October 2014 | YOUR COMMUNITY HUMOUR MAGAZINE | Issue 169
Betty McIntosh: A Life in Community Service See feature on P12 Story and photos by Gabor Gasztonyi
Enter to win a $25 gift
certificate! See P16 for details
YOUR DIABETES RESOURCE CENTRE
WE ARE OPEN Mon to Fri 9am – 6pm Sat 9am – 2:30pm Sun 9am – 1:30pm
981 Carnarvon St New Westminster
604-523-6767
“Good clean cars, reasonably priced!”
301-12th St, New West
604-377-5889
Congrats Kelly & Iona!
Experience Gets Things Done!
It is easy to have an over-simplified view of how a city works — I know I did in the beginning. It takes experience to get to know how the various systems in a city work, and who the stakeholders are. Believe me, just because one thinks one has a good idea, it does not follow that everyone will buy into it! My track record of completed projects speak for my experience of getting things done.
Let’s Keep It Wright!
October 2014
3
BREAKFAST • LUNCH • DINNER • DAILY SPECIALS
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SENIORS’
DISCOUNT 426-604 Columbia St, New Westminster THE GENTLEMAN MONSTER Two monsters went to a Halloween party. Suddenly one said to the other, “A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?” The other monster replied, “Be a gentleman and roll them back to her.”
THE BEST DAY
Ken McIntosh Rod Drown Researchers
604.619.8455 Dr Robert Henry MacLauchlan & Margaret MacLauchlan 1966 Murders
Q: When do ghouls and goblins cook their victims? A: On Fry Day.
A BIG BOWL FULL
Do you remember Lorraine Cunningham, a 1959 Lester Pearson Grad? If so contact us.
ND HAVE A SAFE A N! ASO HAPPY FALL SE
Q: What’s a monsters favorite dessert? A: I-Scream!
AN OCTOBER TREAT Q: What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A: A “hollow-weenie!”
Follow me on Twitter!
@BettyM13
Email: bmcintosh@newwestcity.ca 778-773-0546 | bettymcintosh.ca
A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
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October 2014
Peter Julian, MP Burnaby – New Westminster Serving Our Community
Need help with federal issues such as E.I., Income Tax, Canada Pension and Canada Student Loan? Please contact Peter Julian’s Community office for assistance. Peter Julian’s Community Office: 7615 Sixth Street, Burnaby, BC V3N 3M6
Phone: 604-775-5707 l Email: peter.julian.c1@parl.gc.ca l www.PeterJulian.ca
Find the Message
P C R J I Z Q G G N Y H S E E
R R O E L Y G Y W N Y O F Z K
I M Q N G Q I Z F H L O V K G
V E O G N I V N D D I E D F J
A D F D U A M C I L S T R J M
T E V L T I U E X P V C E M H
E A D F Y H R G N H A K Q Y O
W D P U M S S F H T E F B X V
A D V U A M V I C T F A D E C
A I B M U L O C T O X R D N S
I Y H R G G C D L I A N S C K
T H I J T N F T D N R F L Y Z
F L A O F J T U R X U B B I Y
O C G X I E K E P Q W A M N T
K P R V D E B L M K N M Y I D
BERNARD CLAUDE
Owner & Publisher Email: publisher@piffle.ca
COLUMBIA
CONNAUGHT
Verne Siebert 604-763-6304 Vic Leach 778-237-0052 John Ashdown 604-657-5600
DETTLOFF DUKE JACK
PRIVATE
REGIMENT SOLDIERS WHITEY
Fourth floor, 604 Columbia St New Westminster, BC V3M 1A5
Chris Sargent 604-525-9027
BRITISH
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Email: sales@piffle.ca
Graphic Design: Cliff Blank Email: production@piffle.ca Photography: Gabor Gasztonyi
piffle.ca
Serving the Community of New Westminster Our office can assist with provincial government issues such as MSP, income assistance and provincial disability, WorkSafe, and ICBC.
Judy Darcy, MLA
judy.darcy.mla@leg.bc.ca PHONE 604-775-2101
Judy Darcy’s Constituency Office is located at 737 Sixth St, New Westminster, V3L 3C6
To advertise, call 604-525-9027 or email sales@piffle.ca today!
“Help me put balance back on City Council.”
– Calvin
ON NOVEMBER 15
ELECT CALVIN
DONNELLY COUNCILLOR
Photo by Gabor Gasztonyi
CITY OF NEW WESTMINSTER An experienced and dedicated person who since the last election continues to serve the community. A member of Mayor Wayne Wright’s “WAIT FOR ME DADDY” Task Force. 1st & 2nd Vice President of the Royal Canadian Legion Branch #2.
Secretary for the Sapperton Old Age Pensioners.
Senior Services Society past president.
Musical host for a variety of festivals and events throughout the city each year.
A Century House volunteer presenting a community musical program several times a year that helps to raise funds for senior programs.
Has been an energetic volunteer in many different capacities in our community.
On November 15, mark one of your six votes for Calvin Donnelly
Contact Cal at 604-250-3564 or email calvindonnelly14@gmail.com
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October 2014
Serving New Westminster since 2003. We thank all of you for your continued support of the last nine years!
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October 2014
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SENIORS FESTIVAL: THE CHANGING FACES OF AGING October 18, 10:00 a.m. – 3:00 p.m. Anvil Centre, 777 Columbia St, New Westminster Featuring a range of drop-in classes, workshops and presentations designed to entertain, educate and engage older adults aged 50+ and IMBY (In My Back Yard) Information Fair with representatives from not-for-profit seniors service providers.
WAIT FOR ME DADDY: WAR MEMORIAL SCULPTURE UNVEILING Saturday, October 4 at 11:00 a.m. Hyack Square, Columbia and 8th St, New Westminster, BC
Anvil Centre is located at 777 Columbia Street, across the street from New Westminster SkyTrain Station. For more information, call 604-636-4442. Produced by City of New Westminster’s Seniors Advisory Committee.
QUEEN’S PARK
The City of New Westminster’s Mayor and Council invite one and all to witness the unveiling of the never before seen Wait for Me PUMPKIN PATCH Daddy War Memorial Sculpture at a family-friendly event to honour October 18, 12:00 – 3:00 p.m. and acknowledge those affected by war — past and present.
11:00 a.m. Offi cial Unveilings: War Memorial, Toonie and Stamp.
Queen’s Park Picnic Shelter, all ages
Derrick Thornhill, of Park Georgia Realty in support of Monarch Place Women’s Shelter, is hosting a family pumpkin Whitey Bernard, the little boy in Wait for Me Daddy photo, will unveil patch with complimentary pumpkins, hot chocolate, coffee the War Memorial Sculpture. The granddaughter of the photographer and Timbits. Come out dressed in your cutest, scariest or Claude Dettloff, and the British Columbia Regiment, will attend as most original costume for complimentary photos and prizes. well. The Canadian Mint Toonie and Canada Post Stamp featuring Other highlights include pumpkin carving, a coloring contest, popcorn and grab bags. the iconic photo will also be revealed for the first time. 12:30 – 3:00 p.m. Unveilings will be followed by activities at Anvil Centre, 777 Columbia Street: • Opening of Wait for Me Daddy museum exhibit
Saturday, October 18, 12:00 – 3:00 p.m. Queen’s Park Picnic Shelter 604-525-1005
• Canada Post first day sale of Wait for Me Daddy commemorative stamp
Donations welcomed for Monarch Place
• Toonie exchange – bring an old Toonie and get a Wait for Me Daddy Toonie
October 22, 8:00 a.m. to October 24 at 5:00 p.m. Landmark Cinemas @ Shops at New West, 800 Carnarvon St, New Westminster
• Visual art exhibit by local artists based on the theme of the photograph • Vintage car display (outside) and much more!
NEW WEST DOC FEST 2014
New West Doc Fest is a three day celebration of the documentary fi lm, featuring both shorts and longer fi lms. Tickets for individual days and the entire festival can be ordered online at their website or bought the day of the festival. For a full listing of fi lms see their Facebook page.
MON TO FRI 9AM-6PM | SAT 9AM-2:30PM | SUN 9AM-1:30PM
The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
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October 2014
Sargent’s City Scene NEW WESTMINSTER ELECTION OFFICE IS NOW OPEN TO THE PUBLIC The City of New Westminster Election Office is now open to the public Monday to Friday from 8:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. and is located at New Westminster City Hall, 511 Royal Avenue. Election Office staff will assist electors, candidates and the general public with their questions about the upcoming general local a nd school elections taking place on Saturday, November 15, 2014. The candidate nomination period begins on September 30, 2014 at 9:00 a.m. and closes on October
10, 2014 at 4:00 p.m. An official declaration of candidates will follow shortly after the nomination period closes. Candidates can pick up candidate nomination packages at the City Hall Reception Desk or download them online at www.newwestcity.ca/elections. To contact the City of New Westminster Election Office, email elections@newwestcity.ca or call 604-636-4484 or 604-636-4485. ZHOOSH FITNESS GARAGE GRAND OPENING AND FUNDRAISER FOR PARKINSON SOCIETY BC Robyn Murrell, owner of ZHOOSH Fitness Garage in New Westminster, continued on page 10
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October 2014
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My name is
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May I say Thanks to Salvatore for letting me work for 10 years at Panorama Hair?
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October 2014
continued from page 8
is hosting her Grand Opening and Fundraiser for Parkinson Society British Columbia (PSBC). The event is scheduled for Sunday, October 5, 2014 from 12:00 to 4:00 p.m. at 131-11th St, New Westminster (between Queens and Auckland Ave). Robyn’s 30 years in the dental profession, which included private practice and a teaching hospital, had her working closely with many patients having a variety of medical issues and disabilities. This experience has translated well with her new career as a Certified Personal Trainer. She has always been passionate about supporting people with specific medical needs. Robyn understands the importance of exercise for people with Parkinson’s. She wants to support PSBC by bringing awareness of PD to her community and raise funds for research, education and support services, starting at her Grand Opening! This event includes: • Demos and Class Trials by donation to PSBC • Noon — FOXY KICKBOXING for Women — Robyn Murrell • 1 p.m. — BOXING BAD — Lydia Walczak, Canadian Woman’s Boxing Champion 2007 • 2 p.m. — KARATE — Sensei Bill Hunter, Tashu Karate • 3 p.m. — WRESTLING — Steven Burgess, Eric Paulson — Combat Submission Wrestling • Pizza sponsored by Boston Pizza New West (Columbia Square Plaza) • Refreshments & Treats
• Raffle with 100% sales going to PSBC • Visit with Mayor Wayne Wright • Massages by New West Wellness Centre • WildRoots Juice • Raffle 100% of event donations raised benefiting Parkinson Society British Columbia for research, education and support services. Contact Robyn Murrell at 778-323-1465 or email robyn@zhooshfitness.com. For more information, visit www.zhooshfitness.com. CIVIC MAYORAL FORUM • Date/Time: October 28, 2014, 7:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. • Event: Civic Mayoral Forum • Organizer: New Westminster Chamber of Commerce • Location: Inn at the Quay, 900 Quayside Drive http://newwestchamber.com/event/2014-civicmayoral-forum/ CITY AND CHAMBER OF COMMERCE TO HOST 2014 ECONOMIC FORUM – OCTOBER 2, 2014 On Thursday, October 2, 2014, the City of New Westminster and New Westminster Chamber of Commerce will host the Invest New West Economic Forum at Anvil Centre, New Westminster’s newest conference facility.
To advertise, call 604-525-9027 or email sales@piffle.ca today!
October 2014
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The 2014 New West Economic Forum will build on the success of the 2012 inaugural Economic Forum and will feature the present and future growth of New Westminster and highlight potential opportunities for business and investment. “It’s no secret, New Westminster is on the rise and quickly becoming the place to locate,” said New Westminster Mayor Wayne Wright. “The Invest New West Economic Forum will showcase some of the city’s key business leaders and why New Westminster is a great place to invest.” Sponsored by Wesgroup and Port Metro Vancouver, this year’s keynote will be presented jointly by Colin Bosa of Bosa Properties Inc. and Dale Bosa of BlueSky Properties. Together, the brothers will share their experiences, development history, and speak to the opportunities that they see in New Westminster. Andrew Ramlo of Urban Futures is also back by popular demand and will present original research that provides key insights on the
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07-Sep-2014 17:13:42
Piffle’s MATH MADNESS
Piffle’s NUMBER BLOCKS
Try to fill in the missing numbers. Use the numbers 1 through 9 to complete the equations. Each number is only used once. Each row is a math equation. Each column is a math equation. Remember that multiplication and division are performed before addition and subtraction. Find solution in the next Piffle!
Try to fill in the missing numbers. The missing numbers are integers between 0 and 9. The numbers in each row add up to totals to the right. The numbers in each column add up to the totals along the bottom. The diagonal lines also add up the totals to the right. Find solution in the next Piffle!
A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
FE AT U R E STORY
October 2014
Betty McIntosh A life of community service
Story and photos by Gabor Gasztonyi
I
just had the privilege of meeting Betty McIntosh at City Hall and sitting down with her and reviewing her many years of community service. She will not be running in this fall’s civic election and is hoping to spend more time travelling with her husband Ken and spending time with other members of her family including grandson Kent. Betty’s first foray into civic politics began in 1993 when she ran for School Trustee, narrowly losing out to Doug Walker in a very close vote. Betty went on to win her first election to the city council three years later in 1996, the same year Betty Toporowski retired. The mayoralty candidates that year were Helen Sparkes, Cathy Cherris, Lynda Fletcher-Gordon and Calvin Donnelly. It was a hotly contested election with Helen Sparkes winning as mayor. Along with Betty, other folks making it to council included Casey Cook, Jerry Dobrovolny, Charmaine Murray Bob Osterman and Chuck Puchmayr narrowly by recount.
I remember putting one of her campaign signs on my front lawn on Glen Court back then and wondering if she would have a chance. Sure enough, she made to council that year in her first of six campaigns. Although defeated in 2002, Betty went on to regain her position on the council in all elections since then. After narrowly losing her bid for school trustee in a recount in 1993, Betty became the volunteer parent on the District Parent’s Advisory Council. This saw her move on to one of the City’s Advisory committees and spark her deep commitment to serving the citizens of New Westminster. Later she won a seat on council and went on to chair the City’s Access committee. This committee deals with accessibility issues for persons with disabilities, and I worked with her myself helping to draft the City’s Accessibility Policy. The policy initiative began earlier under the guidance of Lynda FletcherGordon. Ron Jones a long time member of this committee and I worked finally to have this new policy entrenched in the City’s policy guidelines. The committee has made numerous building inspections to ensure building accessibility as well as continuing the curb ramping campaign.
To advertise, call 604-525-9027 or email sales@piffle.ca today!
October 2014
13
I asked Betty how she would characterize her style as a councillor, and she replied. “I’ve always believed in the idea of the community walk and being accessible to everyone,” she said. I asked what she meant by that. “I go to almost all community events as a councillor and if you are out in the community, you have to be prepared to talk to people. I wanted people to have the feeling that someone at city hall is friendly. Often when they walk into City Hall they are confused. They ask themselves, where do I start? I make myself available to help community people find the right director or person that can help them with their problems. It’s important to be visible and easily approached,” she said. “I always make sure, for example, that I am at that Century House bake sale, just to make myself accessible and ready to listen,” she said. “I see you run ads regularly in Piffle,” I said. “The ad gives people my phone number and makes me more easily reached in the community,” Betty said. When I think of Betty not only do I think of her service to the city but also of the days when she vaccinated children in school as a public health nurse. Very few children in New Westminster, in my kid’s generation at least would have gone through school without knowing Betty. That’s an important thing in any one’s book. A number of years ago, I had the misfortune of fracturing my kneecap and somehow managed to drive
myself to the Royal Columbian Hospital Emergency Department. That sort of thing is not always a fun experience and visiting the emergency department is something I usually dreaded. The triage nurse on duty that night was my friend Betty McIntosh. “Oh, you’ll be fine. Don’t worry we’ve got a great doctor on tonight,” she said. “Really, well that makes me feel a lot better,” I replied. “We’ll have you in before you know it. A few x-rays and you’ll be out the door.” “Six weeks,” she said. “Could be worse. Six weeks in a cast isn’t that bad,” I replied. Six weeks later, I was fine and walked about again. On occasion, being the friendly councillor she was, patients would sometimes ask her the odd political question while sitting on a stretcher in emergency. “And you know, sometimes that’s not a bad thing, because it gets their mind working in another direction. First though the important thing is about getting you out of emergency. We can talk about the other things later,” she said. We at Piffle wish Betty and her family all the best as she retires from local government. Betty would always bring to the table the perspective of a caring parent, homemaker and the working family. This was one of the reasons for her success I believe, and perhaps one of her greatest legacies. end
“Let’s Get Ahead Together”
Roveen Kandola
Real Estate Transaction Specialist
604-644-7653(SOLD) A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
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October 2014
PICTOGRAPH BY ROSS HOOD
PUZ ZLE #12
The principle of this puzzle is to shade, in a logical way, boxes in the grid to discover a picture solution. Numbers on the left show the sets of boxes to be shaded in the corresponding line. Numbers above the grid show the sets of boxes to be shaded
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Find the solution in the next issue of Piffle. Solution to September 2014 | PUZZLE #11
PICTOGRAPH
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October 2014
15
continued from page 11
economic and demographic trends in the Metro Vancouver region. Attendees include business leaders and professionals from a diverse range of sectors such as retail, real estate, development health care, education, finance, business services, hospitality, and technology. From small business to large, attendees will be those seeking future investment, expansion and location opportunities within New Westminster. “The 2014 Economic Forum will continue the dialogue initiated in 2012 and provide attendees with a comprehensive understanding of the economic activity in our city,” said Chamber of Commerce Chair Christine Conway. “We invite everyone to join us on October 2nd and learn more about the amazing opportunities our city has to offer.” For more information on the economic forum and to purchase tickets, please visit www.investnewwest.ca. NEW WESTMINSTER ELECTION OFFICE IS NOW OPEN TO THE PUBLIC The City of New Westminster Election Office is now open to the public Monday to Friday from 8:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. and is located at New Westminster City Hall, 511 Royal Avenue. Election Office staff will assist electors, candidates and the general public with their questions about the upcoming general local and school elections taking place on Saturday, November 15, 2014. The candidate nomination period begins on September 30, 2014 at 9:00 a.m. and closes on October 10, 2014 at 4:00 p.m. An official declaration of candidates will follow shortly after the nomination period closes. Candidates can pick up candidate nomination packages at the City Hall Reception Desk or download them online at www.newwestcity.ca/elections. To contact the City of New Westminster Election Office, email elections@newwestcity.ca or call 604-636-4484 or 604-636-4485. end
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OCT 2014
ARIES: You know you are right, just don't beat people over the head to believe in your views. Expand your mind and open up new dimensions for yourself. TAURUS: Tensions may arise in regards to values and objects such as property or possessions. There will be a death of the old and a birth of the new. GEMINI: Compromise is important within all relationships. Fights with partners may come to play during this time. Avoid all needless controversy. CANCER: Your daily life really picks up speed. Share what you feel instead of bottling it all up. Do something physical in order to avoid health problems. LEO: All love relationships grow more intense. Let your energies roam where they may before you settle into a plan of action. Children play a significant role. VIRGO: Working hard around your home will reap benefits in the future. However, controversies within the home may arise. Avoid fights with your mate. LIBRA: Neighbors and relatives may get on your nerves during this time. Try not defending your ideas but incorporating them with others ideas. Your mind is active. SCORPIO: Your financial position is not a sign of your personal wealth. Disputes over property may arise. Don't shove your beliefs down other peoples throats. SAGITTARIUS: You now have the chance to show the world what you can do. You may have to fight for your rights. If so, do it diplomatically. CAPRICORN: Take a look at your past behaviors and make note what has not worked for you. A good time to work alone or in a social field helping others. AQUARIUS: A time to formulate your goals and go after them with gusto. All group activities will work in your benefit. Problems with friends may arise. PISCES: Authority figures may try to block you during this time. Stand down to any arguments or flare ups. It’s not worth the battle at all.
Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
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October 2014
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October 2014
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Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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October 2014
Piffle’s MATH MADNESS SOLUTION FROM THE PREVIOUS PIFFLE MAGAZINE
IT’S WHAT YOU DO WITH THEM For Halloween I’m going to write “Life” on a plain white T-shirt and hand out lemons to strangers.
HE’S THE BEST Q: Which ghost is the best dancer? A: The Boogie Man!
I SAW ONE AND IT SCARED THE HECK OUT OF ME
Piffle’s NUMBER BLOCKS SOLUTION FROM THE PREVIOUS PIFFLE MAGAZINE
Q: What did one ghost say to the other ghost? A: “Do you believe in people?”
IJK? Wife: “How would you describe me?” Husband: “ABCDEFGHIJK.” Wife: “What does that mean?” Husband: “Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot.” Wife: “Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?” Husband: “I’m just kidding!”
PAYING MY DEBT
Serving Smiles to the Lower Mainland Subscription Form Name Address
Two accountants go to their credit union on their lunch break, when armed robbers burst in. While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers, including the accountants, up
city Province Phone Email
against a wall, and proceed to take their
Postal
wallets, watches, and other valuables. While this is going on accountant number one jams something in accountant number two’s hand.
❑ 1 Year ($50 + $2.50 TAX) ❑ New ❑ Renewal ❑ Send me the FREE digital version too! *
Without looking down, accountant number two whispers, “What is this?” to which accountant number one replies, “it’s that $50 I owe you.”
subscription start M M / Y Y Y Y Make payments to “Sargent’s Publishing”
THE BLEND
Piffle Subscription Manager 4th Floor, 604 Columbia St New Westminster, bc V3M 1A5
Q: What do you get when you cross Bambi
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with a ghost? A: Bamboo.
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October 2014
19
We can’t wait POE T’S CORNER to spend our CANDICE JAMES time with you! Sturgeon Poem L © Franci Louann with Poet Laureate New We
ocally owned and operated by Wendy Scott, Nurse Next Door Burnaby has been serving the Burnaby, New Westminster, Port Moody, Coquitlam and Anmore communities since 2009. They’re truly a company that’s about caring, not just health care — even when a client might not want it! “Delivering happiness to our clients can be as simple as preparing a bubble bath or cooking their favourite meals,” says Scott. “The biggest objection we face when providing home care is that our clients simply don’t think they need it!” Here’s the kind of home care we provided Eleanor: We planted flowers for her. An early Alzheimer’s patient, Eleanor’s daughter wanted to get her mother some extra help around the house with simple housekeeping tasks. Eleanor, however, was having none of it. Our caregiver showed up to her shift and Eleanor would kick her out of the house, saying she didn’t need the help. The caregiver never gave up. She still showed up for every shift, making her presence known to Eleanor and simply started working outside Eleanor’s home. She began with simple yard work — cleaning up litter and mowing the lawn, progressing to gardening to brighten up the yard. One day, Eleanor opened the door and said “Well, if you’re going to continue to show up, you may as well come in!” Our caregiver gave Eleanor a big smile and knew she was on her way to winning Eleanor over. Find out how we can help. Call 604-553-3330 today to book your FREE caring consult.
stminster
I’m fishing for a poem about a sturgeon— it swam by here some years ago— the poem that got away the poem ‘bout how ‘sturgeon’ is not a word for a poem sturgeon is a word for the Fraser a word for 200 million years a word for a thousand kilos sturgeon is not a word for extinction Franci Louann has almost fif t y poems about New Westminster and environs, e.g., the Fraser River. One of her passions is the environment. She embraces composting here in our city as an esthetic experience. Franci co-founded and manages Poetic Justice. Visit www.poeticjustice.ca.
New West Poets: please submit your “New West” poems for this column to candicejames@shaw.ca or call 778-322-1131 for info. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
20
October 2014
hell they're saying
uts between the age of 50- 75 who are frustrated ed by the problems caused by mild to moderate hearing lloss. e high quality options of discreet to invisible amplif To advertise, call 604-525-9027 or email sales@piffle.ca today!
October 2014
21
Does your property have an oil storage tank?
OIL TANK REMOVAL
M
any homes built between the 1920s and 1960s used oil as a heating fuel, with oil tanks buried close to the foundation of a home. Few homes use oil now, and home owners may not realize that they have an old tank on their property. Tanks have an average life of 20 to 25 years, after which they can begin to leak hazardous materials. Signs that you may have an underground tank include: • A filler pipe sticking out of the ground; • A vent pipe at the side of the house; • A metal pipe cap close to the front or back yard; • A sunken area on your lawn. Oil floats on water, so every time it rains the oil makes its way to the surface causing a rainbow sheen. This can cause cross contamination, leak into a neighbour’s property, or into a creek, killing fish. A single pinhole leak in a 1,000 gallon fuel storage tank can leak its contents into the environment in less than eight hours contaminating property, groundwater, streams, neighbouring properties and injuring wildlife. Fire department fuel/oil tank records are gathered from different sources and are for convenience only and should not be relied on for any purchase decision for any property. Unless New Westminster Fire & Rescue Services is in possession of all required documentation, we cannot confirm the status of the Fuel/Oil Tank. The City of New Westminster assumes no liability for soil conditions on the property due to fuel storage tank leakage.
• Serving the Lower Mainland since 2003 • A+ Rating with the Better Business Bureau of Mainland BC • Fair prices, references, fully insured • Free written estimates
Call Steve at 604-724-3670 stormworks@stormworks.ca
www.stormworks.ca NEW WESTMINSTER SECONDARY SCHOOL
1969 GRADS GET-TOGETHER at The River’s Reach Pub October 18. Starts at 2pm. Call 604-521-7929 for more information.
WHAT TO DO NEXT? We recommend contracting the services of a professional Oil Tank Contractor to survey the property to verify or negate the existence of an oil tank. If a fuel storage tank is continued on page 22 A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
22
October 2014
R EGISTRATION & D ONATIONS Christmas Bureau for New Westminster supports low income families with children 14 years old & younger. Application deadline October 1, Monday to Friday, 10am – 2pm.
Call Lyn
604-521-2421
or
604-868-7672
The Salvation Army New Westminster Citadel Corps 325 Sixth St, New Westminster (come around to the back and downstairs)
continued from page 21
located, a permit is required from New Westminster Fire & Rescue Services to remove or decommission the tank. NOTICE TO PROPERTY OWNERS New Westminster Fire and Rescue Services is not responsible for and will not interpret environmental results contained in a report from a Registered Professional Environmental Consultant. In addition, the New Westminster Fire and Rescue Services is not responsible for nor will interpret results from metal detection scans performed by an Oil Tank Contractor. If you have any questions or concerns, please don’t hesitate to contact us at fire@newwestcity.ca or 604-519-1004. end SENSITIVE MALE Observing The Baby One night a wife found her husband standing over their baby’s crib. Silently she watched him. As he stood looking down at the sleeping infant, she saw on his face a mixture of emotions: disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment, scepticism.
What is the name of the small boy in the “Wait For Me Daddy” photo?
Touched by this unusual display and the deep emotions it aroused, with eyes glistening she slipped her arm around her husband. “A penny for your thoughts,” she said. “It’s amazing!” he replied. “I just can’t see how anybody can make a crib like that for only $67.50.”
MEET THE JONES’ By Glenn Jones
#26-8720 Forest Grove Drive, Burnaby BC V5A 4C9 | 604-433-3986 | E-mail: glenn-jones@shaw.ca
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October 2014
23
Are You of
European or Celtic Ancestry? If so, YOU are at risk for
Hereditary Hemochromatosis If you have two or more of the following symptoms that are otherwise unexplained, contact the Canadian Hemochromatosis Society to inquire about the proper tests for iron overload.
Menstrual irregularities, premature menopause
Chronic fatigue Loss of body hair Loss of libido & sex drive; impotence
Arthritis and joint pain (check knuckles of thumb, first and second finger)
Abdominal distension and discomfort (bloating)
Chondrocalcinosis
Thyroid problems
Diabetes (adult onset type 2)
Sudden weight loss
Enlarged liver, liver diseases including cirrhosis
Elevated liver enzymes, glucose & triglyceride levels
Bronzing or graying of the skin
Personality changes, mood swings; anger & depression
Cancers (metastasized from the liver) Heart arrhythmia, cardiomyopathy Heart disease; congestive heart failure
Toll-Free: 1-877-BAD-IRON (1-877-223-4766) office@toomuchiron.ca www.toomuchiron.ca The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
24
October 2014
Get Noticed !
COUNTING SHEEP An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor. “Doctor, I just can’t get to sleep at night.” The Doctor replied “Have you tried counting sheep?” The accountant stated “That’s the problem… I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it.”
NATURAL HISTORY An accountant and his neighbor went to the Natural History museum one day. While standing near the dinosaur he said to his neighbor: “This dinosaur is two billion years and ten months old”. “Where did you get this exact information?” “I was here ten months ago, and the guide told me that the dinosaur is two billion years old.”
IT’S ALL IN THE PAST I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.
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October 2014
Open Mon–Sat • Closed Sun
2014 General Local Election Saturday, November 15, 2014
Advance Voting Opportunities: November 5th, 8th , and 12th Please visit the City’s website for full details: www.newwestcity.ca/elections
T: 604-636-4484 | 604-636-4485 E: elections@newwestcity.ca The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
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26
October 2014 I DON’T KNOW When cheese gets its picture taken what does it say?
A NICE BREAK FROM WORK Q: What is brown, hairy, and wears sunglasses? A: A coconut on vacation.
ON THE BUS
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A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said, “WOW”.! That’s the ugliest baby I’ve EVER seen!” In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. She
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fumed for a few stops and started getting really worked up. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong. “The bus driver insulted me,” she fumed. The man sympathized and said,
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October 2014
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“Hey! He’s a public servant and he shouldn’t say things to insult the passengers.” “You’re right,” she said. “I think I’ll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind.” “That’s a good idea,” the man said. “Here, let me hold your monkey!”
THIS IS A CLASSIC Q: What is Beethoven’s favorite fruit? A: (sing to the tune of 5th symphony): Banana…na…! Banana…na…!
VISIT TO THE DOCTOR Doctors Office A guy walks into the
Style your life.
doctor’s office. A banana stuck in one of his ears, a bell pepper in the other ear, and a carrot stuck in one nostril. The man says, “Doc, this is terrible. What’s wrong with me?” The doctor says, “Well, first of all, you need to eat more sensibly.”
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PATRICK
Election day is November 15, 2014
JOHNSTONE
for New Westminster City Council
web: www.patrickjohnstone.ca e-mail: info@patrickjohnstone.ca phone: 778-791-1002
PJNewWest @PJNewWest
“Your Columbia Square Eye Doctors — Caring for Your Eyes, Your Vision and Your Health.”
GLASSES • CONTACTS COMPREHENSIVE EYE EXAMS w w w.ne w w e s t min s t er op t ome t r y.com A backward poet writes inverse.
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October 2014
ELECT
CORT RAY CALDWELL New Westminster School Trustee
Be part of the discussion! Your thoughts and opinions matter to Cort! Join Team Cort or contact us today: TeamCort@votecort.ca
votecort.ca
FAKE
Suzie,” said her good friend Barbara, “maybe
Q: What do you call a fake noodle?
you should go see a psychic? One of my
A: An Impasta.
friends did it after her husband died and it made her feel so much better knowing that
I DIDN’T KNOW I COULD DO THAT Harry walked over to the Priest after
her dearest was happy.” So that’s how, on the next Tuesday, Suzie
services, “You know Father, I am really stuck
found herself in a dim room with a crystal ball
in a quandary I would like to attend church
and a psychic talking in a calm voice. “Is he
next week but I just can’t miss the big game
here?” Suzie asked.
next Sunday, it’s just out of the question.” “Oh Harry, Harry,” said the Priest
“Yes, I sense him,” was her reply. “Can you ask him if he’s happy?” Suzie
putting his arm around Harry. “Don’t you know? That’s what recorders are for.” Harry’s face lit up. “You mean I could
hesitantly asked. “He’s putting his hand to his mouth like he wants to smoke” said the psychic.
record your sermon? ”
“Oh, of course” said Suzie, “he needs a cigar. Herbie can never last more then a few
WE NOW KNOW WHERE HE WENT
hours without a cigar. I guess they don’t
Suzie was all alone. It was two months
have cigars up there. Did he say where he is
since her dear Herbie had passed, and she
or how I could get one to him?” questioned
just couldn’t seem to move on. “Listen here
Suzie urgently.
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October 2014
29 BE PART OF PIFFLE’S NEW BUSINESS DIRECTORY! Get your message out to the community all year round for as little as
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$ Knox Presbyterian Church
403 E Columbia St, New West
604.524.6712
The Rev. Richard Watson, Minster
/mo
CRAFTERS WANTED! Fraternal Order of Eagles Ladies Auxiliary #20 New Westminster Saturday, November 8th, 10–5:00 p.m. 707 12th Street, New Westminster $35/table ~ “People helping people.” Contact Marge Ashdown 604-521-8567
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Regular Sunday Service at 11am
johnashdown@piffle.ca
“Hmm”, said the psychic. “I can’t seem to get that question across to him. But then again,”
Everything you need for tonight
said the psychic after a brief pause, “he didn’t say anything about needing a lighter!”
BEHOLD Q: What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over? A: Doughnuts!
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GONE FOR A BREAK Q: What is brown, hairy, and wears sunglasses? A: A coconut on vacation.
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In democracy, it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism, it’s your count that votes.
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October 2014
Our small prices will leave you with a…
A SPECIAL DAY Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, “I bet you don’t know what day this is.” “Of course I do,” he indignantly answered, going out the door on his way the office. At 10 a.m. the doorbell rang, and when the woman opens the door, she was handed a box containing a dozen long-stemmed red roses. At 1 p.m. a foil-wrapped, two pound box of her favorite chocolates arrive. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn’t wait for her husband to come home. “First the flowers, then the candy, and then the dress,” she exclaimed. “I’ve never spent a more
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wonderful Groundhog Day in my whole life!”
NUTS Thinking that the civic candidate needed to show a more human side of himself, his committee advised him to visit an old age
LEGION NO.2
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October 2014
31
home. Walking into the room of an old man, with the cameras whirring, the nominee was surprised when the old man offered him some peanuts from a bowl on the table. “Thank you,” said the nominee after being offered more for the 3rd time, “why don’t you have some yourself?” “Oh, I can’t eat it” said the old man, “I don’t have any teeth.” “So why do you have them,” asked the confused candidate. “Oh, I like the chocolate around it,” was the reply.
IT’S DIFFICULT “The difficult thing with quotes on the internet is verifying them.” - John A. McDonald
GIVING THANKS Jack strode into ‘John’s Stable’ looking to buy a horse. “Listen here” said John, “I’ve got just the horse your looking for, the only thing is, he was trained by an interesting fellow. He doesn’t go and stop the usual way. The way to get him to stop is to scream ‘hey, hey’ the way to get him to go is to scream ‘Thank God.’ Jim nodded his head, “fine with me, can I take him for a test run?” Jim was having the time of his life this horse sure could run he thought to himself. Jim was speeding down the dirt road when he suddenly saw a cliff up ahead “Stop,” screamed Jim, but the horse kept on going. No matter how much he tried he could not remember the words to get it to stop. “Yo, yo,” screamed Jim but the horse just kept on speeding ahead. It was 5 feet from the cliff when Jim suddenly remembered “Hey, hey,” Jim screamed. The horse skidded to a halt just 1 inch from the cliff. Jim could not believe his good fortune, he looked up to the sky, raise his hands in the air, breathed a deep sigh of relief and said with conviction “Thank God.” Don’t join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects.
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