Piffle Magazine 2017-09 by Sargent's Piffle

YOUR DIABETES RESOURCE CENTRE

WE ARE OPEN Mon to Fri 9am – 6pm Sat 9am – 2:30pm Sun 9am – 1:30pm

981 Carnarvon St New Westminster

604-523-6767

LOCALLY PUBLISHED SINCE 2000

CITY SCENE MAGAZINE

September 2017 Issue #204

“ CUPE 387 members are not just municipal government union workers. They are also residents, tax payers and consumers in the City of New Westminster. We spend our money in the City and enjoy the services provided by many businesses in our community.” — George Habib Canadian Union of Public Employees representative George Habib reflects on the positive role his union has had on our community. See story on page 8.

Get your online… fast and free! www.piffle.ca /subscribe

“Let’s Get Ahead Together”

Roveen Kandola & Associates 2015

604-644-7653(SOLD)

Re/Max Real Estate Services N. Tower 410-650 West 41st Ave. Independently Owned and Operated.

www.387.cupe.ca

Peter Julian, MP New Westminster – Burnaby

Need help with federal issues such as E.I., Income Tax, Canada Pension and Canada Student Loan? Please contact Peter Julian’s Community office for assistance.

Peter Julian’s Community Office (Near New Westminster SkyTrain)

#110-888 Carnarvon St, New Westminster

Phone: 604-775-5707 l Email: peter.julian.c1@parl.gc.ca

N H E O Q R O H S R F S W P Y J L M Q P N L F J U

S U C U A C K R J P N Y N X A M C B F U M Q S S Z

K U A D S U E B K O O L D X Y I D U L V E A D J A

G N Z C Z A J M I O D E M E B N D A F V D O E L I

V I T X Y G X T K L T B E T Q O K B Z N Y M O H V

I O Y P N R A C O A L B N I V I J Z B X W A K B W

V N L Q G I T D E K F I U G M T B N L F O T A V A

Q C O T T E A B F Y J G W Q X A N Q U W U S C N V

T W O O Z V J N M H T A I Z U C C U Q F X C J C W

M U G U M A R D T E G W J Y H I G A X N I G R B E

Z E X P L N N A P U D X N Y I F B V U G L L P W V

N H N R B C Z X D S O I H H T I B R J A E E L T F

Q N U T Z E S O O N G N A I L T D E I P O N L U P

R C O U L T C L D P N C O T A A G T P A P T K G Q

G B U I R O I E Q P D C J E I R S O U P G F O Y V

J X Q I T D Z G F L R F W S D O T Y D O M O E R I

T Y K Z A A L H T A Z A K S T S N H O X K Y R O G

U E S R Y M R V E Q H Y B A E E Y X U A B C S K A

R F I U Y M U T C Z L Y N P Q X R X B W O F O D A

E T G Y R B F R I Y F P N M E S W M F D K D Z L F

Y R V O P T K G C B G D J I Z W B M S L I F B H M

A B E Y A N C E N W R R K H H D P L F B W T O H W

K F I S C M I Z A O R A C V K Z S G F B H N N R X

U U G N I N I A G R A B C Q G J N U P Y D A H J L

F Y E U S H D V H B Q N V F S O L M I E S J Z Y J

WORD SEARCH ABEYANCE

MEDIATION

ARBITRATION

NEGOTIATIONS

BARGAINING

RATIFICATION

CAUCUS SOLIDARITY ESTOPPEL GRIEVANCE

STRIKE

IMPASSE

TERM

LOCKOUT

UNION

Judy Darcy MLA

A Strong Voice for New Westminster

judydarcy.ca September 2017

judy.darcy.mla@leg.bc.ca

604.775.2101

| L O C A L LY P U B L I S H E D S I N C E 2 0 0 0

MLA’S REPORT By Judy Darcy

h e n t h e L e g i sl at u r e sit s on September 8, I will be looking at the people’s house from a totally different perspective: along with my caucus colleagues, this time I will be sitting on the government side of the house! The new BCNDP government needs to introduce a Throne Speech as the first order of business and I believe we’ll hear about some of the steps we’ve already taken to make life more affordable for British Columbians. These include: • Ending tuition fees for adult education and ELL classes • Creating a relief fund for small businesses impacted by the worst wild fire season in BC history • Raising the minimum wage as a first step to getting to $15 per hour • Announcing the re-establishment of the BC Human Rights Commission • Banning the grizzly bear trophy hunt • Travelling to Washington DC to stand up for BC forestry workers As the new Minister for Mental Health and Addictions, my first priority is to save lives immediately in the face of the overdose crisis. I am getting out and talking to people on the front lines of the crisis. I want to hear what’s working and what more is needed.

In my first days on the job, I visited the Downtown Eastside and Surrey, and I plan to visit other areas of the province in the coming weeks. I have heard deeply personal stories from everyday people struggling with addiction. It is for these people who are suffering all around the province and their families that we need to build a more seamless, continuous system for mental health and addictions. I had the privilege to meet with first responders, health providers, staff and volunteers working in community agencies on the frontlines of this crisis. They give their heart and soul every day to improve services and save lives — and they have saved countless lives. For that, I thank them. But we know the system overall is fragmented and uncoordinated, and people wait far too long for the treatment they need. We also need to look at underlying issues like stigma, poverty, homelessness and housing, and to work with First Nations leaders on the unique issues faced by Indigenous people who are so disproportionately affected by the overdose crisis. We are working closely and collaboratively with partners and stakeholders, provincial ministries and all levels of government on both immediate and longer-term solutions. We have a whole lot more lives we need to save, and we’re getting to work to do just that.

LegalShield on the go!

Everyone deserves legal protection! Unexpected legal questions arise every day, and with LegalShield on your side, you’ll have access to a quality law firm 24/7, for covered emergency situations. For as little as $23 a month, LegalShield gives you the ability to talk to an attorney on any personal legal matter without worrying about high hourly costs. Under the protection of LegalShield, you or your family can live your lives worry free. Even better, you don’t have to figure out which attorney to use—we’ll do that for you. We’ve been offering legal plans to our members for over 45 years, creating a world where everyone can access legal protection—and everyone can afford it. From real estate to speeding tickets to Will preparation and beyond, we’re here to help you with any personal legal matter— no matter how traumatic or how trivial it may seem.

The LegalShield app puts your law firm in the palm of your hand. If you have legal questions, use the app to call your law firm directly. You can even send information to your law firm with features like Prepare Your Will and Snap (for speeding tickets). The LegalShield app makes it easy to access legal guidance you can trust. Download the ree app from the App Store or Google Play.

For More Information, Contact Your Independent Associate

Sue Warner www.suewarner.ca

suewarner.bc@gmail.com

604.454.7949

“Everything that can be invented has been invented.” ~ Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899

Sargent’s Word Search �� 2 Locally Published Since 2000 Fourth floor, 604 Columbia St New Westminster, BC V3M 1A5

Chris Sargent 604-525-9027

Owner & Publisher chrissargent@piffle.ca

Verne Siebert 604-763-6304

Sales Representative vernesiebert@piffle.ca Graphic Design: Cliff Blank Email: production@piffle.ca

www.piﬄe.ca

MLA’s Report by Judy Darcy �� 3 Imperial Pharmacy Community Page �� 7 Labour Day is Not Just a National Holiday by Murray Gore, Unifor �� 8

Cap’s Cycling Back in Time �� 11 A-Maze-In �� 12

Pictograph by Ross Hood �� 18 Sargent’s Sudoku! �� 18 The Great Fire of 1898 by Evelyn

Benson �� 23 New Westminster Fire and

Rescue Services �� 27 Piffle Quiz �� 29 Puzzle Solutions �� 29

Sargent’s Crossword �� 12

Poet’s Corner with

Serving Our Community by George Habib �� 13

Piffle Quiz Answer �� 31

Sargent’s Math Madness �� 17 Sargent’s Number Blocks �� 17 Horoscopes by Liza �� 17

Kid’s Corner with Isaiah �� 18

Janet Kvammen �� 30 Strata Living by Tony Gioventu �� 32 Piffle Business Directory �� 36 Waddington Wealth

Management Group �� 37

GALLERY

30% Off

40% Off

Experience Merit It was over 40 years ago that Merit Kitchens was founded by craftspeople in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada, and began providing Western Canada with high-quality kitchen cabinets. The company has long since grown into a world-class supplier of beautiful cabinetry, representing superior quality and extraordinary value. Today, Merit’s product can be found in homes throughout Canada, the United States, and parts of Asia. D E S I G N S T U D I O

HKDESIGNSTUDIO.CA

2A 709 TWELFTH STREET, NEW WESTMINSTER BC. INFO@HKDESIGNSTUDIO.CA

TEL: 604.553.8188

N C

FREE BOOK

How to Get Your Best Hearing Possible Without Overpaying... Most people avoid doing something about their hearing because they're embarrassed that hearing aids will make them look old or they don't want to make the wrong decision when they're spending a lot of money on hearing aids. It can be confusing when you’re constantly bombarded with misleading advertising, confusing claims, and offers that sound “too good to be true”. Written by local hearing industry expert, Jamie Larsen, this unique 32 page ‘Insiders Guide’ will show you exactly what you need to know about quality and price while revealing valuable insights about what you need to consider before buying hearing aids.

Here’s What You’ll Discover...

What You’re Really Paying for When Getting Hearing Aids Why There Is Such a Big Price Difference Between Some Hearing Aids The Mistakes People Make When Trying to Find the Right Hearing Aid and more... Included: Checklist of 25 questions you must ask your hearing professional before buying

Shipped by

For a 100% Free Copy Delivered by Canada Post Mail, Call:

844-506-3400

NOTE: You will not need to speak with anybody. This is a 24 hour free recorded message for you to tell us where to send your book

www.savvyhearingaidbuyer.com

YOUR DIABETES RESOURCE CENTRE Review Us on

✔ FREE In-Store Blood Pressure Monitoring ✔ FREE Blister Packing Most Extended Health Plans accepted. Easy transfer of prescriptions. Serving New Westminster since 2003. We thank all of you for your continued support over the years!

PHOTO: Gabor Gasztonyi

NO WE CARE ABOUT YOUR HEALTH TOBACCO WE CARE ABOUT YOUR KIDS HEALTH WE ARE PROUD TO NOT SELL TOBACCO

More Space + More Products + More Services HOURS: MON TO FRI 9AM–6PM SAT 9AM–2:30PM • SUN 9AM–1:30PM

981 Carnarvon St, New Westminster

604.523.6767

September 2017

sue? Missing an is ACY RM A PH L IM PE RIA y rr ca is pleased to sues -is ck ba e th many of year. from the past

Visit us ONLINE at ImperialPharmacy.ca

| L O C A L LY P U B L I S H E D S I N C E 2 0 0 0

IMPERIAL PHARMACY FREE: COME TRY RINGETTE

September 9 & 16, 3:15 p.m. – 4:45 p.m. Moody Park Arena, 701 Eighth Ave Come join members of the Burnaby New West Ringette Association and learn how to play this FUN sport! This free event is open to children between the ages of 4-14 who want to try Ringette. Beginner skaters are welcome! All you need to bring are some warm clothes and gloves. Protective padding is recommended so if you have elbow or knee pads please bring them along. Free skate and helmet rentals will be available at the skate shop. Please arrive approximately 15-20 minutes before the ice time so equipment can be fitted properly. Please note all participants will need a waiver signed by their parent/guardian prior to getting on the ice. Pre-registration for this free event is required. For more information please email promotions@bnwr.ca.

NW DOWNTOWN RESIDENTS’ ASSOCIATION AGM

September 6, 7:00 p.m. Holy Trinity Cathedral, 514 Carnarvon St Guest speaker: Eric Pattison, Architect Followed by our AGM. Come join us and help us elect our new Board of Directors at Kelly O’Bryan’s, 800 Columbia St, New Westminster. Please let us know upon your arrival if you are interested in serving on the Board. New memberships/renewals $5.00

POETIC JUSTICE READING SERIES

September 17, 11:30 a.m. – 1:30 p.m. Boston Pizza, 1045 Columbia St, New Westminster Operating since 2010, Poetic Justice hosts two featured poets and an open mic on the

third Sunday of each month. This month’s readers are Theresa Kishkan and John Pass. Admission by donation. For mor information, contact James Felton, 604-767-6908, james@poeticjusticenewwest.org www.poeticjusticenewwest.org

FRATERNAL OR OF EAGLES FUN RAISERS Saturday, September 9, 9:30 a.m. – 4:00 p.m. Save On Foods 1025 Columbia St, New Westminster Fraternal Order of Eagles is holding a hot dog sale and spin the wheel. All proceeds to B.C. Children’s Hospital & Rick Hansen Spin Cord Research Fraternal Order of Eagles is also holding a fundraiser for Rick Hansen Spinal Cord Research at Chan’s Garden 441 East Columbia St, New Westminster on Thursday September 28, 6:00 p.m. Tickets $25.00 ea. For tickets call Joan at 604-521-2391.

benefiting Greatest Needs at Royal Columbian Hospital Foundation. Sponsorship Opportunities still available. Limited tickets left. Registration: 10:30 a.m. Brunch: 10:30 a.m. – 11:30 a.m. Shotgun: 12:00 p.m. Dinner: 5:30 p.m.

NWSS CLASS OF 1969 GRAD GET TOGETHER Saturday, September 30, 2:00 p.m. Rivers Reach Pub, 320 Sixth St, New Westminster. This is a drop in so please tell any grads that you are in touch with or know. No cover charge and no formal dress but please dress. (Others welcome if you behave).

OPEN MIC AT RENAISSANCE BOOKS September 20, 7:00 p.m. – 9:00 p.m. Open Mic at Renaissance Books at 712B – 12 St, New Westminster Candice James is the featured poet hosted by Janene White Cat Musings.

MAYOR COTÉ’S CHARITY GOLF CLASSIC September 25, 10:30 a.m. – 9:00 p.m. Point Grey Golf & Country Club, 3350 SW Marine Dr, Vancouver Royal Columbian Hospital Foundation has proudly partnered with Terminal City Club and the City of New Westminster to bring you the inaugural Mayor Coté’s Charity Golf Classic,

MON TO FRI 9AM-6PM | SAT 9AM-2:30PM | SUN 9AM-1:30PM 981 Carnarvon Street, New Westminster | 604-523-6767 “I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that’s 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says ‘go outside.’” ~ Demetri Martin

LABOUR DAY IS NOT JUST A NATIONAL HOLIDAY L By Murray Gore, Unifor abour Day is not just a National Holiday; it is a time to remember those who fought hard to get the rights we as workers enjoy today. There have been a lot of sacrifices to get to where we are today but there is still more to be done. Wage theft has become an epidemic. It is time that the good employers joined with the organizations such as the Employment Standards Coalition to lobby the government on creating harsher penalties for those employers who don’t pay their workers minimum wage, vacation pay, or the proper overtime as this creates unfair competition. This has got to change. There are too many people that are scared of losing their jobs if they complain so they keep working long hours with no overtime premium. Workers who do not have Union representation at their workplace must know that Unions are advocating on their behalf to make things better. For example it is the Labour movement that is backing the Fight For $15 minimum wage campaign and changes to the Employment Standards Act that workers need. The Employment Standards Act is not a replacement for a collective agreement. When surveyed workers would rather work for an employer that is unionized, this is because there is more stability for them when the workplace is organized into a Union. Union members are out working in their communities helping September 2017

those who need assistance, from volunteering or donating money to charity organizations. When looking at the list of donors for the various charities you will see a lot of Union’s on the list. With the wild fires here in BC Union members and their Unions donated money to the Red Cross to make sure that there was support for all those affected. Unifor for example put out a call to their members getting an inventory of members who had trailers and campers, as well as rooms that those who were affected could live in while they were evacuated from their homes, and they worked on the logistics of pairing people up with places to stay all on a volunteer basis. When attending various local functions you will find Union members volunteering to staff many of the positions needed for different events to make sure all that attend can enjoy the festivities. The Aboriginal games are an example where Unifor members stepped up to make sure the event was a success. Not only was Unifor a sponsor Unifor members volunteered their time to fill the various positions needed to make sure the games went smooth. Union members stand for everyone’s rights, and it is Union members who stand in the frontlines to shield those who are not strong enough to stand up for their rights. When thinking of Unions most people think that it is all about

collective bargaining and just looki n g a f ter ser v icing their own members. But when you look closer it is the Union Murray Gore movement leading the way in bringing about lasting change in Canadian Society. Unions go beyond the bargaining table. Be sure to remember those who fought hard for the rights we enjoy as workers today, because it wasn’t easy. Without collective action we would all still be working 7 days a week 18 hours a day. Employers and governments didn’t just give these rights freely, workers had to fight long and hard, and some lost their lives standing up for what they believed in. Holland Park located at 13248 Old Yale Road will be the location of this year’s Greater Vancouver Labour Day Celebration on Monday, September 4. Bring your family out to enjoy the festivities from 11:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m., where there will be free food and lots of activities for you and your kids. For more information, contact the Unifor Area Office at 326 12th St, 2nd Floor, New Westminster. C a l l 6 0 4 - 5 2 2 -7 9 11 o r e m a i l newwestminster@unifor.org. | L O C A L LY P U B L I S H E D S I N C E 2 0 0 0

JOKES THAT YOUNGSTERS CAN TAKE BACK TO SCHOOL (PART 1) Q: Where do polar bears vote? A: The North Pole. Q: Why couldn’t the pirate play cards? A: Because he was always on the deck. Q: What has four wheels and flies? A: A trash truck. Q: What do you give to a sick lemon? A: Lemon aid. Q: What’s a tornado’s favorite game to play? A: Twister. Q: What do you get when you throw a lot of books in the ocean? A: A title wave. Q: Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up? A: Because it was two-tired. Q: What did the mouse say to the other mouse when it tried to steal the cheese? A: That’s Nacho Cheese!

NEW WESTMINSTER COUNCIL OF WOMEN

Guy Quesnel 604-524-2922 771 6th Street New Westminster, BC Email guyd.quesnel@shaw.ca

A UNION BARBER SHOP

Serving in the community for 117 Years. Wednesday, September 27 at 11:00 a.m. Buy Low meeting room 555 6th Street in Westminster Mall Guest Speaker: Barbara Hall Admission $5.00 For reservations contact: Florence Erwin

Tues to Thurs 8:30 a.m.–5:00 p.m. Friday 7:30 a.m.–5:00 p.m. Saturday 8:00 a.m.–4:00 p.m. Closed Sunday and Monday

erinf@shaw.ca or Barbara Hall

bhallpcw@shaw.ca

“Louis Pasteur’s theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.” ~ Pierre Pachet, Professor of Physiology at Toulouse, 1872

10 Our small prices will leave you with a…

Call Verne at 604-763-6304 or Chris at 604-525-9027 to advertise.

Ken McIntosh Rod Drown Researchers

604.619.8455 New book on the MacLaughlan Murders due soon. #360-729 6th St, New Westminster, BC V3L 3C5

PIFFLE WISDOM • I started out with nothing… I still have most of it. • Some days you’re the dog, some days the hydrant. • I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart. • Funny, I don’t remember being absent minded. • If all is not lost, where is it? • It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser. • If at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished. • The first rule of holes: If you are in one, stop digging. • I went to school to become a wit, only got halfway through. • It was all so different before everything changed. • Nostalgia isn’t what is used to be. • Old programmers never die. They just terminate and stay resident. • A day without sunshine is like a day in Prince Rupert. • I wish the buck stopped here. I could use a few. • Old people shouldn’t eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get. • Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip round the sun. • The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you’re in the bathroom. • If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees. • Lead me not into temptation (I can find the way myself). • If you’re living on the edge, make sure you’re wearing your seat belt. • An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys. • It’s not hard to meet expenses… they’re everywhere. • Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better attorney.

Rebates and Special Financing on all New 2017 Models FREE MARKET APPRAISALS

CALL

Joanie Von Schribar

604-299-9181 4650 Lougheed Hwy, Burnaby New & Used Vehicles & Trucks

*Please present this ad.

$250 FREE GAS WITH ANY VEHICLE PURCHASE!* September 2017

| L O C A L LY P U B L I S H E D S I N C E 2 0 0 0

Remember when Cap sold motorcycles? Check out Spot’s Cafe across the street. Also next to Spot’s, Scotty Borthwick & John Bow did auto repairs at the Home gas station. And we had banks in Sapperton back then. Here we see the Bank of Commerce and out of view across the street was the Bank of Montreal.

In recognition of Cap’s 85 years in business, Piffle Magazine will be running photos from the past relating to Cap’s Cycle. This series of photos will run each month until the end of year.

Your comments about these photos are invited and can be emailed to Chrissargent@piffle.ca

“They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?” ~ Anonymous

CROSSWORD ACROSS 1.

B.C. of Labour.

New Westminster & District Council.

International of America.

Murdered Labour Leader Goodwin.

DOWN

PIFFLE’S

IWA Brother Brother Wyman .

Canadian Labour .

Former National President of the IWA who grew up in Sapperton. Gerry .

CCF/NDP Leader Tommy .

INTERVIEW I went for a job interview today The interviewer said to me, “What would you say your greatest weakness is?”

HOW FAST CAN YOU GET THROUGH?

I said, “I think I’d have to say my listening skills are my

greatest strength.”

• My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, “No, wait! I can change!”

• My laptop is so dumb. Every time it says “Your

password is incorrect”, I type in: “incorrect” and the silly thing still tells me the same thing.

• I’ve just made a meeting site for retired chemists. It’s called Carbon Dating.

Q: How do you kill bread?

A: Bake it for a little while, and it will be toast.

Q: What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock?

A: “Look grandpa, no hands!” September 2017

| L O C A L LY P U B L I S H E D S I N C E 2 0 0 0

SERVING OUR COMMUNITY

Submitted by George Habib, Business Agent for the New Westminster Local of the Canadian Union of Public Employees

stablished in 1958, the Canadian Union of Public Employees Local 387 represents a diverse team of

approximately 650 Civic Service Workers of the City of New Westminster, the New Westminster Public Library as well as the Civilian Workers if the New Westminster Police Department. Whether you belong to a union or not, you are affected by the actions of a union. As a protector of worker’s rights, unions are responsible for the 8 hour

Watch New Westminster City Council meetings on our new online video streaming platform!

day and the 40 hour work week, worker’s compensation, overtime pay, safety standards and regulations, employer paid health care, wrongful terminations laws, holiday pay, parental leave as well as protecting human rights. A union’s negotiations and standards lead the way for everyone. WE CARE!

CUPE Local 387 is a diverse involved group of skilled collaborative workers. We are dedicated in our efforts to make our community the best it can be and believe out hard work today will set the standard for a quality City tomorrow. With many of our work force local to New Westminster, it is easy to see why we take our jobs to heart and give it our all. CUPE Local 387 strives to be the leader in Labour Movement relations within the Lower Mainland. We proudly provide New Westminster residents with accountable, cost effective and quality public services. By protecting our members from unsafe working conditions and by keeping our work in house, we encourage our members to take pride in their work while learning every intricacy of our increasing growing City. We are a dedicated group of front line and behind the scenes workers striving towards creating a healthy, progressive, and inspiring City we can all be proud of

The new service makes viewing live and past council meetings easy! The platform works on all browsers and mobile devices, and includes enhanced searching capabilities. Access the online streaming service at

newwestcity.ca/council

and enjoy. As you enjoy this year’s Labour Day, we ask that you reflect on the many benefits the Labour Movement has brought to our society.

Please note, Shaw TV will no longer be televising council meetings after August 2017.

For more information email Cupe387@telus.net or call 604-520-5644. “It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.” ~ Socrates Online Streaming Ad_Sept2015.indd 1

8/25/2017 1:49:48 PM

SOME PUNS FOR YOU • When chemists die, technicians barium.

• Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went.

• Then it dawned on me… I am reading a book about anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.

• My teacher’s nickname in school is Flush. • He always has the same suit.

• I fear for the calendar… its days are numbered.

• People don’t like having to bend over to get their drinks… we really need to raise the bar.

• Did you hear about what happened with the elk? It was really amoosing.

• I tried to change my password to “14days”. The computer said it was two week.

• Never play poker with a pieces of paper. They’re bound to fold.

PENCIL: Book, you look so much thinner!

BOOK: I know! I had my appendix removed!

September 2017

| L O C A L LY P U B L I S H E D S I N C E 2 0 0 0

Burnaby Square

Prescriptions

#107-7885 6TH STREET, BURNABY Fast, personalized service Accepting most extended health plans FREE in-store blood pressure monitoring Specializing in Diabetic patient care Blood-glucose monitor supplies FREE blister packaging

PHONE: 604-523-1400

Ask about transferring prescription refills.

FREE 1 HOUR PARKING

“Spring won’t let me stay in this house any longer! I must get out and breathe the air deeply again.” ~ Gustav Mahler

CHEESE FARM A busload of retired Canadians was touring

Switzerland. On the third day, they visited a farm known for its excellent quality goat cheese.

The young farmer’s wife gave them a tour, a cheese

making demonstration, and finally some samples. As

the retirees were tasting the cheeses, she pointed to a pasture full of goats.

She said, “This is a special pasture where we let our

older goats graze happily after they can no longer give milk. In Canada, what do you do with your old goats?”

An old lady piped up, “Honey, they take us on bus tours.”

Columbia-Bowell Funeral Chapel 219 6th St, New Westminster

604.521.4881 3 LOCATIONS TO SERVE YOU

Vancouver | New Westminster | Surrey

www.kearneyfs.com

THE AMAZING GOLF BALL Two friends went out to play golf and were about to

tee off, when one fellow noticed that his partner had but one golf ball.

“Don’t you have at least one other golf ball?”, he

asked. The other guy replied that no, he only needed the one.

“Are you sure?”, the friend persisted. “What happens

if you lose that ball?”

The other guy replied, “This is a very special golf ball.

I won’t lose it so I don’t need another one.”

Well,” the friend asked, “what happens if you miss

your shot and the ball goes in the lake?”

“That’s okay,” he replied, “this special golf ball floats.

I’ll be able to retrieve it.”

“Well what happens if you hit it into the trees and it

SEPTEMBER 30, 7-10PM Join Paddlewheeler Riverboat Tours on an exceptional one night only dinner cruise to celebrate Canada’s 150th birthday! The historic MV Native will set sail at 7pm and take you on a 3 hour evening tour down the mighty Fraser River. Enjoy breathtaking views of the scenery and wildlife as you savour a 3-course meal of Canadian favourites. Dinner will include a candied salmon appetizer, seasoned salmon with homemade mash potatoes and asparagus for the entrée, and the meal will finish with coconut cake or cheesecake. In addition, Chaberton Estate Winery will be in attendance to do a food pairing. Guests are invited to show their Canadian pride and dress in red & white. Tickets are $75 (excluding taxes and service fees) and spaces are limited.

9:30AM-5PM

11:30AM-2PM

3PM-5PM

gets lost among the bushes and shrubs?”

The other guy replied, “That’s okay too. You see, this

special golf ball has a homing beacon. I’ll be able to get it back — no problem.”

Exasperated, the friend asks, “Okay. Let’s say our

game goes late, the sun goes down, and you hit your

ball into a sand trap. What are you going to do then?” FORT LANGLEY HISTORIC CRUISES Sept 4, Oct 7. Available any day, all year ‘round for groups of 30 or more!

DISCOVER THE FRASER LUNCHEON TOUR Wednesdays & Saturdays May to October Available all year round for groups of 25 or more!

ROYAL CITY RIVERBOAT TOUR Wednesdays & Saturdays July to September. Discover The Royal City, from a river point of view!

info@vancouverpaddlewheeler.com www.vancouverpaddlewheeler.com September 2017

“No problem,” says the other guy, “you see, this ball

is florescent. I’ll be able to see it in the dark.”

Finally satisfied that he needs only the one golf ball,

the friend asks, “Hey, where did you get a golf ball like that anyway?”

The other guy replies, “I found it.” | L O C A L LY P U B L I S H E D S I N C E 2 0 0 0

HOROSCOPES by LIZA

MATH MADNESS

17 SEPT 2017

ARIES: Jupiter offers you blessings this month in your house of money. Just be sure what you buy is really what you want. Wasting money is not a good idea. TAURUS: Self discovery plays a major role for you during this time. Self indulgence should be avoided. You express yourself in grandiose way and others are attracted to you. GEMINI: Spiritual and religious values may seem to take center stage. You may see the world through compassionate eyes and want to do something about it. CANCER: Friends and groups play an important role in your life during this time. Whatever you put out at this time will come back in great quantities. LEO: Authority figures see you in a positive light during this time. You can expect promotions and recognition for your hard work.

Try to fi ll in the missing numbers. Use the numbers 1 through 9 to complete the equations. Each number is only used once. Each row is a math equation. Each column is a math equation. Remember that multiplication and division are performed before addition and subtraction.

NUMBER BLOCKS

VIRGO: Travel and higher learning take center stage. People of ethnic races and different cultures play a major role during this time. Think and achieve. LIBRA: Your likely to benefit from other people's resources during this time. Loans will become available. You may seek insight from mystical literature. SCORPIO: Partnerships both professionally and personally benefit you during this time. Now is not a good time to go at it alone. Ask and you shall receive. SAGITTARIUS: Now is a good time to quit those nasty habits. Improvements in your daily life take place. Avoid any kind of over indulgence. CAPRICORN: Self expression takes center stage. Creativity and artistic abilities are also highlighted during this time. Take some time to have fun. AQUARIUS: You may seek peace and security within your home-life. If planning on purchasing a new home all will go well. Family will be of great assistance. PISCES: You want to share your ideas and so you shall. Say what is on your mind, others are ready and willing to listen. Siblings play an important role.

Try to fi ll in the missing numbers. The missing numbers are integers between 0 and 9. The numbers in each row add up to totals to the right. The numbers in each column add up to the totals along the bottom. The diagonal lines also add up the totals to the right.

For Personality Proﬁles/Transit Report/Relationship Compatibility visit

www.lizakolbuck.com

“Today I will live in the moment... unless that moment becomes unpleasant, in which case I’ll take a nap.” ~ Anonymous

Do you have a joke you want to share? Submit them at www.piffle.ca/contact

KID’S CORNER with

ISAIAH

BY ROSS HOOD

PUZ ZLE #38

The principle of this puzzle is to shade, in a logical way, boxes in the grid to discover a picture solution. Numbers on the left show the sets of boxes to be shaded in the corresponding line. Numbers above the grid show the sets of boxes to be shaded in the corresponding column. There is always at least one clear box separating the shaded boxes. TIP: It is just as important to discover which boxes are clear.

HINT: HANG ON TIGHT 2 9

4 10 7

2 2 1

Q: How does a dog stop a video? A: He presses the paws button.

Q: What do you call a fat psychic?

Q: How do you make a goldfish old? A: Take away the g!

Q: What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa?

Q: What has four legs and goes “Oom, Oom”? A: A cow walking backwards!

Q: What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?

Q: What’s a tree’s favorite drink? A: Rootbeer. Q: How do you find a Princess? A: You follow the foot Prince. Q: What did the red light say to the green light? A: Don’t look, I’m changing!

A: A four chin teller.

2 2 3 1

A: Ouch!

A: A Clausterphobic.

8 20

Puzzle 1 (Medium, difficulty rating 0.55)

Q: What did the time traveler do when he was still hungry after dinner?

A: He went back four seconds.

A: Because he felt crummy.

Q: Why did Johnny throw the clock out of the window?

Q: What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes? A: Remorse code.

Q: Why was the baby strawberry crying?

A: Because he wanted to see time fly!

A: Because his mom and dad were in a jam.

SUDOKU! 7 3

7 4

7 2

6 9

Q: Why did the cookie go to the hospital?

Q: Why did the boy sprinkle sugar on his pillow before he went to sleep? A: So he could have sweet dreams.

September 2017

5 5

Generated by http://www.opensky.ca/sudoku on row Wed Nov 30 01:56:19 2016 GMT.Each Enjoy! block must Each column must Each must contain all of the contain all of the contain all of the numbers 1 through 9 numbers 1 through 9 numbers 1 through 9 and no two numbers and no two numbers and no two numbers in the same column in the same row of a in the same block of of a Sudoku puzzle Sudoku puzzle can a Sudoku puzzle can can be the same. be the same. be the same.

| L O C A L LY P U B L I S H E D S I N C E 2 0 0 0

JOKES THAT YOUNGSTERS CAN TAKE BACK TO SCHOOL (PART 2) Q: Which is faster — heat or cold? A: Heat, because you can catch a cold. Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A: A stick.

Q: How did the desk lamp store manager feel when thieves stole all his lightbulbs? A: He was delighted.

Q: What do you call an Italian romance novel model who’s let himself go? A: Flabio.

Q: Why was the math book always worried? A: Because it had so many problems.

Q: What did one nose say when the other nose said “I love you”?

Q: Why did the robber take a shower? A: So it would be a clean getaway.

Q: Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?

Q: Why did the chicken go to jail? A: Because he was using fowl language. Q: What has two legs but can’t walk? A: A pair of pants.

A: “Back achoo!”

A: All they said was, “Bach, Bach, Bach”

Q: What do you get when you cross a canary with a lawnmower? A: Shredded tweet!

Q: Which school supply is king of the classroom? A: A ruler.

Q: Why do the French like eating snails?

Q: Which vegetable should you never invite on a boat trip? A: A leek.

Q: What do you call a cow with a twitch?

A: Because they can’t stand fast food! A: Beef jerky.

At Longevity Compounding Pharmacy, we truly care for our patients. We are dedicated to deliver the highest quality of Pharmaceutical care possible. We are dedicated to serving the special needs of physicians and their patients through custom prescription compounding.

www.longevitypharmacy.ca

604.544.7760 711 Columbia Street New Westminster, BC – V3M 1B2 “If you’re not making mistakes, then you’re not doing anything. I’m positive that a doer makes mistakes.” ~ John Wooden

Made with Russian love

Homemade Meals, Comfort Food, Unique Desserts & Baked Goods.

Royal City Shopping Centre 610 6th Street, New Westminster

Russian Cuisine

778-229-BAKE(2253)

at the Food Court

www.RussianSpoon.com

10% OFF Your Next Purchase

Limit one coupon per customer. Cannot be combined with other oﬀers or promotions.

Ed Goss

Associate Broker MLS Master Medallion

Serving You Since February 1984

604-644-0141 edjgoss@gmail.com www.EdGoss.com WORK ING FOR YOU September 2017

| L O C A L LY P U B L I S H E D S I N C E 2 0 0 0

Pure Integrative Pharmacy combines traditional pharmacy products and services with natural remedies, supplements and holistic medications to provide an integrative approach to your health-care needs. We provide the following services: • Compounding • Natural Health Products • Professional Grade Vitamins and Supplements • Fast Prescription Service • Hormone and Food Sensitivity Testing • Free Blood Pressure Monitoring • Free Delivery Service

• Medication Management Packaging • 15% off Front Store Items on the last Wednesday of the Month • Pet Compounding and Prescriptions • Vaccinations • Ideal Protein Weight loss • Free Medication Reviews

Pure Integrative Pharmacy 101-301 East Columbia Street

At the corner of Keary and East Columbia Street, across from Royal Columbian Hospital Emergency Department

604-553-7145 | www.purepharmacy.com Monday–Friday 9AM–6PM | Saturday 10AM–4PM

“Easter is a time for dressing up, looking your best, and hunting for candy. It’s Halloween in reverse.” ~ Melanie White

ORAL HISTORY at its best

Lunch Specials EVERYDAY (both Chinese and Western di

September 7th 1898, New Westminster was destroyed by fire. From the river to Royal Avenue, from Fourth Street to Tenth Street, the flames Evelyn Sangster Benson consumed everything in its path. Injuries occurred but no Lives were lost.

shes)

441 East Columbia Street New Westminster, BC

604-521-1871

10% OFF for pick-up orders over $20

FREE DELIVERY everyday starting at 4:30pm within a 5km distance and minimum $23 + tax order

OPEN 6 DAYS A WEEK 11:00am – 10:00pm Closed Tuesdays September 2017

In her unique folksy style, Evelyn Benson writes about real events in the lives of ordinary people of New Westminster in days gone by.

Only $19

.95

Both books are available at Black Bond Books and Amazon For more information, visit www.westminsterpublishing.ca | L O C A L LY P U B L I S H E D S I N C E 2 0 0 0

Within days, New Westminster was “Open for business”, including the Litton Hotel and the traditional Saturday Farmers’ Market!

THE GREAT FIRE OF 1898: ONE FAMILY’S STORY

By Evelyn Benson or the Sangster family, the Fire of 1898 hit close to home… literally. Alexander Sangster was foreman at Brackman-Ker Milling on the waterfront where the fire began. By the time the alarms awakened him on that fateful Saturday night, he knew it was already too late to help save his workplace, so he rushed to the Baptist Church on Agnes Street where he served as a Deacon. He and another man managed to save two high-backed chairs, some church records, an oak lectern and the big Bible before flames drove them out of the building. These historic relics are proudly displayed in today’s Olivet Baptist Church at Seventh Street and Queens Avenue which was built to replace the original burned out church. The Agnes Street lot was later sold to the Masonic Order. Meanwhile, at the Sangster home on Seventh Street, my grandmother Elizabeth awakened her seven children and the family began packing — poised to flee up the hill if the flames reached their house. The youngest child, George, was only four, yet on his 100th birthday, he recalled the impressions that were etched into his memory that night, of a steady stream of families struggling past the Sangster house carrying, pushing, pull-

ing and wheeling buggies, barrows or wagons loaded high with cherished household effects they had managed to save from the encroaching flames. After returning to his family from the rescue mission at the church, Grandfather Alexander organized the older boys into a “spark-watch”. Armed with wet blankets, they scrambled around on the roof of the family home and prowled the yard extinguishing the many red hot embers that constantly landed on their property. My father told me that if they had to flee their home, the last thing to be done was to free the chickens from their pen. Every chicken for itself! Next, Alexander joined a group of other neighbourhood men to help Mr. Burr the jailer (actor Raymond Burr’s grandfather) save the Burr house which stood directly in the path of the flames on the lower side of Royal Avenue, two doors from Seventh Street. The men hauled the Burr family mattresses onto the slopes of the mansard roof and piled bedding on the flat part. They formed a bucket-brigade, soaking everything to protect the roof from burning embers. Then they moved their bucket-brigade next door to Saint Paul’s Episcopal Church, but their efforts were in vain and that building succumbed to the flames. The Burr house survived, because just about then, the wind shifted from blow- continued on page 24

“Usually, if I think something is really funny, I’m not gonna test it. I’ll just test it when I’m onstage.” ~ Donald Glover

continued from page 23

ing up the hill from the river, to blowing downhill, and the fire then began to feed on itself. Fortunately for the Sangster family, the fire halted at Royal Avenue only four doors from their home! At morning light, the Sangsters surveyed the damage. Their front yard was piled high with bundles and luggage that people had abandoned out of sheer exhaustion. Eerily, many street lights in the burned-out area continued to work, illuminating blocks of abandoned ruins. Many of the homeless citizens were housed and fed in the Armories. Nine thousand meals were served that week by the ladies of the community, which included Elizabeth Sangster. Clothing, blankets, tents and mattresses were donated or provided from the funds that poured in from cities and businesses across Canada. Tram-loads of “gawkers” came from Vancouver to view the devastation! Tipperary Park became a “tent city”. It was a jumbled stockpile of belongings salvaged at the last minute by families fleeing the fire. One man, realizing that his flock of chickens was doomed by the advancing flames, quickly wrung their necks and stuffed them into a barrel which ended up in Tipperary Park. In the chaos of the days that followed, they completely slipped his mind until citizens complained of the ter- Sketches found among George Sangster’s papers when he died in 1997 at rible stench emanating from somewhere the age of 103. George made the sketches years after the fire, drawing from his memory of the streams of people coming up the hill, fleeing the fire. within the park! The day after the fire, as the smoldering ruins began to cool, it became apparent that many cats by pain and fear. He said they weren’t concerned about and dogs, perhaps trapped in cellars, had somehow surthose things. He admitted that the real danger was if vived the fire but were badly and painfully burned. At their mother found out. She would have been furious least one Good Samaritan took pity on their plight, and with them had she known they had been that close to a spent that Sunday putting the burned animals out of loaded gun! their misery with a revolver. He was aided in this act of mercy by a small army of boys who helped comb the This story is from Evelyn Benson’s award-winning burned-out ruins, spotting the injured pets for him. book, A CENTURY IN A SMALL TOWN — One My father and two of my uncles took part in that adventure, and often recounted the tale. I asked Dad about the dangers they faced while climbing through the smoldering ruins which could have collapsed. Or the possibility of encountering an animal turned vicious September 2017

Family’s Stories. Both Book 1 & Book 2 are available at Black Bond Books and Amazon.com. Watch for more stories in next month’s Piffle. | L O C A L LY P U B L I S H E D S I N C E 2 0 0 0

PURPOSE

SECONDARY INDEPENDENT SCHOOL

ACCEPTING FALL REGISTRATIONS NOW!

• No tuition • Full Dogwood Diploma Program • Your choice of morning, afternoon or full-time program • Music, Visual Arts, Career Development and Adventure Based Learning • Structured classrooms with small group and individualized instruction • Complete 2 courses in a 10 week term • Grades 8 - 12 • Friendly welcoming inclusive atmosphere

Debby

Donaldson

Retired Registered Nurse

Services: • Medications • Companion • Shopping • Appointments (Drs/Surgical) References upon request.

778-773-3999 ddonaldson650@gmail.com 2017

Nevada Vancouver-Laughlin 13 Day Motorcoach Casino Tour

Purpose Secondary Independent School exists to serve those students who, for a variety of reasons, find it difficult in the traditional school system. Students succeed from the fact that we are a small student centered Independent School.

Continuous Intake

604.528.6014 604.526.2522

Single $819.00 - Double $699.00* - Triple $589.00 - Quad $489.00

October 15, 2017

* * * * * * * * * *

2 Nights in La Grand, Oregon 4 Nights in Wendover, Nevada 6 Nights in Laughlin, Nevada 9 Free Buffets 4 Free Coupon Books + $28 Points Laughlin Fun Book 1 Grand Canyon Side Tour 1 Free Las Vegas Day Side Tour Oatman & Lake Havasu, Arizona Bullhead City, Arizona * Discounts Available

Let’s Go!

www.purposesecondary.org 40 Begbie Street, New Westminster, BC V3M 3L9

Toll Free 1.855.764.8500

www.tourhero.ca

“But what… is it good for?” ~ Engineer at Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on microchip

ONE LINERS • Our friend Eddie has kleptomania, but when it gets bad, Eddie takes something for it. • I stayed up all night playing Texas Hold’em with a deck of tarot cards. I got a royal flush and five people died. • I spilled ‘Spot’ remover on my dog. Now he’s disappeared. • Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. “His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.” ~ Mae West Deja Moo: The feeling that You’ve heard this bull before. A FEW MORE TO GROAN ABOUT A jump-start cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, ‘I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything. “Doc, I can’t stop singing ‘The Green, Green Grass of Home’”. “That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.” “Is it common?” “Well, It’s Not Unusual.”

• The invisible man marries the invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either. • I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a mussel. • I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Ermentrude, “I was artificially inseminated this morning.” “I don’t believe you,” says Ermentrude. “It’s true, no bull!” exclaims Daisy. A HAPPY LIFE Gloria, out for a walk, notices this little old man rocking in a chair on his porch and approaches him. “I can’t help noticing how happy you look,” Gloria smiles at him, “What is your secret for a long happy life?” “I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day,” he replied, “I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise.” “That’s amazing!” Gloria responds, “How old are you?” “26.” he replied.

Ages

6mo–12yrs Golden Sunshine Daycare provides a positive and safe environment where each child can grow and develop in our care. We respect each child’s need for love, security, and acceptance. Golden Sunshine Daycare is a licensed group child care in New Westminster, we are very proud of supporting our local families & community. We offer various activities for all our kids.

✔ ❏ ✔ ❏ ✔ ❏ ✔ ❏ ✔ ❏

Caring, Respectful, Experienced and Qualified Staff Certified Early Childhood Education (ECE) Certified Early Childhood Development (ECD) Certified ECD – Infant Toddler Trained in Standard or Emergency First Aid

Golden Sunshine Daycare will open our new location Royal City Centre at 610 6th Street, New Westminster. We are now Accepting Early Registration. Please contact 778-223-6676. September 2017

| L O C A L LY P U B L I S H E D S I N C E 2 0 0 0

FIRE DOGS Ricky, Tony, and Leroy were out riding their bikes in downtown when a fire engine zoomed past with blaring sirens. The three boys spotted an Alsatian dog on the front seat of the fire engine. Ricky commented, “They use that dog to control sightseers.” “No,” said Tony, “he’s just for good luck.” But Leroy knew better, “No, that’s not it,” he said. “The dog is there to point the firemen to the nearest fire hydrant!” Q & A Q: How does Moses like his tea? A: Hebrews it. Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A: Because the chicken didn’t exist. Q: What’s a ghost’s favorite fruit? A: Boo-berries. Q: Why did the man take his clock to the vet? A: Because it had ticks JUNGLE TALK Three animals were having a huge argument over who was the best. The first, a hawk, claimed that because of his ability to fly, he could attack anything repeatedly from above, and his prey had nary a chance. The second, a lion, based his claim on his strength. None in the forest dared to challenge him. The third, a skunk, insisted he needed neither flight nor strength to frighten off any creature. As the trio debated the issue, an alligator came along and swallowed them all… hawk, lion and stinker.

Neale Bacon and his Crazy Critters Canada’s Favourite Family Ventriloquist

(604) 364-7294

baconandfriends@shaw.ca

www.baconandfriends.com

BACK TO SCHOOL SAFETY With September around the corner, summer is soon coming to a close and back-to-school season will be in full-swing. That means, now is the perfect time to think about pedestrian safety. Pedestrian accidents are considered the fifth highest cause of injury-related fatalities for children between the ages of 5 to 19. This is a serious concern, particularly as your and grandchildren and kids return to school. By following these simple steps, your kids will reduce the likelihood they are involved in any traffic incidents as they go to and from school. MAKING YOUR KIDS GOOD PEDESTRIANS Before your kids head to school, teach them to look left, right and then left again prior to crossing the street. By continually checking their environment while walking, they’ll be much safer on the road. Devices or headphones should also be put away at this time to prevent any distractions. Furthermore, instruct your kids to walk on sidewalks or paths, crossing on street corners with the use of traffic signals and crosswalks. PEDESTRIAN AWARENESS While taking your kids to school, it’s critical to be alert to the children who are walking around you. For one, don’t block the crosswalk when you’re stopped at a light. This may seem minor, but if your vehicle is within that designated area, kids may have to go beyond the crosswalk’s perimeters and into moving traffic. Lastly, whenever you’re in the vicinity of playgrounds, parks or residential areas, drive with greater caution to keep young pedestrians safe.

New Westminster Fire & Rescue Services Fire Prevention Office, 1 East 6th Avenue, New Westminster, BC V3L 4G6

www.newwestcity.ca

“I like drama. I love being in a drama where I get to be the funny guy. That’s what I really love the most.” ~ John Leguizamo

Open 7 days a week!

Q: How does NASA organize their company parties? A: They planet. Q: What’s the most beautiful thing in advanced physics? A: A passing grade.

Enjoy 15% off

your meal on Mondays & Tuesdays after 3pm.* 636 Sixth Street, New Westminster www.wafflehouserestaurant.com

604-524-8118 *Exclusions apply.

Q: Why don’t you ever see hippopotamus hiding in trees? A: Because they’re really good at it. Q: What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? A: Tooth-hurtie. Q: Why can’t a bike stand on its own? A: It’s two tired. Q: What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A: A thesaurus. Q: What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? A: Sneakers. Q: What’s a balloon’s favorite genre of music? A: Pop. Q: What’s the most beautiful thing in mathematics? A: A cute angle. Q: What do you call a dwarf psychic who just escaped from prison? A: A small medium at large. Q: What happens when you get some vinegar in your ear? A: You suffer from pickled hearing! Q: Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? A: Fo’ drizzle. Q: Why did the girl quit her job at the donut factory? A: She was fed up with the hole business. Q: What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before they got married? A: Feyoncé. Q: What do you call a chicken crossed with a cow? A: Cock-a-doodle-moo! Q: What is the longest word in the English language? A: SMILES because there is a mile between the first and last letters!

September 2017

| L O C A L LY P U B L I S H E D S I N C E 2 0 0 0

PONDER THESE… • I used to think the brain was the most important organ. Then I thought, look what’s telling me that.

• A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200.

Subscription Form

• You kill vegetarian vampires with a steak to the heart.

Name Address

• There was a prison break and I saw a short prisoner climb up the fence. As he jumped down her sneered at me and I thought, well that’s a little condescending.

City Province Phone Email

• If you want to catch a squirrel just climb a tree and act like a nut.

Postal

❑ 1 Year ($50 + $2.50 TAX)* ❑ New ❑ Renewal ❑ Send me the FREE digital version too!

• A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store.

• Did you hear about the new corduroy pillows? They’re making headlines everywhere!

Subscription Start M M / Y Y Y Y Make payments to “Sargent’s Publishing”

• Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like banana.

Piffle Subscription Manager 4th Floor, 604 Columbia St New Westminster, BC V3M 1A5

Generated by http://www.opensky.ca/sudoku on Wed Nov 30 01:56:19 2016 GMT. Enjoy!

• Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and asks “How do you drive this thing?” • I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

*Subscription rate has increased due to Canada Post’s announced increase in stamp prices.

• Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

• Just went to an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers. • I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it’s more of a wrap.

The Canadian Pacific Railway Station is of architectural significance as a fine example of the CPR’s signature Chateau style. This style was consistently employed for the company’s stations and hotels and was characterized by steeply pitched roofs, tall chimneys and picturesque silhouette. The location of this building, adjacent to the British Columbia Electric Railway station and the working waterfront of the Fraser River, demonstrates the historic role of New Westminster as a regional transportation nexus. A new business will be opening there soon. What is it?

• I have to find a new personal trainer. He didn’t do squat(s).

• I started a band called 999 Megabytes — we haven’t gotten a gig yet.

• Pampered cows produce spoiled milk.

Each column must contain all of the numbers 1 through 9 and no two numbers in the same column of a Sudoku puzzle can be the same.

Each row must contain all of the numbers 1 through 9 and no two numbers in the same row of a Sudoku puzzle can be the same.

Each block must contain all of the numbers 1 through 9 and no two numbers in the same block of a Sudoku puzzle can be the same.

20 1 3

NUMBER BLOCKS

MATH MADNESS

7 4

5 2 7 9 4 6 8 1 3

8 5 2 7 6 3 4 9 1

7 4 3 2 9 1 5 8 6

6 9 1 4 5 8 7 3 2

4 1 5 3 7 2 9 6 8

2 3 6 5 8 9 1 4 7

2 2

4 1 2 2

7 1

3 1

2 1

1 1

4 10 7 2

HINT: HANG ON TIGHT

1 4 5

1 2

8 2

7 3

8 2

HOW FAST CAN YOU GET THROUGH?

PUZ ZLE #38

Puzzle 1 (Medium, difficulty rating 0.55)

SUDOKU!

PIFFLE’S

PIFFLE PUZZLE SOLUTIONS “Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.” ~ George Burns

POET’S CORNER with

JANET KVAMMEN

VICE-PRESIDENT, ROYAL CITY LITERARY ARTS SOCIETY

On a Summer’s Night at the New Westminster Quay © Lavana La Brey Bench sitting at the New West Quay lot On a Summer’s eve feeling so hot Streams of perspiration down my cheeks As the cool breeze soothingly speaks Watching the cheerful strolling people Where everyone is treated as an equal Excited panting dogs of all breeds on leashes Friends generously offering watermelon pieces While the watery juices run down their faces Making sure every bite is not wasted And as I look across the dark green Fraser River The lights on the other side shimmer like silver In the distance, the lone whistle of an oncoming train High in the sky, lights flicker of a slow descending plane Witnessing and enjoying all the goings on at the Quay Of young and old holding hands, just as it should be A heartfelt scene of everyone’s playful, joyful ways Such a splendid night my thoughts sing with praise Not wanting to leave as the moon breaks night Filled with meditative relief of glowing light To a place where creative imagination is free On a Summer’s night at the New Westminster Quay

Lavana La Brey is an owner and operator of Renaissance Bookstore with her husband and business partner John Preston. They host a variety of events and invite the community to come in whether it be to book signings, storytelling, etc. They support a variety of local authors and poets and sell their new books. Being surrounded by inspiration, Lavana engages her creative senses through the arts, music and poetry. www.renaissancebookstore.com.

Welcoming New Westminster Poets! Please submit your “New West” poems by emailing Janet at janetkvammen@rclas.com Visit www.rclas.com for all the latest events. September 2017

| L O C A L LY P U B L I S H E D S I N C E 2 0 0 0

Signs & Printing

604-517-1230 oktirenw@shaw.ca

WE HAVE MOVED! WE ARE NOW AT 641 LOUGHEED HWY

631 SIXTH STREET, NEW WESTMINSTER

THURSDAYS

• MEAT BINGO AT 6PM • KARAOKE AT 8PM

MEAT DRAWS

every Friday & Saturday 5PM, 6PM & 6:45PM

LIVE MUSIC FRIDAY & SATURDAYS

VIDEO DJ NIGHT

SEPTEMBER 22 & 23 WITH JAMES BURTON STARTING AT 6:30PM

Royal Canadian Legion No. 2 | 604-522-4522

MEMBERS & GUESTS WELCOME!

“Money doesn’t make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million.” ~ Arnold Schwarzenegger

STRATA LIVING WHO PAYS THE DAMAGES?

By Tony Gioventu, Executive Director, Condominium Home Owners' Association of BC

ear Tony: Our strata corporation has a bylaw that requires buyers and potential tenants to be screened by the strata council before the purchase or enter into a tenancy agreement. The bylaw also requires the buyer/tenant must undergo a criminal record check. A new buyer has moved in and the council have sent him notice of pending fines of $200 a week until he agrees to undergo a criminal record check. We cannot believe in this day and age that a strata council has the authority to screen occupants? ~ LJR Vancouver Dear LJR: The Strata Property Act explicitly prohibits a strata corporation from screening tenants or imposing restrictive conditions on the sale of strata lots. “The strata corporation must not screen tenants, establish screening criteria, require the approval of tenants, require the insertion of terms in tenancy agreements or otherwise restrict the rental of a strata lot except as provided in the Act, and, a bylaw is not enforceable to the extent that it prohibits or restricts the right of an owner of a strata lot to freely sell, lease, mortgage or otherwise dispose of the strata lot or an interest in the strata lot.” Essentially your strata corporation has an unenforceable bylaw. I would not begin to imagine what a strata council would do with any of the information they obtained or how they would even consider what types of offences would merit denial of accommodation. Encourage your strata council to seek legal advice as soon as possible to repeal this bylaw before you are facing a costly lawsuit for the frustration of a sale of a strata lot, a Human Rights complaint for discrimination or a

Civil Resolution Tribunal complaint challenging the enforceability of the bylaw. Everyone wants to ensure we have great neighbours, but imposing unenforceable bylaws that violate the rights of occupants is not a solution. Landlord BC provides excellent guides for landlords to screen and qualify tenants. When it comes to buyers, unfortunately no one knows until they have moved in as even sellers rarely ever meet buyers. If your strata has a bylaw that is unenforceable, being enforced unfairly or failing to be enforced, owners and tenants may commence a claim through the Civil Resolution Tribunal of BC. Go to www.civilresolutionbc.ca to start your claim. This publication contains general information only and is not intended as legal advice. Use of this publication is at your own risk. CHOA, the author and related entities will not be liable to you or any other person for any loss or damage arising from, connected with or relating to the use of this publication or any information contained herein by you or any other person. The contents of this publication may not be reproduced, blogged, or distributed in any fashion without the explicit prior consent of the writer. Direct office phone: 604-515-9683 Office email: tony@choa.bc.ca Mobile: 604-323-6458

Condominium Home Owners Association of BC

George Garrett, Vice-President

Formed to fill an urgent need for cancer patients to have free transportation to and from treatment facilities. To learn more, phone 604-515-5400 or visit www.volunteercancerdrivers.ca September 2017

| L O C A L LY P U B L I S H E D S I N C E 2 0 0 0

“You’re only here for a short visit. Don’t hurry, don’t worry. And be sure to smell the flowers along the way.” ~ Walter Hagen

Community AUTO SALES

Roger

Serving the Burnaby & New Westminster community for 25 years. Trades Welcome.

Rent to Own!

Jason

2005 Mazda Tribute V6, AWD, auto

2003 Mazda Tribute V6, AWD, auto

$5995

$4995

2010 Honda Insight Hybrid, auto, nice!!

2008 Honda Civic 4dr, auto, only 137kms!

$6995

$7995

2001 Honda Odyssey 7 pass, loaded, 175kms

2007 Hyundai Sonata V6, auto, luxury sedan

$3995

$4995

2003 Ford Focus 4dr, auto, $500 down

$2995

2006 Suzuki Grand Vitari V6, auto, 4x4

$6995

7777 Kingsway, Burnaby | PH 604-777-9737 September 2017

| L O C A L LY P U B L I S H E D S I N C E 2 0 0 0

We create great SMILES and Piffle gives you a reason to smile!

Welcome to Sapperton Dental in New Westminster Our patient-centered practice offers comprehensive dental care with an equal commitment to preventive, restorative, and cosmetic dentistry. At our clinic, our patients are our top priority. We value personalized attention and long-term relationships with our clients. Dr. Sandeep Sachdeva and Dr. Sarika Sachdeva perform a full range of dental services, from simple fillings and teeth whitening to full smile makeovers all performed in a warm care caring environment.

To Book your next appointment please contact Serena or Shelley

604-544-0894 #105-301 E. Columbia St, New Westminster Right across the street from Royal Columbian Hosptial

www.sappertondental.com “The beautiful spring came; and when Nature resumes her loveliness, the human soul is apt to revive also.” ~ Harriet Ann Jacobs

RENAISSANCE

BUSINESS DIRECTORY

BOOKS 604.525.4566

712B 12th St

New Westminster renbooks@telus.net renaissancebookstore.com

/issue

Contact Chris today!

604-525-9027 chrissargent@piffle.ca

SERVING THE LOWER MAINLAND SINCE 2006!

The City of New Westminster has implemented new regulations regarding the removal of underground oil tanks that could significantly slow down the sale of your property. Contact Speedy Solutions to find out how we can help you move it along. For a free scan and new info call Randy

778-893-1806 oiltankremovalmanager@shaw.ca

www.aspeedysolution.com

THIS IS YOUR I N V I TAT I O N !

Sunday School & ESL Bible Study 9:00am Sunday Service 10:00am

New Westminster Join Us Sundays: 4:00 pm

726 12th Street (Near 8th Avenue)

604.299.9538 info@lhohcf.ca lhohcf.ca We are a multi-cultural community church where everyone is welcome— AND WE REALLY MEAN IT!

930 Cumberland St New Westminster

604-521-0120

www.mtzionlutheran.ca

MOON CONSTRUCTION

Additions • Renovations New Construction

Quinn Waddington, CFA

Investment Advisor, Portfolio Manager FPSC Level 1® Certificant in Financial Planning Canaccord Genuity Wealth Management T: 604.699.0874 E: quinn.waddington@canaccord.com www.waddingtonwealth.ca

Specializing In

• Concrete • Forming • Framing • Siding

604-218-3064

All your carpentry & handyman needs

First Free Methodist Church Wondering who Jesus is? Have questions? Committed Christian? You’re welcome here! Join us for Worship & Fellowship Sunday mornings at 10:30am 320 Eighth St, New Westminster Check us out at www.ffmcc.ca or on Facebook September 2017

SERVING YOUR COMMUNITY 325 6th Street New Westminster, BC Tel: 604-521-0363 Service at 11am See you at church!

“Good clean cars, reasonably priced!”

301-12th St, New West

604-377-5889

Affordable mobile, telephone and video counseling. Our counselors can help you with: · Depression · Anxiety · Addictions and more…

604-798-4075

Learn how to create through the power of intention:

www.cyfnlp.com/blog

• Honest & Reliable • Careful & Efficient • Fully Equip 3 or 5 Ton Truck • Reasonable Rates

604.562.4637 laramoving.ca

| L O C A L LY P U B L I S H E D S I N C E 2 0 0 0

Expecting a New Arrival

elcoming a new baby into the family can be one of life’s more rewarding experiences. Proper financial planning can ensure that this positive experience continues as the new family grows. It is never too early to start thinking about the impact that a child will have on a family’s finances.

As with any aspect of financial planning, new parents need to understand their sources of income and current debt position. If a parent intends on taking parental leave, this may affect cash flow. Higher household expenses will need to be considered, including groceries, household items, and clothing. Proper budgeting can help to achieve a balance between available funds and reasonable expenses. In addition to these expenses, other financial considerations should be addressed: Childcare If staying at home with a child is not an option, parents may look to alternatives that range from daycare to in-home services, on a part-time or full-time basis. Some parents are surprised when they compare the cost of professional child care against the loss in annual net income if one parent decides to leave work and stay at home. Don’t forget: The Canadian government also offers support, including the Canada child benefit. Effective July 1, 2016, the universal child care benefit (UCCB) was replaced by the Canada child benefit. The Canada child benefit (CCB) is a tax-free monthly payment made to eligible families to help them with the cost of raising children under 18 years of age. Other government support may be available for lower-income families or children with disabilities. Education Savings We have always stressed the importance of investing in a Registered Education Savings Plan (RESP) to plan for a child’s post-secondary education. Not only are there tax savings associated with starting this plan, but the government also offers certain grants to supplement contributions. All parents should start thinking about setting up a plan before too long. In order to start an RESP, parents will need to apply for a social insurance number (SIN) for the child.

w . w

Individual Insurance The arrival of a child may increase the costs for a family. It is important to consider disability insurance for a reduction in income if a parent were to become unable to work for a period of time. There could be costs to replace a caregiver if the primary caregiver were to become injured. If the arrival of a baby leads to a family buying a different residence or vehicle, there could be more debt than in the past. It is recommended to have insurance to cover these new debts if the parent were to become disabled or die. The addition of a new baby is a good time to have an insurance needs analysis completed. Group Benefits Plans If a parent has a group benefits plan offered through their employer, it will be timely to add the baby to the plan for medical, dental and other possible coverage. Some plans offer optional life insurance that may now be more relevant than before baby’s arrival. Many group benefits plans include access to Employee and Family Assistance Programs which could offer resources during such a time of change. Retirement Savings With the additional expenses associated with a new baby, parents often feel that they should defer contributing to their retirement savings plans. However, we often advise against this as the planning of future financial security through to retirement is important. Under these circumstances, we may suggest that retirement savings contributions be adjusted, but not overlooked. Other Important Considerations This is an excellent time to review and update beneficiaries or execute/update a will. Parents may also wish to appoint a legal guardian for the child and should consider discussing these issues with a legal professional. This may also be an appropriate time to explore the opportunities associated with establishing a trust for the family. Enjoying the Journey Ahead The transition into parenthood may be challenging but the journey ahead will undoubtedly be exciting. With some forethought to financial planning, parents can enjoy the experience knowing that they have prepared their family financially for the future.

Obtain a TD Canada Trust Mortgage Pre-approval and Shop with Confidence Pre-approvals are one of the easiest ways to start off the home buying process on the right foot1. There are many benefits of getting a pre-approval for your mortgage! Helps you establish a limit when looking for your dream home before you start house hunting, so you know what price range to target! Many homebuyers aim too high, bidding on a home outside of their budget. Later they learn the home is beyond their means due to other financial factors. Having a pre-approval eliminates the stress of not knowing what you can afford and what your payments will be. Receive a committed interest rate for 120 days!1 In todayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s rising interest rate environment, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s smart to protect yourself from rising rates down the road. TD Canada Trust will commit to the interest rate for 120 days from the date of the pre-approval. Eliminate the guesswork!

When obtaining a pre-approval your TD Mobile Mortgage Specialist will discuss the full range of mortgage options available to you, and help to eliminate any assumptions you may have about mortgages and buying a home, especially if youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re a first time homebuyer. May allow the approval of your new mortgage to occur more smoothly! The pre-approval process involves reviewing your existing payment obligations and assets, verification of your employment and reviewing your credit history. These are some of the steps as applying for an actual mortgage, so completing them upfront may save you time later.

Call me for a pre-approval or consultation: Jahan Siddiqui Manager, Mobile Mortgage Specialist Tel: 604 727 7599 Fax: 604 909 1977 E: jahangir.siddiqui@td.com mms.tdcanadatrust.com/jahangir.siddiqui/ 1

Some conditions apply.

We take clean concrete for free. 12680 Mitchel Road, Richmond

604-323-2126

ANOTHER PROJECT BY

Building dreams into reality.

nash_dhillon@hotmail.com