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May 2015 | YOUR COMMUNITY HUMOUR MAGAZINE | Issue 176
Irving House Celebrates 150th Anniversary Rob McCullough, Manager Cultural Services in the Irving House front Parlor.
See feature on P12
Photo by Gabor Gasztonyi
20
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2
May 2015
Peter Julian, MP Burnaby – New Westminster Serving Our Community
Need help with federal issues such as E.I., Income Tax, Canada Pension and Canada Student Loan? Please contact Peter Julian’s Community office for assistance. Peter Julian’s Community Office: 7615 Sixth Street, Burnaby, BC V3N 3M6
Phone: 604-775-5707 l Email: peter.julian.c1@parl.gc.ca l www.PeterJulian.ca
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Judy Darcy’s Constituency Office is located at 737 Sixth St, New Westminster, V3L 3C6
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May 2015
3
FRATERNAL ORDER OF EAGLES | AERIE # 20 | NEW WESTMINSTER
Mother’s Day Special ~ May 9 Beautiful Hanging Basket Sale 8:00 a.m.–5:00 p.m. $25.00 each Pancake, Sausage’s & Egg Breakfast 9:00–11:00 a.m. $5.00 (includes juice, coffee or tea) Terminal Pub Parking Lot
Enter Westbound off Stewardson Way or rear entrance off 11th and Royal New Westminster, BC Now is the Time to register for our Cherry Tomato Growing contest. Buy a “baby plant” then join our “green thumbs” and have lots of fun nurturing your plant. Includes wind up Barbeque in September. Prizes for most tomatoes and tallest plants.
Contact Marge at 604-838-2675 or email marjorieam@shaw.ca for order pick-up on May 9th.
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May 2015
Ken McIntosh Rod Drown Researchers
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WOOF-WOOF A mother mouse and a baby mouse are walking along when suddenly a cat attacks them. The mother mouse shouts “BARK!” and the cat runs away. “See,” the mother mouse says to her baby. “Now do you see why it’s important to learn a foreign language?”
ARRESTING MOM A police recruit was asked during the exam. “What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?” He answered, “Call for backup.”
MOTHER’S ADVICE Mother to daughter advice: Cook a man a fish and you feed him for a day. But teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend.
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May 2015
5
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May 2015
Serving New Westminster since 2003. We thank all of you for your continued support of the last nine years!
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May 2015
7
ROYAL CITY GOGOS GRANDMA’S ATTIC GARAGE SALE Saturday, May 2 Unifor Hall 326 12 St, New Westminster Gogo is a Zulu word for grandmother. The Royal City Gogo’s is a group of New Westminster area women ranging in age from 50 to 80+. They are united by their concern for African grandmothers and the children in their care. They host several fundraising events each year. Contact: 604-525-4149 www.royalcitygogos.org www.grandmotherscampaign.org
BEAUTIFUL HANGING BASKET SALE Saturday May 9, 8:30 a.m.–4:00 p.m. 10" basket filled with 2' cascading plants $25.00 A wonderful Mother’s Day gift! The Terminal Pub parking lot, 115 12 St, New Westminster A fundraiser of the Fraternal Order of Eagles Ladies Auxiliary #20 raising funds for B.C. Cancer Foundation, Camp Goodtimes, Camp Kakhemala, Valley Therapeutic Equestrian Association, Pacifi c Assist Dogs Society, BC Special Olympics, Monarch Place, Wings, Greater Vancouver food bank, Senior Services Society, The Kidney Foundation, Canuck Place, Union Gospel Mission, Honour House, Alzheimer Society, Diabetes Association of Canada, BC & Yukon Division, Heart & Stroke Foundation, Muscular Dystrophy Association, BC Children’s Hospital, Autism, Lou Gehrig’s Disease and Crohn’s. PEOPLE HELPING PEOPLE! For more information and to pre-order call Marge Ashdown 604-838-2675 or Vera Gjestrum 604-520-1187.
20TH ANNUAL QUEEN’S PARK GARAGE SALE
Meet at ‘SARGE’, the Tin Soldier adjacent to the Fraser River Discovery Centre and the River Market. It’s free and accessible to all ages and abilities. For information and to register, call 604-669-7887 or email wendy.lee@fnwdivision.ca.
AUNT LEAH’S PLACE OPEN HOUSE May 21, 3:30 p.m.-7:30 p.m. 816 20 St, New Westminster The community is invited to stop by to see their new offi ce space and learn about what services this charity provides. Aunt Leah’s Place is a registered charity that, for more than 25 years, has been helping kids in foster care and teen moms achieve a better future by providing guidance, supported housing, job training and coaching in essential skills. They believe every young person deserves to feel safe, cared for and have a sense of belonging. Phone 604-525-1204, email cdunn@auntleahs.org or visit www.auntleahs.org.
ARTISM – ART WORKSHOPS FOR ATYPICAL LEARNERS Adolescent & Adult Workshops: Tuesdays, artism 6:00 p.m.-7:30 p.m. Preschool Ages: Saturdays, 10:00 a.m.-11:00 a.m. 100 Braid St, New Westminster Artism is a series of art workshops located at 100 Braid St Studios in New Westminster. Artism’s focus is to instruct individuals with atypical physical and cognitive abilities in an inclusive and supportive environment. Artism workshops include:
May 9, 9:00 a.m.-4:00 p.m. Queen’s Park Neighbourhood
• Professional instruction
JOIN YOUR FAMILY DOCTOR, GET WALKING!
• Creative expression
The New Westminster Healthier Community Partnership Committee wants to remind you of the importance of physical activity to better health and to provide you with information about an opportunity to take that all important first step.
• Social interaction • Youth and adult curriculum
Saturday, May 9, 2015 Registration: 9:15 a.m.–10:00 a.m. Walk: 10:00 a.m.
Visit www.artism.ca / workshops for upcoming workhops or email support@artism.ca for more info.
• Positive behaviour support
• Small class sizes
MON TO FRI 9AM-6PM | SAT 9AM-2:30PM | SUN 9AM-1:30PM
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May 2015
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Q: What kind of button won’t unbutton? A: A bellybutton! Q: Why do sea-gulls fly over the sea? A: Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels! Q: What dog keeps the best time? A: A watch dog. Q: Why did the tomato turn red? A: It saw the salad dressing! Q: What did the grape do when it got stepped on? A: It let out a little wine!
Q: What has four wheels and flies? A: A garbage truck!
Q: What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room? A: Odor in the court.
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Q: What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? A: Dam!
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May 2015
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NUMERALS A Roman walks into the Legion, sticks two
OIL TANK REMOVAL
fingers in a V shape to the barman and says, “Five beers please.”
A TWIST ON AN OLD JOKE A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, “Why the short face?”
EDUCATED A man from North Carolina goes into a bar in New England. He asks the bartender, “Did you go to Harvard?” The bartender says, “Yale.” The North Carolinan says, “DID YOU GO TO HARVARD?”
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DIETERS How many dieters does it take to change a light bulb? If it’s “light”, what could be better?
GRIZZLY TEETH Q: What do you call a grizzly bear with no teeth? A: A gummy bear.
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May 2015
FROM THE PIFFLE DICTIONARY • ABDICATE: To give up all hope of having a flat stomach.
• ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss
• ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied
rather than working hard.
organizational layers beginning just above
• AVOIDABLE: What a bullfighter tries to do.
the rank and file. Decisions that fall from
• BALDERDASH: A rapidly receding hairline.
the adminisphere are often profoundly
• BALONEY: Some hemlines fall here.
inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems
• BARBECUE: A line of people waiting for a
they were designed to solve. • ADULT: A person who has stopped growing
haircut. • BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a
at both ends and is now growing in the
group, discussing why a deadline was missed
middle.
or a project failed, and who was responsible.
• AQUADEXTROUS: Possessing the ability
• BOUYANT: A male insect.
to turn the bathtub tap on and off with
• BURGLARIZE: What a crook sees with.
your toes.
• CALORIES: Tiny creatures that live in your
• ARACHNOLEPTIC FIT: The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web. • ARBITRATOR: A cook that leaves Arby’s to work at McDonald’s.
closet and sew your clothes tighter every night. • CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people. • CASHTRATION: The act of buying a house,
• AROMATIC: An automatic crossbow.
which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
PICTOGRAPH BY ROSS HOOD
PUZZLE #19
The principle of this puzzle is to shade, in a logical way, boxes in the grid to discover a picture solution. Numbers on the left show the sets of boxes to be shaded in the
• CATERPALLOR: The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating. • COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours. • COFFEE: The person on whom one coughs.
corresponding line. Numbers above the grid show the sets of boxes to be shaded
• CONTROL: A short, bearded prison inmate.
in the corresponding column. There is always at least one clear box separating
• COUNTERFEITERS: Workers who put
the shaded boxes. TIP: It is just as important to discover which boxes are clear.
THIS ISSUE’S HINT: “MEOW, MEOW”
together kitchen cabinets. • CRAUGHED: To laugh and cry simultaneously.
Solution to March 2015 | PUZZLE #18
PICTOGRAPH
BY ROSS HOOD
Find the solution in the next issue of Piffle. To advertise, call 604-525-9027 or email sales@piffle.ca today!
May 2015
11
PONDERINGS 1. Why do people point to their wrist when they want to know what time it is, but they don’t point to their pants when they
Piffle’s MATH MADNESS
need to ask where the restroom is? 2. Why is is it called a roach clip? It should be called a pot holder. 3. Why is abbreviation such a long word? 4. Why do doctors leave the room when you get undressed? They’re going to see you naked anyway. 5. Why do you have to ‘put your two cents in’, but it’s only a ‘penny for your thoughts’? Where’s the extra penny? 6. Why is the original text in a document called ‘copy’? 7. Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard? 8. Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and then a diet coke?
Try to fill in the missing numbers. Use the numbers 1 through 9 to complete the equations. Each number is only used once. Each row is a math equation. Each column is a math equation. Remember that multiplication and division are performed before addition and subtraction. Find solution in the next Piffle!
9. Why are they called apartments when they’re all stuck together? 10. Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are dead? 11. Why does the sun lighten our hair but tan our skin?
Piffle’s NUMBER BLOCKS
12. Why does lemonade have artificial flavoring but dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons? 13. Why do banks charge a fee for ‘nonsufficient funds’ when they know you don’t have enough money? 14. Why do you never see the headline ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?
QUASIMODO LIKES CHINESE FOOD Quasimodo is sitting in the kitchen when his mother comes in, carrying a wok. He says, “I love Chinese food! Are you going to cook?” Quasimodo’s mother says, “No, I’m going to use this to iron your shirts!”
Try to fill in the missing numbers. The missing numbers are integers between 0 and 9. The numbers in each row add up to totals to the right. The numbers in each column add up to the totals along the bottom. The diagonal lines also add up the totals to the right. Find solution in the next Piffle!
A dog has an owner. A cat has a staff.
FE AT U R E STORY
May 2015
13
Irving House Celebrates 150th Anniversary
Story and photos by Gabor Gasztonyi
O
n a clear morning in Victoria Harbor on William Irving was born in Annan, Scotland August 5th of 1865, Captain William Irving on March 3rd, 1816 in the same year as Charlotte gathered his family and all their possessions, em- Bronte. It was a leap year in 1816 and historians barking on his steamship the Onward to begin a called it the Year Without a Summer. Europe and new life in New Westminster. William Irving was the world were in a mini ice age, suffering one of forty-nine at the time, and his wife Mary Irving the last great subsistence crises in history. William was thirty-four years of age. Their family that was born into this devastating landscape of famine boarded the steamship to New Westminster that and poverty. morning included five young children Mary, John, Later in 1831, William at age 15 went to sea on Susan, Elizabeth, and Nellie. Mary was the eldest a ship bound for Boston Massachusetts. Rumor at thirteen and Nellie was only two and born in has it that William also later sailed to China and Victoria. The other chilIndia. Before his thirtieth dren were born in Portbirthday, William manThere will be an opening reception on land where the family aged to become captain Thursday, May 21, 6:oo p.m. – 8:oo p.m. at also had a home. It must of his ship the “Success” the New Westminster Museum: Architectural have been a chilly voyand came to California Gems in the Crown of the Royal City. age at times, as the Gulf in 1848 to help with the This exhibition runs May 21 – November 29, 2015 and looks at the lost homes as well of Georgia can have cool California Gold Rush. as the enduring treasures of our city, along winds even in August. Later he brought the with a celebration of the 150th anniversary At t hat t i me, New steamboat “Eagle” to of Irving House. Westminster was only Oregon and pioneered six years old. It became the steamboat era there. the capital of the colony of British Columbia in Before he left Victoria Harbor that morning for 1859. There were few houses in New Westminster New Westminster, he had already made a small then, and Captain Irving, and his family were fortune for himself in the lumber and transportaabout to move into the fanciest and most elegant tion business in Oregon and Victoria. house in the small city. A wealthy steamship opIn the April 25th, 1865 edition of the local newserator who had developed a steamship business paper, the British Columbian, it was noted that the connecting Oregon, California and the Pacific luxurious house on 302 Royal Avenue is almost Northwest, William Irving decided that the next finished. Today it is the oldest surviving house great opportunity was in New Westminster where of that era in the Lower Mainland still intact and his steamships could service the great Gold Rush, essentially unaltered. which began in 1857. He would soon begin moving “The cornice, panel and centre piece of the drawpeople and freight to the Fraser Canyon gold fields ing-room have the best prospections and most deliin Yale and Lillooet. cate light and shade of any continued on page 14 The Irving House front room with portrait of Captain Irving (top) and the Irving House kitchen.
14
The King of Glenbrook North © Alan Hill First there was my parent’s garden with its Eden of children’s parties filthy knees its perpetual summer ecosystem of sugared up boys microclimate of budding hormones punctured soccer balls. Then the garden I tended as a student. Industrial grade carrots, cannonball sized cabbages between which my fiancé Michelle posed in her wedding dress, netted herself in front of the unsteady fleshing of the neighbours fence — her peasant’s hands, bony and white from the lack of a ring that even then, I knew, I was to never acquire for her. Then this garden I have now — small, secret, suburban each corner a continent overcrowded with trees Laburnum Pine Magnolia pockets of Spring light that only I have seen — uncharted silences in the raspberry canes: bordered by a pelt of rough cut lawn shimmying itself shyly towards the back of the house squaring itself up to the edge of the known world. Alan Hill was born in the South West of England near the Welsh border. Af ter leaving school at sixteen he travelled extensively and worked in jobs ranging from renovating old graveyards to working in a jellybean factory. Since 2005 he has been living in New Westminster. He has had two collections of Poetry published by Silver Bow Publishing and has been published in many literary magazines in Canada, USA and the UK.
POET’S CORNER with
JANET KVAMMEN DIRECTOR, ROYAL CITY LITERARY ARTS SOCIETY Welcoming New Westminster Poets! Please submit your “New West” poems for this column by emailing Janet: janetkvammen@rclas.com
May 2015 continued from page 13 room in the house, if we may accept the dining-room. In the centre piece of the entrance hall is a design from the suggestion of Captain Irving, who is a Scotchman, from near the border. The artist has blended the rose in bouquet form with the thistle, give a hexagonal star-like form to the whole, intended to be emblematical of the nativity of the proprietor. Captain Irving has spared neither money or pains in providing a comfortable home for his family. The total cost will fall little, if any, short of 10,000.00.” That was a great sum of money in those days. William Irving died of an unconfirmed illness in 1872 after establishing the Pioneer Line of steamships, serving in local government and helping to establish the Masonic Hall. His only son John took over the shipping business, and he eventually moved back to Victoria with his family. William’s widow lived in the house on Royal Avenue for another thirteen years but moved back to Portland in 1885 to their other family home, after the children had grown up. Curiously, their home in Portland looked much the same, built in the Gothic style, which William loved. The Irving’s eldest daughter Mary and her husband Thomas L. Briggs purchased the home from Elizabeth after she moved back to Portland for 2000.00. The last descendants of the Briggs family, Manuella and Naomi lived in Irving house until 1950. The city of New Westminster purchased the Irving house as a museum for 5500.00 in the same year. Before I began writing this piece, I met with Rob McCullough, Manager Cultural Services for the City of New Westminster at Irving House. It was a nice spring day with a lovely batch of tulips growing behind the front fence of Irving House. In the back of the house, there were still a few holly plants growing which the Brigg’s children had planted many years ago. Rob gave me a tour of the front parlor and the sitting room. I was amazed at the authenticity of the rooms and the beautiful light that came in through each window. We sat down near the continued on page 18
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May 2015
15
A Bit of Curiosity! T
Battle of the Curious, a fun, free and competitive event for both vendors and the public alike to bring their most unique and interesting items to be judged! Prizes are available for the most curious item submitted! Vintage clothes, and onsite alterations, First Nations’ art, and Chinese antiques. Everything unique and curious will be available, from the tiniest piece of antique jewelry, to the largest signs and furniture. There will be something for everyone! So please, find Curious Flea on Facebook and keep up to date with vendors and products!
he River Market is excited to announce the continuation of the Curious Flea Market, now coordinated by local artisan Bonnie Hammond, of Bits & Keys’! Curious Flea is an event which features local artisans and collectors who come together to provide an upscale bazaar of the unique and curious! It features objects which have been recycled and upcycled in unique and curious ways, antique and vintage items, and crafts inspired by times gone by. It is a shopping experience which is unique, in that it brings together all kinds of oddities and crafts in a friendly open setting. Curious Flea occurs surrounded by local shops and restaurants in the River Market once a month and continues to work to celebrate the community of New Westminster in featuring as much local content as possible! Bonnie is bringing together her extensive experience as a market vendor, with her event planning skills and experience and is looking forward to hosting a family friendly event where our community can browse and shop in comfort. She is looking forward to themed days in the winter months Discover, explore, and satisfy your curiosity at the Curious Flea. This isn’t your grandmother’s flea market. Retro chic, mid century where people can shop ‘white furnimodern, 50’s kitsch, up-cycled treasures, steampunk finds, and ture’ or ‘stuff inspired by robots’ and everything in between grace our curious halls. is always looking for new people to An appraiser is available onsite to help you figure out what fabulously curious treasures you may have! add to the extraordinary selection of current vendors. Artisans will be Now organized by Bits and Keys. This season’s flea promises to be featured in the upstairs and downeven bigger and better! There’s always something to discover at the Curious Flea! stairs area and will also be featuring an outdoor portion! CURIOUS FLEA DATES FOR 2015! Her company Bits & Keys’ features jewellery made locally from bits and May 9th & 10th, June 14th, July 5th, August 22nd & 23rd pieces of upcycled and recycled “stuff”. She takes apart watches, uses old keys, SATURDAY 10am - 5pm SUNDAY 11am - 4pm drills holes in coins and repurposes FREE General Admission porcelain dollhouse tea sets and beads. For more info visit: Lockets and beer bottle opener’s sit @rivermrkt river market.ca/events @curiousflea side by side at this table as jewelry often meets function in her creative process. She can also upgrade single earrings and broken jewelry to make them wearable again and will gladly 810 Quayside Drive, New Westminster, BC 604.520.3881 customize things onsite. Onsite will be an appraiser of the so are you curious enough to check it out? rare, old and curious as well as the
?
We are all prawns in the game of life.
How do I stay on track through the spring and into the summer?
CONSISTENCY IS KEY. Don’t skip your workout just because it’s warm and sunny out — work it in with your other activities. If you’re an early riser, you can enjoy leisurely evenings on the patio because you got up early and worked out (don’t forget — Dynamic Health and Fitness
But take a moment and reflect how hard you’ve worked over the last six or seven months. Is it worth it to “take some time off?” Maybe not, if you are feeling a bit lazy, low and out of shape. With summer officially around the corner, we need to plan ahead and stay on track.
You can smell the barbeque, NHL playoffs have started, and your glued to your seat, refreshments are calling your name on the patios. It would be so easy just to put off that workout!
A.
Q.
So, in a nutshell, here’s how you make working out a fun habit in the spring/ summer — plan ahead, just do it, set some goals, take it outside and take time
TAKE IT OUTSIDE. PLAY! Get out there, go for a run, play Frisbee, climb the Chief or do some push-ups in the park. When the weather’s this good, bi-weekly outdoor workouts and activities are the perfect complements to your indoor workouts at the Club.
MAKE A GOAL FOR YOURSELF. Sign up for a 10k fundraising walk, a 5k or 10k running race, an adventure race (Tough Mudder, Spartan) When we have a goal for our training, it makes hitting the Club easier. We can direct all our effort toward a tangible payoff — like your best time ever in your favorite challenge.
SPICE UP YOUR ROUTINE. The workout that challenged and shaped you last fall and into the winter may need a refresh. Ask any of us trainers to help you shake things up with a spring refresher that gives you results and the drive to stick to it.
is open at 5:30 a.m. on weekdays and 7:30 a.m. on weekends).
Dynamic Health and Fitness
ASK AN EXPERT:
I had never been a physically fit person who counted down the minutes until their next gym session, but all that changed four years ago when a motor vehicle accident left me with a permanent spinal cord injury. The Doctors were sure it was going to leave me paralyzed or using walking aides for the rest of my life, and it became imperative to my survival I learn to love the gym and everything it had to offer. When I became a member at Dynamic Health and Fitness, I was nervous, and had no idea what I was doing, I honestly could have been one of those gym fail members. I finally got the nerve to ask for help and personal training and was introduced to Brett and I have never looked back. She has been monumental in my recovery, to the point now where I use zero walking aides and have lost 60 pounds and I am now a quarter of the size I was in high school which has been a lot of help to my bones, muscles and joints. The staff here
Name: Chelsea Age: 26 Active Member Since: Sept 2011
make this place seem so much more than just a gym, it really is a one of a kind place. Thank you to Dynamic Health and Fitness and of course Brett for helping me become committed to my fitness!
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to relax and enjoy the sunny warmer weather — you will have earned it!
18
Piffle’s MATH MADNESS SOLUTION FROM THE PREVIOUS PIFFLE MAGAZINE
Piffle’s NUMBER BLOCKS SOLUTION FROM THE PREVIOUS PIFFLE MAGAZINE
Serving Smiles to the Lower Mainland Subscription Form Name Address
City Province Phone Email
Postal
❑ 1 Year ($50 + $2.50 TAX)* ❑ New ❑ Renewal ❑ Send me the FREE digital version too! Subscription Start M M / y y y y Make payments to “Sargent’s Publishing” Piffle Subscription Manager 4th Floor, 604 Columbia St New Westminster, BC V3M 1A5 *Subscription rate has increased due to Canada Post’s announced increase in stamp prices.
May 2015 continued from page 14 back next to the library, and Rob explained that they were trying to bring Irving house back to its original historic state of 1865. They had already removed layers of wallpaper in an effort to discover the original design. The wallpaper in the front parlor, to the left, as one comes in, is original as are the carpets on the floor. A lot of the furniture in the house is not original. The long-term plan is to include only pieces associated with that era. I was surprised to learn that the heating and cooling system for the house is geo-thermal. Parts of the system extend 190 feet below in the yard outside. “We like to keep the temperature in the house at an even 20 degrees for optimal preservation,” Rob remarked. The preservation efforts of Rob and the museum staff have paid off, and it felt as if I were taking a step back in time. Rob, who grew up in Selkirk Manitoba, developed a keen interest in history early in elementary school. He later went on to work as an interpreter for Parks Canada and took up blacksmithing at Fort Gary. “Once you get the knack of blacksmithing, it becomes second nature and then its easy to talk to people as you are working,” Rob said. In preparation for the 150th anniversary of Irving House in August of this year, Rob mentioned a few projects planned including a birthday party, special tours, and family events in the front lawn using period toys. They also plan to plant a kitchen garden with varieties of fruits and vegetables the Irving and Briggs families would have grown. The elementary school children at the school next door will help with the garden. Rob also hopes they can do some painting of the Irving house exterior as well as organizing the period furniture. Rob’s knowledge of the history of Irving house is very detailed. He mentioned that the Briggs family had a telephone installed in the house with the number one and a second telephone installed at their business on Front Street with the number two. It was easy to communicate with one of the first telephones in the province.
To advertise, call 604-525-9027 or email sales@piffle.ca today!
May 2015 We look forward to the upcoming birthday celebrations for Irving House on its 150th Anniversary this August. Perhaps you too will be amazed as you walk in the front door in August, just as William Irving and his young family did on August 5th, 1865. Look for further information on the City of New Westminster’s website www.newwestcity.ca and the City Page Online at: www.newwestcity.ca/ citypage/index.php. FOR SALE: 1983 YAMAHA XV500 VIRAGO 58K on the odometer. Battery one year old. New tires as of last year. Runs very well, and well maintained. Easy to handle, great to learn on. Excellent starter bike! Asking $1300. Price includes saddle bags, factory maintenance manual, and a spare seat.
Contact James at jmayer303@gmail.com.
PIFFLE’S
HOW FAST CAN YOU GET THROUGH?
19
Call Liza for a personalized reading for Mother’s Day!
778-898-2146 HOROSCOPES by LIZA
MAY 2015
ARIES: Watch for conflicts within partnerships this month; both personally & professionally. Thinking before you talk is important. TAURUS: Your very assertive this month and its a good time to show the world what you can do. Just don’t be to aggressive, it could backfire. GEMINI: Physical relations are important to you this month. You may find the mate of your dreams or scare them away with your strong personality.
CANCER: This month its a good time to do those home renovations. You do your best work out of your home.
LEO: You discover just how much love there really is in your life this month. You find beauty in your every day surrounding. VIRGO: Don’t judge yourself by what you own. However, it is a good month to put your energy into making money, just be wise about it. LIBRA: Your a star at charming people and this month you pull out all the stops. You put pleasure before work this month. SCORPIO: Being assertive this month will not work in your favour. Step back and listen before speaking your mind. SAGITTARIUS: Think about your goals and actively pursue them this month. Put your energy into your dreams and they will more than likely come true. CAPRICORN: You may find your superiors tick you off this month. Better to just get the job done amidst all the turmoil and avoid the aggravation. AQUARIUS: You either have travel or education on your mind this month. Why not try them both and expand your horizons. PISCES: Keep issues regarding other people’s money to a minimum. However, if people owe you money, now is the time to try to get it back.
I have friends who swear they dream in color; I say it’s just a pigment of their imagination.
20
May 2015
Is so
in g ? s s i gm n i h t me
$3 OFF!
(min. $20, dine-in only, specials excluded)
Jenny & Simon
Spring is here! And so are our 609 12th St, tasty Spring Rolls! New West PHONE 604-525-1238
All-Day Breakfast $4.95 ~ Western & Chinese Cuisine ~ Pick-Up Orders 10% off (min. $20)
We can’t wait to host your next event.
Sapperton Pensioners’ Hall
can accommodate up to 275 people and is perfect for weddings, dances, dinners, fundraisers, birthday parties, lunches, reunions, memorials, craft markets, filming, meetings, and displays.
• 14' x 25' stage, P/A system, upright piano • 3,500 sq. ft. of open area upstairs with a hardwood floor
• Downstairs has 3,500 sq. ft., linoleum floor, kitchen facilities
• Parking for 30 cars, close to Sapperton SkyTrain Station
• Less than 5 minutes from Pattullo Bridge or Hwy #1 exit
S A PPERTON P ENSIONERS ’ H A LL
318 Keary St, New Westminster • Call 604-522-0280 to book your space today To advertise, call 604-525-9027 or email sales@piffle.ca today!
May 2015
21
MOTHER’S DAY SPECIAL ALL MONTH LONG! FULL PEDICURE WITH SHELLAC POLISH $45
Receive a bottle of regular polish free of charge ($9 value) with this coupon.
APRIL NAIL SPA
778.397.0185
989 Carnarvon Street New Westminster, BC mary@aprilnailspa.com
OPEN 7 DAYS / WEEK
Mon-Fri: 10 am – 7 pm Saturday: 10 am – 6 pm Sunday: 10 am – 4 pm
Advance booking is recommended. Please present this coupon at time of service. Cannot combine with other offers. The same person can use one coupon for both services at the same time. Coupon expires May 31, 2015.
www.aprilnailspa.com
Royal
City
CHIROPR ACTIC Dr. P.G. Campbell D.C.
Suite
a p p Bo o k o in in g no t m en w! ts
110-846 20th St.
Our home’s address is used by not only the pizza delivery driver, but by NW Police, BC Ambulance Service, and New Westminster Fire & Rescue Services to assist you in an emergency situation. With spring in the air, now is a good time to check for branches, bushes, etc. that may have grown in and are now obstructing your address. This exercise should be done again in the winter when it is dark and rainy; perhaps your house numbers need to be more reflective. Checking to make sure your house numbers are clearly visible can save precious seconds when you need emergency assistance. BYLAW SNIPPET YOU SHOULD KNOW…
FIRE PROTECTION BYLAW NO. 6940, 2004 Subsection 40.2 – Each premise must be individually addressed. An individual address must be legible from a distance of 15 meters and placed on new and existing buildings or structures in such apposition as to be plainly visible and legible from the street, road, fire lane or other right of way or easement and at the front of the structure. New Westminster Fire & Rescue Services Fire Prevention Office, 1 East 6th Avenue, New Westminster, BC V3L 4G6
www.newwestcity.ca
Look out for #1, and don’t step in #2, either.
22
May 2015
CANINE COUNTING A farmer wants to know how many sheep he
• Chocolate is just another snack. • You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
has in his field, so he asks his border collie
• You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
to count them. The dog runs into the field,
• The world is your urinal.
counts them and runs back to the farmer.
• You never have to drive to another gas
The farmer says, “How many?” The dog says,
station restroom because this one is ‘just
“40.” The farmer is surprised and says, “How
too icky’.
can there be 40… I only bought 38!” The dog
• Wrinkles add character.
says, “I rounded them up.”
• You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
FREUDIAN SLIP A patient says, “Doctor, last night I made
• Your underwear is $8.95 (or less) for a three-pack.
a Freudian slip. I was having dinner with my
• Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
mother-in-law and wanted to say ‘Could you
• You almost never have strap problems in
please pass the butter?’. But instead I said ‘You silly cow, you have completely ruined my life.’”
public. • You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
LET’S BE SENSIBLE A dog went to a telegram office, took out
• The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
a blank form and wrote: “Woof. Woof. Woof.
• You only have to shave your face and neck.
Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.” The
• You can play with toys all your life.
clerk examined the paper and politely told
• One wallet and one pair of shoes… one
the dog, “There are only nine words here. You could send another ‘Woof’ for the same price.” The dog replied, “but that would make
color for all seasons. • You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
no sense at all!”
• You can ‘do’ your nails with a pocket knife.
MEN ARE HAPPIER BECAUSE… • Your last name stays put.
REJECTION LINES AND WHAT THE LADIES REALLY MEAN
• The garage is all yours.
• I think of you as a brother. (You remind me
• Wedding plans take care of themselves.
of that banjo-playing kid in ‘Deliverance.’)
To advertise, call 604-525-9027 or email sales@piffle.ca today!
May 2015
23
• There’s a slight difference in our ages. (I don’t want to date my dad.) • I’m not attracted to you in ‘that’ way. (You are the ugliest dork I’ve ever laid eyes on.) • I’ve got a boyfriend. (I prefer my male cat and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry’s.) • I don’t date men where I work. (I wouldn’t date you if you were in the same ‘solar system’, much less the same building.) • It’s not you, it’s me. (It’s you.) • I’m concentrating on my career. (Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.) • I’m celibate. (I’ve sworn off only the men like you.) • Let’s be friends. (I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the other men I date. It’s the male perspective thing.)
MOTHER’S DICTIONARY OF MEANINGS • DUMBWAITER: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert. • FULL NAME: What you call your child when you’re mad at him. • HEARSAY: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word. • GRANDPARENTS: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.
What is the oldest walled city that still exists north of Mexico? a) Montreal
c) Quebec City
b) Halifax
d) Vancouver
There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can’t.
24
May 2015 BREAKFAST • LUNCH • DINNER • DAILY SPECIALS
604-524-8118 Open 7 days a week!
636 Sixth Street Mon to Sat 7am – 8pm New Westminster Sun/Holidays 8am – 8pm
wafflehouserestaurant.com
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One Source Printing for Piffle Advertisers
10% OFF*
Piffle Advertising for One Source Customers
Printing
Business Cards, Flyers, Brochures, Posters, Forms, Manuals
Promotional Products T-shirts, Pens, Notepads, Trinkets
Signs & Banners
Full Colour, Die Cut Vinyl, Vehicle Decals, Sandwich Boards
Engraving
Namebadges, ID Cards, Room Signs, Door Plaques
Trophies & Awards
Plaques, Cups, Crystal, Ribbons *Discount on $100 minimum purchase
John Ashdown 604-657-5600 John@onesourceproduction.com johnashdown@piffle.ca
SALES:
604 521-1295
onesourceproduc tion.com To advertise, call 604-525-9027 or email sales@piffle.ca today!
May 2015
25
Don’t use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
26
May 2015
The Team with Judy Darcy, MLA New Westminster: Sandra Farjo-Basheer (Greens & Beans Deli); Volunteer Nic Gomez; Carli Henssler (Oxygen Yoga & Fitness); Alex Zang (Royal City Centre); Judy Darcy, MLA; Megan Hill (Key West Ford); Kevin Wang (Van Dop Gallery) Raunaq Singh (the NewsLeader).
Express
how unique you are.
Key West Ford Shows Community Spirit
T
he New Westminster Youth Ambassador Team were invited by MLA Judy
Darcy to come to Legislature in Victoria on April 14, 2015. They attended Question Period and were introduced in the house by Judy, followed by pictures in the Rotunda, a tour of her office, lunch in the MLA Dining room, a private tour of the library and tour of the Parliament Buildings. The Team was extremely impressed with seeing how our Provincial Government operates, in person.
406-A East Columbia St, New Westminster, BC 604-897-0045 • royalcitytattoo@hotmail.com
www.royalcitytattoo.com
Thank you also must go to Key West Ford, who supplied a 15 passenger van for the team and escorts to travel to Victoria.
To advertise, call 604-525-9027 or email sales@piffle.ca today!
PROUDLY SUPPORTING: • May 2 Ford Drive 4 Ur Community, Nights Of Columbus • May 16 Ford Drive 4 Ur Community, Burnaby Mountain Secondary • May 21 Key West Ford private sale (see dealer for details)
www.keywestford.com | sales: 1.866.579.1111
• May 23 Ford Drive 4 Ur Community, Justin Morneau Field for New West • May 23 Hyack Parade sponsored by Key West Ford who proudly provides vehicles for Hyack, the Mayor, the Salmonbellies and more!
BUSINESS ORY DIRECT BE PART OF PIFFLE’S
25
$
BUSINESS DIRECTORY! Contact John
/issue 604-657-5600
johnashdown@piffle.ca
JOIN US FOR MOTHER’S DAY!
IWONA PIEROGIES
HOUSEKEEPERS NEEDED! Merry Maids is a growing business and needs hard working, trustworthy, and dedicated friendly staff. Completive wages offered. Apply at #426-604 Columbia St, New West
Our small prices will leave you with a…
DINE IN – TAKE OUT CATERING
604 524 4144
806 20 STREET, NEW WEST IWONAPIEROGIES.CA
Yo like a
Pro!
e “Mr Tub Yoyo Thrower ” on You
PAYLESS
COIN LAUNDRY SERVICES Laundry drop-off services
Dry clean depot Regular hem alterations only $5 Money transfer & pinless dialing phone card for long distance
Lessons,
802 20 St, New West
Birthday Parties, Yoyo Performances!
778-789-1117 mryoyothrower@gmail.com
www.mryoyothrower.com
Tel: 778-397-0896 Open 7 days a week 9:30 AM – 7:00 PM
Freedomfire Full Gospel
43 6th St,
New Westminster
64 8th St New Westminster Email: freedomfireband@telus.net revival@telus.net Office: 604-558-5824 Cell: 604-877-0662
604.562.4637
Reach thousands of local customers. Call 604-525-9027 to advertise today!
laramoving.ca
Serving Smiles to the Lower Mainland
www.piffl e.ca
FREE SCRAP CAR
REMOVAL FILTHY PHIL & HIS DUMMER BROTHER
AUTO HAULING SURREY, BC
Call
604-603-9004
Mount Calvary Lutheran Church 701 - 6th St, New Westminster Divine Service & Sunday School: 11:00 am Sundays
Rev. James K. Kim
Tel: 604-521-2007
“Good clean cars, reasonably priced!”
International Ministries ❖ International Ministries ❖ Youth and Children’s Sunday School ❖ School of Leaders / G12 Vision / Encounter God Retreats ❖ Weekly Home Cell Meetings
• Honest & Reliable • Careful & Efficient • Fully Equip 3 or 5 Ton Truck • Reasonable Rates
OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK 9:30AM – 6:30PM
604.525.4566
renbooks@telus.net renaissancebookstore.com
301-12th St, New West
604-377-5889
To advertise, call 604-525-9027 or email sales@piffle.ca today!
Knox Presbyterian Church
403 E Columbia St, New West
604.524.6712
The Rev. Richard Watson, Minster
Regular Sunday Service at 11am
Mother’s Day Brunch
May 2015 THINGS A CAT SHOULD KNOW
• The dinner table might not be the best place to start grooming my rear.
29 11:30AM-2PM
SUNDAY MAY 10
Mother’s Day Brunch
11:30AM-2PM
SUNDAY MAY 10
• Screaming at the can of food will not make it open by itself. • I should not assume the patio door is open when I race outside to chase leaves. • When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way. • The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest. • The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn’t help, because I can
open. I must exit through the same door
fall faster than you can run.
I entered. In addition, I have been using
• My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.
bathrooms for years… feline attendance is not mandatory or helpful.
• There is not a secret exit from the
• The proper order is kiss your owner, then
bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you
go smell the other cats’ back end. I cannot
there and manage to get the door shut,
stress this enough.
it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door
Novina Bella, Owner
• The guinea pig likes to sleep once in a while. I will not watch him constantly. • If I bite the cactus, it will bite back. IMAGINE THAT “5-STAR HOTEL” FEELING IN YOUR VERY OWN HOME
604-961-6060 High End Cleaning & Organizing Services with a Classic Touch!
Houses & Condos • Offices & Show Homes Special Seniors Discount includes Cooking • Move Ins & Move Outs Before & After Parties • Professional Organizing Interior Decor • Bonded, Licensed & Insured “Over 20 Years Experience Providing Outstanding Services” 200% Satisfaction Guaranteed!
Cleaning, Organizing, Decorating, Moving, Parties… WE DO IT ALL! • bellahometel@shaw.ca • Like Us on Facebook!
Help Wanted: Telepath; you know where to apply.
30
May 2015
Sylvia Jordi, LPN, BBA
Foot Care Nurse
Honestly driven.
House Calls Care Homes Hospitals
604 341 4378 604-517-1230 oktirenw@shaw.ca 325A 12th Street New Westminster
Check out our seasonal specials! ANDREW LOCHHEAD, GM
Email: Info@FootCareHomeCall.com Website: FootCareHomeCall.com SMART Q: Why is a computer so smart? A: It listens to its motherboard.
BLESSING Sunday school teacher: Tell me, Johnny. Do you say prayers before eating?
c) Quebec City
Johnny: No, ma’am, I don’t have to. My mom’s a good cook.
LEGION NO.2 631 SIXTH STREET, NEW WESTMINSTER
NEW BAND TIME!
5:30PM – 10:30PM
FRI IS FREE SNACK NIGHT! SAT IS PIZZA NIGHT $1/SLICE
BOB MARLOW JAMES BURTON SAT, MAY 16 FRI & SAT, MAY 29 & 30
MEGA MEAT DRAW!
SUNDAYS AT 3, 4 & 5PM
KARAOKE WITH CAL DONNELLY THURS & FRI AT 6:30PM (except for May 29)
MEAT BINGO THURS AT 6PM • SAT FROM 6:45PM Royal Canadian Legion No.2, 604-522-4522
MEMBERS & GUESTS WELCOME! To advertise, call 604-525-9027 or email sales@piffle.ca today!
May 2015
31
We Can’t Wait to Spend Our Time with You!
L
ocally owned and operated by Wendy Scott, Nurse Next Door Burnaby has been serving the Burnaby, New Westminster, Port Moody, Coquitlam and Anmore communities since 2009. They’re truly a company that’s about caring, not just health care — even when a client might not want it! “Delivering happiness to our clients can be as simple as preparing a bubble bath or cooking their favourite meals,” says Scott. “The biggest objection we face when providing home care is that our clients simply don’t think they need it!” Here’s the kind of home care we provided Eleanor: We planted flowers for her. An early Alzheimer’s patient, Eleanor’s daughter wanted to get her mother some extra help around the house with simple housekeeping tasks. Eleanor, however, was having none of it. Our caregiver showed up to her shift and Eleanor would kick her out of the house, saying she didn’t need the help. The caregiver never gave up. She still showed up for every shift, making her presence known to Eleanor and simply started working outside Eleanor’s home. She began with simple yard work — cleaning up litter and mowing the lawn, progressing to gardening to brighten up the yard. One day, Eleanor opened the door and said “Well, if you’re going to continue to show up, you may as well come in!” Our caregiver gave Eleanor a big smile and knew she was on her way to winning Eleanor over. Find out how we can help. Call 604-553-3330 today to book your FREE caring consult.
Karaoke is Japanese for ‘tone deaf’.
DOLLAR STORE
SPECIAL BUY ONE GET ONE
FREE!
EVERYTHING IN STORE EXCEPT TOBACCO, FOOD, CHOCOLATES AND ALREADY DISCOUNTED ITEMS
420 E COLUMBIA ST, NEW WEST 1 Block North of R.C. HOSPITAL Across from FRESH SLICE PIZZA
604 544 5688
MUST, MUST SEE THIS UNIQUE STORE!
50% OFF ON HUNDREDS OF ITEMS!
WE BUY & SELL USED DVDs, XBOX & PS GAMES
SPECIAL OFFER VALID DURING 2015.
Our small prices will leave you with a…
Spring Has Sprung!
Join us for Mom’s Special Day!
Lunch Specials EVERYDAY (both Chinese and W estern dishes)
441 East Columbia Street New Westminster, BC
604-521-1871
10% OFF for pick-up orders over $15.00
FREE DELIVERY everyday starting at 4:30pm (within a 5km distance & a minimum order of $18.00)
Reach thousands of local customers. Call 604-525-9027 to advertise today! Serving Smiles to the Lower Mainland
www.piffle.ca
OPEN 6 DAYS A WEEK 11:00am – 10:00pm Closed Tuesdays