Piffle Magazine 2014-12

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YOUR DIABETES RESOURCE CENTRE

WE ARE OPEN Mon to Fri 9am – 6pm Sat 9am – 2:30pm Sun 9am – 1:30pm

981 Carnarvon St New Westminster

604-523-6767

DECEMBER 2014

|

YOUR COMMUNITY HUMOUR MAGAZINE

|

ISSUE 171

Mayor Wayne Wright: Twelve Years at the Helm See feature on P12

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Story and photos by Gabor Gasztonyi Printing

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Business Cards, Flyers, Brochures, Posters, Forms, Manuals T-shirts, Pens, Notepads, Trinkets T T

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December 2014

Peter Julian, MP Burnaby – New Westminster

Wishing you a very Merry Christmas and a joyous New Year!

Peter Julian’s Community Office: 7615 Sixth St, Burnaby, BC V3N 3M6

Please join me at my Annual Christmas Party Friday, December 12th 4:00PM – 7:00PM Nikkei Centre 6688 Southoaks Cres (off Kingsway @ Sperling) A donation of non-perishable food would be appreciated For more info: 604-775-5707

Phone: 604-775-5707 l Email: peter.julian.c1@parl.gc.ca l www.PeterJulian.ca

Sarge’s Word Search X W E Q C Q T Q R F G P C O V

K I Z A H D U A C O P R M L B

R N Y D R C B A F N D G R F C

T G N G I D T M Y P J N L X Z

N S A Z S U Q B I S S N E E P

I Q O Z T D A Z O I I G T V N

V W A G M Y Z C T A X D C X M

X C T W A A A I E H U T E C T

T N R F S T W N A T E K I T W

W C R E V I R K I K Y F B P N

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Locally Owned & Published! Fourth floor, 604 Columbia St New Westminster, BC V3M 1A5

Chris Sargent 604-525-9027

Owner & Publisher Email: publisher@piffle.ca

Verne Siebert 604-763-6304 Vic Leach 778-237-0052 John Ashdown 604-657-5600 Email: sales@piffle.ca Graphic Design: Cliff Blank Email: production@piffle.ca Photography: Gabor Gasztonyi

piffle.ca

Serving the Community of New Westminster Our office can assist with provincial government issues such as MSP, income assistance and provincial disability, WorkSafe, and ICBC.

Judy Darcy, MLA

EMAIL

judy.darcy.mla@leg.bc.ca PHONE 604-775-2101

Judy Darcy’s Constituency Office is located at 737 Sixth St, New Westminster, V3L 3C6

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December 2014

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December 2014

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SEE, I TOLD YOU IT WORKS During a dinner party, the hosts’ two little children entered the dining room totally nude and walked slowly around the table. The parents were so embarrassed that they pretended nothing was happening and kept the conversation going. The guests cooperated and also continued as if nothing extraordinary was happening.

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After going all the way around the room, the children left, and there was a moment of silence at the table, during which one child was heard to say, “You see, it is vanishing cream!”

THE SKYDIVER A skydiver is enjoying his free-fall, when he realizes that he has reached the altitude where he must open his parachute, he pulls the ripcord, but nothing happens. “No problem,” he says to himself, “I still have my emergency

Merry Christmas & Thank You for Your Support! SCOTT McINTOSH

chute.” So he pulls the ripcord on his emergency parachute, and once again, nothing

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this man is coming from or what he’s doing, but he says to himself, “I hope he can help me. If he can’t, then I’m in real trouble.” When the man gets close enough to him, the skydiver cups his hands and shouts, “Hey, do you know

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anything about parachutes?” The man coming up cups his hands and yells back, “No! Do you know anything about gas stoves?”

POLITE KNOCKS Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tank. Tank who? You’re welcome!

Thank you for the year s of suppor t! – Betty

New Westminster Community & Former City Councillor

Follow me on Twitter!

@BettyM13

Email: kandbmcintosh@shaw.ca Web: www.bettymcintosh.ca Q: Why does Santa have three gardens? A: So he can ‘ho ho ho’!


6

December 2014

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December 2014

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Outdoor BBQ, raffle, door prizes

HOMES FOR THE HOLIDAYS FUNDRAISER

7

therapy all for a good cause. The Queen’s Park Healthcare Foundation, with support from the New Westminster Heritage Preservation Society, is hosting its annual Homes for the Holidays fundraising event on December 7, 4:30 p.m. – 7:30 p.m. All proceeds benefi t Queen’s Park Care Centre. Items from the QPCC Gift Shop will be available for sale at several homes. Tickets are $20 and available online at www.qphf.org or at several locations including Royal City Colours, Brick and Mortar, Champagne Taste and Cadeaux Gifts and Home Embellishments.

TRADITIONAL VICTORIAN CHRISTMAS AT IRVING HOUSE Visit Irving House this holiday season and experience a traditional Victorian Christmas. Register for children’s heritage holiday craft programs, enjoy live music and caroling at the Christmas Cheer At Irving House musical series or bring some friends for a magnifi cent Victorian tea in period setting. Please call to register, 604.527.4640.

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December 2014

9

STOP BOTHERING THOSE PEOPLE A man died and went to The Judgment, they told him, “Before you meet with God, I should tell you… we’ve looked over your life,

PJ PATRICK

JOHNSTONE

and to be honest you really didn’t do anything particularly good or bad. We’re not really sure what to do with you. Can you tell us anything you did that can help us make a decision?” The newly arrived soul thought for a moment and replied, “Yeah, once I was driving along and came upon a person who was being harassed by a group of thugs. So I pulled over, got out a bat, and went up to the leader of the thugs. He was a big, muscular guy with a ring pierced through his lip. Well, I tore the

Thank you New Westminster for your support. I look forward to working on your behalf on the issues that matter.

ring out of his lip, and told him he and his gang had better stop bothering this guy or they would have to deal with me!” “Wow that’s impressive, “When did this happen?”

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“About three minutes ago,” came the reply.

THE LOUVRE A French man nearly got away with stealing a number of paintings from the Louvre. However, after planning the robbery and getting in and out and past security, he was captured only three blocks away when his Econoline ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied, “I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.”

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HOW DID YA DO THAT? A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. “You’ll get your chance in court,” said the Desk Sergeant. “No, no, no!” said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!”

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Q: What kind of motorbike does Santa ride? A: A Holly Davidson!


10

December 2014

NOT BAD

clean and take care of. I really don’t need the

There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her.

house, but thank you anyway.” Then she explained to her second son, “Son, the car is beautiful, it has everything

So son #1 bought her a 15-room mansion

you could ever want on it, but I don’t drive

thinking this would surely be the best any of

and I really don’t like that driver, so please

them could offer her.

return the car.”

Son #2 bought her a beautiful Mercedes

Next, she went to son number three and said,

with a chauffeur included thinking he would

“Son, I just want to thank you for that thoughtful

surely win her approval.

gift. The chicken was small, but delicious.”

Son #3 had to do something even better than these so he bought her a trained parrot. This parrot had been trained for 15 years to

I’M UP ANYHOW A man mentioned to his landlord about the

memorize the entire Bible. You could mention

tenants in the apartment over his. “Many

any verse in the Bible and the parrot could

a night they stamp on the floor and shout

quote it word for word. How useful his nearly

till midnight.” When the landlord asked if it

blind mother would find that!

bothered him, he replied, “Not really, for I

Well, the old lady went to the first son and said, “Son, the house is just gorgeous but

usually stay up and practice my trumpet till about that time most every night anyway.”

it’s really much too big for me. I only live in one room, and it’s much too large for me to

BY ANY OTHER NAME Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly

PICTOGRAPH BY ROSS HOOD

Puz zle #14

The principle of this puzzle is to shade, in a logical way, boxes in the grid to discover a picture solution. Numbers on the left show the sets of boxes to be shaded in the

conversation when one of the men asked the other,” Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?” “Outstanding,” Fred replied. “They taught us all the latest psychological techniques:

corresponding line. Numbers above the grid show the sets of boxes to be shaded

visualization, association, etc. It was great.”

in the corresponding column. There is always at least one clear box separating

“That’s great! And what was the name of the

the shaded boxes. TIP: It is just as important to discover which boxes are clear.

clinic?” Fred went blank. He thought and thought,

This issue’s hint: “Need some shoes?”

but couldn’t remember. Then a smile broke across

Solution to November 2014  |  Puz zle #13

PICTOGRAPH

BY ROSS HOOD

Find the solution in the next issue of Piffle. To advertise, call 604-525-9027 or email sales@piffle.ca today!


December 2014

11

his face and he asked, “What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?” “You mean a rose?” “Yes, that’s it!” He turned to his wife, “Rose,

Piffle’s MATH MADNESS

what was the name of that memory clinic?”

THE ROMANTIC WIFE An elderly couple, who had just learned how to send text messages on their mobile phones. The wife was a romantic type and the husband was more of a no-nonsense guy. One afternoon the wife went out to meet a friend for coffee. She decided to send her husband a romantic text message and she wrote: “If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. The husband texted back to her: “I’m on the toilet. Please advise.”

SIMON FRASER’S REVENGE A famous scientist developed a formula to bring statues to life. He went to the waterfront to try it out on a statue of Simon Fraser. After application, Simon Fraser began to

Try to fill in the missing numbers. Use the numbers 1 through 9 to complete the equations. Each number is only used once. Each row is a math equation. Each column is a math equation. Remember that multiplication and division are performed before addition and subtraction. Find solution in the next Piffle!

Piffle’s NUMBER BLOCKS

move and soon was completely alive. The scientist asked, “What’s the first thing you’ll do, Simon?” He answered while drawing his pistol “I’m going to shoot about a million pigeons!”

POSTAL WORKERS ALWAYS GET THE BLAME While working in a post office, a lady barged in complaining that she got home to find a note from the mail man saying that he tried to deliver a package but nobody was home. “My husband was home all day,” she fumed. After giving her the package I heard her tell somebody “Oh, I’m so excited, my husbands new hearing aids!”

Try to fill in the missing numbers. The missing numbers are integers between 0 and 9. The numbers in each row add up to totals to the right. The numbers in each column add up to the totals along the bottom. The diagonal lines also add up the totals to the right. Find solution in the next Piffle!

Q: What do you call a cat in the desert? A: Sandy Claws!


Fe at u r e story

Mayor Wayne Wright Twelve Years at the Helm Mayor Wayne Wright and dignitaries at the opening of Honor House in 2011.

Story and photos by Gabor Gasztonyi

S

omeone once said you should never begin a piece of writing with the weather. I believe his name was Kurt Vonnegut. I am going to break that rule and say, November 23rd was a real wet day here in New Westminster as I drove along Royal Avenue to City Hall to interview Mayor Wayne Wright. As I turned into city hall, I saw Wayne’s Ford Bronco parked in front in its usual spot. I noticed there was a slight bit of rust on one of the fenders. I thought to myself I probably will not see that truck there anymore as Wayne our incumbent mayor of twelve years was not elected in last week’s civic election. This truck symbolized a lot about Wayne and the way he presented himself and conducted business. He was a no frill, populist leader who was not afraid to make decisions. Most of them turned out to be good ones. As I came into City Hall from the parking lot folks were scurrying out quickly hoping not to get wet in the downpour.

I went up to Wayne’s office on the second floor and knocked on his door. After a few moments, he greeted me with a big smile and shook my hand. “Glad you made it. Here have a seat,” he said. “Sure Wayne, but first I have to get a photograph.” “Alright where do you want me?” he said. His office was spacious, and I could see he was already packing some of his belongings away. “How about in that chair?” I said. I went on and photographed Wayne and asked him about his family. Wayne grew up in a small community in Windsor Ontario. He has two brothers Rusty and Neil and a sister Beverly and a partner, Enza, living in Australia. His siblings are still back East, and he hopes to visit them this spring. His daughter and two grandson’s 16 and 20 live in Coquitlam. They are both lacrosse players and now play for the Adanacs. “Oh well, the Salmonbellies are still my team.” Wayne played baseball and basketball both in high school in his youth growing up in Windsor. “We even won a few trophies back then. The coach was glad to have me on the team for my positive attitude and spirit,” Wayne remarked. That attitude

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served Wayne well in life both in business and in politics. “You never get anything right being negative. I don’t think the word negative is in my vocabulary,” he said. “My dad Jack Wright Jr. just died a couple of years ago at 97. He was vibrant nearly to the very end. My grandfather Jack Wright lived till 92 and stayed with us in our home in Windsor. My goal is to surpass my dad and make it to 100,” he chuckled. Wayne went on to describe the multicultural nature of Windsor in the days he grew up there. His dad was a sergeant in the Canadian Army, and their neighbors in Windsor were of Italian and German descent. The neighbor right next door was an American air force pilot during WWII. He was an African American man who also flew for the Canadian Air force. He remembered that the pilot would always buy ice cream for the kids in the neighborhood. To Wayne he was a real hero. “It was a real melting pot and we always found a way of getting along,” Wayne said. He went on to describe early mornings in the winter when he would begin walking to school and as he got closer the group got larger and larger until the group numbered ten or fifteen. He also remarked

Mayor Wright in his office.

how terribly cold it was in those days growing up in Windsor. “As kids, we always played baseball in the back yard, and kids from down the street always joined us,” he said. “I always saw lots of kids coming out of condos here in the City and thought it was important to fi nd them a place where they can play baseball and street hockey. That is one of the reasons we developed the Pier Park. It gives kids a place where they could learn to ride a bike and get out in the fresh air,” he said. “Did you have a special relationship with your dad?” I asked. “Yes I kept in touch with him daily as Mayor and got his opinion on a lot of the issues I was dealing with. He even had continued on page 14

“Let’s Get Ahead Together”

Roveen Kandola

Real Estate Transaction Specialist

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14

December 2014

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his own email address, and we emailed back and forth,” Wayne said. “I am sure he was very proud of you.” I remarked. “Yes, well you are always a kid in the eyes of your parents,” Wayne said. I went on to ask Wayne what his more important accomplishments were as Mayor considering such monumental changes to the City as the Anvil Centre, New Westminster Pier Park, and many others. “If I look at the big picture it has to be the turnaround of the city itself. The City did not have a great reputation in those days even for the people living here. Today we have cleaned up most of everything. We have done new buildings; we have taken crime off the streets; we had redone the waterfront and built new old age homes; we helped the homeless. The people of the city are now proud to say they are from New Westminster. Muni Evers got it started with the development of the residential area of the Quay. I saw my role as developing the other infrastructure of the city. I think now it is one of the nicest cities in the province.” Wayne went on to say that, the office tower at the Anvil Centre will help to provide an increased tax base for the city and help to make the running of the Centre revenue neutral. He also spoke about the Patullo Bridge and remarked that the needs of Surrey and the provincial government are a big part of the issue. A tunnel he said is not out of the question. He originally favored a bridge funnelling traffic into Coquitlam and that over the next 100 years that extra cost would be minor. I asked Wayne what his typical day was like at the City. He said he would arrive at 8:30 usually sometimes earlier and first meet with the city CEO and go over what was important that week and agree on a plan. Instead of getting a lot of mail anymore, he noted that he would only get a couple of letters a day, however he would receive over 100 emails related to city business each day. He always sought out the advice of experts in their field to help him make decisions. continued from page 13

To advertise, call 604-525-9027 or email sales@piffle.ca today!


December 2014

15

“Once I knew the right course to take I would make a decision and move on. I would very seldom put something off,” he said. “What will you miss the most when you leave the office in the next couple of days?” I asked. “There is no doubt I will miss the people. I am with people constantly. Not only with individuals but with groups and committees. There is also a lot of development coming in the future. There’s enough in the bucket at the moment , a nd I am proud to say I have had my hand in most projects since their inception,” he said. I went on to ask Wayne if he had any advice for new people entering city politics in New Westminster. He remarked that the election brought out some strong people, and that’s its important for the city to have a balanced council. It’s also important for these new folks to begin working today in readiness for the next election. In terms of his future, I asked Wayne what he thought was in the cards. “I think I am a pretty good spokesman for the City of New Westminster. First, I will attend to some personal business beginning next week. Then I hope in the future to do more for the city and champion many of the important things in our community,” he said. As I was beginning to leave, Wayne went and picked up a book from behind his desk. “Here I’ve got a gift for you. It is the Salmonbellies book. I hope you like it. They are my favorite team.” I thanked him for the book shook his hand, and as I left his office to go back into the rainy afternoon, he said, “Goodbye and good luck.” end

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ARIES: The travel bug could hit during this time or your mind will be on distant places. Communications with relatives and neighbors goes extremely well. TAURUS: Intensity within all relationships will increase for you during this time. Money will be attracted to you so a good time to ask for that loan if need be. GEMINI: You will be able to express yourself with ease towards partners, co-workers and even enemies. A good time to make peace and not war. CANCER: Matters relating to work and your duties go extremely well during this time. Avoid fatty foods and concentrate on a healthy lifestyle. LEO: All matters relating to fun and entertainment are completely in your favour. A good time to discuss those agreements within your work or profession. VIRGO: Your in a quiet mood during the holidays and appreciate congenial people around you. Overindulgence with food and drink may cause digestive problems. LIBRA: You may find you have a considerable amount of love in your everyday life. You will be more sensitive to beauty and your general surroundings. SCORPIO: Financial opportunities arise but you may find yourself spending what you receive. Borrowing money should not be difficult. SAGITTARIUS: Others will be pleased with your mannerism’s and expressions during this time. You’ve run out of fight and just aim to please; just don’t be manipulative. CAPRICORN: You may be called upon to look after a loved one during this time. Your forbearance and grace in handling tensions will bring rewards and respect. AQUARIUS: Group activities and friends will play a huge role around the holidays. Friendship brings love and love brings friendship. Just don't overdue it. PISCES: Favorable circumstance on the professional front brings rewards mid month. Love may arise with someone older or on the job front.

Q: What do you call Father Christmas in the beach? A: Sandy Clause!


16

December 2014

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604.562.4637 • laramoving.ca AUTO WASH STARTING AT

$6

“Thank you voters of New Westminster for your support over the years. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.” – James Janzen, School Trustee To advertise, call 604-525-9027 or email sales@piffle.ca today!


December 2014

17

BREAKFAST • LUNCH • DINNER • DAILY SPECIALS

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Jade Luu

May I say Thanks to Salvatore for letting me work for 10 years at Panorama Hair?

604-524-8118 Open 7 days a week!

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Cell: 778. 883. 0278 Cell: 604. 220. 3958

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YOUR TROPIC SNORKELLING CENTRE!

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18

December 2014

THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT Eddy was just a regular guy. Except for the fact that he was an only child and the

“Now darling, would you like the soup first or the salad?” questioned Dorothy. “Umm I guess I’ll take the soup.” He

fact that his billionaire father was breathing

responded. After a whole meal of one

his last. Since Eddy was a soon to be

endearing term after another, their guest Bob

billionaire it only made sense that he should

couldn’t contain his curiosity any longer. Bob

have a woman to share his riches with. Eddy

snuck into the kitchen and asked, “Dorothy

approached his childhood crush. “Hey Sandra,

do you always talk to your husband like

I may look like a regular guy, but I’m soon

that?”

gonna be a billionaire! Do you wanna come home with me?”

“Bob, I’ll be honest with you,” Dorothy replied. “It’s been five years now, I just

“Sure thing” Sandra replied, “I would love to come home with you.” And that’s the story

can’t remember his name, and I am just too embarrassed to ask him!”

how Sandra became Eddie’s Stepmother.

MY DARLING, MY SUGAR “Sugar, why don’t you sit down by the table and we’ll start supper.” said Dorothy to her Husband of 50 years.

PIFFLE PUBLISHER AND THE DOCTOR A local magazine publisher is terribly overweight, so his doctor puts him on a diet. “I want you to eat regularly for two days,

“Sure thing,” said her husband settling himself down.

then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks,” the doctor ordered. “The next

Piffle’s MATH MADNESS

Subscription Form Name Address

City Province Phone Email

SOLUTION FROM THE PREVIOUS PIFFLE MAGAZINE

Postal

❑ 1 Year ($50 + $2.50 TAX)* ❑ New ❑ Renewal ❑ Send me the FREE digital version too!

Piffle’s NUMBER BLOCKS

Subscription Start M M / Y Y Y Y Make payments to “Sargent’s Publishing” Piffle Subscription Manager 4th Floor, 604 Columbia St New Westminster, BC V3M 1A5 *Subscription rate has increased due to Canada Post’s announced increase in stamp prices.

To advertise, call 604-525-9027 or email sales@piffle.ca today!

SOLUTION FROM THE PREVIOUS PIFFLE MAGAZINE


December 2014

19

time I see you, you’ll have lost at least five pounds.” When the publisher returns, he’s lost nearly 20 pounds. “Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor said. “Did you follow my instructions?” The publisher nods, “I’ll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day.” “From hunger, you mean?” the doc questioned. “No, from all that skipping.”

HOUSEWORK My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

THE LOAN ARRANGER One day while at her job as a bank loan officer, Patty Black, had a frog hop onto her desk and say, “I would like to apply for a lily-pad improvement loan.” Patty looked

The Tale of the Spinster Who Loved The World’s Tallest Tin Soldier © Gail Norcross There once was a spinster from New Westminster who loved The World’s Tallest Tin Soldier; he ignored her advances and come hither glances till one day he finally told her she might have a chance to have a romance with The World’s Tallest Tin Soldier but their future together would depend on the weather as Hell must first freeze over. So she crossed her fingers, her eyes and her toes and watched the Weather Channel; she rejected the highs, she rejoiced at the lows, but the Global Warming Panel made her question her usage of time and was she using it well making a career out of waiting to hear of the first ever cold snap in Hell.

incredulously at the frog and said, “I’m sorry, we don’t loan money to frogs.” To which the frog replied, “I have collateral,” as he handed her a small ceramic trinket. Not wanting to be impolite, Patty said, “I don’t know. I’ll have to talk to the bank manager.” She walked back to the manager’s office and said, “There is a frog out here, asking

So she cancelled her cable, set her table, and cooked herself a meal of meat and potatoes and sun-dried tomatoes and consumed it with such zeal she forgot her Tin Soldier, love unrequited, and her wish for temperatures colder ~ which just goes to prove the power of food to bring a spinster closure when her heart has been cracked and her brain hijacked by The World’s Tallest Tin Soldier!

for a lily-pad improvement loan, and this trinket is all he has for collateral.” The bank manager picked up the trinket and looked at it

Gail Norcross has been rhyming obsessively for most of her adult life, likely the repercussion of a concussion suffered in her youth. Her poem is not autobiographical.

carefully. Then smiling he turned to Patty and said, “Why it’s a knick-knack, Patty Black. Give the frog a loan.”

THAT’S WHAT I WANT “This little computer,” said the a sales clerk, “will do half your job for you.” The senior manager studying the machine made his decision; “Fine, I’ll take two.”

POET’S CORNER with Poet Laureate New Westminster CANDICE JAMES

New West Poets: please submit your “New West” poems for this column to candicejames@shaw.ca or call 778-322-1131 for info.

Q: What does Santa do with fat elves? A: He sends them to an Elf Farm!


20

December 2014

he hell they're saying

aduts between the age of 50- 75 who are frustrated oyed by the problems caused by mild to moderate hearing lloss. de high quality options of discreet to invisible amplif To advertise, call 604-525-9027 or email sales@pie.ca today!


December 2014

21

Sapperton’s Specialty

HOLIDAY FIRE SAFETY TIPS

CHRISTMAS TREES

• When purchasing an artificial tree, look for the label “Fire Resistant”. Although the label does not mean the tree won’t catch fire, it does indicate the tree will resist burning and should extinguish quicker than if it isn’t. • When purchasing a live tree, check for freshness. A fresh tree’s needles are hard to pull from branches and when bent between your fingers, needles do not break. Also look at the trunk butt of a fresh tree; it should be sticky with resin. • When setting up the tree, ensure it is placed well away from fireplaces and radiators or base board heaters. Because heated rooms dry up live trees rapidly, be sure to keep the base of the trunk in water at all times. • Place the tree out of the way of foot traffic and do not block doorways.

LIGHTS & ELECTRICAL

• Indoors or outside, always use CSA approved lights. Check each set of lights, new or old, for broken or cracked sockets, frayed or bare wires, or loose connections, and throw out the damaged sets. • Use no more than three standard-size sets of lights per extension cord. • Never use electric lights on a metallic as they may pose an electrocution hazard. • Fasten outdoor lights securely to trees, walls, or other firm supports to protect them from wind damage. Use only INSULATED STAPLES, not nails or tacks to hold strings in place. Or, run strings of lights through hooks specifically designed for that use. • For added electric-shock protection, plug outdoor electric lights and decorations into circuits protected by ground fault circuit interrupters (GFCIs).

DECORATIONS

• Use only non-combustible or flame resistant materials to trim a tree. Choose tinsel or artificial icicles of plastic or non-leaded metals. Leaded materials are hazardous if ingested by children. • NEVER use lighted candles on a tree or near other evergreens (such as a mantel decoration piece). • In homes with younger children, take special care to avoid decorations that are sharp or breakable. Keep trimmings with small, removable parts out of the reach to avoid having a child swallow or inhale the smaller pieces. Avoid trimmings that resemble candy or food that may tempt a child to eat them.

HOLIDAY ENTERTAINING

• Test your smoke alarms and tell your guests about your home fire escape plan. • Keep children and pets away from lit candles. • Keep matches and lighters up high in a locked cabinet. • Stay in the kitchen while cooking. • Ask smokers to smoke outside. Remind smokers to keep their smoking materials with them so young children do not touch them. • Don’t drink and drive or let your guests drink and drive. Make sure you plan ahead and have a designated driver, arrange for a cab, or plan on having your guests stay with you. • There’s more to responsible drinking… with all the festive cheer this time of year, keep a close eye on anyone attempting to cook or smoke while under the influence of alcohol. Alcohol is all too often a common factor in many fatal fires.

Your New Westminster Fire & Rescue Services cares about you and your safety! If you require further information, please visit our website at: www.newwestcity.ca or call the Fire Prevention Division at 604-519-1004.

SHERBROOKE ST E COLUMBIA

To ensure a Merry Christmas and a Fire Safe Holiday, the New Westminster Fire & Rescue Services would like to offer the following Fire Safety Tips:

420 E COLUMBIA ST, NEW WEST Near R.C. HOSPITAL Across from FRESH SLICE PIZZA

RC HOSPITAL

Support Local Business! DECEMBER SPECIALS DVDs 2 FOR 1 100s of Items 50% OFF Must See Store

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Attention Be the master of your own

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• Health and wellness industry • Product will be the next household appliance

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Q: What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck? A: A Christmas Quacker!


22

December 2014

Nevada Vancouver-Laughlin 13 Day Casino Tour Single $709.00 - Double $615.00 - Triple $499.00 - Quad $399.00

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www.tourhero.ca

THE PICK POCKET A pick pocket was pronounced guilty and sentenced to 8 months jail term with an option of $200 fine by the judge. His defense lawyer knowing that his client could not pay the fine, pleaded with the judge asking; ?Your honor, my client can only afford $50, but if you allow him a few minutes in the crowd?

TOO HOT It’s just too hot to wear clothes today,” complained a man to his wife as he stepped out of the shower. “Honey, what do you think the neighbours would say if I mowed the lawn like this?” She replied. “Probably that I married you for your money.”

WILLIAM A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly behaved 3 year-old grandson. It’s obvious to her that he has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets in the sweet aisle, biscuits in the biscuit aisle; and

How do we know that the Three Wise Men were also Firefighters?

for fruit, cereal and pop in the other aisles. Meanwhile, Granddad is working his way around, saying in a controlled voice, “Easy, William, we won’t be long, easy, boy.” Another outburst, and she hears the granddad calmly say, “It’s okay, William, just a

To advertise, call 604-525-9027 or email sales@piffle.ca today!


December 2014

23

couple more minutes and we’ll be out of here. Hang in there, boy.” At the checkout, the little terror is throwing items out of the cart, and Granddad says again in a controlled voice, “William, William, relax buddy, don’t get upset. We’ll be home in five minutes; stay cool, William.” Very impressed, the woman goes outside where the grandfather is loading his groceries and the boy into the car. She said to the elderly gentleman, “It’s none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don’t know how you did it. That whole time, you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying things would be okay. William is very lucky to have you as his grandpa.” “Thanks,” said the grandfather, “but I’m William… the little fellow’s name is Kevin.”

THE GOLD WATCH Bill: Where did you get that gold watch Joe? Joe: I won it in a race. Bill: How many people participated in it? Joe: Three, a policeman, the owner of the watch, and me!!

A GOOD CHRISTIAN HOME After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car, his father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, “That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home and I wanted to stay with you guys.”

WAKE UP A Mouse Trap Placed On Top Of Your Alarm Clock Will Prevent You From Rolling Over And Going Back To Sleep After You Hit The Snooze Button. Q: Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas? A: Santa Jaws.


24

December 2014

10% OFF*

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Piffle Advertising for One Source Customers

Printing

We make your home beautiful!

Design With Confidence

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SALES:

604 521-1295

334 12th Street New Westminster

onesourceproduction.com

To advertise, call 604-525-9027 or email sales@piffle.ca today!


December 2014

25

Q: What says Oh Oh Oh? A: Santa walking backwards!


26

5

December 2014

$ OFF Mount Calvary Lutheran Church 701 - 6th Street, New Westminster Divine Service & Sunday School: 11:00 am Sundays Rev. James K. Kim Saturday, FREE CONCERT Dec 6, FEATURING TWO GRAND PIANOS 3pm ANTHONY LEE & GALINA MANNHEIM Telephone: 604-521-2007 | Wheelchair Accessible

MIN. $20 OF

SERVICES*

APRIL NAIL SPA 778.397.0185

OPEN 7 DAYS / WEEK

989 Carnarvon Street New Westminster, BC mary@aprilnailspa.com

Mon-Fri: 10 am – 7 pm Saturday: 10 am – 6 pm Sunday: 10 am – 4 pm

* Only one coupon per visit. Valid on minimum $20 purchase of services. Cannot be combined with other offers. Expires December 31, 2014.

www.aprilnailspa.com

We can’t wait to host your next event.

Sapperton Pensioners’ Hall

can accommodate up to 275 people and is perfect for weddings, dances, dinners, fundraisers, birthday parties, lunches, reunions, memorials, craft markets, filming, meetings, and displays.

• 14' x 25' stage, P/A system, upright piano • 3,500 sq. ft. of open area upstairs with a hardwood floor

• Downstairs has 3,500 sq. ft., linoleum floor, kitchen facilities

• Parking for 30 cars, close to Sapperton SkyTrain Station

• Less than 5 minutes from Pattullo Bridge or Hwy #1 exit

S A PPERTON P ENSIONERS ’ H A LL

318 Keary St, New Westminster • Call 604-522-0280 to book your space today To advertise, call 604-525-9027 or email sales@piffle.ca today!


December 2014

27

ORINGpeTsIPthSe :bottom of MIKE’SodFruLO g that scra g

Use a go . Having a ru absorbs water the shoes and ant, the inside side is import r the outside and in leng th to cove in ft 12 9– t as of dirt being at le ce the amount du re to s ep st first 3–4 and water.

Grandson Liam & His Assistant Mike Peterson

Seasons Greetings from Our Family TO Yours 812 edinburgh st, New Westminster, BC t: 604-839-7751 F: 604-540-7771 e: info@petersonfloor.ca

Q: What goes Ho Ho Whoosh, Ho Ho Whoosh? A: Santa going through a revolving door!


28

December 2014

Everything you need for tonight Your downtown New West CHRISTMAS STORE Come and SHOP IN COMFORT! From Christmas decorations, baking accessories, stocking stuffers for all ages to gift wrap and UNIQUE GIFT ITEMS We are a LOCAL

• Fresh organic produce • Prime selection of organic meats • Healthy snacks • Health and vitamin products

Lowest prices in town Guaranteed!

COMMUNITY STORE that

What’s Organic? or·gan·ic (adjective) \or-ga-nik\ Involving the use of food produced with the use of feed or fertilizer of plant or animal origin without employment of chemically formulated fertilizers, growth stimulants, antibiotics, or pesticides.

If you find our products at a lower price, bring in the proof and we’ll beat it by 5%.

Meat, fruit, produce, dry goods and so much more...

offer a unique shopping experience that you will

421 Sixth Street, New Westminster 604-553-3421 www.newwestorganic.ca

enjoy shopping with us

PICK UP

HERE!

Dear Piffle people… 811 Carnarvon St, New Westminster (Opposite of The Old Spaghetti Factory)

www.dollarstore.ca Freedomfire Full Gospel

BE PART OF PIFFLE’S NEW BUSINESS DIRECTORY!

International Ministries

❖ International Ministries ❖ Youth and Children’s Sunday School ❖ School of Leaders / G12 Vision / Encounter God Retreats ❖ Weekly Home Cell Meetings

Get your message out to the community all year round for as little as

43 6th St,

New Westminster

64 8th St New Westminster, BC V3M 3P1 Email: freedomfireband@telus.net revival@telus.net Office: 604-558-5824 Cell: 604-877-0662

The October issue of your MATH MADNESS contained an error in the last COLUMN bottom number. It showed 12 as the total that the column should come to when in fact, IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN: 40

OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK 9:30AM – 6:30PM

604.525.4566

renbooks@telus.net renaissancebookstore.com

25

$

/mo

Contact John Ashdown

604-657-5600 johnashdown@piffle.ca

To advertise, call 604-525-9027 or email sales@piffle.ca today!

Knox Presbyterian Church

403 E Columbia St, New West

604.524.6712

The Rev. Richard Watson, Minster

Regular Sunday Service at 11am


December 2014

29

Zahra’s

Located in Uptown European Trained Professional Colouring

Call us today at 604-525-5756 446 6th st, New Westminster

Ultimate Hair Design Carolyn B. writes… “I’ve been seeing Zahra for a few years now and truly would not go anywhere else. The salon is exceptionally clean and decorated beautifully. Zahra does great work and is such a kind and welcoming person. Thank you Zahra!” Busy Salon. Chair Rentals Available.

www.zahrashairdesign.com

Zahra’s

Ultimate Hair Design

Retouch Colour & Cut. Reg $95.00, now

25% off

Q: Why does Santa go down the chimney on Christmas Eve? A: Because it ‘soots’ him!


30

December 2014

THE SALVATION ARMY

WANTS YOU!

Honestly driven. 604-517-1230 oktirenw@shaw.ca 325A 12th Street New Westminster

Check out our seasonal specials!

One of the best gifts you can give this Christmas… is the gift of your time. The Salvation Army is looking for enthusiastic, responsible individuals to assist with their 2012 Christmas Fundraising activities in New Westminster, Coquitlam, Port Moody and Port Coquitlam. Volunteer as a family-Volunteer with a friend-Volunteer as a staff team-Volunteer as a community group. Give 2 hours, 4 hours, a day, or join up for several shifts throughout the campaign.

The Christmas Kettle Campaign runs November 15th to December 24th, 2012 Darci Johnston at 604-521-2421 or email newwest_kettles@shaw.ca for more info.

ANDREW LOCHHEAD, GM

Because the came from afar

LEGION EGIO ON N NO.2 NO.2

DECEMBER ENTERTAINMENT

DEC 5 & 6

CLASSIC REWIND

631 SIXTH STREET, NEW WESTMINSTER

DEC 11–13

KARAOKE WITH CAL DONNELLY

MEAT DRAW BINGO & KARAOKE with CAL DONNELLY every THURSDAY 8–11PM MEAT DRAWS $50/50 DRAWS FRIDAY & SATURDAYS

DEC 19 & 20

RAY O’TOOLE DEC 26 & 27

BOB MARLOW DEC 31

LONE STRANGERS

Royal Canadian Legion No.2, 604-522-4522

MEMBERS & GUESTS WELCOME! To advertise, call 604-525-9027 or email sales@piffle.ca today!


December 2014

31

FIGHTING FIRE When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

INCOMPLETE A man is incomplete until he is married… then he is finished.

RUNNING BEAR Two guys are hiking in the forest when they suddenly come across a big Grizzly bear! The one guy takes off his hiking boots and puts on some running shoes! His friend says to him “You’re crazy! There’s no use, do you know how fast Grizzlies are, you’ll never be able to out run it!” and the guy says, “I only have to out run you!”

THRUST With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.

Do You Have a RETIREMENT PLAN? Do you know what RESIDUAL INCOME is?

RETIREMENT

How many dollars do you think you AHEAD? need to live comfortably when you want to retire? $1,000, $2,000, $3,000 or $5,000... If you picked $5,000/mth, with today’s low interest rates at approx 3%... You would need $2,000,000 saved in the bank!

Are you looking for a solution to this problem? Please contact me for a free info-session on how you can earn a residual income so you can retire. I look forward to sharing my plan with you! Let’s have a chat, call me at: 604-838-0312

BREAKFAST • LUNCH • DINNER • DAILY SPECIALS

604-524-8118 Open 7 days a week!

636 Sixth Street Mon to Sat 7am – 8pm New Westminster Sun/Holidays 8am – 8pm

wafflehouserestaurant.com

Q: Who is Santa’s favorite singer? A: Elf-is Presley!


inTeRnATionAL ViLLAGe • African Fashion mALL in TinseLToWn • African Sheabutter

1117-88 W Pender st, Vancouver • African Black Soaps next to the stadium/Chinatown • Musical Instruments skyTrain station and more!

MONDAY-SATURDAY NOON TO 8:00PM SUNDAY NOON to 7:00PM Anytime by appointment • Two hours free parking

604-568-8456

www.touchofafrica.ca NEW WESTMINSTER CLEAN-UP & RECYCLING PROGRAM

Helping to keep our City clean!

• COMMERCIAL & RESIDENTIAL • YARD MAINTENANCE • PRESSURE WASHING • SNOW REMOVAL • RUBBISH REMOVAL • DEMOLITION • CONCRETE/ASPHALT COATING

Lunch Specials EVERYDAY (both Chinese and W estern dishes)

441 East Columbia Street New Westminster, BC

604-521-1871

10% OFF for pick-up orders over $15.00

FREE DELIVERY everyday starting at 4:30pm (within a 5km distance & a minimum order of $18.00)

JAMES 604-544-0391

ANDREW 778-387-4460

NEWWESTCLEANUP.CA FREE ESTIMATES SAME DAY SERVICE SENIOR DISCOUNT

OPEN 6 DAYS A WEEK 11:00am – 10:00pm Closed Tuesdays


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