences of maternity care. Although New Zealand midwives are well educated and regulated and are able to practise across their full scope and work in a continuity of care model, gender bias and discrimination (reflected in inadequate investment in midwifery, resulting in poor working conditions and remuneration) is still apparent. These issues are common to midwives in many countries and contexts, and they impact on midwives' ability to provide the care that women and babies need. The WHO aims of the IYM and themes for the year, as set out by the International Confederation of Midwives speak to the universality or commonality of the issues midwives face. They reflect both the importance of partnership between women and midwives, and the inherent politicisation of midwives' work as of a result of its gendered nature. Midwifery is a purposeful, passionate and proud profession. However, as an almost exclusively female profession caring for an exclusively

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female population, it is also highly politicised. This has always been the case, right throughout history, and it is still the case in present times.

Advocating for women’s rights in childbirth Advocacy for women’s rights in childbirth is at the heart of midwifery. When considering midwifery’s history in New Zealand, it was this imperative (to advocate for women’s rights) working in partnership with consumers who also wanted changes to the maternity system, which propelled midwifery forward to eventually see the birth of our modern day maternity system. At this time, the phrase ‘women need midwives need women’ was devised and this expression is as relevant today as it was in the 1980s. Women and midwives working together side by side achieved much more than was possible than if we had worked alone. Parents Centre has been at the heart of consumer advocacy for improvements to working conditions for New Zealand midwives in the present day. Recent examples include Parents Centre representatives having a key role in raising public awareness about

the issues at the Hutt Valley DHB maternity service (see article from Meg Waghorn on 8). Midwives welcome Parents Centre’s support. It not only raised political and public awareness to the issues in a way which the profession can’t achieve on its own, but it also helped midwives to hear the message that the services and care they provide to women and their wha-nau are valued and make a difference.

Celebrate with us To acknowledge the year of celebration, the College of Midwives is planning a range of events, including a parliamentary breakfast, social media activity promoting facts about midwifery and the impact of midwifery, as well as celebrating contributions of individual midwives. I invite you to send your messages to Hayley.m@nzcom.org.nz. We welcome the support of consumer organisation partners like Parents Centre in this celebratory year and would love you all to join us in the activities.

A big year for midwives So, all in all, 2020 will be a big year for midwives and midwifery. Here in New Zealand we are anticipating political decisions about funding for the initiatives proposed to improve

WHO aims of the International Year of the Midwife

ICM themes for the International Year of the Midwife

D rive policy change and public action to achieve increased commitments to building a sustainable workforce of qualified midwives and thereby increase women’s access to quality midwifery care.

Celebrate the work of midwives.

F urther ignite pertinent discussion about the relationships between midwives and women as advocates for each other. H ighlight the role of midwives as gender champions in their communities. O utline the challenges and barriers midwives face globally and disseminate evidence about the vital need for midwives as the key to quality maternity care. A dvocate to governments to ensure that midwives work in an environment that enables them to deliver quality midwifery care to women, newborns and families worldwide.

D emonstrate the body of evidence around the impact of midwives and the case for investment in midwives; build policy guidance about the enabling environment that midwives need if they are to deliver quality care that improves health outcomes. M obilise midwives, associations, stakeholders and women to become advocates for the profession in support of midwives and midwifeled continuity of care. U nite midwives and women towards a common goal of gender equality by uniting associations and women’s groups locally, nationally and globally towards the achievement of this goal.

the recruitment and retention of hospital midwives under the Accord, conclusion of the pay equity case for employed midwives, a pathway to fair and reasonable pay, and a new contract for community midwives. The profession has faced challenging times in recent years. Workforce shortages and lack of value ascribed to the role of midwives are extant. These are not simple issues, they are complex, long standing and they are not easily solved. The IYM provides an opportunity for us to reflect on midwifery as an international movement that makes a significant contribution to the well-being of women and communities, through provision of midwifery care, and through political action and advocacy for women’s rights. Shining a spotlight on the midwifery profession globally has the potential to achieve the aims of the IYM and raise public awareness of the value of New Zealand midwives in supporting women, whilst continuing political pressure to support pay equity and improved working conditions. 

Alison Eddy Alison has been a registered midwife for over 20 years and worked at the College as a Midwifery Advisor prior to becoming appointed as the Chief Executive last year. Alison has worked as a midwife in a number of settings prior to and during her tenure at the College. She is the parent of 14-year-old twins.

The magazine of Parents Centre

You are

brave & strong Admitting you have postnatal depression doesn’t mean you’re weak – it means you’re strong

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Admitting you have postnatal depression does not mean you are weak.

There’s never a right or wrong time to talk about depression; in fact, the more we talk about it, the less stigma there is about it. Admitting you have postnatal depression (PND) does not mean you are weak. In fact, it’s the exact opposite. Admitting it is the first step and is an incredibly brave thing to do. It basically means you’ve been struggling for so long you can no longer do it alone and need help. Whether you take medication or not, to start on the path to becoming yourself again means you are an incredibly strong and brave mother (or father) for looking after yourself. Even though a lot of people will say that their baby or their children are everything to them, and that they should be the number one focus, I wholly believe the parents should actually be the number one focus.

You can’t parent properly if you don’t look after yourself You are a better parent when you look after yourself, and having PND takes a piece of you away. In my case, it turned me into someone that wasn’t me. When I admitted to myself, my husband and my doctor that something wasn’t right, I felt like I had truly taken a step in the right direction.

I took medication from the time my daughter was six months old, right through my next pregnancy, and now several years on, I am still taking medication. In fact, I am sure I just have straightforward depression now as my youngest is five years old. Taking medication, for me, was the best decision I ever made. But whatever you decide, just know that you are incredibly strong and brave for doing it. Whether you have support or not, talking to someone about your struggles is truly an amazing step.

Asking for help is a sign of strength Asking for help isn’t easy. It means we must admit we’re in a position where we need it, and as dumb as it sounds, often human beings view needing help as a sign of weakness. Well I’m here to tell you, it’s not. Asking for help shows strength, not weakness. Asking for help means you’ve struggled for so long you can no longer do it alone. It shows you are wise. Not weak. I have always been the first to admit I can’t do this parenting thing alone. My husband often works late at night, meaning I have to look after the kids during “witching hour” (which is

Happy, healthy Mum/Dad = happy, healthy baby AND family. Continued overleaf... The magazine of Parents Centre

Here are some more links if you need to get help, of any kind: P ADA (Perinatal Anxiety and Depression Aotearoa) website with resources and information for wha-nau suffering perinatal distress www.pada.nz Lifeline (open 24/7) – 0800 543 354 Depression Helpline (open 24/7) – 0800 111 757 www.depression.org.nz M inistry of Health Healthline (open 24/7) – 0800 611 116 Samaritans (open 24/7) – 0800 726 666 www.samaritans.org.nz S uicide Crisis Helpline (open 24/7) – 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO). This is a service for people who may be thinking about suicide, or those who are concerned about family or friends. Youthline (open 24/7) – 0800 376 633. You can also text 234 for free between 8am and midnight, or email talk@youthline.co.nz 0 800 WHATSUP children’s helpline – phone 0800 9428 787. Online chat is available from 7pm to 10pm every day at www.whatsup.co.nz R ural Support Trust – 0800 787 254 (0800 RURAL HELP) www.rural-support.org.nz A lcohol Drug Helpline (open 24/7) – 0800 787 797. You can also text 8691. www.alcoholdrughelp.org.nz

between 5pm and 7pm here). After looking after them all day, having to deal with cranky, hungry and tired kids gets me down. I’ve always maintained that the night stuff is the hardest for me. By the end of the day, I need help. I’d been saying it for years to my husband, and one day I just broke.

M ental Health Foundation has a free resource and information service www.mentalhealth.org.nz

After this period, it was very clear to me that my children need to be separated – by kindy, or other activities – because they had fought for almost three straight weeks.

Now before I go any further, I need to say that I understand a lot of parents deal with this kind of thing every single day when they are parenting alone. And I applaud you. I bow to you – I think you are amazing. However, this is my struggle and it in no way is meant to diminish that of the single parent.

That particular day proved the tipping point for me. We travelled out to Butterfly Creek in Auckland and not even 45 minutes after we got there we had to leave because they just wouldn’t stop fighting. I felt defeated.

There was this one time I just couldn’t do it anymore. It was the 20th day I had both kids in my care and looked after them until bedtime through witching hour. My daughter was usually at kindergarten, but she had been sick, so, prior to the school holidays, she was home for over a week. During these 20 days, my husband had worked passed 7pm for eight of them, and the rest of the time he was in Russia.

Unfortunately, he didn’t get the message, which to be honest, didn’t help … but he has his own life and job and was busy at the time, so I understand.

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I text messaged my husband at 4:30pm and said, “I need you to come home, I can’t do it anymore.”

I felt like a zombie through dinner, bath time, and putting the kids to bed – then my husband came home early. And he had this to say to me: “I am here. I have changed my hours this week so I can be with you and help.”

And I cried. Oh yes, I did the ugly cry. Because I was so grateful. I was grateful to my husband for hearing my call for help. I was grateful to his work for obliging and letting him be flexible in his hours. I was just grateful knowing I didn’t have to dread 5pm and do it all alone again. Please don’t be afraid to ask for help. Even if it feels like it gets you nowhere. You never know who might be listening, and you’d be surprised at the number of people out there who genuinely want to help. To all you parents out there who don’t have close family to help or friends that can assist, I am sorry. It can’t be easy, and I know a lot of you have no choice but to continue through – I have a huge amount of admiration for you. However, if you are truly struggling, please still ask for help. Talk to your midwife, your GP or your Plunket nurse. Or someone at work or an ECE teacher or a friend. As I said above, you’d be surprised who might hear you and help. If anyone says to you that you are less of a person because you have a mental illness, believe me when I say you are more than they will ever be because you have struggled and come out the other side. Admitting it is the first step to coming out that side, which means you’re a wonderful person. WELL DONE TO YOU! You are braver than you know. 

Maria Foy Maria is a mum of two from South Auckland. She started Happy Mum Happy Child (www.happymumhappychild.co.nz) to document the activities she did with her children and shares all about her struggles with depression and parenting.

The magazine of Parents Centre

Feelings

matter

How you can support your child’s social and emotional development

When children grow up to be flourishing adults it is no accident. When they are able to take on responsibility, contribute to their wha-nau and community and when they are a good friend, partner or parent, it is almost always due to early support. Parents, wha-nau and other adults who have understood and guided them in their early years, childhood and adolescence, have been an important part of reaching that positive adult state. In the early years, physical development is obvious and significant. As our tamariki grow, they roll, sit, crawl and walk. That’s an awful lot of growth and learning, and it is amazing to observe. These skills will continue to be built on throughout childhood and beyond. But that’s not all that’s developing rapidly over this time. From the very beginning, babies are gathering information and learning about themselves, and about other people. Their emerging social and emotional skills will form the foundations for their later development and will impact many areas of their life. This will also profoundly affect the lives of those around them. Early social, emotional and behavioural understanding is important in many ways as children develop, such as being ready to learn at school and forming relationships with friends and wha-nau. These early skills are also linked to success in adolescence and throughout life.

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Developing the right skills Some of the most important skills needed throughout life include:

lots of things parents and wha-nau do daily that make a difference. Here are some of the things that help.

Controlling impulses

Scaffolding

Staying focused

From birth, understanding and meeting baby’s needs, physically, socially and emotionally, pretty consistently will help to form the beginning of a secure attachment relationship. As babies become toddlers, parents have an important role in providing guidance and scaffolding so children learn how to behave. Scaffolding involves the parent providing support for their child’s learning. Ideally this involves providing just enough help for the child to do something themselves.

Making plans Collectively these skills are sometimes called “executive function skills” and they are the basis for both cognitive and social learning. Babies are not born with these skills, but they are born with the potential to develop them. Providing children with the necessary support to develop this potential is an important part of parenting. How well they develop depends a lot on their experiences, beginning from birth. These skills don’t just ‘happen’, although it can feel as though they do when parents know what to do without thinking about it. There are

Children learn these skills best when parents help them practise their growing skills, and have reasonable expectations for their age. Providing them with challenges that ‘stretch’ them but are not too overwhelming

From the very beginning, babies are gathering information and learning about themselves, and about other people.

seems to be key. Like a lot of parenting, this is easier said than done! However, like all parenting it needs only to be ‘good enough’, not perfect. Parents gently guide tamariki, over time, from being completely dependent to being able to make some decisions for themselves. The early versions of these skills are the foundations for their more developed skills in adulthood. They also increase a child’s resilience and ability to cope with difficulty.

Serve and Return Long before they can talk, babies reach out to their parents and wha-nau. Through their facial expressions, babbling and bodily movements, babies communicate what is going on for them and what they need. Just because pe-pi is not talking yet, doesn’t mean that they are not communicating!

When parents join the ‘conversation’ by talking and gesturing back to their pe-pi, something amazing happens. These back-and-forth (‘serve and return’) interactions help to build and strengthen the structures in baby’s brain. Talking ‘with’ children is much better than just talking ‘to’ them. This involves the parent in both talking and listening to their child. In the same way, the child gets to talk and listen as well. It’s important that parents learn to read their baby’s signals and respond to them. Having parents and other wha-nau respond in this way helps pe-pi to feel understood and important, and, through many repetitions, they also develop new skills. Repeated chats have a number of benefits for a baby’s development. The more of these conversations that tamariki have, the better their language development is likely

to be. Having their needs and interests responded to is one of the ingredients for a healthy attachment with their parents. And healthy attachment is very positive for many aspects of health and well-being.

Talking about feelings The content of what parents and tamariki talk about is important too. Using words to describe emotions is an important part of developing the ability to handle all their feelings, which is often called ‘emotional regulation’. As children get older, if their parents talk often about people’s feelings and about the morals of their behaviour, they are more likely to take on their parents’ moral rules and recognise when they’ve done something wrong. A child’s ability to recognise, understand and handle a range of feelings is important. It’s a central part of managing their behaviour

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A child’s ability to recognise, understand and handle a range of feelings is important.

and getting on with others. Knowing and understanding their own feelings, and those of others, is linked to a number of positive outcomes, including fewer behaviour problems. Like other things pe-pi and tamariki are learning, emotional understanding takes a while and happens in the context of their most important relationships. While it will take many years to fully develop, it starts at the very beginning. One of the things parents can do to help is to accept their child’s full range of emotions and use words to describe how their pe-pi or tamaiti is feeling. One study found that mothers who correctly talked about their baby’s emotions were more likely to have babies with a secure attachment. Talking about their feelings helps tamariki in several ways. It helps children feel understood, it gives them words they can use about their feelings in the future, and the sense of being understood means they will probably calm more quickly too. On the other hand, the wellintentioned tendency to tell an upset child” You’re ok,” when they clearly aren’t is a missed opportunity. Whilst it’s important to accept our children’s feelings, this does not always mean that we accept the ways in which they express their feelings. Children need support to learn that it’s ok to feel angry or disappointed, but it’s not ok to hit their brother or sister. Parents can accept their child’s feelings and point of view, without necessarily agreeing with them. When parents can talk about, and accept, all types of emotions, their tamariki are better able to learn

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about their own feelings, and also those of others. A parent’s ability to accurately ‘read their child’s mind’ is an important aspect of this. It’s not just what parents say, but the way in which it is said that makes a difference. Some aspects of this include empathy for how the child is feeling and having the child’s perspective as the focus. Parents can try and make an educated guess, for example, “You got such a fright when your balloon popped, didn’t you?” Sometimes parents are tempted to avoid talking about difficult things, such as a death in the family, or a child’s medical treatment, perhaps because they wish to avoid further upsetting their child. Let’s be honest, such conversations can be hard. However, when tamariki have had upsetting or painful experiences, being able to talk about these when they need to can help them better understand and cope with their experiences. Children may come back to the topic over and over again, and that’s to be expected because this is an important part of them trying to understand what’s happened. Books and other media can also be helpful in promoting talking about feelings, and in dealing with difficult situations. Talking about such experiences can help tamariki to connect the events with how they felt about it, increasing their ability to make sense of what’s happened to them. These talks also help children develop their ability to be more aware of themselves. It’s through their interactions with parents and wha-nau that babies and young children learn about themselves, the world and the other people in it.

Parents can help children connect what they have done with the way it has affected others.

Putting things right All babies will experience times when they are not responded to straight away. All parents and wha-nau will make mistakes, missing a need or responding in ways that aren’t helpful. Sometimes parents are caring for another child, cooking dinner, or taking an overdue shower. Maybe they’re operating on very little sleep. While this may be distressing for babies, once parents realise this and do respond, their baby’s stress response system is likely to return to normal. This process of a communication breakdown followed

by reconnecting is sometimes called ‘rupture and repair’. Another way of thinking about this is the parent is ´putting things right´. In fact, as long as baby’s needs are met much of the time, some of these unavoidable disruptions can even be helpful. The process of not being responded to, or being responded to in a way that didn’t meet baby’s needs, can help them to develop coping skills, so long as once the parent realises what’s happened, they put things right. Through having these ruptures between parent and child that are

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The magazine of Parents Centre

The social and emotional skills that tamariki develop impact many areas of their life.

Exploration and closeness Children have two different, but related, sets of needs. Their need for closeness (both physically and emotionally) with their parents, and their need to explore. This can be quite a balancing act, as daily pe-pi and tamariki (of all ages) will move between both these needs many times.

repaired, tamariki learn to tolerate brief times of difficult feelings, and to be able to move from difficult feelings back to more pleasant feelings. Occasional disconnections are a normal part of any relationship. Rather than beating ourselves up for our inevitable mistakes, taking responsibility and finding ways to meet our child’s needs will be much more helpful, for everyone. Sometimes this involves saying that we’re sorry. This can be hard for parents, especially those whose own childhoods did not include apologies from adults when needed. Like most skills, it becomes easier with practice. Good parenting doesn’t mean there are no ruptures, but it does mean that they’re usually repaired soon after. Ruptures, when followed by repair, can strengthen the parentchild relationship.

Thinking of others When parents talk about the way others are feeling in everyday situations, they are helping their child develop compassion for others. It’s also a necessary part of the child learning about socially acceptable behaviour. Parents can help children

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connect what they have done with the way it has affected others. Noticing and commenting on the helpful, kind things a child does is key. For example, “Maia stopped crying when you picked up the toy she dropped. Look how happy she is now!” Remember, children are learning, but paying attention to their attempts at more socialised behaviour is likely to encourage more of it in the future. Children thrive on encouragement. When a child’s behaviour has affected someone in a negative way, rather than just talking about what they did, help them to see how it has affected the other person. For example, “Liam cried when you hit him. He looks very sad.” Talking like this will help children understand how what they did has affected others and understand the reasons why some behaviour is not acceptable. Conversations about emotions help tamariki understand the causes and the consequences of their own feelings and the feelings of others. These conversations can also help children learn to regulate their emotions and can influence their moral learning and teach them values.

Through following their curiosity and exploring, children are learning about the world and developing important skills. They will gain most from this when wha-nau support and encourage them, but don’t force them to do things before they are ready. From a young age, tamariki will look to their parents to see whether what they’re doing is safe and check that their parents are watching out for them. Parents need to be looking out for their child’s safety, but also to be aware of the messages they might be sending their children about their exploration. Are they showing their support by the words, tone of voice, facial expressions that they use? For example, showing interest in what they’ve found in the garden is more likely to encourage further curiosity and exploration, while a horrified face at their muddy clothes may have the opposite effect. Once safety has been addressed, supporting as much exploration (and the mess it sometimes creates!) as a child is ready for, will hugely benefit their development. All great adventures, large and small, come to an end. Perhaps a child has become tired, hungry, or had a fright. Regardless of the reason, children

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need to feel welcomed back by their parent. When parents provide the comfort or reassurance their child needs, their tamaiti feels more able to carry on exploring. Being able to go off and explore under their parents’ watchful eyes, and come back over and over again, is how tamariki will ultimately grow to become independent. Many parents wrongly believe they make their children independent by forcing them to do things that are hard for them. In fact, knowing they have support and love is what will lead to independence.

What you do really matters The social and emotional skills that tamariki develop impact many areas of their life. Whatever parents’ hopes and dreams for their children are – doing well at school, being mentally healthy, staying out of trouble, gaining employment – all of these, and more, will be helped by positive emotional and social development, beginning in their early years. What parents and wha-nau do really matters. However, perfect parenting is not required. Good enough, and most of the time, will do. Thank goodness perfection is neither attainable nor needed by tamariki. 

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Ready, set...

go! Getting ready for preschool or childcare

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It can be a daunting task finding the right childcare centre for your child – the thought alone is often scary enough! You have spent all this precious time with your child and know them better than anyone, and now you are going to leave them in someone else’s care. The process of finding the right centre can be the hardest part. Once your child is settled in a centre it is likely that they will begin to really enjoy their time in care, form new special friendships and develop wonderful early childhood memories. Over the years the stigma of early childhood being no more than a ‘babysitting’ service has steadily declined. Centres these days offer amazing educational programmes and experiences for children, while they provide a caring and nurturing environment for children to grow and develop. What is ‘right’ in a centre can mean different things to different people. Some parents may place their importance on the atmosphere or the child-to-teacher ratios, while others may be more concerned with fees or location. It is a very individual choice, and sometimes the deciding factor is simply that the centre just ‘feels’ right. There are some key indicators you can look for to make sure that you are selecting a high quality childcare centre.

What are your first impressions? Take a look at how the children are behaving. Is the boisterous, active child being stimulated and engaged? Is a hurt or sad child being responded to appropriately and acknowledged? While for a first time visitor any centre may seem as though it is loud and busy, the attention to detail may mean the difference between a well-run centre and a poorly run centre. You might assess how the teachers interact with the children, with one another – and with you. Are you made to feel welcome when you arrive? Do the teachers greet you or smile? A centre is often only as good as its teachers and its management. You could have the most beautiful centre with all the bells and whistles, but if the teachers are unhappy and not passionate about their jobs then it is like an empty present.

After a child has been left in care a few times with swift and honest goodbyes, they learn that although you are going, you always return.

Often you are able to get a feel for these things when you visit a centre, but it can be hard to notice the finer details when you don’t know what to look for and you are already so overwhelmed at the idea of placing your child in care. But it is important to take your time and not rush this important decision. Be sure to compare centres and ensure you get a good understanding of your options. If your child is with you on your centre visits, be sure to watch them and read their reactions and emotions. How are they responding to this new environment, and to the teachers and other children around them?

Transitioning into care Once you have chosen a centre, your child’s transition into care should start with ‘settling in’ visits before your child’s official first day in a centre. These are short visits to the centre where you will stay with your child during their time there. How many of these visits there will be can vary from centre to centre, but in general, the more opportunity you have to settle your child into care, the easier the transition will be. During these visits with you present, your child will slowly learn that it is a safe environment. Ideally, you will want them to start exploring away from you and interacting with the other

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children before you have to leave them by themselves at the centre for the first time. When you are carrying out settling visits, be present with your child, however, try not to jump in and do things for them, or conversely try and push them to venture away from you. Your child will do this when they are comfortable, irrespective of their age. If you are comfortable and relaxed, the chances are your child will be too; if you are stressed and anxious then they are more likely to pick up on this and mimic your emotions. Try instead to talk to the teachers and interact with the other children if they initiate it. Eventually your child will come to understand that this is a safe environment and a fun new place where they are valued and respected.

Let it go When it comes time to actually leave your child, whether it is for a short period or for the whole day, most teachers recommend the best thing to do is to say goodbye, and not to try and sneak away. If you suddenly leave your child while they are happily off playing, it is likely that at some point they will seek you out. Your child may then become panicked when they realise that you are no longer there, and this is likely to cause prolonged stress for your child and can create a feeling of abandonment.

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So it is important to address your child before you leave and to tell them that you are going, but that you will return. Try to make it positive, even though it can be difficult for you emotionally – if you are sad that you are leaving then your child will pick up those vibes and also be sad. Also, try not to be upset if your child simply says goodbye and then happily skips off; this is a great sign that they are happy in your chosen centre and feel comfortable and secure – they will still be happy to come home with you at the end of the day. Once you have said goodbye it is important to then leave, even if your child is crying and begging you to stay. While this may be devastating, to go rushing back to your child is sending them mixed messages and will only confuse them and make the situation more difficult. Often, a child who cries when their parent leaves for the first time is seen to be happily playing with other children in no time. The more the act of leaving is drawn out, the more upset a child – and parent – can get. After a child has been left in care a few times with swift and honest goodbyes, they learn that although you are going, you always return. Soon the tears will subside and if you have chosen your centre well you may soon find it hard to get them in the car to take them home! At the end of the day, the best result is that you are happy in your decision, and your child is too.

Questions to ask the Childcare Director/Supervisor How many children are enrolled and what is the teacher-tochild ratio? Judge the number of children enrolled in relation to both indoor and outdoor space. How do teachers manage conflict between children? How do they guide the children’s behaviour? Will any staff member have primary responsibility for my child? What are the qualifications and experience of the staff? Are staff registered teachers? To be registered to teach in an ECE centre you must be degree qualified (ECE at level 7). All staff working with children must be safety checked under the law. The safety check includes a police vet.

What are the arrangements in case of an accident or medical emergency? What are the rest and sleep provisions? Does each child have a bed or bedding? What are the arrangements for children who wake early or do not need a sleep? What types of meals and snacks are provided? You will need this information in order to plan a balanced diet for your child each day. What is the fee structure? Does the centre offer 20 hours free ECE? Parents may be eligible for a Childcare Subsidy. Is there a fee if a child is absent due to parents’ holidays or a child’s illness?

How is the centre operated and organised? Are parents included in the governance of the centre?

How are children introduced to the centre? Can you stay with your child for a while?

What is the daily schedule? Is it flexible or rigid? Are the children able to rest when they are tired or only during set times?

Is the centre a member of Te Rito Maioha Early Childhood New Zealand? The Association promotes a high standard of early childhood education for children in childcare services.

Is the timetable able to be altered to allow more time for interesting happenings? The flexibility of the schedule is often related to the number of staff available.

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What information can the centre provide that will help with the enrolment decision?

What happens if a child becomes ill during the day? All centres must provide facilities for the isolation of a sick child. What medical or first aid training do staff members have? The legal requirement is one first aider per 50 children. Even small centres should have at least two trained first aiders so there is cover for breaks or staff absences.

Find out more Te Rito Maioha – Early Childhood New Zealand www.ecnz.ac.nz

tommeetippee.co.nz The magazine of Parents Centre 29

Build the relationship with child and wha-nau This is my view on how parents and kaiako (teachers) can help with a better transition for preschoolers of all ages beginning to attend a centre, kindergarten or start home-based care. Obviously, have as many visits as possible so that your child can become familiar with their new environment, routine and the kaiako. It is also vital that the kaiako talks in front of the child with their parents. This helps the child to see that their wha-nau and this new person are building a genuine relationship, where the child will see laughter, listening and a reciprocal relationship starting. I believe this will help the child to feel less anxious and scared. I believe that building a relationship with the child and their wha-nau is the most important part of any child's life. If you have wha-nau where ESOL (Adult English for Speakers of Other Languages) is involved then you will need to pay close attention and spend more time with these families. This will ensure you build a positive and trusting relationship where they can come to you at any time knowing that you have their best interests at heart and know that you will never make assumptions or judge them. Secondly, parents you need to ko-rero (talk) with your child about what is going to take place, inform them about what is going on. Give them reassurance that preschool will be fun and you will be going home to do boring things such as doing the washing and cleaning the house. This way the child will know that they will not be missing out on anything and they learn that they would rather have fun with their new friends. Remember if your child is upset, crying, angry, or shy at first THAT IS OK! It will pass. As adults, we feel these emotions too, and your child has the right to feel these emotions and genuinely show them. But talk to your child, comfort them as they go through this process. They are genuine individuals who are still learning how to control their emotions. So don’t feel embarrassed. When it is time to leave them, try to incorporate your child’s interest, maybe start them on an activity such as construction with the blocks, or music with the shakers. You can encourage

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their literacy by reading a book – even better a book that they really like. I am a mother of two and my children are complete opposites. My first child would cling to me when I dropped him off, so I stayed for ten minutes and then I would have to leave for work. But I remember my child standing at the window crying for me. I would feel like the worst mum in the world. I would park the car around the corner and have a cry myself before heading to work … late. After a week of this I noticed that my son was starting to understand the routine and he knew that his mum or dad would always be there to pick him up at the end of the day. So my advice is to be patient – it will only get better. I believe you need to have continuity. When things get difficult, don’t think that keeping your child at home will help. When you go back to the centre or kindergarten your child will be starting at day one again.

When your child does do something amazing, give them heaps of praise and tell them how proud you are. This will help build their self-esteem, and they will feel confident and proud in knowing that they can do anything. I believe that we should tell our children what emotions we are using. This will help them to recognise the emotions that they are experiencing and they will learn how to deal with them. For instance, use words like angry, sad, proud, scared, shy, happy, and lonely because this will help the child to communicate their feelings to others in a more positive way. When you are looking for a centre, kindergaten or other form of education for your child, ask your friends about their experiences. They will give you a heads-up on what to expect. Think about location especially if you have more then one child to drop off each morning – try to find a location that’s going to be fuel efficient and easy for you. Surf the internet to find places and check

out their Facebook pages. Then go for a visit, because this is when you will use all your senses to know if this environment feels right for you and your child. 

Rebecca Hansen Rebecca is an ECE teacher based in Invercargill and was the winner of the Certificate of National Excellence for her outstanding contributions to Community Engagement in the 2016 ASG National Excellence in Teaching Awards.

The magazine of Parents Centre

Understanding

coronavirus

The start of 2020 saw the world gripped by news of a new virus taking hold in China and spreading to other countries around the world. Hard on the heels of the measles scares of 2019, this news has been scary â&#x20AC;&#x201C; even here in the relative isolated safety of Aotearoa. Vaccinologist and Associate Professor in the University of Auckland's Faculty of Medical and Health Sciences, Dr Helen PetousisHarris says the emergence of novel coronavirus is not exceptional, as infectious diseases regularly take hold in every country of the world. â&#x20AC;&#x153;What is new is the fact we have the technology to identify it fast, track it, stop it, cure it, and vaccinate against it. We are literally watching the birth of a new human infection in real time. But what is also new is that never before has there been so much true, and false, information exploding through our media channels, of which there are vast numbers, reaching almost every community on earth.â&#x20AC;? Dr Petousis-Harris explains this unprecedented flow of information has enabled remarkable progress to be made in both controlling the outbreak as well as discovering potential cures and vaccines. However, along with useful

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facts have come rumours and misinformation, which have led to confusion, fear, politicking, stigmatisation, hysteria, and even xenophobia. Although there are lots of uncertainties in a constantly evolving situation, families and communities should look for information from credible sources, such as midwives, GPs, pharmacists and other trusted people. We can all help counter the misinfodemic by fact-checking before sharing and sharing good information from a reputable source. Fact-checking websites like snopes. com can be useful places to visit as well.

What exactly is coronavirus (covid-19)? Coronaviruses are a large and diverse family of viruses which includes the common cold, severe acute respiratory syndrome (SARS) and Middle East respiratory

syndrome. On 31 December 2019, China advised the World Health Organisation of a viral respiratory illness in Wuhan, China. In January 2020, officials identified a new coronavirus called severe acute respiratory syndrome coronavirus 2. The disease caused by this new virus has been named covid-19. As this is a new virus, there is currently no vaccine available and information shows most people with this virus are not severely ill. To date there is one confirmed case in New Zealand.

What are the symptoms? Coronavirus symptoms are much like a range of other illnesses such as flu and do not necessarily mean that you have the virus. Symptoms include fever, coughing and trouble breathing. Difficulty breathing can be a sign of pneumonia and you should immediately seek medical attention. It is not yet clear how long symptoms take to show after

If you have a fever, cough or difficulty breathing: please telephone the dedicated Healthline 0800 number for free on

Protect COVID-19 yourself and others against

0800 358 5453

Cover your coughs or sneezes with tissues or your elbow Put your used tissue in the rubbish bin or in a plastic bag

a person has been infected, but current assessments suggest that it is between two and ten days. Like the flu, coronavirus can be transmitted from person to person. Scientific evidence confirms that it is spread by droplets – when an infected person coughs, sneezes or talks, they may generate tiny droplets containing the virus. These droplets are too large to stay in the air, so they quickly settle on surrounding surfaces. Such diseases can be spread by:

Wash and dry your hands often, especially after coughing or sneezing – use soap or hand sanitiser Stay away from others if you’re unwell

COVID-19

HEALTH ADVICE 0800 358 5453

For international SIMs call +64 9 358 5453

health.govt.nz/COVID-19

Protect your family/wha-nau from COVID-19 (coronavirus) February 2020 | HP7328

coughing and sneezing close personal contact c ontact with an object or surface with viral particles on it and then touching your mouth, nose or eyes. That's why it's really important to practise good hygiene, regularly wash and thoroughly dry your hands, and practice good cough etiquette.

I am pregnant – should I be concerned? Dr Caroline McElnay Director of Public Health at the Ministry of Health says there is no specific advice for pregnant women at present. “Even so, this is a good opportunity to promote information about preventing all sorts of

viral illnesses,” Dr McElnay says. “Parents can teach their children the importance of hand hygiene and cough etiquette and make sure they practise social distancing from

ill people. We continue to encourage pregnant women to get their flu vaccination.” 

Find out more www.health.govt.nz/our-work/diseases-and-conditions/ covid-19-novel-coronavirus There is a dedicated free healthline number available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for coronavirus health advice and information 0800 358 5453 (or for international SIMs +64 9 358 5453) People calling that line will be able to talk with a member of the National Telehealth Service. They have access to interpreters.

The magazine of Parents Centre

kiwiparent

Going back to

work or study? The idea of managing breastfeeding and working or studying can seem overwhelming, but with some forward planning, it can work.

for them? What could you do differently that might help it work for you?

Returning to work or study and having to leave your baby with someone else can be a hard decision. Having to work out how, or if, you can continue to provide your baby with breastmilk can be an added worry. At times it can almost seem like one thing too many to have to work out.

Think about who is going to look after your baby for you, and where that is in relation to where you are working/studying. Is the childcare facility close enough to work that you can go there to feed your baby, or will you need to provide expressed milk to be given to your baby? Can your baby be brought to you during the day so that you can feed your baby at work/study?

If you have time to plan for your return to work or study, then that can be helpful from both a practical and emotional point of view. After the first few weeks a mother’s milk supply is generally well established and therefore more robust and able to cope with changes to feeding routines. So, what can you do to make the transition as easy as possible?

Talk about it Talking to your employer before you go on maternity leave is a great idea. Although you may not be certain that you are going to breastfeed at all at this stage, if you make the assumption you are going to, and plan accordingly, then you will have set the stage for a return to work/study as a breastfeeding mother. This can give both your employer and you time to think about what you would need when you return to work: breaks to express or go and feed your baby, somewhere to feed/ express, and somewhere to store breastmilk are a few things you might want to consider. Talk to friends who have returned to work or study while breastfeeding their baby. What did or didn’t work

Who will care for your baby?

How will baby be fed? If you are not going to be able to breastfeed your baby directly during breaks, how is your baby going to be fed your expressed milk? If your baby is quite young, then you are likely to want your baby to be fed with a bottle, however if your baby is a bit older, then you may find that they are able to drink milk from a cup. Feeding a baby from a bottle is a bit different than breastfeeding, but there are tips for bottle feeding babies in a breastfeeding friendly fashion: letting the baby have control over when they stop/start, giving them breaks, feeding them held on both the left and right sides… just as they would do when breastfeeding.

Do a trial run Some mothers find it useful to have a trial run. Go out for a few hours just as if you were going to be at work and let someone else feed your baby your expressed milk – often if you try to feed expressed milk yourself, your baby will refuse knowing that your breasts are right there! A trial run also gives you the opportunity to see how your breasts cope with your expected expressing routine. Sometimes the trial can work really well, but if your baby decides that they are not going

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to take expressed milk without a little protest, it can end up making things feel even more difficult! Some babies will hold out for breastfeeding and will take enough expressed milk to stay hydrated and comfortable, and then feed lots and lots when they are back with their mum – extra feeding overnight is quite usual during this phase. Older babies can be given expressed milk mixed with food too, or frozen into little ice blocks. If your baby does seem a little reluctant to take expressed milk, it can be useful to provide expressed milk in small quantities; this enables the carer to heat just a small amount of milk each time rather than prepare a larger quantity only to throw it away!

Start expressing early It can be useful to start expressing before you return to work or study. This can help you get used to expressing as even with copious quantities of milk, it can sometimes be hard to express. It can also be useful to have some extra milk in the freezer in case your baby drinks more than you expected, and to cope with growth spurts if you are unable to express extra at work. It is common for babies to take more from a bottle than they would have when drinking from the breast. This is due to the faster and easier flow of the milk from even a slow flow teat.

Take the easy route Think about what you need to take to work with you to make expressing as easy as possible. Sometimes having a picture of your baby or one of their small blankets can help; thinking of your baby, thinking of them feeding, thinking about milk flowing… all these things can help when you express. In the first few days back to work

you may feel more engorged than usual, and you may leak breastmilk, even if you haven’t done for a while… especially if you think of your baby. Taking extra breast pads to work may be useful, or even having a spare top with you just in case! Wearing dark tops helps hide any damp patches too!

Start early Aim to feed your baby as soon as you wake up (you may need to get up a bit earlier than usual), even if your baby is still sleepy. Feed again if you can before you leave home, otherwise at your baby’s daycare before you leave to start your workday. If you are able to, go to your baby to feed them at lunchtime. Feed your baby again at daycare when you collect them at the end of your day, then on demand when you are at home. This can help to maintain supply and minimise the amount of expressing you need to do during the day.

Supply issues Over time, you may feel that your supply is dropping. However, it is likely that when you are with your baby you will have plenty of milk to breastfeed. Effective expressing when you are away from your baby will help to minimise the risk of a drop in supply. It can help to use a combination of expressing with a pump and by hand – often, extra milk can be removed by hand after using a pump. Once your supply is well established it can be quite resilient and over time can adjust to breastfeeding more on certain days of the week than others. So even if you feel your supply has dropped, it may be that it is reduced on work/study days, but perfectly adequate at the times you are with your baby, especially if you are able to feed on demand when you are with your baby.

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More comfort, more milk When you are comfortable and relaxed your milk flows more easily. Our breast pumps are designed so you can sit comfortably, with no need to lean forward. Our silky, soft massage cushion stimulates your milk flow mimicking babyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s suckling.

www.philips.co.nz/avent www.facebook.com/Philips.Avent.NewZealand

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Take care of yourself Denise’s mum and her daughter

Make sure you continue to eat healthily and drink to thirst – there is no need to drink extra water. It can be easy to forget to look after yourself in the rush to get to work, express, do your work and get back to your baby. Keep talking to your employer once you have had your baby. If you feel uncomfortable about starting the conversation, it can be helpful to send an email with your ideas and thoughts about how you would like things to work. It may be that you can make the move back to work or study in stages so that you can start with shorter or fewer days per week, gradually working up to the hours you will be working long term. 

Useful links www.lalecheleague.org.nz/get-help www.llli.org/breastfeeding-info/bottles www.employment.govt.nz/hours-and-wages/ breaks/breastfeeding-at-work www.health.govt.nz/your-health/pregnancyand-kids/first-year/helpful-advice-during-firstyear/breastfeeding-perfect-you-and-your-baby/ breastfeeding-and-returning-work www.health.govt.nz/your-health/healthy-living/ food-activity-and-sleep/guidance-nutrition-andphysical-activity-workplaces/guidance-supportingbreastfeeding-mothers-returning-work

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Denise Ives Denise is a La Leche League leader based in Dunedin, where she has lived for 10 years since leaving England. She is also a qualifed Breastfeeding Counsellor, having completed a diploma in England with the University of Bedfordshire and National Childbirth Trust. Denise founded The Breast Room® in Dunedin, a drop-in breastfeeding support clinic where parents can go for free one-to-one breastfeeding support. Denise has two children aged 26 years and 16 years, and a 5-year-old granddaughter. Denise enjoys walking her dogs, playing clarinet, reading and knitting.

In this section Parents supporting midwives Teddy Bears Picnic in Auckland East Around the Centres

Supporting parents through the early years because great parents grow great children

Spotlight on Moving and Munching classes Photo: Tauranga Parents Centre

Parents Centres is passionate about the importance of quality parenting and how this affects children’s futures. Each stage of child development is so very different so we offer programmes for all stages – from your pregnancy and those memorable first newborn months right through to the developing years and onto school age. We know what it takes to be an effective parent. While it can be hugely rewarding it can also be very challenging, and we focus on giving parents the knowledge and tools they require to raise capable, confident and contributing children – and giving them the best start in life. Although we are well known for our expertly facilitated Childbirth Education classes, that’s not all we do! Our renowned parent education programmes focus on children up to six years of age and include: Baby and You – advice and tips on surviving and enjoying those first months with your newborn. Moving and Munching – exploring your baby’s first foods and developmental stages. Music and Movement – stimulating music activities for your baby and toddler. Tinies to Tots – your emerging adventurous toddler and coping strategies. Parenting with Purpose – consciously focusing on how you want to parent your child. Magic Moments – strategies for discipline and communication with your child. Return to Work – advice for parents on returning to the paid workforce after taking time out to have children.

Photo: Balclutha Parents Centre

Our Centres are found throughout New Zealand and run numerous other specialised courses, primarily driven by local needs. To locate a Centre near you and to find out more about programmes running in your area visit: www.parentscentre.org.nz 

The magazine of Parents Centre

2020

International Year of the Midwife

Celebrating Midwives

A close and valuable partnership Parents Centre and midwives The International Year of the Midwife provides the opportunity for Parents Centre to acknowledge, celebrate and join with our midwifery colleagues across New Zealand. Parents Centreâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s relationship with midwives is long standing and valuable to both parents and our organisations. Through Parents Centreâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s almost 70 years, we have been working together with our midwifery workforce advocating for and supporting parents throughout their pregnancy, childbirth and transition to parenthood journey. The relationship is so important and for many years Sharron Cole, who was the Chief Executive of the Midwifery Council until her retirement at the end of 2019, was also the chair of the Parents Centre Board. The four key themes of the International Year wonderfully sum up the relationship between midwives and our organisation: celebrate, demonstrate, mobilise and unite. We are celebrating with midwives, acknowledging the essential role they have in our society. New Zealand was the pioneer in introducing the midwife as the lead maternity carer, continuity of care model that many other countries envy; and rightly so, much of which our new parents take for granted as their standard service.

Above: College of Midwives Elder, Sue Bree, talks at the Parliamentary Breakfast to celebrate the 2020 Year of the Midwife.

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As a country we have done much to strengthen the midwifery profession, and outcomes for wahine and pepi. However, the current situation we have with the underfunding of midwives, reflects their undervaluing at a government level. Parents Centre is out there advocating and mobilising with midwives at a national and local level. Parents Centre has been actively promoting the Petition to Parliament and will continue to push for greater recognition of the critical role midwives play in ensuring the well-being of New Zealand children as they enter the world. In the same way that Parents Centre ensures all our information to parents is sound, evidence-based and up-to-date, we know that our midwives, through their training and practice are able to demonstrate the positive impact of their service and support to mums and their babies. Care from a competent and qualified midwife during pregnancy, birth and the post-natal period is a human right for women and newborn babies everywhere. Through this close relationship, Parents Centre and midwives unite in their care and support for parents so that together we are able to fulfill our mission: positive birth experiences and informed parenting in a community where parents are supported and highly values in their role. Heather Hayden Chief Executive, Parents Centres New Zealand

Teddy Bears Picnic Auckland East Parents Centre hosted the region's first free Teddy Bears Picnic for all families to enjoy! This fun event had plenty of activities for the whole family, with food and two teddy bears picnic sessions where children and their teddy bears could have a tea party with everyone else and play games. The day was a great success with around 200 attendees â&#x20AC;&#x201C; so many people came up to us to say how much they appreciated us for putting on the event. We will be making this an annual thing! The team at Auckland East Parents Centre

The magazine of Parents Centre

Around the Centres Loving it in Balclutha Our first playgroup back at the rooms and it was a big happy second birthday to Elsie. The children also made beautiful Valentine’s Day cards for the following day. Nicola Law Balclutha Parents Centre

Twelve Trees of Christmas in Tauranga Tauranga City Council and The Incubator Creative Hub brought a community and arts focus to Christmas in their city centre. The Twelve Trees of Christmas featured 12 trees decorated by local schools, tertiary organisations and community groups, including Tauranga Parents Centre. They were displayed in Red Square and on the waterfront. The installation provided an opportunity to celebrate a uniquely Kiwi Christmas that captivated locals and visitors in the lead up to the festive season. Tauranga City Council Mayor Greg Brownless said the Twelve Trees of Christmas was a unique way to bring some festive cheer to the city centre. “We see it as a project for the community, by the community. It’s an opportunity for more than 700 people in the community to see their artistic talent on show,” he said. These trees are hand crafted with wooden tiles decorated by each organisation,” explains Tauranga Parents Centre President Jenner Ballinger-Judd. “Some of the tiles were created by our committee members and we also held a craft session for families to come in and have their child's handprint glittered onto a bauble to decorate the tree.” 

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Each edition of Kiwiparent profiles one of Parents Centre's renowned parent education programmes.

This month the spotlight is on:

Moving and Munching Your baby’s emerging exploration of the environment and discovery of first foods It’s an exciting time. Your baby is moving on; discovering first foods and becoming more active, and already (or soon to be) making those first attempts at crawling. As a new parent it can be difficult to know how to go about introducing solid foods and what issues you need to be aware of now that your baby is (or is getting closer to) being on the move! The ‘Munching’ focus of this programme explores the following: w hen and how to start to introduce solids into your baby’s diet how to continue to include milk in your baby’s diet e xploring the need for changes in textures, tastes and the quantity of solids over time w ays to encourage your baby to develop healthy attitudes to food.

Development milestones vary widely from child to child. This programme includes information on physical, cognitive (or intellectual), language and social (emotional) development. It stresses that no baby can be compared to another when it comes to development – they are all unique and all reach developmental milestones at different times. Throughout the programme you will hear from a variety of expert guest speakers, all of whom are familiar and experienced with the changes your baby is going through in this 6–12 month age group. Speakers may include a dietitian or nutritionist, a paediatric or Plunket nurse, a paediatrician or an infant feeding advisor. Parents often ask what the signs are for development stages, both in terms of movement and in terms of diet. This programme gives you the opportunity to openly discuss concerns and to learn about balancing baby’s dietary intake as well as understanding and exploring a variety of activities that you as a parent can introduce and enjoy with your little one.

The ‘Moving’ focus of this programme explores the following:

Developmentally the ‘Moving and Munching’ 6–12-month-old stage is a fascinating one, and parents who are armed with the right information will enjoy it all the more.

identifying areas of your home environment that might need safety-proofing now that your baby’s mobility and manipulative skills are developing

Contact your local Centre through www.parentscentre.org.nz for details for programmes running in your area. 

e ncouraging the development of your baby’s fine and gross motor skills by identifying ageappropriate play and toys i dentifying areas of language, intellectual and social development that help to stimulate your baby’s learning.

The magazine of Parents Centre

Find a Centre near you Parents Centres span the entire country with 47 locations around New Zealand. Contact your local Centre for details of programmes and support available in your area, or go to:

www.parentscentre.org.nz

North Island Auckland Region 1 Whanga-rei Waitemata Bays North Harbour Hibiscus Coast - newa O

Bay of Plenty Tauranga Whakata-ne Rotorua TaupoTaranaki

Auckland Region 2

New Plymouth

Auckland East

Stratford

Papakura

South Taranaki

Manukau

East Coast North Island

Franklin

Central Hawke's Bay

Auckland Region 3

Hawke's Bay

West Auckland

Central Districts

Central Auckland

Palmerston North

East & Bays

Wairarapa

Waikato Thames-Hauraki

Wellington Ka-piti

Morrinsville

Lower Hutt

Hamilton

Mana

Cambridge

Upper Hutt

Putaruru

Wellington North

Otorohanga

Wellington South

South Island Northern South Island Nelson Marlborough Greymouth Canterbury Region Ashburton Christchurch Timaru Oamaru Southern Region Alexandra Balclutha Dunedin Gore Taieri

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Great parents

grow great kids

Arm yourself with knowledge as you grow as a parent alongside your child, by taking part in one of the Parents Centre programmes that run nationwide. Having a new baby is a time of significant change – your brain is working overtime with questions and your body is going through amazing changes. It's quite a journey. Parents Centre has been supporting parents for 65 years. Become a member of Parents Centre and we can support you too! You’ll get access to quality pregnancy, childbirth and parent education that will help you gain invaluable knowledge on your pregnancy, childbirth and early parenting journey. It’s a great way to meet other new parents who are on the same journey as you. They often become lifelong friends. You get support through coffee groups that meet on a regular basis, and ongoing education programmes to help you navigate the stages of pregnancy and parenthood. With 47 Centres nationwide, we provide many opportunities for social engagement for both parents and children. Many of our Centres offer playgroups and music classes, and these are a great way to learn with your children while you get to socialise with other parents at the same time.

You also gain skills and experience that will be a real asset when you decide to rejoin the workforce. We look forward to having you join our Parents Centre family and supporting you on your parenting journey! Early Pregnancy – a special programme tailored for your 12th to 24th week of pregnancy. Pregnancy, Childbirth and Parent Education (Antenatal) – essential information to prepare you for childbirth and early parenting. Baby and You – practical and sensible tips and advice for enjoying and making the most of those first months with your newborn. Parenting with Purpose – consciously focusing on how you want to parent and how your child ticks. Return to Work – advice for preparing and returning to the paid workforce. Magic Moments – strategies for positive communication and discipline with your child. Moving and Munching – exploring baby's first foods and developmental stages.

As a Parents Centre member you will receive loads of free giveaways and samples, as well as special discount shopping days, and discounted products and services exclusive to Parents Centre members. Who doesn’t love freebies and discounts!

Music and Movement – stimulating music activities for your baby and toddler.

Many of our members gain so much from being a Parents Centre member that they want to ‘give back’ and become volunteers for their local Centre, ensuring that new parents can continue to benefit from the skills, knowledge, friendships and support they’ve received.

www.parentscentre.org.nz 

Tinies to Tots – positively encouraging your emerging adventurous toddler.

The magazine of Parents Centre

TLC

Taking care of your breasts

It is sobering to know that one in nine women will develop breast cancer at some time in their life. Your risk can change based on your lifestyle, personal history or family history. The incidence of breast cancer increases as women age. While most breast cancers occur in women over 50, whatever your age, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s important to be aware of any changes in your breasts, and if they persist, have them checked by your doctor.

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Reduce your breast cancer risk There are some risk factors that you can change. It’s important for you to understand these, as it may help you make some lifestyle changes. You can then also talk with your doctor about the surveillance and screening that is best for you. Your weight (especially after menopause) Your level of physical activity Your use of alcohol Your use of certain medications Childbearing and breastfeeding Disrupted sleeping patterns

Risk factors we can’t change Unfortunately, you have no control over these risk factors. It’s still important to be aware of them, so you can talk to your doctor about the surveillance and screening you need. Being a woman Getting older Having a family history of cancer Breast density

Your breasts may feel heavy or tender before your period, so the best time to check is after your period finishes, once any discomfort has settled down. Show your doctor if you have any unusual symptoms that don't go away after your period, particularly if you can feel a lump, or thickened tissue in your breast, or notice a discharge or any skin or nipple changes. Of course, most changes are not caused by breast cancer but it’s important to have any new changes properly checked.

Learn to be breast aware Even if you’re having regular mammograms, it’s still very important to check your breasts regularly. Once you’re aware of what your breasts normally look and feel like, it’s easier to spot any unusual changes. The best time to check is after your period, after any tenderness or swelling has settled down. If you see anything abnormal, show your doctor immediately. While most breast cancers are detected either on a screening mammogram, or when a lump is felt in the breast, it’s still important to be aware of other signs which may indicate cancer.

How do I check my breasts? The Breast Cancer Foundation says it is as simple as TLC – Touch Look Check.

How do I take care of my breasts?

Many women have not been in the habit of checking their own breasts and feel nervous about doing it. Just start by getting to know what your breasts normally look like.

The best thing you can do to protect yourself is to be breast aware from the age of 20. This means knowing how your breasts normally look and feel and regularly checking for any unusual changes.

C heck in the mirror, both front on and side to side. Lift your arms above your head and see if this produces any distortion in breast shape. Check the underside of your breasts too.

Having previous breast issues

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How do I enrol in BreastScreen Aotearoa’s free screening programme? From age 45 – 69 you can have a free mammogram, once every two years, through BreastScreen Aotearoa. The free service is available in centres around New Zealand. There is also has a mobile screening unit, which travels to smaller towns throughout the year. Once you turn 45 you can register for this service by phoning 0800 270 200 or register online.

It’s less common than most people think – only 5–10% of all breast cancers are hereditary. Around 8 out of 10 women who get breast cancer don’t have any family history of the disease. Most breast cancers are sporadic, which means they occurred by chance or due to factors other than an inherited mutation. W ith one hand on your head, use the other hand to check your breast for lumps or unusual thickened tissue. U se the flat of three fingers rather than fingertips, and press quite firmly. Repeat on the other side. If you’re unsure how to check your breasts, visit the Breast Cancer Foundation for more advice.

What can I do to help prevent myself from getting breast cancer? You can reduce your lifetime risk of breast cancer by adopting a few healthy lifestyle choices while you are still young. B e active. Regular exercise is associated with a decrease in the lifetime risk of breast cancer. M aintain a healthy body weight. Women who are overweight or obese have a higher risk of breast cancer after the menopause so it’s important to adopt healthy eating patterns early in life. Eat plenty of fruit and vegetables and stay away from junk food or make it only an occasional treat. L imit alcohol. Alcoholic drinks raise the levels of oestrogen in the body and contribute to breast cancer risk.

Your risk of breast cancer begins to increase in your 40s, so it’s time to consider screening mammograms. Breast cancers also tend to grow faster in younger women, so it’s important to be aware of any new breast changes. The Breast Cancer Foundation recommends women consider starting mammograms at 40. You’re not eligible for free mammograms until age 45, so you’d need to pay for them yourself. Breast cancers tend to grow more quickly in this age group, compared with older women, so we recommend having mammograms every year until age 50. From 45 to 50 you can alternate each year between BreastScreen Aotearoa’s free mammogram service and paying for mammograms privately.

Fake news Despite what you may have heard, these things don’t cause breast cancer. Trauma to the breast Underwire bras Mobile phones Breast implants

Understand your family history

Deodorants/antiperspirants

Talk with your family members about cancer on both sides of your family. If your mother or sister has had breast or ovarian cancer before the age of 50, it’s recommended you get screened annually with mammogram and ultrasound, from ten years prior to their age at diagnosis, but not earlier than 30 years of age.

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Hereditary or inherited breast cancer can develop because of a gene mutation (alteration) that has been passed down from a parent. While the risk of inherited breast cancer is low, talk about it with your doctor.

If you are over 40

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There is also no evidence to suggest that hair dyes, cell phone use or electromagnetic fields from wires and electronic devices cause breast cancer. 

Find out more www.breastcancerfoundation.org.nz

Mana Parents Centre Antenatal Class

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Due to our growing numbers, Parents Centre NZ Inc. have opportunities for midwives interested in facilitating our parenting programmes, including Antenatal, Baby & You and others. 46 Centres across NZ Contracted positions with flexible facilitation hours Support from the national support centre Career paths and professional development opportunities History and integrity Established and highly respected programme Opportunities to work at a national level on projects advocating for parents, families & midwifery services.

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Contact Liz Pearce to find out more: e.pearce@parentscentre.org.nz

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Win one of 3 prize packs from Huggies To celebrate the launch of NEW Huggies® Ultimate Nappies and Nappy Pants we’re giving away 3 prize packs including a gorgeous Nature Baby ‘Cabane a Oiseauz’ wooden bird house, 2 x jumbo boxes of NEW Huggies Ultimate Nappies OR Nappy Pants, and a tub of Huggies Baby Wipes. Inspired by Mother Nature, these new nappies are crafted using only the gentlest of ingredients and provide the very best care for babies’ skin. Enter online at kiwiparent.co.nz and follow the instructions. Entries must be received by 5pm, May 1, 2020. Winners will be published in issue 296.

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Understanding children's vision development

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If you do have any doubts or lingering worries about your child’s vision, getting a professional check can be a good idea. – Ravi Dass, Optometrist

For many of us, our eyesight is something that is both incredibly important for day-to-day living, and yet not something we give a lot of thought to. And it's just the same for our children's vision – we know it's important, but many of us are not aware exactly how children's eyes develop as they grow, nor when we may need to seek additional advice. Here are some of the key developmental milestones your child will go through, as well as some things to look out for. As an optometrist who has specialised in working with children, I feel an improved understanding of children's vision could really help as children move through their preschool years and into schooling.

Early days – how your child's eyes develop From birth, your baby is working on developing the muscles and skills to control her eyes so she can start to see clearly. During the first week of your newborn's life, your midwife or doctor will do a full newborn examination, which includes testing for some basic eyesight functions. This will usually be done by shining a light

into baby’s eye to check for a redreflex. This screening aims to pick up any health conditions that may need addressing by an eye specialist, such as cataracts. This is really important as the baby’s eyes capture an image that is transferred through a wire to the back of the brain (the occipital lobe, where vision is processed). If there is anything blocking the path it can decrease the quality of the image and make it a lot harder for the brain to process what it is seeing.

From one to three months In the first month, your baby will be able to briefly fixate on bright lights and faces. This is all about muscle control, getting the two eyes to start working together. The vision will

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generally be limited to about 20cm when they are born, but during the first month they will tend to quickly develop their sight – this includes hand-eye coordination, tracking moving objects, and focusing onto interesting objects (like you!). By three months, your baby should be able to easily lock their eyes onto near objects, and the eyes should be aligned in all directions of gaze by this point. (In cases of “amblyopia” or lazy eye, the eyes may track in different directions or cross over one another.)

Between three and twelve months Your baby will start recognising your face (this is quite an exciting stage!) and reacting to it when they see

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you, and further develop their ability to focus on near objects. At around six months they should be able to start focusing on objects in the distance, and it is thought that colour vision is developed by this stage. When your child is between seven and twelve months they may be crawling and starting to be aware of and developing their spatial awareness with their body – for example you may start noticing that they are able to grab objects with their thumb and forefinger.

From one to two years Most of the necessary parts of the eyes and vision should be fully developed by this stage, including depth perception (3D vision).

Making sure everything is developing as expected Formal vision screening takes place at birth, and again as part of the B4 School checks. Between those times, your midwife, Plunket nurse or Well Child provider will ask you questions about your child's vision that are designed to pick up any potential problems. For example, at age two to six weeks, your Lead Maternity Carer will be checking to see whether your baby can do the following: c lose their eyes against a bright light s tare at people's faces when they are up close turn towards light s mile at you without being touched or spoken to By the time of the three to fourmonth assessment, babies might

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also be looking at their own fingers. By five to seven months, they may be able to follow a slow-moving, bright-coloured object with their eyes; reach out for toys and other things; and hold objects firmly and look closely at them – and so on.

Additional signs to watch for Some other indicators to watch out for when tracking your baby’s vision development include: O ne or both pupils have an unusual or white appearance. You may notice this in photos. T here is persistent watering or discharge from the eyes. O ne eye appears to be turned frequently or the eyes do not seem to move well. B aby is extremely sensitive to light or glare. B aby’s head is consistently tilted/ turned to one side. Y our child holds books/puzzles at very close range or sits very close to screens. Their eyes do not look the same.

If you or your Well Child provider have any concerns at all about your child's vision, the first step will be to discuss those concerns together. Your Well Child provider may refer you on to your family doctor, or an eye specialist. The bottom line is, if you do have any doubts or lingering worries about your child’s vision, getting a professional check can be a good idea. The New Zealand Association of Optometrists recommends that children have their eyes examined at six to twelve months, again at two to three years of age, before starting school, and then through their school years as indicated by vision screening or school performance. For younger children, the Paediatric Society of New Zealand advises you to take your baby or child for a full eye test if certain 'warning signs' are recognised, including premature birth (gestation of 36 weeks or less); development delays; or family history or signs of strabismus (turned eye), amblyopia (lazy eye), or strong glasses at an early age. As with many things in life, early identification and intervention is

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key for children's vision. Many early eyesight problems can be resolved with early treatment – even if your child does need glasses, the range of options is so much greater these days. The next national vision screening isn't until well into your child's school years (in Year 7, at age 11–12), so it's a good idea to

continue to monitor your child's vision, so they can thrive at school as well. 

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Find out more www.kidshealth.org.nz/babys-eyes#sthash.Qbu4tSCc.dpuf

Ravi Dass Optometrist Ravi Dass is a co-founder – with wife Stephanie – of Mr Foureyes and the Foureyes Foundation which is a charitable entity that works with children in lower decile schools to help identify and provide glasses to New Zealand kids who need them. For every pair of glasses purchased through www.mrfoureyes.co.nz, a pair is given to the Foureyes Foundation to give to a child in need. www.mrfoureyes.co.nz

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Telling stories for the kids of Aotearoa

Puffin is the iconic children’s imprint of Penguin Random House New Zealand (Publisher of the Year 2019) and we’ve been telling New Zealand’s stories for generations. Joy Cowley and Maurice Gee were among the first authors published under the Puffin imprint and since then, we’ve been proud to become the home of legendary local children’s authors such as David Hill, Gavin Bishop, Vasanti Unka, Peter Gossage and of course, Lynley Dodd. From the outset, Puffin NZ has been committed to sharing

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stories that celebrate what’s good and great about Aotearoa. We are a team of New Zealanders working with our country’s best writers and illustrators to provide quality, home-grown literature for children of all ages and stages. Our stories inspire children and give them the tools to understand, and maybe change, the world around them. This year, Puffin celebrates its 80th Anniversary. We hope you enjoy this sneak peek at some of the fantastic stories we publish, and that you’ll join us in wishing our beaky friend a very happy 80th birthday.

Taking the Lead David Hill / Phoebe Morris Meet Jacinda Ardern, Prime Minister of New Zealand, who hopes the things she’s done will help everyone, especially children, to believe that they can do great things too. Taking the Lead is an inspiring, non-partisan book for children about having a career in politics, encouraging young readers to take the lead themselves.

Wildlife of Aotearoa Gavin Bishop Encounter New Zealand’s amazing array of wildlife in this beautiful illustrated companion to Aotearoa: The New Zealand Story. Discover fascinating facts about New Zealand’s incredible wildlife and learn how we influence the survival of our living treasures, in this spectacular book for children of all ages.

The Boys in the Waka Ama Angie Belcher/ Debbie Tipuna Tahi, rua, toru, wha-! Hoea to- waka! Meet the team training hard for the big competition in this exciting story about waka ama racing! A timely story with a singing text and vibrant illustrations, celebrating the traditional Polynesian sport that is so special to the people of Aotearoa.

The Girls in the Kapa Haka Angie Belcher / Debbie Tipuna Join in with this read aloud celebration of kapa haka! First published in 2006, this is one of New Zealand’s favourite stories! It celebrates the Ma-ori performing art of kapa haka, and it's great fun for the wha-nau to read together.

My Body for Kiwi Babies Animals for Kiwi Babies Matthew Williamson / Fraser Williamson

Hairy Maclary from Donaldson’s Dairy Lynley Dodd Lynley Dodd’s iconic first Hairy Maclary book, which introduces the famous Hairy Maclary from Donaldson’s Dairy and his canine gang. An enduring classic with fun rhymes and brilliant illustrations, the Hairy Maclary and Friends series by Lynley Dodd are stories the whole family will savour.

Time for Bed Little Kiwi Bob Darroch It's time for Little Kiwi to go to bed – but where is he? Join mum as she searches for her Little Kiwi through the forest. Full of Bob Darroch’s gentle humour, this is the perfect bedtime lift-the-flap story.

Granny McFlitter: A Country Yarn Heather Haylock / Lael Chisholm Granny McFlitter, our favourite champion knitter, is back! And this time, it's to save the A&P Show. Can Granny outwit – or should we say outknit – a rampaging bull? The A&P Show turns to chaos when a bull breaks out of his pen, trampling pavlovas and sponge cakes. But with a cry of “Olé!” Granny McFlitter comes up with a plan to save the day.

Little Hector and the Big Idea Ruth Paul Fishing nets and plastic rubbish are spoiling Little Hector’s beautiful bay, until the tiny Hector’s dolphin tells his friends about his BIG idea. From the award-winning Ruth Paul comes a sparkling new story with an environmental theme. Find out what we can do to keep our coastal waters safe for Little Hector and his friends! 

These beautiful, brightly illustrated bilingual board books introduce babies to animals as well as parts of the body, in English and in Ma-ori. Help introduce te reo to your home with these bestselling bilingual board books for babies. They make a fabulous set for gifting or adding to your own family bookshelf.

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Create the ultimate

children's play area

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To the humbugs among us, having a children's play room in the house may seem like both a waste of time and money. There is some logic to that, obviously, as a play room uses up a space that could otherwise be used for a guest room or study. However, if your little monkeys are suiting of the title, you might want to consider one. A play room keeps your children happily playing in one area of the house. Rather than their toys being spread out into every possible (and seemingly impossible) corner, their mess is contained in an easy to manage room. This means that when they are playing, they are not charging about the living room while you catch up on Coro, but are instead making a ruckus by themselves away from your tired ears. On top of that, restricting toys to a single room will mean they aren't scattered about your kid's bedroom when it comes to night time, meaning they won't be distracted when they should be sleeping. Here are some kids decorating ideas to help you get started.

Painting a play room Play rooms need to inspire creativity and fun in every essence of their being, from the walls to the furniture. That means bright colours galore! With the furniture removed, you can now paint the space. For the floor you have the option to think in terms of practicality or fun. For example, if you want to keep things practical then go for a hardwood floor, so those accidental spills are easier to clean up. Think wood with a whitewash finish such as Resene Colorwood Whitewash to help illuminate the space with a more natural glow. If you're more into fun, get a crazy carpet in there with stripes, spirals or other fun patterns. Blue paints like Resene Sports Star are fun, maybe even with paint highlights and stripes of yellow Resene Buzz. Moving up, the walls are a great place to let your own creativity burst. What kind of theme do you want the room to have? Will it be a pirate's treasure island or race car super stadium? Or perhaps a fairy kingdom or wonderland tea party. Keeping it gender neutral is

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as easy as painting with natural colours, like a forest or a beach, or adding in fun animals, insects and other quirky characters. Stripes, brickwork and other fun patterns look great with alternating colours, so try mixing yellows like Resene Turbo with reds, blues and greens. Your walls could be play spaces too. Try making a magnetic blackboard wall with Resene Magnetic Magic and Resene Blackboard Paint, or a coloured whiteboard wall with Resene Write-on Wall Paint over your favourite colour.

Furnishing a play room As this is not a bedroom, you can utilise maximum floor space for fun. A colourful table and chairs set would look great in a corner, offering the little ones a place to let out their inner artist (or do their homework somewhere a bit more interesting). Consider what imaginative world you are trying to create and run with that for the furniture, too. Make sure there is plenty of storage around the room, including bookcases, drawers and anything else you think will hold a plethora of toys. To keep floor space open, build shelves into the walls, rather than purchase bulky furniture, so that the space doesn't seem cluttered or cramped. Finally, get some play equipment in there as well. How about a wooden boat or race car, or a castle, play kitchen or wardrobe? If all else fails, throw in a range of options and let the kids decide. ď Ž

For more information For more colour and paint ideas and inspiration, see your Resene ColorShop or visit the decorating inspiration gallery online full of home decorating projects from Kiwi homeowners www.resene.co.nz/inspirationgallery

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Let your ideas loose all over your walls with Resene Write-on Wall Paint.

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Dear Kennedy Sam Moroney’s open letter to his baby daughter born prematurely at just 27 weeks.

I woke up to your Mumma restless and complaining. We both brushed it off as a funny tummy not realising what was to come. She spent the rest of the night on the couch watching TV and I assumed that nothing was wrong. I woke up to my alarm as usual and walked into the lounge; I could tell by just looking at her that something wasn’t right. She made phone calls to her midwife while I got your brother Brook ready to go to Nannie's. We had to go to the hospital to get you and Mumma checked. As I was driving to drop Brookie off, I could feel a massive wave of uncertainty and worry boiling up inside my body and I’m sure he could tell something wasn’t right. I said goodbye to Brookie not knowing that that was the last time he would see his Mumma and Daddy for quite a few days. We got to the hospital with an overnight bag that the midwife told us to pack just in case. Mumma got hooked up to machines and we watched and waited for the doctors and nurses to figure out what was going on. They did tests, they did an internal, they did everything to make sure they were right before they said, “You are going to be having your baby very soon.”

Be strong for each other So many thoughts crossed our minds... Mumma is only 27 weeks pregnant, we have just finished painting your

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room, we have to save more money, we have to buy a bassinet, Mumma’s not even finished work yet ... this is not part of our plan. We had everything planned out to make sure we didn’t go through what happened with Brookie. But none of that mattered now. We had to get you and Mumma to work together and be strong for each other. I don’t remember a lot of what went on after we got told what was happening. I don’t know how much your Mumma and I talked together or if we even cried, but one thing I clearly remember was bursting into tears ringing Nannie to tell her what was going on. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so uncertain and worried in my life, not only for you but for Mumma, for Brookie and for me. The doctors got us prepared for your birth. They tried to slow you down, but it wasn’t working. I held Mumma’s hand the whole time reminding her of how she was strong enough to do this even though it was not part of our plan. Your Mumma is such a strong woman and the doctors were surprised how she was able to hold herself together all while going through contractions, being fully dilated and dealing with the fact that you were coming just over 12 weeks early. She pushed, cried and screamed till you arrived.

She’s ok I got a quick look at your tiny, bruised but beautiful body before they whisked you away. I didn’t know where to look or what to do. I didn’t know what or how to feel. I watched the doctors do what they needed to do, and I still have an image in my head, even today, of one of the doctor’s nod and smile at me as if to say, ‘she’s ok’. Mumma couldn’t watch. I don’t think she knew what to do apart from protect herself from seeing you, so she didn’t break down even more. I was so proud of her for what she did for you. She was so brave and strong to do something that she never wanted to do and something that she feared doing again. Yet she overcame all of this and did it all for you, to keep you safe. Mumma got wheeled into SCBU on her bed while I walked (I can’t even remember if I held her hand). The first time we both saw you, you were in an incubator with all sorts of tubes, cords, tape and breathing devices attached to your tiny body.

Your face was bruised from when you popped out into this new world. It was heartbreaking knowing we couldn’t hold you, couldn’t help you, couldn’t feel your cuddles. All we could do was hold and touch your tiny hand. I felt helpless and hopeless. Mumma looked worse than me and I felt so sorry and sad for her, not being able to hold you to keep you safe. What was even harder was that she had to stay behind in hospital while you and I flew from Napier to Wellington so you could get specialist care. This was the absolute worst for me. I didn’t know what to do or who to look after.

I really felt for her We all said our goodbyes though many tears, much fear and a lot of sadness. Mumma held your hand so tight, she told you she loved you and cried while you were wheeled away from her by the air ambulance staff just hours after meeting you for the first time. No one will ever know the pain that she had to go through at that moment. She is the only one that will ever carry that and be able to process it and I really felt for her. I don’t fly well at the best of times but being on that small plane was somewhat calming. I couldn’t hear anything as it was so noisy and was wearing earmuffs. I couldn’t do anything but sit in my seat. I could, however, see the flight team behind me, and I could see your monitor. The hour-long flight was the

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first time I was able to be in my own head since my alarm went off that morning, the first time I got to process what was going on. I was so close to breaking down but knowing that the flight team were calm and not doing too much with you made the flight easier.

Settling into your new home We landed in Wellington and I was told you’d had an amazing flight. I was so pleased and relieved that you were doing well and were being strong. We got to Wellington Hospital and the doctors and nurses got you settled into NICU, your new home for however many weeks it needed to be. The nurses reassured me that you were doing well, that you were safe and were a strong and an amazing little girl, then they told me I should go and have a sleep. I woke in the morning after a restless couple of hours with the harsh reality hitting, this was our new reality and we had no idea how long we were going to be on this journey. The next morning, we finally managed to get Mumma on a plane down to Wellington. We had a room booked in at Ronald McDonald House across the road from the hospital and had family back in Napier packing bags, looking after our house and taking care of Brookie. Now the only thing we didn’t have was certainty about you. Once Mumma got to see you in NICU, the doctors explained what was going on and how well you were doing. They made sure that we were ok and understood everything that was happening. They kept reassuring us that you were ok, you were a good weight for your gestation and that they would do everything they could to keep you healthy and safe. This gave us hope.

Why us? It took a while for us to settle into a routine and into Ronald McDonald House. I remember breaking down in our room one afternoon after leaving you in hospital. I burst into tears without any warning. I couldn’t stop, all that was going through my head was, “Why us? Why again? Why did your Mumma and I have to go through hell again? Why did we have to deal with another hardship? Why did we have to go to Wellington? Why did any of this have to happen?” At this point I had no idea how we were going to get through this process, or what was going to happen to

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us, I just knew we had to ride the wave and do what we could to look after our precious family. Over the next couple of weeks, we learnt so much. We learnt there was no reason you decided to come early, you just needed to be here. We learnt all about how to look after you and how to do your cares. We learnt a whole lot of medical terms; IV fluids, CPAP, DSATS, blood transfusions and medical procedures you had to have. None of this we would have ever known about without this experience.

Our first cuddle Kennedy, the day we were both ultimately waiting for was the day we could finally get you up for a cuddle. I watched Mumma get her first cuddle, a day I’ll never forget. I was expecting there to be lots of tears but there were only massive smiles and so much happiness. You were calm and comfortable. I was so happy that you were finally able to share a cuddle with Mumma, something that both of you had been longing for since you arrived. My heart melted with love seeing you both together. There is nothing that can prepare you for what this moment feels like. It’s so hard to explain how holding a 1260g baby with tubes and wires coming off their tiny body feels. It’s a surreal feeling knowing that this cuddle must come to end in an hour so that you can go back into your plastic box. It just wasn’t fair. Kennedy, as you grew bigger and stronger the doctors and nurses explained that Mumma would need to give you breast milk. Now Mumma was never going to do any expressing, let alone breastfeed you. Not because she didn’t want to, but because she couldn’t do it after what she endured with Brookie. However, your Mumma is one strong-minded woman. She decided that the best thing for you was for her to express, which took a lot of courage for her to do. After a while, once she got used to this, she decided she wanted to try breastfeeding you, she said that this might help heal the pain she went through with her breastfeeding experience with Brook. When she told me this I cried, I was so proud of her for doing this for

you and for her. Even though you weren’t ready for oral feeds just yet Mumma knew she was ready to try when you were.

Leaving Wellington Kennedy, after 3.5 weeks in Wellington I had to leave you. I had to go home. I had to take Brookie with me. He needed some sort of normality and I had to go back to work. When we left, I had no idea how long you were going to have to stay or how long until I would see Mumma again. Luckily for everyone it was only two days and you were both flown back to Hastings Hospital. I thought to myself, “You are closer to home, Mumma’s home, everything will be easier.” Oh, how we were wrong! Even though you were in Hasting SCBU it somehow made life so much harder. We couldn’t just pop over and see you whenever we wanted, we had to drive 20 minutes to see you. It was easier for Mumma to spend the whole day with you, which was both good and bad. I could only come and see you after work or after Brookie had gone to sleep. I felt a huge amount of pressure trying to divide my time between you, Mumma and Brookie. I barely had time to look after myself. Towards the end of your stay in SCBU Mumma was getting tired, she needed a break to be healthy for you when you came home, and we decided that I would have the day with you on Fridays.

The best day of the year October 9th, 2019 was the best day of the year, it was the day we finally got to bring you home. The day we were finally a complete family. Even though we had to bring you home on oxygen, we were so, so happy for you to be with us. Nerves and anxiety were high between both me and Mumma. It felt so good taking you home but still very hard leaving the ‘cocoon’ that we had in SCBU. We had met so many amazing nurses and other parents. We had been told when taking you home that we couldn’t take you out and about to public places.

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No going to town, no going to super busy cafes and definitely no supermarkets. That we must be mindful of who comes around to see you, always thinking and asking if they or their family have been sick. That you can’t go to kindy with Mumma when she drops Brookie off. It was our job to look after you and keep you healthy.

It’s hard to step back No one will understand after all the tears we had cried, the hugs we shared, the physical, emotional and mental investment we put into what we have been through with you and Brookie, how hard it is to take a step back and accept help, or then put you in situations that could be detrimental to your health, how to be apart from you for long periods of time. Some may see it as being ‘overprotective’ or ‘helicopter parenting’ and will share their opinions about what we should do but they have no idea about what’s going through our minds or how anxious life now makes us feel. Kennedy, over the many weeks you spent in Wellington NICU and Hastings SCBU we all grew. You, a tiny baby growing and putting on weight, your brother, Brookie, learnt how to be resilient, and that he now has a baby sister to help look after. His life had totally been thrown upside down. One minute he was saying goodbye to me expecting to be picked up in the afternoon, the next, he was traveling back and forth from Nanny and Grandad's house to Wellington to stay in his ‘holiday house´ which he called his Ronald McDonald House or stay at Poppa and Gramm’s house. He even had his third birthday while we were staying at Ronald McDonald House. He and I actually had a lot of fun while we were there. Now he helps look after you, he runs to get your dummy if you cry and he wants to change your nappy.

I am so proud of your Mumma The person that grew the most and who I am most proud of is your Mumma. For all that she had gone through with Brookie, her plans that she made for your birth to have them completely turned upside down and come out of it the way she has, is simply amazing. She learnt so much about you and herself. She will share an

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extra special unbreakable bond with you forever. I can’t express in words exactly how proud I am or how much my love has grown for her. I love how our little family is so strong and in sync. I now realise I know the answer to the question “Why us? Why again?” It’s because we can! It’s because we’ve got this, and we are coming out the other side better people and a stronger family… Sam and Kelsie Moroney live in Napier with their two beautiful children, Brook and Kennedy. Kelsie also bravely shared her open letter to Kennedy which you can read in the next issue of Kiwiparent. 

The Neonatal Trust is a charity that supports the families of premature or sick full-term babies as they make their journey through neonatal intensive care, the transition home, and onwards. Every year approximately 10% of all babies are born premature in New Zealand. That’s one premature baby born every 90 minutes. There are also many full-term babies whose condition or illness requires admission to a Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) or Special Care Baby Unit (SCBU) after they are born. In all, over 5,000 babies have a difficult start to life in New Zealand each year.

We exist to make a difficult start to life that little bit easier. www.neonataltrust.org.nz

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Fresh from

Akaroa

Lou and Ant Bentley decided to pursue their dream and set up a cooking school in a special part of the world, Akaroa on the Banks Peninsula. Their vision was to teach people how to get back to basics â&#x20AC;&#x201C; growing their own food where possible, but certainly knowing where it comes from and how best to prepare and cook it. They now run more than 20 different cooking classes in their waterfront location, teaching guests from all

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around the world. They live with their two children one bay around from Akaroa, and grow all their own herbs, salad greens and veggies for the school. Fresh from Akaroa features over 100 delicious new recipes, all well tested in the cooking school. The book has great tips on hosting dinner parties, and shares the knowledge of how a restaurant kitchen operates before service that allows them to serve up a multitude of dishes in a short time that can be incorporated into your home cooking.

Homemade muesli It is really satisfying to make your own muesli. It means you can pick and choose all of your favourite ingredients to put in it too. This recipe has no added sugar or salt and is far more economical than buying muesli from the supermarket. It also makes a great lunchbox item for the kids’ lunches – our kids will take a little in a container with some Greek yoghurt, berry compote or honey.

Ingredients 2 cups wholegrain oats ½ cup each chopped Brazil nuts, whole almonds, coconut flakes, sunflower seeds and pumpkin seeds ¼ cup linseeds ¼ cup coconut oil ¼ cup honey ¼ cup chopped dried dates, dried cranberries, dried apricots, or other dried fruit of choice

Method Preheat the oven to 150°C. Place the oats, nuts and seeds into a roasting tray and mix well to combine. Heat the coconut oil and honey together in a saucepan until melted, and then pour over the oaty mixture. Stir really well until everything has been coated. Bake in the oven, stirring every 8 minutes, until toasted and golden – approximately 25 minutes. Remove from the oven and set aside to cool for at least 20 minutes before stirring through the dried fruit. When completely cold, put into an airtight container where it will keep for up to 1 month.

Steamed pork and prawn dumplings I’m a huge fan of dumplings and they are really easy to make at home. Pre-made dumpling wrappers are now readily available in Asian food stores and many supermarkets, and using these can save you hours rather than making your own dough then rolling out and cutting. I really like the combination of pork and prawns together but use whatever you have on hand – beef mince, chicken mince, minced seafood, finely chopped tofu, etc. I like to fry a little bit of the filling in a pan first to check that the seasoning is correct. This way, you can ensure that the filling tastes exactly how you want it before making all of the dumplings. These freeze really well, too, and can be cooked directly from frozen – they will just take a little bit longer. Serves 4–6 (makes approximately 30 dumplings)

Continued overleaf...

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Ingredients 250g pork mince 100g prawns, very finely chopped or whizzed up in a food processor 2 tbsp finely crushed garlic 2 tbsp grated ginger small bunch garlic chives, finely chopped 1 spring onion, finely chopped 1 tbsp soy sauce 1 tbsp fish sauce 2 tbsp sweet chilli sauce ½ tsp bicarbonate of soda 1 packet of 50 round dumpling wrappers rice flour, for dusting

Method Place the pork and prawns in a large bowl and mix well with the garlic, ginger, chives, spring onion, soy sauce, fish sauce, sweet chilli sauce and bicarbonate of soda (this keeps the mixture light and fluffy). Lay a few dumpling wrappers out on a board. Brush around the outside of each wrapper with a little water to help seal the wrapper. Place a teaspoon of pork mixture into the middle of a wrapper and fold over, pinching the edges together to seal (see overleaf). Set the dumplings on a flour-dusted tray to ensure they don’t stick. Heat a wok with water and place an oiled steamer over the top. Add the dumplings when the water is hot and steam for 4–5 minutes, or until just cooked through. Serve hot with the dipping sauce on the side.

Chicken, caper and artichoke fusilli This is a great summer pasta dish – our kids love it and it can have anything that you have in the store cupboard added into it. Bacon makes a good alternative to the chicken if you haven’t got the time or inclination to flour and cook the chicken in batches. Serves 4–6

Ingredients 320g dried fusilli (we use de Cecco) 400g skinless free range chicken thighs, chopped into evensized pieces ½ cup plain flour, seasoned with 1 tsp salt and 1 tsp ground pepper 2 tbsp olive oil 2 tbsp butter 340g jar marinated artichokes, drained and chopped 2 cloves garlic, crushed

Dipping sauce 4 tbsp soy sauce juice of 1 lime ¼ tsp sesame oil Mix the soy sauce, lime juice and sesame oil in a small bowl.

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250ml white wine 3 tbsp capers zest of 1 lemon pinch dried chilli flakes 120g baby spinach

100ml cream ¼ cup chopped flat-leaf parsley ½ cup freshly grated Parmesan

Method Bring a large pot of salted water to the boil and add the pasta. Cook according to the packet instructions until al dente and then drain and toss with a little olive oil. Meanwhile coat the chicken in the seasoned flour, shaking off the excess. Heat the oil in a large sauté pan. Add the butter and when sizzling, add the chicken and cook in batches until golden. Remove and set aside and repeat with remaining chicken. Set the chicken aside in a bowl. Add the artichokes and garlic to the pan and cook for 2 minutes over medium heat before adding the wine, capers, lemon zest and chilli flakes. Simmer to reduce a little and then add the spinach, turning to wilt, then pour in the cream. Season well and continue to reduce the liquid for another minute or two or until the cream has thickened slightly. Add the chicken back into the mixture, followed by the pasta, then stir well to combine. Divide among serving bowls and scatter over the parsley and plenty of freshly grated Parmesan.

Tamarind-spiced lamb shanks on kumara mash

tamarind purée and stock, and bring to the boil.

Comfort food at its best – sticky lamb shanks that are meltingly tender with a fragrant tangy sauce is the type of food everyone wants to come home to in the winter. This can be made a day or two in advance and then reheated before serving. You can also take the meat off the bone and serve it as a ragù with pappardelle or a good garlicky mash.

Return the lamb shanks to the casserole, then place a piece of baking paper directly over the meat. Cover tightly with a lid or foil and place in the oven to braise for 3–4 hours or until falling off the bone. If the sauce is too thin, carefully remove the shanks to a bowl and cover to keep warm, then boil the liquid until reduced, with a nice sheen. Pour the sauce back over the shanks.

Serves 6

Gremolata Ingredients

large handful flat-leaf parsley

6 small lamb shanks

zest of 1 lemon

flaky sea salt and freshly ground black pepper

Finely chop the parsley and add lemon zest. Set aside, covered with clingfilm, until ready to use.

2 tbsp olive oil 2 onions, finely chopped

Kumara mash

3 cloves garlic, crushed

750g orange kumara

2 tbsp grated fresh ginger

½ tsp flaky sea salt

1 tsp ground Chinese five spice

3 whole allspice berries

2 tbsp brown sugar

1 cinnamon stick

2 tbsp fish sauce

3 whole cloves 40g melted butter Peel and dice the kumara. Put into a saucepan and just cover with cold water. Add the salt and bring to the boil over high heat. Turn down the heat and simmer until the kumara is very tender. Strain and put back into the pan, covered, over low heat to steam-dry (orange kumara can absorb a bit of water when boiled so this step dries it out). Meanwhile dry-toast the allspice, cinnamon and cloves in a small frying pan, until smelling fragrant. Remove from the pan and put into a spice grinder or mortar and pestle and grind to a fine powder. When the kumara has dried out, mash with the butter and spices until creamy. Season with salt and pepper to taste.

To serve Put a spoonful of kumara mash into the centre of six warmed bowls. Top with a lamb shank and some of the sauce, and then sprinkle with the gremolata.

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2 tbsp kecap manis /3 cup tamarind purée

2 cups good-quality (salt-free) beef stock (we use Foundation Foods) Gremolata (see right), to serve

Method Preheat the oven to 160°C. Season the lamb with flaky sea salt and black pepper. Heat 1 tablespoon of the oil in a large ovenproof casserole dish. Brown the shanks on all sides then set aside. Pour off all the fat from the casserole, leaving the crunchy bits behind. Add the remaining tablespoon of oil, along with the onion, garlic, ginger and five spice, and cook for 5 minutes over medium heat. Stir in the sugar and fish sauce and cook for a few minutes, until starting to caramelise. Add the kecap manis,

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Ingredients 250g plain sweet biscuits 125g butter, melted, plus extra for greasing 750g cream cheese, at room temperature 1 cup caster sugar ½ tsp vanilla extract 2 tsp finely grated lemon zest 2 tbsp plain flour 4 large free-range eggs 300ml sour cream Raspberry Coulis (see page 278), to serve (optional)

Method Preheat the oven to 160°C.

Chocolate molten puddings These gooey little chocolatey treats are fantastic on a winter’s evening. They can be made in advance and then baked when you feel like dessert. The key is to not overcook them so they remain molten in the centre. Each oven is slightly different so I would suggest making a batch of puddings for a test run in your oven at home. Serves 4

Ingredients 125g butter 125g dark chocolate (we use Whittakers 72% Dark Ghana), plus 100g extra chocolate roughly chopped 2 free range eggs

In a separate bowl, whisk the eggs and then add the sugar and beat to combine. Stir in the flour. Add the egg mixture, stirring constantly, to the slightly cooled chocolate and mix together well. Stir in the 100g of extra dark chocolate. Pour into the prepared ramekins and put onto a baking tray. Bake in the oven for 15–17 minutes, until firm on top but still gooey in the centre. Remove from the oven and carefully place onto serving plates. Serve with vanilla bean ice cream.

150g caster sugar

New York cheesecake

3 tbsp plain flour (or substitute rice flour for a gluten-free version)

I adore a baked cheesecake and this one is absolutely mouthwatering. It is great for feeding a crowd and easily serves 12 generous portions. Any leftover makes a great breakfast treat.

vanilla bean ice cream, to serve

Method Preheat the oven to 200°C. Grease 4 x 150ml ramekins with a little

butter. Melt the butter and 125g of chocolate together in a heatproof bowl set over a saucepan of simmering water (ensure the base of the bowl does not touch the water). Alternatively, melt in the microwave on medium heat. Remove and allow to cool slightly.

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Serves 12

Line the base of a 23cm springform tin with baking paper and grease the sides with butter. Place the biscuits in the bowl of a food processor and process until you get fine crumbs. Add the butter and process until well combined. Transfer the biscuit mix to the prepared tin. Use a straight-sided glass to spread and press the biscuit mixture firmly over the base of the tin so that it is even and then place in the fridge for 30 minutes to chill. Meanwhile, use a hand-held beater or standmixer to beat the cream cheese, sugar, vanilla and lemon zest until just combined. Beat in the flour. Add the eggs, one at a time, beating well after each one until combined. Stir in the sour cream until just combined. Pour the cream cheese mixture into the tin. Place on a baking tray and bake for 1¼–1½ hours, or until just set in the centre. Turn the oven off. Leave the cheesecake in the oven, with the door open, for 2 hours or until cooled completely (to prevent the cheesecake from cracking). Place in the fridge for 4 hours or overnight to chill. Cut into wedges and drizzle over raspberry coulis, if using, to serve. 

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Winners

Congratulations to the lucky winners from issue 293

Philips Avent Steriliser

Kiwiherb family pack

Seren Loay Papakura

Andrea Compton Wellington

Smasher EPIC Egg Shalimar Sudfelt Whangarei

Bumkins prize pack

Renate Stillwell Auckland

David Holt Lower Hutt

Phoebe Phan Papakura

Sandpit toys from Baby on the Move Michelle Garrett Invercargill

Jaimie Putt Auckland

Little Inspiration Factory prize pack

Daniel Jackson Porirua

Debbe Laurent Hamilton

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Winners

Congratulations to the lucky winners from issue 294

Rotorua Break Away

Brolly Sheets prize pack

Lucy Kean Wellington

Ashlee Gale Napier

Boba Wrap from The Sleep Store

Mini Muffs from Babybanz

Jennifer McGrattan Gore

Danae Johnston Whangarei

Huggies Summertime prize pack Terri-Anne Matthews Pukekohe

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Our Funders Fundraising for childbirth education

As a charity we are always looking for new ways to raise funds for our childbirth and parent education programmes. We’ve been working with Sustainable Fundraising for a year now and they’ve been fantastic to deal with. We’re able to offer our members great quality products that help them make small steps towards sustainability at home. Children from a very young age can become involved in the family’s efforts to reduce, reuse and recycle. Simple substitutes like switching to beeswax wraps rather than plastic wrap in their lunchbox make a big difference to our plastic consumption over a year. We can teach our children, no matter how young they are, that the collective impact of our small changes at home can be huge for our planet.

Tackling our plastic waste Around the world millions of people want to be part of the solution to our global plastic pollution problem – so we can enjoy cleaner streets, oceans and have beautiful communities. Try some of these ideas to help you cut down on unnecessary plastics: S tart by cutting back on the big four single-use plastics – cups, straws, bottles and plastic bags.

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K iwis have embraced ditching supermarket plastic checkout bags – but what about at the fruit and veg section? Invest in some re-usable produce bags – or make your own. V isit your local farmers market – take along plenty of bags or other containers. This way you can purchase straight from the producer without all the packaging you find at the supermarket. M ake sure to carry a re-useable kit with cups, bamboo or stainless-steel straws, bags and containers. M ake it yourself – switching to one thing to make-your-own can reduce your plastic waste. Making a 1kg jar of yogurt for the family can eliminate a lot of plastic pottles and sucky tubes! B uy experiences rather than presents – if your child has a birthday coming up you might

want to give experiences rather than plastic toys as birthday gifts – movie tickets, swimming vouchers and zoo passes are just some suggestions that might work. Many presents have a short-lived novelty value that generate a lot of waste then quickly become landfill. Are you looking for ideas to reduce your plastic waste in your child’s lunchbox? Many of us have children at school, preschool or kindy and we face the daily routine of packing lunchboxes. Beeswax Eco Wraps are made in New Zealand from cotton, beeswax and pine resin and last up to a year with proper care. Since switching to these wraps a year ago, I haven’t had to buy a single roll of plastic wrap! 

Fundraising

www.sustainablefundraising.nz Remember to choose Parents Centre NZ as your chosen charity at checkout and we receive a donation for every purchase.

Funders powering Parents Centres Sixty-seven years ago, Parents Centre’s founders advocated for women to have the right to make informed choices about their labour and birth. Today, in locations around Aotearoa, Parents Centre volunteers continue to support new families. Childbirth education classes reach parents at a time when they are most in need of information and support. Right at the start of a child’s life, during pregnancy, the messages our qualified educators share with expectant parents set their baby up for the best start during those crucial first 1,000– 2,000 days. Our Centres are registered charities and Parents Centre New Zealand is too. We receive a variety of funding streams to support our work: commercial partnerships, DHB funding, service delivery, membership subscriptions, donations, fundraising and grant funding.  Kim Black, Funding Manager, Parents Centres New Zealand

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Our Partners Why do we have commercial partnerships? Commercial partnerships are essential to Parents Centre not only to help fund the work we do but also to provide resources and benefits to both our Centres and our members. Baby On The Move is a long-standing partner that supports Parents Centre both nationally and at a regional level, supporting our Centre programmes and ensuring our members' car seats are fitted correctly. Many car seats in New Zealand are incorrectly fitted and Baby On The Move is working with our Centres to reduce this by providing free or heavily discounted car seat checks, also ensuring that members have the correct car seat for their car. Baby On The Move also provides member discounts on many of their products for members to both buy and hire from their extensive range. Catherine Short, Partnerships and Advertising Manager

A word from Baby On The Move Baby On The Move is a New Zealand nationwide company owned and operated by franchisees that are passionate about you, your child and their safety. Both directors, Claire Turner and Fena Bavastro, are parents and say, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Having children and now grandchildren of our own, we are very aware of the obstacles that new parents may face with balancing financial interests and child safety. Baby On The Move has been dealing with car seats for over 20 years, either hiring or selling new, and providing a fitting-and-sitting session for our customers by one of our in-store Child Restraint Technicians.â&#x20AC;? We are proud to partner with Parents Centre and offer free car seat safety talks at local antenatal classes throughout New Zealand. We also offer Parents Centre member discounts on selected cots, buggies, car seat hire and installation. Supporting Baby On The Move means you are supporting families in New Zealand and hiring means you're helping reduce our carbon footprint. Claire Turner and Fena Bavastro 0800 222 966 / www.babyonthemove.co.nz

Huggies online pregnancy and parenting

Philips Avent

The Sleep Store

PC member benefits: Supply breast pads and breastfeeding information to all members.

PC member benefits: 20% off selected items which are regularly updated.

Phone: 0800 104 401 www.philips.co.nz/AVENT

www.thesleepstore.co.nz content/parentscentre

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PC member benefits: Attendees of CBE, Baby and You and toilet training programmes get a Huggies gift pack. Phone: 0800 733 703 www.huggies.co.nz

Supporting Kiwi parents

0800 222 966 / www.babyonthemove.co.nz

Baby On The Move PC member benefits: 20% off car seat hire, selected buggies and cots for all members. Phone: 0800 222 966 www.babyonthemove.co.nz

Johnson & Johnson PC member benefits: All attendees of Parents Centre CBE and Baby and You get a J&J baby bath gift pack and information on science of the skin.

Resene PC member benefits: Various discounts on decorating supplies and paints with Parents Centre membership card.

www.jnj.com

www.resene.co.nz

Parenting Place

Poise

U by Kotex

www.theparentingplace.com

PC member benefits: All attendees of CBE and Baby and You classes get a Poise gift pack.

PC member benefits: All attendees of CBE get a U by Kotex gift pack.

www.poise.co.nz

www.ubykotex.co.nz

SplashSave PC member benefits: 30% discount on water safety package.

If you want to partner with Parents Centre, or would like to discuss how this may work for your business, contact Catherine on:

www.splashsave.co.nz

c.short@parentscentre.org.nz

Birthing Centre A free service to women of all ages whose pregnancy is considered lowrisk primary care. www.birthingcentre.co.nz

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Win great giveaways Win 2 tickets to the 2020 Baby Expo and a mystery prize pack From bump to birth and beyond! Enter to win 2 free tickets and a mystery prize-pack with vendor goodies and gifts valued over $100 waiting for you at the 2020 Baby expo. Gain expert advice from our diverse range of exhibitors and experiment with products and services to find what best suits your needs. More information at:

Enter online at kiwiparent.co.nz and follow the instructions. Entries must be received by 5pm, May 1, 2020. Winners will be published in issue 296.

Keep your bump beautiful Go in the draw to win a pack of Bio-Oil to help keep your bump beautiful! Applied twice daily, it’ll help your skin retain elasticity to protect against stretch marks. It’s also important to continue using it once the baby arrives – your body will thank you for it! Prize includes a 25ml, 60ml, 125ml and 200ml bottle of Bio-Oil (RRP $104).

www.babyexpos.co.nz

www.bio-oil.com

Enter to win a Woolbabe duvet sleeping bag

Win 1 of 10 packs of U by Kotex® Maternity Pads

One of the warmest, snuggliest and most luxurious winter sleeping bags available. The bag is filled with a snug layer of 100% Merino wool filling, which has amazing warmth and temperature regulating properties. The duvet Woolbabe is lined with a lovely 100% organic cotton lining, which is soft and smooth against your baby's skin. The combination of wool and cotton offers the best of both worlds, providing a light cover for your child in warmer conditions.

U by Kotex® Maternity Pads are cotton-like, soft, flexible, longer and a fraction wider – they also provide added protection when you're lying down. U by Kotex® are proud to continue the journey with you. Available from pharmacies and supermarkets nationwide. RRP $5.79. www.ubykotex.co.nz

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Go in the draw to win a prize pack from Zuru Three lucky winners will each receive a prize pack containing: 1 x Rainbow Boppi – Pets Alive Boppi the Booty Shakin’ Llama has had a fresh new makeover! 2 x 5 Surprise Dino – unbox, build, and battle all new 5 Surprise Dino Strike! 2 x 5 Surprise Unicorn Squad – unwrap, peel and reveal each capsule to find a sassy member of the Unicorn Squad. Rainbow Boppi, Surprise Dino and Surprise Unicorn Squad are all available from Farmers and the Warehouse. Each pack is valued at $79.

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Research shows that going to sleep on your side from 28 weeks of pregnancy halve your risk of stillbirth compared with sleeping on your back. Why should I go to sleep on my side? Lying on your back in the last three months of pregnancy (from 28 weeks) presses on major blood vessels which can reduce blood flow to your womb and oxygen supply to your baby.

Is it best to go to sleep on my left or right side? You can settle to sleep on either the left or the right side – any side is good from 28 weeks of pregnancy.

SLEEP ON SIDE WHEN BABY’S INSIDE

FROM 28 WEEKS OF PREGNANCY Research shows that going to sleep on www.sleeponside.org.nz your side from 28 weeks of pregnancy halve your risk of stillbirth compared with sleeping on your back. Why should I go to sleep on my side? Lying on your back in the last three months of pregnancy (from 28 weeks) presses on major blood vessels which can reduce blood flow to your womb and oxygen supply to your baby.

Is it best to go to sleep on my left or right side? You can settle to sleep on either the left or the right side – any side is good from 28 weeks of pregnancy.

But what if I feel more comfortable going to sleep on my back? Going to sleep on your back is not best for baby after 28 weeks of pregnancy. Most women find side sleeping is more comfortable in pregnancy, especially in the last three months.

What if I wake up on my back?

What if I wake up on my back? It’s normal to change position during sleep and many pregnant women wake up on their back. The important thing is to start every sleep (daytime naps and going to bed at night) lying on your side and settle back to sleep on your side if you wake up.

What is the risk of stillbirth if I go to sleep on my back? Stillbirth in the last three months of pregnancy affects about one in every 500 babies. However, research has confirmed that going to sleep on your side halves your risk of stillbirth compared with sleeping on your back.

SLEEP ONON SIDE SLEEP SIDE WHEN BABY’S INSIDE WHEN BABY’S INSIDE SLEEP ON SIDE FROMFROM 28 WEEKS OF PREGNANCY 28 WEEKS OF PREGNANCY WHEN BABY’S For more information please INSIDE contact your midwife, nurse or28 doctor. www.sleeponside.org.nz www.sleeponside.org.nz FROM WEEKS OF PREGNANCY

www.sleeponside.org.nz www.sleeponside.org.nz The magazine of Parents Centre

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