Piffle Magazine 2016-08 by Sargent's Piffle

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CITY SCENE MAGAZINE

AUGUST 2016 ISSUE #191

Ray and Darlene Gaucher with partner Doug Danforth at their West End Medicine Centre which is celebrating its 65th, 55th and 45th anniversaries. Story and photos by Lori Pappajohn on page 16.

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“Let’s Get Ahead Together”

Roveen Kandola & Associates 2015

604-644-7653(SOLD)

Re/Max Real Estate Services N. Tower 410-650 West 41st Ave. Independently Owned and Operated.

Clean, Private, Service Oriented Fitness...

Men and Women Clean,ForPrivate, Service Oriented Fitness… For Men and Women

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Peter Julian, MP New Westminster – Burnaby

We have moved to New West!

Need help with federal issues such as E.I., Income Tax, Canada Pension and Canada Student Loan? Please contact Peter Julian’s Community office for assistance.

Peter Julian’s Community Office (Near New Westminster SkyTrain)

#110-888 Carnarvon St, New Westminster Phone: 604-775-5707 l Email: peter.julian.c1@parl.gc.ca l www.PeterJulian.ca

H A Q F X A C E N E B K E M B S O C Q X

I W L E R T N E C N I V A J P U G Z S S

T I I F L I N S K J B W Y N I L J F K D

B L T I C E J E V R B L R N Y S K Q M C

T L E I L E E N O U B D K I W N H F Z T

P I D R B S M O S Q O J Y B G U Z K Q Q

P E A R S O N H V T P H O Y B O M T X E

M D N E T S E W K H A R Y W T N D Y J V

E M F T Y L W S R D M J K M R W A Z H H

J A O S L L F E A M P Z S A F K C J F B

H S R E V I T L T N U P I E H V N L A E

P S T L R Y Y Y Z C W M R I B K F J U M

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M Y U V R I K C X Q X P L L N M D S F L

S A M U A Q D W P X E L N Z J N F J A E

Z B Y S S X M A P C V H I V D X U G Z F

X M I K I C T N A I W Q C J D J A H B J

U G E A F K I S J H O H P X O K A I L T

H R J E L A A E R C Y A F K R X P H Z Y

U K M C Q B F T Z F R X X K C N C I H F

WORD SEARCH BUSHELL CENTRE DANFORTH DARLENE DOUG EARL EILEEN GAUCHER LESTER MASSEY MEDICINE PEARSON RAY VINCENT WESTEND WILLIE

Serving the Community of New Westminster Our office can assist with provincial government issues such as MSP, income assistance and provincial disability, WorkSafe, and ICBC.

Judy Darcy, MLA EMAIL

judy.darcy.mla@leg.bc.ca PHONE 604-775-2101

Judy Darcy’s Constituency Office is located at 737 Sixth St, New Westminster, V3L 3C6

August 2016

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LEGION NO.2 MEAT BINGO THURS AT 6PM

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KARAOKE WITH CAL DONNELLY EVERY THURS & FRI RAY O’TOOLE EVERY SATURDAY AUG 26 & 27 (EXCEPT AUG 26)

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CALL 604-520-6171 426-604 Columbia St, New Westminster

WAXING SERVICES OTHER SERVICES Full Body ......................$75 Legs (half/full) ....... $20/30 Arms (half/full) ...... $15/25 Bikini (line/Brazil) .. $10/30 Chest/Back ............. $25/30 Gentlemen services at Spa call for quotes. Home services are for ladies only.

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Bradley Olding 604-218-0911 Sales Representative bradleyolding@piffle.ca Graphic Design: Cliff Blank Email: production@piffle.ca

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Sargent’s Word Search ��2 Imperial Pharmacy Community Page ��7 Let’s Talk with Keith Norris �� 11 Pictograph by Ross Hood Puzzle #25 �� 12 A-Maze-In �� 12 West End Medicine’s Focus is on the People by Lori Pappajohn �� 16 Horoscopes by Liza �� 17 Today one can live a next-to-normal life �� 18 Hometown Connection by Lori Pappajohn �� 19 Ask An Expert: Dynamic Health and Fitness ��20 Piffle Quiz �� 23 Kid’s Corner with Isaiah �� 23 Pictograph by Ross Hood Puzzle #24 Solution �� 24 New Westminster Fire and Rescue Services �� 26 Sargent’s City Scene �� 27 Poet’s Corner with Janet Kvammen ��29 Sargent’s Math Madness ��30 Math Madness Solution ��30 Sargent’s Number Blocks ��30 Number Blocks Solution ��30 Piffle Quiz Answer �� 31 MLA’s Report by Judy Darcy ��35

Piffle Business Directory ��36

Wondering what your home is worth?

www.sellvancouverhomes.com

Roveen Kandola & Associates Re/Max Real Estate Services • Independently Owned and Operated • N. Tower 410 – 650 West 41st Ave

August 2016

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Serving New Westminster since 2003. We thank all of you for your continued support over the years!

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981 Carnarvon St, New Westminster

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August 2016

sue? Missing an is ACY RM A PH L IM PE RIA y rr ca is pleased to sues -is ck ba e th many of year. from the past

Visit us ONLINE at ImperialPharmacy.ca

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Organized by VEATA (Volunteer Education & Assistance Team for Animals For further information, contact: Theresa Laviolette, 778-298-7008 doggyfunday.nw@gmail.com

13TH ANNUAL NEW WEST CULTURE CRAWL On August 13 and 14, 11:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. New Westminster will come alive as the 13th annual New Westminster Cultural Crawl celebrates the city’s creative character, diversity, and unique cultural experience. We invite you to join us to be a part of the creative energy throughout New Westminster. For more information, contact Kaila Butler:

50TH ANNIVERSARY OPEN HOUSE — ROYAL CITY CURLING CLUB

604-525-3244 | media@acnw.ca www.newwestculturalcrawl.com

ROYAL CITY FARMERS MARKET

August 14, 10:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. August 4, 11 and 18, 3:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m. Royal City Curling Club Come see what all the yelling is about at the Tipperary Park Up to 40 vendors at each market offering fresh Royal City Curling Club! Come socialize with curlers, learn about the his- local produce, prepared foods and handmade tory of curling in New Westminster, and discover crafts as well as delicious food trucks. Every curling opportunities! Invite your friends, this is market we feature live music & kids’ activities! a community event.

VEATA DOGGY FUN DAY Volunteer Education & Assistance Team for Animals August 28, 11:30 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. Queens Park, south playing field New Westminster

FUN & GAMES FOR DOGS — AND THEIR PEOPLE! Interactive games (7-legged race, egg & spoon), pet-owner lookalike contest, agility, doggy demos, vendor booths, raffles, prizes--and the famous (four paws up!) bobbing for weiners contest. FREE FOR ALL! Come out and enjoy a day of doggy fun. Queen’s Park, south playing ﬁeld

POKÉMON GO HISTORIC WALKING TOUR

August 6, 10:30 a.m. to 12:00 p.m. Anvil Centre Lobby (by the PokeStop) Did you know that many of New Westminster’s iconic landmarks, stories, and buildings are PokeStops? Join us as we uncover the history behind many of the popular PokeStops in Downtown New Come and visit our Kids’ Place Area and discover: Westminster including the CPR Railway Station, • Free Crafts by The Stage New West or the Great Fire of 1898 (mosaic), and Ab Ovo — Music Box New West The Fertile Nest. Whether you’re a high level trainer, you’re just starting out, or • Free Mini Farmers you’ve never played the game, you’ll Market Play Area have a chance to see New Westmin• Face Painting ($) ster in a totally different way! • FREE PARKING is availArrive early or stay after the tour able on Royal Avenue, and explore Anvil Centre – we’ll Queens Avenue and in have lures set! the City Hall parking lot Registration strongly encouraged. after 4:30 p.m. There is For all ages. Registration Fee: Free a new parking area in Barcode# 153316 front of City Hall open to To register: 604.527.4640 market shoppers after museum@newwestcity.ca 4:30 p.m.

MON TO FRI 9AM-6PM | SAT 9AM-2:30PM | SUN 9AM-1:30PM

“I was raised by my father; I was daddy’s girl.” ~ Amber Heard

RODGER DIED Two elderly ladies meet at the market after not seeing each other for some time. One asked how the other’s husband was doing. “Oh! Rodger died last week. He went out to the garden to dig up a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped dead right there in the vegetable patch.” “Oh dear, I’m sorry,” replied her friend, “What did you do?” “Opened a can of peas instead.” THE ENGINEERS One day, a Mechanical Engineer, Electrical Engineer, Chemical Engineer and Computer Engineer were driving down the street in the same car. All of a sudden, the car broke down. The Mechanical Engineer said, “I think a rod broke.” The Chemical Engineer said, “The way it sputtered at the end, I don’t think it’s getting gas.” The Electrical Engineer said, “I think there was a spark and something is wrong with the electrical system.” All three turned to the computer engineer and said, “What do you think?” The Computer Engineer said, “I think we should all get out and get back in.” MANY ANSWERS TO THE AGE OLD QUESTION ‘WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?’ • George Orwell: Because the government had fooled him into thinking that he was crossing the road of his own free will, when he was really only serving their interests. • Colonel Sanders: I missed one? • Plato: For the greater good. • Aristotle: To actualize its potential. • Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.

• B.F. Skinner: Because the external influences, which had pervaded its sensorium from birth, had caused it to develop in such a fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of its own freewill. • Jean-Paul Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road. • Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference. • The Sphinx: You tell me. • Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken nature. • Emily Dickenson: Because it could not stop for death. • Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn’t cross the road; it transcended it. • Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain. • Saddam Hussein #1: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it. • Saddam Hussein #2: It is the Mother of all Chickens. • Joseph Stalin: I don’t care. Catch it. I need its eggs to make my omelet. • Dr. Seuss: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes the chicken crossed the road, but why he crossed, I’ve not been told! THE BARN The barn at Larry and Susan’s farm burned down, and Susan called the insurance company. Susan: “We had that barn insured for fifty thousand and I want my money.” Agent: “Wait just a minute, Susan… it doesn’t work quite like that. We will determine the value of the old barn and provide you with a new one of comparable worth.”

9 Susan, after a pause: “I’d like to cancel the policy on my husband.”

Scenic Guided

A POLICEMAN BROUGHT FOUR BOYS BEFORE A JUDGE… “They were causing an awful lot of commotion at the zoo, your Honor,” he said. “Boys,” said the judge sternly, “I never like to hear reports of juvenile delinquency. Now I want each of you to tell me your name and what you were doing wrong.” “My name is George,” said the first boy, “and I threw peanuts into the elephant pen.” “My name is Pete,” said the second boy, “and I threw peanuts into the elephant pen.” “My name is Mike,” said the third boy, “and I threw peanuts into the elephant pen.” “My name is Peanuts,” said the fourth boy.

Enjoy a relaxing cruise up the Fraser River toPitt Meadows where we enter the beautiful Pitt Polder of well-groomed bicycle trails along the riverside dike and adjacent quiet country lanes to the mouth of the stunningly-beautiful valley of Pitt Lake.

GO AHEAD PATRICIA A frog goes into a bank and hops up to a teller. He can see from her name plate that she is called Patricia Whack, so he says “Ms. Whack, I’d like to borrow $30,000, please.” The teller asks for his name and the frog replies that he is Kermit Jagger, son of Mick Jagger, and a personal friend of the bank manager. Unconvinced, Ms. Whack explains she will need some identity and also some security against his loan. The frog produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant and hands it to her. The confused teller says she will have to consult with her manager. “There’s a frog called Kermit Jagger at the counter who wants to borrow $30,000,” she tells her boss. “And what do you think this elephant is about?” The manager looks back at her and says “It’s a knick-knack, Patti Whack, give the frog a loan. His old man’s a Rolling Stone.”

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CHAIR FOR RENT

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604-524-8118

636 SIXTH STREET, NEW WESTMINSTER

#5, 204 Sixth Street, New Westminster (Hyack Festival Building)

604-732-6323

www.integratedphysio.com

“I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.” ~ Charles Dickens

10 HELP FROM THE YOUNG EXECUTIVE A young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. “Listen,” said the CEO, “this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing work for me?” “Certainly,” said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button. “Excellent, excellent!” said the CEO, as his paper disappeared inside the machine. “I just need one copy…”

Ken McIntosh Rod Drown Researchers

604.619.8455 Do you remember Lorraine Cunningham, a 1959 Lester Pearson Grad? If so contact us.

#360-729 6th St, New Westminster, BC V3L 3C5

August 2016

THE THERMOS One day Mikey was sitting in his apartment when his doorbell unexpectedly rang. He answered the door and found a salesman standing on his porch with a strange object. “What is that,” Mikey asked. “It’s a thermos,” the salesman replied. “What does it do,” asked Mikey. “This baby,” the salesman said, “keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.” After some deliberation Mikey bought one, deciding it would really help his lunch situation. The next day he arrived at the plant where he works. Sure enough, all the other employees were curious about his new object. “What is it,” they asked. “It’s a thermos,” Mikey replied. “What does it do,” they asked. “Well,” Mikey says in a bragging manner, “It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.” “What do ya got in it?” To which Mikey says, “Three cups of coffee and a popsicle.”

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11 BEING MINDFUL By Keith Norris, Registered Therapeutic Counsellor

hat is “Mindfulness” and how does it help our well-being? We generally think of mindfulness as being watchful, vigilant or wary of something: “Be mindful not to let the cat out after dark” or “Be mindful of the wet paint”. What does being mindful mean in terms of well-being and mental health? The concept has been around for a thousand years and primarily comes from Buddhist ideology. In simplicity, mindfulness is the opposite of mindlessness and we all know what kind of trouble being mindless can cause. In counselling, mindfulness can be used as a therapeutic technique which teaches the client to focus one’s awareness on the present moment. This helps provide a sense of calm rather than letting our thoughts and feelings steer our behaviour. For example: say someone cuts us off in traffic and we may react by shouting and pounding the dashboard in anger. Mindfulness teaches us to take a moment before we react to the stimulus of that situation. It allows space to contemplate what kind of person we really want to be about this. In that moment we can observe those reactionary thoughts and feelings as separate from ourselves. Sound like metaphysical nonsense? Maybe, but studies in neuroscience and advancements in neuroimaging have successfully mapped the parts of the brain that are active during states of mindfulness. I’ll break it down into simple language for us. There are two networks in the brain to consider in this context. One part is the “default” mode which handles planning, contemplation and rumination; also known as the “narrative” arrangement of our grey matter. The other part is known as the “direct experience” network that handles well… experiencing experiences. The direct experience network is linked to bodily sensations and perception; it’s the part of our brain which is active when we are in a state of mindfulness. We aren’t thinking intently or obsessing about the past, the future, other folks, ourselves; we aren’t “thinking” much at all. It’s more about experiencing what our senses are providing; the coldness of a drink in our hand, the sensations during lovemaking or the smell of the ocean. Studies show that those who regularly practice a state of mindfulness are typically higher functioning

individuals. They have improved focus and therefore remember things in greater detail, creativity is higher and interpersonal skills are better. These folks are less judgmental, less reactive and considered more attractive in demeanour. These folks are also more flexible and adaptive when it comes to handling everyday stressors. The good news is that anybody can become more mindful. The most popular and evidential way is by practicing meditation. Research shows that 30 minutes of meditation every day for two weeks will begin to produce brain activity the same as those aforementioned higher functioning individuals. The biggest challenge when trying to meditate is keeping our focus; we seem to always get distracted away from our breathing or our mantras. That’s ok! It’s the actual switching of attention back to our breathing or mantra that creates the results. There are many different types of meditation practices as well as different methods of practicing mindfulness. If this is something that interests you, your Counsellor will be able to offer guidance in finding a method that makes sense to you.

BE PART OF CHANGING A CHILD’S LIFE WITH MUSIC! The New Westminster Citadel Corps of the Salvation Army is looking for sponsors to send kids to their Music and Performing Arts Camp in Gibsons, BC. Service Clubs, Corporation, and individuals are encouraged to help. For more information, please contact: Eva Gálvez (Aux. Captain) Pastor / Corps Officer Church Line Cell

604-521-0363 604-830-0157

Eva_Galvez@can.salvationarmy.org The Salvation Army New Westminster Citadel Corps 325 Sixth St, New Westminster

“I’d like to live like a poor man — only with lots of money.” ~ Pablo Picasso

12 PIFFLE’S

HOW FAST CAN YOU GET THROUGH?

THE 12-STEP PROGRAM FOR INTERNET ADDICTS 1. I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my newspaper like I use to. 2. I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one hand typing. 3. I will get dressed before noon. 4. I will make an attempt to clean the house, wash the dog, get the kids off to school, all before even thinking of the Internet. 5. I will sit down and write a letter to those unfortunate few friends and family that are Internetdeprived. 6. I will call someone on the phone who I cannot contact via the Internet. 7. I will read a book… if I still remember how. 8. I will listen to those around me and their needs and stop telling them to turn the TV down so I can hear what is happening on the Web. 9. I will not be tempted during TV commercials to check for email. 10. I will try and get out of the house at least once a week, if it is necessary or not.

PICTOGRAPH BY ROSS HOOD

PUZ ZLE #25

The principle of this puzzle is to shade, in a logical way, boxes in the grid to discover a picture solution. Numbers on the left show the sets of boxes to be shaded in the corresponding line. Numbers above the grid show the sets of boxes to be shaded in the corresponding column. There is always at least one clear box separating the shaded boxes. TIP: It is just as important to discover which boxes are clear.

THIS ISSUE’S HINT: “YOU SHOULD WATCH IT FLUTTER BY” 2

1 6

5 10 11 13

11 8

10 2 4

Find the solution in the next issue of Piffle. August 2016

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13 11. I will remember that my bank is not forgiving if I forget to balance my checkbook because I was too busy on my computer. 12. Last, but not least, I will remember that I must go to bed some time… and the Internet will always be there tomorrow!

• You get a new suit that says, “This best viewed with Netscape 4.01 or higher.” • The last girl you asked out was only a jpeg. • Your wife says communication is important in a marriage… so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so the two of you can chat.

THE TIGER There was this tiger that woke up one morning and just felt great (yes, just like Tony the Tiger). Anyway, he felt so good, he went out and cornered a small monkey and roared at him, “WHO IS THE MIGHTIEST OF ALL THE JUNGLE ANIMALS?” And the poor quaking little monkey replied, “You are of course, no one is mightier than you.” A little while later the tiger confronted a deer, and bellowed out, “WHO IS THE GREATEST AND STRONGEST OF ALL THE JUNGLE ANIMALS?” The deer shook so hard it could barely speak, but managed to stammer, “Oh great tiger, you are by far the mightiest animal in the jungle.” The tiger, being on a roll, swaggered up to an elephant who was quietly munching on some weeds, and roared at the top of his voice: “WHO IS THE MIGHTIEST OF ALL THE ANIMALS IN THE JUNGLE?” Well, the elephant grabbed the tiger with his trunk, picked him up, slammed him down; picked him up again, and shook him until the tiger was just a blur of orange and black and finally threw him violently into a nearby tree. The tiger staggered to his feet and looked at the elephant and said, “Man, just because you don’t know the answer, you don’t have to get so mad.”

IT’S WHAT PANDAS DO A panda bear walks into a restaurant and orders a meal. After eating he pulls out a gun, shoots the place to the ground, and runs away. Quickly the bartender runs after him yelling, “HEY YOU CAN’T DO THIS!!!” The panda turns around and yells “Yes I can. Look me up in the encyclopedia!” So, the bartender looks up “Panda” in the encyclopedia, and it reads “Panda: increasingly rare species of bear that can be found in the eastern part of Asia. It eats shoots and leaves.”

YOU KNOW YOU ARE ADDICTED TO THE INTERNET WHEN… • You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved, and you don’t have a clue when it happened. • Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like. • All of your friends have an @ in their names. • Your dog has its own home page. • You can’t call your mother… she doesn’t have a modem. • You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back to bed. • You buy a Captain Kirk chair with a built-in keyboard and mouse.

ABSTRACT NOUN “An abstract noun,” the teacher said, “is something you can think of, but you can’t touch it. Can you give me an example of one?” “Sure,” a teenage boy replied. “My father’s new car.”

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“I’d rather proliferate funny little rumors than not.” ~ Autre Ne Veut

14 TOP TEN WAYS THAT YOU KNOW YOU ARE SUFFERING FROM “JOB BURNOUT” 1. You’re so tired; you now answer the phone, “Hell.” 2. Your friends call to ask how you’ve been, and you immediately scream, “Get off my back!!” 3. Your garbage can IS your “In” box. 4. You wake up to discover that your bed is on fire, but go back to sleep because you just don’t care. 5. You have so much on your mind; you’ve forgotten how to pee. 6. Visions of the upcoming weekend help you make it through Monday. 7. You don’t set your alarm anymore because you know the pager will go off before the alarm does. 8. You leave for a party and instinctively bring your ID badge. 9. Your Day Timer exploded a week ago. 10. You think about how relaxing it would be if you were in jail right now YOU LOOK FAMILIAR There was a man sitting at a bar, and he looks over at the gentleman sitting next to him and says, “Hey, you look familiar. Are you from around here?” The man answers, “Yeah, I live down the street.” “No kidding?” says the first man, “Well, so do I. And hey, you look about my age. Where did you go to high school?” “Oh I went to Francis Lewis over on Utopia. Graduated in ‘66. How ‘bout you?” “Get out. I went to Francis Lewis. And I graduated in ‘66, too.” “Where’d you go to college?” “Beloit, in Wisconsin.”

“No way! I went to Beloit too. What dorm?” “Kevin Sullivan dorm.” “Sullivan? You’re not going to believe this . . .” Joe the bartender walks over, and the first guy says, “Joe, you won’t believe it in a million years. This guy went to the same high school as me, graduated the same year I did, and went to the same college. We were even in the same dorm. Isn’t that amazing?” Joe looks at them both and says, “Yeah, that’s just plain amazing.” A third man comes in and says, “Hey Joe. What’s new?” Joe says, “Not much. The Johnson twins are drunk again.” TWINS A pregnant woman gets into a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby. The doctor replies, “Ma’am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them.” The woman thinks to herself, “Oh no, not my brother — he’s an idiot!” Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, “Well, what’s the girl’s name?” “Denise,” the doctor says. The new mother thinks, “Wow, that’s not a bad name! Guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise!” Then she asks the doctor, “What’s the boy’s name?” The doctor replies, DeNephew. TWO ROBINS Two robins were sitting on a fence post in front of a freshly plowed field. One robin said to the other “I’m hungry! Are you?”

w w w. b uy va n co uve rh o m es .c a Rove e n K a n d o l a & A s s o ci ate s R e / M ax R e a l E s tate S e r vi ce s • I n d e p e n d e ntly O wn e d a n d O p e r ate d • N . Towe r 41 0 – 6 5 0 We s t 41 s t Ave

August 2016

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15 “Yes,” said the other robin. “Why don’t we go in this field and get some worms to eat.” They went in the field and started eating. They ate until they were so full they could not even move. The first robin said “I can’t move, lets just stay hear and bask in the sun.” “OK,” said the other robin. In a few minutes both robins fell asleep. Later that day the farm cat came up and ate both robins. When finished he remarked “I love Basken Robins.” THE TIP A man takes his place in the theater, but his seat is too far from the stage. He whispers to the usher, “This is a mystery, and I have to watch a mystery close up. Get me a better seat, and I’ll give you a handsome tip.” The usher moves him into the second row, and the man hands the usher a quarter. The usher looks at the quarter, leans over and whispers, “The wife did it.” A RACE Bill: Where did you get that gold watch Joe? Joe: I won it in a race. Bill: How many people participated in it? Joe: Three, a policeman, the owner of the watch, and me!! EVERY YEAR From a passenger ship, everyone can see a bearded man on a small island who is shouting and desperately waving his hands. “Who is it?” a passenger asks the captain. “I’ve no idea. Every year when we pass, he goes nuts.”

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WEST END MEDICINE’S FOCUS IS ON THE PEOPLE Story and Photo by Lori Pappajohn W hen Ray Gaucher was a little kid, he loved going to the pharmacy. “The pharmacist in his white coat would be behind the counter with all these chemicals and people would be coming to him for advice. In those days people often went to the pharmacist for advice before they went to the doctor. He was like god. I was in awe of him,” recalls Ray. So it wasn’t too hard for Ray to choose a profession. And as luck would have it, it wasn’t too hard for him to get a job either — he pretty much bought it. August 2016

It was back in 1971 when his father-in-law told him that the pharmacy down the street was for sale. Ray went in to buy it, got talking to owner Bill Donaldson and the two decided to become partners instead. Today Ray sits in his office and laughs about which anniversary his West End Medicine Centre is celebrating this year — its 45th, 55th or 65th. In August of 1951, the building at the corner of 20th Street and 8th Avenue had its official opening. One of the businesses that moved into the new building was the pharmacy that had been across the road. In 1961, Bill | L O C A L LY P U B L I S H E D S I N C E 2 0 0 0

- Pharmacist Mark Labonte serves with a smile at West End Medicine Centre. Donaldson bought the pharmacy and it became the West End Pharmacy. Then in 1971, Ray joined in, making this his 45th anniversary. When Ray first started working at the pharmacy, it was a social gathering place for the neighbourhood. Patrons would come to visit and could buy everything from greeting cards to hair dryers. Back then 8th Avenue was a gravel road west of 20th Street, and the area wasn’t even part of New Westminster. It was simply known as the DL (District Lot 172). Twentieth Street boasted two grocery stores, a baker, tailor, barbershop, a dentist and several doctors. It was like a small village in a far-flungunnamed territory, says Ray. “Bill’s focus was on the people. He knew everyone by their name, how many kids they had and how their tomatoes were growing,” laughs Ray. In later years, when the large drugstore chains started expanding, Ray’s business had to compete. By the mid 1980s they had shifted from being a drugstore that sold everyday items to being strictly a health clinic. They also spent $150,000 in enlarge the store, hire new staff and stock inventory to become an ostomy clinic. It was a big gamble, says Ray, but one that paid off. The ostomy portion of the business grew so quickly that it now encompasses more than half of the business and is one of the biggest ostomy clinics in Canada, serving more than 2,500 patients. (continued on page 18)

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778-898-2146 HOROSCOPES by LIZA AUGUST 2016 ARIES: This is a good time to spruce up your home and begin those home renovations. Employers will be pleased with the work you do. A good time to ask for that raise. TAURUS: You may find there is a considerable amount of love in your everyday life. You are more sensitive to beauty within your everyday surroundings. GEMINI: Money could easily slip through your fingers this month. Consider investing as opposed to spending and all will be well. CANCER: Your looking fabulous this month and others are taking notice. Expressing yourself to others comes with great ease during this time. LEO: Loved ones may call upon you for help during this time. Serve in the true service of selfless devotion and don't expect payback. VIRGO: Group activities take up all your time this month. Any group setting will only benefit you during this time. Your loved one may not understand this. LIBRA: Favorable circumstances take place within your place of work. A love relationship may take place with someone older. Be careful with your motives. SCORPIO: You will be attracted to new people and new experiences during this time. A good time for any pleasure trip that involves new ideas and philosophies. SAGITTARIUS: All relationships will play out with greater intensity during this time. If you require a loan or money from other resources; it will come easy to you now. CAPRICORN: Love will seek you out this month if your not currently in a relationship. If your in conflict with someone now it is a good time to make peace and reconcile. AQUARIUS: All matters pertaining to your work and daily life come with ease during this time. Deal with the real world and not the fantasies in your mind. PISCES: It’s all about having a good time during this month. Friends and lovers want your attention. There is no need to pretend what you are not.

18 (continued from page 17)

What makes the ostomy clinic so successful is the personal help patients receive, says Ray. It’s traumatic enough for people who can no longer use their bowels or bladder and will require a bag attached to their abdomen. With cutbacks at hospitals patients often aren’t given the personal attention they need. Often patients come to the clinic feeling abandon, depressed and even suicidal, said Ray. “We’re always here for them.” And that’s the service West End Medicine Centre is proud of. The seven nurses on staff provide a level of counselling and reassurance that people often can’t get elsewhere.

Nurse Lisa Hegler explains that sometimes people have emergency surgery and wake up to find they have a pouch — when they had no idea that was going to happen. They are completely traumatized. They have so many questions. “We always have the Kleenex box handy,” she says. In 1983, Ray took on new partner Doug Danforth. The long-term care pharmacist oversees the long-term care beds the centre services. “Years ago, Doug was the pioneer of long-term care,” said Ray who is delighted to have Doug as his partner. As for looking back over 45 years of being in the business, Ray says: “I’ve loved every minute of it.”

TODAY ONE CAN LIVE A NEXT-TO-NORMAL LIFE

Story and Photos by Lori Pappajohn

he news can be devastating. You’ve just been told that after surgery, you will no longer have a normal bowel movement. Your feces will go into a bag attached to the outside of your abdomen. The surgeon will make an opening (stoma) in your abdomen and will pull a portion of your intestine or colon through that opening. A pouch will attach to it to collect your feces. “We had one man come in here who was so devastated he wanted to commit suicide,” said Darlene Gaucher who works at West End Medicine Centre with her husband and co-owner Ray. “Our nurse Andrea Manson spent an hour talking to him. Afterwards he said he felt so good that he jokingly told his boss he should be paid more because he doesn’t have to take a pee break.” The centre’s nurses lend emotional support to those experiencing this life-changing event. They answer numerous concerns — can I go swimming? How will I have sex? What about dating? How do I cope now that my spouse has left me because of it? Thanks to modern technology, people today can manage incredibly well. However, in the early days, it was a 1960s homemade ostomy devices. The tough go. The one on the left is made from an engine part; the one on the right uses a light bulb first know n socket. A pouch would attach to them. August 2016

Receptionist Jenna Robison and registered nurse Lisa Hegler check an ostomy pouch fitting for a bathing suit at West End Medicine Centre.

surgery that created a stoma was in 1750 on a 73-year-old woman. It is unknown how she managed the discharge — perhaps with rags or towels. In the early years patients weren’t given any device to catch the feces — they were simply sent home from the hospital. So people made their own. In the 1960s some manufacturers began selling plastic bags which were an improvement over the homemade devices of glass, porcelain or metal. It wasn’t until the 1970s that efficient and comfortable bags and attaching materials were designed. Today one can live a next-to-normal life. West End Medicine Centre sells not only the devices, but the clothing to go with it — such as bikinis — so, yes, you can go swimming. | L O C A L LY P U B L I S H E D S I N C E 2 0 0 0

19 HOMETOWN CONNECTION Story by Lori Pappajohn

very Saturday, when Ray Gaucher was eight years old, he’d jump on a Coquitlam bus and head to downtown New Westminster. He had a $1 in his pocket and he’d be going to a movie and to Woolworths. Ray’s aunt was the cake maker at the lunch counter which, of course, meant Ray got a free piece of cake. Ray, co-owner of West End Medicine Centre, was born in New Westminster and grew up in Coquitlam. In those days downtown New Westminster was the place to be, and Ray was there often enough. And when he was a teen he hopped a bus every day for the Royal City where he attended Vincent Massey and Lester Pearson schools. It was after Ray graduated from high school that he met his wife-to-be — Darlene McInnis. She was a true Royal City gal — her mom Eileen had been born and raised here. In the 1980s, Darlene’s uncle Earl Bushell and wife Willie owned Mom’s Cafe on 12th Street. Darlene’s dad Mac McInnis was a local fire captain for 35 years. Darlene grew up in the West End when the area west of 20th Street was mostly bush. She and her friends used to ride horses at a farm at the foot of Trapp Road. “The farmer said — ‘if you can catch my horses, you can ride them,’” Darlene said, adding that the horses were easy to catch as she always brought them sugar. “The West End was a wonderful place to grow up. Everyone knew everyone. Grimston Park was always full of children playing tag or ball or Red Rover.” As a kid, Darlene often went to the West End pharmacy. “We used to steal chocolates from here,” she laughs. The former bank manager is now the West End Medicine Centre bookkeeper. Her 92-year-old mom Eileen still lives in New Westminster. “Oh, and I went to school with Chris Sargent,” laughs Darlene about the Piffle’s owner and editor.

Health and Fitness

Fruits and veggies are your friends! They contain healthy nutrients that give your metabolism a boost. Some ﬁber

2. EAT HEALTHIER

Yes, yes you should eat some breakfast this morning! Everyone seems to use the phrase “I’m too busy!” to the point it’s become the adult version of “the dog ate my homework.” This “no time” attitude aﬀects everyone in the household. From the lack of healthy food education for children to the quick mealtime options that lack any nutritional beneﬁts. You need to cut calories to lose weight, but going too low delivers a double whammy to your metabolism. When you starve your body, it begins to break down important, calorie-burning muscle tissue for energy. If you feel hungry at times during the day, have a small snack of about 100-150 calories to satisfy your craving. Generally its best to have two snacks, one in the morning between breakfast and lunch and one between lunch and dinner. Many people tell me that they’re “just not breakfast people,” but by eating breakfast you’re jump-starting your metabolism while giving your body energy for the day. I would recommend keeping some healthy snacks at work or taking something small with you each day such as a yogurt at the very least.

1. EAT ENOUGH THROUGHOUT THE DAY

hen looking to lose weight, many people are unsure of where to start or how their metabolism comes into play. It’s a common misconception that by eating less and skipping meals you will lose weight. By skipping meals during the day, it prevents your body from getting the essential nutrients you need to function. The general concept of weight loss is that you need to burn off more calories than you consume. Having a high metabolism is important in the process of burning these calories and impacts your weight loss success. It’s unhealthy to stop eating to try and lose a few pounds – it’s important to keep a healthy diet while cutting out all the processed and sugary foods. So how do you boost your metabolism? Are you looking to kick some calories to the curb faster? If you answered yes, then check out the following 5 ways you get can your metabolism in motion. If you’re looking for a refreshing method of jump-starting your metabolism, this one’s for you. By drinking about 6 cups of cold water a day, you can increase your metabolism by about 50 calories daily (enough to shed 5 pounds in a year). Another alternative to water is coffee or tea. Surprisingly, your caffeinated beverage could boost your metabolism 5 to 8% or about 98 to 174 calories a day. Of course there are some caffeinated drinks you should stay away from including soft drinks, alcohol, slushies, energy drinks or anything with a high sugar percentage that lacks any nutritional value. Alcohol can be a negative when it comes to boosting your metabolism and ultimately losing weight. When you have a drink, you burn less fat as the alcohol is used to fuel your body instead. For example, consuming about two martinis can reduce your body’s ability to burn fat by up to 73%! When you drink a considerable amount, it interferes with your ability to control your actions. This could be a negative if you consider yourself as a binge-eater and eat more calories than you should. Often times, this binge-eating occurs later in the evening acting as a double whammy as your digestive system slows down at this time. Alcohol is not completely damaging as some state that drinking a glass of red wine can actually provide many benefits to your body. However, too much of a good thing can easily turn into a bad thing so it’s important to keep things in moderation.

3. DRINK LOTS OF FLUIDS

options. It’s been said that protein can ramp up your calorie burn by as much as 35%! Some additional sources of protein include nuts, yogurt, cheese, eggs, milk, navy beans, dried lentils and peanut butter. Eating healthier is sometimes a hard commitment for many people. Should I eat that chocolate cake or…? Well, in my opinion it’s okay to eat some of the things you enjoy. For many people it comes down to staying committed to their weight loss goals. By eating healthier and cutting down on sugar, starch and processed foods, you’ll feel happier with more energy. So should you eat that chocolate cake? Probably not, but look towards healthier alternatives such as a few pieces of dark chocolate to crush that craving.

Though under-estimated, vitamins can improve your metabolism and overall health throughout your training or weight loss program. Purepharma D3 is great for preserving metabolism-revving muscle tissue. Vitamin D deficiency can lead to muscle weakness, osteopenia, osteoporosis, bone fractures, insulin resistance, cognitive impairment, lowered immune defense and much more. Researchers conclude that only about 4% of Americans over 50 take in enough vitamin D through their diet. How much vitamin D do you take in? Aside from the Sun (which seems to disappear behind the rain clouds in Vancouver half the year) are you eating vitamin D rich foods? A 3.5-ounce serving of salmon can give you approximately 90% of your daily recommended amount. Other Vitamin D rich foods include: tuna, shrimp, tofu and eggs. Jump-starting your metabolism with a protein shake is an awesome way to burn off calories and give your workout an edge. No matter what fitness stage you’re currently at, eating healthy and exercising frequently is the best option for cutting loose those extra calories. The more you work your metabolism the harder it works for you. Your body is your greatest tool, just remember the best way to find your fitness success is to… KEEP MOVING!

5. PURCHASE VITAMINS & SUPPLEMENTS

metabolism including increased stamina, ﬂexibility, motivation, weight control, and quality of life. When it comes to working out, there are many different forms of exercises you could be doing. So which will have the greatest positive eﬀect on your metabolism? While cardio has a positive effect on your metabolism, the best method is weight lifting and strength training. This works the muscles the greatest and can lead to burning the most calories at the end of the day. It’s important to work a variety of muscles to get the best outcome. Remember to give your muscles the appropriate amount of rest to reduce the risk of injury.

Many thanks to Marissa Jesko for her fitness tips and articles through Fitness Town

Does Your Metabolism Need A Boost?

ASK AN EXPERT: Dynamic

Exercise is the key component when keeping your body healthy and in shape. Exercising or moving about your day in general will burn calories. The more you work your muscles, the more calories you will burn. There are many beneﬁts to exercising aside from raising your

4. EXERCISE OFTEN

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can help fat burn by as much as 30%. Aim for about 25 grams a day which is about three servings each of fruits and vegetables. Alongside fruits and veggies is protein. You don’t necessarily need to consume meat to get your daily requirement of protein, so, fret not vegetarians and vegans! For those who do eat meat, its a good idea to select lean meat

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WARNING SIGNS OF INSANITY FOR PROGRAMMERS 1. You stay up all night coding only to realize that you haven’t had any caffeine in about 6 hours. 2. You wonder why on earth anyone would make a programming language conform to such absolutely bizarre rules of grammar but in a strange way it actually begins to make sense. 3. You start dreaming in recursion (if you have any time to dream). 4. You realize not only is it daytime but your project is due in 2 hours, which isn’t enough time to even begin running it. 5. You start customizing your environment because you want it “just right” (and because further work on the program is futile). 6. You wonder when the invasion will begin. 7. You understand #8. 8. You start signing your name in octal (or binary) just because. 9. You know more programming commands than actual words. 10. You realize that you have reached the end, and there is no closing command. LETTUCE A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: “Dear Husband, I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?” The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replied in a letter: “Dear Wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where I hid all the money.” A week or so later, he received another letter from his wife: “Dear Husband, You wouldn’t believe what

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23 happened, some men came with shovels to the house, and dug up all the back garden.” The prisoner wrote another letter back: “Dear wife, now is the best time to plant the lettuce.” THE PHOTOGRAPHER The photographer for a national magazine was assigned to get photos of an enormous forest fire. Smoke at the scene was too thick to get any good shots, so he frantically called his home office to hire a plane. “It will be waiting for you at the airport!” he was assured by his editor. As soon as he got to the small, rural airport, sure enough, a plane was warming up near the runway. He jumped in with his equipment and yelled, “Let’s go! Let’s go!” The pilot swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air. “Fly over the north side of the fire,” said the photographer, “and make three or four low level passes.” “Why,” asked the pilot. “Because I’m going to take pictures! I’m a photographer, and photographers take pictures!” said the photographer with great exasperation and impatience. After a long pause the pilot said, “You mean you’re not the instructor?” GOD A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me… They must be Gods! A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me… I must be a God!

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KID’S CORNER with

ISAIAH So these two roaches, Tom and Oscar, are hanging out next to a dumpster enjoying a snack. “Hey Tom,” said Oscar to his friend, “You know that restaurant down the block? I went there yesterday to pick up some scraps, and I couldn’t believe how clean it was, I could practically see my reﬂection through the shiny waxed ﬂoor.” “Oscar,” hollered Tom spitting the food out of his mouth, “please not while I am eating!!” Q: What did the lawyer name his daughter? A: Sue. Q: What has a bottom at its top? A: A leg. PuPIL: “Would you punish me for something I didn’t do?” teACHeR: “Of course not.” PuPIL: “Good, because I haven`t done my homework.”

Knock, knock Who’s there? Police. Police who? Police let me in. I forgot my keys. Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Arthur. Arthur who? Arthur any more questions? Knock knock. Who’s there? Amos. Amos who? Amosquito just bit me!

Q: How do two horses greet each other? A: Hay.

Tenth Street and Carnarvon Street.

~ Submitted by Ana Maria Constantinescu

Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7,8,9. ~ Submitted by Singh Sonia

“I’m not overweight. I’m just nine inches too short.” ~ Shelley Winters

24 ADMINISTRATIUM Investigators at a major research institute have discovered the heaviest element known to science. This startling new discovery has been tentatively named Administratium (Ad). The new element has no protons or electrons, thus having an atomic number of 0. It does, however, have 1 neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons, and 111 assistant vice neutrons, for an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by a force called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it came into contact. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Administratium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take less than a second. Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons, viceneutrons, and assistant vice neutrons exchange places. In fact, an Administratium sample’s mass will actually increase over time, since with each reorganization some of the morons inevitably become neutrons, forming new isotopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Administratium is formed whenever morons reach a certain concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as the “Critical Morass”.

SOLUTION TO PUZZLE #24 PICTOGRAPH B Y R O S S H O O D 1 2

2 5

1 16

11 1 9 14 14 1

2 18

2 20 2 18 16 20

August 2016

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FRONT STREET: Closed for cars, open for people! Front Street businesses are open during construction.

“I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.” ~ Robin Williams

26 HEADING SOUTH As migration approached, two elderly vultures doubted they could make the trip south, so they decided to go by airplane. When they checked their baggage, the attendant noticed that they were carrying two dead raccoons. “Do you wish to check the raccoons through as luggage,” she asked. “No, thanks,” replied the vultures. “They’re carrion.”

UNSAFE CONDITION NEEDS TO BE DEALT WITH A Fire Protection Officer may request a property owner to repair, remove, or secure derelict or rundown properties. These types of properties can create fire and life safety hazards by being a target for arson and vandalism. Debris and structural hazards can also create a life safety issue by impeding emergency personnel’s clear and safe access to the property during an emergency. If a Fire Protection Officer finds any of these issues, they may issue an Order to Remedy Conditions.

ORDER TO REMEDY CONDITIONS BYLAW SNIPPET BYLAW 6940, 2004

SECTION 15: Without limiting the generality of Section 14, a Fire Protection Officer may, in writing, order that: 15.1: the occupier destroy or repair premises, in whole or in part, and, if the occupier fails to destroy or repair the premises as required and within the time period set out in the order, the Fire Protection Officer may carry out or cause to be carried out the required destruction or repairs at the cost of the occupier; 15.2: the occupier alter the use or occupancy of premises; 15.3: premises be secured by the occupier, or in default of the occupier securing the premises within the time set out in the order, may make the premises secure at the cost of the owner or occupier; 15.4: the occupier remove or take proper precautions against a fire hazard.

New Westminster Fire & Rescue Services Fire Prevention Office, 1 East 6th Avenue, New Westminster, BC V3L 4G6

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August 2016

BRIAN AND LORRAINE Brian was dating Lorraine and they were very close. While they were dating he met another woman named Clearly and wanted to start dating her but felt that he should be faithful to Lorraine. So he continued to date Lorraine. One day Brian took Lorraine on a walk in the woods by the river. As they were walking near the river Lorraine fell in and was washed away. Brian softly sang, “I can see Clearly now, Lorraine has gone…” RABBIT RESUSCITATION A man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road and got out to see what had become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit was dead. The driver felt so awful he began to cry. A woman driving down the highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong. “I feel terrible,” he explained. “I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it.” The woman told the man not to worry. She knew what to do. She went to he car trunk and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp, dead rabbit, and sprayed the contents of the can onto the rabbit. Miraculously, the rabbit came to life, jumped up, waved its paw at the two humans and hopped down the road. 50 meters away the rabbit stopped, turned around, waved at the two again, hopped down the road another 50 meters, turned, waved, and hopped another 50 meters. The man was astonished. He couldn’t figure out what substance could be in the woman’s spray can! He ran | L O C A L LY P U B L I S H E D S I N C E 2 0 0 0

over to the woman and demanded, “What was in your spray can? What did you spray onto that rabbit?” The woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label. It said: “‘Hare Spray’ Restores Life to Dead Hare. Ads Permanent Wave.” THE CAPTAIN AND THE YOUNG ENSIGN A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of sea duty when he was given an opportunity to display his ability at getting the ship under way. With a stream of crisp commands, he had the decks buzzing with men. The ship steamed out of the channel and soon the port was far behind. The ensign’s efficiency has been remarkable. In fact, the deck was abuzz with talk that he had set a new record for getting a destroyer under way. The ensign glowed at his accomplishment and was not all surprised when another seaman approached him with a message from the captain. He was, however, a bit surprised to find that it was a radio message, and he was even more surprised when he read, “My personal congratulations upon completing your underway preparation exercise according to the book and with amazing speed. In your haste, however, you have overlooked one of the unwritten rules — Make Sure The Captain Is Aboard Before Getting Under Way.” MISSING HUSBAND A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description. She said, “He’s 35 years old, 6 foot 4, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is soft-spoken, and is good to the children.” The next-door neighbor protested, “Your husband is 5 foot 4, chubby, bald, has a big mouth, and is mean to your children.” The wife replied, “Yes, but who wants HIM back?” THE DOCTOR WAS YELLING A new nurse listened while the doctor was yelling, “Typhoid! Tetanus! Measles!” The new nurse asked another nurse, “Why is he doing that?” The other nurse replied, “Oh, he just likes to call the shots around here.”

SARGENT’S CITY SCENE NEW WESTMINSTER INSTALLS TRIAL DOG RELIEF STATION

ith the dog population in the downtown on the rise there has been an increase in dog waste appearing on the sidewalks. To address the issue, the City of New Westminster has installed a one-year trial dog relief station at the southeast corner of Begbie and Columbia Streets. The relief station is located within a portion of an existing garden bed and features fences, a bag dispenser, and artificial turf specifically designed for dogs to do their business. “We’re privileged to have a beautiful and historic downtown but, unfortunately, with more dogs living in the area dog waste has become an issue,” said Parks and Recreation Manager Jay Young, “We encourage dog owners to take advantage of this creative and convenient option when walking their dogs in the downtown core.” Unlike larger off-leach dog areas where dogs can socialize and exercise, the dog relief station is not an off-leash area and is designed specifically for dogs to relieve themselves. Over the next year staff will consider how often the dog relief station is being used, its impact on the amount of dog waste left on city sidewalks, along with feedback from downtown residents and businesses. Community members are encouraged to provide their input by emailing active@newwestcity.ca. continued on page 28

“I’ve always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.” ~ Billy Connolly

28 continued from page 27

SAPPER CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN

AUTO WASH STARTING AT

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Evacuation Plans

Full colour plans on metallic, white or clear backgrounds, with or without protective acrylic sheets.

Door Sliders

A variety of colours, typestyles and holder ﬁnishes available

Washroom Signs

A variety of colours and sizes available all conforming to pictogram standards.

Direction Signs

We create custom signs on all kinds of materials; Sintra, Lamicoid, plywood, coroplast.

SALES: 604-657-5600 EMAIL: info@canengrave.com www.canengrave.com August 2016

ccording to New Westminster Lions Club and Sapperton Pensioners Association, “It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas!” On Saturday, August 20th, their “Deck Sapperton Hall for Buchanan Lodge” event begins with a pancake breakfast from 9:00 a.m. to 10:30 a.m. Doors open for craft and “White Boomer” table sales at 9:30 a.m. until 3:00 p.m. Sapperton Pensioners’ Hall, located at 318 Keary Street, is a 5 minute walk up from Sapperton Skytrain Station and very close to Royal Columbian Hospital. “What the Dickens will be happening”, you might ask? After enjoying the $5.00 Sapper flapjacks & sausage breakfast, includes entry fee of $2.00, served by local firefighters and Lions, peruse yuletide treasures featured at craft vendor and “White Boomer” tables. Table rentals $25.00, includes pancake breakfast, call 604-522-0280. “White Boomer cratchet clutter”, features gently used items that “can be bought for a song”, or at least a Christmas Carol. Enjoy a complimentary shortbread while considering answers to our Sapperton Trivia contest and wait for your name to be called in the hourly Kris Kringle prize draws. All good boys and girls, 10 years of age and under, may select a free gift from our sparkling “Sapper” tree. For the past 69 years, New West Lions have provided personalized gifts for each of the 110 senior residents in Sapperton’s Buchanan Lodge, as well as hosting a Christmas party replete with refreshments and entertainment. For the past 9 years, New West Lions have raised these funds through participating in the Quayside Boardwalk Sale, whose coordinator’s focus has been supporting community charities. Regrettably the Quayside Boardwalk Sale, held in August and attended by 10,000 annually, has been cancelled due to two other huge events planned on the same weekend in New West, among other complicating factors. The loss of this specific revenue source continued on page 31 | L O C A L LY P U B L I S H E D S I N C E 2 0 0 0

29 FORGET ME NOT Two elderly couples were enjoying a friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, “Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?” “Outstanding,” Fred replied. “They taught us all the latest psychological techniques: visualization, association, etc. It was great.” “That’s great! And what was the name of the clinic?” Fred went blank. He thought and thought, but couldn’t remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, “What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?” “You mean a rose?” “Yes, that’s it!” He turned to his wife, “Rose, what was the name of that memory clinic?” A GOOD CATCH A man who lived in a block of apartments thought it was raining and put his head out the window to check. As he did so, a glass eye fell into his hand. He looked up to see where it came from just in time to notice a young woman looking down. “Is this yours,” he asked. She said, “Yes, could you bring it up,” and the man agreed. On his arrival she was profuse in her thanks and offered the man a drink. Because she was very attractive, he agreed. Shortly afterward she said, “I’m about to have dinner — there’s plenty. Would you like to join me?” He readily accepted her offer and both enjoyed a lovely meal. As the evening was drawing to a close the lady said, “I’ve had a marvelous evening. Would you like to stay the night?” The man hesitated then said, “Do you act like this with every man you meet?” “No,” she replied. “Only those who catch my eye.” HE LOVES GOLF A man playing golf by himself at Pebble Beach was teamed with a twosome. After a few holes, the twosome finally asked why he was playing such a beautiful course by himself. He replied that he & his wife had played the course every year for over 20 years, but this year she had passed away and he kept the tee time in her memory. The twosome commented that they thought certainly someone would have been willing to take her spot. “ So did I” he said, “but they all wanted to go to the funeral”

POET’S CORNER with

JANET KVAMMEN

VICE-PRESIDENT, ROYAL CITY LITERARY ARTS SOCIETY

Diversity

Community Pride is revealed in New West. Diversity here is a regular guest. We wish to proclaim: We’ve been here all along. We’re neighbours and friends and we’re singing our song. We feel what we feel and we are who we are, We follow our dreams and we find our own star. We celebrate loving our whole family And celebrate choice with a true harmony. For love is so precious, elusive and rare We shouldn’t deny any feelings we share. Where hearts are concerned, we will go where they lead, When truth can be spoken, our spirits are freed. We celebrate Pride Week with colour and zest. We know that our city is really the best. We’re joyful and gay and flamboyant with flair. We thank New Westminster for showing you care.

I enjoy rhyme, rhythm and romance. My favourite poets all happen to be Roberts: Burns, Service and Swanson. It is a privilege and pleasure to be included in the Piffle group of poets.

Welcoming New Westminster Poets! Please submit your “New West” poems by emailing Janet at janetkvammen@rclas.com Visit www.poeticjusticenewwest.org and www.rclas.com for all the latest events.

“If I had to live my life again, I’d make the same mistakes, only sooner.” ~ Tallulah Bankhead

MATH MADNESS

Try to fill in the missing numbers. Use the numbers 1 through 9 to complete the equations. Each number is only used once. Each row is a math equation. Each column is a math equation. Remember that multiplication and division are performed before addition and subtraction. Find solution in the next Piffle!

THE TOP TEN DIFFERENCES BETWEEN 1. Dogs come when you call them. Cats take a message and get back to you when they are good and ready. 2. Dogs will let you give them a bath without taking out a contract on your life. 3. Dogs will greet you and lick your face when you come home from work. Cats will be mad that you went to work at all. 4. Dogs will bark to wake you up if the house is on fire. Cats will quietly sneak out the back door. 5. Dogs will bring you your slippers or the evening newspaper. Cats might bring you a dead mouse.

Piffle’s MATH MADNESS SOLUTION FROM THE PREVIOUS PIFFLE MAGAZINE August 2016

NUMBER BLOCKS

Try to fill in the missing numbers. The missing numbers are integers between 0 and 9. The numbers in each row add up to totals to the right. The numbers in each column add up to the totals along the bottom. The diagonal lines also add up the totals to the right. Find solution in the next Piffle!

CATS AND DOGS 6. Dogs will tilt their heads and listen whenever you talk. Cats will yawn and close their eyes. 7. Dogs will play Frisbee with you all afternoon. Cats will take a three-hour nap. 8. Dogs will sit on the car seat next to you. Cats have to have their own private box or they will not go at all. 9. Dogs will sit, lie down, and heel on command. Cats will smirk and walk away. 10. Dogs will give you unconditional love forever. Cats will make you pay for every mistake you’ve ever made since the day you were born.

Piffle’s NUMBER BLOCKS SOLUTION FROM THE PREVIOUS PIFFLE MAGAZINE | L O C A L LY P U B L I S H E D S I N C E 2 0 0 0

31 continued from page 28

has impacted our Lions Club “Buchanan Lodge Christmas” fund significantly. Sapperton Pensioners have “hitched” themselves to this special Santa sleigh with Lions to fill the seniors’ wishlist. They are appealing to the elfish nature of Royal City residents and neighbours to participate in the blizzard of goodwill, raising the spirits of Buchanan seniors in the coming dark days of winter. On Saturday, August 20th, 2016 plan to rent a table, bargain hunt and “mix and mingle to a jingling beat” at Sapperton Pensioners’ Hall , 318 Keary Street between 9:00 a.m. and 3:00 p.m. Make this a Christmas for Buchanan Lodge seniors to remember as “Christmas is forever, not just for one day. The good you do for others is good you do for yourself”. Louisa Lundy Vic Leach NW Lions Club Event Coordinator Sapperton OA Pensioners Rep louisalion@gmail.com or 604-522-0280 (table rentals).

REFRESHED CITY WEBSITE

he City of New Westminster is pleased to launch a refreshed website featuring improved site navigation, new features, and an updated look and feel. “Our public website is one of the primary sources for city information, so it is essential that information can be found quickly and efficiently” said Mayor Jonathan Coté. “The refreshed City of New Westminster website incorporates many best practices in website design creating an improved user experience.” Under the guidance of the communications department, a website committee comprising staff representatives from each city department was formed to provide direction and feedback on the project. The redesign process also included consultation with the public through an online survey and a community focus group to better understand how residents, businesses, and visitors use the site and access information. Working with award-winning website design firm Graphically Speaking and web developers Smallbox, the website committee reviewed local government sites from around the world and incorporated the latest in best practices and user experience design. Key features of the refreshed website include a new eight tab navigation structure, a new “I Want to” section, online services page, improved calendar of events and projects on the go feature, and enhanced “What’s Happening” section on the homepage. Additionally,

604-517-1230

oktirenw@shaw.ca 325A 12th Street New Westminster

Check out our seasonal specials! ANDREW LOCHHEAD, GM

New Westminster at one time had a large Chinatown. Where was it centered?

continued on page 32

“If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?” ~ Abraham Lincoln

32 continued from page 31

WORKING FOR YOU

For Over 31 Years

the Parks and Recreation website has now been incorporated into the City of New Westminster site to provide easier access to service and program information. The refreshed website is also fully optimized for mobile devices. The new website can be viewed at www.newwestcity.ca.

CITY OF NEW WESTMINSTER IS NOW OPEN FOR FOOD TRUCKS

604-644-0141

www.EdGoss.com edjgoss@gmail.com Ed Goss

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n Monday, July 4, New Westminster City Council approved a bylaw that allows food trucks to operate at seven different locations within the city after receiving a business license. Food trucks may operate in existing on-street parking space at the approved locations on a first-come first-serve basis. All trucks may operate from 6:00 am to 1:00 am except for trucks in front of the Royal Columbian Hospital, who may operate 24/7. Food Trucks may not operate within 100 metres of restaurants serving similar cuisine. Operators can apply for an annual or single event license

We are Open and have a for the duration of the Front St. Mews project. 649 Front St (Corner of McKenzie St) New Westminster, BC 604-540-8907 | www.winefactory.ca Call to check on road and parking conditions during the ongoing roadwork.

August 2016

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33 at the Business Licensing counter on the main floor of City Hall. Approvals from other agencies required for a license include the New Westminster Fire Department, BC Safety Authority and the Fraser Health Authority.

NEW MEMBERS WELCOME!

THE VAUDEVILLIANS — ENTERTAINING THROUGHOUT THE LOWER MAINLAND SINCE 2002!

he Vaudevillians are an amazing group of seniors, currently average age of 77 years, dedicated to entertaining seniors, and supporting youth, while p er forming and enjoying the camaraderie and support of each other. While singing and dancing they keep active physically and mentally, remembering dance steps and words of the songs they sing. They are all very dedicated volunteers. The group was formed 14 years ago under the directorship of Susie Francis, daughter of Fran Dowie, a well know Vaudevillian actor for many years. When the decision was made to incorporate as a non-profit group, they felt it was important to have a cause. After meeting with, and agreeing to a joint venture with Douglas College, a Perpetual Bursary was established to support Performing Arts Students. This Bursary has grown to $100,500 in 13 years. It is supported with the proceeds from an annual show held at the Surrey Arts Centre every November. The 14th annual show is scheduled for November 12 and 13, both days at 2:00 p.m. The students who have been awarded Bursaries have been very grateful for the assistance they received. Some saying “Without this money, I would have had to drop out of school.” It is a wonderful feeling to be able to help young people who are in financial distress. Recently we have lost some of our key people and presently looking to replace several positions. Our MC and Artistic Director have resigned, each for different personal reasons. The MC position requires a person who is comfortable speaking on stage and can connect with the audience. Experience directing in theatre is a prerequisite for the Artistic Director. We are continued on page 34

nwspartans.org

2016

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34 continued from page 33

also looking for a sound tech and additional backstage assistance. Training can be offered for these positions. Singers, dancers, comedians and any performers who have vaudevillian inspired acts are welcomed to attend our rehearsals and if interested in becoming part of our show, an audition can be arranged. Rehearsals are held Monday afternoon, 1:00 p.m. at Kennedy Senior Centre in North Delta. Interested parties please contact entertainment@thevaudevillians.com or phone 604-541-9591.

COLUMBIA STREAT FOOD TRUCK FEST

Prescriptions & Compounding At Longevity Compounding Pharmacy, we truly care for our patients. We are dedicated to deliver the highest quality of Pharmaceutical care possible. We are dedicated to serving the special needs of physicians and their patients through custom prescription compounding.

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604.544.7760 711 Columbia Street New Westminster, BC - V3M 1B2

August 20, 4:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m. Columbia St, New Westminster he Columbia StrEAT Food Truck Fest is back on August 20th, 2016 presented by the Downtown New Westminster Business Association! It is now the biggest one day food truck festival in Canada, with over 90+ trucks, 24 shaded patios, and 6 beer gardens. Happening from 4:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m. located all along Columbia Street, this food truck festival is certainly something you won’t want to miss! Details, including a list of trucks coming soon.

SAVING OUR STONES August 4, 7, 13, 17, 10:00 a.m. to 12:00 p.m., Fraser Cemetery

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he New Westminster Museum is continuing last summer’s successful program to help the public preserve the City’s grave markers. Under the guidance of museum staff, local groups and individuals are invited to volunteer their time to clean gravestones using best practices. This is a unique way for the community to work together and show respect to those who came before them. Registration required. For more details or to register, please call 604-5274640 or email museum@newwestcity.ca. | L O C A L LY P U B L I S H E D S I N C E 2 0 0 0

35 MLA’S REPORT By Judy Darcy

A quilted map of New Westminster? Yes, it exists! And you can stop by my community office at 737 Sixth Street this month to check out the incredible work of quilt artist Terry Aske. Her artwork will be on display at my office for the New Westminster Cultural Crawl. Terry began working with this artistic medium in 1998 — and hasn’t looked back! You can check out her beautiful creations on her website www.terryaskeartquilts.com — but nothing compares to seeing them for yourself at my office this month!

Got plans on Friday night? Ever find yourself wondering what to do on a Friday night? Why not catch a film at the free, outdoor Summer Movie Series at Queen’s Park Stadium? This Citysponsored event encourages residents to bring their comfiest lawn chair, warmest blanket and favourite snacks and gather in Queen’s Park Stadium for a family friendly film. You can find a listing of the films on the

City of New Westminster events page on their website www.newwestcity.ca.

Ready to celebrate? One of our city’s largest events, the New West Pride Festival, takes place August 6 to 13 — and it is growing in popularity each year! The New Westminster Pride Columbia Street Party closes down Columbia Street for local talent, organizations and residents to celebrate diversity and respect for people of all sexual orientations and gender identities. Stop by my community booth to pick up a colourful rainbow fan to keep you cool during all the excitement. The front window of my community office is always filled with posters about local events. Grab a seat on the DUC (Downtown-Uptown Commuter) and come see what’s happening in the city!

Photo by Gabor Gasztonyi

We can’t wait to host your next event.

Sapperton Pensioners’ Hall

can accommodate up to 275 people and is perfect for weddings, dances, dinners, fundraisers, birthday parties, lunches, reunions, memorials, craft markets, filming, meetings, and displays.

• 14' x 25' stage, P/A system, upright piano • 3,500 sq. ft. of open area upstairs with a hardwood floor

• Downstairs has 3,500 sq. ft., linoleum floor, kitchen facilities

• Parking for 30 cars, close to Sapperton SkyTrain Station

• Less than 5 minutes from Pattullo Bridge or Hwy #1 exit

S A PPERTON P ENSIONERS ’ H A LL

318 Keary St, New Westminster • Call 604-522-0280 to book your space today “If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.” ~ Abraham Lincoln

BUSINESS DIRECTORY

/issue

HOUSEKEEPERS NEEDED!

Contact Chris today!

604-525-9027

chrissargent@piffle.ca

106-310 8th St, New West

Merry Maids is a growing business and needs hard working, trustworthy, and dedicated friendly staff. Completive wages offered. Apply at #426-604 Columbia St, New West

MOON CONSTRUCTION

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Knox Presbyterian Church

403 E Columbia St, New West

604.524.6712

The Rev. Richard Watson, Minster

Regular Sunday Service at 11am

Specializing In

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All your carpentry & handyman needs

RENAISSANCE BOOKS

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August 2016

SERVING YOUR COMMUNITY 325 6th Street New Westminster, BC Tel: 604-521-0363 Service at 11am See you at church!

Mount Calvary Lutheran Church 701 - 6th St, New Westminster Divine Service & Sunday School: 11:00 am Sundays

Tel: 604-521-2007

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604.299.9538 info@lhohcf.ca lhohcf.ca We are a multi-cultural community church where everyone is welcome— AND WE REALLY MEAN IT!

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37 SOME MODERN WISDOM 1. Home is where you hang your @. 2. The email of the species is more deadly than the mail. 3. A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click. 4. You can’t teach a new mouse old clicks. 5. Great groups from little icons grow. 6. Speak softly and carry a cellular phone. 7. In some places, C:\ is the root of all directories. 8. Oh, what a tangled Website we weave when first we practice. 9. Pentium wise, pen and paper foolish. 10. The modem is the message. 11. Too many clicks spoil the browse. 12. The geek shall inherit the earth. 13. Don’t byte off more than you can view. 14. Fax is stranger than fiction. 15. What boots up must come down. 16. Windows will never cease. 17. Virtual reality is its own reward. 18. Modulation in all things. 19. Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, teach him to use the Net and he won’t bother you for weeks. 20. There’s no place like your homepage. TECH SUPPORT HELPING BEGINNERS Tech Support: “I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.” Customer: “OK.” Tech Support: “Did you get a pop-up menu?” Customer: “No.” Tech Support: “OK. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?” Customer: “No.” Tech Support: “OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?” Customer: “Sure, you told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote click’.” PEANUTS A boy always asks for 50 cents from his mother. So his mother questioned the boy on why he kept asking for 50 cents. The boy replied that his friend told him that if you eat 50 cents worth of peanuts a day you would become smarter. Quickly his mother gave him $5. The boy asks “Why $5,” and the mother replied, “Buy 50 cents of peanut for yourself and buy peanuts for your father with the balance.” “If you look like your passport photo, you’re too ill to travel.” ~ Will Kommen

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OVERVIEW:

BREAKDOWN:

4345 Fleming St., Vancouver BC Single family houses & duplex on strata lot - Project layout - Recent comparable sales of similar properties - Map Have a chance to invest in the Vancouver Real Estate Market at a reasonable price point. Reserve your choice of 3 different units with a deposit given now & realize the appreciation before the spring market of 2017(anticipated completion date). Investors will be given consent to list & assign units prior to completion w/o any penalty. All the units range between 1113 sq. ft. and have 3 bedrooms, 2.5 bathrooms over 2 levels. All units have 1 allocated on-site parking spot. The duplex unit has a one car garage only.

Presale purchase price (Todays buy in) Duplex 1.1M Centre units 1.15M Front units 1.3M

Anticipated sale prices (Feb 2017 completion)* 1.250M-1.3M 1.3M-1.35M 1.45M-1.5M

Deposit required 200K 250K 350K

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*The speculative appreciation is anticipated to be higher for the stand alone units than shown Anticipated values are speculative and not guaranteed Check recent sales data & research market trends before committing

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