Piffle Magazine 2017-04 by Sargent's Piffle

YOUR DIABETES RESOURCE CENTRE

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981 Carnarvon St New Westminster

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CITY SCENE MAGAZINE

Massage Makes a Difference Day

April 2017 Issue #199

O pe n H o u s e Fri. April 21st 10AM-2PM

Curious about massage therapy as a benefit to your health or a potential career? The West Coast College of Massage Therapy is hosting an Open House on Friday April 21 between 10AM and 2PM. Everyone is welcome to come EXPLORE, LEARN & DISCOVER the many benefits of registered massage therapy. See details on page 20.

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“Let’s Get Ahead Together”

Roveen Kandola & Associates 2015

604-644-7653(SOLD)

Re/Max Real Estate Services N. Tower 410-650 West 41st Ave. Independently Owned and Operated.

Share your local event for free in the printed

www.piffle.ca /submit-your-event/

Peter Julian, MP New Westminster – Burnaby

Need help with federal issues such as E.I., Income Tax, Canada Pension and Canada Student Loan? Please contact Peter Julian’s Community office for assistance.

Peter Julian’s Community Office (Near New Westminster SkyTrain)

#110-888 Carnarvon St, New Westminster

Phone: 604-775-5707 l Email: peter.julian.c1@parl.gc.ca

W G K Q B L Q P L R V T G E Y X X K I A C K N R F

W O S L A N O D C T E X Z O G S Z Y R S Q V L E P

April 2017

T C R Z L H T M P C K L N S K A Y U I E N J W L H

Z S H K S H T Z H W J Q W D D M S A S I B E K A V

Q V A K S H S N B T B Y M H F Z L S A U S L G X U

Z L R O E H I N G R E E L X F M X R A T U M H A A

S O Y R C Q O N O Y M U B J P Q A N F M P L M T S

W E A H U K R P P I D K V A T B Z K E H R I N I P

E P C E G W H L S Z T S B I C M I O Z A Q K H O R

Y H S Z X J Y W R J H A M Y S J P E S N U J I N B

E G E L L O C G F D J X T E G X E P X D L P F N B

W E L L B E I N G W P V R N W T A L A S U R F P S

X T W H S R C S S O W A Y E E D O C S O S J X T F

V P M W E Z J A J A C Z B G X S Y T A N T T N M A

K C Q U K C M W Z Q F B Q B X T E V E R I W Z K K

O N J H A Y O G T K N V F K U I I R A K E V C H Z

N W X J M L R S G E E R S D X B J G P N D E B W R

X T X C H N K H X S F Z W Q B I V I S U A L R U X

U H E A T L C O I W W M D K B H T D H J U D E R J

Y H S C I H U Z D Z P S E C S X E T P T K C A G Q

E T K Q R H H H Z W R Y R C H E L C O I C I H B I

E C N E R E F F I D K T P W Q A Q Y B G D Z R J F

X W G J W H X M G U L N G R E O T V A T I G V V N

R I A H C I V N W R V R C H E C V S R X S I Q E X

H E S D K H B S B P M D J T Z F L W I K T Z U F F

WORD SEARCH CAREER

PRESENTATIONS

CHAIR

RELAXATION

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TECHNIQUES THERAPY

DIFFERENCE VISUAL EXHIBITS HANDS-ON HEALTH

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“My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.” ~ Mitch Hedberg

Locally Published Since 2000 Fourth floor, 604 Columbia St New Westminster, BC V3M 1A5

Chris Sargent 604-525-9027

Owner & Publisher chrissargent@piffle.ca

Verne Siebert 604-763-6304

Sales Representative vernesiebert@piffle.ca Graphic Design: Cliff Blank Email: production@piffle.ca

www.piﬄe.ca

Sargent’s Word Search �� 2

New Westminster Fire and

Imperial Pharmacy Community Page �� 7

Growing with Purpose by

MLA’s Report by Judy Darcy �� 9

Rescue Services �� 26 Jennifer Morrison �� 27

A-Maze-In �� 12

Piffle Quiz �� 29

Sargent’s Crossword �� 12

Puzzle Solutions �� 29

Fraser Valley Antiques & Collectibles Show �� 14

Poet’s Corner with

Horoscopes by Liza �� 17

Kid’s Corner with Isaiah �� 18 Feature: Massage Makes a Difference Day �� 20 Tales from the Trenches by Evelyn Benson �� 22 Sargent’s Math Madness �� 23 Sargent’s Number Blocks �� 23

Janet Kvammen �� 30 Pictograph by Ross Hood �� 30 Sargent’s Sudoku! �� 30 Piffle Quiz Answer �� 31 Strata Living by Tony Gioventu �� 32 Piffle Business Directory �� 36 Waddington Wealth

Management Group �� 37

604.644.SOLD

www.sellvancouverhomes.com RE/MAX Real Estate Services 410 - 650 West 41st Avenue, North Office Tower, Vancouver, BC V5Z 2M9 Independently owned and operated

April 2017

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HEAR BETTER FEEL BETTER UP TO 25% OFF Hearing Aids for Legion Members, Family and Friends! Contact us for a FREE Hearing Consultation

CALL 604.332.5534 SIMPLE HEARING SOLUTIONS

TO BOOK AN APPOINTMENT FOR YOURSELF OR A LOVED ONE!

helping people hear since 2009.

Simple Hearing Solutions is a family owned and operated business with a focus on service and helping people listen to life for 8 years. We are dedicated to helping you improve your quality of life through innovative communication technology in harmony with professional and friendly service. At our clinic, you will be treated like a friend, we will answer any and all questions about the best solutions available to adapt to your lifestyle and budget.

108-7885 6th Street Burnaby, BC V3N 3N4 www.simplehearing.ca

Authorized Provider

YOUR DIABETES RESOURCE CENTRE Review Us on

✔ FREE In-Store Blood Pressure Monitoring ✔ FREE Blister Packing Most Extended Health Plans accepted. Easy transfer of prescriptions. Serving New Westminster since 2003. We thank all of you for your continued support over the years!

PHOTO: Gabor Gasztonyi

NO WE CARE ABOUT YOUR HEALTH TOBACCO WE CARE ABOUT YOUR KIDS HEALTH WE ARE PROUD TO NOT SELL TOBACCO

More Space + More Products + More Services HOURS: MON TO FRI 9AM–6PM SAT 9AM–2:30PM • SUN 9AM–1:30PM

981 Carnarvon St, New Westminster

604.523.6767

April 2017

sue? Missing an is ACY RM A PH L IM PE RIA y rr ca is pleased to sues -is ck ba e th many of year. from the past

Visit us ONLINE at ImperialPharmacy.ca

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IMPERIAL PHARMACY NEW VISTA CARE HOME SPRING MARKET New Vista Care Home Spring Market on Saturday April 29 from 10:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m. at 7550 Rosewood Street, Burnaby. Live music at 12:30 p.m. with the Unmentionables. Silent Auction, Raffle, Refreshments include hot dogs and Hippie Chips. All proceeds go to the New Vista V’s Auxiliary working to improve the lives of our care home seniors.

VAGABOND PLAYERS PRESENTS VINCI Who will shape the brilliant mind of Leonardo da Vinci and prevail in the battle for the gifted child, his peasant mother or his rich father? Padre Bartolomeo, a friend of the da Vinci family, finds himself caught between the powerful da Vinci family and Leonardo’s defiant unwed mother, the servant Caterina. A western Canadian Premiere, this enthralling show is filled with passion, possession, sacrifice, and is set in the colourful and contradictory world of the Italian Renaissance! March 30–April 23 Thursday to Saturday 8:00 p.m. Sunday 2:00 p.m. The Bernie Legge Theatre, Queen’s Park, New Westminster 604-521-0412

RCH REDEVELOPMENT OPEN HOUSE April 5, 3:30 p.m.–8:30 p.m. RCH, Sherbrooke Centre Lounge, 330 E Columbia Construction is underway on the east side of the hospital for phase one of the RCH redevelopment. You’re invited to a Open House for neighbours to see how the new Mental Health and Substance Use Wellness Centre will look, and to find out how construction may impact you. Experts from the RCH team and Bird Construction will be on hand to share info and answer your questions. Visit www.fraserhealth.ca/royalcolumbian for updates.

ANYTHING GOES April 6–23, Massey Theatre, New Westminster Royal City Musical Theatre will bring the Massey stage alive with the Tony Award winning, big tap-dancing musical, Anything Goes. Set aboard an ocean liner bound from NYC to London, it’s a stem-to-stern voyage with adrenaline-pumping tap dancing and Cole Porter’s memorable music and lyrics. The talented cast will take you on this madcap voyage singing the shows famous songs — “I Get a Kick Out of You”, “You’re the Top”, “You’d be So Easy To Love” to name a few, and the

big tap number of “Anything Goes”. Big, bold and Broadway quality, Royal City Musical Theatre never disappoints. Cost: $48 Adults, Seniors/Students $38, Children under 13 $29 604-522-4306, www.royalcitymusicaltheatre.com

CONCERT SERIES In addition to the popular Arts at One afternoon concert series, the Douglas College Music Department presents concerts of all descriptions, from Classical recitals to jazz and world music. Evening performances include concerts by Douglas College performing ensembles, student recitals, guest artists, student composers and a variety of other events. For further information or to make a group booking, please contact Krista Eide, Arts Events Officer, artsevents@douglascollege.ca or 604-527-5723.

REMARKABLE WOMEN OF IRVING HOUSE: CELEBRATING 100 YEARS OF VOTING FOR WOMEN IN BC April 8, 12:00 p.m.–4:00 p.m., Irving House, New Westminster April 2017 marks the 100th anniversary of many women gaining the vote in BC. Learn about the remarkable lives of three prominent women in Irving House’s history – Elizabeth Irving, Mary Briggs, and Mary Aline Cox. One-hour tours will run throughout the day. Contact 604-527-4640.

NEW WESTMINSTER DOWNTOWN RESIDENTS ASSOCIATION 3RD ANNUAL SPRING INDOOR FLEA MARKET Saturday April 22, 10:00 a.m.–1:30 p.m. Holy Trinity Cathedral, 514 Carnarvon St Table rental rates: Members — FREE, New Qualified Members $5. All others $10. Space is limited. If interested pre-register as soon as possible to guarantee a table by replying to president@nwdra.org with your name, address, telephone and email. The May General Meeting of the Association, will be held at Holy Trinity Cathedral on May 3 from 7:00 p.m.–9:00 p.m. The agenda will include, The Holy Trinity Romanian Orthodox Parish, Brookpooni for 813-823 Carnarvon, UrbanWest Projects for 618 Carnarvon, Pattullo Bridge Update, and the City of New Westminster Traffic Committee update. For more information, call Diane Butler at 604-777-0231.

MON TO FRI 9AM-6PM | SAT 9AM-2:30PM | SUN 9AM-1:30PM 981 Carnarvon Street, New Westminster | 604-523-6767 “Christmas, children, is not a date. It is a state of mind.” ~ Mary Ellen Chase

Pure Integrative Pharmacy combines traditional pharmacy products and services with natural remedies, supplements and holistic medications to provide an integrative approach to your health-care needs. We provide the following services: • Compounding • Natural Health Products • Professional grade vitamins and supplements • Fast prescription service

• • • •

Diabetes education Free blood pressure monitoring Free delivery service Medication management packaging

Pure Integrative Pharmacy 101-301 East Columbia Street At the corner of Keary and East Columbia Street, across from Royal Columbian Hospital Emergency Department

604-553-7145 | www.purepharmacy.com April 2017

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WHO SHOULD MAKE THE COFFEE? A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, “You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don’t have to wait as long to get our coffee.” The husband said, “You are in charge of the cooking around here so you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.”Wife replies, “No, you should do it, and besides it says in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.” Husband replies, “I can’t believe that! Show me.” So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says, “HEBREWS.” WHY GRANDPA IS 100 Grandpa was celebrating his 100th birthday and everybody complimented him on how athletic and well-preserved he appeared. “Gentlemen, I will tell you the secret of my success,” he cackled. “I have been in the open air day after day for some 75 years now.”

The celebrants were impressed and asked how he

managed to keep up his rigorous fitness regime.

He replied, “Well, you see my wife and I were

married 75 years ago. On our wedding night, we

made a solemn pledge. Whenever we had a fight, the one who was proved wrong would go outside and take a walk.”

NAME THE ANIMALS The first-grade teacher was showing pictures of

animals to her students to see how many they could

name. She held up a picture of a lamb, and a little girl said, “That’s a sheep!”

“That’s right!” said the teacher. “How about THIS

one,” she said, holding up a picture of the king of beasts.

“That’s a lion,” answered a little boy.

“Right!” said the teacher. Then she held up a picture

of a deer. No one volunteered an answer. She tried to help. “What does your mother call your father?” Johnny said, “I know! That’s a lazy old goat!”

Ages

6mo–12yrs Golden Sunshine Daycare provides a positive and safe environment where each child can grow and develop in our care. We respect each child’s need for love, security, and acceptance. Golden Sunshine Daycare is a licensed group child care in New Westminster, we are very proud of supporting our local families & community. We offer various activities for all our kids.

✔ ❏ ✔ ❏ ✔ ❏ ✔ ❏ ✔ ❏

Caring, Respectful, Experienced and Qualified Staff Certified Early Childhood Education (ECE) Certified Early Childhood Development (ECD) Certified ECD – Infant Toddler Trained in Standard or Emergency First Aid

Golden Sunshine Daycare will open our new location Royal City Centre at 610 6th Street, New Westminster. We are now Accepting Early Registration. Please contact 778-223-6676. “Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?” ~ Anonymous

CANADIAN & CHINESE CUISINE

Weekday All Day Breakfast Special Lunch & Dinner Specials starting at

$4 .95 $6

.95

There’s no need to cook at home with these prices!

Let Simon & Jenny do the cooking, serving, and the dishes while you enjoy a tasty meal. Licensed. Call about catering.

Sun to Wed 8am–8pm | Thurs to Sat 8am–9pm

609–12th St, New West | 604-525-1238

www.facebook.com/youngscafenw

Guy Quesnel 604-524-2922 771 6th Street New Westminster, BC Email guyd.quesnel@shaw.ca

A UNION BARBER SHOP

Tues to Thurs 8:30 a.m.–5:00 p.m. Friday 7:30 a.m.–5:00 p.m. Saturday 8:00 a.m.–4:00 p.m. Closed Sunday and Monday April 2017

A PRAYER FOR EASTER SUNDAY Young Ernie and his family were invited to have Easter Sunday lunch at his grandmother’s house in Monkey’s Eyebrow, Arizona. USA. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When Ernie received his plate he started eating straight away. “Ernie, wait until we say grace,” demanded his father. “I don’t have to,” the five year old replied. “Of course you do, Ernest,” his mother insisted rather forcefully. “We always say a prayer before eating at our house.” “That’s at our house,” Ernie explained, “but this is Grandma’s house, and she knows how to cook.” WHAT PRICE A SERMON? One Easter Sunday the Reverend Jones announced to his congregation, “My good people, I have here in my hands three sermons… • A $100 sermon that lasts five minutes • A $50 sermon that lasts fifteen minutes • And a $20 sermon that lasts a full hour. Now, we’ll take the collection and see which one I’ll deliver.” SPEAK ENGLISH LIKE PEOPLE FROM ENGLAND • alma chizzit — A request to find the cost of an item: how much is it? • amant — Quantity; sum total (‘Thez a yuge amant of mud in Saffend’): amount • assband — Unable to leave the house because of illness or disability: housebound • awss — A four legged animal, on which money is won, or more likely lost (‘That awss ya tipped cost me a fiver t’day’): horse • branna — More brown than on a previous occasion (‘Ere, Trace, ya look branna today, ‘ave you been on sunbed?’): browner • cort a panda — A rather large hamburger: quarter pounder • Dan in the maff — Unhappy (‘Wossmatta, Trace, ya look a bit Dan in the maff’): down in the mouth • eye-eels — Women’s shoes: heels • Furrock — The location of Lakeside Shopping Centre: Thurrock • garrij — A building where a car is kept or repaired(Trace: ‘Oi, Darren, I fink the motah needs at go in the garrij cos it aint working proper’): garage | L O C A L LY P U B L I S H E D S I N C E 2 0 0 0

• Ibeefa — Balaeric holiday island: Ibiza

• lafarjik — Lacking in energy (‘I feel all lafarjik’): lethargic

• OI OI! — Traditional greeting. Often heard from the doorway of pubs or during banging dance tunes at clubs: hello

• paipa — The Sun, The Mirror or The Sport: newspaper

• reband — The period of recovery and emotional

turmoil after rejection by a lover (‘I couldn’t elp it, I wuz on the reband from Craig’): rebound

Saturday, APRIL 22 11AM - 4PM

Scottish Cultural Centre

8886 Hudson St, Vancouver

P OP CULTURE SWAP MEET!

• Saffend — Essex coastal resort boasting the lon-

IS ADM

gest pleasure pier in the world. The place where Eastenders go on holiday: Southend

KID

• tan — The city of London, the big smoke: town

someone is. (‘Webbats is me dole card Trace? I’ve gotta sign on in arf hour’): whereabouts

• wonnid — Desired, needed or Wanted by the police: wanted

Special Guest:

MARCELO MATERE Illustrator / 2D Artist

FREE SUPER HERO CARDS TO THE

better than it actually is. (‘I told ya a fazzand times already’): exaggerate

FIRST

100

TECH HELP

GUESTS!

The computer in my high school classroom recently

one of my students came up and took over. “Your hard drive crashed,” he said.

I called the computer services office and explained,

“My computer is down. The hard drive crashed.”

“We can’t just send people down on your say so.

How do you know that’s the problem?” “A student told me,” I answered.

“We’ll send someone over right away.” FUNNY CHURCH NOTICES FOR EASTER Baptisms: After Easter, the North and South ends of

the church will be utilised. Children will be baptised at both ends.

Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours

are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world.

ND SU

• zaggerate — To suggest that something is bigger or

started acting up. After watching me struggle with it,

$3.ER 12 FREE

the characters from TV’s, popular soap opera,

• webbats — Querying the location something or

S IO

• action figures • boardgames • cameras • canucks memorabilia • CDs/DVDs/ VHS

• graphic novels • hardware • Hot Wheels • jewellery • magazines • manga • monitors • parts

• • • •

records software Star Wars toys & collectibles • video games • vintage comics • wrestling

…and lots more all at great prices! DEALER INFORMATION 8' tables $40 each, or 2 for $70!

604-521-6304 funpromo@shaw.ca

www.funpromo.ca

“God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers.” ~ Rudyard Kipling

CROSSWORD ACROSS

2. A political group is also called this. 5. To vote you must show this.

6. You must be at least this age to vote. 8. Place to vote.

9. The name used to represent the individuals running for MLA. DOWN

1. An early poll is usually referred as this type of poll. 2. The election in May is this level of government. 3. To vote you must be…

4. We do this to elect a person.

7. The papers needed to be filed to run in an election.

PIFFLE’S

BE PART OF CHANGING A CHILD’S LIFE WITH MUSIC!

HOW FAST CAN YOU GET THROUGH?

The New Westminster Citadel Corps of the Salvation Army is looking for sponsors to send kids to their Music and Performing Arts Camp in Gibsons, BC. Service Clubs, Corporation, and individuals are encouraged to help. For more information, please contact: Eva Gálvez (Aux. Captain) Pastor / Corps Officer Church Line Cell

604-521-0363 604-830-0157

Eva_Galvez@can.salvationarmy.org The Salvation Army New Westminster Citadel Corps 325 Sixth St, New Westminster

April 2017

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w w w. s e l l va n co u ve r h o m e s . co m Rove e n K a n d o l a & A s s o ci ate s R e / M ax R e a l E s tate S e r vi ce s • I n d e p e n d e ntly O wn e d a n d O p e r ate d • N . Towe r 41 0 – 6 5 0 We s t 41 s t Ave

SPRING I’m inspired by Spring weather. It can be quite thawprovoking. OLDER THAN DIRT QUIZ: Count all the ones that you remember not the ones you were told about. Your age ratings is at the bottom. • Candy cigarettes • Coffee shops with table-side juke boxes • Home milk delivery in glass bottles • Party lines on the telephone • Newsreels before the movie • TV test patterns that came on at night after the last show and were there until TV shows started again in the morning (there were only 3 channels [if you were fortunate]). • Peashooters • 45 RPM records • Wash tub wringers • Hi-fi’s • Metal ice trays with lever • Blue flashbulb • Cork popguns

• • • • •

Ford Zephyrs If you remembered 0-3 = You’re still young If you remembered 4-6 = You are getting older If you remembered 7-10 = Don’t tell your age, If you remembered 11-14 = You’re older than dirt! Don’t forget to test your really OLD friends.

THE BRITISH AT SCHOOL One day, Mrs Arnold, a teacher at Green Barn Infant School, Norwich, England, was attempting to teach the names of animals to a class of 5-year-olds. Firstly she held up a picture of a deer, and asked one boy, “Sammy, what is this animal?” Sammy looked at the picture with a disheartened look on his face and responded, “I’m sorry Mrs Arnold, I don’t know.” Mrs Arnold was not one to give up easily, so she then asked Sammy, “Well, Sammy, what does your Mummy call your Daddy?” Sammy’s face suddenly brightened up, but then a confused look spread slowly, and he asked, “Mrs Arnold, is that really a pig?”

CALL 604-520-6171 426-604 Columbia St, New Westminster

“What is it that you think about just before you get a condom? Sex!” ~ Amy Lockwood

Regular admission $5.00: Sat, April 29th, 9am to 4pm | Sun, April 30th, 10am to 3pm Early admission $20.00: Fri, April 29th, 5pm to 9pm — covers Sat & Sun (3 day pass) More info: email fvacclub@gmail.com or Google us online: FVACC

FVACC Antiques & Collectibles Show Fri/Sat/Sun Apr 28–30th 2017

Mark this in your calendar! You don’t want to miss out! 24th Annual FVACC Antiques & Collectibles Show — Biggest & Best Antique & Collectibles Show in BC! Fri. April 28th, Sat. 29th, & Sun. 30th, Queen’s Park Arena (corner of 1st Street and 3rd Avenue, New Westminster).

Regular Public Admission: $5.00 on Saturday April 29th & Sunday April 30th during regular show hours which are: Saturday: 9:00am–4:00pm; and Sunday: 10:00am–3:00pm.

What: Over 200+ tables, tons of various endless vintage collectibles and antiques: toys, radios, advertising tins and signs, oil and gas, fishing tackle, hunting and sports memorabilia, post cards, old photos, LP records, medalta, orange crush, coca-cola, Pepsi, moorcroft, movie posters, brewerania, fruit jars, soda pop/ginger beer bottles, drug stores, ephemera, old tools, books, Fire King Jadeite, Chinese Asian artifacts, tobacco, dolls, jewelry, pottery, comics, coins, stamps, Hudson Bay, Chinaware, sports, general store items, small vintage furniture, etc. — you name it; it’s here and you do not want to miss out!

Dealer Set-up Early Entry Admission (Pre-show early entry): $20.00 on Friday Evening April 28th, 5:00pm– 9:00pm. Please Note: Dealer set-up early admission allows you all 3 days admission to the show (i.e., Early Entry Time: Friday Night 5:00pm–9:00pm and during regular show hours on Sat. and Sun. (Note: There is no early entry on Sat. or Sun.).

Go to the FVACC website for more info: www.sites.google.com/site/fvaccsite Interested in joining the club? Have questions or need more information? Contact us at: FVACC, Apt #208, 122 East 18th St, North Vancouver, BC V7L 2X5 April 2017

Email: fvacclub@gmail.com or visit us online (Google us at FVACC). Don’t forget to like us on Facebook “FVAC Club” and follow us on Twitter @fvacclub. | L O C A L LY P U B L I S H E D S I N C E 2 0 0 0

$250 FREE GAS WITH ANY VEHICLE PURCHASE!* FREE MARKET APPRAISALS

CALL

Joanie Von Schribar

604-299-9181 4650 Lougheed Hwy, Burnaby New & Used Vehicles & Trucks 0% Financing on Select Models

*Please present this ad.

THE IMPORTANCE OF PUNCTUATION I’m not the easiest guy in the world to get along with. So when our anniversary rolled around, I wanted my wife to know how much I appreciated her tolerating me for the past 20 years. I ordered flowers and told the florist to enclose a card that read, “Thanks for putting up with me so long.” When my wife got the delivery, she called me at work. “Just where do you think you going,” she asked. “What do you mean?” I said. She read the card aloud as the florist had written it: ‘Thanks for putting up with me. So long.’

left, and there was a moment of silence at the table,

YOU SEE… During a dinner party, the hosts’ two little children entered the dining room totally nude and walked slowly around the table. The parents were so embarrassed that they pretended nothing was happening and kept the conversation going. The guests cooperated and also continued as if nothing extraordinary was happening. After going all the way around the room, the children

a pause, he looked up with a sly grin and said, “Sorry,

New Westminster Lions Club 2nd & 4th Mondays | 6:45 pm “Spend a little time with Lions” Boston Pizza, 1045 Columbia St, New Westminster (Tenth St & Columbia)

“We Serve” Bob Gillmore 604-789-7440

E: newwestminsterlionsclub@hotmail.com

during which one child was heard to say… “You see, it IS vanishing cream!”

GRADUATION SPEECH When my son graduated from high school, he had to give a speech. He began by reading from his prepared text.

“I want to talk about my mother and the wonderful in-

fluence she has had on my life,” he told the audience. “She is a shining example of parenthood, and I love her more than words could ever do justice.”

At this point he seemed to struggle for words. After

but it’s really hard to read my mother’s handwriting.” THE DOORBELL RINGS

The doorbell rings. A man opens the door and there’s his mother-in-law on the front step.

She asks, “Can I stay here for a few days?”

The man says, “Sure you can.” And he closes the door.

BREAKFAST • LUNCH • DINNER • DAILY SPECIALS

604-524-8118 Open 7 days a week!

636 Sixth Street Mon to Sat 7am – 8pm New Westminster Sun/Holidays 8am – 3:30pm

wafflehouserestaurant.com

“You all have a universally fatal condition. It’s called pre-death.” ~ Ivan Oransky

April 2017

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TRIP TO ALCATRAZ… A couple with three children waited in line at San Francisco’s Pier 41 to purchase tickets for a boat trip to Alcatraz. Others watched with varying degrees of sympathy and irritation as the young children fidgeted, whined, and punched one another. The frazzled parents reprimanded them to no avail. Finally they reached the ticket window. “Five tickets, please,” the father said. “Two round trip, three one way.” FEELING LISTLESS Feeling listless, I bought some expensive “brain-stimulating” pills at the health food store. But it wasn’t until I got home that I read the label. “This is just rosemary extract,” I complained to my husband. “I can’t believe I spent all that money for something that I have growing wild in the yard!” “See?” he said. “You’re smarter already.” TRAVEL AGENT A man goes into a travel agents and says that he wants to book a vacation in China. “Peking?” asked the travel agent. “No, I want to have a good look around.” MARIA? A young man couldn’t decide which girl to marry. He liked one girl, but he really liked another one named Maria, too. He decided to ask his friend for advice. “How do you make important decisions,” he asked his friend. “Well, I go to church,” replied his friend. “Then I look up and pray and usually the answer just comes to me.” The young man decided to try just that. He went to church, looked up to pray, and the answer was written in gold above a stained-glass window. It said: AVE MARIA. TWO BACHELORS Two confirmed bachelors sat talking, their conversation drifted from politics to cooking. “I got a cookbook once,” said one, “but I could never do anything with it.” “Too much fancy work in it, eh,” asked the other. “You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way — ‘Take a clean dish…’” STIR-FRIED The hunter stir-fried his game because he liked to wok on the wild side.

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ARIES: This month your attracting money. However, your also spending to much. Keep your finances in check. TAURUS: Your giving off fantastic energy this month. If your able to get away and have fun, do so. GEMINI: Communication is a high priority for you this month. Think before you speak out. CANCER: Past dreams and wishes are able to come true this month. Watch what you wish for. LEO: You’ve got energy this month! A good time to get things done and organized. VIRGO: Do you feel like you’ve made the wrong impression recently? Take some alone time to figure things out this month. LIBRA: Relationships with others are intense this month. You will learn a great deal from others this month. SCORPIO: This month you create balance in all relationships. Your giving off the right energy and people are attracted to you. SAGITTARIUS: A good month to discuss all agreements with others. Employers are eager to listen to your ideas. CAPRICORN: Love relationships go well for you this month. Plan for some fun at this time. AQUARIUS: Thinking of home renovations? This is a good time to make your home beautiful and comfortable. PISCES: Communications go smoothly for you this month. Share your ideas with others this month.

“I am as bad as the worst, but, thank God, I am as good as the best.” ~ Walt Whitman

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Q: Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? A: It was two-tired!

Q: Why did the traffic light turn red? A: You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street! Q: What did one elevator say to the other elevator? A: I think I’m coming down with something! Q: What do you get when you cross fish and an elephant? A: Swimming trunks. Q: What do you call the security guards who work at the Samsung store? A: Guardians of the Galaxy. Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? A: Frostbite. April 2017

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Q: Why did the barber win the race? A: Because he took a short cut. Q: When does Friday come before Thursday? A: In the dictionary. Q: How many tickles does it take to make an Octopus laugh? A: Ten-tickles. Q: What kind of bird sticks to sweaters? A: A Vel-Crow. Q: What washes up on very small beaches? A: Microwaves. Q: What kind of button won’t unbutton? A: A bellybutton! Q: Where do boats go when they get sick? A: The dock. | L O C A L LY P U B L I S H E D S I N C E 2 0 0 0

THE DIET “How the diet going?” “Not good, I had eggs for breakfast.” “Scrambled?” “No, chocolate.” MONKS Lost on a rainy night, a nun stumbles across a monastery and requests shelter there. Fortunately, she’s just in time for dinner and was treated to the best fish and chips she’s ever had. After dinner, she goes into the kitchen to thank the chefs. She is met by two brothers, “Hello, I’m Brother Michael, and this is Brother Charles.” “I’m very pleased to meet you. I just wanted to thank you for a wonderful dinner. The fish and chips were the best I’ve ever tasted. Out of curiosity, who cooked what?” Brother Charles replied, “Well, I’m the fish friar.” She turns the other brother and says, “Then you must be…?” “Yes, I’m the chip monk.” FORGETFUL HUBBY An absent-minded husband thought he had conquered his problem of trying to remember his wife’s birthday and their anniversary. He opened an account with a florist, provided that florist with the dates and instructions to send flowers to his wife on these dates along with an appropriate note signed, “Your loving husband.” His wife was thrilled by this new display of attention and all went well until one day, when he came home, kissed his wife and said offhandedly, “Nice flowers, honey. Where’d you get them? HOLLY SMOKE A spiritualist who’d recently been widowed met a colleague and reported excitedly that she’d just received a message from her dead husband — asking her to send him a pack of cigarettes. “The only thing is,” she mused, “that I don’t know where to send them.” “Why not,” asked her friend. “Well, he didn’t actually say that he was in Heaven — but I can’t imagine he’d be in Hell.” “Hmm,” responded the friend. “Well, maybe I shouldn’t bring this up, but… he didn’t mention anything about including matches in the package, did he?”

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he event has been specifically designed to engage and inform visitors with a flexible and interactive schedule of valuable presentations, hands-on workshops, visual exhibits and even complimentary chair or table massage treatments from qualified student interns. Whether attendees are interested in understanding how regular massage therapy can improve their health or discovering the many benefits of being a registered massage therapist, attending this event will satisfy anyone’s curiosity. “Not everyone thinks of massage therapy when considering options for their healthcare. What we aim to do as part of this event is to help people understand how regular treatments can do wonders for your physical and mental health,” said Lori DeCou, Director of Operations for West Coast College of Massage Therapy’s New Westminster Campus. They are looking forward to sharing the many benefits of registered massage therapy and their College campus to any and all who may have an interest. The event will take place on Friday April 21, between 10AM and 2PM at the College located at 613 Columbia Street, Downtown New Westminster. For more information and a program for the event, visit their website at www.collegeofmassage.com. You will need to phone 604-520-1844 to register your attendance.

SCHEDULED PRESENTATIONS AND WORKSHOPS

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lowing the presentation members of the WCCMT community (including alumni and/or current students) will be available to answer questions. 11:00 AM — LEARN THE BASICS OF RELAXATION MASSAGE Lead by one of WCCMT’s highly qualified RMT faculty, during this hands-on workshop participants will learn some basic strokes and techniques of relaxation massage and then have an opportunity to practice their newly discovered skills with a partner. This workshop is a unique opportunity to get a brief look at what it means to be a Registered Massage Therapist and discover first hand if it is of interest to you. 12:15 PM — MASSAGE BENEFITS FOR HEALTH AND WELL-BEING This general presentation asks and answers the question, “How therapeutic massage can make a difference for people’s health and well-being?” Facilitated by a highly credentialed RMT with years of clinical practice experience participants will explore the many benefits therapeutic massage provides for treating a wide variety of health condition.

ONGOING ACTIVITIES

Complimentary Chair and Table Relaxation Massage Treatments provided by our current students and/or alumni participants are invited to receive a complimentary treatment of a relaxation massage anytime throughout the day — sign-up sheets will be available. Chair massage treatments will be 15 minutes and table massage treatments will be 30 minutes. Science of Massage Therapy Exhibit Room. The foundation for massage therapy education is based on a comprehensive understanding of the bio-sciences of anatomy, physiology, pathology and neurology. Students become musculoskeletal experts learning about: muscles, cartilage, tendons, ligaments, joints and connective tissues. A variety of teaching aids will be on display for participants to view and explore with students and/or alumni on hand to answer any questions. WCCMT Admissions Staff and the admissions team will be available to answer any questions regarding the admissions process or prerequisite requirements for enrolment into our 20-month registered massage therapy program. Facility Tour. Established in 1983 WCCMT is the only free-stranding massage therapy school in North America with over 35,000 square feet dedicated solely to the delivery of registered massage therapy education. With close to 200 students and over 50 faculty WCCMT is impressive in many ways. Guided tours will be available throughout the day.

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ORAL HISTORY at its best

One hundred years ago, April 1917, many New Westminster lads fought and died winning the Battle of Vimy Ridge. Vimy was considered “the turning point” of WWI Evelyn Sangster Benson and the “coming-of-age” of Canada as a nation. My father was there.

In her unique folksy style, Evelyn Benson writes about real events in the lives of ordinary people of New Westminster in days gone by.

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Both books are available at Black Bond Books and Amazon For more information, visit www.westminsterpublishing.ca April 2017

TALES FROM THE TRENCHES

by Evelyn Benson often wondered why my father Lewie Sangster’s war stories were always upbeat and interesting, while many or most returning soldiers refused to talk about their war experience. It wasn’t until I saw the surprisingly authentic movie, “Passchendaele” that a realization came to me… I knew Dad had been a “scout” at the Battle of Passchendaele and Vimy and as I watched that movie which was based on a true story about a Canadian scout, I suddenly realized why Dad wasn’t more traumatized by his war experience. As a battalion scout (message-runner), HE NEVER HAD TO KILL! In fact, Dad avoided carrying a weapon if he could help it. The weight slowed him down as he ran urgent messages, sometimes through enemy territory, to and from Headquarters. Speed was of the essence and Dad was a trained track & field sprinter! Let me share some of his experiences as told to me: Sometimes the battalion scouts were told to forage for themselves. Always in twos, they would pester local farm wives for food. But more importantly, they asked for a warm, dry place to sleep and the use of the farm wife’s flat-iron (or was it glad-iron?). The flat-irons came in two parts – a handle with a clamp, and the heavy iron smoothing part. Often there were two or more of these heavy parts kept hot on the top of the wood stove. When the iron being used cooled off, it was ejected from the clamp to the stove top and the handle was clamped onto a fresh HOT iron. Now, these Canadian soldiers weren’t trying to have neatly pressed uniforms amid the mud and squalor of the Front. They were only trying to rid themselves of as many lice and their nits (louse eggs) as possible. Dad said that as the hot iron was pressed down a seam of a shirt or trousers, you could hear the “psssst, pop, psssst, pop” of the nits and “cooties” as they fried. He said he hated lice worse than the rats that sometimes slept on his chest in the bunkers or pill-boxes. A rat could be chased away, but not a louse. The best night’s sleep he ever had overseas was when he and his buddy were allowed to sleep in a barn. The grain harvest had just finished and a whole bin in the barn was full of bran. The two young soldiers snuggled down into the bran, scooping it over themselves like a blanket. The bran seemed to contain its own warmth, and the dryness of the bran sucked every bit of dampness out of their clothing.

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MATH MADNESS

Try to fi ll in the missing numbers. Use the numbers 1 through 9 to complete the equations. Each number is only used once. Each row is a math equation. Each column is a math equation. Remember that multiplication and division are performed before addition and subtraction.

NUMBER BLOCKS Pvt Lewie Sangster

Being continually wet was one of the worst tortures in trench warfare. Their socks rotted on their feet. They were constantly berated to keep their feet dry but it was an impossibility. On one of the first days Lewie Sangster bedded down inside a pillbox, soaking wet to his skin, a British sergeant entered with the daily “tot of rum” — the traditional right of all British servicemen, not just sailors. He filled each man’s tin mug with the 57-proof rum and when he came to Lewie, my father said, “No thank you, Sergeant, I promised my mother I would never touch alcohol and I signed a pledge.” (Dad was a good Baptist boy). The old Sergeant bellowed, “HOLD OUT YOUR MUG! NOW DRINK IT DOWN! THAT’S AN ORDER!” Dad continued on page 24

Try to fi ll in the missing numbers. The missing numbers are integers between 0 and 9. The numbers in each row add up to totals to the right. The numbers in each column add up to the totals along the bottom. The diagonal lines also add up the totals to the right.

“Gotta stay in the gym, stay funny, stay sharp. I just love working.” ~ Marlon Wayans

continued from page 23

choked down the unfamiliar burning liquid blinking tears between coughs. “Now listen to me, sonny. While you’re in this God-forsaken war you will down your tot of the King’s rum, and then you’ll wrap yourself in TWO blankets and fall into your bunk. It’s the one sure thing that might extend your life in this hellhole!” Dad said it was the best piece of advice he ever got in the army. The rum made you perspire heavily, and when you awoke you were dry and the outer blanket was soaked in your sweat. He told me that they became toughened to the sight of dead bodies. Sometimes bodies were stacked high awaiting a burial detail, and it was not an uncommon sight during the lulls in fighting to see a soldier propping a mirror on a stack of enemy corpses as he shaved, using a mug of hot tea which was the only hot liquid they ever got. Being clean-shaven was compulsory, even in the trenches! By the way, in WWI, soldiers were encouraged to NOT shave their upper lip as the belief of the times was that shaving your upper lip weakened your eyesight! Go Figure! Dad described a weird happening: He witnessed three officers in a tent with the canvas sides rolled up. They stood around a table covered with ordinance maps. Suddenly out of nowhere, a stray shell made a direct hit on the tent. One officer escaped unscathed. One officer was severely wounded. Not a trace of the third officer was found! At one of the farmhouses that he and his buddy went to, the farmwife sat them down at the kitchen table and gave them soup and bread. Heaven! All the while she kept up a conversation with two other women who were visiting her kitchen. On the stove were several large copper pots of hot water. While they were eating their soup, the housewife reached up and took a large washtub off the wall where it hung on a nail and began to fill the tub with hot water. Then she laid out towels and soap. Just then her husband walked in. He was very grimy like maybe he’d been down a mine. To the shock of the two Canadian lads, the man began to undress until he stood buck naked and stepped into the tub. His wife brought him a well prepared pipe and a flaming twig from the fire. He took several long drags and then contentedly puffed away, still standing in the tub, while his wife washed him from head to foot with a soapy rag, all the while keeping up a running conversation with her two lady friends. I’m sure neither of those two young soldier continued on page 26 April 2017

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BABYSITTER FIRE SAFETY At some time, most families entrust their children to the care of babysitters. Every babysitter should be aware of home fire safety procedures, fire escape plans, and how to call the fire department from a neighbour’s home. Even when you are not at home, your fire escape plan can still protect your family if you take time to explain the plan to your babysitter. Show the babysitter your floor plan with escape routes marked and point out the telephone number of the fire department. Important questions for households to answer before hiring babysitters are: • Is the babysitter familiar with the locations of all bedrooms in which the children will be sleeping and all the exits? • Is the babysitter familiar with the family evacuation plan and the designated meeting place outside the home? Leave emergency telephone numbers next to the phone. Include your complete address so the babysitter will have all the correct information if there is a need to notify the fire department. • Can your babysitter contact you in the case of an emergency? • Always leave the phone number where you can be reached in case of emergency. • Does the babysitter understand that children should never be left alone for any reason? • Stress there is to be no smoking or candles lit while on the job. • Explain that if there is a fire, the babysitter should get the children out of the home and call the fire department from a neighbour’s home. If it seems too dangerous to rescue the children, the babysitter should go straight to a neighbour’s and call the fire department. Let the fire department know that.

New Westminster Fire & Rescue Services Fire Prevention Office, 1 East 6th Avenue, New Westminster, BC V3L 4G6

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April 2017

continued from page 24

boys could ever imagine their own Canadian fathers putting on such an immodest spectacle! I think we often forget that many of these young WWI soldiers were green as grass and very unworldly. On Dad’s first leave to a French city, he spent the day like a tourist. When ‘nature called’, he entered a public toilet which was basically a long outhouse with about ten holes in a row. He sat down and no sooner got settled when a big, stout French woman walked in and sat down on the hole right next to him, opened her bag and took out her knitting! Dad froze. He looked neither right nor left. He barely breathed. After what seemed like an eternity, the woman put away her knitting, attended to business, straightened her clothing and left. Dad got out of there as quickly as he could because that was just about all the embarrassment a Baptist boy could endure. Irving Berlin’s song said, “How you gonna keep ‘em down on the farm, after they’ve seen Paree?” Today we’d call it culture shock. After Dad was sent back to England to recuperate from “trench fever” (a virulent, painful, sometimes deadly fever now known to be caused by massive lice bites), he received word that his twin brother, Philip, had been part of a “prisoner exchange” and that he, too, was back in England. The brothers made arrangements to meet in London. “Philip was quite the cut-up,” Dad said. “At Madam Toussaud’s Waxworks, we were looking at a display entitled, Soldiers of the Empire. Each wax figure wore the uniform from one of the Commonwealth countries. Each figure had a cardboard tag attached to it describing the rank and country of origin. With a twinkle in his eye, Philip stepped into the display and struck a pose as if he were a wax figure too. Just then, two English women rounded the corner and began to study the display. Philip didn’t move a muscle as the two women began to search his tunic for his cardboard tag. Just then, ip loudly cleared his throat and stepped forward and gave them a snappy salute! The two women screamed, and Philip and I beat a hasty retreat! Philip was a born actor. He should have gone into show business.” This story is from Evelyn Benson’s awardwinning book, — A CENTURY IN A SMALL TOWN — One Family’s Stories. Both Book 1 and Book 2 are available at Black Bond Books and www.amazon.com. Watch for more stories in next month’s Piffle. | L O C A L LY P U B L I S H E D S I N C E 2 0 0 0

GROWING WITH PURPOSE

by Jennifer Morrison, Counsellor

s we shift into spring, we notice that change is in the air all around us. For the life of a teen, every day can feel like a changing season; frequent and significant transitions are a defining feature of adolescence. Physically, cognitively, emotionally, socially — everything is changing all the time. These changes, in rapid succession, pose unique challenges to young people and their families. The growth, development, and burgeoning maturity of a teen or tween may prematurely signal to parents that their child is detaching from the family unit, ready for independence. Children may rebel or become defiant as they struggle for autonomy. While appearances may suggest your child is seeking separation, what they are in fact seeking is a different kind of attachment. Normal adolescent development is marked by experimentation, exploration, and practice. While parents may be used to proximity, or physical closeness to their children (particularly when they are young), what is needed more so during adolescence is presence; to know that you are available to them as a secure base from which they can explore the world, and as a safe haven to retreat to in times of threat or distress. This new dynamic, presence vs. proximity, creates a sense of security for children as they gain confidence in themselves, venture outward, make mistakes, go to and from the “nest”, and generally navigate the world around them. Even in times of conflict with parents, if young people feel understood and validated they learn to show empathy, solve problems, and maintain healthy relationships. In addition, they are less likely to leave the home environment too early. In fact, a safe and secure attachment to a parent or other caregiver has even been shown to minimize the effects of mental health issues including anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. While parental attachment is of paramount importance, children benefit from having several attachment figures. Know that as a parent, you are not alone; teachers, coaches, counsellors, neighbours, family friends and other important stakeholders all play a part in providing opportunities for positive attachment with young people in our communities. At Purpose Secondary, we understand that supportive relationships with caring adults form the foundation upon which young people construct their sense of self; their worth, their boundaries, their voice, and their needs. These learnings extend far beyond the classroom. It is our honour to model positive, healthy attachments to help guide your child as they set out on the journey of life.

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Purpose Secondary Independent School exists to serve those students who, for a variety of reasons, find it difficult in the traditional school system. Students succeed from the fact that we are a small student centered Independent School.

Continuous Intake

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As they say, it takes a village. Purpose Secondary offers continuous intake and is currently accepting Grade 8 applications for September, 2017. For more information, please contact Merrilyn Cook-Nordheimer, Principal, at 604-526-2522.

www.purposesecondary.org 40 Begbie Street, New Westminster, BC V3M 3L9

“The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.” ~ Mark Twain

NEW MEMBERS WELCOME!

LIFE IS A MESS Poodle: “My life is a mess. My owner is mean, my girlfriend is leaving me for a German shepherd, and I’m as nervous as a cat.” Collie: “Why don’t you go see a psychiatrist?” Poodle: “I can’t. I’m not allowed on the couch.” KEEPING IN SHAPE You have to stay in shape. My mother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 now and we have no idea where she is.

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Signs & Printing

THREE LITTLE PIGS Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night. The waiter came and took their drink order. “I would like a Sprite,” said the first little piggy. “I would like a Coke,” said the second little piggy. “I want beer, lots and lots of beer,” said the third little piggy. The drinks were brought out and the waiter took their orders for dinner. “I want a nice big steak,” said the first piggy. “I would like the salad plate,” said the second piggy. “I want beer, lots and lots of beer,” said the third little piggy. The meals were brought out and a while later the waiter approached the table and asked if the piggies would like any dessert. “I want a banana split,” said the first piggy. “I want a cheesecake,” said the second piggy. “I want beer, lots and lots of beer,” exclaimed the third little piggy. “Pardon me for asking,” said the waiter to the third little piggy. But why have you only ordered beer all evening?” The third piggy says, “Well, somebody has to go wee, wee, wee, all the way home!”

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A GREAT GOLF BALL

VERNE SIEBERT MEANS BUSINESS

First golfer: “I have the greatest golf ball in the world.

As a new or established business, you will want to let people know what you have to oﬀer through advertising.

You can’t lose it.”

Second golfer: “How so?”

First golfer: “If you hit it into the sand, it beeps. You

hit it into the water, it floats. If you want to play golf at

Piﬄe is a monthly community magazine that has been serving New Westminster and Burnaby — Edmonds for 16 years. Piﬄe Magazine has an average press run of 9,000 copies and posts current and back issues online at www.piffle.ca. If you would like to reach our loyal readership, give Verne a call at 604-763-6304 or email vernesiebert@piffle.ca.

night it glows.”

Second golfer: “Hey, sounds good. Where did you get it?” First golfer: “I found it in the woods.”

IT HAPPENED LAST MONTH When she got flowers from her husband on Valen-

tine’s Day, my daughter quickly opened the card. All it said was, “No.”

What did that mean? She called her husband and

asked him.

“I didn’t attach any message. The florist asked if I had

a message and I said, ‘No’.”

Generated by http://www.opensky.ca/sudoku on Wed Nov 30 01:56:03 2016 GMT. Enjoy!

PENGUINS

Act soon… the deadline is April 15 for the May issue of Piffle Magazine.

A police officer sees a man driving around with a

pickup truck full of penguins. He pulls the guy over

and says, “You can’t drive around with penguins in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately.” The guy obliges and drives away.

The next day, the officer sees the same guy driving

around with the truck full of penguins again. This time,

He fought with James Douglas and other politicians from the Colony of Vancouver Island as the two regions merged, fought against the move to make Victoria the permanent capital, but supported Confederation and in the 1871 election, ran without opposition to become New Westminster City’s first MLA. Who was he?

though, all the penguins are wearing sunglasses.

The police officer pulls the guy over and says, “I

thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo yesterday?”

The guy replies, “I did, and today I’m taking them to

the beach.”

Each column must contain all of the numbers 1 through 9 and no two numbers in the same column of a Sudoku puzzle can be the same.

Each row must contain all of the numbers 1 through 9 and no two numbers in the same row of a Sudoku puzzle can be the same.

Each block must contain all of the numbers 1 through 9 and no two numbers in the same block of a Sudoku puzzle can be the same. 1

NUMBER BLOCKS

MATH MADNESS

2 1

8 7 6 4 2 1 9 5 3

2 3 4 6 1 9 7 8 5

1 5 9 3 8 7 2 6 4

7 6 8 2 4 5 1 3 9

5 8 7 1 6 3 4 9 2

9 2 1 8 5 4 3 7 6

6 4

1 3

3 3

5 1

4 5

1 6

1 1 1

1 1 1 1 1 3

15 2

3 7

1 4 5

3 2 1

3 1

3 3 1

4 7

15 7 6

1 6 5

1 2 2

4 1

5 1

1 1 1

HINT: SOCCER ANYONE?

HOW FAST CAN YOU GET THROUGH?

The principle of this puzzle is to shade, in a logical way, boxes in the grid to discover a picture solution. Numbers on the left show the sets of boxes to be shaded in the corresponding line. Numbers above the grid show the sets of boxes to be shaded in the corresponding column. There is always at least one clear box separating the shaded boxes. TIP: It is just as important to discover which boxes are clear.

BY ROSS HOOD

PUZ ZLE #33

Puzzle 1 (Medium, difficulty rating 0.46)

SUDOKU!

6 4

2 8

7 1

9 5

6 6 3

PIFFLE’S

PIFFLE PUZZLE SOLUTIONS

continued on page PB

“The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.” ~ Walter Bagehot

POET’S CORNER with

JANET KVAMMEN

VICE-PRESIDENT, ROYAL CITY LITERARY ARTS SOCIETY

Mending Nets

I remember si�ng on the dock at the foot of 8th Street. Fishing boats �ed up there by the dozens. In those days salmon was gold, the Fraser River the mother lode. I sat on the dock watching ﬁshermen mending their nets. Green twine white needle ﬂashing, the movement so swi�, looping, twis�ng, kno�ng, the eye could not follow the process. The gaping hole disappearing, a sturdy net emerging.

BY ROSS HOOD

HINT: SOCCER ANYONE? 1

Welcoming New Westminster Poets! Please submit your “New West” poems by emailing Janet at janetkvammen@rclas.com Visit www.rclas.com for all the latest events. April 2017

15 2

15 7

Puzzle 1 (Medium, difficulty rating 0.46)

SUDOKU!

5 2

6 7

3 Valerie Parks was bor n in New Westminster and has lived in the area all her life. She has been writing poetry since she was fi fteen. She has published one chap book, “Walking Along the Quay” and two other books of poetry, “Pathways” and “Wisdom Of a Thousand Fools”, both published by Silver Bow Publishing.

PUZ ZLE #33

2 5

9 9

7 Generated by http://www.opensky.ca/sudoku on Wed 30 01:56:03 2016 GMT. Each Enjoy! block must Each column must Each rowNovmust contain all of the contain all of the contain all of the numbers 1 through 9 numbers 1 through 9 numbers 1 through 9 and no two numbers and no two numbers and no two numbers in the same column in the same row of a in the same block of of a Sudoku puzzle Sudoku puzzle can a Sudoku puzzle can can be the same. be the same. be the same.

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REFRIGERATOR MAN A woman goes to a psychiatrist and says, “Doctor, you’ve got to do something about my husband — he thinks he’s a refrigerator!” “I wouldn’t worry too much about it,” the doctor replies. “Lots of people have harmless delusions. It will pass.” “But you don’t understand,” the woman insists. “He sleeps with his mouth open, and the little light keeps me awake.” WE ARE GETTING A VISIT HONEY An elderly man in Vancouver calls his son in Toronto and says, “I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing. Forty-five years of misery is enough.” “Pop, what are you talking about,” the son screams. “We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” the old man says. “We’re sick of each other, and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Edmonton and tell her,” and he hangs up. Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone, “Like heck they’re getting divorced,” she shouts, “I’ll take care of this.” She calls her father immediately and screams at the old man, “You are NOT getting divorced! Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back, and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and hangs up. The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. “Okay,” he says, “They’re coming for Passover and paying their own airfares.” INVISIBLE A psychiatrist’s secretary walked into his study and said, “There’s a gentleman in the waiting room asking to see you. Claims he’s invisible.” The psychiatrist responded, “Tell him I can’t see him.” LUNCH WITH BOB So I was having lunch with Bobby Fischer, the former world chess champion, and the table had a checkered tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass the salt!

604-517-1230 oktirenw@shaw.ca

WE HAVE MOVED! WE ARE NOW AT 641 LOUGHEED HWY Henry Holbrook PLANNING A REUNION? THE WAFFLE MAY BE THE VENUE YOUR LOOKING FOR!

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Ken McIntosh Rod Drown Researchers

604.619.8455 New book on the MacLaughlan Murders due soon. #360-729 6th St, New Westminster, BC V3L 3C5

“To give anything less than your best, is to sacrifice the gift.” ~ Steve Prefontaine

STRATA LIVING WHO SETS THE AGENDA?

By Tony Gioventu, Executive Director, Condominium Home Owners' Association of BC Dear Tony: Our Richmond strata council is furious with our property manager. Our fiscal year end is December 31st and council had decided to hold our AGM on February 22, giving us time to prepare the financial statements and have our lawyer finish the review of our bylaws. Our plan was to send notice on February 1st, but the property manager issued notice of our AGM on January 25th with a proposed budget, no bylaws, and two items on the agenda to approve building repairs, both of which require engineering reviews first. So what happens when a notice of general meeting is issued without the authority of council? The Act is silent on what we do next. We immediately sent a notice of retraction to the owners, and subsequently sent out our meeting notice February 1st as planned. ~ Allen C. Dear Allen: You are correct, the Strata Property Act is silent on this issue. While the does not explicitly say the calling of a general meeting is a requirement of council, there are some clues that make it clear this is a council responsibility. For example, if a group of owners petition for a special general meeting, the president of council may call the special general meeting without holding a council meeting. A clear indication that This publication contains general information only and is not intended as legal advice. Use of this publication is at your own risk. CHOA, the author and related entities will not be liable to you or any other person for any loss or damage arising from, connected with or relating to the use of this publication or any information contained herein by you or any other person. The contents of this publication may not be reproduced, blogged, or distributed in any fashion without the explicit prior consent of the writer.

council have an obligation to convene a council meeting and discuss the agenda, content of resolutions and the date of the meeting and give notice of general meetings. If all the council members resign, under the standard bylaws, owners holding 25% of the votes may hold a special general meeting to elect a new council. While the Act does permit council to delegate their authority to a strata manager, there is nowhere in the legislation that indicates a strata manager may give notice of general meetings or add agenda items without the direction of strata council. Ultimately a challenge of the cancelled meeting either in the courts or the Civil Resolution Tribunal would answer the question; however, your strata is holding their AGM within the 60 days after fiscal year end requirement, has given proper notice of the meeting approved by a majority vote of council and is enabling the owners to vote on a proposed bylaw package that had been approved for development and expense at your previous meeting. Regarding the manager, check your service contract to see if the strata has delegated any such authority to call meetings without the consent of the owners. You may need to amend your contract or in the event of an action without authority consider filing a complaint with the Real Estate Council of BC.

Direct office phone: 604-515-9683 Office email: tony@choa.bc.ca Mobile: 604-323-6458

Condominium Home Owners Association of BC

We are Open and have a for the duration of the Front St. Mews project. 649 Front St (Corner of McKenzie St) New Westminster, BC 604-540-8907 | www.winefactory.ca Call to check on road and parking conditions during the ongoing roadwork.

April 2017

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631 SIXTH STREET, NEW WESTMINSTER THURSDAYS

MEAT DRAWS every Friday and Saturday 5PM, 6PM & 6:45PM

SATURDAYS

APRIL 8 & 9 JAMES BURTON SAT 6:30-10:30PM SUN 3-7PM

• MEAT BINGO AT 6PM • KARAOKE WITH CAL • VIDEO DJ NIGHT WITH TREVOR

SUNDAYS 2PM

• CRIBBAGE TOURNAMENT $5 ENTRY, ALL MONEY PAID BACK TO WINNERS!

APRIL 28 & 29 GORDY VAN FRI & SAT 6:30-10:30PM

MEMBERS APPRECIATION DAY SUNDAY, APRIL 9

$2 COVER CHARGE FOR NON-LEGION MEMBERS ON BAND & BINGO NIGHTS

• JAMES BURTON 3-7PM • POTLUCK GIVEAWAYS • $4 PINTS BLACK LABEL

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MEMBERS & GUESTS WELCOME!

WORKING FOR YOU

For Over 32 Years Prescriptions & Compounding At Longevity Compounding Pharmacy, we truly care for our patients. We are dedicated to deliver the highest quality of Pharmaceutical care possible. We are dedicated to serving the special needs of physicians and their patients through custom prescription compounding.

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604.544.7760 711 Columbia Street New Westminster, BC - V3M 1B2

Ed Goss

Associate Broker MLS Master Medallion

“Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.” ~ Elbert Hubbard

NEW WESTMINSTER COUNCIL OF WOMEN Serving in the community for 117 years.

The New Westminster Council of Women will be meeting at the New Westminster Library at 11:00 a.m. for their monthly meeting on April 26.

HELPED BY ANGELS An old-time pastor was riding furiously down the road, hurrying to get to church on time. Suddenly, his horse stumbled and threw him to the ground. Lying in the

dirt, his body wracked with pain, the pastor called out,

“All you angels in heaven, help me get up on my horse!” With extraordinary strength, he leaped onto the

horse’s back—and fell off the other side.

From the ground again, he called out, “All right, just

half of you angels this time!” PERSEVERE

A young pastor was sitting in a restaurant eating lunch. He opened a letter he’d just received that

morning from his mom. As he opened it a twenty-

dollar bill fell out. He thought to himself, Thanks, Mom,

Speaker: Nancy Loucks Topic: Senior’s Safety Measures

I sure needed that right now.

As he finished his meal, he noticed a beggar outside

Registration is at door with a $5.00 charge for light lunch.

on the sidewalk leaning against the light post. Think-

If you have any further questions, please contact Barbara Hall 778-918-0178 | bhallpcw@shaw.ca

dollars more than he, he crossed out the names on

ing that the poor man could probably use the twenty the envelope and wrote across the top in large letters, PERSEVERE! So as not to make a scene, he put the

envelope under his arm and dropped it as he walked

past the man. The man picked it up and read the message and smiled.

The next day, as the pastor enjoyed his meal, the

same man tapped him on the shoulder and handed him a big wad of bills. Surprised, the young pastor asked him what that was for.

The man replied, “This is your half of the winnings.

Persevere came in first in the fourth race at the track yesterday and paid thirty to one.”

• 3,500 sq. ft. of open area upstairs with a hardwood floor • Parking for 30 cars, close to Sapperton SkyTrain Station

April 2017

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SAPPERTON P ENSIONERS’ H ALL

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We can’t wait to host your next event.

318 Keary St, New Westminster • Call 604-522-0280 to book your space today | L O C A L LY P U B L I S H E D S I N C E 2 0 0 0

Community AUTO SALES

Roger

Serving the Burnaby & New Westminster community for 25 years. Trades Welcome.

Rent to Own! 2007 Jeep PatriotV6, loaded 4x4

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DOLLAR

BUSINESS DIRECTORY

STORE ROYAL DEALS

420 East Columbia St. Sapperton, New West

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/issue

Contact Chris today!

604-525-9027

chrissargent@piffle.ca

THIS IS YOUR I N V I TAT I O N !

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EVERY 3RD WED OF EACH MONTH IN 2017 SERVING YOUR COMMUNITY 325 6th Street New Westminster, BC Tel: 604-521-0363 Service at 11am See you at church!

Maureen’s Dog Boarding 816 12th St, New West

Merry Maids is a growing business and needs hard working, trustworthy, and dedicated friendly staff. Completive wages offered. Apply at #426-604 Columbia St, New West

726 12th Street (Near 8th Avenue)

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Knox Presbyterian Church

Email: dogboarding@shaw.ca

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Regular Sunday Service at 11am

RENAISSANCE BOOKS 712B 12th St New Westminster 604.525.4566 renbooks@telus.net renaissancebookstore.com

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Financial planning: 3 key factors to consider for retirement

uinn Waddington of Waddington Wealth Management Group, an advisor y practice at Canaccord Genuity Wealth Management, prides himself on being the Lower Mainland’s ‘go-to’ financial guru. So when he sees anyone in his community heading in the wrong direction with their financial planning, he is compelled to help. “A retirement plan is always adjustable,” says Waddington, a New Westminster native who has been providing financial advice since 2008. “I’ve had a client come to me when he was 32 years old, unmarried with no children and no house, and others come to me when they’re well into retirement already. In either case — and every type of case in between — we can put the right financial plan in place.” “The most important things are a) to have a plan in place sooner rather than later, b) to define your goals and c) to know what the ‘gap’ is—meaning the difference between where you are and where you want to be. That way you can plot a course of action to bridge the gap before it’s too late.” Waddington, along with a team of wealth specialists at Canaccord Genuity Wealth Management, created a comprehensive list of the most common retirement planning mistakes they’ve seen. Here are three to consider: 1. Asset allocation — Spreading your investments across different asset classes is a key consideration when planning for retirement. “The three main classes are equities (stocks), fixed income (bonds) and cash,” Waddington explains. “There are other classes, of course, like commodities and real estate, but those are the main branches in a nutshell. By diversifying your investments across these

different asset classes, you can adjust the amount of risk you take.” 2. Tax consequences of retirement — Many people will experience a change in their tax bracket upon retirement due to employment changes, a RRSP kicking in or ta xes on public pension benefits, says Waddington. “Not factoring in the government’s cut is a common mistake people make with RRSPs,” he says. “Yes, they allow you to invest your money for retirement without having to pay taxes on it immediately. But this money becomes taxable income the moment you start withdrawing it.” 3. Health care expenses — While retirement can bring about a time of relaxation, it can also bring with it the complications of age. “Your medical expenses will go up after retirement and the further into retirement you are, the higher your expenses will likely be,” says Waddington. “It’s a major mistake that too many pre-retirees make. That said, there are three things you can do to guard against this: invest properly, consider long-term care insurance and keep your body healthy.” For more information about Waddington Wealth Management Group, visit their website, and to receive your own free online copy of “The 10 most common retirement mistakes and how to avoid them” send them an email or call Quinn Waddington directly at 604-6990874. You can also find Waddington Wealth Management Group on Facebook and Twitter. Canaccord Genuity Wealth Management is a division of Canaccord Genuity Corp., Member – CIPF and IIROC.

w w w . w a d d i n g t o n w e a l t h . c o m

“It has yet to be proven that intelligence has any survival value.” ~ Arthur C. Clarke

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