Piffle Magazine 2017-07 by Sargent's Piffle

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CITY SCENE MAGAZINE

July 2017 Issue #202

The Volunteer Cancer Drivers Society was formed in February, 2016 to fill an urgent need for cancer patients to have free transportation to and from treatment facilities. Radio legend George Garrett is a driver and a driving force behind that organization. See story on page 8.

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Happy 150 th Canada!

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#110-888 Carnarvon St, New Westminster Phone: 604-775-5707 l Email: peter.julian.c1@parl.gc.ca l www.PeterJulian.net

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WORD SEARCH AND

LOVE

CANADA

NATIVE

FAR FROM GLORIOUS

NORTH OUR PATRIOT

GLOWING GOD GUARD HEARTS

STAND STRONG TRUE

HOME

WIDE

LAND

WITH

Judy Darcy MLA

Happy Birthday!

judydarcy.ca July 2017

judy.darcy.mla@leg.bc.ca

604.775.2101

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MLA’S REPORT

By Judy Darcy hat an honour it was to sworn in on June 8 as the MLA for New Westminster for a second term! I am deeply humbled by your support and will continue to work day and night on your behalf. I’m very excited that we will soon have a new government in Victoria — and eager to get down to work to make life better for people in New Westminster and across BC. One of the top issues that demands urgent action is the housing crisis — an issue I heard about repeatedly on the doorstep during the provincial election. Recently, residents in a Brow of the Hill apartment building received eviction notices due to renovations. So my office swung into action to organize a community meeting on “renovictions” on June 13 to ensure the tenants understood and could enforce their rights. Nearly 50 people crammed the room at Century House to hear a presentation from the Tenant Resource Advisory Centre and to receive information about the permit process from the City.

Some of the renters who are being evicted are seniors and people with disabilities. Others have lived in the building for 23 years and in New Westminster all their lives. All were fearful about being forced to leave their homes and not being able to stay in the city they call home. They were extremely worried that they wouldn’t be able to find a place they can afford, let alone one near their family, friends, and work. The housing affordability crisis has spiraled out of control for years and market rents are far higher than these long-term tenants are currently paying — and far higher than they can afford. Over and over again I heard people say: “I just don’t know what I’m going to do.” The tenants emerged from the meeting determined to work together to enforce their rights. But their situation underlines the urgent need to amend the Residential Tenancy Act and bring in stricter rules for renovictions and to improve renter’s rights. This will be a top priority for the next government. If you or someone you know is facing renovictions, please contact my office so that you can know your rights as a tenant and enforce your rights. You can reach me by email, by calling my office, or dropping by!

In Memory of

George Ivan Gracey June 5, 1920 – May 31, 2017 George Ivan Gracey passed away peacefully at George Derby Veterans Hospital on May 31, 2017. He will be lovingly remembered by his wife of 71 years Doris, sons Gerry (Gail), Garry (Yaping), Keith (Helen), sister Marion Shaw, grandchildren Wendy (David), Janice, April, Crystal (Sean), Jason, Davis, Ellee, and greatgrandchildren Sydney, Dylan, Sadie, Keadan, Makaylah, TJ, Leaham and Preston. George will be deeply missed by his family. He is a decorated war veteran from WWII and he celebrated a long and distinguished career of 35 years as a Traffic Patrol Enforcement Officer for the City of New Westminster. He leaves behind a legacy of incredible love and commitment to his family. His sense of humor, his talent for gardening and his love for music will be lovingly remembered by all who knew him. A Celebration of Life will be held at a later date. In lieu of fl owers donations can be made to a charity of choice.

“When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.” ~ Rita Rudner

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MLA’s Report by Judy Darcy �� 3 Imperial Pharmacy

Community Page �� 7 The Intrepid Reporter Takes to

the Streets �� 8 Fridays on Front �� 10 Cap’s Cycling Back in Time �� 11 A-Maze-In �� 12 Sargent’s Crossword �� 12 Horoscopes by Liza �� 17 Kid’s Corner with Isaiah �� 18 Pictograph by Ross Hood �� 18 Sargent’s Sudoku! �� 18

Going to the Beach by Evelyn Benson �� 22 Sargent’s Math Madness �� 23 Sargent’s Number Blocks �� 23 Sargent’s City Scene �� 25 New Westminster Fire and Rescue Services �� 26

Piffle Quiz �� 29 Puzzle Solutions �� 29 Poet’s Corner with Janet Kvammen �� 30 Piffle Quiz Answer �� 31

Strata Living by Tony Gioventu �� 32 Piffle Business Directory �� 36 Waddington Wealth Management Group �� 37

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July 2017

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IMPERIAL PHARMACY CANADA DAY JULY 1

11:30 a.m.–3:30 p.m., Queen’s Park Bandshell Please join us for a day of fabulous fun and celebrations for the entire family in beautiful Queen’s Park. Celebrations are taking place across the country to celebrate Canada’s 150th Anniversary with activities including arts and heritage workshops, community groups presentations and diverse performances that celebrate the story of Canada.

CANADA DAY FIREWORKS

July 1, 10:00 p.m., Downtown Waterfront The New Westminster Hyack Festival Association is proud to host an evening of stunning fireworks. Dazzle your senses with this grandiose display of fireworks that will light up the skies at the New Westminster Quay and over the mighty Fraser River, between the River Market and the Inn on the Quay. Bring your camera, your binoculars and of course, your family and friends!

POETIC JUSTICE READING SERIES

July 16, 11:30 a.m.–1:30 p.m. Operating since 2010, Poetic Justice hosts two featured poets and an open mic on the third Sunday of each month. This month’s readers are Allan Safarik and Brian Brett. Admission by donation. Boston Pizza, 1045 Columbia St, New Westminster. For more information, contact James Felton at 604-767-6908 james@poeticjusticenewwest.org www.poeticjusticenewwest.org

UPTOWN LIVE MUSIC FESTIVAL The Uptown Live Music Festival returns to the streets of New Westminster on Saturday, July 22, 2017 with a full schedule of live concert performances, Red Truck Beer Garden, yummy food trucks plus a host of interactive exhibits and art installations. Uptown Live 2017 will feature multiple stages showcasing the best of BC’s thriving indie music scene including Daniel Wesley, Youngblood, Big Easy Funk Ensemble and the New Groovement. Uptown Live is made possible through funding support from the Uptown Business Association of New Westminster, City of New Westminster, and generous corporate partners including our Presenting Sponsor: TD Bank Group.

CEMETERY TOUR: THE ROYAL CITY IN 1867

July 23, 10:00 a.m.–12:00 p.m. Fraser Cemetery, 100 Richmond St In 1867, New Westminster was 8 years old and in that same year, Canada, a Confederation was formed. Join Archie Miller as he celebrates Canada’s 150th anniversary by linking local stories with this national event. This tour will introduce people of the Royal City as they watched the story of “Canada” playing out far across the continent. Cost is $13.50 and registration is required. 16+ years of age. Please call 604-527-4640 with code 157387 to register.

SHOW & SHINE IS BACK

On Sunday, July 23, the car show will be back with a new home at the Justice Institute of British Columbia, 715 McBride Boulevard New Westminster. The event is produced by Savi Integrated Marketing in partnership with the Hyack Festival Association. Show and shine runs from 11:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. For more information please contact Guy Ciprian, Savi Integrated Marketing at 604-341-1496 or email guy_ciprian@telus.net.

UPTOWN UNPLUGGED

Uptown Unplugged is a weekly performing arts series presented in partnership with the Uptown New West Business Association and the Arts Council of New Westminster. Performances take place in various locations throughout Uptown and features talented musicians from throughout Metro Vancouver. Each weekend in July, from 12:00 p.m. to 2:00 p.m. will feature NWSS MUSIC & SHADOWFAX. More information can be found at: www.artscouncilnewwest.org/ uptownunplugged/

SUMMER MOVIE SERIES RETURNS!

Once again, the City has partnered with Derrick Thornhill, Park Georgia Realty and G&F Financial Group, to offer eight family friendly outdoor movies this summer. Gather family, friends, blankets and lawn chairs and join us on Friday nights for a movie under the stars. The Hyack Football Team will host a concession and the Queen’s Park Stadium doors open at 7:00 p.m. with movies beginning at dusk (approximately 9:00 p.m.).

MON TO FRI 9AM-6PM | SAT 9AM-2:30PM | SUN 9AM-1:30PM 981 Carnarvon Street, New Westminster | 604-523-6767 “I don’t have a bank account because I don’t know my mother’s maiden name.” ~ Paula Poundstone

Top: George Garrett takes to the streets. Right: Volunteer driver John MacInnes driving a client to appointment.

THE INTREPID REPORTER TAKES TO THE STREETS

eorge Garrett is a household name for most folks in the Royal City. He spent 47 years as a radio station reporter with 43 of those years at New Westminster’s own CKNW covering everything from crime to politics. Rafe Mair dubbed George “The Intrepid Reporter”. He has received many awards over the years for his work including a Lifetime Achievement Award from the Jack Webster Foundation, a Lifetime Achievement Award from Canadian Association of TV/Radio News Directors, and two Broadcasters of the Year Awards from the BC Association of Broadcasters. You would think that after all these achievements he would just rest. Not George Garrett. George spends his time as a driver, media liaison, fundraiser, and Vice-President of the Volunteer Cancer Drivers Society. “Our Volunteer Cancer Drivers Society was formed in February, 2016 to fill an urgent need for cancer patients to have free transportation to and from treatJuly 2017

ment facilities. In just 16 months of operation we have grown to have 100 volunteer drivers collectively making about 500 trips per month. The Volunteer Cancer Drivers Society reimburses drivers for vehicle expenses but all our people are volunteers… drivers, dispatchers and executives. We have no paid employees and no office. Our dispatchers operate form their homes. Our drivers provide their own vehicle. For our volunteers… it is a matter of commitment to hundreds of cancer patients. They find the working fulfilling. Our cancer patients are forever grateful,” said Garrett. The Volunteer Cancer Drivers Society (VCDS) is a Registered Canadian Charity that was formed by dedicated and caring volunteers who enjoyed providing transportation for cancer patients. Knowing how patients appreciated and valued this service, these experienced and committed drivers and dispatchers now continue to offer round trip door-to-door transportation through VCDS to patients in

most areas of the Lower Mainland and the Fraser Valley. George Garrett along with other determined volunteers were the Society’s founders. “I was asked to help establish the Volunteer Cancer Drivers Society because a few of us who had been volunteer drivers with the Canadian Cancer Society were shocked when it told patients in October, 2015 that the free transportation service would be discontinued. We knew that would result in anxiety for cancer patients who have enough to worry about aside from getting to and from treatment. Using a taxi or some commercial service is just not possible… nor is using public transit such as busses and SkyTrain. It is also very hard on families, particularly if a cancer patient taking radiation has to at | L O C A L LY P U B L I S H E D S I N C E 2 0 0 0

tend 33 consecutive appointments over 6 week period. We have volunteer drivers who do just that on a regular basis.We have received support from many municipal councils, firefighters unions and some corporate sponsors plus donations from cancer patients and their families and the public at large through our website www. volunteercancerdrivers.ca. One said note of irony. One of our key founders, who had been driving cancer patients for 10 years before we started is passionate about the welfare of cancer patients. A few weeks ago he was diagnosed with cancer himself. As we all know cancer can strike anyone. Recent statistics from the Canadian Cancer Society estimate that as the population ages one half of all Canadians will be stricken by cancer. Our job is to try to make the lives of cancer patients just a little more tolerable. We now have about 100 volunteer drivers who collectively make over 500 patient trips each month” said Garrett. To learn more about the Volunteer Cancer Drivers Society, phone 604-515-5400.

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10 FRIDAYS ON FRONT

GI F w it h u s this summer as we launch Fridays on Front, a brand new weekly night market experience in Downtown New West. Historic Front Street has undergone a significant upgrade over the past few years. The City of New Westminster removed part of the parkade and reconstructed Front Street into a modern, pedestrian friendly mews, which of f icia lly opens on Friday, July 7. Fridays on Front w ill run ever y Friday evening from 5:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m. for eight consecutive weeks (July 7 to August 25) on the 600-block of Front Street. The family friendly market will feature artisan vendors from the New West Farmers Market and New West Craft, live music from the New Westminster Arts Council, Front Street businesses and of course, our favourite Food Trucks form the Columbia StrEAT Food Truck Fest. The Downtown New West BIA has teamed up with Steel & Oak Brewing Co. to fully license Front Street. You’ll be able to grab a Steel & Oak beer or glass of wine from Vancouver’s first bar truck, the Vagabond Bar Truck, then stroll throughout the event, enjoying live music, unique shopping, a riverfront breeze and scenic views. It gets even better, admission is FREE and our family friendly night markets are just mere steps away from two SkyTrain stations. With new vendors and food trucks each week, reserve your Fridays this summer for an experience that is sure to be the talk of the town. July 2017

Front Street is home to some amazing businesses; Rain City Juicery, Antique Alley Movie Props, The Wine Factory, Old Crow Coffee Co., Westley’s Military Surplus, Quay Pacific Property Management, Army & Navy, Columbia Integrated Health, Sugarrays Boxing and Hive City. Fridays on Front is your opportunity to rediscover these local gems. Presented by the Downtown New West BIA in partnership with the City of New Westminster, Bosa Development, New West Farmers Market, the Arts Council of New Westminster, and Steel & Oak Brewing Co. For more information contact Angie Whitfield, Programs & Events Manager, Downtown New West BIA, awhitfield@downtownnewwest.ca or 604-524-4996. Visit www.downtownnewwest.ca and on social media @downtownnewwest (Twitter/Instagram/Snapchat/ Facebook).

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Cap Hobbis was a master of marketing and would do just about anything to attract attention to his business. In this photo, he is taking a bath across the street from Cap’s Cycle. The event quickly gathered a crowd. The Sapperton Barber Shop and Spot’s Cafe is in the background. Does anybody know the people in the picture? In recognition of Cap’s 85 years in business, Piffle Magazine will be running photos from the past relating to Cap’s Cycle. Th is series of photos will run each month until the end of year.

Your comments about these photos are invited and can be emailed to Chrissargent@piffle.ca “Thank you for sending me a copy of your book... I’ll waste no time reading it.” ~ Moses Hadas

CROSSWORD ACROSS 3. Whitehorse is the capital city. 5. The second largest Canadian province in area. 7. The middle prairie province. 8. A western province famous for its open spaces. 9. Canada’s most western province. 10. The capital of New Brunswick. 12. The largest Canadian province in area. DOWN 1. Winnipeg is the capital city of this province. 2. The capital of Newfoundland and Labrador. 3. The capital city of the northwest territories. 4. Short for Prince Edward Island. 6. The capital of Nova Scotia. 11. This territory was born in 1999.

PIFFLE’S

HOW FAST CAN YOU GET THROUGH?

July 2017

YOU’RE CANADIAN IF… • You know how to pronounce and spell Saskatchewan without blinking. • You put on shorts as soon as it hits plus 10, even if there is still snow around. • You know what a tuque (toque?) is. • You are excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada. • You make a mental note to talk about it at work the next day. • You use a red pen on your non-Canadian textbooks and fill in the missing ‘u’s from labor, honor, and color. • You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers. • Pike is a type of fish, not some part of a highway. • You drive on a highway, not a freeway. • You know what a Robertson screwdriver is. • You understand the sentence, “Could you please pass me a serviette, I just spilled my poutine.” • You drink pop, not soda. • You love your fries with poutine. • You go to the washroom, not the restroom or bathroom. | L O C A L LY P U B L I S H E D S I N C E 2 0 0 0

• Someone accidently stepped on your foot. You apologize. • You stepped on someone’s foot. You apologize, then apologize for making them apologize. • You have worn shorts and a parka at the same time. • “Eh” is a very important part of your vocabulary and you understand all the 1,000 different meanings of “eh”, eh? WASPS He asks the assistant “Do you have ‘European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2? I believe it was released this week.” Certainly,” replies the assistant. “Would you like to listen before you buy it?” “That would be wonderful,” says the expert, and puts on a pair of headphones. He listens for a few moments and says to the assistant, “I’m terribly sorry, but I am the world’s leading expert on European wasps and this is not accurate at all. I don’t recognize any of those sounds. Are you sure this is the correct recording?” The assistant checks the turntable, and replies that it is indeed European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2. The assistant apologizes and lifts the needle onto the next track. Again the expert listens for a few moments and then says to the assistant, “No, this just can’t be right! I’ve been an expert in this field for 43 years and I still don’t recognize any of these sounds.” The assistant apologizes again and lifts the needle to the next track. The expert throws off the headphones as soon as it starts playing and is fuming with rage. “This is outrageous false advertising! I am the world’s leading expert on European wasps and no European wasp has ever made a sound like the ones on this record!” The manager of the shop overhears the commotion and walks over. “What seems to be the problem, sir?” “This is an outrage! I am the world’s leading expert on European wasps. Nobody knows more about them than I do. There is no way in hell that the sounds on that record were made by European wasps!” The manager glances down and notices the problem instantly. “I’m terribly sorry, sir. It appears we’ve been playing you the bee side.”

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July 2017

RELAX A guy goes to a psychiatrist. “Doc, I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I’m a teepee, then I’m a wigwam, then I’m a teepee, then I’m a wigwam. It’s driving me crazy. What’s wrong with me?” The doctor replies, “It’s very simple. You’re two tents.” NO PROBLEM, HONEY Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A mobile phone on a bench rings and a man engages the free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen. MAN: Hello WOMAN: Honey, it’s me… R u at the club? MAN: Yes. WOMAN: I’m at the City Centre mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It’s only $1,000 Is it OK if I buy it? MAN: Sure, go ahead if you really like it. WOMAN: I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2013 Models. I saw one I really liked. MAN: How much? WOMAN: $98,000 MAN: OK, but for that price make sure it comes with all the options. WOMAN: Great! Oh, and one more thing, the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They’re asking for $980,000. MAN: Well, then go ahead and make an offer of $900,000. They will probably take it. If not, go the extra 50 thousand if you think it’s really a pretty good price. WOMAN: OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much! You’re so generous! MAN: You’re worth it. Bye! The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, with mouths wide

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open. The man turns and asks, “Anybody knows whose phone this is?” A CAT IN HEAVEN A cat dies and goes to Heaven. God meets him at the gate and says, “You have been a good cat all of these years. Anything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask.” The cats says, “Well, I lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and had to sleep on hardwood floors.” God says, “Say no more.” And instantly, a fluffy pillow appears. A few days later, 6 mice are killed in a tragic accident and they go to Heaven. God meets them at the gate with the same offer that He made the cat. The mice said, “All our lives we’ve had to run. Cats, dogs and even women with brooms have chased us. If we could only have a pair of roller skates, we wouldn’t have to run anymore.” God says, “Say no more.” And instantly, each mouse is fitted with a beautiful pair of tiny roller skates. About a week later, God decides to check and see how the cat is doing. The cat is sound asleep on his new pillow. God gently wakes him and asks, “How are you doing? Are you happy here?” The cat yawns and stretches and says, “Oh, I’ve never been happier in my life. And those Meals on Wheels you’ve been sending over are the best!”

The cop gives him a skeptical look and says, “Were you the one being robbed?” The man casually replies, “No, I committed the robbery.” The cop looks shocked that the man admitted this. “So you’re telling me you were speeding… AND committed a robbery?” “Yes,” the man calmly says. “I have the loot in the back.” The cop begins to get angry. “Sir, I’m afraid you have to come with me.” The cop reaches in the window to subdue the man. “Don’t do that,” the man yells fearfully. “I’m scared you will find the gun in my glove compartment!” The cop pulls his hand out. “Wait here,” he says. The cop calls for backup. Soon cops, cars, and helicopters are flooding the area. The man is cuffed quickly and taken towards a car. However, before he gets in, a cop walks up to him and says, while gesturing to the cop that pulled him over, “Sir, this officer informed us that you had committed a robbery, had stolen loot in the trunk of your car, and had a loaded gun in your glove compartment. However, we found none of these things in your car.” The man replies, “Yeah, and I bet that liar said I was speeding too!”

AND WHAT ELSE DID HE SAY Late one night a man is driving down the road, speeding quite a bit. A cop notices how fast he is going and pulls him over. The cop says to the man, “Are you aware of how fast you were going?” The man replies, “Yes I am. I’m trying to escape a robbery I got involved in.”

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“Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible.” ~ Lord Kelvin, President, Royal Society, 1895

THE MATH PROFESSOR A math professor, John, is having problems with his sink so he calls a plumber. The plumber comes over and quickly fixes the sink. The professor is happy until he gets the bill. He tells the plumber, “How can you charge this much? This is half of my paycheck.” But he pays it anyway. The plumber tells him, “Hey, we are looking for more plumbers. You could become a plumber and triple your salary. Just make sure you say you only made it to 6th grade, they don’t like educated people.” The professor takes him up on the offer and becomes a plumber. His salary triples and he doesn’t have to work nearly as hard. But the company makes an announcement that all of their plumbers must get a 7th grade education. So they all go to night school. On the first day of night school they all attend math class. The teacher wants to gauge the class so he asks John, “What is the formula for the area of a circle?” John walks up to the board and is about to write the formula when he realizes he has forgotten it. So he begins to attempt to derive the formula, filling the board with complicated mathematics. He ends up figuring out it is negative pi times radius squared. He

thinks the minus doesn’t belong so he starts over, but again he comes up with the same equation. After staring at the board for a minute he looks out at the other plumbers and sees that they are all whispering, “Switch the limits on the integral!” MID SEMESTER FINAL EXAM One night Jack Evans, along with his 3 university friends went out drinking till late night, as many college students are prone to do, and didn’t study for their test, which, of course, was scheduled for the next day. In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty and weird as they could with grease and dirt. They went up to the dean and explained that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tire of their car burst. They continued to explain how they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test. The dean, being a compassionate human being said that they could take the test after 3 days. The

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students graciously replied that they’d be ready by that time.

On the third day, they appeared before the dean. The

dean explained that since this was a special test all

four were required to sit in separate classrooms for

the duration They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last three days. The test consisted of 5 questions with total of 100 points.

MID SEMESTER COURSEWORK EXAMINATION

INSTRUCTIONS: All questions are required. Any

inconsistencies on any of the questions among the

four students will result in all the candidates getting a zero mark.

1. Write down your name. (2 POINTS)

2. Write the name of the bride and groom at the wedding you attended. (30 POINTS)

3. What type of a car were you driving? (20 POINTS) 4. Which tire burst? (28 POINTS)

5. Who was driving? (20 POINTS) A FOOTBALL COACH A football coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said, “I’m not

supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there. So, what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play.” The player agreed, so coach looked into his eyes

intently and asked, “Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this. What is two plus two?” The player thought for a moment and then an-

swered, “4?”

“Did you say 4?” the coach exclaimed, excited that

he had got it right.

Suddenly all the other players on the team began

screaming… “Come on coach, give him another chance!”

TWO BACHELORS Two confirmed bachelors sat talking. Their conversation drifted from politics to cooking.

“I got a cookbook once,” said the first, “but I could

never do anything with it.”

“Too much fancy cooking in it, eh,” asked the second. “You said it. Every one of the recipes began the

same way…‘Take a clean dish and…’”

HOROSCOPES by LIZA JULY 2017 ARIES: Your probably going to hear from past lovers and friends during this time. Mercury is lighting up your 5th house of fun, enjoy the good times ahead.

TAURUS: Intuitive insights will light this period. You may feel inventive. Your mind at this time is activated; channel your talent effectively. GEMINI: Go into planning mode and not action mode. Bide your time. Conversations may grow insincere and superficial. Take heed before you speak. CANCER: Personal possessions and finances may preoccupy your mind. Plan your finances for the future and not spend what you have today. LEO: Try not to be to aggressive when conveying your wisdom to others. Make notes when sudden insights occur, they will come in handy in the near future. VIRGO: Your mind may be so receptive that it becomes overwhelmed. Transfer that energy into writing, poetry or something artistic. LIBRA: Invent or create something during this time. Individuality will not work. Get together with others for ideas and creative insights. SCORPIO: Easily depressed? Moody? Focus your energies on getting the job done. Make money the main motivator and all will be well. SAGITTARIUS: Study, do some inspired writing, get philosophical. Learn from people whose wisdom you respect. Plan that vacation now. CAPRICORN: Your depth might surprise you. Curb your sarcastic wit or arguments will occur. You may be asked to take care of wills or taxes. AQUARIUS: You will work well in group endeavors. Communications within partnerships may cause stress. Listen before reacting. PISCES: This is an excellent time for detailed work and practical thinking. In personal relationships, others may find you cold and fault finding. Be nice.

For Personality Proﬁles/Transit Report/Relationship Compatibility visit

www.lizakolbuck.com

“I never had a policy; I have just tried to do my very best each and every day.” ~ Abraham Lincoln

Do you have a joke you want to share? Submit them at www.piffle.ca/contact

KID’S CORNER with

ISAIAH

BY ROSS HOOD

PUZ ZLE #36

The principle of this puzzle is to shade, in a logical way, boxes in the grid to discover a picture solution. Numbers on the left show the sets of boxes to be shaded in the corresponding line. Numbers above the grid show the sets of boxes to be shaded in the corresponding column. There is always at least one clear box separating the shaded boxes. TIP: It is just as important to discover which boxes are clear.

HINT: GIANT’S GAME 14 1

4 10 8 12 10

Q: Which U.S. State has the smallest soft drinks? A: Mini-soda.

Q: Why did the stadium get hot after the game? A: All of the fans left.

Q: What did the duck say to the bartender? A: Put it on my bill.

Q: Why was the guy looking for fast food on his friend? A: Because his friend said dinner is on me.

Q: What did the Time Traveler do when he was still hungry after his last bite? A: He went back four seconds. Q: What do you call an unpredictable, out of control photographer? A: A loose Canon.

Q: Did you hear about the sensitive burglar? A: He takes things personally. July 2017

Q: What do you call the heavy breathing someone makes while trying to hold a yoga pose?

1 10

A: Yoga pants.

Q: How do you impress a baker when you’re taking his daughter on a date?

A: Bring her flours.

Q: Why did the yogurt go to the art exhibit? A: Because it was cultured.

Q: Where do cows hang their paintings? A: In the mooo-seum.

Q: Why did the tomato turn red?

Puzzle 1 (Medium, difficulty rating 0.51)

3 1 2

A: Because it was soda pressing. Q: What do bees do if they want to use public transit?

A: Wait at a buzz stop!

5 6

8 7

9 5

7 8

A: Because it saw the salad dressing!

Q: Why did the can crusher quit his job?

SUDOKU!

1 5

1 9

5 8

Generated by http://www.opensky.ca/sudoku on Wed 30 01:56:12 2016 GMT. Each Enjoy! block must Each column must Each rowNovmust contain all of the contain all of the contain all of the numbers 1 through 9 numbers 1 through 9 numbers 1 through 9 and no two numbers and no two numbers and no two numbers in the same column in the same row of a in the same block of of a Sudoku puzzle Sudoku puzzle can a Sudoku puzzle can can be the same. be the same. be the same.

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WHEN BEETHOVEN PASSED AWAY When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it. The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave. Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate. When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, “Ah, yes, that’s Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony, being played backwards.” He listened a while longer, and said, “There’s the Eighth Symphony, and it’s backwards, too. Most puzzling.” So the magistrate kept listening; “There’s the Seventh… the Sixth… the Fifth…” Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate; he stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, “My fellow citizens, there’s nothing to worry about. It’s just Beethoven decomposing.” THE LORD GIVITH… A young boy and his doting grandmother were walking along the sea shore when a huge wave appeared out of nowhere, sweeping the child out to sea. The horrified woman fell to her knees, raised her eyes to the heavens and begged the Lord to return her beloved grandson. Lo, another wave reared up and deposited the stunned child on the sand before her. The grandmother looked the boy over carefully. He was fine. But still she stared up angrily toward the heavens. “When we came,” she snapped indignantly, “he had a hat!”

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Evelyn Sangster Benson

GOING TO THE BEACH

By Evelyn Benson n my dad’s youth, he and his chums WALKED to Crescent Beach along the train tracks. It was called Blackie’s Spit in those days, and the boys carried everything… heavy canvas tents, food, water, utensils, clothing, lacrosse sticks — everything. As an adult, my father’s first car was a Model T Ford coupe. Taking his family to travel to the beach, took some maneuvering. Dad sat behind the wheel. Mother squeezed up close to him. Grandma sat close enough to Mother so that there was about six inches of seat for my grandpa who perched sideways on the seat with his feet planted firmly on the running-board while clutching my brother Ross, aged about 5, on his lap. The door was tied open so it couldn’t swing closed and bang my grandfather’s knees! So with four adults and one child aboard, they drove merrily to the beach, and if they passed a policeman on the way, the cop would smile and tip his hat! In the 1930s and 1940s, most families didn’t have a car, so going to Crescent Beach or White Rock by train, or to Stanley Park or Kitsilano Beach by B.C. Electric tram required a lot of planning and a very early start. But it sure beat walking. Some families looked forward to only one trip to the beach during the summer, and that was to the An-

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23 nual Sunday School Picnic. These events were highly organized outings, with foot races, softball games, swimming, sing-songs and plenty of prizes. Each family packed a lunch and the Sunday School provided a special “treat” — vanilla ice-cream Dixie Cups with little wooden spoons — delivered to the picnic park packed in canvas duffle bags filled with dry ice. During the war years, when cars weren’t being manufactured, our family was lucky to have a 1939 Pontiac sedan. But with my parents and my grandmother in the front seat, and my sister and her friends in the back seat, there wasn’t room for me and my girl friend. So we got to ride in the trunk! Yep, in the trunk - with the lid up, of course. Dad would put a bent nail through the metal arm that held up the trunk lid so that it couldn’t fall down. We’d sit with our feet on the rear bumper. A box containing a big pot of hot, home-made baked beans was wedged between us, all swathed in blankets to keep it hot until lunch time. Packed in all around us were the rest of the picnic goodies and the usual assortment of beach towels and beach toys. My friend and I would sing songs and wave to the people in the car behind us, and to other trunk-riders in cars going in the opposite direction. Sometimes our destination would be Alderside, out along the old IOCO road, where we’d spend the day with

MATH MADNESS

Try to fi ll in the missing numbers. Use the numbers 1 through 9 to complete the equations. Each number is only used once. Each row is a math equation. Each column is a math equation. Remember that multiplication and division are performed before addition and subtraction.

NUMBER BLOCKS

the Sibleys, the Hamms, the Clarence McLeans, the Ken MacKenzies and the Slim Sindons. Alderside was given its name by my Dad’s sister, Nellie McLean. I did my first swimming there, if you could call it swimming. I’d hang onto the shoulder-straps of my father’s wool bathing suit and continued on page 24

Try to fi ll in the missing numbers. The missing numbers are integers between 0 and 9. The numbers in each row add up to totals to the right. The numbers in each column add up to the totals along the bottom. The diagonal lines also add up the totals to the right.

“I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.” ~ Thomas Watson, Chairman of IBM, 1943

continued from page 23

he’d swim waaaay out to the diving raft. He’d carry me up the ladder and we’d sit on the raft for a while and I’d wave to Mother on the beach which seemed miles away. Mother didn’t approve of me piggybacking so far out in deep water. She didn’t swim, and had a real fear of water. Of course, I couldn’t swim either, but I had unwavering trust in the powerful breaststrokes my father used to carry me from and to the beach. When twilight came, families gathered around a bonfire and sang camp songs and nostalgic songs from World War I like, ‘There’s A Long, Long Trail A-winding’, ‘Keep The Home Fires Burning’, ‘Pack Up Your Troubles In Your Old Kit Bag,’ ‘It’s A Long Way To Tipperary’ and many more, led by one of the most enthusiastic sing-song leaders who ever lived — my father, Lewie Sangster. It was dark when we headed home. The beans had all been eaten, so the blankets were wrapped around us trunk-riders to keep out the evening chill. Those were simpler times. We didn’t travel at breakneck speeds on freeways, but took our time and enjoyed the ride. And we didn’t have laws that forbid us the fun of riding in the trunk of a car. That was just an unforgettable part of a family trip to the beach in bygone days.

This story is from Evelyn Benson’s awardwinning book, A CENTURY IN A SMALL TOWN — One Family’s Stories. Both Book 1 & Book 2 are available at Black Bond Books and Amazon.com. Watch for more stories in next month’s Piffle. July 2017

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Open 7 days a week!

SARGENT’S CITY SCENE FRONT STREET MEWS CELEBRATES OPENING WITH RIBBON CUTTING

he City of New Westminster is pleased to announce that the Front Street Mews project is now complete. The public is invited to the official grand opening of the Mews which will take place at the New Westminster Downtown Business Improvement Association’s first Fridays on Front event on July 7, from 5:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m. The official Front Street Mews opening will feature public art, heritage walking tours, and a new parklet at Mackenzie and Front Street. “The Front Street Mews is a key part of the City of New Westminster’s Riverfront vision to connect our neighbourhoods with the Fraser River,” stated Mayor Jonathan X. Coté. “This is an exciting and unique destination in New Westminster’s historic downtown. We are proud that we have been able to return Front Street to a pedestrian-friendly retail space with historic storefronts.” During the opening, residents and visitors will have an opportunity to take a public art and heritage walking tour to learn about newly acquired public art as well as the historic canneries, manufacturing plants, restaurants, hotels, and banks that once served the residents of the area. The unveiling of a new public art installation will also take place during the event. Birds on a Branch, by Jacqueline Metz and Nancy Chew, depicts songbirds resting on branches, and is woven into the chain-link façade of the parkade. Birds on a Branch, is one of the largest public art installations in the region. “We’d like to extend our appreciation to the local businesses and residents for their patience during the construction process,” stated City of New Westminster Director of Engineering, Jim Lowrie. “The end result speaks for itself and I encourage residents and visitors to come by to see for themselves.” The construction project began in May 2015, with the rehabilitation and demolition of continued on page 26

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CARBON MONOXIDE Carbon monoxide is often called the “silent killer” — its victims cannot see it, smell it or taste it. It is an invisible, odorless gas that can poison, and even kill you. Breathing in carbon monoxide can make you feel sick, and feel as if you have the flu. You may experience headaches, nausea, dizziness and shortness of breath. People most at risk are infants, small children, pregnant women, elderly people, and people with heart or lung problems. Carbon monoxide gas is produced by the incomplete burning of fuels. It can be released by gas furnaces, hot water heaters, cars, fireplaces, wood stoves and kerosene heaters. Faulty burners or clogged chimneys are often part of the problem. To avoid the production of CO, you should have your chimney, furnace and gas-fired appliances checked by professional technicians every year. A carbon monoxide detector is the best way to protect you and your family from this potentially deadly threat. Install CO alarms where they can be easily heard, outside each sleeping area and on ever y level of the home. When i n s t a l l i n g a CO alarm, always follow the manufacturer’s instructions. Testing of CO alarms should be done at least monthly, the replacement of batteries should be according to manufacturer’s instructions and ensure that your CO alarms are certified to the Canadian Standard Association (CSA) If your CO alarm sounds, make sure to get out of your home immediately and call 911 from a safe place.

New Westminster Fire & Rescue Services Fire Prevention Office, 1 East 6th Avenue, New Westminster, BC V3L 4G6

www.newwestcity.ca

July 2017

continued from page 25 the Front Street parkade. The

Front Street Mews is a pedestrian-friendly space and features widened sidewalks, traffic calming, new street furniture, lighting, planters, and angled parking for local businesses. A continuous paving treatment for the street and sidewalk reinforces the idea of a ‘shared street’ (i.e. designed to facilitate a wide range of activities including local access, pedestrian and bicycle movement, social interaction, commercial and restaurant activity). To learn more about the Front Street Mews and New Westminster’s Riverfront Vision please contact Blair Fryer, Communications and Economic Development Manager, City of New Westminster. 604-527-4688 or bfryer@newwestcity.ca.

BOSA DEVELOPMENT SIGNS ON AS THE FIRST CHAMPION SPONSOR OF THE NEW WEST GRAND PRIX

osa Development has signed on as the official Champion sponsor of the New West Grand Prix taking place in downtown New Westminster on Tuesday, July 11. The New West Grand Prix is the newest member of BC Superweek, one of North America’s most prestigious road cycling series. New Westminster will play host to some of the best riders in the world representing more than 13 different nationalities. “We design connected communities, placing livability at the core,” said Ryan Bosa, president of Bosa Development. “Residents in Bosa communities can walk and bike everywhere. With our commitment to energize neighbourhoods and inspire residents, Bosa Development is excited to sponsor the New West Grand Prix.” Bosa leads the pack of real estate developers who have come on board to support the New West Grand Prix. Other developers signing on as Breakaway sponsors include Domus Homes, I4 Property Group, and Skyllen Pacific. Each of these real estate developers have projects underway in New Westminster. “We are thrilled to have such great support for this event by the development community,” said Mayor Jonathan Coté. “The New West Grand Prix wouldn’t be possible without the generous financial support of our sponsors and we would like to extend our sincerest thanks to all our 2017 event sponsors.” As part of Canada’s largest professional road cycling series, the New West Grand Prix is expected to attract thousands of spectators and cycling enthusiasts to New | L O C A L LY P U B L I S H E D S I N C E 2 0 0 0

Westminster for a day of sport, entertainment, and family activities. The criterium-style race will be one of the more challenging races during the BC Superweek series with cyclists completing 45–55 laps and facing downhill speeds upwards of 60–70 km/hr. This free event will start with the kids race at 4:45 p.m., followed by the youth race at 5:30 p.m., pro women at 6:15 p.m., and pro men at 7:30 p.m. The event will conclude with an awards ceremony at 9:00 p.m. Sponsorship opportunities are still available at a variety of levels to enable businesses of all sizes to participate. For more information on these opportunities and the New West Grand Prix, please visit www.newwestgrandprix.com. For more information, contact Michelle Dean, Special Events Coordinator, City of New Westminster. 604-515-3827 or mdean@newwestcity.ca.

THE CITY OF NEW WESTMINSTER’S ANVIL CENTRE AND OFFICE TOWER RECEIVE LEED GOLD CERTIFICATION

he City of New Westminster is proud to announce that Anvil Centre and the Anvil Centre Office Tower have officially received LEED Gold Certification by the Canada Green Building Council. Anvil Centre, which opened in 2014, was built with a number of sustainable design features that align with the City’s commitment to environmental sustainability. “Throughout the planning and constructing phase, our team worked hard to ensure that Anvil Centre was built to the current sustainable building practices,” said Mayor Jonathan X. Coté. “It’s great that our staff can be recognized for their efforts and that our community can be proud to call Anvil their own.” Some of the sustainable design features of Anvil Centre include the use of high efficiency heat recovery systems and radiant flooring, increased use of natural light to reduce energy consumption, roof thermal insulation, the use of low volatile organic compounds (VOC) materials, electric vehicle charging stations, bike storage and changing facilities, and the purchase of renewable power. Moreover, 88% of construction and demolition waste was diverted from the landfill and 68% of all wood based materials are FSC certified. Anvil Centre is located at 777 Columbia Street in New Westminster and features conference spaces, including a theatre; the New Media Gallery; New Westminster Museum and Archives; and the continued on page 28

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“Comedy is not funny. Comedy is hard work and timing and lots and lots of rehearsals.” ~ Larry Hagman

continued from page 27 Lacrosse Hall of Fame. It also

hosts arts, dance, and heritage programs. For more information, contact Terry Atherton, P.Eng. Manager, Civic Buildings and Properties. 604-527-4617 or tatherton@newwestcity.ca.

NEWLY RENOVATED SAPPERTON ADVENTURE PLAYGROUND AND SPRAY PARK OPENS TO THE PUBLIC

he City of New Westminster celebrated the official opening of the Sapperton Adventure Playground and Spray Park, located on the corner of East Columbia Street and Sherbrook Street. The ceremony for the recently renovated park took place on Monday, June 26 and was attended by Mayor Jonathan Coté, City Councillors, neighbourhood students, local businesses, and City staff. As part of the first phase of the project, New Westminster Parks and Recreation staff initiated an engaging and collaborative public process that generated ideas from local residents, including the children at the neighbouring elementary school. As a result, the playground will offer a wide range of adventure play activities for kids of all ages and abilities.

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“This playground was designed after extensive consultation with children and families,” stated Mayor Jonathan Coté. “Talking with children about their new playground empowered them to apply their creativity and vision. We helped turn those great ideas into something tangible, and you can see in them a sense of pride and ownership, as well as the knowledge that their input was valued.” Through Government of Canada funding, the City of New Westminster was able to design a brand new playground and spray park. The new space not only appeals to children, but also considers the comfort of parents and caregivers with improved sight lines to the different play spaces, shaded seating areas, and social gathering spaces. “Sapperton Park has been redesigned for true adventure,” said Parks and Open Space Planner Erika Mashig, “There are opportunities to interact with natural materials like sand, water, grass mounds and boulders, and dynamic play structures built from locally sourced cedar logs that provide physical challenges and foster creative play.” The opening day event begain with special performances by Royal City Parkour, Richard McBride and Lord Tweedsmuir choirs, and activities by Red Fox Healthy Living Society. For more information, contact Dean Gibson, Director, Parks and Recreation, City of New Westminster. 604-527-4628.

NEW WESTMINSTER’S RIVERFRONT HOME TO ANOTHER LARGE SCALE ART INSTALLATION

he City of New Westminster has commissioned artists Jacqueline Metz and Nancy Chew to bring a new public artwork to the city’s riverfront. Birds on a Branch is located on the Front Street Parkade, and depicts a flock of songbirds resting on branches. “New Westminster has always supported local artists, our creative sectors, and worked to elevate our city’s reputation as a leading arts and cultural destination,” stated Mayor Johnathan X. Coté. “As we look toward fulfilling New Westminster’s Riverfront Vision, which aims to connect people to the riverfront Birds on a Branch serves as a unique and exciting destination which will draw residents and visitors alike.” A playful counterpoint to the industrial façade of the Front Street Parkade, Birds on a Branch is a light | L O C A L LY P U B L I S H E D S I N C E 2 0 0 0

hearted, gentle, and colourful artwork woven into the chain-link of the parkade. The chain-link fence canvas is approximately 660 feet long x 25 feet high, making it one of the largest public art installations in the region. “The City of New Westminster has been working towards transformation of our riverfront over the past few years and this art installation is an important part in bringing back a sense of place and creativity to an area of our downtown that has been overlooked for years.” said Mary Trentadue, City Councillor and member of the Public Art Advisory Committee. “I am very proud to see this project realized and look forward to this flock of birds joining the neighbourhood.” Please join city staff for the official public opening of Birds on a Branch on July 7 at 5:00 p.m. at the Front Street Mews as part of the inaugural Fridays on Front event. For more information contact Biliana Velkova, Arts Coordinator, Office of the CAO, City of New Westminster, bvelkova@newwestcity.ca or 604-515-3822.

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CITY OF NEW WESTMINSTER LOWERS SPEED LIMITS TO 30 KM/H ON BIKEWAYS

Generated by http://www.opensky.ca/sudoku on Wed Nov 30 01:56:12 2016 GMT. Enjoy!

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ew Westminster City Council has adopted new slower speed limits along bikeways, greenways and streets that do not allow cycling on sidewalks, in an effort to improve safety on New Westminster streets. “Speed has a huge impact on whether someone is seriously injured or killed in a collision and whether collisions happen at all,” stated Mayor Jonathan X. Coté, “Lower speeds are an important tool to make New Westminster’s roads safer for all.” The Advisory Committee for Transit, Bicycles and Pedestrians (ACTBiPed) made the recommendation after researching options to make cycling safer and more comfortable. Reduced speed continued on page 31

What is the oldest city in Western Canada?

NUMBER BLOCKS

MATH MADNESS

Each column must contain all of the numbers 1 through 9 and no two numbers in the same column of a Sudoku puzzle can be the same.

1 9

2 5 9 6 1 4 7 3 8

Each row must contain all of the numbers 1 through 9 and no two numbers in the same row of a Sudoku puzzle can be the same.

9 6 7 8 5 2 1 4 3

5 1 3 9 4 7 8 6 2

8 4 2 3 6 1 9 7 5

Each block must contain all of the numbers 1 through 9 and no two numbers in the same block of a Sudoku puzzle can be the same.

7 9 4 5 2 6 3 8 1

3 2 1 4 7 8 5 9 6

1 1

8 5

1 1

2 4

1 5

1 10 1

1 2 2 3 14 1

2 2

4 10 8 12 10

3 HOW FAST CAN YOU GET THROUGH?

PUZ ZLE #36

Puzzle 1 (Medium, difficulty rating 0.51)

SUDOKU!

HINT: GIANT’S GAME

9 7

1 2

1 1

6 4

PIFFLE’S

PIFFLE PUZZLE SOLUTIONS “In small proportions we just beauties see; And in short measures, life may perfect be.” ~ Ben Jonson

THE EXPLORER

POET’S CORNER with

JANET KVAMMEN

VICE-PRESIDENT, ROYAL CITY LITERARY ARTS SOCIETY

An explorer walked into a clearing and was surprised

to see a pigmy standing beside a huge dead elephant. “Did you kill that,” he asked. The pigmy answered:

“Yes”. “How could a little bloke like you kill something as huge as that?”

“I killed it with my club” replied the pigmy.

“That’s amazing,” said the explorer. “How big’s your

club?”

The pigmy replied: “There’s about 150 of us”

signing up, singing away

GRANDMA

under pulse of tectonic echo, vibration of last spike, in renewal through fire

The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her

foundation triptych of soft lumber, porn and pot rolled on waggons of perpetual movie set where it is always yesterday, tomorrow propelled on the thin grease of hi-tech, oil minimum wage an anchorage of cargo ships constipated with plastic in the housing that we cannot own. Yet we are more than this the subcutaneous Pacific in our speech warm wrap of rain pressed to the forehead morning boxy hips of cow stewed meadow circumference, demand of mountain in our words thicket of cribbing lake, tattooed arm silence. Rip up the paving slabs to dig up paradise breathing, glittering under our gridded streets a river, a wealth of possibility. Look around we are black with wealth beneath our broken finger nails all nations, all known experience in our hands. Alan Hill is the Poet Laureate of the City of New Westminster and a proud resident of the Cit y. His work has appeared in over forty literary magazines in Canada, USA and the UK and he has published two poetry collections with Silver Bow Publishing. If you run a group or an activity in New Westminster and would like Alan to come and read or write for your group contact him at afjhill@hotmail.com.

Welcoming New Westminster Poets! Please submit your “New West” poems by emailing Janet at janetkvammen@rclas.com Visit www.rclas.com for all the latest events. July 2017

wheelchair, where the activities for her 100th birthday were taking place. Grandma couldn’t speak very well, but she could write notes when she needed to communicate.

After a short time out on the lawn, Grandma started

leaning off to the right, so some family members

grabbed her straightened her up, and stuffed pillows

on her right. A short time later, she started leaning off

to her left, so again the family grabbed her and stuffed pillows on her left.

Soon she started leaning forward, so the family

members again grabbed her, then tied a pillowcase around her waist to hold her up. A grandson, who

arrived late, came up to Grandma and said, “Hi, Grandma, you’re looking good! How are they treating you?” Grandma took out her little notepad and slowly

wrote a note to the grandson… “They won’t let me toot.”

METEOROLOGIST Although he was a qualified meteorologist, a local

broadcaster ran up a terrible record of forecasting

for the TV news program. He became something of a

local joke when a newspaper began keeping a record of his predictions and showed that he’d been wrong almost three hundred times in a single year.

That kind of notoriety was enough to get him fired. He moved to another part of the country and ap-

plied for a similar job. One blank on the job application called for the reason for leaving his previous position. In the blank he wrote quite honestly, “The climate

didn’t agree with me.”

| L O C A L LY P U B L I S H E D S I N C E 2 0 0 0

continued from page 29 limits have shown to reduce

the probability of a crash occurring, and the severity of injuries if a crash were to occur. Additionally, lower speed limits encourage more people to consider walking and cycling as a daily mode of travel. The lower speed limit is in conjunction with other efforts since the Master Transportation Plan was implemented in 2014, such as improving the Rotary Crosstown Greenway, the Brunette Fraser Greenway, and installing additional bicycle parking in the Uptown neighbourhood. The 30 km/h speed limit will first take effect along the Rotary Crosstown Greenway, followed by the LondonDublin Greenway and the Central Valley Greenway. Lastly, the 30 km/h speed limit will be extended to all streets that do not allow cycling on the sidewalk, by mid-2018. For more information on the ActBiPed Committee and cycling in New Westminster, please visit www.newwestcity.ca. For more information contact Lisa Leblanc, P.Eng., M.Sc., Manager, Transportation, 604-515-3786 or lleblanc@newwestcity.ca.

CANADA REVENUE AGENCY SCAM IS HITTING NEW WESTMINSTER

604-517-1230 oktirenw@shaw.ca

WE HAVE MOVED! WE ARE NOW AT 641 LOUGHEED HWY New Westminster

he New Westminster Police department is warning the public that the Canada Revenue Agency scam is hitting New Westminster with a renewed intensity. “We have received a wave of calls from residents advising us that people claiming to work for the CRA are calling to collect fictitious debts,” stated Media Relations Officer Sergeant Jeff Scott. “The taxpayer is often threatened with court charges, jail or even deportation.” Just this week, a New Westminster resident was nearly defrauded out of $3,000. They were asked to purchase iTunes cards and provide the purchased iTunes card numbers to the fraudsters. Thankfully this resident suspected the scam and came to police, but only after they were called from a number which displayed as the same phone number of the New Westminster Police non-emergency line. The New Westminster Police Department would like to stress that we do not deal with tax issues. New Westminster residents should be wary of any CRA phone calls with an Ontario phone number. The CRA advises Canadians to confirm the status of their tax accounts before taking any action that may be the result of pressure from continued on page 32

Signs & Printing

“Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.” ~ Miles Kingston

STRATA LIVING ACCESS TO MY STRATA LOT

By Tony Gioventu, Executive Director, Condominium Home Owners' Association of BC Dear Tony: My strata corporation is insisting that I provide a key to my strata lot so fire safety inspections can be done. They scheduled the service on a day I was not available, and now they are advising that I have to pay for an additional service and provide a key to ensure our strata lot is included in the next service call. I feel very uncomfortable giving the strata a key so what are my options? ~ Callie E. Dear Callie: Access to a strata lot for maintenance and inspection is a bylaw issue. Under the standard bylaws, owners must make their strata lots available for inspection for these types of services where the strata corporation is responsible to maintain and repair the fire safety system because it is common property. The strata corporation must provide at least 48 hours notice to access the strata lot and the strata has to advise the owner of the reason for access. If you do not pro-

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vide access, the strata corporation may be required to enforce their bylaw, which could include fines, or they may make an application to the Civil Resolution Tribunal ordering you to comply with the bylaws and provide access. Check your bylaws to determine if there are any variations. Consider it this way. If you lived in a detached home, you would still have to make arrangements to be at home, or for someone to be in attendance, to permit a service technician access. Perhaps make arrangements with a family member, friend or a neighbor that you trust who can be quickly available to permit access for the inspection. You do not have to provide a key to your strata, but you do have to provide access at some point so they can meet their obligations. When you live in a strata, your home is not your castle. It is a collective of owners who share common property, facilities, services and amenities.

This publication contains general information only and is not intended as legal advice. Use of this publication is at your own risk. CHOA, the author and related entities will not be liable to you or any other person for any loss or damage arising from, connected with or relating to the use of this publication or any information contained herein by you or any other person. The contents of this publication may not be reproduced, blogged, or distributed in any fashion without the explicit prior consent of the writer.

Direct office phone: 604-515-9683 Office email: tony@choa.bc.ca Mobile: 604-323-6458

Condominium Home Owners Association of BC

continued from page 31 suspicious calls or emails, and

to verify the legitimacy of the communication by contacting the CRA directly at 1-800-959-8281. The best course of action to take to prevent others from falling victim to the CRA scam is to talk to elderly friends and family about the scam and how it works. Please call New Westminster Police at 604-529-2423 if you have been victimized by the scam. If you would like to learn more about the Canada Revenue Agency scam you can visit their website www.cra-arc.gc.ca/ scrty/frdprvntn/menu-eng.html. | L O C A L LY P U B L I S H E D S I N C E 2 0 0 0

HEARING BETTER NOW An elderly man was having hearing problems and went to see a specialist. The doctor fitted him with some hearing aids that brought his hearing back to full strength. After a few weeks the man came back to make sure the new equipment was working properly, which it was. The hearing specialist said, “It all seems perfect. Your family should be delighted you can hear everything now.” “Oh no,” the man responded. “I haven’t told any of them. I just sit quietly, listening carefully. I’ve changed my will four times.” THE POND An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple, and peach trees. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn’t been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back

some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, “We’re not coming out until you leave!” The old man frowned, “I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.” Holding up the bucket he said, “I’m just here to feed the alligator.” Some old men can still think fast.

ATTACKED A sloth calls the police to report that he was attacked and robbed by a gang of turtles. When the police ask him to describe the attack, he replies: “I… Doooon’t… knoooow… It… all… happened… soooooo… fasssst…” BAD TIMING Statistical studies prove that at the age of 80, there are four females for every male. Hell of a time for a guy to get odds like that.

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MEMBERS & GUESTS WELCOME! “Life is short and the older you get, the more you feel it. Indeed, the shorter it is.” ~ Viggo Mortensen

Missing an issue of Piffle Magazine?

DOG FOOD Last week at Walmart I had a big bag of Happy Dog Chow in my cart, and as I passed a woman shopper she asked me if I had a dog. What did she think I had, a giraffe? Well, I’m retired and always on the lookout for fun, so I told her I didn’t actually have a dog, but I was starting on the “Happy Dog” diet again. “It’s really simple” I said. “You just keep your pockets full of Happy Dog chunks, and every time you feel your stomach rumble you just pop a couple in your mouth. It’s nutritionally complete, has lots of fiber, and last time I lost 25 pounds.” A few more people had stopped and were listening by this time, and they all seemed mesmerized. When you live long enough to be retired, you realize people will believe anything if you make it interesting. So I really cranked it up and said, “Even though it worked great and I lost weight, I’m not sure it’s a good idea, because last time I wound up in intensive care.” The woman opened her eyes wide and asked, “Were you poisoned by the dog food?” “No,” I said. “I ran into the street to sniff a Golden Retriever’s butt and a motorcycle slammed into me.” NOT OLD You’re not elderly, you’re “chronologically gifted.”

IMPERIAL PHARMACY 981 Carnarvon St New Westminster 604-523-6767

IMPERIAL PHARMACY is pleased to carry many of the back issues from the past years. July 2017

HOSPITAL REGULATIONS Hospital rules state that patients checking out must have a wheelchair. One day a newly graduated nurse assistant came into the room to find an elderly man fully dressed. He was sitting on the bedside chair, with a piece of packed luggage at his side, all ready to go. When he was shown the wheelchair, he was adamant that he was fully capable of walking himself to the parking lot. But the assistant told him rules were rules, so he relented and let her wheel him out. In the elevator, the assistant asked the elderly man if his wife was coming to meet him. “I don’t think so,” he replied. “It takes her awhile to change her clothes, so she’s probably still upstairs in the bathroom taking off of her hospital gown and getting dressed.” | L O C A L LY P U B L I S H E D S I N C E 2 0 0 0

Community AUTO SALES

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/issue

THIS IS YOUR I N V I TAT I O N !

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604-525-9027

chrissargent@piffle.ca

ICBC GLP Qualified Instructor www.kddrivingschool.ca

778-855-8273

Quinn Waddington, CFA

Investment Advisor, Portfolio Manager FPSC Level 1® Certificant in Financial Planning Canaccord Genuity Wealth Management T: 604.699.0874 E: quinn.waddington@canaccord.com www.waddingtonwealth.ca

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RENAISSANCE

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SERVING YOUR COMMUNITY 325 6th Street New Westminster, BC Tel: 604-521-0363 Service at 11am See you at church!

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| L O C A L LY P U B L I S H E D S I N C E 2 0 0 0

One Year and Counting

t is amazing to think that it has already been a full year since I took the plunge and created Waddington Wealth Management Group. I had previously worked in the industry for 8 years, with the majority of that as an Associate Investment Advisor for another team. I definitely learned a lot over those 8 years but decided it was time to take the knowledge and experience that I gained and create my own group with a strong focus on truly doing what is best for the client. It has always been my belief that if you looked after your clients and did what was in their best interest, your clients would in turn take care of you. I have made that my business model and looking back I couldn’t be happier with that decision. In just the first 12 months, Waddington Wealth Management Group has more than doubled in size and I only have my wonderful clients to thank for that. I have received numerous referrals from current clients and have also recently had the pleasure of meeting new people and having them say “so-and-so raves about you” or “so-and-so speaks super highly of you”. Having my clients refer friends to me and speak about me in that way is humbling but also the best confirmation that my business model is the only way I want to run my business. Starting my own group has definitely increased my workload but it has also allowed me more flexibility in my day. This has given me more time to volunteer over

the last year with the two largest roles including joining the boards for both the New Westminster Chamber of Commerce and the Royal City Rotary Club. The other thing that has allowed me the flexibility has been all of the support that I have received from my family and friends. My wife, Liz, has been everything I could ask for in a partner. On top of her full-time job she makes sure our two boys have the childhood they deserve and keeps our home running. Speaking of our two boys, they are a constant reminder of what life is all about and I thank them for that. Our parents and friends that have provided childcare, meals and even housework have also been amazing. It has been a wonderfully busy year and I will always look back on it fondly. With that said, I am looking forward to what year two has to offer. I am looking forward to working and growing with my clients. I am look forward to meeting and helping new people. I am looking forward to contributing more to my community. Lastly, I am looking forward to summer! Quinn Waddington, CFA Investment Advisor, Portfolio Manager FPSC Level 1® Certificant in Financial Planning

Canaccord Genuity Wealth Management T: 604.699.0874 E: quinn.waddington@canaccord.com

w w w.waddingtonwealth.com “The little windflower, whose just opened eye is blue as the spring heaven it gazes at.” ~ William C. Bryant

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