Peanut Kid: I have a name, you know. It’s
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You know where women are really under-represented? The deep sea.
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STRATEGIES FOR PLEASING HER
The Ding-Dong-Ditch Just poke intermittently anywhere on that 2 in² surface area with a completely stiff finger and hope for a noise. Leave shortly after. The Fortune Teller Get your hands in a ready position. Now: Ask for her favorite color, and start rapidly flapping your fingers vertically and diagonally while spelling the word (R-E-D). Then, ask her for her favorite number, and again flap back and forth to spell this (T-W-E-N-T-Y-F-I-V-E-M-I-L-L-I-O-N- F-I-V-E-H-UN-D-R-E-D-S-E-V-E-N-T-Y-S-I-X-A-N-D-T-H-R-E-E-T-H-O-U-S-A-N-D-T-H-S). Quicker! Finally, tell her her fortune: “Your leftovers will heat up just fine at work tomorrow.” The Nocturne Op. 9: No. 2 in E-Flat Major This will require using all of your fingers on both of your hands, and you must be prepared for lots of tempo and pressure change. Most delightful with a 7-octave concert piano. The Idaho French Toast Rip-Twistin’ Inverted Axel The name almost says it all.
STRATEGIES FOR PLEASING HIM Why would we publish a piece about male pleasure in the first issue of our feminist zine? But check out our next issue, which will be entirely devoted to this topic!
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