Kiwiparent Issue #296 June-July 2020 by Parents Centres New Zealand Inc

RRP $7.50 (incl GST)

SUPPORTING PARENTS THROUGH THE EARLY YEARS

JUNE – JULY 2020

Adjusting to a new normal Pregnancy and birth in a pandemic

Be comfortable on our cover Enter the 2020 Huggies photo competition

Kia pai tou ta-tou Matariki!

Matariki – a time to celebrate and remember

Kindness Teaching children to be compassionate

Dear Kennedy A mum’s letter to her premature daughter

The magazine of Parents Centre New Zealand Inc

296

YES, WE ARE OPEN!

No matter what level our country is in... Parents Centre classes are here for you What about connections and coffee groups, if the classes are online? • Our online classes remain interactive, engaging and fun • They are NOT just an informative one-way presentation • We will make sure your coffee group happens!

Quotes from participants: “Our facilitator was great at delivering the information. Our last two classes were available online due to Covid-19, appreciate the effort to make this happen.” “Our Facilitator did an excellent job with the classes - she’s strikes a really good balance between being humorous and knowledgeable and keeping the class on track. We had to do our last couple of classes via Zoom and she was fantastic presenting remotely too.”

To find out more, contact your local Centre or go to our website www.parentscentre.org.nz

Subscribe & win

Subscribe or renew your subscription to Kiwiparent and go in the draw to WIN a Philips AVENT 4-in-1 Healthy Baby Food Maker valued at RRP $329.99! 1 years subscription to Kiwiparent (6 issues) is only $45 delivered to your door.

Visit .nz o c . t n e r a p i w ki be i r c s b to su

N I W S I H T

Effortlessly steam, blend and serve healthy homemade baby meals with the Philips Avent 4-in-1 Healthy Baby Food Maker. Terms & conditions Subscribers must be New Zealand Residents. Offer ends midnight 29 July 2020. Only one entry to prize draw per subscriber. Gift not redeemable for cash. Random winner drawn and contacted by Parents Centre NZ Inc. Kiwiparent is the magazine of Parents Centre New Zealand Inc. The magazine of Parents Centre 1

Features

In this issue

Be comfortable on our cover

Letters to the editor...................................................4–5

Huggies photo competition 2020............................. 8–10

Adjusting to a new normal: pregnancy and birth in a pandemic Leigh Bredenkamp.......................................................12–17

Product information..................................................6–7 Help to keep breastfeeding with nipple trauma Denise Ives.....................................................................34–38

Learning how to be kind Kerstin Kramar..............................................................18–22

Parents Centre..........................................................39–43

Safe seats save lives

Find a Centre...................................................................44

Claire Turner...................................................................24–26

Kia pai tou ta-tou Matariki! A time for celebration and remembrance............28–31

Tuning in to nature during lockdown........32–33 As simple as driving to the dairy Early detection of autism...........................................46–49

Best protection when it is needed most Keeping up with immunisations..............................50–52

Take a deep breath: you’ve got this SKIP..................................................................................54–55

Birth story: Dear Kennedy Kelsie Moroney.............................................................64–69

Healthy food choices boost immunity Nickie Hursthouse........................................................70–75

kiwiparent

Great parents grow great kids................................45 A flash way to ko-rero Penguin Random House New Zealand..................56–57

Renovating with kids Resene creative team.................................................58–63

Winners from the last issue.....................................76 Our funders......................................................................77 Our partners..............................................................78–79 Giveaways..........................................................................80

SUPPORTING PARENTS THROUGH THE EARLY YEARS

JUNE – JULY 2020

296

Kia ora, nga- mihi ki a koutou What will you remember about the 2020 ra-hui (lockdown)? Adjusting to a new normal: pregnancy and birth in a pandemic | pages 12–17 These have been strange and challenging times for everyone in Aotearoa and the world. If you are pregnant or are one of the 6,000 women who have given birth during lockdown, there have been even more layers of stress for you to manage.

Kia pai tou ta-tou Matariki! | pages 28–31 Just as the Northern Hemisphere prepares for spring and growth on 1 January, here on the other side of the globe, Matariki is our time to move from one year to the next. There are many ways to celebrate Matariki with tamariki that remind us of our connections to the past.

Healthy food choices boost immunity | pages 70–75 Never has there been a greater focus on the value of health and our immune systems. COVID-19 continues to spread globally, and it is important to focus on what you can control to boost your immune system.

Kiwiparent. The magazine of Parents Centre New Zealand Inc. Since 1954.

Editorial enquiries Ph (04) 233 2022 or (04) 472 1193 info@e–borne.co.nz

Advertising sales Catherine Short Ph (04) 233 2022 x8805 c.short@parentscentre.org.nz

Design Hannah Faulke edendesign.nz

Proofing Foolproof

Printer Caxton Design and Print

Subscriptions info@parentscentre.org.nz

www.kiwiparent.co.nz

For me, this has been an extraordinary opportunity to find the stillness at the centre of my world. I will always recall this time in a series of images. Teddy bears peeking out from windows and peering out of parked cars, colourful Easter eggs and poppies adorning houses, the haunting sounds of a lone piper at dawn on Anzac Day filling the valley where I live. And the golden autumn weather. I will miss the noise of the children scampering down our street spotting teddies and playing hopscotch (yes, really!) on a road devoid of cars. I will miss the silence that has allowed birdsong (or birdsquawk as we have kakas in abundance in our garden) to grow ever louder. I will miss the companionship of our two big dogs who have taken to sleeping tranquilly under my desk as I work (best co-workers ever). I will miss the gentle rhythm of the days. I will miss hearing Papatu-a-nuku (our earth mother) breathing. As I write, we have just transitioned to Level 2. Our country has been brilliant at pulling together. I have been in awe of the cohesion, goodwill and empathy we have demonstrated as we tackle the threat together. Whakamihi Aotearoa.

Editor Leigh Bredenkamp Ph (04) 472 1193 Mobile (0274) 572 821 leighb@e–borne.co.nz PO Box 28115, Kelburn, Wellington 6150

For me, the days preceding the ra-hui are a blur – making last-minute arrangements, buying supplies, setting up our house to accommodate the needs of three adults and a teenager, all needing to work and study full time, relocating our offices, the nightmarish supermarket queues… and then waking up on the morning of Alert Level 4 to an eerie silence. No traffic noise, no planes. It felt as though we were all holding our breath.

Publisher Parents Centre New Zealand Inc Ph (04) 233 2022

Kiwiparent is a publication of Parents Centre New Zealand and reflects the philosophy and values of the organisation. Information contained in the articles is consistent with our transition to parenting programmes provided through our 47 Centres.

American writer Roy Scranton wrote recently that COVID-19 and climate change are laying bare what we don’t know. He concluded that our only choice is to embrace our ignorance. “All we have is compassion, patience, and the recognition that every possible human future begins with the end of what came before.” Matariki whetu- ki te rangi. Tangata ora ki te Whenua. Matariki stars in the sky. People wellbeing on Earth. Leigh Bredenkamp

Articles published in this magazine may be reproduced providing they are used for noncommercial purposes and written permission has been provided by Parents Centre. ISSN 1173–7638

The magazine of Parents Centre

Letters

to the editor

The winning letter receives the complete Natural Instinct face care range, truly natural skincare products with active anti-ageing plant-based ingredients and 100% free from over 400 potentially harmful ingredients to you and the environment. Available from leading pharmacies. RRP $102.

Top Letter

Congratulations to the Top Letter winner Rachael Ward from Cambridge, who will win a prize pack from Natural Instinct.

Top letter prize

Bonanza fundraiser in Cambridge The Baby Bonanza was a great warm and sunny morning fundraiser for Cambridge Parents Centre which was held in the Cambridge Primary School Hall on March 8 – a great venue that comfortably held our 18 stalls selling a variety of goods and providing information on community services available. Stalls included Le Leche League which supports breastfeeding mothers, Momentoes who specialise in hand and foot casting, Snuggly Bean who create sensory blocks, Plunket book covers and wet/swim bags that can be personalised, Cloth Nappies and quality second-hand goods plus plenty more. Home baking was abundant including date loaves, slices, brownies, carrot cakes and fresh sausage rolls. Coffee was available too, so visitors were able to

Conscious parenting – want to know more? Check out upcoming programmes at your local Parents Centre: www.parentscentre.org.nz Browse through the resources here: www.skip.org.nz Join ‘Conscious Parenting’ pages and groups on Facebook online and read, read, read! 4Research kiwiparent

wander around whilst enjoying a hot cuppa and delicious treat! Fantastic raffle prizes were donated from National Support Centre and Eden Turuwhenua from Cambridge Bunnings. The Bunnings outdoor prize pack (a BBQ, soccer nets, hat and play mats) was won by Dan Boston, and the Bunnings indoor play prize pack (a Ball Pit tent, wooden dolls, play mats and a hat) was won by Sandi Scafturis. The Parents Centre prize pack (Huggies nappies, Philips Avent breast pump and case, breastmilk storage containers, The Sleep Store woollen cot blanket and more) was won by Hannah. Thanks to everyone for making this event so special! Rachael Ward Cambridge Parents Centre

are you baby ready?

Enter to win We would love you to send us your stories or images of members going on teddy bear hunts that we could put in our Centre pages. The three best entries will win children’s picture books from Penguin Random House. Simply upload your photos to the Kiwiparent Facebook page, or send them to info@parentscentre.org.nz

We’re not scared! During lockdown, a nationwide teddy bear hunt helped keep Kiwi kids occupied, with tens of thousands of homes taking part including that of the Prime Minister, Jacinda Ardern, who put a teddy and two pandas on display at Premier House in Wellington. Farmers took part as well, getting creative using hay and silage bales. What started as a bit of fun to motivate parents and children to go on a walk became a way to bring people of all ages together and show community support during a stressful time. We know many Kiwi parents took part in teddy bear walks during lockdown, and many more placed soft toys in windows to entertain littlies. 

ADVANCED nappy disposal system Powered by Sangenic

Cot constructed. Nappies stacked. You’re ready for anything…right? How about when those nappies get filled? Are you prepared for the smellier side of parenting? The new stylish Twist and Click is the only nappy bin to twist and wrap each nappy for unbeatable odour block.

The only bin that individually seals each nappy for unbeatable odour-block Anti-bacterial film kills 99% of germs On trend colours to suit every home Refill made from 98% recycled plastic

tommeetippee.co.nz The magazine of Parents Centre

Product

information

A cosy sleeping bag perfect for cooler months The Front Zip Duvet Woolbabe is our most popular sleeping bag, much loved for being so easy to use and so cosy. Ideal for autumn through to spring, the Duvet Woolbabe has the heavier feel of a quilt or layers of wool blankets, with the peace of mind that comes with your baby sleeping in a sleeping bag designed with safety as a priority. Helping babies sleep better and stay just the right temperature, your Duvet Woolbabe comes with a free room thermometer and clothing guide, to help make dressing your baby simple and stress-free. New in stock in Kauri Leaves at www.thesleepstore.co.nz

Vivace Espresso – family owned and operated Vivace Espresso is 100% New Zealand owned and operated, supplying highquality coffee to cafés, hotels and restaurants nationwide. The Christchurch-based roastery and café was founded by New Zealand’s longest-serving coffee bean roaster, Bernard Smith, in 1997. Today, Vivace Espresso supplies only the finest quality beans sourced from indigenous plantations around the world to more than 200 wholesale clients nationwide. You can order yours from vivaceespresso.co.nz

A more comfortable feeding experience Philips Avent’s new nipple shields are designed to provide a comfortable and gentle feeding experience for mothers with sore, cracked or painful nipples. The new ultra-thin butterfly shape is designed so the baby’s nose and chin can make contact with the breast, allowing the baby to smell mum’s scent and touch mum’s skin for better skin-to-skin contact and latch. The Philips Avent nipple shields can also help babies with early latch-on challenges to help you breastfeed for longer. With the added convenience of coming in a hygienic sterilisation case, they can be easily sterilised and stored between feeds. www.philips.co.nz

kiwiparent

Zuru leading the way in sustainability Global toy and consumer goods company Zuru has reinforced its commitment to environmental social responsibility by announcing a 360-degree sustainability programme for its top-selling Bunch O Balloons brand, a sweeping transition from plastic surprise polybags to sustainably sourced paper surprise bags. Zuru has also acquired Glove-A-Bubbles, winner of The Toy Association’s 2019 Outdoor Toy of the Year award, which creates bubbles when a glove is dipped in soap and waved through the air. Currently available in different animal and monster themes, the Glove-A-Bubbles brand also includes Wave-A-Bubbles, which doubles the bubble fun, and Big-A-Bubbles, a glove that creates giant bubbles. www.zuru.com

Baby On The Move – passionate about child safety At Baby On The Move, we specialise in hiring all the types of child restraints available from our stores throughout New Zealand. Because we are very passionate about child safety, all members of our team are certified ‘child restraint technicians’ and we will ensure that you understand how to use and install your child restraint correctly before you leave. All hired car seats are cleaned to the highest standard, and in some cases certain child restraints can be hired brand new. We have the biggest selection of child car seats in New Zealand to choose from. Remember your Parents Centre discount. www.babyonthemove.co.nz

The magazine of Parents Centre

Winners of the 2019 cover star photo competition

Be comfortable

in your skin

kiwiparent

It seems that everyone has an opinion on parenting! There are multiple expert views on the ‘right’ way to approach parenting challenges, along with an overwhelming amount of advice from friends, family and society. It can be hard deciding what’s right for your child, and not feeling shamed for the choices you make. At Huggies we believe that, if your children are happy and healthy, you’re doing a great job and should be comfortable with your parenting decisions. Australian psychologist Sabina Read says, “Parentshaming is having concerning impacts on parents with many suffering from mental health issues as a result. We see that mums are typically quick to criticise themselves and take comments to heart, often devastating their confidence as parents. Sadly, this can even have knock-on effects on children who feel their parents’ anxieties. Taking a stand on the issue is the first step to championing all parents.” Huggies speaks to, and hears from, hundreds of parents every day and has witnessed an increase in parentshaming behaviour in its own channels and in wider society. Huggies recognises that it has played a role in depicting a perfect ideal of parenthood, so wants

to lead the charge by championing a culture in which parents feel confident and supported in the choices they make. Ultimately, if your baby is happy and healthy, you’re doing a great job - and you should feel as comfortable as your baby’s skin feels in Huggies nappies. For more than 30 years, Huggies has been helping parents to provide love, care and reassurance to help their babies thrive. From developing innovative, high-quality nappy products, to hosting popular online communities and developing informative digital resources that support new mums and dads, Huggies promises to be there with you every step of the way.

Find out more www.huggies.co.nz @HuggiesNZ on Facebook and Instagram

Continued overleaf... The magazine of Parents Centre

RRP $7.50 (incl GST)

SUPPORTING PAREN

TS THROUGH THE

EARLY YEARS

RRP $7 .50

OCTOBER – NOVEM

BER 2019

(incl

GST)

SUPP

ORTI NG

292

PARE

NTS TH

ROUG

H TH

E EARL Y YEAR

Mee Huggt the Coveries Star

Be comfortable on the cover of Kiwiparent

r competition

Changing our lives

right reasons

ce spr

outdoors with babies

Nailin

postnatal care

g it as

ing and

Encou

and toddlers

raging

a stay-a

a love

t-hom

e Dad

of nat

ure

The maga zine of Paren ts Cent re New Zeala nd Inc

Th e m ag az

in e of Pa re nt

s Ce nt re

Total prize package over $10,000

N ew

flights to and from Auckland (if necessary)

We want to hear everyday stories of when you felt conflicted to conform with what you thought was expected of you as a parent, but instead did what you felt was right for your own child. Huggies believes if your baby is healthy and happy, you’re doing a great job – so we want to celebrate the everyday moments where you were ‘comfortable in your own skin’ as a parent.

lunch and snacks.

Zeal an

d In c

transfers to and from the airport hair and make-up by a professional stylist wardrobe styling professional photo shoot in Auckland

As a bonus, the winner will be able to take away all images from the photo shoot as a memento of their special day. The winner will also receive six months’ supply of Huggies products and feature on the Huggies social media account as a Huggies ambassador to empower other parents to also feel comfortable in their parenting abilities and choices.

What the judges are looking for: Authentic parenting stories. Owning your style of parenting, because only you know your child best. A photo of you and your child to be a bit imperfect (not contrived), relaxed, comfortable. The winning entry will receive a photo shoot with a professional photographer and appear on the cover of the October/November issue of Kiwiparent, with an accompanying interview on your story. The photo shoot will take place in Auckland the week commencing 3, August, 2020. The lucky winner will be a star for a day with:

Entries open at 9am on Monday, 15 June, 2020 and close at 9am on Friday 10 July, 2020. To enter, simply visit the competition post hosted on the Huggies New Zealand Facebook page. Share a story and photo of you and your bub In the Post Comments. www.facebook.com/huggiesnewzealand 

Terms and conditions (Full Terms and Conditions available online) Entry is only open to New Zealand residents who are aged 18 years or over. Employees of the Promoter and their immediate families, participating suppliers and agencies associated with this promotion are ineligible to enter. Entries open at 9am NZST on Monday 15 June, 2020 and close at 9am NZST on Friday 10 July, 2020. To enter, entrants must locate the competition post hosted on the Huggies New Zealand Facebook page and share their stories and photos in the Post Comments. Valid entries will be judged based on their relevance and creativity and judging will be done by Resolution Media.

Huggies New Zealand will comment kiwiparent on the winning entries to notify the

winners. It is the responsibility of the winner to check back on the post to determine if they are the winner, and to send an email containing their contact details within seven days of the Promoter’s post that announces the winner. For privacy reasons, the Promoter will not contact the winner by private message to notify them of their winning entry. If for any reason a winner does not contact the Promoter to provide their details within the time stated above, the prize will be forfeited, and the Promoter may choose to judge additional entries. Huggies' six months’ supply of product includes: 20 packs of Huggies Ultimate nappies bulk packs; Huggies Baby

286

play out

To celebrate Huggies’ new campaign ‘Be Comfortable in Your Skin’ and to enter the 2020 cover star photo competition – simply tell us your approach to parenting, your way, and send us an accompanying photo!

If your story and photo is selected as the winner, you will receive a prize package worth $10,000!

2018

doors

48 hours fully funded

Babes in backpacks

Tackling the great

Mes marvsey is llous Dads rock! Sowin g the se eds Embra

Did you know? You are entitled to

MBER

Identi fyi with aty ng and hel pical dev ping chi ldren elopm ent

Surrogacy

Doing it for all the

NOVE

Wh normaat is l?

the 2019 Huggies coversta

Sleep

BER –

Meet the Huggi winners of es Cover the Star com 2018 petitio n

Introducing Huggies covthe er stars

Meet the winners of

OCTO

Wipes (four pop-up tubs and six 240s refill packs); 10 packs of Huggies change mats; and eight packs of Little Swimmers Swim Pants. The prize, or any unused part of the prize, is not transferable or exchangeable and cannot be taken as cash.

all means whatsoever (including, without limitation, in print and electronic formats) for any purpose. All entrants agree that the Promoter may re-post their image entries including on the Promoter’s Facebook, Twitter or Instagram accounts and the Promoter’s websites.

The entrant confirms that their entry is their own original work and not copied in whole or in part, and that the entry does not infringe the intellectual property rights of any third party.

The Promoter’s decision is final, and the Promoter will not enter into any correspondence with entrants other than the winner(s) in relation to this promotion or the prize.

By submitting an entry, the entrant grants the Promoter and its affiliates, agents and representatives an exclusive, royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable, transferable, worldwide licence to use, edit, reproduce and exploit their entry by

The use of any automated entry software or any other mechanical or electronic means that allows an entrant to automatically enter repeatedly is prohibited and will render all entries submitted by that entrant invalid.

your hugs.

Whatever touches their skin, should feel as gentle as

Every baby is different, but there’s one thing they all have in common. Their skin is up to 10x thinner than adults. That’s why we’ve designed HUGGIES® Newborn Nappies. HUGGIES® Newborn Nappies are our driest and most breathable, to provide our best care for your baby’s delicate skin. It’s the hug that looks after their skin while they wear it. HUGGIES® Newborn Nappies are clinically proven to help prevent nappy rash, quickly absorb runny poos and have the same trusted absorbency and protection that you expect from all HUGGIES® Nappies. There’s nothing like a hug. ®/TM Trademarks of Kimberly-Clark Worldwide, Inc. or its affiliates. ©KCWW. ©Disney

The magazine of Parents Centre

Adjusting to

a new normal Pregnancy and birth in a pandemic

kiwiparent

These have been strange and challenging times for everyone in Aotearoa and the world. If you are pregnant or are one of the 6,000 women who have given birth during lockdown, there have been even more layers of stress for you to manage. Being required to stay at home 24/7 can be hard. In a short period of time, we have been separated from our friends, our support networks, our communities, our workplaces and our wider wha-nau. Unlike many countries that have limited the time to exercise, New Zealand has allowed people to go out in their neighbourhoods during the day, but sometimes this is not feasible, especially with a new baby. Even something simple like going to the supermarket becomes a logistical nightmare when you have a baby or toddler in tow. Plus, you may have faced the fear of being isolated in hospital if you went into labour and your partner or other members of your wha-nau were not able to stay with you. Your community-based midwife may also have to adapt to provide care in a different way, which might have meant you felt even more worried and isolated. Under Levels 3 and 4 partners were not allowed to go with wa-hine into maternity ultrasound facilities. These measures were put in place to protect everyone, including the sonographers, and to reduce exposure and transmission. But it was yet another cause of angst. You may have planned for your family to be on hand to help and support you when your baby arrived, but pandemic restrictions would have made that impossible for most of you. You will have been looking forward to spending time with other new mums and babies, catching up with your antenatal class mates and sharing birth stories. Although we have done well as a country, we still don’t know when life will return to the normal we took for granted before the virus arrived and changed everything.

Research is currently underway to understand the impacts of COVID-19 on pregnant wa-hine. While data is still limited, at present there is no evidence that they are at a higher risk of severe illness than the general population. However, due to changes in their bodies and immune systems, we know that some pregnant wa-hine can be badly affected by some respiratory infections. This means it is really important that they take precautions to protect themselves against COVID-19, and report any possible symptoms – fever, cough or difficulty breathing – to their midwifes or GPs. Women who are in their third trimesters should take extra precautions to keep themselves well at a time when their growing babies place higher oxygen demands on them.

Symptoms of COVID-19 a cough a high temperature (at least 38°C) shortness of breath sore throat sneezing and runny nose temporary loss of smell

What do we know so far? So, what have we learned about COVID-19 and the impacts it has on pregnant women – do we know yet if they are more vulnerable to this illness than others?

If you have any of these symptoms, ring Healthline on 0800 358 5453 or call your GP – don’t show up at a medical centre.

Continued overleaf... The magazine of Parents Centre

Pregnant wa-hine working in areas where there is a high risk of exposure to COVID-19, for example some healthcare settings, should discuss the risks with their employers and look at options for working differently if needed. If you can’t work something out and it isn’t possible to work from home, you need to sort out leave from work and make all the necessary arrangements with your employer.

What you can do to protect yourself It is important to take more precautions than you would normally to protect yourself against all infections, including COVID-19, by avoiding close contact with people who have colds or flu-like illnesses. Additional things that you and your wha-nau and friends can do include: Staying at home and asking others to pick up supplies for you. Ask them to leave these at the door. Staying at least two metres away from people not in your bubble. If you’re unwell, avoiding contact with people – but be sure to let your midwife or GP know how you are feeling, or call Healthline. Your healthcare provider may advise you to wear a mask when in public because you have a vulnerable immune system, so follow that advice whenever you go out. If you’re taking immunosuppressive drugs, the Ministry of Health advises you not to stop your medication without first consulting your GP or specialist. There may be financial support for people in situations where they need to stay away from work and are not able to work from home.

Defeating an invisible enemy Basic hygiene measures are the most important tools for stopping the spread of infections, including COVID-19. Wash your hands regularly with soap and water, or cleanse with hand sanitiser. Stay at home if you are sick.

kiwiparent

Can babies get COVID-19? We know it is possible for people of any age to be infected with the virus, but so far there have been relatively few cases of COVID-19 reported among children. We still do not know if a pregnant woman with COVID-19 can pass the virus to her foetus or baby during pregnancy or birth. To date, the virus has not been found in samples of amniotic fluid or breastmilk.

Do antibiotics work against COVID-19? Antibiotics do not work against viruses. COVID-19 is a virus, so antibiotics are not effective as a means of either prevention or treatment.

Cough or sneeze into a tissue or your elbow and then perform hand hygiene. Clean surfaces regularly. Using personal protective equipment such as face masks and gloves can reduce the spread of infection – but only when used correctly and in the appropriate context. This may be recommended in workplaces where people are likely to come in contact with the disease. The advice from the Ministry of Health is that face masks are still not recommended for most people in the community – unless they are suffering from respiratory infections. If you choose to wear a mask, you need to know how to use it properly as there are risks associated with using masks poorly. Check out the World Health Organisation website for more information on how to use a face mask correctly.

Contact tracing Once a case has been identified, the Ministry of Health and District Health Boards use contact tracing to track down all the people who may have been exposed to the virus. There are two types of contact – and close contact and casual contacts and the health services will give advice to people of both these types on what they need to do. Senior Maternity Advisor at the Ministry of Health, Amanda Rouse, says it is important for pregnant wa-hine to keep their bubbles as small as possible to reduce the risk of exposure to themselves and also to midwives and their wha-nau. Midwives have been one of the only health professionals who continued to visit homes, even if for shorter times than usual. “I know that wa-hine have been affected by not having their usual supports, but I believe that what we have done as a country has ensured that as many wha-nau and friends as possible get to see babies and be part of their lives as they grow up.”

Caring for yourself Perinatal Anxiety and Depression Aotearoa (PADA) Educator, Liora Noy, has some simple advice for wha-nau. “We all have to learn to accept what we can’t change – like the pandemic and its effects on our daily lives – and try to see what we can still control. We need to continue to commit to our values – things like love

Continued overleaf... The magazine of Parents Centre

and care for ourselves and each other, and for our pe-pi who are coming or have just arrived, and compassion for those working hard to take care of us. We have to learn to take actions that will lead us to cope.” Liora suggests one way to practise self care is to use BACE daily. It is best if you try to do one of each every day:

B – activities that take care of your Body Exercise as allowed, sleep and good nutrition – all things that are so important to every pregnant woman – are even more important now. Try to take a few short walks every day, even if it is raining. If you are concerned about contact, try first thing in the morning or in the evening, and try less travelled streets. Focus on going to sleep every night at the same time and turn off devices at least an hour before bedtime. It can be addictive to stay glued to your screen, but it is not good for you or your pe-pi. You need sleep, so it is best to do some quiet reading, talk to your partner, listen to music or practise mindfulness before you go to sleep. Try to nourish your body with the healthy foods that you and your baby need.

A – activities that give you a sense of Accomplishment Work from home if you can, bake something yummy for you and your wha-nau. Take up a sewing, crochet or knitting project, making something for your pe-pi. Learn a craft or take up a hobby!

C – activities that Connect you with important people in your life Get in touch with friends, parents and your extended wha-nau. Call them daily or use messaging/Skype/ Zoom, or something similar to have group video chats. Send photos and videos of your expanding belly and your new baby to everyone to stay connected and get the support and love you need.

E – activities for Enjoyment Find ways to still have joy! Can you put on some music and dance or sway? Can you listen to your favourite music? Can you sing? Can you draw? Can you read? Or just make sure you watch something funny on Netflix every day?

kiwiparent

Find out about COVID-19 from trusted sources COVID-19 health advice 0800 358 5453 www.health.govt.nz/our-work/diseases-andconditions/covid-19-novel-coronavirus The World Health Organisation will keep reviewing and updating its information and advice as more evidence becomes available. www.who.int

If it all gets too much – reach out for help There are people who can help you. If you have a counsellor, they are available even at a distance. Contacting your Parents Centre antennal group to discuss how you are feeling and share your experiences with other mums who are going through the same thing. If you are having difficulty coping, seek out help. Mental health professionals are on the ready to help you through this crisis. Free call or text 1737 to talk to a trained counsellor. They’re available day and night.

Places to go if you need support www.depression.org.nz/covid-19/ pregnancy-and-new-parents www.mentalhealth.org.nz www.pada.nz www.alcoholdrughelp.org.nz Small Steps Facebook page www.facebook.com/SmallStepsNZ www.midwife.org.nz/midwives/covid-19/ covid-19-information-for-women www.parentscentre.org.nz Leigh Bredenkamp 

Reading Eggs is the multi-award winning online reading programme for kids aged 2â&#x20AC;&#x201C;13. Based on scientific research, the programme is proven to increase reading levels in just 15 minutes a day! Join 10 million users worldwide and start your 30-DAY FREE TRIAL today.

FREE 30-DAY TRIAL Claim your free trial now at

readingeggs.co.nz/care2 Offer ends soon. Valid for new NZ customers only. The magazine of Parents Centre

Learning how to

be kind

kiwiparent

In New Zealand and around the world, societies are wrestling with issues that challenge our views of compassionate and caring societies. Here in Aotearoa we all had our lives upended with the COVID-19 pandemic, when our government swiftly imposed a country-wide lockdown to halt the spread of the virus. The vast majority of us complied with the lockdown restrictions – we were encouraged by our Prime Minister to stay home and stay safe. And, of course, be kind. Stay in our bubbles, take care of each other and ourselves. We know that the virus is more harmful to some members of our society than others – the elderly, the immune compromised, those with underlying health conditions. So we all tolerated and embraced the massive changes to our lives so that we could save the more vulnerable in our communities. We lived kindness. So when do children learn how to value the feelings of other people? And how do we, as parents, help them to develop a sense of kindness and empathy? Understanding and showing empathy is the result of many social-emotional skills that develop in the very first years of life. One of the most important milestones is establishing a secure, strong and loving relationship between you as a parent and your child. Feeling accepted and understood by you helps your child to develop a firm foundation so they can learn how to accept and understand others as they grow.

From six months on… At around six months babies begin to use social referencing. This is when a baby will look to a parent or other loved one to gauge their reaction to the person or situation. For example, a seven-month-old will use social referencing when new people arrive or when unfamiliar people approach them – especially if you try to leave them with others or in a new situation. Your response as a parent will influence how the baby responds: they will react to your tone of voice, facial expressions, body language and touch. This is why parents are encouraged to be positive and reassuring – not anxiously hovering – when saying goodbye at daycare, preschool or kindy. It sends the message that ‘this is a safe place’, these people are great to be with, and ‘you will be OK’. Social referencing – or being sensitive to a caregiver’s reaction

in new situations – helps babies understand the world around them. For many years to come, children will use social referencing to assess whether a situation or person is safe, or whether they need to be worried, and, if so, how much. When a baby is between 18 and 24 months of age, they develop a theory of mind. This is when they first realise that, just as they have their own thoughts, feelings and goals, others have their own thoughts and ideas that may be different from theirs. At around the same time they learn to recognise themselves in a mirror. This important milestone shows that your child has developed a firm understanding that they are a separate and unique person. Use ‘I’ messages. This type of communication models the importance of self-awareness: I don’t like it when you hit me. It hurts.

Continued overleaf... The magazine of Parents Centre

So how can you cultivate empathy in children?

with your child; a well-crafted story draws children into the lives of the characters and helps them learn to see the world differently.

First of all, start with safety and security. Fear interferes with the development of empathy, so learn to set limits at home with respect and love.

Notice your child’s feelings, describe them, and empathise with them. Talk about these feelings and help them learn to use words to describe their inner experiences. Show your child that it is OK to show a range of feelings towards you, particularly anger. Speak about it and acknowledge these difficult emotions.

Establishing regular routines builds a sense of predictable security for children and also helps them practise self-regulation skills – these skills are the foundation for empathy. By learning to calm themselves, regulate emotions, delay gratification, persevere and stay focused, children develop skills that allow them to look beyond themselves. Tell stories that help children see the world from the perspectives of others. Read great children’s books

Relationships are so important. Help children build relationships that inspire them to trust and care for others.

kiwiparent

It is important to model empathy yourself. Notice the lives of others, talk about your experiences of practising empathy, and be honest about the times you’ve forgotten to act with sensitivity to others’ feelings. Explore with your child how they can show kindness and practise with them. Involve them in being empathic towards others in practical ways. For example, you could say, “Let’s take this cake over to Mrs Neighbour because she has just come home from hospital” or “Let’s get little Jonny an ice pack to make his knee better; he bruised it so badly when he fell off the swing”. Talk with older toddlers about feelings and empathy as you play. For example, you might have your child’s toy dinosaur say that he

does not want to take turns with his friend, the stuffed kiwi. Then ask your child, “How do you think kiwi feels? What should we tell this silly dinosaur?”

Learn to say sorry Adults need to be patient; empathy takes time to develop and it cannot be forced. It is not helpful to overemphasise the issue. Saying: “You have to apologise to Jonny now because you pushed him over. If you don’t say sorry to Jonny you will not get your toy back” is unlikely to help the situation. We often insist that our little ones say “I’m sorry” as a way for them to take responsibility for their actions. But many toddlers don’t fully understand what these words mean.

While it may feel ‘right’ for them to say “I’m sorry”, it doesn’t necessarily help them to learn empathy. Little kids do not always understand what ‘sorry’ means and why they have to say precisely that word. If we force it, the “I’m sorry” becomes meaningless and is not a sincere response. In addition, they may then also dislike the parent for making them say it. To help your child learn how to take responsibility for their undesirable actions and learn empathy, help them identify other children’s feelings, connect the feelings and reactions and their actions, and then most importantly help them take responsibility in practical ways: “Now look Jonny, little Miss Muffet is rubbing her knee and she is crying

because she hurt her arm when you pushed her over. Let’s ask her if she is OK and what we can do for her to make her feel better”. Saying sorry is often also not what the child who’s been hurt wants, as that won’t necessarily make them feel better; they might just want the perpetrator’s favourite toy for five minutes to make up and soothe their feelings! It is good to have realistic expectations of your child’s developmental ability; you simply can’t expect a threeyear-old to be sorry straight away and make their friend feel better for pushing them over, although the friend took their favourite toy. It doesn’t matter that they weren’t playing with it at the time. In their eyes it is still their favourite toy and

Ways to help your child learn to be kind Empathise with them. Talk about others’ feelings. Suggest ways they can show kindness. Read stories about feelings. Be a role model of kindness. Validate their difficult emotions. Use pretend play to talk about feelings and empathy.

Continued overleaf... The magazine of Parents Centre

it is not to be touched at ANY TIME BY ANYONE, ANYWHERE. Moral development goes through stages and we need to be realistic in our expectations if we want to nurture our children accordingly. But that’s another topic, for another issue. Remember to, be patient; developing kindness takes time. Your child probably won’t be a perfectly empathetic being by age three. In fact, a big and very normal part of being a toddler is focusing on me, mine and I. Remember, empathy is a complex skill and will continue to develop throughout your child’s life.

What is empathy? Empathy is the ability to imagine how someone else is feeling in a particular situation and respond with care. It is a very complex skill to develop. Being able to empathise with another person means a child:

Kerstin Kramar PGDipClinPsych, NZCCP

Kerstin is a clinical psychologist. She lives in Wellington with her husband and three children aged five, seven and 17 whom she adores. They get her thinking about babies and teen parenting at the end of every day. She has worked as a psychologist with kids, teenagers, and families. Kerstin has a specialises in general parenting, the moral/ empathy development of children and teens in foster care, attachment and autism.

kiwiparent

Understands they are a separate individual. U nderstands others can have thoughts and feelings that are different from theirs. R ecognises common feelings that most people experience – happiness, surprise, anger, disappointment, sadness, etc. Is able to look at a particular situation (such as seeing another child cry when being excluded from a game) and imagine how they and therefore other people might feel. An example for a small child is seeing their friend have an accident (eg, falling over, having a cut or bruise, or generally just crying; the reason does not need to be apparent to the very young ones). One- to three-year-old’s will respond as they have learnt, eg, a stroke on the cheek, a kiss or a cuddle, or bringing their friend something special, eg, cuddlies, blanky. C an imagine what response might be appropriate or comforting in a particular situation, such as giving a kiss, bringing their friend something special or giving them a comforting hug. 

KEEP YOUR PĒPĒ SAFE

It’s the law that all babies need to be secured in a child restraint/baby capsule. We know that installing a child restraint isn’t the easiest thing to do, so we have a range of free and helpful videos, which are available in English and Te Reo at www.nzta.govt.nz/childrestraints You’ll find a range of tips, FAQs and installation guide videos to view. You can also watch a discussion of the child restraints basics, by clicking on ‘Buying and installing child restraints’ at the top of the webpage.

The magazine of Parents Centre

Safe seats

save lives

kiwiparent

One of the most important jobs you have as a parent is keeping your child safe when travelling in a vehicle. Keeping your child safe depends on choosing the right car seat and using it correctly every time. The best car seat is the one that fits your child’s weight, height and age, and is properly fitted into your vehicle. Car seats can be a confusing business – once you’ve finally worked out which seat is suitable, you have to install it correctly! All child car seats in New Zealand must be certified to one of three standards and be suitable for the age, weight, height and physical development of each child. The three standards are: Australian/New Zealand Standard AS/NZS 1754: This can be identified by the Australian ‘tick’ mark. United States Standard FMVSS 213: Restraints that comply with this standard must show the number FMVSS 213. They carry the ‘S‘ mark to show they have been certified for use in New Zealand.

Did you know? The type of child restraint to be used depends on the age, height and weight of your child. Child under seven years of age? Must legally be in a child restraint. Child under two years of age? Best practice says keep them in a rear-facing child restraint. Child over the age of seven but under 148cm tall? Best practice says keep them in a child restraint. www.nzta.govt.nz

European Standard ECE 44: This is labelled with a circle containing an ‘E’ (the number in the circle varies depending on the European country where the seat was manufactured).

Top tips for choosing baby’s first car seat All car seats sold or hired should meet one of these approved standards. However, some brands significantly exceed the minimum safety requirements of these standards and provide better protection. I believe that one of the best brands available is Graco, which we stock exclusively in New Zealand. These car seats not only meet the US FMVSS 213 standard but also have been ProtectPlus engineered. Graco ProtectPlus engineering is a combination of the most rigorous crash tests assessing performance in frontal, side, rear and rollover crashes, and additional testing based on the New Car Assessment Programme (peak crash force testing approximately x2 car seat standard), and also tested for extreme car interior temperatures.

Check the manual Before selecting a car seat, check your vehicle’s manual. Car seats can be installed using either the vehicle seat belt or the LATCH/Isofix system, where an anchor bar or bracket is located between the seat cushions in the back seat. Your vehicle may also be equipped with anchor bolts, which may be required by certain types of car seat.

Baby’s very first seat For newborns, there are two kinds of car seat: a rearfacing infant car seat with base, and a rear-facing, convertible car seat. An infant car seat (capsule) is small and has a carry handle. It usually comes with a detachable base that remains secured in the car.

Continued overleaf... The magazine of Parents Centre

The capsule clicks into and out of the base quickly and easily. Convertible seats are bulkier than capsules, do not come with carrying handles or bases, and are designed to stay in the car. They ‘convert’ from rear facing to forward facing later on. We recommend that you hire an infant car seat (capsule), as your child will only use it for a short period of time. This saves you money and reduces the number of expired car seats going to landfill, which is better for our environment. When your child outgrows their infant seat, you can purchase a convertible car seat that will grow with your child.

Use and install your car seat correctly Installing a car seat can be a complicated job. Read your manual and follow the directions exactly. For newborns, the seat should always be solidly installed, rear facing, at a 45-degree angle and have less than 2.5cm of sideto-side movement at the belt path (where the seatbelt goes through). If it has a top tether, use it as per instructions (some seats MUST be tethered at all times). Our child restraint technicians are trained specifically to install varying types of car seat, taking the stress away and teaching you how to use your car seat correctly.

Rear facing for first two years We recommend that you rear face your child at least to the age of two, or as long as possible. Young babies’ necks and spines are especially at risk since their heads make up approximately 25% of their body weight. Rear-facing seats support babies’ heads, necks and spines and babies are up to five times better protected in a crash when rear facing than they are when forward facing.

kiwiparent

NEVER use a seat that has expired or is damaged, and remember, children are safest in the back seat. Car seat safety is a priority at Baby On The Move, which has more than 20 years’ experience in hiring and selling car seats. We’re passionate about car seat safety, and believe that the more informed people are about car seats, the safer our children will be. With child restraint technicians in all our stores, we can explain to parents, caregivers and grandparents which car seats best suit children’s needs. Please visit www.babyonthemove.co.nz or call 0800 222 966 for your nearest store. Toddler/Booster seat information to follow in the August/September issue. 

Claire Turner Claire is the Director of Baby On The Move and a child restraint technician/trainer/assessor specialising in child restraints for over 18 years, plus a wife and mother to two teenage boys. She is constantly researching new and innovative car seat restraints and has just recently returned from Atlanta (USA) visiting the Graco HQ and its testing facility.

Safety first, with

% oor fafll

f Centre t n e r a P ers. Memb : PC10* DE USE CO

SnugLock® 35 LX Capsule & Base

Triogrow™ Snuglock® LX 3-in-1

Tranzitions® 3-in-1

TurboBooster® Highback

Help protect your little ones in frontal, side, rear and rollover crashes. New Zealand ‘S’ Safety Standard. EXCLUSIVELY AVAILABLE FROM BABY ON THE MOVE NATIONWIDE

New Zealand

0800 222 966 / www.babyonthemove.co.nz

*Offer expires 31st August 2020. The magazine of Parents Centre

Kia pai tou ta-tou Matariki!

Matariki a time for celebration and remembrance

kiwiparent

Matariki (Pleiades)

Traditionally, Matariki is a time to prepare; to learn, share ideas and celebrate the future. Just as the Northern Hemisphere prepares for spring and growth on 1 January, here on the other side of the globe Matariki is our time to move from one year to the next. These days there are many ways to celebrate Matariki with tamariki that remind us of our connections to the past.

The stars of Matariki

Wha-nau activities:

Matariki is a small cluster of tiny stars, also known as the Pleiades. The Matariki constellation twinkles on and off in such a way that one second you see the stars, and then they’ll be gone. This has given rise to two translations – mata riki, tiny eyes; and mata ariki, eyes of god.

Develop a recycling plan.

Towards the end of May each year, Matariki rises in the north-east in the same spot as the rising sun, around half an hour before dawn. This signals the beginning of Matariki celebrations.

D raw up a plan for a spring garden and start to gather seedlings.

As the year moves from autumn towards the shortest winter day, sunrise moves north along the eastern horizon. When the sunrise reaches Matariki, it turns around and starts moving south again. This effect can be seen everywhere on the planet and makes the stars of Matariki famous around the world.

Papatu-a-nuku (earth mother and wife to Ranginui) Matariki is a time to prepare the whenua on which we live. In the middle of winter the land is in its most inactive phase, so Matariki is the perfect time to make plans for your spring garden. It’s also a good time to learn about the land and the forest.

L earn the names of the trees and plants in local forests and reserves. L earn which plants you can eat, and which help to heal.

Plant native trees and shrubs.

Whakapapa (genealogy) Because Matariki was a relatively inactive period of the year, this allowed extra time for study and learning. Now is a good time to learn about your wha-nau and remember those who have passed on from this world to the next. A focus on our whakapapa gives us a better understanding of who we are, where we have come from and where we are going. It is also a great way to bring wha-nau together to share stories and knowledge. Wha-nau activities: Start your own whakapapa chart or book. O rganise time to bring grandparents and grandchildren together to share stories.

Continued overleaf... The magazine of Parents Centre

During Matariki we celebrate our unique place in the world. We give respect to the whenua on which we live, and admiration to our mother earth Papatu- a- nuku. Throughout Matariki we learn about those who came before us. Our history. Our family. Our bones. Matariki signals growth. It’s a time of change. It’s a time to prepare, and a time of action. During Matariki we acknowledge what we have and what we have to give. Matariki celebrates the diversity of life. It’s a celebration of culture, language, spirit and people. Matariki is our Aotearoa Pacific New Year.

Record oral histories on video. C reate something to remember those who have recently passed on. O rganise an iwi or wha-nau gathering to learn whakapapa.

Ranginui (ancestor or god of the sky and husband to Papatu-a-nuku) Matariki is one of many significant stars in the southern skies. The night sky contains a massive number of stars, which were used by Ma-ori as a way to calculate time and seasons, navigate oceans, preserve knowledge, maintain customary practices, and inspire action and achievement. One story tells of Ranginui literally lifting out of the eastern horizon with the start of the new year, marked out by the stars of Matariki, Puanga and others: Matariki at his right shoulder, Puanga at his forehead, Tautoru (Orion’s Belt) at his neck and Takurua (Sirius) on his left shoulder. Wha-nau activities: L ook for Matariki in our north-east skies just before dawn. F ind shapes in the stars and map them on your own star chart.

kiwiparent

M ake up your own story using the shapes in the stars. V isit an observatory or find a local astronomer to learn more about the stars. P aint or craft some artwork as an image for the year ahead.

Takoha (gift or donation) Matariki falls at the end of the harvest and was therefore a time of plenty – it was a time to share and present offerings to others. Giving is a key part of many cultural celebrations all around the world. Matariki is no exception – it is a time to give what you have to spare to those in need. C lear out your toys and clothes and donate to charity. Give your time to a project. D o something for somebody who will not be able to do it for themselves. D onate to a charity organisation or a local sports club. Gift some food from your shopping to a foodbank.

Find out more Material prepared courtesy of Tuhia mai towhakautu ki roto i te Reo Ma-ori. www.tepapa.govt.nz www.tetaurawhiri.govt.nz www.koreromaori.co.nz www.ma-tereo.co.nz www.teara.govt.nz my.christchurchcitylibraries.com/matariki-for-kids-2

Ha-kari – te whakangahau (banquet or feast) The first new moon after the rise of Matariki signalled the start of the new year celebrations – traditionally these celebrations could last for up to three days. With the food stores full, feasts were held and attended by prominent visitors. Everyone gathered together to see in the new year. Wha-nau activities: M ake a wish for the new year when you see the new moon. Call wha-nau and friends together to celebrate the new year. Learn how to weave a star. P repare a feast to farewell the old year and see in the new one. B uild a kite and fly it on the first day of the new year. 

The magazine of Parents Centre

Tuning in to

nature during lockdown One unexpected delight of the lockdown weeks was the explosion of wildlife both here in Aotearoa and around the world. Animals took advantage of silent cities, with curious groups setting out to explore in search of food or just to play. Photos were widely shared online of deer grazing in an east London housing estate, monkeys playing in city streets in India and wild goats strolling through the Welsh down of Llandudno.

kiwiparent

Satellite imagery from the European Space Agency shows that air pollution levels around the world reduced significantly. With cruise ships gone and souvenir stalls closed, the lockdown transformed Venice’s waterways. There were even increasing signs that Earth’s protective ozone layer is recovering.

During lockdown, many families took the welcome opportunity to go for walks in the autumn sunshine. With roads virtually empty of traffic, people took to the streets to ride bikes and scooters or simply roam their neighbourhoods. This was a perfect time for children to learn more about the creatures who share Earth with us.

Bake some treats for your cat or dog

Animal activities for Kiwi kids

2 tbsp honey

These changes may – at least in the short term – have significant impacts on the health of the ocean. With fishing fleets tied up, marine life has had a chance to recover. In Aotearoa we have seen pods of orca whales and dolphins visiting our city harbours and playing close to the coast. In April, a massive sunfish was spotted checking out Wellington Harbour.

Need to keep your cubs busy over the cooler winter months? Try out some of these activities with your children.

Birdlife around Aotearoa have also spread their wings a little further and enjoyed the quiet streets. Kereru- have been landing on back fences, pı-wakawaka have been seen playing in cities and tu--ı have been heard singing loudly at the crack of dawn. “One of the main things that people are noticing at the moment is just how vocal the birds are,” Zealandia Centre Director Danielle Shanahan says. “They’re not having to compete with the constant traffic noise and as a result we’re hearing them much more.”

Explore your community The Department of Conservation asked Kiwi kids to put together a list of things they love to do in nature and has published a list of fun things wha-nau can do. These can be around your home, in your backyard, on your deck or balcony, and from window views.

Go on a scavenger hunt Explore nature to see what you can find, from feathers and shells to colours and smells.

Why not bake some healthy and delicious treats for your pets? SPCA has some great recipes for that special fur baby in your life.

Cinnamon pumpkin balls ½ cup pumpkin, mashed

2 tbsp water 1 cup rolled oats 1 cup wholemeal flour ½ tsp baking powder 1 tsp cinnamon

Animal activ

For kids who Before giving

love animals

this activity book

to children, please

ity book

and want to

review the content

protect them

to ensure it is

age appropr

iate.

World Animal Protection has put together some tips to keep your young ones busy in an educational, yet fun way with a kids’ activity booklet, it highlights ways to protect wildlife such as elephants and dolphins.

Preheat the oven to 180°C. Mix the mashed pumpkin, honey and water together. Add the oats, flour, baking powder and cinnamon to the mixture and stir until dough forms. If the consistency is too wet, add oats until it’s firm. Scoop out small spoons of dough and roll into balls on your hands. Set the balls onto lightly greased baking paper and flatten slightly with a fork. Bake for 20 minutes or until dough is hardened. www.spca.nz

www.worldanimalprotection.org.nz

P lay colour bingo – how many colours can you spot?

F ound animal tracks? Can you act out the animal that made them?

F ollow animal tracks – who made them and where have they gone?

S tick your favourite natural materials in a nature journal.

H unt for different textures – can you find smooth, rough, prickly and soft? What can you hear and smell?

Then get creative with the treasures you have found. C reate some wild art with natural objects you find.

C reate a museum of nature and exhibit the special materials you find. Share your findings with wha-nau and friends. You could take them on a museum-of-nature tour. Tell them how collecting these special objects made you feel. www.doc.govt.nz 

The magazine of Parents Centre

Help to keep breastfeeding

with nipple trauma

A nipple shield is a shaped, thin, silicone breastfeeding tool that goes over the mother’s nipple and some – or all – of the areola, creating a barrier between the breast and the baby’s mouth. The aim is to help breastfeeding continue in situations that either make it difficult for the baby to latch/feed or cause pain and discomfort for the mother.

kiwiparent

Sometimes women experience sore or cracked nipples during their breastfeeding journey. This is primarily caused through a latching issue. When a baby is welllatched on, there shouldn’t be any pressure or trauma to the nipple at all, in fact the nipple should be far enough into the baby’s mouth that mum won’t feel it at all. Sometimes however, baby’s slip down the breast when tired, or mum hasn’t quite got enough of the areola in baby’s mouth, or if there is an issue such as tongue tie for example, this can put pressure on the nipple resulting in a cracked or sore nipple. Getting professional help for this immediately and learning to correct the latch is critical in solving this problem and for long term success.

According to The Breastfeeding Atlas by Barbara WilsonClay and Kay Hoover, written descriptions of nipple shields appeared more than 500 years ago – so they are not necessarily a modern invention. Some studies suggest that nipple shields don’t alter infant sucking patterns (Woolridge 1980), but the fit of a shield in both height and diameter is important to the success of its use – both need to be taken into account to get a good fit for the baby’s anatomy as well as the mother’s breast and nipple shape. A study of preterm infants showed that milk transfer with a nipple shield was significantly higher than milk transfer without. Using a nipple shield can help a baby transition from bottle to breastfeeding and can ’buy time‘ for a mother who is ready to wean due to breastfeeding problems. Another small study in 2009 showed that 67% of the women said that using shields allowed them to continue breastfeeding, and there was no statistical difference in weight gain over two months. However, according to Dr Jack Newman’s Guide to Breastfeeding, nipple shields create more problems than they fix and decrease milk supply – he believes mothers would be better to give expressed milk in a bottle. Either way, a nipple shield should not be the first intervention used for problems with breastfeeding, but rather a tool for consideration after other suggestions have been tried. Nipple shields have been shown to be useful in situations such as flat or inverted nipples, disorganised suck and sore nipples.

Which one should I choose? There are a few nipple shield brands and shapes available. Often the selection comes down to what works and is easily available in local stores. Most are very similar in design. Some have a circular silicon ’base‘ that sits over the areola, while others have a cut-out section on one or more sides. Above are four common styles of nipple shield from three different brands. Each brand has its own range of sizes; some are available in small (15mm) or standard (21mm), others in medium (20mm) and large (24mm),

or simply 16mm, 20mm or 24mm. The size is the measurement at the base of the nipple shape, where it joins the base. However, from the pictures above it is fairly easy to see that nipple shape and size vary from brand to brand as well. It’s important to pick a shape that will fit your nipple AND your baby’s mouth as well as possible. Your nipple should not feel squeezed across the width or be rubbing against the end of the shield.

What to avoid The aim of a nipple shield is to provide some protection to the mother’s nipple from trauma caused by the way the baby is feeding, or to assist a baby to latch better than they can naturally, while a solution is found to the cause of the trauma. The shield is there to provide assistance and protect breastfeeding; however, some nipple shields are designed specifically to keep the baby’s mouth as far away from the nipple and breast as possible. These types of shield do not support breastfeeding at all and can lead to the rapid end of breastfeeding. To remove milk efficiently, the baby must take the nipple and a good mouthful of breast tissue in their mouth. A nipple shield that prevents the baby doing this should not be used. Nipple shields that look similar to those in the pictures above are usually supportive of breastfeeding; however, if the shield looks different from these, or similar to a bottle teat on top of a base, seek further advice from your lactation consultant or breastfeeding support specialist before using it.

How should I apply the shield? It may take a bit of trial and error to see what works best for you and your baby. It can be frustrating to get a shield applied and then have it fall off as soon as your baby gets close! Some people find applying a little breastmilk to the underside of the base of the shield can help it stick a little; others prefer warm water. Two ways that seem to generally work well are shown in the video here: www.breastfeedingmaterials.com.

Continued overleaf... The magazine of Parents Centre

The first is simply to turn the base area of the shield upside down so the shield looks a little like a sombrero. Hold the tip of the nipple part, centrally position the nipple part over your nipple, pushing the shield down quite firmly over and around the edges of your nipple, then with the other hand smooth down the base area over the areola/breast.

For the first three months of a baby’s life, it is very important that nipples shields are sterilised prior to use, after this age, wash with warm soapy water and rinse well, then air dry. When you are out and about, it should be fine to wash the shield in warm soapy water, rinse well and store in its container for use again until you are home and able to re-wash and air dry.

The other way is similar, but the nipple shield is turned partway inside out, with the base area being turned further up the sides of the nipple-shaped part. Apply the shield centrally over your nipple, pushing down quite firmly over and around the edges of your nipple. Use your other hand to smooth down the base of the shield over the areola/breast.

You don’t need to have several packs of shields for days out. When you sterilise nipple shields, avoid sterilising tablets or similar as silicon absorbs the chemicals.

It can sound a little tricky, but once you’ve done it a few times, it will become easier.

Feeding with the shield The same ’rules‘ apply when feeding with a shield as they do without. Your baby needs to be close to you, your baby’s tummy facing your tummy, starting with your nipple just above the baby’s top lip, waiting for a wide gape, and then bringing your baby tight into your breast to latch with their chin touching your breast first: tummy to mummy, nearly nose to nipple, chin first. If you are having trouble latching your baby or your nipple shield prevents your baby having a deep latch and being close to your breast, speak to your midwife, Well Child nurse, lactation consultant, La Leche League leader or other breastfeeding support specialist.

Cleaning and storage Most shields come with a small storage container, but if not, any small container will do fine. When you have finished feeding, if it’s not comfortable to leave the shield in place for a few minutes, it can be a good idea to put the shield in the container just in case your baby decides they would like a little top-up before they finish.

Is it working? The easiest way to know your baby is getting enough milk is by weight gain and nappy output! If your baby is gaining good weight, they are getting enough milk. If your baby is having lots of wet and dirty nappies, they must be getting milk too. If your baby’s weight gain has been a concern prior to using nipple shields, it might be worth arranging with your midwife or Well Child nurse to weigh your baby in a couple of days to see how things are going. If you have been concerned about milk supply, remember the more you feed your baby, the more milk you will produce, so look to feeding your baby more regularly for a few days, to boost your milk supply. Check in with your local Le Leche League, Lactation Consultant, or other professional to get further help and information on this. When your baby is feeding well with the shield, you should see evidence of milk in the shield, your breasts should feel softer and emptier after feeding, and your baby should finish the feed looking relaxed and satisfied; often their hands will be soft and relaxed by that point. If you have been concerned about milk supply, remember the more you feed your baby, the more milk you will produce, so look to feeding your baby more regularly for a few days, to boost your milk supply. Check in with your local Le Leche League, Lactation Consultant,

Continued overleaf... 36

kiwiparent

More comfort, more milk When you are comfortable and relaxed your milk flows more easily. Our breast pumps are designed so you can sit comfortably, with no need to lean forward. Our silky, soft massage cushion stimulates your milk flow mimicking babyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s suckling.

www.philips.co.nz/avent www.facebook.com/Philips.Avent.NewZealand

The magazine of Parents Centre

Find out more The Breastfeeding Atlas 5th Edition 2013 Barbara Wilson-Clay, Kay Hoover

Guide to Breastfeeding 2014 Dr Jack Newman or other professional to get further help and information on this. When your baby is feeding well with the shield, you should see evidence of milk in the shield, your breasts should feel softer and emptier after feeding, and your baby should finish the feed looking relaxed and satisfied; often their hands will be soft and relaxed by that point.

Counselling the Nursing Mother – a Lactation Consultant’s Guide 5th Edition Breastfeeding Answers Made Simple 2010 Nancy Mohrbacher www.laleche.org.uk/nipple-shields www.breastfeedingmaterials.com

What next?

globalhealthmedia.org/videos

If your baby is feeding well with the shield – good weight gain and milk supply not compromised in any way – there is no need to rush to stop using it. The most important thing is that your baby has a good deep latch when feeding and doesn’t use the shield like a straw or teat, with a shallow latch; this can lead to low weight gain and a reduction in milk supply. The shield will not fix whatever the problem was in the first place; it is simply a tool to help maintain breastfeeding while the source of the problem is resolved.

kellymom.com/ages/newborn/bf-basics/ latch-resources www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjt-Ashodw8

Denise’s mum and her daughter

If your baby had a shallow latch that caused damage to your breasts leading to the use of the shield, the shallow latch still needs to be resolved. Removing the shield without solving the issue will lead to the same problems returning. Once you are confident that feeding is going well and issues have been resolved, you can start to see if your baby is happy to feed without the shield. Some babies are happy to do so, others take more time, and some will happily continue with the shield for their entire time of breastfeeding – even if that is months or years. Some tips to try when weaning from a nipple shield are: Have lots of skin-to-skin contact when feeding your baby, allowing them to use their natural instincts to find the breast. Remove the shield partway through the feed. Feed your baby as soon as they wake. Feed at the earliest feeding cues while they are still calm. Try feeding in a different position, or even standing up and walking around. Express a few drops of breastmilk so your baby can taste milk immediately. If an attempt to feed without a nipple shield is not successful, try not to feel stressed or anxious; stay calm and continue the feed with the shield. Attempts to persist and force your baby to feed without the shield will make feeding stressful and unsuccessful for both of you. 

kiwiparent

Denise Ives Denise is a La Leche League leader based in Dunedin, where she has lived for 10 years since leaving England. She is also a qualified breastfeeding counsellor, having completed a diploma in England with the University of Bedfordshire and National Childbirth Trust. Denise founded The Breast Room® in Dunedin, a drop-in breastfeeding support clinic where parents can go for free one-to-one breastfeeding support. Denise has two children aged 26 years and 16 years, and a five-year-old granddaughter. Denise enjoys walking her dogs, playing clarinet, reading and knitting.

In this section We’re still here for you Big coffee group catch up Childbirth education programmes

Proudly educating and supporting parents through the early years We understand the challenges of parenting and that there is no ‘one size fits all’. Our world has been upended as the spread of COVID-19 has changed the way we live. Expectant parents have suddenly found that they have been separated from their wha-nau, support networks and friends at a time when they needed them most. What drove this organisation back in 1952 from its very beginnings continues to drive us today. It’s as simple as this: parents have the right to trustworthy and researched information so they can make informed choices. In the decades since 1952 our range of classes has certainly expanded but their central purpose hasn’t: we provide the very best, researched information and respect parents to make their own informed choices. In this section we look at the way Parents Centre stepped up to meet the challenge of providing childbirth education classes online and started a new online coffee group initiative to keep parents connected. www.parentscentre.org.nz 

Congratulations to Andrea Smith, Jaimee Westcott, Hannah Silvester and Lee Wilson. Their coffee groups have each won a postlockdown coffee group catch-up at a café of their choice on us. Follow their stories in the August/September issue of Kiwiparent. Jaimee Westcott took a picture of her antenatal class’s first postnatal catch up. Jaimee says; “Our group is special because this weekend will be our first postnatal “coffee/zoom catch up” all our babies have been born in Level 4 and Level 3 of lock down. It’s been a pretty hard time for all of us, but we are glad we have technology.”

The magazine of Parents Centre

We’re still here for you When the news about the pandemic spread, Parents Centre quickly made provision to continue providing antenatal classes online.

the right information to help them become new parents while staying safe from COVID-19. “Stay in contact with your local Centre. They are there to help you become the best parent possible for your child.”

“COVID-19 meant we rapidly changed the way we provide information for parents to make their decisions around childbirth and parenting,” says Chief Executive Heather Hayden. “In March we moved to a more flexible approach, using video and online group meetings.

During the Level 4 lockdown, most mothers were unable to physically meet with midwives and partners were unable to visit during the postpartum period in hospital. Alison Eddy, Chief Executive of the New Zealand College of Midwives, says it has been a really strange and anxious time for a lot of expectant parents.

“We know that the information a new parent needs is time critical. We can’t tell them to come back in three months, so we acted quickly to ensure all our parents who were in classes or had booked classes didn’t miss out.” Currently, as we move through the different Alert Levels, new parents have a choice of attending classes in person or joining in through Zoom or other technology. Prospective parents who are in classes or have booked classes should contact their local Centre for information on how their classes will continue. Heather says the most important thing for us is that those expecting to have their baby in the next few months should feel confident that they are getting

kiwiparent

“There is a lot of uncertainty for pregnant women about what this virus means for their and their babies’ wellbeing as well as the impact on the choice of place of birth and what support they can draw around them as their babies are born and they become a new parent,” Alison says. “In my experience as a midwife and as a parent, the connections that families make through childbirth education networks are vital. It is not just in the early weeks of your child’s life but in the months and years ahead that you will continue to need support.” 

We’re still your community For almost 70 years Parents Centre has been providing antenatal classes throughout Aotearoa, and over this time we’ve seen a lot of changes, none more so than currently. As expectant or new parents, we know this may be an anxious, an unsettling and possibly a lonely time. The great thing is, Parents Centre is still your community; we are here for you providing information to alleviate fear and connect you with other parents in the same boat. When we found that we could no longer hold our classes face to face, we knew we had to move them online. After all, we couldn’t ask babies to stay inside Muma’s tummies for an extra few months! Our facilitators stepped up to the challenge, learned new technology platforms and set about creating new resources and ways to ensure the classes were informative and still loads of fun. Our classes are different from other online meetings! T hey’re not just about learning and giving knowledge. They’re not just a PowerPoint presentations. T hey’re not lectures that will bore you to tears and send you to bed early. This is because we are privileged to have the most awesome group of fully qualified Childbirth Educators who have high degrees of facilitation skills and experience. Parents Centre’s online classes continue to be interactive, fun and engaging, encouraging participant input and connection – despite their not being in the same room together.

This is what the attendees have to say:

“ Our facilitator was great at delivering the information. Our last two classes were available online due to COVID-19, appreciate the effort to make this happen.” “ Our facilitator did an excellent job with the classes – she strikes a really good balance between being humorous and knowledgeable and keeping the class on track. We had to do our last couple of classes via Zoom and you were fantastic presenting remotely too.”

At Parents Centre we are famous for our coffee groups, and it is purely the way our classes are facilitated that nurtures and fosters these groups – your coffee group will still happen!  Liz Pearce Parent Education and Operations Manager

The magazine of Parents Centre

Big Coffee Group Catch Up On Mother’s Day, Parents Centre and Vivace Espresso called on families of all ages and stages around New Zealand to check in with their original coffee groups and show support for their villages by connecting online in The Big Coffee Group Catch Up. Parents Centre Chief Executive Heather Hayden says the bonds formed in a coffee group when babies are little can last a lifetime. “We hear reports of groups still catching up five, ten, even 40 years after the birth of a first child. These relationships are what get many through the first few months of parenthood as well as the trying times ahead.” This year, Mother’s Day fell when the country was still in lockdown and proved a great opportunity to honour those friendships and offer support to others who may be finding life challenging. Parents were invited to register their antenatal coffee group for The Big Coffee Group Catch Up on Parents Centre’s Facebook page, then schedule a call with their group. By posting a photo of their coffee group, tagging them, and explaining what is special about their group, they went into a draw to win a bag of Vivace Espresso delivered to their door in time for Mother’s Day. “We were thrilled to support a worthy organisation like Parents Centre,” says Vivace Espresso General Manager Paul Baker. “As a family-owned and -operated business, we value community and like to support organisations

kiwiparent

that make a difference. We hope parents will enjoy our coffee and use it as an opportunity to reconnect during these challenging times.” 

Each edition of Kiwiparent profiles one of Parents Centre’s renowned parent education programmes.

This month the spotlight is on:

Childbirth education (antenatal) programmes Many incredible changes occur to a woman’s body when she becomes pregnant. The wonderful thing is that it all happens without conscious thought. For example, the baby’s fingernails begin forming without mum looking up developmental stages and thinking ‘this week it’s nails!’ How incredible is that? So, why attend pregnancy and childbirth programmes or classes if a growing baby happens without a textbook or instructions? Surely birthing and breastfeeding will be the same? The answer is “yes, they are”. Giving birth is a natural physiological event, as is breastfeeding. In this modern world, however, we are no longer surrounded by birth and breastfeeding in the course of our lives. For many women the first experience they have of birthing is when they give birth themselves. This is not helped by the media’s widespread portrayal of birth, which is often far from reality. Sadly, this leaves some lacking in confidence and mothers lacking in the knowledge required to trust her own body. This is where antenatal – or childbirth education – programmes can be a lifeline for couples

who want well researched, up-to-date information on the basics of childbearing. Parents Centres’ childbirth education programmes cater for all situations, including when labour doesn’t go to plan and trouble-shooting for times when breastfeeding can be challenging. Information is power and, in an often medically oriented birthing situation, this knowledge is empowering for both parents. Many parents also find it extremely rewarding to have the opportunity to take time out of their busy lives to dedicate a couple of hours a week to planning for the birth of their babies. The ‘coffee groups’ that follow the class series become lifelines for some. To network with other parents at the same stage of life, experiencing similar challenges and joys, is confidence boosting and very rewarding. The programmes are run by qualified professional Childbirth Educators who are skilled in knowledge and in facilitation, to ensure that your experience of antenatal classes is fun, interactive, valuable and informative. Go to www.parentscentre.org.nz to find out about antenatal classes running in your area. 

The magazine of Parents Centre

Find a Centre near you Parents Centres span the entire country, with 47 locations around New Zealand. Contact your local Centre for details of programmes and support available in your area, or go to:

www.parentscentre.org.nz

North Island Auckland Region 1 Wha-nga-rei WaitemataBays North Harbour Hibiscus Coast - newa O

Bay of Plenty Tauranga Whakata-ne Rotorua TaupoTaranaki

Auckland Region 2

New Plymouth

Auckland East

Stratford

Papakura

South Taranaki

Manukau

East Coast North Island

Franklin

Central Hawkeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bay

Auckland Region 3

Hawkeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bay

West Auckland

Central Districts

Central Auckland

Palmerston North

East & Bays

Wairarapa

Waikato Thames-Hauraki

Wellington Ka-piti

Morrinsville

Lower Hutt

Hamilton

Mana

Cambridge Pu-ta-ruru - torohanga O

Upper Hutt Wellington North Wellington South

South Island Northern South Island Nelson Marlborough Greymouth Canterbury Region Ashburton Christchurch Timaru Oamaru Southern Region Alexandra Balclutha Dunedin Gore Taieri

kiwiparent

Great parents

grow great kids

Arm yourself with knowledge as you grow as a parent alongside your child, by taking part in one of the Parents Centre programmes that run nationwide. Having a new baby is a time of significant change – your brain is working overtime with questions and your body is going through amazing changes. It’s quite a journey. Parents Centre has been supporting parents for 65 years. Become a member of Parents Centre and we can support you too! You’ll get access to quality pregnancy, childbirth and parent education that will help you gain invaluable knowledge on your pregnancy, childbirth and early parenting journey. It’s a great way to meet other new parents who are on the same journey as you. They often become lifelong friends. You get support through coffee groups that meet on a regular basis, and ongoing education programmes to help you navigate the stages of pregnancy and parenthood. With 47 Centres nationwide, we provide many opportunities for social engagement for both parents and children. Many of our Centres offer playgroups and music classes, and these are a great way to learn with your children while you get to socialise with other parents at the same time.

You also gain skills and experience that will be a real asset when you decide to rejoin the workforce. We look forward to having you join our Parents Centre family and supporting you on your parenting journey! Early Pregnancy – a special programme tailored for your 12th to 24th weeks of pregnancy. Pregnancy, Childbirth and Parent Education (Antenatal) – essential information to prepare you for childbirth and early parenting. Baby and You – practical and sensible tips and advice for enjoying and making the most of those first months with your newborn. Parenting with Purpose – consciously focusing on how you want to parent and how your child ticks. Return to Work – advice on preparing for and returning to the paid workforce. Magic Moments – strategies for positive communication and discipline with your child. Moving and Munching – exploring baby’s first foods and developmental stages.

As a Parents Centre member you will receive loads of free giveaways and samples, as well as special discount shopping days, and discounted products and services exclusive to Parents Centre members. Who doesn’t love freebies and discounts?

Music and Movement – stimulating music activities for your baby and toddler.

Many of our members gain so much from being Parents Centre members that they want to ‘give back’ and become volunteers for their local Centres, ensuring that new parents can continue to benefit from the skills, knowledge, friendships and support they’ve received.

www.parentscentre.org.nz 

Tinies to Tots – positively encouraging your emerging adventurous toddler.

The magazine of Parents Centre

As simple as

driving to the dairy Early detection of autism Kiwi parents can now check if their toddlers are showing early signs of autism spectrum disorder (ASD), simply by tuning into their car radio in their car radio. Autism New Zealand launched the ‘Toddler Driving Test’ in April, a world-first initiative designed to navigate the considerable barriers to early testing by delivering an accessible early detection test where every toddler can be found – in the booster seat in the family car.

kiwiparent

"The earlier we identify children who may have autism, the sooner we can provide effective support to them and their wha- nau. It is important that we all work together to bring down the age of identification." Hannah Waddington, Victoria University of Wellington’s Autism Clinic

Autism is thought to affect one in 59 New Zealanders, and while many signs of autism can appear as early as infancy, the average age of diagnosis in New Zealand is six and a half years. For many children, diagnosis may not come until after they have begun school. With many parents beginning to return to their cars as we move down COVID-19 Alert Levels, the Toddler Driving Test aims to help Kiwi parents to identify early signs of autism in children from 12 months of age, so that they can have further assessment and possibly diagnosis. Autism New Zealand’s Chief Executive, Dane Dougan, says he hopes that this campaign will not only help lower the average age of diagnosis through early detection in New Zealand but equip families with the tools they need early on. “The beauty of the Toddler Driving Test is its simplicity. In many cases a test wouldn’t be conducted at all unless a child was showing significant signs, but now parents are potentially able to detect early

signs of autism in the car while listening to their favourite radio station.” Dane explains that the earlier autism is detected and in turn diagnosed by qualified clinicians, the sooner families can access everything they need to help them connect with their children and connect their children with the world. Studies have indicated that children diagnosed early demonstrate better verbal and overall cognition at school age, are more likely to attend mainstream school and require less ongoing support than children diagnosed later. The short audio clip is designed to be played in the car and prompts parents to do three simple tests with their toddler – checking their response to their name, their eye contact and their ability to imitate their parent. The test is a simple 60-second tool that any parent can use with their toddler, whether they have concerns about developmental delays or not.

Continued overleaf... The magazine of Parents Centre

Dane says, “It is not a diagnostic tool in itself but may highlight signs of developmental delays that could prompt parents to pursue further testing.”

Common signs of autism in toddlers include: a lack of eye contact unresponsiveness to their names a lack of interaction they don’t imitate their parents Dane says it is important to note that these are not conclusive signs of autism. “But these signs may be early indicators of developmental delays that could prompt parents

kiwiparent

to seek further testing, which could lead to diagnosis.”

Things you can do if you are worried your child has autism The Autism NZ website has a general step-by-step guide that can be tailored to children and guides the user through the diagnosis process. There is also the option to to download the ASDetect app which is a comprehensive tool used to identify autism in children. ASDetect is a free app that empowers parents and caregivers to assess the social attention and communication behaviours of their

children younger than two and a half years – between 11 and 30 months of age. The video-led self-assessment app is based on comprehensive research conducted at the Olga Tennison Autism Research Centre in Melbourne. The research underlying this app is 81% accurate in the early detection of autism and other related developmental conditions. ASDetect guides parents through each assessment using a combination of videos and questions, as well as activities that you can do with your child. Each assessment takes between 20 and 30 minutes to complete. Once you have completed an assessment, you receive an on-

Find out more Parents can access the Toddler Driving Test at toddlerdrivingtest.co.nz For more information or to speak to an Autism New Zealand Outreach Coordinator, please visit www.autismnz.org.nz

Cosy winter must-haves & sleep essentials

Free expert sleep advice & New Zealand’s best infant sleep & parenting essentials for you & your baby. Visit our online store today.

Crane humidifiers & aroma diffusers

Leading range of carriers & accessories

EXCLUSIVE Merino sleep essentials

Cuski comforters & accessories

Dane Dougan Chief Executive

screen result of either ‘low’ or ‘high’ likelihood of autism, as well as a comprehensive formal assessment results email.

What pathways are available for families to get support? Every are throughout New Zealand has its own processes and pathways available for families. Autism NZ Outreach Coordinators located throughout the country are there to guide and support families through these pathways and to be on hand to offer support when needed. Outreach Coordinators are experts in their locations and are able to provide the accurate

information needed when going through the diagnosis process. Each District Health Board also has a Developmental/ASD Services Coordinator to support the diagnostic process and follow-up care. Dane says that if parents have any concerns at all about their children’s development of verbal/social skills or other developmental delays, he strongly encourages them to try early detection tools or seek further testing. 

Yogasleep Hushh & Whish white noise

Free eBook!

Our 68-page guide to newborn sleep is free to account holders! Create your account at The Sleep Store and add a copy to your cart today!

Member only savings! Parents Centre members can can get exclusive discounts on selected styles from The Sleep Store! Go to thesleepstore.co.nz/content/parents-centre for further details & start saving today!

thesleepstore.co.nz facebook.com/SleepStore

The magazine of Parents Centre instagram.com/thesleepstore

Best protection when it is needed most

kiwiparent

Why do some people not want their children to have vaccines? As parents we all want to do what is right for our children. A small percentage of people are fearful about giving their children vaccines. There is a range of reasons for this. The decision can be particularly difficult because many of us do not have personal, direct experience of the very severe side effects of infectious diseases and focus on the very rare but known side effects of the vaccine. Some people have had previous bad experiences with their healthcare services or heard scary stories from social media, whanau or friends. Some people believe vaccinations are bad for their child or will cause them harm. For some, vaccination does not feel natural or they do not believe infectious diseases will affect their own children badly.

It’s fair to say that taking a baby for their immunisation isn’t everybody’s favourite job, but it’s necessary and needs to be done – even during a global pandemic. The Royal New Zealand College of General Practitioners is reminding wha-nau that regular healthcare continues to be vitally important, even as we tackle the spread of COVID-19. That means parents need to call their GPs and make an appointment for their children’s immunisations if they’re due. GPs are set up to care for their patients safely, so parents should not worry that they will be exposing their wha-nau to risk by taking them for their scheduled immunisations. College Medical Director Dr Bryan Betty says that Kiwis need to make sure to call their doctors for appointments and keep up to date on their regular healthcare and not save it up until we get to a lower COVID-19 Alert Level. The timing of the different vaccines provides the best protection at the age when it is needed most. Your baby’s immune system has a huge capacity and babies are exposed to countless new germs every day. The effects that immunisations have on the immune system are tiny in comparison. It’s been theorised that a baby’s immune system could effectively manage more than 10,000 times the amount of vaccines they actually receive when they are vaccinated.

If you’re feeling unsure, the best approach is to find a doctor or nurse who you feel you can genuinely trust to talk through your fears and concerns.

The whooping cough booster reduces the risk of mum catching whooping cough, and the special proteins (antibodies) her body makes in response to the vaccine are passed on to the unborn baby. So baby doesn’t get any vaccine, just their mother’s naturally produced antibodies. This gives baby temporary immunity to whooping cough when they’re born, before their own immunisations start. Children then receive their own vaccines over several visits.

Age

Diseases covered and vaccines

Pregnancy (2 injections)

Booster dose against diphtheria/tetanus/ whooping cough Seasonal influenza

6 weeks

Delaying vaccines can increase the risk of your child getting very sick because their immune system hasn’t learnt how to fight infection yet.

3 months

Understanding the Schedule…

(2 injections and one dropped in mouth at each event)

The National Immunisation Schedule – simply known as the Schedule – provides the most effective way to help avoid a range of preventable diseases. It’s a great idea to familiarise yourself with the Schedule – so here’s a quick look to get you up to speed. The Schedule starts before baby is born, with an influenza vaccine and a whooping cough booster vaccine for mum during pregnancy. This is because influenza is a serious risk to pregnant mums. They are five times more likely to end up in hospital because of the flu than if they weren’t pregnant. Influenza infection can also affect the growth of the unborn baby.

5 months

15 months (4 injections)

Diphtheria/tetanus/ whooping cough/polio/ hepatitis B/Haemophilus influenzae type b (Hib) Pneumococcal Rotavirus (given orally)

Haemophilus influenzae type b (Hib) Measles/Mumps/Rubella Pneumococcal Varicella – chickenpox

4 years (2 injections)

Diphtheria/tetanus/ whooping cough/polio Measles/Mumps/Rubella

Continued overleaf... The magazine of Parents Centre

Early protection

About vaccine safety

Early on, we want to provide protection against rotavirus – this gastrointestinal virus is the most common cause of diarrhoea, vomiting and dehydration in babies.

Like all medicines, there are benefits and risks when using vaccines. Because we give vaccines to healthy and very young children, it’s completely understandable to have some initial concerns about them, especially when the risk of catching a disease might appear so slim.

Getting those first three doses of whooping-coughcontaining vaccine on board is also a priority. Infants who do not receive on-time doses of whooping-coughcontaining vaccine at the scheduled times of six weeks, three months, and five months are five times more likely to be hospitalised with whooping cough than babies who were vaccinated on time. Around half the babies under one year who catch whooping cough will end up in hospital. One or two in 100 of those hospitalised will die from pertussis infection. Babies can temporarily stop breathing and their brains do not get enough oxygen (hypoxia). In around two in 1,000 children, whooping cough leads to permanent brain damage, paralysis, deafness or blindness. Pneumococcal vaccine protects against pneumococcal bacteria. Invasive pneumococcal disease occurs if the pneumococcal bacteria pass into the blood, resulting in a severe form of pneumonia, blood infection and meningitis, and can infect other normal, germ-free sites around the body, including the heart muscle, joints and abdomen.

Before kindy and school Your child will receive booster doses of some vaccines to increase their immunity when they are 15 months and four years old. They will also be protected against measles, mumps, rubella and chickenpox viruses that can cause severe damage in some children.

All vaccines undergo extensive testing as part of clinical trials for many years before being used in immunisation programmes. These clinical trials follow all participants to see if those who have the vaccine experience any unacceptable adverse reactions. Even after a vaccine is approved, any expected or unexpected negative health events following an immunisation are reported. These events are collected around the world and analysed to see if they might have been caused by the vaccine. In this way the safety of all vaccines is continually assessed. All vaccines available in New Zealand are very safe to use. As with all medicines, there is a risk of an extremely rare allergic reaction (called anaphylaxis), which can occur immediately after having a vaccine and where baby’s breathing becomes restricted by swelling. This occurs in approximately one dose in a million, and all nurses/doctors are trained to look out for and treat it. This is why you’re asked to wait 20 minutes before going home after immunisations.

Article written with information supplied by The Immunisation Advisory Centre 

Find out more

Later on

www.health.govt.nz

By the time your child starts secondary school they will have a high level of protection against 14 serious but preventable diseases. These include diseases like HPV and hepatitis B, which can cause cancers later in life.

www.immune.org.nz

kiwiparent

Healthline on 0800 611 116

R O F R E N N I D ? S Y E S N A E O E L T T I L R U YO Smiling Tums Pasta Spirals with Chicken & Vegetables Serves

Cook Time

Prep Time 10

Ingredients

• 1 cup wholemeal or buckwheat pasta spirals • ½ cup orange kumara, grated • ½ cup beans, chopped into 2cm pieces

• 1 Smiling Tums Chicken & Vegetables pouch • ½ cup parmesan, grated

Method 1

In a medium pot, bring lightly salted water to the boil. Cook the pasta as per packet instructions. When there is five minutes cook time remaining, add the kumara and beans. Drain once cooked.

2 Add the Smiling Tums pouch

and half the parmesan and mix together.

Smiling Tums baby food is naturally sweetened with fruit and veges. Check out countdown.co.nz/smilingtums for more recipes.

3 Serve garnished with the

remaining parmesan.

PER SERVE Energy 1132Kj • Protein 14g • Total Fat 7g • Saturated Fat 4g • Carbohydrates 36g • Sugars 7g • Sodium 160mg

Dietary and nutritional info supplied by NZ Nutrition Foundation

The magazine of Parents Centre

Take a deep breath:

you’ve got this

It’s not always easy to stay calm with kids – especially if you’ve been in lockdown together and everyone is stressed. As we move to different Alert Levels during the COVID-19 pandemic, families are put under a lot of pressure and sometimes it can all pile up. Managing your anger isn’t easy, but it can be done, even if you’ve got into the habit of yelling and lashing out. The best way to help your kids learn to manage their emotions is by showing them through your behaviour.

Identify your triggers Everyday life can be very stressful for parents. What’s really making you angry often has little to do with the way your kids are behaving. Actively managing your own stress levels and knowing your triggers can help you to deal with your anger better, so you don’t fall into the trap of taking it out on the kids. Common anger triggers include:

breathing faster heart pounding getting hot

alcohol and other drugs

tensing up

job or relationship stress

clenched teeth

taking on too much

What to do when you’re about to lose it

lack of sleep

Do any of these sound familiar? What about you; what are your anger triggers? Is there anything you could change or deal with better?

kiwiparent

Often it feels like anger takes us by surprise. But there are lots of physical signs that anger is building up. If you recognise when you’re starting to get angry you can begin to calm yourself down. Early warning signs include:

money problems

no time to yourself

Know your early warning signs

You can calm yourself down quickly using these simple steps: T ell your child you need a minute to calm down. Reassure them you’ll be back.

Nobody’s perfect – and most of us have had times when we’ve snapped or lashed out at our kids.

M ove away – somewhere you can still hear your kids are safe. B reathe – deep breaths help to slow down your heart rate and calm you further. C ount to ten, sing, jump – use up that energy in safe ways! I f you’ve calmed down, give yourself a pat on the back and go back and talk to your child. Nobody’s perfect – and most of us have had times when we’ve snapped or lashed out at our kids. If you do, it’s important to say you’re sorry and talk about how you both can do better next time. This is not a sign of weakness. It teaches your kids that no one behaves perfectly all the time, not even mum or dad. But that we all need to take responsibility for our own behaviour.

Having a bad day? If you’re feeling wound up, it’s a sign that you need to take action. Here are some tension-busters that have worked for other parents. E xercise helps reduce stress. Try grabbing the pushchair and taking the kids for a quick walk around the block.

When your kids are angry Angry kids can often become angry adults. So it’s really important to help them learn how to handle their feelings, especially the scary or angry ones. Here are some tips to try:

www.kathyfray.com

Get empowered peace-of-mind with your own copy of NZ’s No.1 best-selling Birth & Babies book since 2005!

A lways acknowledge their feelings. Start off with something like “I can see you’re feeling… (angry/annoyed/frustrated) … but it’s not OK to pull your brother’s hair”. B e clear about the behaviour you expect and be consistent with consequences. T ry to remain firm but fair – and stay calm so you won’t feed their anger. M ake time to talk about how they feel and how you feel – eg, happy, sad, scared. This helps them to recognise what they’re feeling and understand that not all emotions are about anger. T ry to have some special time with each child every day, even if it’s just 15 minutes. 

Feel Childbirth confidence with your own copy of my FREE download guide to Labour and Birth

Described by many as the best infant sleep-secure ever designed, the MotherWise Babe-Sleeper is made with a loving blend of modern and old-fashioned wisdom.

P lay a silly game or talk in a funny voice. Humour is a great way of releasing tension and making everyone feel better. D rink a glass of cold water. It only takes a minute and helps you cool down and re-focus. L et music help. Put on some music and sing or dance. R each out. Phone a friend or a helpline.

SKIP www.whanau.skip.org.nz RU OK? 0800 456 450 Skylight 0800 299 100 PlunketLine 0800 933 922 Healthline 0800 611 116

Day-1-Baby Heirloom Layette Bit unsure of the difference between correctly dressing a 1-Day-Old versus a 1-Month-Old? Own the perfect award-winning organic merino outfit for your precious brand new Baby

www.rootswings.com 55

The magazine of Parents Centre

korero

A flash way to Help your tamariki to ko-rero Ma-ori with these illustrated flashcards designed to partner with Stacey Morrisonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s My First Words in Ma-ori.

kiwiparent

Stacey Morrison (Te Arawa, Nga- i Tahu) is a familiar face to most Kiwis as her different projects have spanned 25 years. She’s been a popular broadcaster and presenter for more than two decades, scoring her first role on What Now at the age of 18, although many may remember her as the bubbly co-host of Mai Time, a groundbreaking show for Ma- ori that launched the careers of a number of other Ma- ori broadcasters and reo advocates, such as Quinton Hita and Teremoana Rapley. Stacey’s love of language learning, and desire to understand her heritage language, started when she was a student in Japan. In 2016 she won the Te Taura Whiri i te Reo Ma-ori Champion Award for te reo Ma-ori. Stacey is the co-host of the Drive show on The Hits, having previously worked on Mai FM and Flava. Her most recent TV credit was Wha-nau Living, which included the whole Morrison family on screen, offering lifestyle ideas and projects, all while speaking te reo Ma-ori.

Stacey and her husband Scotty are dedicated to promoting and revitalising te reo Ma-ori and were appointed kaiarahi (mentors) at Massey University’s Te Pu-tahi-a-Toi (School of Ma-ori Knowledge) in 2017. She lives in Auckland with Scotty and their three children, who are all proud to speak Ma-ori as their first language.

in Ma-ori and English, and is grouped into five topics: the family, emotions, clothing, animals, and food and drink. The flashcards are suitable for everyone, from preschoolers to adults. 

The My First Words in Ma-ori pack includes: 5 0 picture cards, with the Ma-ori word on one side and the English on the other. T e reo phrases to ask and answer while using the flashcards. S tacey’s tips and ideas for different activities and games with the cards. Content covers early learning concepts and high-frequency words

The magazine of Parents Centre

Renovating

with kids

kiwiparent

Play to the current passions of your kids when planning the look of their new bedrooms. This music-loving boy got a guitar-shaped silhouette for his wall, painted in Resene St Kilda against a wall in Resene Half Raven.

Renovating a house can be a stressful and busy time for anyone, but when there are kids of any size in the family, it adds a whole new layer of difficulty to the project. Babies need clean, dustfree and noise-free environments. Toddlers need to be kept safe and older children may well feel ignored as you traipse around product showrooms all weekend and pore over plans, samples and budgets each evening. nvolving your children in the process will make it a fun time for all the family and will make you feel less guilty for all the energy and time you’re spending away from them. The level of involvement will depend on the age of the children, but even preschoolers can have fun with some testpots, ‘painting’ their bedrooms.

Plan for chaos Try to be as organised as possible so that your house is in chaos for as short a time as possible. Keep part of the house sacrosanct and intact, so that it becomes a haven to which you can all retreat. Have a designated play area, blocked off from the mayhem of the renovation. If you are doing the painting or DIY yourself, try to tackle one room at a time, and finish it completely before starting the next. Tag team your DIY so that one of you is looking after the kids while the other is working on the house. You might like to time a family holiday around the most disruptive part of the renovation project. So when there’s no working kitchen or bathroom, head off on a road trip. If you need to be around to supervise or make decisions, maybe the kids could have a week away at their grandparents’ house or with extended family or friends.

Continued overleaf... The magazine of Parents Centre

Encourage your kids to choose their own colour schemes. The colours and stripes for the bedroom at left - Resene Tutti Frutti and Resene Ecru White – were chosen by its inhabitant as they reminded her of a drinking straw, and the bold blue on the right was chosen because the bedroom‘s inhabitant loved the name of the colour – Resene Captain Cook.

Get them involved The most, and possibly only, exciting part of a renovation for the kids will be… destruction. If you are repainting, re-wallpapering or removing wall linings, give the kids carte blanche a few weeks out to draw, paint and scrawl all over the walls. Encourage their inner artists, safe in the knowledge that it does not matter. Make sure they know this is a one-off to say goodbye to the old walls, not something they should do on the new ones! If one of them creates a masterpiece, you can always cut out that section of old wall lining and frame it for them to keep. Get them involved in any minor demolition, with safety always front of mind. Buy a set of kiddy tools and encourage your budding builder to ‘fix’ the house. Just make sure they’re not tackling the new wall linings. Resene testpot brushes are cheap and are a perfect mini size for kids. Help them make a cool blackboard ‘city’ with timber offcuts. Cut the ends into roof shapes and paint the fronts and backs with Resene Blackboard Paint, then use chalk to draw windows and doors. Or the kids can paint their mini buildings in colourful testpot paint. The kids can make their own room dioramas out of wooden crates or boxes. Get them to try out their own colour schemes by painting the insides of the crates to represent the wall colours, then furnishing them with dollhouse furniture, or they can make their own. Get them to create their own colour schemes by painting an A3 card with testpot colours or giving them colour charts or A4 drawdown paint swatches to cut up and rearrange. Having children choose their own bedroom colours is an obvious way to get them involved. When they say ‘green’ they may be thinking bright Kermit green, but you can always steer them towards a more muted green that fits with your plan for the rest of the house. If they’re adamant they want that bright green, buy a cheap or second-hand bedside table and paint it in their chosen colour. Use Resene Enamacryl (gloss) or Resene Lustacryl (semi-gloss) for this; both are tough waterborne enamels that are perfect for painting furniture and easy to wipe clean.

Continued overleaf... 60

kiwiparent

Use spare renovation materials to make toys. This blackboard ‘city’ is made out of framing offcuts and painted in Resene Blackboard Paint.

Let your ideas loose all over your walls with Resene Write-on Wall Paint.

Get

! g n i t i r w

Simply apply over your existing light coloured wall paint. Then once dry and cured you can use whiteboard markers to write all over the wall without damaging the surface. And when it’s time to delete an idea just grab a soft cloth or whiteboard eraser, rub out the marker and start again. With Resene Write-on Wall Paint there’s no limit to your ideas.

The magazine of Parents Centre

0800 RESENE (737 363)

www.resene.co.nz

How about a wallpaper that the kids can colour in? If you put this up early in the renovation, theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll spend happy hours on the task while you get on with the DIY or reno wrangling. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s design 292909 from the Resene Wallpaper Collection, available at Resene ColorShops.

kiwiparent

Order Resene A4 drawdown paint swatches from your local Resene ColorShop and get the kids to make their own moodboards and create their own colour schemes. This little girl opted for Resene Half Black White and Resene Geyser in the background, with swatches in Resene Gelato (darker pink), Resene Vanilla Ice and Resene Onahau. The open testpot is Resene Moonbeam.

Safety first Make sure you keep all tools and potentially harmful materials out of reach. Make sure children are protected from any trip or fall hazards. Clean up well and insist that tradespeople do the same so that dust, mess and old materials like nails and glass are kept away from your children.

Managing the stress There will always be times when rooms or amenities you have become used to are out of action – the wifi, the TV, the kitchen, the shower, the garden or the laundry. Look for a fun spin on the problem. Create a game of ‘desert island’ or ask the kids to plan a menu of non-cook foods and have a picnic on the floor. Is the dishwasher out of action? Washing dishes by hand may be something the kids have never done; it might be a novelty! You can rent a portaloo or even an entire bathroom these days. Keeping the house quiet while your preschoolers or baby are napping may be impossible, but consider having a portable cot so that at least you can locate them as far away from the noise as possible. Do your best to keep any heated discussions about the budget, builders or whether the living room should be neutral or bold out of earshot of the kids. They may not understand that it’s a temporary disagreement and will just see that their parents are in conflict. If you have older children, it is best to avoid renovating during exam times or periods of high stress for them. And finally, if it is within your budget, hire a cleaner. Look at buying in some ready-made meals and take the short cut or order takeaways. Anything you can do to take the pressure off your household will be helpful. 

Give the kids a project to keep them occupied. This odd socks board is fun, and useful. The colours used are Resene Mystery for the frame, Resene Meditation for the mat board and Resene Raindance for the backing board. The pegs are also in those colours, and the wall is Resene Rice Cake.

The magazine of Parents Centre

kiwiparent

Dear Kennedy Kelsie’s open letter to her baby daughter, born prematurely at just 27 weeks.

I lay in the hospital bed, less than eight hours after giving birth to you and a song came on Spotify: ‘I get to love you’ by Ruelle. “It’s the best thing that I’ll ever do. I get to love you. It’s a promise I’m making to you:

had just happened, and I was so scared, scared to admit that this was actually reality. Once you were born, the amazing team did what they needed to do, they intubated you and took you to the Specialist Care Baby Unit (SCBU). Mumma and Daddy are sorry we left you, that we weren’t by your side. We had to listen and trust the medical team and come back to you when we were allowed to do so.

Whatever may come your heart I will choose. Forever I’m yours, Forever I do.” Tears streamed down my face, my darling girl, because you and Daddy were not with me. My heart broke, it broke for you and it broke that I was not with Daddy, and he had to do this by himself. My darling girl, you decided to arrive very early. But you know what? I trusted you. I trusted you so much in knowing that you needed to come early. 27+6 is a number that I have read, heard and said so many times. This was when you arrived, just over 12 weeks early. Kennedy girl, you gave me such a shock. Mumma thought she had a great plan, an elective c section (after a very traumatic birth with your brother, Brook). This did not happen, you pushed me into something that I never ever wanted to do, have a vaginal birth and be in labour again. But that’s OK, because you know what? I did it! We did it!

I was scared Kennedy, I am so sorry, when you were born the delivery team asked if I wanted to look at you. I said no, I just couldn’t. Mumma needed to process what

Continued overleaf... The magazine of Parents Centre

It felt like hours before we were back with you, but we came back to you, I said we were always going to.

“I needed to know that I was OK, and at times I was not OK and that was fine.”

Kennedy, I saw you in the incubator. I saw you with all sorts of wires and machines around you. I saw your face that was so bruised. I saw your tiny 1,260g body lying there. I saw your dark brown hair just like your brother Brook’s. I saw you hurting. I saw you. I saw myself cry. I saw myself hurt. I saw Daddy hurt. I saw Daddy cry. And then I saw you and Daddy leave to fly to Wellington. And I was alone.

I cried for you My darling girl, I lay in bed that night after having you without you in the room. I heard other babies cry. I cried for you. I cried because I had no idea. No idea what it meant to have an extreme premature baby. No idea what it meant that we had to be in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). No idea what any of this meant. Kennedy, I remember flying to Wellington to be with you and Daddy and this heavy feeling came over me. I didn’t get to say goodbye to your brother Brook. I didn’t get to kiss him. I didn’t get to explain to him what Mumma and Daddy were doing and what had happened. I didn’t get to pack his bag with all his special things for Nannie’s house. I didn’t get to say “I love you” to him. Kennedy, Mumma had no idea how I was going to be a Mumma to both you and Brookie, while you were in two different cities, 318km apart.

Your Daddy is so strong My darling girl, your Daddy is so strong. He really is. He was with you every moment while I couldn’t be with you. He met me after I flew in and took me to see you in your room in the NICU. Kennedy, your Dad had learnt so much already. Mumma could see a look in his eye, it was a look that he knew that you were going to be OK. Kennedy, I learnt so much that I thought I was never going to learn. Intubated, Continuous Positive Airways Pressure (CPAP), longline, blood gases, blood transfusion, cares, full feeds, intravenous IV line, iron, Vitadol C, morphine, oxygen saturation, daily weight, nasogastric tube, intravenous lipids, human milk fortifier, TPN, high flow, low flow.

kiwiparent

These our darling girl became a focus in the conversations Daddy and I were having. Every progress you made we celebrated with you, and every setback you had we knew that you were going to fight. Kennedy, Mumma struggled so much not being able to hold you. All I wanted to do was just grab you and run. I wanted to just run and get away from all this. It took so much of me to stay, to stay and fight with you. You are so lucky little girl that me and Daddy make such a great team.

Soaking up the moment The day came for my first cuddle with you, and you know what? I didn’t cry. I think I was overcome with so much love that there was no way I could cry, but all I could do was just soak this moment up because I knew that I would have to wait another 24 hours to hold you again. Kennedy, I am so sorry that I couldn’t be there for a lot of the medical procedures you had to go through. Head scans, eye tests, the longline procedure, vaccinations, blood transfusion, IV line change. It hurt too much for me to see you having to go through these. It hurt knowing that you would cry and be in pain. You had Daddy there. Daddy was there to hold your hand when he could and to comfort you when he was allowed to.

I had to look after myself Kennedy, I had to look after myself and I knew that being there for those procedures was not OK for me. My darling girl, it broke Mumma’s heart every single time that I left you in NICU or SCBU. I knew that I had to be well, and I knew that in order for me to love and give you the best of me I had to have some time for me. Kennedy, Mumma felt so guilty about this. How could I go for a walk or for a coffee when you lay there by yourself without me? Every single time I left you it hurt. It hurt so so so much. And no, it did not get easier as time went on.

Flying home to Hastings Kennedy, after being in NICU for four weeks the day finally came for you to be transferred back to Hastings SCBU. This time, me and you flew back home together.

Continued overleaf... The magazine of Parents Centre

I had to, I didn’t want to, but Daddy was taking Brookie back home. I’m sorry that I didn’t want to. Mumma was so scared. I was so scared that something was going to happen to you. Mumma watched the monitor and listened to every noise. I told myself that coming home was going to be easier, but it wasn’t. It was so much harder you being in SCBU than in NICU. I was so much further away from you. I couldn’t look out the window like I did at Ronald McDonald House and see the unit. I was a 20-minute drive from you now and leaving you was even harder than it ever was before. You were getting bigger and stronger and I saw you lying there needing your Mumma. But I had to be there for Brookie as well, and it hurt me so much that he only saw me for a few hours a day.

You will be so proud of me Darling girl, Mumma was never going to breastfeed you or express milk for you. I was still hurting from the painful experience I had with Brook. Breastfeeding was not for me, but I knew that I had to give you everything that I could, and one of the best things was breastmilk. So Mumma expressed every three hours for you. I had to do this. You needed my milk and it meant that Mumma could do something to help you. Kennedy you will be so proud of me. I decided that when you were ready to start feeding orally I would give breastfeeding a go. Kennedy we did it, me and you. We breastfed! But you know what, baby girl, it wasn’t for Mumma again. I know you will be proud of me for being strong to say no and not do it. But Kennedy, I felt so bad for stopping. I knew that you

kiwiparent

needed the goodness of Mumma’s milk so Mumma made a decision to continue expressing for however long I could do it. We got to five months exclusively, and still I kept going for you.

I didn’t want to get sick again Kennedy, Mumma was so scared that I was going to get sick again. Mumma did not want to get post-traumatic stress disorder and postnatal depression. Every day in the beginning I felt like I was just waiting. Waiting to lose control, while at the same time trusting myself in knowing that I wouldn’t. I would sit next to you in NICU each night and write. I would write and show gratitude for my day. I needed to keep telling myself what I was grateful for and what had gone well in that day. I needed to know that I was OK, and at times I was not OK and that was fine. Kennedy, I could see people around me worrying too, worrying that I was not OK. But you know what, Mumma got help. Mumma saw a clinical psychologist, and this was one of the best decisions Mumma had ever made. A weekly check-in with her to talk about you helped me so much darling girl. Mumma was not ashamed that I had to do this, I was proud. I hope you are proud of me too.

We trusted the nurses Darling girl, you would have heard Mumma’s voice so much in your time in NICU and SCBU. That’s because Mumma needed to connect with the nurses. I felt better in knowing that you were left with them because I was able to chat with them and talk to them about us,

The Neonatal Trust is a charity that supports the families of premature or sick full-term babies as they make their journeys through neonatal intensive care, the transition home, and onwards. Every year approximately 10% of all babies are born premature in New Zealand. That’s one premature baby born very 90 minutes. There are also many full-term babies whose conditions or illnesses requires admission to a Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) or Special Care Baby Unit (SCBU) after they are born. In all, more than 5,000 babies have difficult starts to life in New Zealand each year.

We exist to make a difficult start to life that little bit easier. www.neonataltrust.org.nz

our family and about them. Mumma had lots of good chats with the nurses, which I know you heard. This is why it was so hard leaving NICU and SCBU – because of the relationships we had formed with the nurses. Even though every single day of the 11 weeks we did in hospital I just really wanted for us to be a family at home together. It was such a bittersweet moment leaving SCBU. I never knew that I would feel so isolated at home. I missed SCBU so much, which I know is odd, but I really did. It was like I was grieving. I felt like a big part of us was gone.

My heart is full of love Kennedy, you have passed the six-month milestone. Just last week I looked at you and I cried. I cried so much because there was this feeling of disconnection for me. I have the images and memories in my head of you when you were born and at the beginning of your journey. I look at you now and it does not feel like you are that baby. How is that so? How do I work through that Kennedy? Will time help with that? Or is that something I will forever feel? But what I do know Kennedy, is that Mumma is so proud of me, you, Daddy and Brookie in this journey. My heart is so full of love for you, our precious girl. Kennedy my darling girl, I get to love you. Love Mumma Sam and Kelsie Moroney live in Napier with their two beautiful children, Brook and Kennedy. Sam bravely shared his open letter to Kennedy in the last issue of Kiwiparent. 

Here are some more links if you need to get help, of any kind: Parents Centre – find a childbirth education programme or parent education class near you www.parentscentre.org.nz P ADA (Perinatal Anxiety and Depression Aotearoa) – a website with resources and information for wha-nau suffering perinatal distress www.pada.nz Lifeline (open 24/7) – 0800 543 354 Depression Helpline (open 24/7) – 0800 111 757 www.depression.org.nz M inistry of Health Healthline (open 24/7) – 0800 611 116 Samaritans (open 24/7) – 0800 726 666 www.samaritans.org.nz S uicide Crisis Helpline (open 24/7) – 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO). This is a service for people who may be thinking about suicide, or those who are concerned about family or friends Youthline (open 24/7) – 0800 376 633. You can also text 234 for free between 8am and midnight, or email talk@youthline.co.nz 0 800 WHAT’S UP? children’s helpline – phone 0800 9428 787. Online chat is available from 7pm to 10pm every day at www.whatsup.co.nz R ural Support Trust – 0800 787 254 (0800 RURAL HELP) www.rural-support.org.nz A lcohol Drug Helpline (open 24/7) – 0800 787 797. You can also text 8691. www.alcoholdrughelp.org.nz M ental Health Foundation has a free resource and information service www.mentalhealth.org.nz

The magazine of Parents Centre

Healthy food choices

boost immunity

Never has there been a greater focus on the value of health and our immune systems. COVID-19 continues to spread globally, and it is important to focus on what you can control to boost your immune system.

kiwiparent

When a foreign bug gets into your body, like the one that causes COVID-19, your body puts up its defence. That defence is your immune system and the army you have inside your body is made up of your white blood cells. You may not be able to prevent all risks of exposure to bugs like COVID-19, and the Ministry of Health has well publicised guidelines on how to prevent yourself getting the disease. However, a healthy lifestyle can help build up your immune system to make your defence as strong as possible.

What foods boost my immune system? Your immune system begins in your gut; all the different bacteria that live there are called the gutmicrobiome. When your gut is healthy, it’s full of good bacteria that help to strengthen your immune system. Fruits and vegetables in their whole forms, rather than being juiced, are rich in fibre and help increase the good bacteria in the gut. Variety is also important so aim to eat a range of coloured fruits and vegetables daily to boost your immune system. Other immune-system-boosting foods that help keep your gut microbiome healthy include: Plain, unsweetened yoghurt. Fermented foods such as kefir and sauerkraut.

Capsicum, especially red capsicums. Broccoli and spinach, which contain good levels of vitamins C as well as vitamin A and E. As with general heart-healthy eating, there is no one food or nutrient that is going to be the key to a strong immune system. All foods contain a variety of vitamins (ie vitamins C, E and A), minerals (ie iron, zinc, calcium and magnesium) and fibre that all play roles in keeping your immune system and body in good health. Keep your focus on a variety of whole, unprocessed foods to ensure that you are eating the right foods for your immune health.

Do I need to take lots of supplements to boost my immunity?

Vitamin C helps to build up the immune system. Fruits and vegetables that are high in vitamin C include:

Supplements are tablet forms of common vitamins, minerals and other antioxidants that your body uses daily. Supplements are readily available in supermarkets and health food stores, but that doesn’t necessarily mean we need to be taking them daily.

Citrus fruits such as oranges, mandarins, lemons, limes and grapefruit.

Sometimes you might need to take a tablet form of a certain nutrient if you cannot get enough from

Legumes and pulses such as beans, lentils and chickpeas. Ginger, garlic and onion.

food. However, usually you will get enough nutrients from the food you eat. You may have heard of the following supplements:

Vitamin C Vitamin C is important as our bodies don’t store it and need it daily. We can get enough from our food when we are eating a variety of fruits and vegetables. These include fresh, canned and frozen fruits and vegetables. If you are eating lots of fruits and vegetables, it is best to avoid taking vitamin C supplements in bulk as you will be flushing your money down the drain. Scientists in China have been looking at whether ultra-high doses of vitamin C can help COVID-19 patients both fight infection and reduce the symptoms of the disease. This is a large piece of work that is ongoing and there will be no results until later this year.

Vitamin D Vitamin D is the ‘sunshine vitamin’, as we get most of it from the sun which gives the body what it needs to produce vitamin D. Unless your vitamin D levels are low, usually shown by a blood, then a vitamin D supplement is not necessary.

Continued overleaf... The magazine of Parents Centre

It’s important to get outside daily to move the body and for your headspace. Getting 15–20 minutes of sunshine on your face and forearms is also a great way to make sure your body is getting enough sunshine to maintain your vitamin D levels for now.

Probiotic supplements Probiotic supplements are often taken to help boost the good gut bacteria mentioned above. The evidence is unconvincing right now as to whether you will get any extra benefit from a probiotic supplement over and above eating a healthy, well balanced diet.

‘Immune-boosting’ supplements There is no evidence to suggest that supplements labelled as ‘immune-boosting’, such as green tea, zinc, elderberry and echinacea, will provide any protection against COVID-19. It’s more important to have a healthy lifestyle overall.

kiwiparent

Is changing what I eat enough to prevent COVID-19? Taking steps to improve your lifestyle in a way that will strengthen your immune system doesn’t mean you won’t sick. However, it’s important to focus on what you do have control over during this time. Focusing on healthy food choices to help your immune system is one area where you do have control, and this can help you to fight any infection that does make you sick. Wash your hands often with soap and water for at least 20 seconds. Use a tissue to cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze, and dispose of it immediately. Avoid touching your face if your hands are not clean. Clean and disinfect frequently touched surfaces and objects, such as doorknobs.

Call Healthline on 0800 358 5453 if you have any symptoms or have been in close contact with someone confirmed with COVID-19.

As well as keeping yourself clean, give your home life a clean. Focus on cleaning the surfaces that you would touch frequently, such as doorknobs, desks, keyboards and mobile phones, as well as your kitchen and bathroom. Try one of these immunity-boosting recipes that will prove popular with the whole family.

Bircher muesli So easy and so good. This bircher muesli recipe will make your breakfast a treat. Try it with a fresh fruit topping for an extra-healthy start to the day.

Made for Me

Healthy butter chicken

Introducing our new Electric Breast Pump

(See photo page 71) Here's a great butter(less) chicken recipe for a large family, or a smaller family can freeze the extra for another day.

Ingredients 2 tbsp oil 2 onions, peeled and diced

Quiet and discreet, use anywhere Lightweight, portable and efficient

6 cloves garlic, crushed 1kg boneless and skinless chicken thigh fillets, diced

Muesli

2 tbsp curry powder

2 cups rolled oats

2 tsp garam masala

¼ cup sunflower seeds

¼ cup pumpkin seeds

Gentle on hard-working breasts

/3 cup tomato paste

1 cup water

/3 cup chopped fruit (eg, apricots, dates, raisins, sultanas)

1 cup evaporated milk

Per serve

4 cups frozen mixed vegetables

1 apple, grated

Coriander for garnish (optional)

¼ cup milk

Method Prepare the muesli by mixing together the oats, seeds and dried fruit. Store in an airtight container. For breakfast the following day mix ½ cup muesli with a grated apple and ¼ cup milk per person. Refrigerate overnight. Serve the following morning with your choice of toppings. Yoghurt Stewed fruit Fresh fruit Milk

Method Heat the oil in a large saucepan over low heat. Add the onion and cook until soft. Add the garlic, chicken, curry powder and garam masala to the pan and cook gently for five minutes. Add the tomato paste and water. Cook gently until chicken is cooked through and no longer pink in the middle. Add evaporated milk and frozen vegetables and return to a gentle simmer. Remove from the heat. Garnish with coriander (if using) and serve.

Continued overleaf...

tommeetippee.co.nz The magazine of Parents Centre 73

Moroccan roast pumpkin soup Another easy dinner idea – pumpkin soup. Roasting the pumpkin before putting it into the soup adds a great amount of flavour.

over low heat until translucent. Add garlic and spices and continue to cook for a further minute or two. Add stock, lemon juice and roasted pumpkin to the saucepan and cook slowly for 30 minutes. Remove from heat and blend until smooth.

Ingredients

Carrot cake bliss balls

½ medium pumpkin, peeled, seeded and diced

Looking for new snack ideas? Here's a healthy bliss ball recipe for you to try. Leave out the almonds to make this recipe nut-free.

¼ cup oil 2 onions, diced 4 cloves garlic, crushed 1 tbsp ground cumin 1 tbsp smoked paprika 2 tsp ground sumac (optional) 5 cups vegetable or chicken stock

½ cup dates, finely chopped 3 carrots, peeled grated 1 tbsp canola oil 1½ cups rolled oats

3 tbsp lemon juice

½ cup ground almonds, or use an extra ½ cup of rolled oats

Method

1 tsp cinnamon

Heat oven to 225°C.

½ tsp ginger, finely chopped

Toss pumpkin with half of the oil and place in a roasting dish. Roast it in the oven until browned and cooked through. Once cooked, remove from oven.

¼ cup desiccated coconut, or more if needed

Meanwhile, place remaining oil in a large saucepan and sauté the onion

Ingredients

kiwiparent

Method In a small bowl, cover chopped dates with hot water and soak for 10 minutes to soften, then drain

the water off. Add carrots, oil, oats, ground almonds, cinnamon, ginger and soaked dates to a food processor. Blitz until combined and mixture has come together. If the mixture is very wet and sticky, add more oats. This recipe can also be made using a bowl and your hands instead of a food processor. After draining the dates, use a fork to mash and form a date purée before adding to the bowl. Roll mixture into balls a heaped teaspoon at a time and coat with a small amount of coconut. Place in the fridge for at least two hours. Store in the fridge and eat within five days. The finished balls freeze well. 

Nickie Hursthouse As a registered dietitian, Nickie knows that food gives us so much more than just nutrients. She is driven to simplify nutrition messages, educate on all aspects of food and support Kiwis to develop a love of food that helps them stay healthy throughout their lives. Nickie is the National Nutrition Advisor for the Heart Foundation.

The Heart Foundation is New Zealandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s leading independent funder of heart research and, since 1968, has funded more than $74 million in research and specialist training for cardiologists. Across New Zealand we provide support, care and advice for people and their families affected by heart disease. Our education and prevention programmes tackle heart disease headon in the community and, through our work with children, we create a foundation for keeping hearts healthy into the future. â&#x20AC;&#x2039; As a charity, the Heart Foundation relies on the generosity and goodwill of everyday Kiwis to support our life-saving work.

The magazine of Parents Centre

Winners

Congratulations to the lucky winners from issue 295

2 tickets to 2020 Baby Expo and mystery prize pack Amy Weston, Christchurch

Bio-Oil prize pack Megan Turnbull, Timaru

Woolbabe duvet sleeping bag, The Sleep Store Sabella Thurston, Paraparaumu Beach

U by Kotex Maternity Pads x 10 packs Kate Tyler, Nelson Sarah Blair, Invercargill Katie Coble, Wellington Claire Kotze, Hamilton Satleen Parmar, Auckland Nickie Slater, Porirua

Zuru prize pack x 3 packs Victoria Wilson, Auckland Charlotte Lobb, Tauranga June Matthews, Lower Hutt

kiwiparent

Morgan Sissons, Lower Hutt Kayleigh Savage, Dunedin Ashley Grey, Papakura Megan Drummond, Cambridge

Our funders Funders powering Parents Centres 67 years ago, Parents Centreâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s founders advocated for women to have the right to make informed choices about their labour and births. Today, in locations around Aotearoa, Parents Centre volunteers continue to support new families. Our Centres are registered charities and Parents Centre New Zealand is too. We receive a variety of funding streams to support our work: commercial partnerships, District Health Board funding, service delivery, membership subscriptions, donations, fundraising and grant funding.

Grant funding ensures we can continue to oversee hundreds of programmes per year, reaching thousands of parents with quality education and support services. Whether a funder is helping us pay the rent and keep the lights on or contributing to a new membership database or new programme development, every dollar makes a difference. We are hugely thankful to our funders for their ongoing support. Below are some of the funders that have supported us recently. Kim Black Funding Manager, Parents Centre New Zealand

Winton & Margaret Bear Charitable Trust With the continued support of this trust we continue to reach more than 1,000 families in the Wellington region each year with pregnancy, childbirth and parenting education and support services.

Hutt Mana Charitable Trust Hutt Mana Charitable Trust supports the oversight of programmes in its region. It also supports our local Centres in the Hutt Mana region with grants towards programme costs.

Community Awareness and Preparedness Grant Fund Trust Waikato This trust provides a grant towards the supervision and support of our childbirth educators working in the Waikato region.

The Fund is available to community groups providing essential community-led solutions that support local resilience and community wellbeing during COVID-19 restrictions. Parents Centre New Zealand received funding to support our transition to providing online services. This ensured that, during lockdown, 66 childbirth education classes continued or were started online, reaching 1,300 parents.

The magazine of Parents Centre

Our partners Supporting us to support you Parents Centre New Zealand was started by a small group of parents over 67 years ago with the aim of establishing better maternal health services for pregnant women. A service where parents are fully informed, can ask questions and have a choice in how they birth and parent their baby. This group started New Zealandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s very first antenatal classes. Since then weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve grown into a national organization supporting and advocating for families right across Aotearoa. We rely on our partnerships to help us deliver these services to communities all around New Zealand. Our partners are essential to Parents Centre, not only to help fund the work we do, but also to provide resources and member benefits to all our Centres and member families. This strength in our Centres and communities adds real and critical support to new parents. Philips Avent is a long-standing partner and has been supporting our families and Centres with breastfeeding information and support for over 12 years. This is a truly collaborative partnership and we genuinely value their ongoing support. Catherine Short, Partnerships and Advertising Manager

A word from Philips Avent Becoming a parent is an exciting time but it can also be overwhelming with often more questions than answers, so having access to advice and support when needed along the parenthood journey is critical. Philips Avent, in conjunction with the Parents Centre educators and centres nationwide, is dedicated to providing information and advice to help mums in their baby-feeding journey. With over 30 years of expertise in baby feeding, Philips Avent products are inspired by nature and designed in collaboration with parents and healthcare professionals, extensive research and clinical trials. Our products support the choices you make, whether breastfeeding or bottle feeding or combining the two. Michelle Rice, Brand Manager, Endeavour Consumer Health

0800 222 966 / www.babyonthemove.co.nz

Huggies online pregnancy and parenting

Baby On The Move

The Sleep Store

PC member benefits: 20% off car seat hire, selected buggies and cots for all members.

PC member benefits: 20% off selected items, which are regularly updated.

Phone: 0800 222 966 www.babyonthemove.co.nz

www.thesleepstore.co.nz content/parentscentre

kiwiparent

PC member benefits: Attendees of CBE, Baby and You and toilet training programmes get a Huggies gift pack. Phone: 0800 733 703 www.huggies.co.nz

Supporting Kiwi parents

Philips Avent PC member benefits: Supply breast pads and breastfeeding information to all members. Phone: 0800 104 401 www.philips.co.nz/AVENT

Johnson & Johnson PC member benefits: All attendees of Parents Centre CBE and Baby and You get J&J baby bath gift packs and information on science of the skin. www.jnj.com

The Baby Factory Parenting Place www.theparentingplace.com

Birthing Centre A free service to women of all ages whose pregnancy is considered lowrisk primary care. www.birthingcentre.co.nz

PC member benefits: Regular Parents Centre discount days offering 20% off all stock including sale items.

Resene PC member benefits: Various discounts on decorating supplies and paints with Parents Centre membership card. www.resene.co.nz

Talking Matters A campaign to get everyone talking with babies and young children under three years.

www.babyfactory.co.nz

www.talkingmatters.org.nz

SplashSave PC member benefits: 30% discount on water safety package.

If you want to partner with Parents Centre, or would like to discuss how this may work for your business, contact Catherine on:

www.splashsave.co.nz

c.short@parentscentre.org.nz

The magazine of Parents Centre

Win great giveaways

Enter online at www.kiwiparent.co.nz and follow the instructions. Entries must be received by 5pm, 3 July, 2020. Winners will be published in issue 297.

Win a Graco SnugRide SnugLock 35 Lx Capsule and Base This seat with 1-Hand Adjust provides a hassle-free installation using either vehicle seat belt or latch. In three easy steps you can feel confident you’ve got a secure install. The base, with its four-position recline and easy-to-read level indicator, helps eliminate installation guesswork. Easy for mum, comfy for baby. The 1-Hand adjustable handle leaves one hand free when adjusting the handle for easy in and out. The Silent Shade™ canopy adjusts without disturbing baby. RRP $449.00.

Win a Graco TurboBooster Highback Booster Give your big kid a boost. Loaded with comfort features, the seat helps protect your growing child up to 45kg or 145cm tall and converts to a backless booster as your big kid grows. Kids love cool perks like the hideaway cup holders. It is Graco ProtectPlus Engineered to help protect your child in frontal, side, rear and rollover crashes. RRP 189.00. www.babyonthemove.co.nz

Win one of two sets of My First Words in Ma-ori 50 Flashcards My First Words in Ma-ori by Stacey Morrison includes: 5 0 picture cards, with the Ma-ori words on one side and the English on the other. T e reo phrases to ask and answer while using the flashcards. S tacey’s tips and ideas for different activities and games with the cards. RRP $25.00 pack. www.penguin.co.nz

Win a Woolbabe Duvet Sleep Suit from The Sleep Store This innovative design offers a safe solution for toddlers and preschoolers who no longer wear sleeping bags. They can’t trip over in their suits and can get in and out of bed safely. The Woolbabe duvet suit has a 100% organic cotton lining, and the merino wool ensures a constant body temperature that encourages everyone to have a good night’s sleep. RRP $159.00. www.thesleepstore.org.nz

Win with Zuru

Win 1 of 4 MAX Build prize packs Take it to the MAX with Zuru MAX Build More - the premium toy construction blocks that rock! Get 759 high-quality bricks to create to the MAX! Available in various bulk packs and fully compatible with major building brick brands. Each winner will receive a brick pack. RRP $44.99.

Win 1 of 3 Rainbocorns prize packs

Win 1 of 3 Smashers Epic Egg prizes

Rainbocorns Series 2 is the ultimate surprise egg! There are 10 layers to hatch, including cuddly new plush, surprise sequins, and even more layers of surprise! There are 13 new characters to collect including a rare golden Flamingocorn. Prize pack includes two Rainbocorns. RRP $29.00.

Slime, fizz and SMASH your way through more than 25 surprises to build the exclusive Smash-o-saur Dino! Keep track of your collection with our free Collector's Guide or download the Smashers app, which allows you to interact with your collection and earn Smash Points to become the ultimate Smashers champion! Prize pack includes two Smashers Epic Eggs. RRP $32.00.

www.zuru.com

kiwiparent

ONLINE ANTENATAL CLASSES AT NO CHARGE Parents Centre is a not-for-profit organisation providing parents with information and skills for their transition to parenthood. We are offering online classes in Mandarin & Cantonese.

中文, 准妈妈孕期课程汉密尔顿

- Pregnancy comfort - Labour journey - Understanding your rights - Feeding and meeting your baby’s needs - Transition to parenthood - Practical parenting

Parents Centre’s expertly facilitated programmes will be offered online and will be facilitated to ensure the classes aren’t one-way information or just a lecture, they will still be interactive, engaging and fun and we will still create your coffee group! 父母中心所提供的专业产前课程是具有大量有趣的内容, 活跃的授课氛围及大量的互动.

lass ive c guage” t a rm n lan info w y o r e r “v ou to y in l l ent a i m c n e o vir esp ere fe en they w a s to as a ns & “It w questio sponded ask ys re lly” alwa spectfu re

Mandarin-Cantonese-English Speaking Classes Contact: - amanda_liu31@hotmail.com

www.parentscentre.org.nz

The magazine of Parents Centre

kiwiparent