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COMING CLEAN ABOUT SOBRIETY By Clive Allwright
I have contemplated writing about this subject for some time. Because it’s extremely personal to me and could possibly be confronting for some people. My name is Clive and I am an alcoholic and addict in active recovery. I feel now is a good time to share my story, as some of you may also be facing similar challenges. Due to the fact that as I write this. Most of our country is once again in some level of mandatory lockdown. Many of us hairdressers are struggling with our mental health, or drinking too much, anxiety, or financial fear, addictions and shit we didn’t even know we cared about. For the past 2 and something years, I am proud to say, “I am clean and sober from alcohol and drugs” It’s been and extremely tough journey. I finally accepted that I am powerless against alcohol and drugs. I have learnt so much on my journey of recovery. About myself, my addiction patterns and most confronting of all. Why I constantly turned to alcohol and drugs as my coping mechanism. I never imagined it could or would be possible to live my life without them Addiction doesn’t discriminate and you don’t have to be drinking at breakfast or homeless to be an alcoholic or addict. Most of us hairdressers are highly functioning professionals. Juggling our businesses, family, marriages, parenthood, friendships and now lockdowns, it’s like we are constantly spinning plates. Who doesn’t deserve a bottle of wine or two to help relieve the pressure? I now understand that most of us are affected by some level of trauma. Which can unexpectedly coax some of us slowly into addiction. The list of these horrific circumstances is endless. These continued lockdowns are traumatic. They could easily send the most intelligent among us running for the nearest bottle of Chardonnay or sleeping tablet to stop the anxiety.
The opposite to addiction is connection. We connect with business coaches that built successful salons. Personal trainers that know how to get us fit. So why are we so reluctant to seek help from people who managed to quit their addictions? Maybe because some of us can’t accept we might actually have a problem. The reality for me was one glass was too many, and 10 wasn’t nearly enough.
My relationship with alcohol and drugs has changed. I no longer need them, depend on them, turn to them when I am scared. I still think about them often, but I no longer fantasize about them. I except I am only one drink away from where I left off or worse. Addiction will always wait patiently for us to reconnect, because they’re cunning, baffling and powerful.
It’s ridiculous that alcohol is the only drug we feel the need to make excuses for. If we confessed to giving up meth or cocaine, gambling or heroin our decisions would be celebrated, probably with a celebratory drink. But if we are brave enough to announce our separation from alcohol. We often hear “Really? Your so much fun when your drunk! How long? Yeah right! Why?
I stupidly believed taking drugs and alcohol made me feel great. The reality was they were slowly taking a little bit of me until there was nearly nothing left. Lockdown’s have taken our freedom our choices, independence, and sadly lives.
Below are my top 10 personal sobriety reasons/wins • I was sick and tired of feeling sick and tired • I no longer have hangovers with crippling anxiety • My physical and mental wellbeing has dramatically improved • I save more money • I make better choices for myself and my family, my friends and our business • I have more quality time with everyone/ everything • I am reliable • I have natural highs and lows. Its ok to have a bad day • I understand what gratitude is • I look and feel younger Would you like some of the above? Breaking up from any long-standing relationship with anyone or anything is always going to be painful. I couldn’t have done this alone. Without encouragement, love, and support from the people closest to me.
I am eventually living my life on life’s terms, one day at a time. No matter what Gladys throws at me next. I am fitter, healthier and have a clear head, free from alcohol and drugs. Life would be so much worse if compounded under large hangover with an extra dash of fear and anxiety to taste every morning. I am stronger now, still the same old crazy Clive. I am always up for a laugh and a joke. But I drive home and remember what I said and where I went. Remember people that drink in moderation, don’t need to moderate their drinking. We work in the fashion industry and the most fashionable global trend right now is the explosion of alcohol-free drinks. Maybe try one sometime? Stay safe and cheers to that! If anyone is effected by any of the above and wish to discuss in confidence, how I got help please feel free to contact me directly via clive@piloroo.com or IG/FB @ Clive Allwright If you need urgent help contact www.lifeline.org.au or call 131114 Alcoholics Anonymous 1300 222 222 find an AA meeting near you today https://meetings.aa.org.au/next/ Narcotics Anonymous www.na.org.au/multi/ Or call 1300 652 820 Hair Biz Year 15 Issue 5
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