Finding Strength When Unexpectedly Expecting Everyone’s been anxious sometime. It’s easy to see why someone would get anxious before a big test or a wedding or some kind of job interview. But the funny thing about anxiety is that it can sometimes pop up when you least expect it, and when you are most vulnerable. It can send one thinking about their far away, distant future for no obvious reason, or mulling over their far away, distant past.
Unplanned pregnancies fall into the “common sense” category of anxiety triggers. After all, even a totally planned pregnancy will bring about some nervous feelings and concerns. So here are several valuable ways to combat anxiety. They include personal tools that can be used to combat immediate feelings of distress, as well as more long-term tools that will help a possible birthmother choose what is the right path to take – and help her choose it for the right reasons grounded her own beliefs and dignity. Immediate Relief Sometimes the best way to deal with anxiety is not to rationalize what’s going on, but to just stop thinking for a moment. In the worst times, when anxiety hits the hardest, like if one is experiencing racing thoughts, or emotions that are spiraling out of control, what’s needed is immediate relief. If popping a pill to remedy anxiety comes to mind, think again. In these moments of intense distress, it can be most helpful to simply use the body to quiet the mind.
The ways to calm down are obvious: getting exercise, like taking a walk or jog in the fresh air, or calling a friend or family member can all help to ease anxious events. Even more immediate strategies include focusing on one’s breath as one takes deep breaths or engaging in prayer and meditation. Familiar Stress-Busters Just like the types of immediate relief just mentioned, it’s good to create habits that bust stress over time. If one frequently exercises, stretches, does yoga, journals, draws, writes stories, prays, or meditates, these habits can help one to switch gears and de-stress in a familiar way as soon as one senses anxious emotions being triggered. This is not a recommendation to go out and hire an expensive yoga teacher, or go to India to study the art of Zen meditation; it’s about finding something simple – anything really – that is helpful and grounding, and incorporating it into one’s life on a regular basis so that one can easily slip into the familiar motions and feel more at ease. Finding Strength in Others The practices described so far can be very helpful, and they can even be necessary for coping with anxiety. However, they may not help to fix the underlying problem that causes fear or uncertainty. If the idea of an unplanned pregnancy is still fundamentally startling, consider seeking support online or in person. Adoption agencies can provide counselors, support groups,
and many other useful resources; the Internet is another powerful resource. Going online to not just get support, but to hear how many women have been in the same exact position as you can help.
Ultimately, this may be the best resource of all. Hearing other peoples’ stories, and their ultimate triumph in the face of adversity can help to dispel negative thoughts and feelings. Having an unplanned pregnancy in many circumstances is not glorified in this culture. So it helps to see the truth: that real men and women deal with unplanned pregnancies all the time in totally healthy and empowering ways. Unexpected pregnancies are as old as time. Draw strength from knowing that your path is not wrong or bad or mistaken. Learn more about what others have done, and how they have faced whatever challenges fell in their path. Draw inspiration from those you look up to and want to emulate. Knowledge is Power As the knee-jerk nervousness subsides, and one starts to confront the challenges of the situation, the best thing to do is to learn about the real options available. Knowledge is power, and once all the options available are understood, then one can realize her own strength.
Look online for government-backed websites. The government has the task of making laws that help young people, and the government also has a strong interest in supporting those in society who are in need. Browsing the Internet for agencies, advocates, and departments backed by the government will be very helpful.
Adoption agencies also specialize in giving birthmothers plenty of information. It can be a wonderful surprise to learn about the wide range of different types of adoptions! It’s not just some mechanistic, one-size-fits-all process. In the even that a birthmother does want to have a baby and engage in the adoption process, there will be many ways to make the process meaningful, and there will be many ways for that specific adoption to reflect the particular path one would like to choose. The many different types of adoption range from how much contact a birthmother may have with the child, as well as whether the child may seek out the birthmother in the future. Asking an adoption agency for information and help can not only dispel myths around adoption, but it can reveal the many possibilities available. Placing a child for adoption is an important decision that requires careful consideration. Are you contemplating this loving option? Do you have any idea about how or where to start? Action Adoption at Providence Place can help. We will guide you through the process while making sure all your questions are answered. Contact us today to learn more.