February 2014 | Your community humour magazine | Issue 161
Rotarian
Mike Crean:
Service Above Self See feature on P4 Story and photos by Gabor Gasztonyi
Helping you make healthier choices for you and your family
421 - 6th Street, New Westminster 604-553-3421
info@newwestorganic.ca www.newwestorganic.ca
YOUR DIABETES RESOURCE CENTRE
WE ARE OPEN Mon to Fri 9am – 6pm Sat 9am – 2:30pm Sun 9am – 1:30pm
981 Carnarvon St New Westminster
604-523-6767
2
February 2014
Peter Julian, MP Burnaby – New Westminster Serving Our Community
Need help with federal issues such as E.I., Income Tax, Canada Pension and Canada Student Loan? Please contact Peter Julian’s Community office for assistance. Peter Julian’s Community Office: 7615 Sixth Street, Burnaby, BC V3N 3M6
Phone: 604-775-5707 l Email: peter.julian.c1@parl.gc.ca l www.PeterJulian.ca
Funny Bones by Jones Locally Owned & Published! Fourth floor, 604 Columbia St New Westminster, BC V3M 1A5
Chris Sargent 604-525-9027 Owner & Publisher Email: publisher@piffle.ca Sales Email: sales@piffle.ca
Verne Siebert 604-763-6304
Randy Chaster 604-351-2529
Vic Leach
778-237-0052 Graphic Design: Cliff Blank Email: production@piffle.ca Photography: Gabor Gasztonyi
Glenn Jones would like to hear from his fans. E-mail him at funnybones.by.jones@gmail.com.
piffle.ca
Serving the Community of New Westminster Our office can assist with provincial government issues such as MSP, income assistance and provincial disability, WorkSafe, and ICBC.
Judy Darcy, MLA
judy.darcy.mla@leg.bc.ca PHONE 604-775-2101
Judy Darcy’s Constituency Office is located at 737 Sixth St, New Westminster, V3L 3C6
To advertise, call 604-525-9027 or email sales@piffle.ca today!
February 2014
3
VALENTINE’S PICK-UP LINES 1. Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet. 2. If I had to choose between breathing and loving you… I’d take my last breath to say “I Love You”
4. What time do you have to be back in heaven? 5. Does your watch have a second hand? I want to know how long it took for me to fall in love with you. 6. I think you’ve got something in your eye.
3. Where do you hide your halo?
Oh never mind, it’s just a sparkle.
Inquire about our
CALL
604-520-6171
SENIORS’
DISCOUNT 426-604 Columbia St, New Westminster Q. What did one pickle say to the other? A. “You mean a great dill to me.” Q. What do farmers give their wives on Valentine’s Day?
Q. What did the paper clip say to the magnet? A. “I find you very attractive.” Q. Did you hear about the nearsighted porcupine?
A. Hog and kisses!
A. He fell in love with a pin cushion!
Q. Do skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day? A. Sure, they’re very scent-imental! Q. What did the bat say to his girlfriend? A. “You’re fun to hang around with.” Q. What did the elephant say to his girlfriend? A. “I love you a ton!”
Q. What did the pencil say to the paper? A. “I dot my i’s on you!” Q. What did one light bulb say to the other? A. “I love you a whole watt!”
Universal Brotherhood Spiritualist Church 486 East Columbia Street at Braid, New Westminster
Q. What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream? A. “I’m sweet on you!” Q. What did the valentine card say to the stamp? A. Stick with me and we’ll go places!
PSYCHIC & MEDIUMSHIP READINGS
MEDIUMSHIP DEMONSTRATION
Scottish Medium Saturday, February 22 - 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. IRENE MCGILVRAY, DSNU mediumship, art, astrology, psychometry, cards Friday, May 9, 7:30 pm 15 minutes $20 • Sorry, no consecutive readings $25 tix in advance Pre-bookings Debbie at church or 778-867-7151 All tickets also available at the door PLEASE CHECK OUR WEBSITE FOR SPECIAL EVENTS AND VISITING MEDIUMS
CHURCH SERVICES: Sundays 10:30 a.m. TUESDAY PROGRAMS FEBRUARY - JUNE: 7:30 p.m. Reverend Anna Beveridge 604-588-9624 Reverend Glenda McLeod 604-459-8311 healing • counselling • private readings • mediumship • workshops weddings • unions • naming services • memorials • dedications www.ubsc.ca • spiritual@ubsc.ca • MEETUP • Facebook
Get your Piffle delivered early to your inbox! Visit piffle.ca
Fe at u r e story
February 2014
Rotarian Mike Crean
Service Above Self
Story by Gabor Gasztonyi
I
n 2012 Mike Crean, president of Columbia-Bowell these instruments up and taking charge of the Funeral Chapel, was the recipient of one of the support team during these humanitarian overseas highest and most sought after awards given by expeditions. For political reasons, the surgical team Rotary to members of distinction, The Service would later move from Zimbabwe to Uganda where Above Self Award ward. This award was presented the current programs are taking place. in recognition of the humanitarian work, which At the end of January, this year, Mike is heading Mike and his group have done in Africa for nearly out again with a group of nearly twenty health care twenty years. professionals to conduct another round of surgical In 1997 Mike who was on the board of St. Mary’s procedures in Uganda. Mike’s job is to organize all hospital became involved with fellow Rotarian the logistical aspects of this expedition and ensure and chief surgeon of St. Mary’s that all things run smoothly. Hospital, Dr. Irwin Stewart, This is no small task in the The time invested in who led teams of physicians third world and rarely do Rotary has been the doing ear, nose and throat things go as planned. Often most effective of my surgery in Zimbabwe Africa. the surgical team arrives in volunteer career. Mike volunteered to go over a hospital and the necessary with the team and help set up equipment is not function– Mike Crean the operating room telescopes. ing properly. This makes it These were highly intricate difficult for these volunteer Zeiss telescopes allowing surgeons to carry out surgeons to complete there much needed humanicomplex surgery. Mike became adept at setting tarian work. Mike is working hard with several bio FEATURE STORY
|
February 2014
February 2014
5
medical engineering students and professionals in Uganda to correct this problem and ensure that all the equipment is working perfectly. One of the important projects of the Rotary Club of New Westminster this year is to fund the costs of training a couple of bio medical engineering students from Uganda, here in Vancouver at UBC. When these students return home they will have that little extra bit of training, which will help ensure that the surgical equipment is working properly. Mike is confident that our Rotary club and I am a member as well, will step up to this challenge and find a way to help fund this most important initiative. The team, which Mike is leading this year consists of four to five ear, nose and throat surgeons, four nurses, one or two anesthesiologists, two or three audiologists as well as several bio-medical engineers. This is quite a group of dedicated professionals who do this much-needed work on a volunteer basis. Half of the group that goes overseas are Rotarians and this says a lot about the importance of the humanitarian work, which Rotary does throughout the world. The exciting thing about all this is that this project began here in New Westminster and that the influence of the people of our city has spread worldwide. Mike says about his involvement with Rotary, “The time invested in Rotary has been the most effective of my volunteer career.” That is quite a statement from someone who has been a devoted volunteer in our community including member of the board for Providence Health Care and the Simon Fraser Health Region and the Rotary World Service Committee. His list of volunteer and community service is indeed extensive. On another interesting note Mike’s grandfather, Thomas James Kearney, took charge of a funeral home in Vancouver in 1911 after successfully working in Dawson City during the Klondike gold rush. In 1926 he became a partner continued on page 9 FEATURE STORY
Wishing all a Healthy Heart Month!
Follow me on Twitter!
@BettyM13
Email: bmcintosh@newwestcity.ca 778-773-0546 | bettymcintosh.ca
Who Says Time-Travel Is Impossible? In Evelyn Sangster Benson’s new book YOU can step back in time and re-live: • the Penitentiary escape of the notorious trainrobber Billy Miner! • a harrowing skate on the frozen Fraser to Marpole and back! • the noise and clatter of the first automobile on New Westminster streets! • riding in the open trunk of a car on your way to the beach! • the reality of life without deodorants! • cruising Columbia St. in a hot-rod in the “cool” Fifties! • jiving at the Hollywood Bowl!
Only
$1995 |
Available at Westminsterpublishing.ca Black Bond Books and Renaissance Books
February 2014
6
February 2014
Serving New Westminster since 2003. We thank all of you for your continued support of the last nine years!
YOUR DIABETES RESOURCE CENTRE
✔ FREE In-Store Blood Pressure Monitoring ✔ FREE Blister Packing
Most Extended Health Plans accepted. Easy transfer of prescriptions. NO WE CARE ABOUT YOUR HEALTH TOBACCO WE CARE ABOUT YOUR KIDS HEALTH WE ARE PROUD TO NOT SELL TOBACCO
More Space + More Products + More Services HOURS: MON TO FRI 9AM–6PM SAT 9AM–2:30PM • SUN 9AM–1:30PM
981 Carnarvon St, New Westminster
604.523.6767
Visit us ONLINE at ImperialPharmacy.ca
To advertise, call 604-525-9027 or email sales@piffle.ca today!
February 2014
7
TOQUE TUESDAY The Lookout Society will be once again selling toques as part of the annual Raise the Roof national campaign benefi tting long term solutions to homelessness. Lookout Society staff and volunteers are selling the toques to the public Tuesday, February 4 at various Metro Vancouver SkyTrain stations and other locations as part of Toque Tuesday day. The toques are $10.
GREAT CANADIAN WINTER FESTIVAL February 9, 2014 Join River Market while they celebrate Canadian food, art and sport (Winter Olympics time) and most of all… Canada. Poutine battle, Royal City Farmers Market, Artisan Fair, broadcasting of Olympic events, table hockey tourneys, indoor curling, fabulous food and more. Celebrate Canada eh?! For more information, call 604-520-3881 or info@rivermarket.ca.
VALENTINE’S DAY LUNCH Friday February 14, 12 noon- 1:30pm Edmonds Community Centre “How sweet it is!” Spoil yourself by letting us provide a cupid-approved lunch sharing this special day among friends. $9.00 members, $11.25 non-members To register, call 604-297-4838.
ALONE TOGETHER PRESENTED BY THE VAGABOND PLAYERS The Bernie Legge Theatre, Queen’s Park A charming domestic comedy by Lawrence Roman Tickets: $15.00, Seniors/Students: $13.00 For show times and reservations call 604-521-0412 or book by emailing reservations@vagabondplayers.ca
UNCOVER YOUR CREEKS: CITIZEN SCIENCE February 9, 10:00 am - 12:00 pm New Westminster Parks, Culture and Recreation and Evergreen have partnered to offer a two-year Parks Stewardship Program: Uncover Your Creeks: Citizen Science in Lower Hume Park where you will:
• Learn about local ecology • Help manage invasive plants • Plant native plants • Monitor water quality in the Brunette River The program will start at 10:00 am – 12:00 noon with participants meeting at the Lower Hume Park Picnic Shelter. Please register for this ALL AGES FREE event by contacting Sharon Johal at sjohal@ evergreen.ca or 604-689-0766 ext. 226.
FIRE IN THE HEART CONCERT AND FUNDRAISER February 8 THE COLUMBIA THEATRE Fire in the Heart Concert and Fundraiser Join Barr y, Russell and Michael as they host a ver y special concer t and fundraiser for all of the businesses affected in last year’s downtown fire. $40. Call today 604-522-4500.
MON TO FRI 9AM-6PM | SAT 9AM-2:30PM | SUN 9AM-1:30PM
Get your Piffle delivered early to your inbox! Visit piffle.ca
8
February 2014
Place
Dunwood
The Presbyterian Senior Citizens’ Housing Society
Beautiful park like setting
Fully equipped woodwork shop, cafe, hair salon, large covered patio and gazebo in a lush garden setting. Too many amenities to list. Conveniently located to shopping. Come and tour this exceptional one of a kind facility. Very reasonable rents.
901 Colborne Street, New Westminster Seniors Independent Living 604-521-8636 dunwoodplace@telus.net
OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK 9:30AM – 6:30PM
OPEN MIC SUNDAY, FEB 9, 1-3 PM GISELA WOLDENGA book signing of her CHILDREN’S BOOK hosted by Janene White
TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 18, 7-9 PM
ACOUSTIC JAM hosted by Lavana 43 6th Street, New Westminster | 604.525.4566 renbooks@telus.net • renaissancebookstore.com
Ken McIntosh Rod Drown Researchers
604.619.8455 Dr Robert Henry MacLauchlan & Margaret MacLauchlan 1966 Murders Do you remember Lorraine Cunningham, a 1959 Lester Pearson Grad? If so contact us.
To advertise, call 604-525-9027 or email sales@piffle.ca today!
February 2014
9
continued from page 5
in the Columbia Funeral Chapel, one hundred block Columbia Street. When the Pattullo bridge was built their property was expropriated, and they moved to the two hundred block Columbia Street. Oddly enough and to their exasperation, the building was expropriated again when the skytrain was built. Later they moved to their current location on sixth street. His grandfather Thomas also had one of the first sets of motorized ambulances in Canada at his Vancouver operation. He had a handsome pair of Pierce Arrows which plied the streets of Vancouver. You could call his ambulance service in those days simply by dialing Fairmont 3. Mike’s mother Ellen Crean took over the funeral business in 1938. She became the first female funeral director having earned a mortician’s license allowing her to practice in California, Washington and British Columbia. In a field where women are still a rarity, she became the first Canadian to be certified under the Association of Death Education and Counselling. Her funeral homes Kearney Funeral Services in Vancouver and Columbia Bowell became the first in the province to handle death from Aids. She passed away in 2000. Her sons Mike and Tom have continued the tradition of service to the bereaved, initiating bereavement programs in many local churches. Another fascinating thing I discovered was that Mike’s Grandfather Thomas Kearney when he came back from Dawson City and the Klondike Gold Rush, fell in love and married Catherine O’Connor a professional opera singer who sang at her local church. Now there has to be a nice novel somewhere in that story. Mike’s mother Ellen Crean was also a staunch Rotarian. If you are interested in finding our more about Rotary and the Rotary Club of New Westminster, please drop me a line: info@gaborphotography.com.
POET’S CORNER
with Poet Laureate New We
CANDICE JAMES
stminster
JOIN CANDICE AT THE DISCOVERY CENTRE ON MONDAY, FEBRUARY 10 STARTING AT 11:30AM FOR A SPECIAL BC FAMILIES DAY CELEBRATION!
Together
Candice James ©2013 Yesterdays become todays As we walk together toward tomorrow Gathering experience, making memories. The family circle becomes indelibly etched With laughter, smiles and sometimes sprinkled with tears On the threads of love that weave throughout And sew our hearts forever together.
The years of growing together, Counting on each other, Sacrificing for each other selflessly, The sweet and the bittersweet come full circle In the name of family and family values.
Time continues marching on. Nothing seems to last. Yesterdays become todays. Todays become tomorrows: Ever changing, Coming and going… But families are forever.
Families Day is a day to celebrate each other And strengthen the ties that bind As we walk toward tomorrow Together.
New West Poets: please submit your “New West” poems for this column to candicejames@shaw.ca or call 778-322-1131 for info.
Get your Piffle delivered early to your inbox! Visit piffle.ca
10
February 2014
Piffle’s MATH MADNESS
Knock Knock Who’s there? Olive Olive who? Olive you ! Knock Knock Who’s there? Justin Justin who? Justin time! Here’s your valentine! Knock Knock Who’s there? Arthur Arthur who?
Try to fill in the missing numbers. Use the numbers 1 through 9 to complete the equations. Each number is only used once. Each row is a math equation. Each column is a math equation. Remember that multiplication and division are performed before addition and subtraction. Find solution in the next Piffle!
Arthur any chocolates left for me? Knock Knock Who’s there? Oscar
Piffle’s NUMBER BLOCKS
Oscar who? Oscar if she likes me. Knock Knock Who’s there? Cantalope Cantalope who? Cantalope with you tonight.
Try to fill in the missing numbers. The missing numbers are integers between 0 and 9. The numbers in each row add up to totals to the right. The numbers in each column add up to the totals along the bottom. The diagonal lines also add up the totals to the right. Find solution in the next Piffle!
What happened that Columbia Funeral Chapel was moved twice from Columbia Street before it was relocated to the current site?
To advertise, call 604-525-9027 or email sales@piffle.ca today!
February 2014
11
Q: Did you hear about the romance in the tropical fish tank? A: It was a case of guppy love. Q: What did the French chef give his wife for Valentine’s Day? A: A hug and a quiche! Q: Whale you be my Valentine? A: Dolphinately.
WHEN YOU WISH UPON A WELL A couple came upon a wishing well. The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The husband decided to make a wish, too but he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The wife was stunned for a moment but then smiled, “It really works!”
CARBON MONOXIDE Carbon monoxide (CO) is a poisonous gas that you cannot see, smell or taste. It is produced by the incomplete burning of fuels such as natural gas, propane, heating oil, kerosene, coal, charcoal or wood. Improperly installed or poorly maintained appliances that run on these fuels may create unsafe levels of CO. Therefore, it is important that such appliances are installed and regularly maintained by trained service technician. In enclosed spaces such as your home, cottage or recreational vehicle, even a small amount of CO is dangerous.
SYMPTOMS Exposure to CO can cause flu- like symptoms such as headaches, nausea, dizziness, burning eyes, confusion, drowsiness and even loss of consciousness. In very severe cases, CO poisoning can cause death. Older people, people with heart or breathing problems, children and pets may experience the effects earlier than others. At any time, if you or anyone else in your home is experiencing the symptoms of CO poisoning, immediately get everyone out of the house and seek medical help. Call 911.
CARBON MONOXIDE ALARMS All carbon monoxide alarms should bear the CSA seal of approval. At least one alarm should be installed at knee-height, near the sleeping area of your home, cottage and recreational vehicle. You may need more than one alarm if sleeping areas are on more than one level. Refer to the manufacturer’s instructions for more information about proper use and maintenance of your alarms. If a CO alarm sounds in your home, cottage or recreational vehicle, open all doors and windows to ventilate. If you cannot find the problem and the alarm continues, leave the building and contact a qualified service technician to check your fuel-burning equipment.
DANGER SIGNS
We Make Great Wines, Affordable! 649 Front St (Corner of McKenzie St) New Westminster, BC
Phone 604-540-8907
www.winefactory.ca
• Symptoms of CO poisoning • Stale or stuffy air • Smell of gas when the fuel-burning appliance turns on • Pilot light on your fuel-burning appliance goes out • Chalky white powder forms on the chimney or exhaust vent pipe • Excessive moisture forms on windows and walls • CO alarm sounds Your New Westminster Fire and Rescue Services cares about you and your safety! If you require further information, please visit our website at: www.newwestcity.ca or call the Fire Prevention Division at 604-519-1004.
Get your Piffle delivered early to your inbox! Visit piffle.ca
12
February 2014
Get Noticed !
ON THE AIRPLANE Jack was sitting in an airplane when another guy took the seat beside him. Jack noticed a the guy was moaning and shaking. “What’s wrong,” asked Jack. “I’ve been transferred to Los Angeles,” the guy answered. “There’s crazy people in Los Angeles. They have shootings, robberies, gangs, race riots, drugs… the highest crime rate.” “Hold on,” Jack interrupted. “I’ve lived there all my life. It’s not as bad as the media says. Find a nice home, go to work, mind your own business, enroll your kids in a good school and it’s as safe as anywhere in the world.” The other passenger relaxed and stopped shaking for a moment and said, “Oh, thank you. I’ve been worried to death, but if you live there and say it’s OK, I’ll take your word for it. What do you do for a living?” “Me,” said Jack. “I’m the tail gunner on a Bud Lite truck.”
Printing
Business Cards, Flyers, Brochures, Posters, Forms, Manuals
Promotional Products
LISTEN HONEY If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
T-shirts, Pens, Notepads, Trinkets
Signs & Banners
Full Colour, Die Cut Vinyl, Vehicle Decals, Sandwich Boards
Engraving
Namebadges, ID Cards, Room Signs, Door Plaques
Trophies & Awards
Plaques, Cups, Crystal, Ribbons
HEARTS ARE BETTER Q: Why do valentines have hearts on them? A: Because spleens would look pretty gross!
BREAKFAST • LUNCH • DINNER • DAILY SPECIALS
604-524-8118
Open Monday - Friday 8:30 - 5:00
Open 7 days a week!
604 521-1295
334 12th Street New Westminster
onesourceproduction.com
636 Sixth Street Mon to Sat 7am – 8pm New Westminster Sun/Holidays 8am – 8pm
wafflehouserestaurant.com
To advertise, call 604-525-9027 or email sales@piffle.ca today!
February 2014
13
WHO? Knock knock! Who’s there? Howard Howard who? Howard you like a big kiss?
A DOZEN, PLEASE Q: What kind of flowers do you never give on Valentine’s Day? A: Cauliflowers.
POOCH Knock, knock Who’s there? Pooch Pooch who? Pooch your arms around me, baby!
SQUIRRELS Q: What did the boy squirrel say to the girl squirrel on Valentine’s Day? A: I’m nuts about you! Q: What did the girl squirrel say to the boy squirrel on Valentine’s Day? A: You’re nuts so bad yourself!
ROMANTIC RAM Q: What is a ram’s favorite song? A: I only have eyes for ewe, dear.
Treat yourselves on a romantic journey Cruise
Valentine’s Day
Adults $6995 Seniors $6495 plus tax
plus tax
Book today, space is limited! 604-525-4465 www.vancouverpaddlewheeler.com
Friday, February 14 7–10pm
Candlelit buffet dinner • hor d’ourves table • decadent dessert • soft romantic background music Get your Piffle delivered early to your inbox! Visit piffle.ca
14
February 2014
CASUAL CLOTHS
by distinct black and white coloring. Eats
Q: What did Delaware?
shoots and leaves.”
A: A New Jersey
YOU LIGHT UP MY LIFE LEMONS
Q: What did one light bulb say to the other?
Q: What happens if life gives you melons?
A: “I love you a whole watt!”
A: Your dyslexic.
REIGH DROPS THE PANDA
Q: Why is England the wettest country?
A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the
A: Because the queen has reigned there for years!
sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter. As the panda stands up to go, the
ILLEGALLY PARKED
manager shouts, “Hey! Where are you going?
Q: What do you call an illegally parked frog?
You just shot my waiter and you didn’t pay
A: Toad.
for your sandwich!” The panda yells back at the manager, “Hey man, I’m a PANDA!
THE LONE RANGER
Look it up in the dictionary!” The manager
Q: What does the Lone Ranger say when he
opens his dictionary and sees the following
takes out the garbage?
definition for panda: “A tree dwelling
A: To the dump, to the dump, to the
marsupial of Asian origin, characterized
dump dump dump.
40 Years
Serving the Snorkeling & Scuba Community
604.524.1188
825 McBride Blvd, New Westminster www.diveandsea.com
BREAKFAST • LUNCH • DINNER • DAILY SPECIALS
604-524-8118 Open Mon–Sat • Closed Sun
Open 7 days a week!
636 Sixth Street Mon to Sat 7am – 8pm New Westminster Sun/Holidays 8am – 8pm
wafflehouserestaurant.com
To advertise, call 604-525-9027 or email sales@piffle.ca today!
February 2014
15
Sargent’s City Scene FUNDRAISER FOR VICTIMS OF DOWNTOWN FIRE The Columbia Performing Arts Society is planning to put on fundraisers every month benefiting local charities and providing great live music at this incredible venue! The next fundraiser, on February 8th, will include performances by the R&B Allstars and Barracuda — The Essential Tribute to the band Heart, raising money for the victims of the New Westminster fire. Fire in the Heart will also celebrate the history of the buildings lost, and their occupants. Over 30 businesses were affected when fire raged through the E.L. Lewis Building last October. We are asking other businesses to help out and become a sponsor for this worthy cause. For information on sponsorship for this and other charitable events, please contact bcmusicians@gmail.com. WORKING TOGETHER ON TRAIN WHISTLES A Memorandum of Understanding (MOU) has been reached between the City of New Westminster, Southern Railway of British Columbia and Port Metro Vancouver to begin the planning process designed to further explore and implement a process for achieving train whistle cessation
along the City’s Queensborough and Mainland corridor. As part of this initiative, $1million in funding has been already pledged towards implementation of whistle cessation measures to be cost-shared equally between the City of New Westminster and Southern Railway. Port Metro Vancouver has also pledged to work towards contributory funding for this important community initiative. “It’s good news for residents along the Southern Railway corridor,” said Mayor Wayne Wright. “A lot of effort has gone into finding a solution and this is a positive step forward.” In August 2012, a Railway Advisory Committee was established to examine the issue of train whistling in New Westminster. As the community has grown, the impact of train whistle noise on livability has increased. “We are very pleased to be participating in this initiative with City of New Westminster and Port Metro Vancouver,” said Frank Butzelaar, President & CEO of Southern Railway. “It is a part of our ongoing efforts to help mitigate the impacts of rail operations on communities in which we live and work.” The MOU marks a significant milestone in resolution of the issue, and progress is being continued
Get your Piffle delivered early to your inbox! Visit piffle.ca
16
February 2014
MEET THE JONES’ By Glenn Jones
#26-8720 Forest Grove Drive, Burnaby BC V5A 4C9 | 604-433-3986 | E-mail: glenn-jones@shaw.ca
F U T V C O N P C M K S L T V
E L N H S B T Z H B F C A N L
H G A I Y A O H R B F D J C Y
B R B M T S I Q I P L E R Y O
N R P W I N Z N S C J F A H S
D O J L R N E U T T U M N S Z
Y M Z E E E I L I E H S R Y T
P A T Z C D S A A P R E R N A
S N L U U U N K N V V A M W N
R T P A A R G C N O U G M R M
N I L C H I V A L R Y S M M U
D C N I C Y Z M B P O T F F A
P R R O A K S E U X T G L O E
Q N Y C D N F N Z J N Y I M L
“Lovers” CHAUCER
CHIVALRY
CHRISTIAN CLAUDIUS CUPID
FEAST
FEBRUARY
A G NT
S E H F G C I Q W O H S T D W
CHRIS
WORD
SEARCH
FLAMINIAN GOTHICUS
INTERAMMA LOVE
SAINT
ROMANTIC
VALENTINUS
LOVERS
TERNI
THE VISITOR By Glenn Jones
#26-8720 Forest Grove Drive, Burnaby BC V5A 4C9 | 604-433-3986 | E-mail: glenn-jones@shaw.ca
To advertise, call 604-525-9027 or email sales@piffle.ca today!
February 2014
17
made on agreements with other rail carriers in the city. “As Canada’s busiest gateway, we strive to minimize the impact generated by the economic activity of port related businesses on our local communities. We are always looking for collaborative opportunities to engage with our stakeholders and supply chain partners towards achieving this goal. I look forward to advancing the initiatives set out in this MOU,” said Tom Corsie, VP Real Estate at Port Metro Vancouver. To maintain forward momentum towards whistle cessation implementation, a joint sub-committee has been established. Next steps outlined in the MOU include defining objectives, assessing viable options, determining project scope and responsicontinued bilities of all parties involved.
Richard Dolmat CEO / Producer
604-297-0722
Email: info@digitalsoundmagic.com Recording & Mixing • Video Production • Voice Overs • Narration • Film & TV Post • Corporate Audio
www.digitalsoundmagic.com
Celebrate this
Valentine Day with fresh flowers
Everything you need for tonight
starting at $2
per
single stem rose and $12 per bouquet
• Fresh organic produce • Prime selection of organic meats • Healthy snacks • Health and vitamin products
Lowest prices in town Guaranteed!
What’s Organic? or·gan·ic (adjective) \or-ga-nik\ Involving the use of food produced with the use of feed or fertilizer of plant or animal origin without employment of chemically formulated fertilizers, growth stimulants, antibiotics, or pesticides.
Do not forget to pick up a card for him or her
If you find our products at a lower price, bring in the proof and we’ll beat it by 5%.
Meat, fruit, produce, dry goods and so much more... 421 Sixth Street, New Westminster 604-553-3421 www.newwestorganic.ca
811 Carnarvon St, New Westminster (Opposite of The Old Spaghetti Factory)
www.dollarstore.ca
Get your Piffle delivered early to your inbox! Visit piffle.ca
18
February 2014
“All parties have worked hard to achieve this MOU and I’m very pleased with what we’ve accomplished by working together,” said Councillor Chuck Puchmayr, Chair of the City’s Railway Advisory Committee. “I’d like to thank Southern Railway and Port Metro Vancouver and community members for coming to the table to find a solution that contributes to the quality of life we enjoy in New Westminster.” “THE PUBLIC HAS A RIGHT TO KNOW” PETER JULIAN STATES TO PRIME MINISTER OTTAWA — Following the recent train derailment in Burnaby, Peter Julian, MP (Burnaby-New Westminster) has written a letter to Prime Minister Harper, urging him to take swift action to prevent future accidents and disasters. On January 11th, 2014, seven rail cars carrying coal on a Canadian Pacific Railway train operated by a CN Rail crew derailed in Burnaby. As a result, three cars spilled coal into the protected waterway of Silver Creek, contaminating its waters.
Specializing in “Furniture that Fits” and unique items to showcase your home. Enjoy a great selection of conversation pieces to share with your guests forever. Located on 6th Street, you’ll find decorative pieces for any home. Drop by for a peek, you will leave satisfied.
616 6th St, New Westminster
604.520.0202
Furnit ure • Ho m e Décor • Gif ts uptown.furnish@gmail.com
To advertise, call 604-525-9027 or email sales@piffle.ca today!
February 2014
19
“Communities like Burnaby and New Westminster and others across Canada are increasingly concerned with the irresponsible approach of this federal government on railway safety. When all of these dangerous materials move through our populated and environmentally sensitive areas, citizens need to be warned,” said Julian. Julian is calling on Stephen Harper’s government to require that railway companies alert municipalities when trains carrying hazardous materials move through their jurisdictions, and to include local municipalities in the federal government’s review process. Julian has submitted a Question on the Order Paper in the House of Commons to the Ministry of Transport requesting a detailed response on railway security issues, within 45 days. For more information, please contact Mr. Julian’s constituency office, Sandra Bell, at 604-775-5707 or peter.julian.c1@parl.gc.ca. end
INTERNATIONAL VILLAGE • African Fashion MALL IN TINSELTOWN • African Sheabutter
1117-88 W Pender St, Vancouver • African Black Soaps Next to the Stadium/Chinatown • Musical Instruments SkyTrain Station and more!
MONDAY-SATURDAY NOON TO 8:00PM SUNDAY NOON to 7:00PM Anytime by appointment • Two hours free parking
604-568-8456
www.touchofafrica.ca
Get your Piffle delivered early to your inbox! Visit piffle.ca
20
February 2014
KID’S
Our small prices will leave you with a…
CORNER with
ISAIAH
Reach thousands of local customers. Call 604-525-9027 to advertise today! Serving Smiles to the Lower Mainland
www.piffle.ca EVERYONE WELCOME!
MEN • WOMEN • GIRLS • BOYS
WINTER SPECIAL 10% OFF Located at Dunwood Place 909 Colborne St, New Westminster (near 8th Avenue & McBride)
Come & enjoy the relaxed atmosphere!
FOR APPOINTMENTS CALL 604-521-5655
Q: Why did the grape go out with a prune? A: Because he couldn’t find a date!
Q: What did the blanket say to the bed? A: Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered!
Q: What did the little mountain say to the big mountain? A: Hi Cliff!
Q: How many books can you put in an empty backpack? A: One! After that its not empty!
Q: What’s the difference between bird flu and swine flu? A: If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.
Q: What kind of button won’t unbutton? A: A bellybutton!
Q: Why did the traffic light turn red? A: You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street!
Q: Why do sea-gulls fly over the sea? A: Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels! Q: What dog keeps the best time? A: A watch dog.
Q: What did one elevator say to the other elevator? A: I think I’m coming down with something!
Q: Why did the tomato turn red? A: It saw the salad dressing!
Q: What has four wheels and flies? A: A garbage truck!
Q: What did the grape do when it got stepped on? A: It let out a little wine!
Q: What starts with a P, ends with an E, and has a million letters in it? A: Post Office!
Q: What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room? A: Odor in the court.
To advertise, call 604-525-9027 or email sales@piffle.ca today!
February 2014
21
OTHERWISE HE WOULD BE ALL WASHED UP Q: Why did the robber take a bath? A: Because he wanted to make a clean getaway.
THIS WILL MAKE YOU SMILE Q: What did the judge say to the dentist? A: Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth.
IT WAS SOMETHING Q: Did you hear about the paddle sale at the boat store? A: It was quite an oar deal.
CLASS Q: What do you call a teacher who never farts in public? A: A private tutor.
Piffle’s MATH MADNESS Solution from THE PREVIOUS PIFFLE MAGAZINE
Piffle’s NUMBER BLOCKS Solution from THE PREVIOUS PIFFLE MAGAZINE
FIND OUT WHAT’S IN STORE FOR YOU IN 2014.
25% OFF ALL CHART READINGS!
CALL LIZA TODAY AT
778-898-2146 by liza February 2014
HOROSCOPES
ARIES: Your daily life picks up steam and you are ready to get all the tasks you have been putting off done. Co-workers may cause you grief; think before speaking. TAURUS: Your creativity sparks a new high and you are able to express yourself with ease. Your desire nature is strong and any relationship started at this time will be powerful. GEMINI: Much activity takes place on the home front. Family could cause disagreements. Compromise is the key word for the month of January in the home and work place. CANCER: Neighbors, relative and others you deal with on a daily basis may seem to cause you grief. You are able to put forth your ideas with vigor and gusto. LEO: Your desire to have possessions is strong now. Your financial position is not a sign of your personal worth. Don’t let money get in the way of friendship. VIRGO: Your working very hard to further your own interests. Show the world what you are capable of. You may feel you have to fight for your rights. LIBRA: This is a good time to work alone as much as possible to get things done. Volunteering or social work will do wonders for you. Dreams will be powerful. SCORPIO: Formulate your goals and go after them with gusto. Coordinate your needs with others as opposed to going at it alone. Friends may be argumentative. SAGITTARIUS: You want to achieve and you will get much done on the work front. Coworkers may feel threatened by your efforts to get ahead. Align your interests with others. CAPRICORN: Defending your beliefs is one thing, just don’t force your ideas on others. Look for experiences that will open up your mind to new ideas. Travel may come up. AQUARIUS: Conflicts with your value system or money may arise. The old ways of doing things will come to an end and the birth of the new will take place. PISCES: Now is a good time to put energy back into your relationships. Look for resolution as opposed to opposition in the business and marital scheme of things.
Get your Piffle delivered early to your inbox! Visit piffle.ca
22
February 2014 HE COULD DO BETTER A guy walks into a bar with a small dog. The bartender says, “Get out of here with that dog!”
Subscription Form
Serving Smiles to the Lower Mainland
name address
The guy says, “But this isn’t just any dog… this dog can play the piano!” The bartender replies, “Well, if he can play that piano, you both can stay… and have a drink on the house!”
city Province Phone email
So the guy sits the dog on the piano stool, and
Postal
the dog starts playing. Ragtime, Mozart… and the bartender and patrons are enjoying the music. Suddenly a bigger dog runs in, grabs the
❑ 1 Year ($50 + $2.20 TAX) ❑ new ❑ renewal ❑ send me the Free digital version too! *
subscription start m m / y y y y
small dog by the scruff of the neck, and drags him out. The bartender asks the guy, “What was that all about?” The guy replies, “Oh, that was his mother.
make payments to “sargent’s Publishing”
She wanted him to be a doctor.”
Piffle Subscription Manager 4th Floor, 604 columbia st new Westminster, bc V3m 1a5
HAS WHAT IT TAKES
*Subscription rate has increased due to Canada Post’s announced increase in stamp prices.
Q: Why did the manager hire the marsupial? A: Because he was koala-fied.
FREE
PICTOGRAPH BY ROSS HOOD
Puz zle #4
SCRAP CAR REMOVAL
The principle of this puzzle is to shade, in a logical way, boxes in the grid to discover a picture solution. Numbers on the left show the sets of boxes to be shaded in the in the corresponding column. There is always at least one clear box separating
FILTHY PHIL & HIS DUMMER BROTHERS
the shaded boxes. TIP: It is just as important to discover which boxes are clear.
AUTO HAULING SURREY, BC
corresponding line. Numbers above the grid show the sets of boxes to be shaded
THIS ISSUE’S HINT: “And a bottle of rum.”
Call 604-603-9004 Solution to January 2014 | P u z z l e # 4
PICTOGRAPH
BY ROSS HOOD
Find the solution in the next issue of Piffle. To advertise, call 604-525-9027 or email sales@piffle.ca today!
February 2014
23
studio portraits • event photography • photo restoration • commercial • custom picture framing
FREE Hearing Aid Batteries! nded Free Offer Exte , 2014 to February. 28 Simply mention this ad to receive 1 FREE package or our top quality hearing aid batteries. (all sizes available)
Why Would We Give Away Free Batteries? Simple. People in Burnaby and New West have relied on our hearing aids & services for over 5 years and we appreciate you! This is our way of saying, “Thanks for your support!”. Come in today to get your free package or just call us at the number below and we’ll send your batteries to you by mail (it’s free!).
Get your Piffle delivered early to your inbox! Visit piffle.ca
Fraternal Order of Eagles
Take your Sweetheart out for dinner!
New Westminster Aerie #20 est. May 1898
All Proceeds Raised come “directly back” to our Local New Westminster Community • Fireside Meat Draws • Community Festival Hot Dog Kiosk • Dances • Fundraisers • Salvation Army Volunteers • Monthly Eagle Family Dinners
• • • •
Blind Beginnings Summer Visitation Picnic Lupus Society Camp Goodtimes Canadian Cancer Society • Royal Columbian Hospital Cardiac Ward • Queen’s Park Health Care
We are Looking for a Few Good Men & Women A New Vision… A New Direction… A New Membership…
People Helping People, Contact Us Today! Randall Didiuk – Aerie #20 Secretary 604-377-7765 | didiuk@telus.net
Lunch Specials EVERYDAY (both Chinese and W estern dishes)
441 East Columbia Street New Westminster, BC
Honestly driven.
604-521-1871
10% OFF
604-517-1230
for pick-up orders over $15.00
325A 12th Street New Westminster
FREE DELIVERY
Check out our seasonal specials!
(within a 5km distance & a minimum order of $18.00)
oktirenw@shaw.ca
ANDREW LOCHHEAD, GM
When the Pattullo bridge was built their property was expropriated, and they moved to the two hundred block Columbia Street. Oddly enough and to their exasperation, the building was expropriated again when the SkyTrain was built.
everyday starting at 4:30pm
OPEN 6 DAYS A WEEK 11:00am – 10:00pm Closed Tuesdays