May 2014 | Your community humour magazine | Issue 164
Jamie Larsen & Simple Hearing Solutions: A matter of Trust
Story and photos by Gabor Gasztonyi
See feature on P4
YOUR DIABETES RESOURCE CENTRE
WE ARE OPEN Mon to Fri 9am – 6pm Sat 9am – 2:30pm Sun 9am – 1:30pm
981 Carnarvon St New Westminster
604-523-6767
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212 East Columbia New Westminster under Thrifty Foods
778-316-6760 Open 7 days a week Mon-Fri 9–7pm • Sat 8–7pm Sun 11–6pm
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May 2014
Peter Julian, MP Hyack Festival Burnaby – New Westminster Hope to see you at the
May17th–25th!
Serving Our Community
Need help with federal issues such as E.I., Income Tax, Canada Pension and Canada Student Loan? Please contact Peter Julian’s Community office for assistance. Peter Julian’s Community Office: 7615 Sixth Street, Burnaby, BC V3N 3M6
Phone: 604-775-5707 l Email: peter.julian.c1@parl.gc.ca l www.PeterJulian.ca
Funny Bones by Jones Locally Owned & Published! Fourth floor, 604 Columbia St New Westminster, BC V3M 1A5
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Owner & Publisher Email: publisher@piffle.ca
John Ashdown 604-657-5600
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Vic Leach
778-237-0052
Verne Siebert 604-763-6304
Email: sales@piffle.ca Graphic Design: Cliff Blank Email: production@piffle.ca Photography: Gabor Gasztonyi Glenn Jones would like to hear from his fans. E-mail him at funnybones.by.jones@gmail.com.
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Serving the Community of New Westminster ENJOY NEW WESTMINSTER’S HYACK FESTIVAL Our office can assist with provincial government issues such as MSP, income assistance and provincial disability, WorkSafe, and ICBC.
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judy.darcy.mla@leg.bc.ca PHONE 604-775-2101
Judy Darcy’s Constituency Office is located at 737 Sixth St, New Westminster, V3L 3C6
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MOTHER’S DAY BREAKFAST Two children ordered their mother to stay in bed on Mother’s Day morning. As she lay there looking forward to breakfast in
finally went downstairs to investigate. She found them both sitting at the table eating bacon and eggs. “As a surprise for Mother’s Day,” one
bed, the smell of bacon floated up from the
explained, “we decided to cook our own
kitchen. But after a good long wait she
breakfast.”
Inquire about our
CALL
604-520-6171
SENIORS’
DISCOUNT 426-604 Columbia St, New Westminster THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME My Mother taught me LOGIC… ”If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can’t go to the store with me.” My Mother taught me MEDICINE… ”If you
My mother taught me about GENETICS… “You are just like your father!” My mother taught me about my ROOTS… ”Do you think you were born in a barn?” My mother taught me about the WISDOM of
don’t stop crossing your eyes, they’re going
AGE… ”When you get to be my age, you will
to freeze that way.”
understand.”
My Mother taught me TO THINK AHEAD… ”If you don’t pass your spelling test, you’ll never get a good job!”
My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION… ”Just wait until your father gets home.” My mother taught me about RECEIVING…
My Mother taught me ESP… ”Put your sweater on; don’t you think that I know when you’re cold?”
You are going to get it when we get home. And my all time favorite thing… JUSTICE… ”One day you will have kids, and I hope they turn
My Mother taught me TO MEET A
out just like YOU… then you’ll see what it’s like.”
CHALLENGE… ”What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you… Don’t talk back to me!”
The lifeguard told the mother to make her
My Mother taught me HUMOR… ”When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”
young son stop urinating in the pool. “Everyone knows,” the mother lectured him, “that from time to time, young children will
My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT… ”If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.
MAKING WAVES
urinate in a pool.” “Oh really,” said the lifeguard, “from the diving board!?!?”
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Fe at u r e story 4
Simple Hearing Solutions:
A Matter of Trust Story and photos by Gabor Gasztonyi
O
n a rainy Wednesday morning, I stopped at Simple Hearing Solutions and met with hearing specialist Jamie Larsen. After meeting Jamie’s assistant Alysha at the front counter, I noticed several photographs of one of my favorite groups the Beetles. You do not see that in a medical office terribly often. He must be an old person like myself I thought. I began thinking of Abby Road and Bangladesh and John Lennon and his wife Yoko, sitting in a grassy field in New York’s Central Part. Well Jamie was a young man who had a career as a sound technician as well as an industrial pipefitter before becoming a hearing expert. He played guitar in a rock band and still spins Beetles vinyl in his basement. I asked Jamie how he became interested in hearing. “Having been a musician and sound technician one learns a lot about sound and hearing FEATURE STORY
in general.” He said. “That got me interested in helping solve hearing problems for people. I just love what I do.” After earning his BC-RHIP degree or Registered Hearing Instrument Practitioner’s qualification, Jamie started his successful hearing business, Simple Hearing Solutions. Just on the New Westminster, Burnaby border in a new commercial complex at #108 – 7885 6th Street, Burnaby, Simple Hearing Solutions is close to the heart of New Westminster. They have excellent wheelchair parking and an accessible level access to his offices. I asked Jamie what he thought was the most crucial aspect of working with clients. He said, “I believe that the most important is the idea of trust.” Jamie went on to say that, a good way of developing a trusting relationship with clients is learning more about their everyday lives. “First you must understand a customer’s daily routine. Then it is much easier to tailor hearing solutions to their personal needs.” continued on page 8
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May 2014
May 2014
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Ken McIntosh Rod Drown Researchers
604.619.8455 Dr Robert Henry MacLauchlan & Margaret MacLauchlan 1966 Murders
FREE Hearing Test
Do you remember Lorraine Cunningham, a 1959 Lester Pearson Grad? If so contact us.
eryone a Wishing ev
Happy ay Mother ’s D
Follow me on Twitter!
@BettyM13
Email: bmcintosh@newwestcity.ca 778-773-0546 | bettymcintosh.ca
3 Reasons to Get Your Hearing Tested: It’s easy - only takes 20 minutes You’ll get a copy for your records It’s 100% FREE (a $40.00 Value) *If treatment is recommended, all of your options will be spelled out to you clearly ∞ No complex medical jargon ∞ No vague, dodgy answers ∞ No pushy sales tactics
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Jamie Larsen, Owner R.H.I.P.
Call Today! 604-528-8884 THE MONTH PACKING TIPad OF for another packing tip See next month’s
ure that Disassemble beds and any other furnit screws can be taken apart. Place nuts, bolts, andin a safe bag the Place bag. k in a labeled zip-loc when the place where it will be easy to find furniture needs to be re-assembled.
#108 - 7885 6th Street, Burnaby
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May 2014
Serving New Westminster since 2003. We thank all of you for your continued support of the last nine years!
YOUR DIABETES RESOURCE CENTRE
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JANE’S WALKS
Society brings unity through diversity to the lower mainland with colour, music and food!
May 2–4, 2014 Imagine going for a neighbourhood walk in New Westminster with a friendly group of enthusiastic walkers who just want to enjoy being out in the city, walking and talking. That’s what Jane’s Walks are all about. Named in honour of the urban activist and writer Jane Jacobs, these are free walks, led by volunteers who are New Westminster residents. The walks are held annually on the first weekend in May, and they’re a celebration of what’s great about the urban neighbourhoods where we live. When you’re out and about on foot you get to know your community better, you get to meet your neighbours, and you share the pleasure and benefi ts of walking. About a dozen walks are scheduled in New Westminster for the May 2–4 weekend, and everyone’s invited to join in. Just decide which walk (or walks) you’d like to join, then show up at the starting location for your walk. For more information check the website at www.janeswalk.net or email gardenerwilsonm@hotmail.com.
GET MOVING WITH BC’S DOCTORS! Walk with your Doc is celebrating its 5th anniversary! Join us this year and receive a free pedometer! Want a fresh start this spring? Walk with your Doc is an annual walking event in BC celebrating the World Health Organization’s Move for Health Day. Doctors across the province are hosting free walking events for their patients and the public throughout the week of May 3–11, 2014. All participants receive a free pedometer for signing up. In addition to helping you lose weight, walking increases energy, quality of sleep, and lowers stress and blood pressure. Meet at the Tin Soldier (known as “SARGE”) adjacent to the Fraser river Discovery Centre and River Market.
Do you know exactly how Canada and Europe are linked? Come learn about Canada’s European heritage and see how each country has contributed to the very fabric of Canadian culture. Discover the deep historical connection that binds Europe with Canadian First Nations by exploring the Métis. Learn about Canada and Europe at the 17th annual European Festival this May 31 and June 1. You won’t want to miss out on this exciting weekend of cultural and culinary delights and rich entertainment!
HYACK ANTIQUE FAIR May 18–19 Arenex in Queen’s Park
For more details, contact: 604-522-6894
HYACK INTERNATIONAL PARADE May 24 Starting at 6th St. and 8th Ave., down 6th St. left on Queens, left on 1st and dispersing in Queen’s Park at 3rd Ave.For more details, call 604-522-6894.
ROCK, ROLL, & REMEMBER May 31 7:30 p.m. Massey Theatre, 735 Eighth Ave. On May 31 and June 1, bop and rock with a tribute to Dick Clark’s American Bandstand. Swing, sway, and chant with other unforgettable songs like The Boy from New York City (Manhattan Transfer), Man in the Mirror (Michael Jackson), The Hockey Song (Stompin’ Tom Connors), and We Will Rock You (Queen).
Registration: 9:15 a.m. Walk starts at 10:00 a.m. For information and to register, email wendydorothylee@gmail.com or call 604-669-7887.
Add to the memories with a musical variety sprinkled into the mix: Broadway classics, timeless spirituals, humorous ditties, classical twists, and inspirational pieces. Relive memories and create new ones; it’s a show that shouldn’t be missed!
EUROPEAN FESTIVAL
General Admission: $20, Children: (12 & under) $10
Every year Eurofest BC Society organizes the European Festival to highlight the best of European culture and tradition — giving you a taste of that great “Old Continent” right in your own backyard!
Cont act Massey Ticket Centre at 604-521-5050 or email ticketing@ masseytheatre.com.
This May 31 and June 1 you can savour it all, from German beer and Greek Loukoumades to Bulkan evapi and Dutch fritters! Admire authentic ethnic dress and get swept away by traditional dancing like the Portuguese Vira, the Spanish Flamenco and the Serbian Kolo. You will experience Europe, from east to west, as seen through the eyes of Europeans. This May, EuroFest BC
For Advance Club and Special Group pricing, available only until April 30, 604-584-5928, 604-520-3337 or email tickets@mapleleafsingers.com. Learn more about the Maple Leaf Singers at www.mapleleafsingers.com.
MON TO FRI 9AM-6PM | SAT 9AM-2:30PM | SUN 9AM-1:30PM
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May 2014
TIPS: MIKE’S FLOORING y h a dr it w r o lo f n a le C p after microfibre mo each use.
Simple Hearing solutions has developed a computerized and portable hearing analysis system that allows Jamie to select the correct hearing appliance for his clients. The system is completely portable, and Jamie can do hearing tests in a person’s home as well as in his office.
continued from page 4
Grandson Liam & His Assistant Mike Peterson
812 edinburgh st, New Westminster, BC t: 604-839-7751 F: 604-540-7771 e: info@petersonfloor.ca
After an accurate hearing analysis, Jaime presents a series of options and helps select the best hearing appliance based upon the customer’s needs. Simple Hearing Solutions, not tied to any single manufacturer, will recommend a variety of appliances with different prices and features best suited to the individual client. Testing and fitting of the final hearing appliance is often a tricky process and Simple Hearing Solutions takes extraordinary care to ensure it fits well and that it functions correctly. If a hearing appliance does not work properly, it will eventually
OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK 9:30AM – 6:30PM
VISUAL STORY TELLING SAT, MAY 3, 7 PM An artist’s journey through/painting, poetry and music performing of Synn Kune cycles of making art. OPEN MIC MON, MAY 4, 1:30-3 PM Featuring Guy Allen, P. Eng. Invites you to the Book Launch of his novel, Amyot – a mystery in a Northern Saskatchewan wildcat drilling setting.
43 6th Street, New Westminster | 604.525.4566 renbooks@telus.net • renaissancebookstore.com
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May 2014
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wind up in a drawer, unused. Often people have made poor decisions in selecting incorrect hearing aids. By choosing Simple Hearing Solutions as your hearing aid provider, you will have the best product for your needs. Simple Hearing Solutions offers a three-month service maintenance plan. Jamie will check your hearing aid and make adjustments at three-month intervals for the life of the appliance. In this way, your hearing aid will always be working correctly. That is great peace of mind. To receive the best in hearing care and hearing analysis call or drop in to Jamie’s Simple Hearing Solutions on 6th Street. The telephone number is 604-528-8884. Also, have a look at Simple Hearing Solution’s website www.simplehearing.ca. When you drop in and talk to Jamie about hearing care, make sure you ask him some questions about the Beetles at the same time. It might just be the start of a great relationship. end
Piffle’s NUMBER BLOCKS
POET’S CORNER
with Poet Laureate New We
CANDICE JAMES
stminster
Jewel of the Fraser © Janet Kvammen The city of our birth
reflects the rain
glistening lights jewels on her Images absorbed each a story a world inside the Royal City
twinkle and shine shimmering crown within drops of memory sacred verse
turned upside down tonight
dawn patiently waits sheltered trees rest high rises soar
pier park blinks a golden eye in beds of concrete lost in her beauty
my mind calm one with the a composite over flows time the love came
falls from the sky
knowing river of secret imaginings held captive once more before all that ever was
summer’s reverie gently croons a soul song time after time all is as it should be haunted moonbeams scatter as diamonds on the Fraser Each night
(a rebirth)
Janet Kvammen is a poet of many passions who writes about her love of nature and the nature of love. Her poetry has been published in a number of anthologies including “Sudden Thunder”, “Mind Paintings 2011” the “Royal City Poets Anthologies 1, 2 and 3”, “between earth and sky” and “Honouring Our Veterans”. The surprised recipient of a Writer’s International Net work 2 012 Dis tinguished Poet and Ar tis t Award, Jane t has been feat ured at “Poe t ic Justice”, “Poetry in the Park”, “World Poetry”, “Surrey Muse”, “Holy Wow Poets” and other events. She is a Director of the Royal City Literary Arts Society and a member of New West Artists. Her photographic art was recently published in Shorelines by Candice James. Try to fill in the missing numbers. The missing numbers are integers between 0 and 9. The numbers in each row add up to totals to the right. The numbers in each column add up to the totals along the bottom. The diagonal lines also add up the totals to the right. Find solution in the next Piffle!
New West Poets: please submit your “New West” poems for this column to candicejames@shaw.ca or call 778-322-1131 for info.
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May 2014
THE FAMILY OF POTATOES One night, the Potato family sat down
“And what might that be,” encouraged Mother Potato.
to dinner… Mother Potato and her three
Not knowing quite how to begin, the middle
daughters. Midway through the meal, the
daughter paused, then said with conviction, “I,
eldest daughter spoke up. “Mother Potato,”
too, am getting married!”
she said. “I have an announcement to make.” “And what might that be,” said Mother, seeing the obvious excitement in her eldest daughter’s eyes.
“You, too!” Mother Potato said with joy. “That’s wonderful! Twice the good news in one evening! And who are you marrying, Middle Daughter?” “I’m marrying an Idaho,” beamed the middle
“Well,” replied the daughter, with a proud but sheepish grin, “I’m getting married!” The other daughters squealed with surprise as Mother Potato exclaimed, “Married! That’s
daughter. “An Idaho,” said Mother Potato with joy. “Oh, an Idaho is a fine tater, a fine tater indeed!” Once again, the room came alive with
wonderful! And who are you marrying, Eldest
laughter and excited plan for the future, when
daughter?”
the youngest Potato daughter interrupted.
“I’m marrying a Russet!”
“Mother? Mother Potato? Um, I, too, have an
“A Russet,” replied Mother Potato with pride.
announcement to make.”
“Oh, a Russet is a fine tater, a fine tater indeed!” As the family shared in the eldest daughter’s joy, the middle daughter spoke up. “Mother? I, too, have an announcement.”
“Yes,” said Mother Potato with great anticipation. “Well,” began the youngest Potato daughter with the same sheepish grin as her eldest sister before her, “I hope this doesn’t come
Piffle’s MATH MADNESS
as a shock to you, but I am getting married, as well!” “Really,” said Mother Potato with sincere excitement. “All of my lovely daughters married! What wonderful news! And who, pray tell, are you marrying, Youngest Daughter?” “I’m marrying Peter Jennings!” “Peter Jennings?!” Mother Potato scowled suddenly. “But he’s just a common tater!”
FREE
SCRAP CAR REMOVAL Try to fill in the missing numbers. Use the numbers 1 through 9 to complete the equations. Each number is only used once. Each row is a math equation. Each column is a math equation. Remember that multiplication and division are performed before addition and subtraction. Find solution in the next Piffle!
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YOU KNOW YOU’VE TURNED INTO A MOM WHEN… • You find yourself humming the Barney song as you do the dishes. • You hear a baby cry in the grocery store, and you start to gently sway back and forth, back and forth. However, your children are at school! • You get soooo into crafts you contemplate writing a book called 101 Fun Crafts to do with Dryer Lint and Eggshells. • You spend a half hour searching for your sunglasses only to have your teenager say, “Mom, why don’t you wear the ones you pushed up on your head?” • You are out for a nice romantic meal with your husband, enjoying some real adult conversation, when suddenly you realize that you’ve reached over and started to cut up his steak!
EVERYONE WELCOME!
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2014 EMERGENCY
PREPAREDNESS WEEK
MAY 5TH–10TH THREE STEPS TO EMERGENCY PREPAREDNESS: #1 – KNOW THE RISKS
If you know the risks in your City, the better prepared you will be. We could potentially face a number of hazards including earthquakes and flooding. In addition to natural disasters, there are other risks such as extended power outages and large scale transportation or industrial accidents
#2 – MAKE A PLAN
A plan will help you and your family in terms of what to do in case of an emergency. Your family may not be together when an emergency occurs. Plan how to meet or contact one another and anticipate some of the probabilities. An easy way to complete your emergency plan is online at www.getprepared.ca. Some considerations: • Special health needs • Locating safe exits • Don’t forget your pets • Potential meeting places • Location of gas, water, and • Designate others to assist you in electrical shutoffs picking up your children or other • Contact persons close-by and out-of-town members of your family
#3 – GET A KIT
Located at Dunwood Place 909 Colborne St, New Westminster (near 8th Avenue & McBride)
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FOR APPOINTMENTS CALL 604-521-5655
In the event of an emergency, you will need basic supplies. You may need to get by without power or tap water. BE PREPARED TO BE SELF-SUFFICIENT FOR 72 HOURS! Make sure that your kit is easy to carry and that anyone in your household can access the kit. Keep it in a backpack, duffle bag, or suitcase with wheels. Kits can be purchased already put together. There are other economical ways of assembling a kit by purchasing the items yourself. You can find what you need to assemble for your kit at army surplus stores, hardware stores, and even within your own home. Visit the website www.getprepared.ca for suggestions as to what would be most suitable for your emergency preparedness kit.
THE AMAZING DISASTER RALLY: SATURDAY, MAY 10TH
Find out firsthand the important role cyclists can play in an emergency response. Work with other cyclists to complete tasks throughout New Westminster while navigating through a simulated damaged transportation system. Though our inaugural event has reached the maximum number of spots available for participants, there is much to learn about this topic. For more information as it relates to the event go online to: www.newwestcity.ca/EMO. If you’re interested in attending the event as a spectator, the Start/Finish area will be in Queen’s Park, next to the Stadium.
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May 2014
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Signs & Banners
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New Westminster’s HOME STORE located in historic and scenic Downtown. Shop here for household and home organization needs and much more!
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May 2014
Sargent’s City Scene AMAZING DISASTER RALLY The City of New Westminster and the New Westminster Police Department prepare to host the first ever Amazing Disaster Rally The event will take place on May 10, at the end of National Emergency Preparedness Week. In order to bring attention to the importance of New Westminster residents being prepared for serious incidents and disasters, the City of New Westminster’s Emergency Management Office, in partnership with New Westminster Fire & Rescue Services and the New Westminster Police Depart-
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ment, are hosting The Amazing Disaster Rally on May 10 at 9:00 a.m. in Queen’s Park, New Westminster. The event is expected to last two to three hours and is the first of its kind in the lower mainland. The Amazing Disaster Rally is designed to demonstrate the important role cyclists can play in an emergency response. After an earthquake in New Westminster, cyclists may be able to access roads, pathways and bridges that vehicles can’t, to help move people, information and materials from one location to another. Part cycling rally, part emergency exercise, The Amazing Disaster Rally will see 50 cyclists navigate their way around the City of New Westminster (approximately 25 km) while completing a series of exercises designed to test their knowledge and awareness of various aspects of personal and community preparedness. Participants will need to safely carry envelopes with instructions, bottled water and food for personal use, and cargo which will be provided on the day of the rally by event organizers. “We prepare for a lot of things in life, but most importantly we need to prepare for something we hope never occurs,” said Chief Constable Dave Jones. “While police and other emergency ser-
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May 2014
15
vice agencies prepare for a disaster, we need each and every member of our community to prepare themselves as well.” For more information, please visit www.newwestcity.ca/emo. HERITAGE HOME WORKSHOP The City of New Westminster is pleased to host the 2014 Heritage Home Workshop, featuring industry representatives from across the lower mainland. This interactive workshop will be held on Saturday, April 26, and will provide attendees with tips for improving the energy performance of older homes. The workshop, which supports the City’s Community Energy and Emission Plan (CEEP) initiative, will feature presentations on maintaining and enhancing the heritage and character elements of older homes, while improving their energy use through home upgrades. Information booths will also be on display and attended by FortisBC, BC Hydro and Vancity, highlighting the latest in utility grant and incentive programs, and financial products supporting energy retrofits. “The purpose of the workshop is to provide the New Westminster community with a forum to connect locally, learn about these types of upgrades and share experiences,” said Julie Schueck, Heritage and Community Planner. “The benefits to upgrading your home are many (environmental, financial, energy, etc), but the challenge is finding ways to do so without losing the character elements that make your home unique. This workshop will help you find that balance.” Local resident and homeowner, Dan Scott, has recently completed energy retrofits to his home and will be sitting on the discussion panel to share his experience. Dan’s upgrades included insulation on his home’s perimeter walls, installation of a high efficiency furnace and air source heat pump, solar and on-demand hot water heating, double glazed insulating windows and sealing of air leaks.
Saturday, June 7 11AM - 4PM Scottish Cultural Centre
8886 Hudson St, Vancouver
IS AD M
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0 0 REE . $3 ER 12 F
KI D
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FIrST 10 0
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• boardgames • cameras • Canucks memorabilia • CDs • DVDs • hardware • Hot Wheels • jewellery
• • • • • • • • •
magazines manga monitors parts printer refills printers records software Star Wars
• toys & collectibles • VHS • video games • vintage comics • wrestling
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May 2014
Find the Message
16
H A P E M V O B P S R A S B Y
H A V A A D V X V W K F D H O
A Y P A Y O C J Y E W A O J M
P B J P N U X C S E P M D G O
P U J L I F K Z V T J I B Z J
Y Y A E N N F K D N R L Q R R
M Y R P N Q E L J E N Y Q B L
O E Q K R M K S S S M S L Z B
T T F A C D T K S S H Y R O Y
H H N K C C E M G G F M L X Y
E J H I Z M X R O S U P M R B
M T V L O F X P E G G H K H K
R O B H Q E Y H H L O V E H P
S O M N K T O W S G M T R V D
D P Y O J J K Q Z P B N C X E
FAMILY HAPPINESS HOME HUGS JOY LOVE MAY MOM SWEETNESS
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Piffle’s MATH MADNESS
When is Mother’s Day? Where is a good place to pick up flowers and greeting cards at a reasonable price?
Solution from THE PREVIOUS PIFFLE MAGAZINE
MEET THE JONES’ By Glenn Jones
#26-8720 Forest Grove Drive, Burnaby BC V5A 4C9 | 604-433-3986 | E-mail: glenn-jones@shaw.ca
To advertise, call 604-525-9027 or email sales@piffle.ca today!
May 2014
17
We can’t wait to host your next event.
Sapperton Pensioners’ Hall
can accommodate up to 275 people and is perfect for weddings, dances, dinners, fundraisers, birthday parties, lunches, reunions, memorials, craft markets, filming, meetings, and displays.
• 14' x 25' stage, P/A system, upright piano • 3,500 sq. ft. of open area upstairs with a hardwood floor
• Downstairs has 3,500 sq. ft., linoleum floor, kitchen facilities
• Parking for 30 cars, close to Sapperton SkyTrain Station
• Less than 5 minutes from Pattullo Bridge or Hwy #1 exit
S A PPERTON P ENSIONERS ’ H A LL
318 Keary St, New Westminster • Call 604-522-0280 to book your space today Get your Piffle delivered early to your inbox! Visit piffle.ca
18
May 2014
Open Mon–Sat • Closed Sun
Specializing in “Furniture that Fits” and unique items to showcase your home. Enjoy a great selection of conversation pieces to share with your guests forever. Located on 6th Street, you’ll find decorative pieces for any home. Drop by for a peek, you will leave satisfied.
616 6th St, New Westminster
604.520.0202
Furnit ure • Ho m e Décor • Gif ts uptown.furnish@gmail.com
To advertise, call 604-525-9027 or email sales@piffle.ca today!
May 2014
19
“The installation of the solar water heating was very easy and only took two days, with a couple of follow up visits to make sure everything was running correctly,” said Dan. “I would encourage anyone who is considering these kinds of upgrades to go ahead and do it. We have had great results and consider them one of the best things we have done for our house.” The workshop takes place from 1:00 p.m. to 4:00 p.m. at City Hall. Event registration is free, however seats are limited. To register, please contact Ryan Coleman, Project Coordinator at 604-515-3818 or rcoleman@newwestcity.ca. SONS OF NORWAY CONVENTION New Westminster’s Varden Lodge #19 Sons of Norway will host the District #7 Biennial Convention in New Westminster at the Inn at the Quay, May 30–31. This will bring delegates from the 22 Lodges throughout B.C. to represent their Lodges at this convention’ It will include approximately 80 delegates and some visitors. The International President Marit Kristiansen who makes her home in Alaska will be our special guest. There are more than 300 Lodges in Sons of Norway throughout the United States, Norway, and Canada. Varden Lodge in New Westminster celebrated 102 years of membership on March 15. The Opening Ceremonies will include our lodge young Heritage member who will escort the District Board members and guests to the podium.
INTERNATIONAL VILLAGE • African Fashion MALL IN TINSELTOWN • African Sheabutter
1117-88 W Pender St, Vancouver • African Black Soaps Next to the Stadium/Chinatown • Musical Instruments SkyTrain Station and more!
MONDAY-SATURDAY NOON TO 8:00PM SUNDAY NOON to 7:00PM Anytime by appointment • Two hours free parking
604-568-8456
www.touchofafrica.ca YOUR TROPIC SNORKELLING CENTRE!
40 Years
Serving the Snorkeling & Scuba Community
604.524.1188
825 McBride Blvd, New Westminster www.diveandsea.com
SALES • SERVICE • REPAIRS
LAPTOPS • DESKTOPS • TONER • INK PRINTERS • PHONES • CABLES & MORE! Monday-Friday 9–6pm • Saturday 10-5pm 7882 6th St, Burnaby, BC We recycle computers!
604-524-0500
www.eastridgecomputer.ca Get your Piffle delivered early to your inbox! Visit piffle.ca
20
May 2014
KID’S CORNER with
ISAIAH
Q: What did the painter say to the wall? A: One more crack like that and I’ll plaster you!
Q: What kind of key opens the door on Thanksgiving? A: A turkey!
The Theme for this convention is Strengthening our Heritage as we move forward. The convention will provide the City with a golden opportunity to showcase the new Anvil Centre, the historic downtown, and the waterfront as well as the beautiful hotel Inn at the Quay on the Fraser River. Delegates and others will arrive Tuesday and Wednesday. There will be a Culture Room with all forms of Norwegian Cultures on display to enter a competition that will be judged on accuracy and presentation. Friday night there will be a cruise on the Paddlewheeler up the Fraser River. This will certainly be a highlight and a memorable experience for the delegates, guests, and visitors. Saturday evening will feature a Grand Banquet in the Ballroom at the Inn at the Quay and the entertainment will be provided by the young Heritage members of Varden Lodge. end
Q: Why did the cookie go to the hospital? A: He felt crummy!
Q: What kind of shorts do clouds wear? A: Thunderwear Q: Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants? A: In case they get a hole in one! Q: Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? A: He wanted to get to the bottom. Q: How do you repair a broken tomato? A: Tomato Paste! Q: Why did the baby strawberry cry? A: Because his parents were in a jam!
Q: Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? A: She couldn’t control her pupils! Q: What do you call a bear with no socks on? A: Bare-foot. Q: What can you serve but never eat? A: A volleyball. Q: What kind of shoes do all spies wear? A: Sneakers.
Q: What did the hamburger name his daughter? A: Patty!
Q: Did you hear about the two bed bugs who met in the mattress? A: They got married in the spring.
Q: What kind of egg did the bad chicken lay? A: A deviled egg!
Q: Why do watermelons have fancy weddings? A: Because they cantaloupe.
REMEMBERING
Mom
SHEPHERD, Vivian Bertha
Taken from us suddenly on March 22, 2014, age 84. Born in Prince Rupert, March 18, 1930. She was predeceased by her loving husband, Richard (Dick) in 1999. Survived by daughter, Joanne Thiessen (John), sons, Richard and Christopher (Michelle); sister, Shirley Bourke; grandchildren, John (Kelly), Richard, Deanna, Jamie, Montana, Mikala, Krista, Alexander, Olivia and Candace; greatgrandchildren, Brooklyn, Jordan, and Madison Her funeral was held on Thursday, April 3, 2014 at 10:30 a.m. in Knox Presbyterian Church, 403 E. Columbia St, New Westminster.
To advertise, call 604-525-9027 or email sales@piffle.ca today!
May 2014
21
ADVICE FOR MOTHERS If you feel tense and get a headache, follow the instructions on the bottle of aspirin: Take two tablets and keep away from children.
GROCERY SHOPPING A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a three year old girl in her basket. As they passed the cookie section, the child asked for cookies and her mother told her “no.” The little girl immediately began to whine and fuss, and the mother said quietly, “Now Ellen, we just have half of the aisles left to go through; don’t be upset. It won’t be long.” He passed the Mother again in the candy aisle. Of course, the little girl began to shout for candy. When she was told she couldn’t have any, she began to cry. The mother said, “There, there, Ellen, don’t cry. Only two more aisles to go, and then we’ll be checking out.” The man again happened to be behind the pair at the check-out, where the little girl immediately began to clamor for gum and burst into a terrible tantrum upon discovering there would be no gum purchased today. The mother patiently said, “Ellen, we’ll be through this checkout stand in five minutes, and then you can go home and have a nice nap.” The man followed them out to the parking lot and stopped the woman to compliment her. “I couldn’t help noticing how patient you were with little Ellen…” The mother broke in, “My little girl’s name is Tammy… I’m Ellen.”
Q & A Time Q: What do you call a fake noodle? A: An Impasta. Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest? A: An Investigator. Q: What do you get from a pampered cow? A: Spoiled milk.
FIND OUT WHAT’S IN STORE FOR YOU IN 2014.
25% OFF ALL CHART READINGS!
CALL LIZA TODAY AT
778-898-2146 by liza May 2014
HOROSCOPES
ARIES: Watch your money and finances this month. Mix ups could occur and not to your benefit. TAURUS: If you feel confused this month don’t despair. By mid month you will be thinking much more clearly. GEMINI: People from your past will be getting in touch with you. Is this something you want to deal with or put to rest? CANCER: Take some time to figure out what makes you happy this month. By mid month things will become clear. L E O : A re superior s coming across confusing during this time? You may need to communicate more clearly. VIRGO: Travel plans may get mixed up at this time. Check all documents and communications this month. LIBRA: Get everything in writing when dealing with finances. All contracts need to be cleary defned. SCORPIO: If your partner is sending mixed up messages at this time, laugh it off and get on with life. SAGITTARIUS: Make sure you have your daily life organized. Time spent alone will be beneficial. CAPRICORN: Try to figure out what makes you happy then give it your all ! Happiness is a thought away. AQUARIUS: Get your home life organized during this time. Organization is the key to future success. PICSES: Communication seems to elude you these days. Use your sensitive nature to get to the heart of matters.
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22
May 2014
BUSINESS STRATEGIES
4. Saying things like “This is the way we
Old tribal wisdom says that when you
always have ridden this horse”
discover you are riding a dead horse, the best
5. Appointing a committee to study the horse.
strategy is to dismount. Businesses, however,
6. Arranging to visit other sites to see how
often try other strategies. These include… 1. Appointing a tiger team to revive the dead horse.
they ride dead horses. 7. Increasing the standards to ride dead horses.
2. Declaring that “No horse is too dead to beat.”
8. Creating a training session to increase our riding ability.
3. Buying a stronger whip.
9. Comparing the state of dead horses in today’s environment.
PICTOGRAPH BY ROSS HOOD
Puz zle #7
The principle of this puzzle is to shade, in a logical way, boxes in the grid to discover a picture solution. Numbers on the left show the sets of boxes to be shaded in the corresponding line. Numbers above the grid show the sets of boxes to be shaded in the corresponding column. There is always at least one clear box separating the shaded boxes. TIP: It is just as important to discover which boxes are clear.
THIS ISSUE’S HINT: “A Hole Maker”
10. Change the requirements declaring that “This horse is not dead”. 11. Hire contractors to ride the dead horse. 12. Harnessing several dead horses together for increased speed. 13. Providing additional funding to increase the horse’s performance. 14. Do a CA Study to see if contractors can ride it cheaper. 15. Purchase a product to make dead horses run faster. 16. Declare the horse is now “better, faster and cheaper.” 17. Form a quality circle to find uses for dead horses. 18. Revisit the performance requirements for horses. 19. Say this horse was procured with cost as an independent variable.
Find the solution in the next issue of Piffle. Solution to April 2014 | P u z z l e
PICTOGRAPH
#6
BY ROSS HOOD
Piffle’s NUMBER BLOCKS Solution from THE PREVIOUS PIFFLE MAGAZINE
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May 2014
23
gabor gasztonyi Classic Portraits Studio & Gallery
Professional Photographers of Canada Member
PHOTOGRAPHY
778-397-1449
studio portraits • event photography • photo restoration • commercial • custom picture framing
730 – 12th St, New Westminster | www.gaborphotography.com
Place
Dunwood
The Presbyterian Senior Citizens’ Housing Society
Beautiful park like setting
Fully equipped woodwork shop, cafe, hair salon, large covered patio and gazebo in a lush garden setting. Too many amenities to list. Conveniently located to shopping. Come and tour this exceptional one of a kind facility. Very reasonable rents.
901 Colborne Street, New Westminster Seniors Independent Living 604-521-8636 dunwoodplace@telus.net
Who Says Time-Travel Is Impossible? In Evelyn Sangster Benson’s new book YOU can step back in time and re-live: • the Penitentiary escape of the notorious trainrobber Billy Miner! • a harrowing skate on the frozen Fraser to Marpole and back! • the noise and clatter of the first automobile on New Westminster streets! • riding in the open trunk of a car on your way to the beach! • the reality of life without deodorants! • cruising Columbia St. in a hot-rod in the “cool” Fifties! • jiving at the Hollywood Bowl!
Only
$1995
Available at Westminsterpublishing.ca Black Bond Books and Renaissance Books
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BREAKFAST • LUNCH • DINNER • DAILY SPECIALS
604-524-8118
Take Mom out for Dinner on Mother’s Day
Sunday, May 11
Open 7 days a week!
636 Sixth Street Mon to Sat 7am – 8pm New Westminster Sun/Holidays 8am – 8pm
wafflehouserestaurant.com
Manny’s Barber Shop 212 East Columbia New Westminster under Thrifty Foods
778-316-6760 Open 7 days a week Mon-Fri 9–7pm • Sat 8–7pm • Sun 11–6pm
Lunch Specials EVERYDAY (both Chinese and W estern dishes)
441 East Columbia Street New Westminster, BC
Honestly driven.
604-521-1871
10% OFF
604-517-1230
for pick-up orders over $15.00
325A 12th Street New Westminster
FREE DELIVERY
Check out our seasonal specials!
(within a 5km distance & a minimum order of $18.00)
oktirenw@shaw.ca
ANDREW LOCHHEAD, GM
Sunday, May 11, 2014. Your Dollar Store With More at 811 Carnarvon St New Westminster, BC, 604-544-5858
everyday starting at 4:30pm
OPEN 6 DAYS A WEEK 11:00am – 10:00pm Closed Tuesdays