Piffle Magazine 2017-12 by Sargent's Piffle

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CITY SCENE MAGAZINE

December 2017 Issue #207

Majors Saul and Jessica Doria have been transferred to the New Westminster Corp of the Salvation Army to meet the challenge of providing social and spiritual services to our community. See story page 8.

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“Let’s Get Ahead Together”

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Celebrating

theHolidays Saturday, December 9 2:00pm–4:00pm Fraser River Middle School — Gymnasium 800 Queens Ave (at 8th Street) Light refreshments and activities for the family! For more information: 604-775-5707 604-775-2101 | Judy.darcy.mla@leg.bc.ca 604-775-5707 | Peter.julian.c1@parl.gc.ca

P T D E I J Z A E E D T S V P N T O H K P S Y A X

B H L S O V K P K A R H R N S P J R O U W X Q V C

W G A J U U F A E A E E E D K B T N L A Q U U R Q

U I Z K X V L R T M I D G C O C G A I U Q D M C N

December 2017

K O N I W F B Z P N X B I X A M O M D B V W G Z H

Q F W T W R K I D U L P I R M D F E A W G M X Z U

K W Z O E H F E J T E N U D H J P N Y Y O H T P G

R W N G V R E E H G G T E U P G Z T S Z U F S P R

F S N B L R S V G D D L P A M E I S D X B C M W W

X I L Z T S Y O A V P N A D B F S E Z Y V I N E G

G C B W F T W Y L O F Z P D O F U K L Z H I B H M

S A M T S I R H C S N P F B T U A L A S K S H R K

S V W H L M T N U A T P U B W A L K Z T S X K J V

H X R E B B S P W W O I I N N K C X X G I T Z T B

T A T T V K O K X S Y N C S Y N A W Y D W N F U L

J N K H G V R I R M E O O E U F T H N R T J G I P

V E M K A A F V P B K O Z R N C N D X B Y B A T G

F W A D U K K I S P C V H O T V A I Q N Q C S O Y

P I Z Q S N C Y Q K O H D G N H S T N Z V H O H U

Z Z N Q Y Q A M H Y H J Y D C V P E W C Y W R A E

Q Q B D X N J H P A M H E M C V W O X T D W X S B

H O T C H O C O L A T E U O U T Z Y L Q Y B I A C

W V Q W I N D C H I L L M J P F R W X E T U W E A

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WORD SEARCH BOXINGDAY

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WINTERSOLSTICE

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MLA’S REPORT

By Judy Darcy he Christmas spirit is showing up in the air and on the streets! It started with craft sales popping up around the city, then strings of colourful lights appearing on front lawns. Finally, the man in red and white made his annual appearance at the Santa Claus Parade. It was great fun handing out candy cane reindeer to all of you who attended. This year I’m hosting my annual Holiday Celebration with MP Peter Julian! We’ve scheduled it for December 9th from 2:00 p.m. – 4:00 p.m. at the Fraser River Middle School! There will be light refreshments available as well as crafts for children (and children at heart). I hope to see you there!

Gluten Free Shortbread Cookie Recipe

INGREDIENTS: • 1 cup butter, softened • ¾ cups icing sugar • ½ tsp vanilla • ¼ tsp salt • 2 cups Cloud 9 Gluten-Free All-Purpose Baking Mix DIRECTIONS: 1. Beat together butter, sugar, vanilla and salt until light and fluffy. Mix in Cloud 9 Gluten-Free All-Purpose Baking Mix until just combined. 2. Divide dough in half and refrigerate for 45 minutes. 3. Preheat oven to 300 degrees F (150 degrees C). 4. Roll one half of dough to 10mm thickness. Use your favourite cookie cutters to cut out desired shapes. Cook in over until golden brown, about 20 minutes. Repeat with remaining dough.

If you aren’t signed up yet, send an email to Judy.Darcy.MLA@leg.bc.ca to sign up and make sure you don’t miss out on the next newsletter!

At Longevity Compounding Pharmacy, we truly care for our patients. We are dedicated to deliver the highest quality of Pharmaceutical care possible. We are dedicated to serving the special needs of physicians and their patients through custom prescription compounding.

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604.544.7760 711 Columbia Street New Westminster, BC – V3M 1B2 When someone asks you, “A penny for your thoughts,” and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?

Sargent’s Word Search �� 2 Locally Published Since 2000 Fourth floor, 604 Columbia St New Westminster, BC V3M 1A5

Chris Sargent 604-525-9027

Owner & Publisher chrissargent@piffle.ca

Verne Siebert 604-763-6304

Sales Representative vernesiebert@piffle.ca Graphic Design: Cliff Blank Email: production@piffle.ca

www.piﬄe.ca

MLA’s Report by Judy Darcy �� 3 Imperial Pharmacy Community Page �� 7

Christmas 1902 by Evelyn Benson �� 23 Sargent’s Sudoku! �� 24 Sargent’s Crossword �� 24

New officers for New Westminster Salvation Army �� 8

Pictograph by Ross Hood �� 24

Cap’s Cycling Back in Time �� 11

Piffle Quiz �� 29

Sargent’s City Scene �� 10

New Westminster Fire and Rescue Services �� 26

Sargent’s Number Blocks �� 12

Puzzle Solutions �� 29

Sargent’s Math Madness �� 12

Kid’s Corner with Isaiah �� 16 Horoscopes by Liza �� 17

A-Maze-In �� 18 In Memory of Leslie William Sargent �� 20

Poet’s Corner with Janet Kvammen �� 30 Piffle Quiz Answer �� 31

Strata Living by Tony Gioventu �� 32 2017 Seniors Festival Thank You 34

Piffle Business Directory �� 36

Christmas On The Fraser

pread your holiday cheer and join tours for our Christmas Dinner Cruises. Delicious seasonal meal consists of carved turkey, creamy mashed potatoes, smooth gravy and all the fixings! All meals are freshly prepared on-board by our talented Chef. Drinks are available for purchase from full service bar. Great for staff parties or family gatherings. Call us or check online for dates available and pricing information. Join us on our annual Christmas Carol River Cruise and invite your friends and family for an entertaining evening. Enjoy our covered patio while taking in the festive Fraser River scenery, or relax in our comfortable passenger lounge. Listen to traditional Christmas carol songs, and join in with the singing to the festive music! Delicious food and drinks available for purchase. Spots will fill up fast so call now to pick your date!

Call 604-525-4465

www.vancouverpaddlewheeler.com December 2017

Columbia-Bowell Funeral Chapel 219 6th St, New Westminster

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December 2017

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IMPERIAL PHARMACY 2017 SANTA PARADE

December 2, 11:00 a.m., Columbia St, Downtown New Westminster

TINYPRENEURS CHILDREN’S MARKET SERIES Saturday, December 9, 12:00 p.m.–3:00 p.m. River Market, 810 Quayside Dr The ideal event to find “The Perfect Holiday Gift”. Young children dreaming to become successful entrepreneurs, will be showcasing their business ideas and selling their products at this children’s market, also featuring presentations on entrepreneurship and financial literacy basics for the entire family, entertainment options, door prizes and more. Admission to this Fun Learning Experience is free, but the space is limited, so make sure you get in. The event will also be fundraising towards BC Children Hospital Foundation, so come and help us to help the kids. For more details, please check their website www.tinypreneurs.com.

QUEEN’S PARK HERITAGE CONSERVATION AREA ZONING INCENTIVES OPEN HOUSE 3RD ANNUAL UN INTERNATIONAL DAY OF PERSONS WITH DISABILITIES FILM FESTIVAL

December 3, 7:00 p.m.–10:00 p.m., Anvil Centre Theatre, 777 Columbia St The 3rd annual UN International Day of Persons with Disabilities Film Festival explores the representation of disability in film. This year we’ve partnered with the National Film Board to present a 2-hour program of short films and conversation from the early public broadcast films of the 1960s to now including the world premiere of Inclusion BC Foundation’s own film Disability Pride 2017!

December 9, 11:30 a.m.–2:00 p.m. City Hall Foyer, 511 Royal Ave, New Westminster Council adopted the Heritage Conservation Area in June and endorsed a two year work plan for ongoing implementation in October. The next step in the work plan is to explore zoning incentives for protected properties. You are invited to attend an open house to learn more about the incentives being considered.

MUSICA INTIMA PRESENTS NATIVITÉ Tuesday December 19, 7:30 p.m.—10:30 p.m. Knox Presbyterian Church, 403 E Columbia St, Sapperton

MOODY PARK RESIDENTS’ ASSOCIATION MEETING December 5, 7:00 p.m., Century House Spruce Room

CELEBRATE THE HOLIDAYS WITH MLA JUDY DARCY AND MP PETER JULIAN

December 9, 2:00 p.m.–4:00 p.m., Fraser River Middle School Gymnasium — 800 Queens Ave, New Westminster Join New Westminster MLA Judy Darcy and New WestminsterBurnaby MP Peter Julian for a holiday celebration! Light refreshments will be served and there will be familyfriendly activities! This is an accessible event.

A Christmas concert featuring the music from musica intima’s 2002 award-nominated CD, Nativité. This CD has time honoured favourites of the musica intima Christmas canon, and this will be the CD’s 15th anniversary, as well as musica intima’s 25th anniversary. $15–$30.

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MON TO FRI 9AM-6PM | SAT 9AM-2:30PM | SUN 9AM-1:30PM 981 Carnarvon Street, New Westminster | 604-523-6767 Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.

The Doria family (left to right) Jessica, Natalie, Saul, Elida, and Joshua (front).

NEW OFFICERS FOR NEW WESTMINSTER SALVATION ARMY

ummers are busy for The Salvation Army with Music camps, sports camps, day camps, and Vacation Bible School. Back to school supplies drives are among the daily activities as well as various family services provided by the Army. Summers are also a time of transition as it was for The Salvation Army unit in New Westminster. Majors Saul and Jessica Doria, who were stationed in the United States, received their marching orders were appointed to New Westminster. They arrived at their new post along with their three children last July. Former officers Auxiliary Captains Carlos and Eva Galvez have been transferred to the Salvation Army Corp in White Rock. The Dorias have been officers/pastors with The Salvation Army since 2001 after completing two years at the college for officer training in the United States. “It was a wonderful surprise to receive marching orders to Canada. All of our assignments have been in the U.S. We are truly honoured to receive this opportunity December 2017

and thrilled to find out what God has in store for New Westminster.” Jessica said. Jessica met The Salvation Army when she was a teenager through a church invitation from a friend. “I didn’t know the army was a church” she recalls, “I thought it was only a thrift store. But as I learned the many aspects of it, I felt called to service for God through The Salvation Army. It’s holistic approach, helping people physically and spiritually, really spoke to my heart.” Saul was born into a Salvationist family. “People are always stunned when I tell them that I grew up with over 200 brothers and sisters. They think I am kidding; but I’m not!” Saul’s parents were Salvation Army officers in Mexico. During their officership, among other appointments, they were in charge of two children’s homes. One is in Acapulco with about 120 children and another in Guadalajara with about 95 children. Saul considers them his brothers and sisters. “We ate together, went to school together, and did chores and homework together and celebrated birthdays and holidays together. But at the end of the day, I was able to go home with my parents for the night. Something the kids at the children’s home were not able to do.” There were many lessons learned for Saul through his parents’ work and ministry. “I was able to see how lives are changed when volunteers, donors and The Salvation Army work together. That will always stay with me. My parents were dedicated to the service of others and were true to the calling God had placed in their hearts.” The Dorias share a passion for service and ministry. In fact, soon after they arrived to BC, Saul was deployed along with a volunteer team, to serve those affected by the fires. “It was amazing to see the community come together to help during the recent fires. We are very thankful to the many people who gave of their time, talent, and treasure and to those who continue to bring hope today.” Saul said. The Dorias’ goal is to continue to offer programs that will bring hope and restore dignity to those who are in need. The Army relies heavily on the generosity of volunteers and donors to keep these programs running. Their biggest yearly fundraiser campaign, the Christmas Kettle campaign, is held during the months of November and December. | L O C A L LY P U B L I S H E D S I N C E 2 0 0 0

You may hear the ‘ring-a-ling’ of a bell in front of a store and will know that there is a Salvation Army kettle there. Donating to the kettle helps The Salvation Army continue to provide much needed services, like food hampers, toys, clothing, summer camps, shelter, and spiritual care among others. So, when you see a kettle, know that your donation provides direct assistance to someone in need in your community. For more information on volunteer opportunities or to donate, please contact your local Salvation Army at 604-521-0363 or email nw-kettlescampaign@shaw.com. If you are looking for worship opportunities, you are invited Sunday mornings at 11:00 a.m. There are men’s and women’s fellowship groups, and several Bible study groups as well, including a 12 step Bible study group that meets Wednesdays at 7:00 p.m. For more information on worship opportunities call 604-521-0363. The Officers added, “On behalf of The Salvation Army in New Westminster, we wish you a Merry Christmas and thank you for helping bring hope today.”

Former New Westmintser officers Auxiliary Captains Carlos and Eva Galvez have been transferred to the Salvation Army Corp in White Rock.

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SARGENT’S CITY SCENE ACTIVE LIVING IS GETTING EASIER! new way to register for recreation programs is coming February 2018! Enjoy simple program and member registration, facility booking, family account management, activity history and more at your fingertips any time of the day. Live by your schedule, not ours! As part of the transition to our new registration and booking system, our current online system will no longer be available to the public starting December 1st. Call or visit any Parks & Recreation facility to register for programs after December 1, 2017.

SYSTEM HIGHLIGHTS: • A new user-friendly online system to register for programs on any device at any time of day • A family account feature to keep track of your whole family’s activities and schedules in one place • Track your activity history and more at your fingertips in your personalized account • Robust search functions that will allow you to search for an activity by keyword, age, day, time or location

December 2017

• View the availability of a class and immediately book online • Track payments and print receipts and tax information when you need it In person and phone registration will still be available.

WINTER HARP PERFORMS WITH VANCOUVER WELSH MENʼS CHOIR

inter Harp brings its magic to Massey Theatre Sunday, Dec. 3 with the Vancouver Welsh Menʼs Choir. This acclaimed 80-voice choir joins with harps, flutes, fiddle, percussion and rare medieval instruments for an enchanting afternoon of Christmas music. Donʼt miss this — the cityʼs most popular Christmas concert. Tickets at 604-521-5050 or www.ticketsnw.ca. Winter Harp performs soul-stirring carols with one of Canadaʼs largest male choirs which has performed across Canada and Europe to great acclaim. In celebration of its 24th year, Winter Harp is releasing a new CD, Winterʼs Eve, and is featuring special guest Amy Stephen founder of the popular Celtic band Mad Pudding. “The combination of harps and flutes with this massive choir is spectacular,” says Winter Harp director Lori Pappajohn. “Itʼs a highlight of our season to perform with them. And itʼs a concert not to be missed.” Winter Harp performs with the Vancouver Welsh Men’s Choir Sunday, December 3, 2:30 p.m. at Massey Theatre. See Winter Harp on its own December 13 and 14 at Capilano University, December 16 at St. Andrew’s-Wesley United Church in Vancouver and December 17 at the ACT in Maple Ridge. Details at www.winterharp.com. For information on the Welsh Choir’s other concerts visit www.vwmc.ca. (continued on page 12)

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Cap and his group won 2nd place parade prize in the comedy category. In recognition of Cap’s 85 years in business, Piffle Magazine will be running photos from the past relating to Cap’s Cycle. This series of photos will run each month until the end of year.

Your comments about these photos are invited and can be emailed to Chrissargent@piffle.ca

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

(continued from page 10)

ANVIL CENTRE WILL BE LIT UP IN ORANGE IN SUPPORT OF UNITE AND GRAN’S GOALS OF ENDING VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN rom November 25th to December 10th, the City of New Westminster’s Anvil Centre will be lit up in orange to show support of the Orange the World campaign, initiated by United Nation’s UNiTE to End Violence against Women and the Grandmothers Advocacy Network (GRAN). The campaign’s theme is “Leave No One Behind: Ending Violence against Women and Girls” and uses the colour orange as a uniting theme to symbolize a brighter future free from violence. UNiTE invites organizations around the world to light up their buildings in orange in symbolic support of the campaign with GRAN drawing

attention to the challenges older women in Africa face as a marginalized group. By lighting up Anvil Centre for these days, the City stands in support of the Orange Day campaign’s goals of raising awareness and ending violence against women and girls around the world. NEW WESTMINSTER POLICE OFFICERS ASSOCIATION HELPS OUT VOLUNTEER CANCER DRIVER SOCIETY l Foquette, President of New Westminster Police Officers A sso ciat ion h a s a nnounced that his organisation will donate $300 to the Volunteer Cancer Driver Society. The role of the Society is to provide transportation for cancer patients to their appointments.

NUMBER BLOCKS

Try to fi ll in the missing numbers. The missing numbers are integers between 0 and 9. The numbers in each row add up to totals to the right. The numbers in each column add up to the totals along the bottom. The diagonal lines also add up the totals to the right.

December 2017

Former CKNW intrepid reporter George Garrett is Vice-President of the Society. “Our volunteer drivers and dispatcher Orrie Babiuk serve several cancer patients from New Westminster every week. We drive them to the Fraser Valley Cancer Centre at Surrey Memorial Hospital. Our drivers wait while patients are being treated, then drive them home. Patients are grateful and drivers feel a great sense of fulfillment and satisfaction”, said Garrett. ”The donation was pleasant news. What makes it extra special is that we didn’t even ask for it”, Garrett added. Garrett indicated that they are in need of more volunteer drivers from New Westminster. For more information, check their website www.volunteercancerdrivers.ca or phone 604-515-5400.

MATH MADNESS

Try to fi ll in the missing numbers. Use the numbers 1 through 9 to complete the equations. Each number is only used once. Each row is a math equation. Each column is a math equation. Remember that multiplication and division are performed before addition and subtraction. | L O C A L LY P U B L I S H E D S I N C E 2 0 0 0

Q: Why was the snowman looking through the carrots? A: He was picking his nose.

Q: What goes “oh, oh, oh”? A: Santa walking backwards

Q: What did Adam say the day before Christmas? A: “It’s Christmas Eve.”

Q: What do frogs wear on their feet? A: Open toad sandles.

Q: What did Cinderella say when her photos didn’t arrive on time? A: One day my prints will come. Q: What do snowmen have for breakfast? A: Snowflakes. Q: Why are Christmas trees very bad at knitting? A: Because they always drop their needles Q: Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas party? A: He had no body to go with. Q: What happened to the man who stole an advent calendar? A: He got 25 days. Q: How did Mary and Joseph know that Jesus was 7lb 6oz when he was born? A: They had a weigh in a manger.

A THEATRE

SURPRISE BREAKFAST This guy goes into a restaurant for a Christmas breakfast while in his home town for the holidays. After looking over the menu he says, “I’ll just have the eggs benedict.” His order comes a while later and it’s served on a big shiny hubcap. He asks the waiter, “What’s with the hubcap?” The waiter sings, “There’s no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.” NORTH KOREA I asked a guy from North Korea how things were. He told me, “I can’t complain!” PESSIMIST I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative.

LIKE NO OTHER

Anvil Centre’s modern theatre offers maximum flexibility, in a vibrant, dynamic space. AN UNFORGETTABLE NEW PERFORMANCE VENUE The Theatre is built for maximum flexibility to support the full range of contemporary performances. With advanced audio, lighting, and projection inventories, the Theatre easily converts to meet your stage design requirements.

For rental inquiries please contact Kate Stadel: T 604-636-4617 E kstadel@anvilcentre.ca 777 Columbia Street New Westminster, BC

anvilcentre.com Somebody who knows how will always have a job. Working for someone who knows why.

SHORES OF MAUI Vacation Condo Rental Terry & Loretta Embling terryloretta@hotmail.com Cel: 604-418-8782

Inquire Online:

www.shoresofmaui.net

Ken McIntosh Rod Drown Researchers

604.619.8455 New book on the MacLaughlan Murders due soon. #360-729 6th St, New Westminster, BC V3L 3C5

DOUGH BOY DIES Veteran Pillsbury spokesman Pop N. Fresh died Wednesday of a severe yeast infection. He was 71. He was buried Friday in one of the biggest funerals in years. Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, and the Hostess Twinkies. The graveside was piled high with flours, as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who “never knew he was kneaded”. Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a smart cookie, and wasted much of his dough on halfbaked schemes. Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model to millions. Fresh is survived by his second wife. They had two children, and one in the oven. The funeral was at 3:50 for 20 minutes. KILLED BY A PIG If you’re killed by a wild pig, does that mean you were boared to death? GRIZZLY Q: What do you call a grizzly bear with no teeth? A: A gummy bear. WEIRD It’s always I before E. Isn’t that weird? NAKED Q: Why can’t you get cell phone service when you’re naked? A: No shirt, no shoes, no service.

COUNTRY, BLUEGRASS AND SOUTHERN GOSPEL MUSIC SERVED…

with your host

RAY SARGENT

www.sundaysideup.org December 2017

ray.sargent@shaw.ca | L O C A L LY P U B L I S H E D S I N C E 2 0 0 0

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FREE 1 HOUR PARKING LegalShield on the go!

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The LegalShield app puts your law firm in the palm of your hand. If you have legal questions, use the app to call your law firm directly. You can even send information to your law firm with features like Prepare Your Will and Snap (for speeding tickets). The LegalShield app makes it easy to access legal guidance you can trust. Download the ree app from the App Store or Google Play.

For More Information, Contact Your Independent Associate

Sue Warner www.suewarner.ca

suewarner.bc@gmail.com

604.454.7949

Under my gruff exterior lies an even gruffer interior.

KID’S CORNER with

ISAIAH

Do you have a joke you want to share? Submit them at

www.piffle.ca/ contact

Q: Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?

Q: What do you call a donkey with three legs?

A: Santa Jaws.

A: A wonky.

Q: What do you get if you cross a bell with a skunk?

Q: What did the grape say when someone stood on it?

A: Jingle Smells! Q: Why did the turkey cross the road? A: Because he wasn’t chicken. Q: What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school? A: The elfabet. Q: Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?

A: Nothing. It just let out a little wine. Q: What do you call a Zebra with no stripes? A: A horse. Q: Why do Giraffes have long necks? A: Because their feet smell. Q: Why should you never you play cards in the jungle?

A: A mince spy!

A: Because there are too many cheeters!

Q: What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?

Q: What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?

A: A Christmas quacker!

A: Time to get a new fence.

December 2017

WHO GETS THOSE It’s Christmas morning and as the little boy comes down the stairway, he sees his Dad in his nightshirt arranging presents under the tree. “Hi Dad! Who’s getting the bagpipes?” GORILLA AT THE ZOO One day, a man from the Czech Republic came to visit his friend in New York. When asked what he wanted to see, the visitor replied, “I would like to see one of the zoos in America.” To his delight, the New Yorker took him to the Bronx Zoo. They were touring the zoo, and standing in front of the gorilla cage, when one of the gorillas busted out of the cage and swallowed the Czech whole. Shocked, his friend from New York quickly called over the zoo keeper. He quickly explained the situation and the zoo keeper immediately took steps to save the man’s friend. The zoo keeper got an axe and asked the man, “OK, which gorilla did it? Was it the male or the female?” The New Yorker pointed out the female as the culprit. Quickly, the zoo keeper split the female gorilla open and found nothing of the Czech. He looked at the man from New York, who shrugged and said, “Guess the Czech is in the male.” WORRIED ABOUT DREAMS A guy goes to a psychiatrist. “Doc, I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I’m a teepee, then I’m a wigwam, then I’m a teepee, then I’m a wigwam. It’s driving me crazy. What’s wrong with me?” The doctor replies, “It’s very simple. You’re two tents.” 40? A farmer wants to know how many sheep he has in his field, so he asks his border collie to count them. The dog runs into the field, counts them and runs back to the farmer. The farmer says, “How many?” The dog says, “40.” The farmer is surprised and says, “How can there be 40 — I only bought 38!” The dog says, “I rounded them up.” A GOOD SHAVE A fellow got up one morning and decided he no longer was going to shave himself, he was instead going to the barber for his morning shave. | L O C A L LY P U B L I S H E D S I N C E 2 0 0 0

The town barber also happened to be the local pastor in town. When the guy walked into the barber shop the barber/pastor was not there, he was out on a pastoral call but his wife Grace was in the shop. The man said to Grace, “I want a shave.” Grace told him to climb up in the chair and she gave him a shave. When Grace was finished he asked her how much for the shave and Grace said, “Twenty dollars.” “Twenty dollars, that seems a little steep,” the guy replied. Grace said: “That’s my charge.” So the guy gave her $20 bill and went on his way. The next morning when he got up he went to the mirror and looked and his face was as smooth as when he was shaved the day before. He checked the following the day, same thing, a week went by, two weeks and his face stayed as smooth as a baby’s face. Finally after the third week he stopped back in the barber shop and Grace happened to be there. The guy said to her: “Grace, I can’t believe I still don’t need another shave. You did some kind of magnificent job.” And Grace replied, “Well, you have been shaved by Grace and once shaved always shaved!” ON THE THRONE There was once an island kingdom whose people were all fabulously wealthy. Even though they could have afforded to live anywhere they wanted, tradition dictated they stay on their tiny island home. Eventually, their king became frustrated and called a meeting of the tribe’s elders. He said he wanted them to figure out a way he could enjoy his wealth, and stay within traditional guidelines. After much consideration, the elders suggested he build a magnificent throne. When he objected there was not enough room in his hut for a throne, the elders suggested he call in an engineer to solve the problem. Soon, the king’s tiny hut was rigged with an elaborate system of ropes and pulleys. He could lower the huge throne for use during the day, and at night, he could haul the throne up, and lower his bed. This was truly the best of both worlds for the king. Unfortunately, after a few months of constant use the ropes frayed, and one night, the throne slipped and came crashing down on the king, killing him. The wise men of the island recognized a lesson in this experience and added to the lore of their people this statement: “People who live in grass houses should not stow thrones.”

HOROSCOPES by LIZA

17 DEC 2017

ARIES: Job changes may be on the horizon. Focus on your creative side to explore new opportunities. Favorable aspects in that area. TAURUS: Dealing with other people’s values will bring new insights. Thinking of traveling over the holidays? Plan ahead to avoid confusion. GEMINI: Any love relationship started during this time will have intensifying eﬀects. Think deep and hard before setting the stage for love. CANCER: Business and marital relationships go smoothly during this time. Expressing your aﬀections comes easily in December. LEO: Authority figures and co-workers see you in a good light. This is a good time to start that health regime you have been thinking about. VIRGO: Friends and social gatherings are the name of the game this month. Much entertaining taking place. Love is on the rise. LIBRA: If thinking of doing those home renovations now is a good time. You want to make your home a more cozy place to be. Insight comes through your dreams. SCORPIO: All communications take on a more intense feeling. Friends and neighbors lend a helping hand. You realize just how much love you have in your life. SAGITTARIUS: Expect to hear from people from your past. Why return to the past when it never worked out in the first place. Know better things are just around the corner. CAPRICORN: Your looking good this month dear Capricorn and others are attracted to your good nature. Just be sure not to let others take advantage. Love is in the stars. AQUARIUS: Dreams and insights are the theme for this month. Write down some of those dreams as they may come to fruition in the near future. PISCES: Social activities will surely keep you busy this month. Set your sights on future wants and needs and plan accordingly.

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Everybody repeat after me: “We are all individuals.”

TREE BEER Q: What is a tree’s favourite drink? A” Root beer. HORSE HELP Q: What did the horse say when he fell? A: “Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!” NO HE ISN’T I know what people are thinking as soon as I tell them that I’m psychic. PRESERVES If we ever figure out how to preserve people, we’ll really be in a jam. THE WHEEL Man’s greatest invention until he got behind it. RETENTION My friend is dieting. He says weight gain is due to water retention. My weight gain is due to ice cream retention.

PIFFLE’S

HOW FAST CAN YOU GET THROUGH?

December 2017

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We currently have space in our Day Program — based out of our clubhouse in New Westminster, our Day program includes Skill Development, Community Building, and Job Readiness. Learn skills that translate into everyday life and get collaborative support in finding employment. This includes handson experience in our newly acquired Samba’s Convenience Store. We also provide respite, community inclusion, outreach support and other services. Please visit www.pandoraservicesbc.com or

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20 In Memory of

Leslie William Sargent August 14, 1944 – October 25, 2017

It is with great sadness that we announce the sudden passing of our brother Les. All will miss him. Les is survived by his two sisters, Darlene (Mike); Gloria (Dimitri), and 5 nieces and nephews, as well as 5 great-nieces and nephews and by his very good friend Paul Abercrombie and many friends. Les was born into a Salvation Army family and spent his life in their service. A Funeral Service was held at the New Westminster Corp of the Salvation on Thursday, November 9th, 2017. Burial was at the Fraser Cemetery in Sapperton.

PURPOSE

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Purpose Secondary Independent School exists to serve those students who, for a variety of reasons, find it difficult in the traditional school system. Students succeed from the fact that we are a small student centered Independent School.

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www.purposesecondary.org 40 Begbie Street, New Westminster, BC V3M 3L9 December 2017

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BOOK TITLES YOU WILL NOT SEE 1. The Yellow River by I.P. Daily 2. The Numbers Game by Cal Q. Later 3. Under the Bleachers by Seymour Butts 4. Rusty Bed Springs by I.P. Freeley 5. Twenty Yards to the Outhouse by Willie Makit, illustrated by Betty Wont and published by Andy Dint 6. Spots on the Wall by Hugh Flung Poo 7. Falling Off a Cliff by Eileen Dover 8. The Complete Proctologist’s Handbook by Ben Dover PICKUP LINES • Hey, I’m going for a walk. Would you hold this for me? (then hold out your hand). • Do you have a map? Because I’d like to find my way into your heart. DING DONG BELL “Doctor, I think I’m a bell.” The doctor says, “Take these pills, if they don’t work, give me a ring.” HOW DO THEY DO THAT? How do they get the “Keep off the grass” sign on the grass? V A Roman walks into a bar, sticks two fingers up to the barman and says, “Five beers please.”

Debby

Donaldson

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Services: • Medications • Companion • Shopping • Appointments (Drs/Surgical) References upon request.

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23 CHRISTMAS 1902

By Evelyn Benson y dad’s youngest brother, George, was also a fountain of information about our city’s earlier days. He was an amazing man, with a sharp mind and keen eyesight right up to his death in 1997 at the age of 103. I once asked Uncle George about Christmas in New Westminster when he was a boy, and he told me a little story I’d like to share. He sat me down and started. “I was about eight years old and our family didn’t have much money to spend on Christmas. I wanted Santa Claus to bring me a box of building blocks. Instead, I got something that probably did me more good in the long run — a drawing slate. Maybe that’s why I became an art teacher rather than an architect. “Howard Schaake was my best friend. His family was better off than ours because his father owned Schaake Machine Works on Front Street. So Howard had asked Santa Clause for a pony and cart. He was confident his wish would be granted. On Christmas morning his parents told him his gift was out in the barn. He raced out to the barn and there, in the middle of the barn on the floor was a toy horse and cart, about a foot long. He cried all day. No one could stop him crying, not even me. I always thought it was a cruel joke. “Our family went to Olivet Baptist Church three times on Christmas Day. We always had a turkey or a goose. There was more grease with a goose. Mother saved the goose grease, then mixed it with strong dry mustard, painted it on a large piece of brown paper to plaster on our chests whenever we had a cold. “Mother gave me fifty cents to spend on Christmas presents. I bought something for the other eight people in our family and my two best chums Howard Schaake and Toby Jackson*. I gave all of them a two-for-a-penny pencil from the stationery store. I got Dad a mustache cup for fifteen cents. “But I bought my mother the most expensive gift of all. I’d heard Mother say she’d like a new set of dishes. I told Mr. Moy the storekeeper this, and he showed me a beautiful set of miniature dishes. You know — dolly dishes. But I was a serious little boy and I thought they were perfect. I’m sure Mr. Moy gave me a bargain, for I only had thirty cents left to spend. “I can see Mother yet — sitting in her rocker by the window that Christmas morning in 1902 with my gift on

her lap, rocking back and forth. First she laughed and then she cried. Then she laughed and then she cried. “Many years later, after she died and we were looking through her keepsakes, she still had that set of little dishes, carefully wrapped and protected in the very bottom of her cedar hope chest. When I saw them, it brought back a flood of memories. I sat down and held them on my lap, and I laughed and laughed. And then I cried”.

This story is from Evelyn Benson’s awardwinning book, A CENTURY IN A SMALL TOWN — One Family’s Stories. Both Book 1 & Book 2 are available at Black Bond Books and Amazon.com. Watch for more stories in next month’s Piffle.

Seen it all, done it all, can’t remember most of it.

24 Puzzle 1 (Medium, difficulty rating 0.57)

SUDOKU!

4 2

3 2

9 1

7 3

BY ROSS HOOD

The principle of this puzzle is to shade, in a logical way, boxes in the grid to discover a picture solution. Numbers on the left show the sets of boxes to be shaded in the corresponding line. Numbers above the grid show the sets of boxes to be shaded in the corresponding column. There is always at least one clear box separating the shaded boxes. TIP: It is just as important to discover which boxes are clear.

HINT: NO TRUMP

2 6

3 4

6 15

PUZ Z L E #41

11 9

4 9 1

Generated by http://www.opensky.ca/sudoku on row Wed Nov 30 01:56:27 2016 GMT.Each Enjoy! block must Each column must Each must contain all of the contain all of the contain all of the numbers 1 through 9 numbers 1 through 9 numbers 1 through 9 and no two numbers and no two numbers and no two numbers in the same column in the same row of a in the same block of of a Sudoku puzzle Sudoku puzzle can a Sudoku puzzle can can be the same. be the same. be the same.

3 1

1 4

CROSSWORD ACROSS 6. Normally we walk all over these. But during the holidays, they’re stuffed with treats! 8. is the holiest month of the year. 9. This holiday originated in the United Kingdom and is responsible for long lines! (2 words) 11. Santa’s 7th reindeer. 12. Red and white and minty. (2 words) 14. This celebration honours African heritage. 15. The surname of the MP for New Westminster-Burnaby Constituency.

DOWN 1. The three Wise Men brought this. 2. A Christmas song. (2 words) 3. You might leave these for Santa. 4. He has two eyes made out of coal. (3 words) 5. Catch me if you can! (2 words) 7. A is a four-sided spinning top, played with during the Jewish holiday of Hanukkah. 10. is the MLA for New Westminster. (first name) 13. What you put on Christmas trees. December 2017

| L O C A L LY P U B L I S H E D S I N C E 2 0 0 0

The Salvation Army New Westminster & Tri-Cities 325 6th Street New Westminster, BC V3L 3A9 Phone: 604-521-5043 Fax: 604-521-8819

Volunteer as a Kettle Host The Christmas Kettle Campaign runs

November 18 to December 24, 2016

Salvation Army is looking for responsible individuals to assist with this Christmas fundraising activity in New Westminster, Port Moody, Coquitlam and Port Coquitlam Volunteer as a family Volunteer with a friend Volunteer as a staff team Volunteer as a community group Give 2-4 hours a day/week, or several shifts throughout the campaign

Sing carols, ring the bells, spread Christmas cheer and help us to give hope today.

For further information contact: Eva @ 604-830-0157 For further information contact Jennifer Lee/ 604-521-5043 Email: nw-kettlescampaign@shaw.com

Phone: 604-521-0363

WINTER HOLIDAYS

Winter holidays are a time for families and friends to get together. But that also means a greater risk for fire. Following a few simple tips will ensure a happy and firesafe holiday season. HOLIDAY DECORATING • Be careful with holiday decorations. Choose decorations that are flame resistant or flame retardant. • Keep lit candles away from decorations and other things that can burn. • Some lights are only for indoor or outdoor use, but not both. • Replace any string of lights with worn or broken cords or loose bulb connections. Read manufacturer’s instructions for number of light strands to connect. • Use clips, not nails, to hang lights so the cords do not get damaged. HOLIDAY ENTERTAINING • Test your smoke alarms and tell guests about your home fire escape plan. • Keep children and pets away from lit candles. • Keep matches and lighters up high in a locked cabinet. • Stay in the kitchen when cooking on the stovetop. • Ask smokers to smoke outside. Remind smokers to keep their smoking materials with them so young children do not touch them. • Provide large, deep ashtrays for smokers. Wet cigarette butts with water before discarding. WINTER HOLIDAY FIRES BY THE NUMBERS • Electrical distribution or lighting equipment was involved in two out of every five (40%) home Christmas tree fires. • More than one-third (37%) of home Christmas tree fires started in the living room, family room, or den. • The top three days for home candle fires were Christmas, New Year’s Day and New Year’s Eve.

New Westminster Fire & Rescue Services Fire Prevention Office, 1 East 6th Avenue, New Westminster, BC V3L 4G6

www.newwestcity.ca

December 2017

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I WAS PONDERING #1 1. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack? 2. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? 3. Why do women wear evening gowns to go out at night? Shouldn’t they be wearing night gowns? 4. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? 5. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It’s just stale bread. 6. When cheese gets it’s picture taken, what does it say? 7. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist? 8. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites? 9. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things? 10. If horrific is akin to horrible, why isn’t terrific akin to terrible? 11. Why isn’t 11 pronounced onety one? 12. Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as “4’s”? 13. Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure? 14. Why do you park in a driveway and drive in a parkway? 15. Why are there locks on the door of stores that are open 24/7 365 days a year? 16. Why are there braille dots on a drive-through ATM keypad? 17. Why does a ship carry cargo, and a car carry shipments? 18. Why do doctors call what they do practice? Shouldn’t they be good at it by now? 19. Why does cleave mean both to adhere and separate? 20. If you got in a cab and the driver drove backwards would he end up owing you money? PLOP When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

A new online Parks & Recreation system is coming February 2018! To get ready, our current online system will no longer be available to the public starting December 1st. Stay tuned for more details about our new registration and booking system and what it means for you. newwestcity.ca/activeliving.

Active living is getting easier!

WILLIE NELSON Willie Nelson got hit by a car yesterday. He was playing “On the Road Again”. Is reading in the bathroom considered multi-tasking? CNW-PiffleAd-3.375x9.5-1117-R1E.indd 1

2017-11-24 11:03 AM

MY SON

Guy Quesnel 604-524-2922 771 6th Street New Westminster, BC Email guyd.quesnel@shaw.ca

A UNION BARBER SHOP

Tues to Thurs 8:30 a.m.–5:00 p.m. Friday 7:30 a.m.–5:00 p.m. Saturday 8:00 a.m.–4:00 p.m. Closed Sunday and Monday

One time when my son was 3 years old, I took him shopping. When we got home, he had a candy bar in his pocket. I didn’t buy it, and he certainly didn’t buy it, so we marched back to the mall - and we went to the jewelry store. HIGH NECK A giraffe walks into a bar. “Sorry”, said the barman, “We don’t serve Heineken here.” TWO DOGS Two dogs are walking down the street, one says, “Wait a minute” and then crosses the road. He sniffs around a fire hydrant and returns. The other dog says, “What was that all about?” The first dog replies, “Just checking my messages!” THE CONTEST There was a man who entered a local newspaper’s pun contest.

He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

MONKEY PEE A guy walks into a bar with a piano entertainer, sits down and orders a beer. The piano player’s monkey soon jumps on the bar and urinates in the guy’s beer. The guy yells to the piano player, “Hey, do you know your monkey just peed in my beer?”

The piano player says, “No, but if you hum a few bars, I might remember it!” SOLE MUSIC Can you play sole music with a shoe horn? MATH Math illiteracy affects 7 out of every 5 people. GOOD QUESTION If money doesn’t grow on trees, why do banks have branches? MAGIC IN THE MARRIAGE My wife said to bring the magic back in our relationship. So I disappeared! December 2017

| L O C A L LY P U B L I S H E D S I N C E 2 0 0 0

My wild oats have turned to shredded wheat!

PIFFLE PUZZLE SOLUTIONS NUMBER BLOCKS

MATH MADNESS

SUDOKU!

PIFFLE’S

Puzzle 1 (Medium, difficulty rating 0.57)

9 7 1 8 3 2 5 6 4

Each column must contain all of the numbers 1 through 9 and no two numbers in the same column of a Sudoku puzzle can be the same.

4 2 9 6 7 3 8 1 5

7 5 8 9 1 4 2 3 6

3 1 6 5 2 8 7 4 9

Each row must contain all of the numbers 1 through 9 and no two numbers in the same row of a Sudoku puzzle can be the same.

1 9 4 2 8 6 3 5 7

2 8 3 4 5 7 6 9 1

5 6 7

BY ROSS HOOD

HOW FAST CAN YOU GET THROUGH?

3 9

PUZ Z L E #41

HINT: NO TRUMP

11 9

1 5

1 1

2 7

1 5

3 6 15

8 2

Each block must contain all of the numbers 1 through 9 and no two numbers in the same block of a Sudoku puzzle can be the same.

1 2

1 1

The constipated composer couldn’t finish his last movement.

The Salvation Army was founded in London’s East End in 1865 by one-time Methodist Reform Church minister and his wife. Who were they?

THE COMPOSER If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: “take two aspirin” and “keep away from children.” KEEP AWAY In football, why does the running back run forward? GOOD QUESTION He wanted to transcend dental medication.

*Subscription rate has increased due to Canada Post’s announced increase in stamp prices.

Did you hear about the Buddhist monk who refused Novocain during a root canal?

Piffle Subscription Manager 4th Floor, 604 Columbia St New Westminster, BC V3M 1A5

THE MONK

Generated by http://www.opensky.ca/sudoku on Wed Nov 30 01:56:27 2016 GMT. Enjoy!

Make payments to “Sargent’s Publishing”

Two parrots sat on a perch. One said to the other, “Do you smell fish?”

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TWO PARROTS It’s always darkest before dawn. If you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.

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DARKEST BEFORE DAWN The optometrist who got caught in the lens grinder made a spectacle of himself.

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THE DAILY GRIND God created man. Then God said, “I can do better”. Then he created woman.

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I CAN DO BETTER Can you find buckteeth at the dollar store? BUCK STORE

POET’S CORNER with

JANET KVAMMEN

VICE-PRESIDENT, ROYAL CITY LITERARY ARTS SOCIETY

In the arms of red hammocks friends and lovers sway their feet touching sky on the edge of the Fraser. Tugboats announce gifts of logs weathered by wind a history still unfolds even in absences. Hints of ghosts and grace cry sounds in between the movement of a river’s knowing where the land remembers. Scores of lives speak on the edge of Westminster Quay where regeneration asks to pay attention. Listen. What would the voices of years rolled over, breathed through sighs say to the vowels of the present in this turning of a season? Winter is unwrapped for loving and living what bares our skin to moist air a crisp tale of becoming while seals, crows and four-legged’s pass.

Celeste Snowber, PhD is an interdisciplinary artist and Associate Professor in the Faculty of Education at SFU. Her books include Embodied Inquiry, Wild Tourist, and co-author of Blue Waiting, a collection of poetry. She is also the Artist in Residence in the UBC Botanical Garden creating poetry and dance performance. Photo by Carolyn Sullivan

Welcoming New Westminster Poets! Please submit your “New West” poems by emailing Janet at janetkvammen@rclas.com Visit www.rclas.com for all the latest events. December 2017

BACKUP NEEDED Late one night a man is driving down the road, speeding quite a bit. A cop notices how fast he is going and pulls him over. The cop says to the man, “Are you aware of how fast you were going?” The man replies, “Yes I am. I’m trying to escape a robbery I got involved in.” The cop gives him a skeptical look and says, “Were you the one being robbed?” The man casually replies, “No, I committed the robbery.” The cop looks shocked that the man admitted this. “So you’re telling me you were speeding… AND committed a robbery?” “Yes,” the man calmly says. “I have the loot in the back.” The cop begins to get angry. “Sir, I’m afraid you have to come with me.” The cop reaches in the window to subdue the man. “Don’t do that!” the man yells fearfully. “I’m scared you will find the gun in my glove compartment!” The cop pulls his hand out. “Wait here,” he says. The cop calls for backup. Soon cops, cars, and helicopters are flooding the area. The man is cuffed quickly and taken towards a car. However, before he gets in, a cop walks up to him and says, while gesturing to the cop that pulled him over, “Sir, this officer informed us that you had committed a robbery, had stolen loot in the trunk of your car, and had a loaded gun in your glove compartment. However, we found none of these things in your car.” The man replies, “Yeah, and I bet that liar said I was speeding too!” PAY THE MAN If you don’t pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed? RUMP ROAST Did you hear about the butcher who backed into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work. ON THE ROAD If you were under house arrest, but lived in a mobile home — you could still go wherever you wanted. IT’S PERSONAL They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient. But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it much more personal and sincere. | L O C A L LY P U B L I S H E D S I N C E 2 0 0 0

Signs & Printing

604-517-1230 oktirenw@shaw.ca

WE HAVE MOVED! WE ARE NOW AT 641 LOUGHEED HWY William Booth and his wife Catherine

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DECEMBER 15 & 16 6:30PM TO 10:30PM

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MEMBERS & GUESTS WELCOME! We have enough youth: how about a fountain of “smart”.

STRATA LIVING

WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR OUTSIDE MAINTENANCE COSTS?

By Tony Gioventu, Executive Director, Condominium Home Owners' Association of BC

ear Tony: Who is responsible for insurance claims to the outside of the building when there are alterations that have been permitted over the years? Our strata has permitted owners to install sunrooms and balcony enclosures. In the past year with heavy snow and wind storms there are three incidents where the attachments were seriously damaged along with the building and resulted in claims on the strata insurance. The strata is now attempting to force 6 of the owners to pay for the insurance deductible because they have alterations to their units. They have even attempted to charge an owner with an alteration who did not have any damages but experienced a broken window. ~ Shelly M. Langley Dear Shelly: The responsibility for costs associated with alterations is determined through the existence of an alteration agreement, if the owner has taken responsibility for costs of maintenance, repairs and insurance costs associated with the alteration. Your strata corporation has never required owners to enter into an agreement for the alteration of unit exteriors. In addition, many of the units that have been altered have subsequently been sold with no knowledge of the alterations being identified to the subsequent buyers. The strata corporation has an obligation to insure the original common assets and fixtures that were installed by the owner developer. Your insurance appraisal should have identified the original assets and the strata corporation needs to identify the alterations to the building exteriors on a building inventory to de-

George Garrett, Vice-President

termine how these areas will be maintained, insured, and the costs relating to the alterations. Many strata corporations have incorrectly assumed owners are automatically responsible for alterations, regardless of how the alterations were approved, and whether an alteration agreement was ever ratified. Unfortunately, if your strata has not been enforcing its bylaws, ratifying alteration agreements and disclosing alterations on Form B Information Certificates, your strata is likely in an situation where it has little or no enforcement for alterations. Before your strata is drawn into complicated disputes it would be timely to seek legal advice on how to administer the alterations and liabilities. This publication contains general information only and is not intended as legal advice. Use of this publication is at your own risk. CHOA, the author and related entities will not be liable to you or any other person for any loss or damage arising from, connected with or relating to the use of this publication or any information contained herein by you or any other person. The contents of this publication may not be reproduced, blogged, or distributed in any fashion without the explicit prior consent of the writer. Direct office phone: 604-515-9683 Office email: tony@choa.bc.ca Mobile: 604-323-6458

Condominium Home Owners Association of BC

VOLUNTEER DRIVERS URGENTLY NEEDED FOR NEW WESTMINSTER! Formed to fill an urgent need for cancer patients to have free transportation to and from treatment facilities. To learn more, phone 604-515-5400 or visit www.volunteercancerdrivers.ca

December 2017

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We create great SMILES and Piffle gives you a reason to smile!

Welcome to Sapperton Dental in New Westminster Our patient-centered practice offers comprehensive dental care with an equal commitment to preventive, restorative, and cosmetic dentistry. At our clinic, our patients are our top priority. We value personalized attention and long-term relationships with our clients. Dr. Sandeep Sachdeva and Dr. Sarika Sachdeva perform a full range of dental services, from simple fillings and teeth whitening to full smile makeovers all performed in a warm care caring environment.

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Thank you... FESTIVAL SPONSORS City Of New Westminster New Westminster Record Thornebridge Gardens Seniors Services Society Century House Association Piffle Magazine Arts Council of New Westminster Queen’s Park Healthcare Foundation

PRIZE DONORS Aqua Pure Esthetics Avon Package Alaska Package & Book Cartwright Jewelers Century House Association G&F Financial Group Gino’s Restaurant Greens & Beans Deli Head to Toes Spa & Salon Hub Barber Shop Inn at the Quay New Westminster Parks & Recreation December 2017

for making the City of New Westminster’s 2017 Seniors Festival: Set No Limits such a success!

Pharmasave Root Source Inc. Royal Canadian Legion Sunquest Mobility The Cobbler New West Shoe Repair Waffle House New Westminster West End Medical Centre

SENIORS FESTIVAL 2017 COMMITTEE Lois Brassart, Committee Chair Betty McIntosh Syl Helmink Helen Bodner Julia Schoennagel Elizabeth Philip Cal Donelly Kelly Friesen Jason Lesage Ramona Manzer Shelly Schnee Robyn McGuinness

WE COULDN’T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT YOU! | L O C A L LY P U B L I S H E D S I N C E 2 0 0 0

THE DOCTOR’S DRINK A doctor made it his regular habit to stop off at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. The bartender knew of his habit, and would always have the drink waiting at precisely 5:03 p.m. One afternoon, as the end of the work day approached, the bartender was dismayed to find that he was out of hazelnut extract. Thinking quickly, he threw together a daiquiri made with hickory nuts and set it on the bar. The doctor came in at his regular time, took one sip of the drink and exclaimed, “This isn’t a hazelnut daiquiri.” “No, I’m sorry,” replied the bartender, “it’s a hickory daiquiri doc.” YALE A man from North Carolina goes into a bar in New England. He asks the bartender, “Did you go to Harvard?” The bartender says, “Yale.” The North Carolinan says, “DID YOU GO TO HARVARD?” THAT’S MY BOY Bragging About Son Joke Three old ladies are sitting around a table playing bridge and bragging about their sons. “My Freddie,” said Margaret, “Everyone should be so lucky to have a son like my Freddie. Once a week he brings me a huge bouquet of flowers, he’s constantly bringing me out to restaurants to eat, if I so much as hint that I want something the next morning it’s on my doorstep.” “That’s very nice about your Freddie”, says Gertrude. “But with all due respect, when I think about the way my Sammy takes care of me, it just can’t compare. Every morning as soon as I wake up he greets me with bacon and freshly brewed coffee. Every lunch he comes over and cooks me a gourmet lunch, and every supper he brings me to his house for supper, he truly treats me like a queen.” “WELL!” Says Barbara “I don’t want to make any of you feel bad or anything, but wait until you hear about my Harry, twice a week he pays someone $200 an hour just so he can lie on their couch and talk to them, and who do you think he speaks about at those prices? Asks Barbara with a big excited double chin smile, “I’ll tell you who he speaks about! ALL HE SPEAKS ABOUT IS ME!”

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BUSINESS DIRECTORY

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Join Us Sundays: 4:00 pm

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604.299.9538 info@lhohcf.ca lhohcf.ca We are a multi-cultural community church where everyone is welcome— AND WE REALLY MEAN IT!

Quinn Waddington, CFA

Investment Advisor, Portfolio Manager FPSC Level 1® Certificant in Financial Planning Canaccord Genuity Wealth Management T: 604.699.0874 E: quinn.waddington@canaccord.com www.waddingtonwealth.ca

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Sunday School & ESL Bible Study 9:00am Sunday Service 10:00am

New Westminster

301-12th St, New West

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GOT A BURIED OIL TANK OR NOT SURE? The City of New West has new regulations. For info or a free detection call SPEEDY SOLUTIONS at

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First Free Methodist Church SERVING YOUR COMMUNITY 325 6th Street New Westminster, BC Tel: 604-521-0363 Service at 11am See you at church!

Wondering who Jesus is? Have questions? Committed Christian? You’re welcome here! Join us for Worship & Fellowship Sunday mornings at 10:30am 320 Eighth St, New Westminster Check us out at www.ffmcc.ca or on Facebook

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Learn how to create through the power of intention:

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Obtain a TD Canada Trust Mortgage Pre-approval and Shop with Confidence Pre-approvals are one of the easiest ways to start off the home buying process on the right foot1. There are many benefits of getting a pre-approval for your mortgage! Helps you establish a limit when looking for your dream home before you start house hunting, so you know what price range to target! Many homebuyers aim too high, bidding on a home outside of their budget. Later they learn the home is beyond their means due to other financial factors. Having a pre-approval eliminates the stress of not knowing what you can afford and what your payments will be. Receive a committed interest rate for 120 days!1 In todayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s rising interest rate environment, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s smart to protect yourself from rising rates down the road. TD Canada Trust will commit to the interest rate for 120 days from the date of the pre-approval. Eliminate the guesswork!

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Call me for a pre-approval or consultation: Jahan Siddiqui Manager, Mobile Mortgage Specialist Tel: 604 727 7599 Fax: 604 909 1977 E: jahangir.siddiqui@td.com mms.tdcanadatrust.com/jahangir.siddiqui/ 1

Some conditions apply.

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