QSaltLake Magazine - Issue 310 - April, 2020

e k a l t l sa

FREE

INE Y MAGAz L L A D N ANS A XUAL , TR E IS B , N APRIL, 2020 AY, LESBIA UTAH’S G VOL. 17 • ISSUE 310 QSALTLAKE.COM

MATRONS OF MAYHEM

Bring Drag Bingo and Fun to Salt Lake City to Raise Money for Charities PHOTO BY BRAD MONTGOMERY

CO V ID-19 A ND T HE L GB T Q COMMUNI T Y • U TA H PRIDE 2020 A BOU T L O V E A ND SUS TA IN A BIL I T Y

2 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE

Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 310 | April, 2020

EBRATI

W. BOUNTIFUL

N

G

L CE

SALT LAKE CITY DAYBREAK

SEVEN Y EAR S

19

20 99-

19

un

ni n

g

NG NNI RU

801/294.5960 UTAHANIMALCARE.COM

four y

s ea r

r

wh

wo

oDS

e re pe

crOs s • saLT

y a o pl

t s c o m e t reak

LAKE/airpOrT • dayb

(O

G PE NIN

2 0I

9)

self-wash grooming; daycare; boarding; stations; full veterinary services available; live, hd camera feed of every rest and play area; and, so much more.

UtahDogPark.com 801.683.DOGS

April, 2020 | ISSUE 310 | Qsaltlake.com

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 3

“The best advertising I do”

—JAY HALLSTROM

pages Get in the 2020 directory of Utah’s LGBTQ-friendly businesses today by calling 801-997-9763 or emailing sales@qsaltlake.com

4 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

Qsaltlake.com |

ISSUE 304 | SEPTEMBER 19, 2019

Free $50 Gift Card or iPod with new patient exam, complete series x-rays and cleaning.

One offer per family. Not valid with any other offer. Limitations and Exclusions Apply.

Dr Josef Benzon, DDS

Located in Bountiful & Salt Lake www.alpenglowdentists.com

Salt Lake 2150 S. Main St 104 801-883-9177

Bountiful 425 S. Medical Dr 211 801-397-5220

To schedule an appointment, please call 801-883-9177

Most Insurances Accepted, Evening and Saturday Appointments Available

SEPTEMBER 19, 2019 |

ISSUE 304 | Qsaltlake.com

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 5

6 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE

Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 310 | April, 2020

staffbox

publisher/editor Michael Aaron

ASSISTANT editor Tony Hobday NATIONAL NEWS editor Craig Ogan designer Christian Allred sales Tony Hobday, 801-997-9763 x1 tony@qsaltlake.com Ben Matthews, 801-997-9763 x1 ben@qsaltlake.com contributors Joshua Adamson Pickett, Diane Anderson-Minshall, Chris Azzopardi, Paul Berge, Jeff Berry, Paul Campbell, Laurie Bennett-Cook, Roger Cox, Stephen Dark, Jennifer Dobner, Mikki Enoch, Jack Fertig, Greg Fox, Oriol Gutierrez Jr., Tony Hobday, Ashley Hoyle, Joshua Jones, Christopher Katis, Rock Magen, Sam Mills, Craig Ogan, Mikey Rox, Terri Schlichenmeyer, Gregg Shapiro, Petunia Pap Smear, Steven Petrow, Ed Sikov, JoSelle Vanderhooft, Ben ­Williams, D’Anne ­Witkowski distribution RJ Graham publisher

Q Media Group 222 S Main St, Ste 500 (by appt. only), Salt Lake City, Utah 84101 tel: 801-997-9763

CONTACT EMAILS: general: info@qsaltlake.com editorial: editor@qsaltlake.com ARTS: arts@qsaltlake.com sales: sales@qsaltlake.com

Check us out online at: QSALTLAKE.COM FACEBOOK.COM/QSALTLAKE TWITTER @QSALTLAKE

QSaltLake Magazine is a trademark of Salt Lick Publishing, LLC., Q Media Group Copyright © 2020, Salt Lick Publishing, LLC. All rights reserved. No material may be reprinted or reproduced without written permission from the publisher. 8–12,000 copies are distributed free of charge at over 300 locations across the state. Free copies are limited to one per person.

For additional copies, call 801-997-9763. It is a crime to dispose of current issues or otherwise interfere with the distribution of this magazine. Printed locally in the USA on recycled paper. Please recycle this copy when done.

April, 2020 | ISSUE 310 | Qsaltlake.com

QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 7

WHARTON | O’BRIEN

www.wolawutah.com

CALL 801-649-3529 FOR A FREE CONSULTATION

• Family Law • Criminal Defense • Wills & Trusts • Business Law • LGBTQ Advocacy Wharton O’Brien, PLLC 165 S. Main St. Suite 200 Salt Lake City, U T 84111

4th annual gayla

A Black & White Affair POSTPONED. WATCH DATE THURSDAY, APRIL 16,FOR 6–9PM GALLIVAN CENTER BLACK & WHITE ATTIRE TICKETS AT

UTAHGAYLA.COM

UTAHLGBTQCHAMBER.ORG

8 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

news The top national and world news since last issue you should know

BY CRAIG OGAN

Pete not gay or woke enough for some Protesters interrupted a speech by a Democratic presidential candidate. Not uncommon, but what is uncommon is that it was a protest against then candidate Pete Buttigieg, who has now withdrawn from the presidential campaign, by Queers Against Pete who did not him because he opposed Medicare for All and free college tuition. They cited his record on race and policing policies while he was mayor of South Bend. They also opposed his “white, upper-middle class sensibility” which they believe doesn’t represent the LGBTQ community. “He just furthers white supremacy,” wrote a spokesperson. “We believe the LGBTQIA community deserves better than Pete.”

Surprise, Million Moms dis Billy Porter The American Family Association sub-group, One Million Moms, is protesting Billy Porter’s Sesame Street appearance because PBS is using Porter to promote “its “LGBTQ agenda.”

The one known member of One Million Moms writes, “PBS recently announced that Sesame Street will feature a drag queen activist wearing a gender-bender tuxedo gown in one of its episodes this year. PBS KIDS should stick to entertaining and providing family-friendly programming, instead of pushing an agen-

Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 310 | April, 2020

da.” Porter’s common-sense response, “If you don’t like it, don’t watch it. Like, what about me singing with a penguin [on the show] has anything to do with what I’m doing in my bedroom?”

San Diego elections a gay affair Gay candidate Todd Gloria won the most votes in mayoral primary in San Diego, finishing with 40.2 percent of the vote.

The second-place candidate got 25.2 percent. The race is officially nonpartisan, but Gloria identifies as a Democrat. If he wins he replaces Kevin Faulconer, reputedly a Republican.

Schrock, non-shock Instagram outing A former member of Congress who voted against pro-LGBT and for anti-LGBT legislation but was often seen partying with gay men at Coachella and Carnival in Brazil, posed shirtless in Men’s Fitness and decorated his office in the fashion of Downton Abby, but always denied he was gay recently announced he is gay on Instagram. Adam Schock resigned as a congress member from Illinois in 2015 for misuse of taxpayer funds. He came out on the recent post, “to remove any doubt and to finally validate who I am as a person.” Being out of the headlines since 2015 is the probable motive to reveal a yawn-worthy fact that everyone related to him, who knew him, saw him or read about him, knew anyway.

RIP, ‘Boys in the Band’ playwright Mart Crowley has died at the age of 84. Crowley, author of the groundbreaking gay play, The Boys in the Band, depicted a gay birthday party that turns sour in the way only gay parties can. The play won a Tony and was made into a feature film by director,

William Friedkin. A Broadway revival with Jim Parsons and Zachary Quito premiered in 2018. Netflix has announced a movie version for 2021. The play debuted Off-Broadway in 1968 and broke ground as one of the first plays to give a depiction of middle-class, Manhattan gay life. Crowley worked in television as a writer and showrunner and wrote a sequel to Boys, titled, The Men from the Boys, in 2004.

Franklin Graham, so’s your old man Evangelist Franklin Graham, son of the late Billy Graham, was hoping to take his Christian crusade to Great Britain, but his longtime criticism of LGBTQ civil rights progress fouled the footpath for him.

British LGBTQ groups lobbied the large venues in England and Scotland he had booked to cancel the Graham rallies and they complied. Graham replied to charges that he is homophobic by charging groups against him are “truthophobic” or “free-speech-ophobic.” He says he will sue to get the signed contracts for the venues enforced. The venues have shown no willingness to go back on going back on contracts they made with Graham.

Gay intelligence In a mark of progress from the days gay men were hounded out of the intelligence services, Richard Grenell has been appointed acting director of National Intelligence. The new job, a cabinet-level position, makes Grenell the highest serving openly gay man to hold federal office in United States history. He will keep his post as West German Ambassador and return to full time duties there after the recently nominated permanent DNI is confirmed by Congress. He has served in the U.N. and the White House-based National

Security Council. As ambassador, he was assigned to work on decriminalizing gay and lesbian relationships and organizations in countries where it was illegal. Recently he got the U.N. to condemn countries which still outlaw homosexuality.

Critics abound: Tony Perkins, the head of the anti-LGBT hate group Family Research Council commented he feared Grenell will engage in LGBT activism as acting director. The former U.S. ambassador to Denmark, Rufus Gilford, also a married, gay man called the appointment, “weird and dangerous.”

Gay PM loses job and it’s just politics Leo Varadkar one of the highest-ranking openly gay elected officials in the world, has resigned as Ireland’s prime minister when his party lost its parliamentary majority.

Varadkar introduced progressive measures to a conservative Ireland, including gay marriage. Most expect the new government, led by the more conservative Sinn Fein Party (which was once the political affiliate of the Irish Republican Army), will not change any of the social policies enjoying wide acceptance in Ireland.

Varadkar brought his husband to the White House during the last two U.S. presidential administrations to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day, a big holiday in the U.S.A., but apparently just another day to drink in Ireland.

Adoption discrimination to be heard The U.S. Supreme Court will hear a case about Philadelphia ending its contract with a Catholic agency that rejects LGBTQ parents as adoption services candidates. The American Civil Liberties Union contends the Catholic Social Services’ case is legally baseless and conflicts with accepted child welfare standards. Q

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 9

April, 2020 | ISSUE 310 | Qsaltlake.com

Utah Pride Days 2020 will emphasize love and sustainability The Utah Pride Center announced that Pride Days 2020 will kick off May 29th with the fifth annual Pride Spectacular Gala and concludes with the 45th annual Utah Pride Festival on June 6 and 7 and the 30th annual Utah Pride Parade the morning of June 7.

The 2020 theme is Love On, Live On, which organizers say emphasizes the need for more love towards our LGBTQ+ communities and aims to continue conversations about what it means to live on and thrive.

“Love On, Live On encourages us all to take better care of our individual health and our planet so future generations can continue the fight for equality,” Hillary McDaniel, Utah Pride Center’s community events director, said in a statement.

The Utah Pride Parade is celebrating its 30th year. Utah’s first march featured 270 people who walked from the steps of the Utah State Capitol down Main Street.

Over the years the parade has grown to over 60,000 spectators and participants.

This growth has prompted the Utah Pride Center to find ways to make the parade more sustainable and have lower impacts on the environment, especially air quality. The Parade now has a goal to produce its first emissions-free parade, encouraging participants to prioritize electric vehicles, walking groups, and other zero-emissions options. If zero-emis-

3500 S 900 E

sions options are not available, there is an opportunity to offset parade vehicle emissions by donating to Salt Lake City Mayor Erin Mendenhall’s 1,000 Trees campaign at treeslc.org.

“If we can imagine an emissions-free parade, we can imagine an emissions-free world,” McDaniel said.

The initiative to reduce emissions was spurred by concerns over air quality in the Salt Lake Valley, the city government’s progressive green initiatives, and the Utah Pride Center’s more broad goal to increase sustainability throughout Pride weekend.

“Year after year we have continued to find ways to make our Pride Days events more sustainable. This year we are asking our community partners to get creative and see what they can do with less impact on local air quality,” said Rob Moolman, Utah Pride Center Executive Director.

“Our parade is a major downtown event, yet small in the grand scheme of things.

We hope this effort inspires others to start thinking about little changes they can make that will benefit the health and wellness of us all.”

Georgie Corkery, the event’s sustainability director, says sustainability is very much a part of the fight for full equality.

“Our world is facing a global climate crisis, and all of us are affected by it, including the LGBTQ+ community,” Cork-

ery explained. “Environmental injustice breeds social injustice, and the Utah Pride Center is at the forefront of fighting for social justice. This year at the 2020 Utah Pride Festival, we strive to strengthen the fight for environmental justice as well.”

The Festival also plans to continue its efforts to reduce the amount of waste sent to the landfill, to encourage festival-goers to bring their own reusable water bottles, to incentivize public transportation or bicycles to travel to and from the Festival, and to provide free recycling education on Festival grounds.

Utah Pride Days is the Utah Pride Center’s largest fundraiser of the year featuring a broad spectrum of activities and entertainment. This year’s celebration will include events throughout the months of May and June in partnership with community organizations, local businesses, and Center programs.

Applications are now open for vendor booths, parade participants, food vendors, and local entertainers. Pride Spectacular tickets & tables are on sale now at utahpridecenter.org. Festival tickets will be available online on Friday, March 6.

The Festival is presented by Young Automotive and Mark Miller Subaru and the Utah Pride Parade is presented by Intermountain Healthcare and SelectHealth.

The Festival is also seeking volunteers.

Find information at bit.ly/2QYY3Wa. Q More information about Utah Pride Days can be found at utahpridecenter.org/festival

CELEBRATING 65 YEARS AS YOUR FAVORITE GARDEN CENTER

801.487.4131

10 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 310 | April, 2020

COVID-19 and the LGBTQ community The LGBT population may be at increased risk for COVID-19, the disease caused by the new coronavirus. To get the word out, over 100 national and local organizations have signed an open letter initiated by a coalition of six organizations.

The letter spells out the main reasons for the heightened concerns. It also lists 10 ways those involved with the COVID-19 response—including health officials and the media—can ensure that LGBT people are treated properly during coronavirus outbreaks.

According to the letter, three main factors increase the vulnerability of the LGBTQ community to COVID-19: The LGBTQ population uses tobacco at rates that are 50 percent higher than the general population. This is relevant because COVID-19 is a respiratory disease that is harmful to smokers.

The LGBT population has higher rates of cancer and HIV, both of which can compromise a person’s immune system and make someone more vulnerable to COVID-19.

The LGBTQ population still faces discrimination, including in health care settings. This makes many people hesitate to seek care.

The letter also notes that because LGBTQ seniors may fear harassment or discrimination, they are less likely than straight elders to be involved in health and wellness programs for seniors. Over 3 million LGBTQ older people are living in the United States; they are especially vulnerable to COVID-19, which has a higher mortality rate among older people in general.

WHAT IS AND ISN’T KNOWN Over a month after the new coronavirus respiratory disease known as COVID-19 came to public attention, researchers and public health officials are continuing to learn about its spread, its mortality rate and who is most likely to become seriously ill.

Although much remains unknown, it’s clear that older people, those with other health conditions and people with compromised immune systems have a higher likelihood of severe illness. This may include people living with HIV, especially those with low CD4 counts. But taking some basic precautions can lower your risk and improve your well-being.

The mortality rate for COVID-19 is thought to be around 2.5%, based on the numbers reported in the hardest-hit areas of China. This is substantially higher than the typical seasonal flu (around 0.1%), but much lower that the death rates of the SARS (severe acute respiratory syndrome) and MERS (Middle East respiratory syndrome) coronaviruses, at around 10% and 30%, respectively.

A majority of people with COVID-19 have mild symptoms including fever, cough and shortness of breath. Around 20% develop more severe illness, including pneumonia and acute respiratory distress syndrome, which may require intensive care and in some cases mechanical ventilation.

But not everyone who contracts the virus is at equal risk. According to a recent study by the Chinese Center for Disease Control and Prevention of more than 45,000 confirmed cases, people with coexisting conditions had higher death rates: 5.6% for cancer, 6.0% for high blood pressure, 6.3% for chronic respiratory disease, 7.3% for diabetes and 10.5% for cardiovascular disease. The greatest risk was seen among people age 80 or older, at 14.8%.

Researchers are hard at work to develop treatments for COVID-19 and a vaccine for SARS-CoV-2. Certain HIV medications have shown activity against the coronavirus. Clinical trials of Gilead Sciences’ antiviral drug remdesivir are currently underway in China and at the University of Nebraska Medical Center in Omaha — home of the CDC’s largest biocontainment unit — where some people who contracted the virus overseas are being treated.

A vaccine from Moderna Therapeutics has been sent to the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases for the first Phase I study. However, human trials are expected to last at least a year before a vaccine is ready for widespread use.

WHAT ABOUT PEOPLE WITH HIV? Compared with the general population, people with compromised immunity are at higher risk of developing more serious COVID-19 illness. The HIV population is aging, and nearly half are over 50. Those with low CD4 T-cell counts, indicating advanced immune suppression, are at greatest risk. People with HIV are more likely to develop cardiovascular disease

and may do so at a younger age. Certain HIV medications, especially older drugs, can cause neutropenia, or depletion of immune system white blood cells that fight infection.

“When you look at who’s been most profoundly ill, it tends to be people who are older, in their 60s, 70s and 80s. As you get older, your immune system doesn’t function as well,” says Steve Pergam, MD, MPH, of the Vaccine and Infectious Disease Division at Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center.

Among people living with HIV, “it’s all based on level of immune suppression,” Pergam said. “For an HIV patient who is on stable antiretroviral therapy and has a normal CD4 count, their risk may be slightly increased. People often lump HIV patients with other immunosuppressed patients, but HIV is a different disease than it was years ago. For people who have a reconstituted immune system because of treatment, I think the risk is not going to be tremendously different.”

People with a weakened immune system may be unable to fight off the virus, or they may develop an excessive inflammatory immune response known as a cytokine storm. Paradoxically, immune suppression can sometimes mean fewer or milder early symptoms, such as fever, even as the virus and the body’s response to it ravage the lungs and other organs.

During a special session of the Conference on Retroviruses and Opportunistic Infections on March 10 — held virtually by webcast because of the crisis — John Brooks, MD, of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said that the risk of COVID-19 is likely greater for HIV-positive people who have a low CD4 count or do not have full viral suppression on antiretrovirals. Nonetheless, given how much remains unknown, he advised that all people with HIV take precautions.

Brooks’ recommendations include ensuring at least a 30-day supply of medications, keeping up to date with flu and pneumonia vaccines, and establishing a plan for clinical care if isolated or quarantined. Finally, he advised, “Maintain a social network, but remotely—social contact helps us stay mentally healthy and fights boredom.” Q A version of this story first appeared in POZ, an award-winning print and online brand for people living with and affected by HIV/AIDS. Since 1994, POZ magazine and POZ.com are trusted by readers as their best sources of information about the disease.

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 11

April, 2020 | ISSUE 310 | Qsaltlake.com

Utah Pride Center responds to COVID-19/Coronavirus The Utah Pride Center announced they are putting into effect a 17-day plan of action in regard to COVID-19/coronavirus.

“The skills to respond to a health crisis are part of our history and present. LGBTQ+ people came together during the outbreak of HIV/AIDS, educating one another, caring for one another, and providing for each other’s needs,” executive director Rob Moolman wrote. “We continue to come together in this way to meet each other’s needs.

Please be assured, we are not leaving you. We need each other now and always.”

“Our obligation to our community is to be present for you while simultaneously considering the safety of our community members in light of what the W.H.O. has declared a pandemic,” leaders wrote in a statement.

Leaders are suspending or changing current programming at the Center and/ or sponsored by the Center through Sunday, March 29.

LARGE EVENTS There will be a 30-day hiatus on events, including the Queer Food Festival, The Sun Revisited, and Queer Prom.

These will be postponed and rescheduled.

UTAH PRIDE CENTER GROUPS AND MEETINGS All in-person programming at the Center is postponed, effective immediately. Affected people are asked to reach out to the group coordinator for information on online opportunities to continue to participate.

COUNSELING AND MENTAL HEALTH SERVICES Those receiving mental health services through the Center should contact their individual therapist for options.

UTAH PRIDE CENTER GENERAL OPERATIONS AND MEETING SPACE The Center will be closed to the public through March 29.

REACHING TO PRIDE CENTER WHILE CLOSED

H

Hawkes Family Law Divorce | Custody | Alimony A down-to-Earth law firm that aims for solutions, not fights.

We help you develop the most cost-effective strategy to meet your goals for the case. Our mission is to give a voice to underrepresented people and to empower our clients through a wide variety of legal services.

Danielle Hawkes, esq 801-953-0945

261 E 300 S #200 Salt Lake City, Utah 84111 danielle@hawkesfamilylaw.com ESPAÑOL | PORTUGUÉS

Center staff will continue to use digital forms of communication: Email: General information — info@utahpridecenter.org LGBTQ seniors — sage@ tahpridecenter.org Mental health inquiries — therapy@utahpridecenter.org Youth and family — yfp@ utahpridecenter.org Phone: 801-539-8800 Social media: Message the Center on Facebook or Instagram, which will be checked regularly.

“We are not leaving you and you are not alone,” Moolman continued. “Please know that our community’s best interest is at the heart of every decision we are forced to make. Let’s do what we can to care for our bodies, our spirits and our community.

Call or Facetime your friends.

Be gentle with yourself and neighbors. If you are in need of a connection, reach out.”

“We will get through this together, even if we might not be able to be physically in the same room,” he said.

“We are a tough bunch and a community of fighters so we will get through this thing just like we have survived so many others.” Q

Know who WANTS your business and will treat you with the DIGNITY and RESPECT you deserve

12 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | VIEWS

views

Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 310 | April, 2020

quotes “I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.”

—Albert Einstein

“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”

—Mother Teresa

“All that we are is the result of what we have thought.”

—Buddha

“The most courageous act is still to think for yourself.

Aloud.”

—Coco Chanel

“Stay hungry, stay foolish.”

—Steve Jobs

“The greatest wealth is to live content with little.”

—Plato

“The future belongs to those who prepare for it today.”

—Malcolm X

“The successful warrior is the average man, with laser-like focus.”

—Bruce Lee

“A great man is always willing to be little.”

—Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Don’t count the days, make the days count.”

—Muhammad Ali

“In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different.“ —Coco Chanel

“Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.”

—Dalai Lama

“Well done is better than well said.”

—Benjamin Franklin

April, 2020 | ISSUE 310 | Qsaltlake.com

who’s your daddy

What he said

VIEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 13

TAX TIME FEEL SAFE AND CONFIDENT Gay owned and operated.

Filing individual, business, estate and trust returns

BY CHRISTOPHER KATIS

For the

past 10-1/2 years, you’ve heard what I think about being a gay dad. I thought it may be interesting to hear from another gay dad — the one I’m married to. So, I interviewed Kelly about what fatherhood has been like for him.

Why did you want to become a dad in the first place? I thought it would be an amazing experience for us to share together. I had seen my brother’s house full of kids and grandkids, and I knew how close you are with your family, so I thought it would be fulfilling and challenging and rewarding all at the same time. And I thought we would be good parents.

Boy, were you wrong! OK, I thought I’d be a good parent. You’d be the crazy one.

I can be a lot to deal with… That’s true.

Stop. What do you think each of us as parents offers the boys? I think I’m calmer when things with the boys don’t go exactly as planned. You’re more emotional. But that’s good too because it lets them know it’s OK to have and express their feelings.

I also think I’m way more patient than you are.

How do you think being gay has influenced what type of dad you are? I think that since we had to work hard to become dads, we’re more dedicated to parenthood and more invested. I also think that as gay men, we’re more compassionate and understanding. We both grew up in a far less tolerant time for gay people, so I think that’s made us kinder. I don’t think we have as many preconceived expectations of our kids like a lot of straight people do.

What advice would you give other gay couples thinking about becoming parents or who already are? For those who already

have kids, believe in yourself. You’re probably doing a far better job than you’re giving yourself credit for. To those who are thinking about becoming parents, think really long and hard about it. Parenthood is honestly the most rewarding and satisfying thing you’ll ever do, but it turns your life completely upside down.

What advice would you give me to be a better parent? Just relax and enjoy it.

That’s what he said. Seriously? Are you 11 today? It really doesn’t matter if the boys become successful professionals or not. It’s not a reflection of us as parents.

What’s important is that they grow up to be decent, kind, respectful adults. And they are. That’s what’s important.

How has being parents changed our relationship? Well, this September we’ve been dads for exactly half of our life together. It’s meant that we’ve had to make some serious decisions based on their needs and not on what we necessarily want — like moving to Utah. It’s meant not doing a lot of stuff that I know you especially would have wanted to, like trips and parties. But I also think it’s strengthened our relationship. We’ve become closer, more of a team, since the boys came along.

I think it’s funny that all we fight about are the kids and parking spots. I’ve been driving a lot longer than you have, I know what I’m doing. We fight about the kids because, like I said earlier, we’re so committed to trying to be good, decent parents. And that’s not always easy, especially now that the boys are teenagers.

You have a crazy, over-emotional response to every little thing…

Stop. And I have the completely opposite reaction. So, we balance each other out.

Thank you, Kelly. Can I go now? Q

accounting services

801-455-6683 – david@digitsas.com

Everything from Angels to Zen

12896 S Pony Express Rd Suite 200 in Draper (just north of IKEA) 801.333.3777 www.ilovelotus.com

LotusStore

14 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | VIEWS

Qsaltlake.com |

guest editorial

ISSUE 310 |

April, 2020

The Equal Rights Amendment is a queer movement

BY KATE KELLY

You may

have seen many ­female congressmembers wearing green ERA NOW buttons to the State of the Union Address recently. But, just what is the ERA and who is it for? Why should LGBTQ+ people care?

The Equal Rights Amendment, or ERA, is a simple amendment to the U.S. Constitution, penned by prominent American suffragist Alice Paul in 1923. Its principal clause states: “Equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex.”

Paul believed American women needed to be explicitly included in the constitution in order to fully benefit from its protection.

She was right. Ruth Bader Ginsburg did pioneer legal protection arguments “on the basis of sex” in the 1970s under the 14th Amendment’s Equal Protection Clause. She paved the way for gender to be included along with other categories like race, religion, and national origin as unconstitutional forms of discrimination.

However, unlike these other groups, the Supreme Court determines whether a law amounts to sex-based discrimination at a lower level of “scrutiny.” What does this mean? To this day, it’s still easier for state and federal governments to pass sexist laws and keep them on the books than other categories of discriminatory laws.

Originalist justices like the late Antonin Scalia and his ilk do not believe that the Constitution rightfully protects from discrimination on the basis of sex, at all, even under the Equal Protection Clause.

In 2011, Scalia publicly said, “Certainly the Constitution does not require discrimination on the basis of sex. The only issue is whether it prohibits it. It doesn’t.

Nobody ever thought that that’s what it meant. Nobody ever voted for that.” In order for justices like him to concede protection on the basis of sex is valid, women still need to be written directly into the Constitution.

After its introduction in every Congress since 1923, the ERA finally passed in Congress in 1972 to much fanfare and went to the states for ratification. Initially, it had almost unanimous, bipartisan nationwide support, due to the robust women’s liberation movement sweeping the country at the time. But, conservative and religious groups began to whip up anti-ERA fervor, leading the ERA to fall just three states short of ratification in 1982.

In order to defeat such a popular amendment, anti-ERA opposition groups used arguments overlapping with anti-­ LGTBQ+ sentiment. Phyllis Schlafly’s group “STOP ERA” endlessly beat the drum with cries of its potential to legalize gay marriage (a common scare tactic at the time), and one of the best-known strategies deployed by anti-ERA activists was to stoke the irrational fear of unisex bathrooms. Notoriously anti-LGTBQIA+ organizations like the Mormon Church also played a key role in killing the original attempt to ratify the Equal Rights Amendment.

Now, over 30 years later, the LGBTQ rights movement has won incredible victories and successfully made moot nearly all of the anti-ERA arguments. Thanks to decades of tireless advocacy that led to the case of Obergefell v. Hodges, same-sex couples can now marry anywhere in the U.S. Public unisex restrooms are now becoming the norm in many places. All this progress does not bode well for the anti-ERA cause.

In 2017, on the heels of all this social transformation and after the Women’s March, a queer, black preacher from Nevada resurrected the ERA and brought it back into the modern age and political discourse as viable. As one of two openly gay senators in the legislature, Nevada state Senator Pat Spearman said, “The Equal Rights Amendment is about equality, period,” and shepherded an ERA ratification resolution through both houses.

Due to Spearman’s efforts, the Nevada

legislature ratified the ERA 45 years to the day since Congress originally passed it. Sen. Spearman almost single-handedly reignited the robust national fight for constitutional rights on the basis of sex.

In 2018, Illinois followed suit, then on January 15 of this year, Virginia’s General Assembly passed a ratification resolution for the ERA in a 59–41 vote in the House of Delegates and 28–12 in the Senate, making it the 38th state to pass the resolution.

This leaves only 12 potential states: Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, Missouri, North Carolina, Oklahoma, South Carolina, and Utah. None of these are known to be bastions of queer or women’s liberation, but several have their own state versions of the ERA already in their respective constitutions. Further, there are active campaigns in several states to ratify the ERA, including North Carolina, Arizona, and Georgia.

As the ERA gets closer to the century-long quest of ratification, the question that looms large is: equal rights for whom? Though considered to be an amendment to add the female population to the Constitution, the word “women” is conspicuously absent from the ERA, which instead forbids discrimination on the basis of “sex.” It can be argued that this simple, straightforward language holds ample potential to protect all marginalized genders and sexual minorities.

Within the past two decades, six federal circuit courts of appeals and at least 15 federal district courts have concluded that discriminating against a person because they are transgender amounts to sex-based discrimination. The most relevant of these decisions is a case called Glenn v. Brumby, a federal lawsuit filed on behalf of a transgender woman fired from her job after she stated her intention to live as a woman. In this case, the Eleventh Circuit held that “a person is defined as transgender precisely because

April, 2020 |

VIEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 15

ISSUE 310 | Qsaltlake.com

of the perception that his or her behavior transgresses gender stereotypes.”

Therefore, “discrimination against a transgender individual because of her gender-nonconformity is sex discrimination,” and subject to intermediate scrutiny under the Equal Protection Clause.

This burgeoning case law suggests trans+ people are protected under the current interpretation of “discrimination on the basis of sex” under the Equal Protection clause in the Constitution (the same category cis women are protected under). So, it stands to reason that trans+ people may also fall under the umbrella of the ERA’s protections, once it’s ratified and integrated into the Constitution. The ERA could play a role in expanding protections for trans+ people nationwide.

The ERA may also provide additional protection from discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation. There are cur-

rently only two federal circuit courts that have found discrimination on the basis of sexuality to be sex-based discrimination, and excitingly, “the tide may be turning” according to this 2018 case from the First Circuit. These federal circuit court decisions (Hively v. Ivy Tech Community College of Indiana and Zarda v. Altitude Express, Inc.) have already concluded that sexual orientation discrimination is also a subset of sex discrimination under the Equal Protection Clause. There would be no principled reason for courts to allow sex stereotyping discrimination under the Equal Rights Amendment, while simultaneously prohibiting sex stereotyping discrimination under the Equal Protection Clause and a variety of state and federal statutes.

Current generations of Americans are rethinking gender norms in new and exciting ways and looking beyond strict

Our second clinic in South Jordan is now open. We are excited to continue providing the same high quality care we are known for in this new area

gender binaries. Thanks to the overarching language used by Alice Paul, the ERA can potentially serve as a wider tent of constitutional protection than she could have ever envisioned in 1923. The ERA is an amendment for our times.

We are only one state away from changing our foundational legal document. Let’s work together to ratify the ERA, and finally get the protection and recognition well over 50 percent of the population deserves — for women, girls, nonbinary folx, our transgender siblings, and all marginalized genders. When children read about the Constitution in school with the ERA firmly planted in it, they will learn that all Americans are created equal, not just men. Q Kate Kelly is a human rights attorney at Equality Now, an international women’s rights NGO and a lead organizer of the national ERA Coalition. Follow her on Twitter @ Kate_Kelly_Esq. A previous version of this article was first published in ‘The Advocate’ and is used with permission.

Douglas M Woseth M.D. FAAD

Angela Brimhall D.O. FAOCD

Breton Yates M.D. FAAD

Elena Hadjicharalambous, M.D.

Treating All Aspects of Medical, Surgical and Cosmetic Dermatology

• Skin Cancer • Mohs Surgery • Acne • Moles • Belotero

• Eczema • Chemical Peels • Botox • Juvederm • Kybella

Call to schedule an appointment

801-266-8841

• Radiesse • Bellafill • Microneedling • Laser Treatments

Michael R Swinyer P.A.-C

Alisa Seeberger F.N.P.-C

Shane Farr P.A.-C

1548 E. 4500 S. #202 • Salt Lake City 4040 W. Daybreak Pkwy, #200 • South Jordan

16 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | MAYHEM

Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 310 | April, 2020

MATRONS OF MAYHEM Bring Drag Bingo and Fun to Salt Lake City to Raise Money for Charities

BY MICHAEL AARON, AKA PANSY PAP SMEAR PHOTOS BY BRAD MONTGOMERY

While Drag Bingo is only recently sweeping the nation, it has been around for nearly two decades in the Salt Lake Valley.

Yes, those over-the-top, tell-it-like-it-is, men-dressedas-women plucking balls from the bingo cage have been in the land of Zion for a very long time.

These aren’t your typical “trying to be pretty women” drag queens. These “girls” do what is known as camp drag — where they leave the facial hair (though often bespeckled with glitter), eschew “tucking,” and make no pretense that they look, sound, or act like the fairer sex.

The current definition of camp drag is “an aesthetic style and sensibility that regards something as appealing because of its bad taste and ironic value.”

Yup. Sounds about right.

The Matrons of Mayhem host Third Friday Drag Bingo on the … third Fridays … of the month raising money for a variety of charities, from animal rescues to health and arts organizations at First

Baptist Church, kitty-corner from East High School.

They also do a First Sunday bingo at Club Try-Angles and act as hostesses for the Big Gay Fun Bus. And, of course, you will find them in all their gloriousness at Utah Pride and other local Pride Festivals, as well as Q Lagoon Day and the streets of Park City during the Sundance Film Festival.

They’ve also participated in fundraising events for the Utah Stonewall Democrats, who often take up a full table at the monthly bingos, and Salt Lake Acting Company.

“We tend to be very selective with what we call ‘outside events,’” said

April, 2020 |

MAYHEM | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 17

ISSUE 310 | Qsaltlake.com

other bingo nights through the year and have a history of working hard at filling the hall for their own event and finding great prizes for winners.”

“Others are new to us and we have great discussions at our meeting about the importance of what the amount of money we raise can do for them,” Moser continued.

The typical bingo night raises somewhere around $2,500 to $3,000 for the charity, with some stand-outs raising near $5,000.

In November of last year, a particularly wild bingo night brought a record-breaking $10,700 for Camp Hobé, a summer camp program for children being treated for cancer and similarly-treated disorders and their families.

Courtney Moser who, as Petunia Pap Smear, is known as the grande dame of the group. “With the large number of monthly events we do, it can become a bit of a burden and we don’t want to burn out our queens.”

repressed sense of humor come out and play,” Moser continued.

Moser was brought into the Matrons

by Don Steward, who was known as Ruby Ridge and appeared in these pages in the column, “Mountain Meadow Mascara.”

Steward was one of the first Matrons and the person responsible for bringing bingo to First Baptist Church.

“I’m so grateful that all those years ago Ruby Ridge asked me to help her with Third Friday Bingo,” Moser said. “I derive extreme joy when I see other people’s smiles light up when they see us and ask to pose with us for photos. Perhaps I should have been a circus clown. Out of costume, I can never ask people for donations, but under the wig and behind the glasses, I have much more courage for

Courtney Moser, aka Petunia Pap Smear, cooling off before the start of Third riday Bingo.

Charities

Why drag bingo?

The charities the group raises funds for are chosen by the Matrons at a group meeting in December.

“More and more nonprofit organizations are wanting us to do bingos for them, especially those who come for another charity’s event,” Moser explained.

“Some of the groups are just no-brainers for us, as they often come and support

“As a gay kid growing up on an Idaho farm in a staunchly Mormon family, I never felt like I could be myself at home,” explained Moser. “I escaped this emotional prison by being the class clown in my tiny high school. But only to a limited extent.”

“Now that I’m free from those youthful constraints as an out adult, I think I am Petunia because I need to let my

such things. My heart swells with pride every time the audience donates to the many worthy charities.”

“Drag Bingo is an area where people feel at ease to be themselves around a group that encourages self-expression and love for each other,” said Terence Waters, who helps at the money table. “I truly feel like I’m with a family every month I come to volunteer unlike any other group I’ve been with.”

18 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | MAYHEM

Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 310 | April, 2020

very little I won’t do, especially if it raises money and awareness for good causes.

Being Sparkles allows me to fulfill my desire to help others.”

There are several Matrons volunteers who don’t get all “dolled up.” One is sound engineer Terry Gillman, who has been involved in Salt Lake’s LGBTQ community since the 80s.

“I joined because it looked like fun!

I stayed because the audience is so very generous, both with their pocketbooks and their spirit,” Gillman said. “I get to hang out with 200 of my dearest friends every month. Also, I’ve loved the friendship I’ve gained with the cast and support crew. It’s been a privilege to help this grow so much in the last couple of years.”

Drag Bingo

“The events are fun, we don’t take ourselves seriously, we’re all friends that love getting together, and we get to raise money for charity? Why wouldn’t I participate?” said Buddy Eyre, whose drag personae is known as Contasia VonClappe. “I knew a few Matrons prior to being asked to participate and I loved what they were doing in the community.

I’m a pop culture junkie and a theater geek, and the idea of putting together a fun costume or characters together sounded amazing.”

“Seeing the reactions we get each month as we parade our clown make-up around the hall each month is addictive.

It’s people having actual fun. It’s nice to see these days,” Eyre continued.

“I’m generally an extrovert, but I camp it up as much as possible when I’m at bingo. Overall, my character, Contasia VonClappe, is a lot gutsier than I would ever

Above: Buddy Eyre, as Contasia VonClappe, on the Salt Flats during a Big Gay Fun Bus trip. Right: Michael Nielsen as Sparkles Del Tassle in West Wendover, Nevada, also during a Big Gay Fun Bus trip.

Photos by Brad Montgomery

be. Contasia will say things to audience members, wearing a wig and a full face of make-up that Buddy would never say. It’s my ‘Ben Nye’ Armor,” Eyre said.

“People are usually shocked to find out I’m actually very shy and insecure. But it’s true when I have to be me,” said Michael Nielsen, aka Sparkles Del Tassel. “Put on a wig, boobs, butt, and tassels, and there is

“I feel drag bingo is becoming so prevalent as a source of entertainment because it creates a safe space of creativity, excitement, charity, and fun,” said newly inducted queen Bella Da Balle, who by day is known as Holden Williams. “It doesn’t matter what demographic or background you come from, you are able to step in and feel a sense of community with complete strangers as you play a game of bingo and help support a good cause. Even in Salt Lake City when you look upon the crowd you see individuals from all different generations, ethnicities, cultures, and economic backgrounds, which to me is very exciting.”

MAYHEM | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 19

April, 2020 | ISSUE 310 | Qsaltlake.com

“I found our plumber on qpages.com.

We’re staying”

Becky Moss has gotten the bird at Third ­Friday Bingo in Keck Social Hall at First Baptist Church.

“While RuPaul drug drag into the mainstream, for everyone to see, drag bingo has been around since the beginning of time (just ask Petunia and Sparkles), VonClappe said. “RuPaul made drag socially acceptable, and with the world in turmoil, it’s nice to get everyone together for an evening filled with love, charity, and acceptance. You can forget about your troubles, bring the entire family (and cute boyfriends) and spend the evening raising money for a different fabulous charity each month.”

“I found our real estate agent on qpages.com.

We’re selling”

History If you wanted to see drag in Salt Lake City at the start of the new millennium, chances are you typically sought out the Royal Court of the Golden Spike Empire. Then, as now, every detail of the Court’s productions — from lavish sets and outfits to fabulous performances — screamed elegance. But Rand Bodily didn’t want glamour and polish; he wanted polyester and paisley. He wanted obvious foam bust lines and middle-aged men in bouffants and glittery goatees.

He wanted funny.

“The RCSGE shows were great, but I thought people weren’t having fun at them,” he remembers. “So we needed something different.”

For Bodily, that something different came in the guise of the Denver Cycle Sluts, a Colorado-based camp drag troupe whose thrift store dresses and over-thetop mascara never concealed their masculine figures and who regularly performed to benefit local charities. ­Inspired by the

801.

997.

9763

Online and at over 350 locations across the Wasatch Front We also have marriage counselors

20 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | MAYHEM

Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 310 | April, 2020

Above, left to right: Christopher Rose as Prarie Rose, Brynnen Green as Liberty Belle, Josh Tipton as Adora Belle, and Michael Aaron as Pansy Pap Smear.

Photos by Brad Montgomery

Cycle Sluts’ antics and generosity, Bodily took the name Lucky Charms and teamed up with friends Chris Trujillo (Andromeda Strange), Clark Monk (Beneatha Serta), and Don Steward (Ruby Ridge) to form the Utah Cyber Sluts.

“The Cycle Sluts really mothered us,” Bodily remembers. “They showed us how to run a group like this, and even gave us a farcical ‘passing of the crown’ ceremony.”

Reactions Perhaps it is a post from the parent of a gender-variant child who comes to each month’s bingo that says it best.

“Friday was bingo with my child’s besties, the Matrons of Mayhem. He looked up at ‘Ms. Petunia’ as she walked onstage and said, ‘Oh, I like her blinking ring!’ I said, ‘Maybe you can tell her,’ so off he ran to sit with her. Short story short, he brought home a blinking ring. When it was time for pictures, ‘Ms. Moeisha’ scooped him right up and made him a princess Matron. During the children’s party foul, ‘Ms. Cherri’ scooped him up and carried him through the room. Later, she scooped him right up again and helped

him call a game.

He was so proud.

Watching the video this weekend he said, “Mama, I am SUCH a good bingo caller.”

My child wouldn’t stand onstage for two school concerts, but he’ll sure as Hell call a game of drag queen bingo.

He lights up and he loves up in that room every month. I absolutely love seeing my baby in that way. We’ve hugged and cried and danced with people we meet as strangers and leave as friends — and I don’t even like people. I had no idea how much we were missing this time together and with our beautiful community. We’ve grown our village.

In so many ways, I feel like our family has been scooped right up and held tight.

I hope the Matrons know just how much joy and happiness and love they have brought into our lives. We love y’all.” Q More info at facebook.com/matronsofmayhem

Above: Clockwise from the top left: Brandon Astin as Moeisha Montana (photo by Steve Conlin), Judd West as Pound Cake, Chad Hansen as Sunny Delite, David Beach as Cherri Bombb, sound man Terry Gillman, Aaron Honey Due List, bingo board display host Rob Cross, and cash table captains Rebecca Lisor and Terrence Waters (photo by Terrence Waters).

All other photos by Brad Montgomery.

MAYHEM | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 21

April, 2020 | ISSUE 310 | Qsaltlake.com

Online and at over 350 locations across the Wasatch Front

We also have wedding offciants

Advertise at 801.997.9763

Meet Sheridan Daly. She’s a proud LGBTQ millennial who’s been selling homes to first-time buyers for FOUR years. I’m proud to have her as part of my company. You choose an agent you can relate to, who can help you through the most important financial decisions you’ll ever have in life — whether buying or selling a home or investing in a rental property.

Either one of us is ready to meet with you.

Babs De Lay 801.201.8824 Sheridan Daly 801.915.1098

Urban Utah Homes & Estates — an LGBTQ-owned hyper-local firm

22 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | Q&A

Qsaltlake.com |

ISSUE 304 | SEPTEMBER 19, 2019

Brandy Clark is living her country dream The country musician is picking up Grammy nods, writing for Reba and, oh, she’s gay too

BY CHRIS AZZOPARDI

So, about

doing an LGBTQ press interview such as this one: coveted out country music singer-songwriter Brandy Clark is really into it. “This is exciting for me,” she tells me one recent afternoon.

To be clear, Clark, who’s been carrying the torch for LGBTQ people in country music since launching a recording career in 2013, has never shied away from LGBTQ press. Who knows why, then, she’s done so little of it. Clark has, after all, a full resume: four-time Grammy nominee (including a nod, in 2015, for Best New Artist), songwriter for Reba McEntire and Miranda Lambert and Jennifer Nettles and Keith Urban, and co-writer of Kacey Musgraves’ progressive country ditty “Follow Your Arrow,” which casually brought LGBTQ inclusivity to Southern consciousness.

On the heels of her third album, Your Life Is a Record, Clark, 44, opened up

about how coming out in her 20s served her career well, being embraced in Nashville, and hoping for a major out gay male country star.

Who knows which songs will affect me tomorrow, but right now I’m feeling “Bad Car” and “The Past Is the Past” because I’m a sucker for nostalgia. That’s always great to hear because “Bad Car” was one that I just didn’t know if it would fit on the record. It was in the mix for my last record too and ended up not fitting. We didn’t even record it; it was just one that was tossed around. And it came up again, which always tells me it’s a great song if it continues to bubble up, and that one’s really hitting a lot of people.

I’m a big fan of the way you write. How did you learn to write so well? Oh, good question. I think it starts with: I love stories and I grew up around great storytellers in my family, and I’m drawn to

great storytellers. So there’s that. I love to read, I love to watch great TV shows that are written really well, and I love country music. And I think I was fortunate to grow up in a time where there was a lot of great country songs. I grew up next to my grandparents, so the music they were listening to wasn’t necessarily on country radio at the time.

I remember my grandma coming home from both a Loretta Lynn and Merle Haggard concert, who I think are two of the greatest songwriters to ever live.

Dolly Parton was big in our home. Then when I was a teen and in my early 20s the country music of the ’90s was happening and there was so much great songwriting in all that. The first modern country artist that I really was a huge fan of was Patty Loveless and she had songs like “You Don’t Even Know Who I Am” written by Gretchen Peters, who is one of my favorite writers and someone I would consider

SEPTEMBER 19, 2019 |

ISSUE 304 | Qsaltlake.com

a huge influence.

I love songs that make me feel like I’m right there, I love songs that describe in three-and-a-half minutes a split-second decision, and then I love great story songs like [Kenny Rogers’] “The Gambler.” I think that’s what it was for me: It started out with just a love of storytelling and a love of music, and then being in Nashville and being around some of the best songwriters in the world, you’re only going to get better. And that’s what I did: I put myself in this place where the greatest are at.

With Kacey Musgraves and out gay country songwriter Shane McAnally, you co-wrote “Follow Your Arrow.” How much input did you have in the line “kiss lots of boys, or kiss lots of girls if that’s something you’re into”? What’s funny about that was: I think when we were writing that it wasn’t even something that was like, “Oh, should we put that in there?” It just worked. And with Shane and I being gay — and Kacey just being someone who’s so fluid in her thinking — it wasn’t a big deal.

And people would always say to me, “Oh, I bet you wrote that ‘kiss lots of girls’ line (laughs). I said, “I don’t even remember! I hope I did!” But I don’t know if I did or not. I mean, I’m really proud of it. It’s crazy because it’s by far not the biggest hit I’ve had, but impact-wise one of the biggest songs I’ve had. When people find out I was a co-writer on it, it’s like I wrote “Bridge Over Troubled Water.” (Laughs.)

But you understand why, right? Yes! Oh, I’m so proud of it. And I don’t think any of us realized that day or even when she put it on the album what a moment it was for a lot of people. I’m really proud of that, that the LGBTQ community feels represented, because I live in a bit of a bubble. I’ve always lived in pretty progressive areas. I grew up in the Northwest and I had parents who were gonna be accepting of me no matter what I was; if I was a green alien, they would be like, “OK, well we love you. Don’t smoke.”

(Laughs.) And then moving to Nashville and discovering I was gay: I was a late bloomer. Nashville’s a pretty liberal city for the South, and I was always in a group of people who were gay.

I can’t imagine that was the case in Mor-

ton, Washington, where you grew up, and where the population is around 1,000. How did you survive that experience? The truth is, luckily, I didn’t realize I was gay until I was in my early 20s.

Did not knowing until you moved to Nashville work in your favor? Had I realized early on, I don’t know what that would’ve been like for me. Because it was hard enough when I was in my 20s. My dad had passed away by this time. I had a mom who was so accepting, but I can’t imagine being in high school, being in a small school. I think the things about me that are pretty gay actually helped me fit in. I love sports, and one way to fit in in Morton was to be good at sports, and so I was. And I just didn’t have a clue I was gay, and some of that was probably because gay was not represented.

Right. Conceptually you didn’t really know what you could identity as. Exactly. I just knew that good girls didn’t sleep with their boyfriend and I was a good girl.

I mean, that’s what I thought. And my parents were pretty strict. I didn’t have a lot of rope to figure those things out.

I didn’t have real serious boyfriends. If there was a dance, I had to be home 10 minutes after the dance, so I didn’t have a lot of room to explore sexuality. I had friends who were sexually active; I just wasn’t. And I think so much of it was: I was so focused on sports at the time, and right when I got out of high school I got really into music.

It wasn’t until I fell in love for the first time, and happened to fall in love with a woman. It really freaked me out. Like, “Oh my god, I can’t be gay. But if being in love with her makes me gay, I guess I’m gay.”

(Laughs.) I have a really strong heart in that way. And I’m a fool and will follow it off a cliff. But then the second time I fell in love with a woman, I was like, “Oh, you know what, I think I’m gay.” (Laughs.) And then I was able to wrap my head around it a little differently.

Like I said, I had an incredibly accepting family. I didn’t have heavy-duty religion playing into it for me, telling me I was going to hell. I had a lot of acceptance, and it was still difficult for me, so I can’t imagine what these kids go through that have those things working against them.

Did songwriting help you come to terms with being gay? It did. One of my early

Q&A | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 23

co-writers in Nashville, I remember coming out to her and not knowing what she would think. She was so loving and she said to me, “I think it’s part of why you’re a really great songwriter.” I started to embrace myself differently. And I do: I think writing songs helped me process it.

I’ve heard it said that LGBTQ people are as evolved as they are because we have to go through years of self-reflection. We are forced to self reflect. That makes sense.

I can tell you one thing: There are a lot of reasons I feel fortunate that I’m gay, but one of them is that I’ve never fallen in love for the wrong reasons. It’s never been because of what someone looks like or what they did for a living because it was already like, “OK, this isn’t the popular choice already,” (laughs) so it’s always been what my heart wanted.

I saw there’s this new show on Netflix called Love Is Blind and I haven’t watched it, but I feel like that every time I’ve fallen in love, that’s what it’s been for me.

It’s been an emotional connection first.

And I do feel fortunate about that.

Years ago, you were proclaimed our “great lesbian hope” by AfterEllen. Maybe you’ve seen that. No, I didn’t see that! But I love that.

When I read that, I wondered if you felt pressure to carry the torch within a genre where there is so little LGBTQ representation? Pressure’s not the word. I feel a responsibility. Not everyone can be visible; I can be. And so if me being visible makes it easier for the next person to be, then that makes me really happy. And also I loved country music from probably the time I was conceived and I didn’t know I was gay, so I didn’t know I didn’t fit into that. I just knew I loved it. I loved Patsy Cline. I love, like I said, Merle Haggard.

George Strait. Reba. I’m kind of glad I didn’t know I was gay then because I would’ve maybe thought, “Oh, well, I can’t be that.”

But later, did you ever worry your sexuality could be an issue if you were going to be a country music artist? Yeah, for sure. When I really came out of the closet I thought, “OK, that dream is dead,” and then it’s funny how when you start being your authentic self things line up differently. It wasn’t long after that that I got approached about making my first record and I remember saying to my manager

24 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | Q&A

at the time who I was just meeting who approached me about it: “I feel like I need to tell you before we go any further that I’m gay.” And it was no big deal to her. She said, “I just think the focus is your music.”

And I’ve been really fortunate in that I’ve had two managers now and a couple of publicists and everybody’s been really good about “It’s part of the story, it’s not the whole story.” And it’s definitely not something I’m ashamed of. But I definitely did think, “Oh, I can’t have that.”

Because there was no template for artists like you? Yes. By the time I had the opportunity to make an album, k.d. lang was way far out of the closet. Chely Wright had come out.

But look what happened to Chely’s career.

She admits it stalled. I think part of my journey is that I was always out, so I don’t know what would have happened had I come out. I just know that I’ve been embraced and I’ve never felt like something didn’t happen because I was gay. Maybe it has, but if it has I’ve never felt it.

It must’ve lit a fire under your feet once Reba — a country music icon — recorded some of your songs, and that, I think, happened early in your career. Well, it’s funny that you would say “early.” I had been in the game of writing songs and been around Nashville for over 15 years at that point. When that happened, it started to feel like my ship was coming in.

So you’d been working toward this for many years before you actually released your debut album 12 Stories in 2013. I’ve been in Nashville for 22 years, I think. So really it’s only been in the last seven years that I’ve had an artist career, and before that I was toiling away as a staff song-

Qsaltlake.com |

writer. All of it kind of happened at once.

I mentioned Shane and some other people, and some people who are creatively like-minded, and things started to happen for that group of people that I was in, and I don’t think that was an accident. I think everybody in there had been working a long time and (when they) met, little fires started popping up everywhere, like that new book. Reba had cut another song of mine and it fell off the album, which meant it didn’t make the album, so when she did All the Women I Am (in 2010) and I had two cuts on that I thought, “This can happen.” It was a real turning point, and then right when that was happening I had the opportunity to make 12 Stories.

Apparently you grew up just a couple of hours away from another out gay artist with your first name: Brandi Carlile. Is there ever going to be a duet? Do you guys talk? Do you guys go to gay bars together?

(Laughs.) We’ve never gone to a gay bar together. Absolutely love the other Brandi. We’ve done some shows together, and I was going to get her to sing on my record and it just didn’t pan out. There was a song I was going to do that I didn’t do that I was going to have her do with me. Maybe next time that will work out.

But I thought it would be really cool because it was a part that typically a man would’ve sung. I thought it’d be great to have Brandi on this.

After listening to this album, it’s clear you like to challenge gender norms. On “Who You Thought I Was,” you sing about being a kid and pretending to be Elvis and not a cowgirl but a cowboy. It’s very funny you would mention that. I actually have my manager to thank for that. And at the time it seemed like a small thing, but it’s such a big thing. So right before I went in to make this record I was going back through my catalog and listening to everything, and I had written that song “Who You Thought” with Jonathan Singleton and Jessie Jo Dillon. Jonathan’s a great singer and he sang the demo, so I always thought of it as a guy song, but I loved it. And so I said to my manager, “I wanna play you this and it’s probably not right but I just don’t want to miss anything.” And she was like, “Brandy, you have to record this song.” And she’s like, “Don’t change it to ‘cowgirl’ and don’t change the Elvis thing,” and I said, “Oh. I hadn’t even thought about it.” She said,

ISSUE 304 | SEPTEMBER 19, 2019

“It’s way more badass if you don’t.”

It reads as queer to me. I love it. Reads as queer — I like that!

Do you find people in the LGBTQ community expect you to be more political than you are because you’re a lesbian and there’s so much happening that is directly affecting the community? I don’t know what people expect of me. I’m not a real political person, and I’m not even necessarily that proud to say that. I’m just not.

I mean, I vote. The way I lean would not shock anyone (laughs). But I just … I never get into it. Maybe I should more. Maybe that’s something I should do more of.

I will say one thing: When I was growing up I didn’t see a lesbian that looked like me and that was part of my hang up.

I don’t have short hair, not that there’s anything wrong with short hair. If I had different features, I’d wear it and wear it proudly, but I can’t. And so I do think I represent a kind of lesbian that maybe somebody growin’ up is like, “Oh, OK, well, I could see myself like her.”

I can’t wait for the time, and I think we’re moving toward it, that being gay or lesbian is not such a big deal. I see with my nephews, it’s not. And we’ve had to pave that way, by the way. It’s way easier for us than it was even 10 years ago. But I really do look forward to a time where, like with country music, it wouldn’t be a big deal for a male singer to be gay because I haven’t seen that.

Is it easier for a lesbian to be a country star? It is.

Why do you think that might be? I don’t know, but I can tell you this: When I met Shane McAnally I drew a lot of strength from him. He wasn’t the only guy I knew who is gay who writes songs, but he was the one I knew the best at the time. I was out but I wasn’t super loud about it, but when I met him and we started working together I thought, “This is so much easier for me than it is for him. So, by god, I’m just gonna be who I am.” And I don’t know why that is. I really don’t. But I’d love to see it. Because I think if we see a (a major) gay male country singer, it would change a lot of people’s minds. Q As editor of Q Syndicate, Chris Azzopardi has interviewed a multitude of superstars, including Cher, Meryl Streep, Mariah Carey and Beyoncé. His work has also appeared in The New York Times, Vanity Fair, GQ and Billboard. Reach him via Twitter @chrisazzopardi.

SEPTEMBER 19, 2019 |

Q&A | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 25

ISSUE 304 | Qsaltlake.com

To celebrate 32 years in business mention this ad and enjoy $32 off your visit with us

You’ve known us since 1988 as the premier ‘Independent’ dealer alternative for Mercedes and BMW repair.

We are excited to announce we’ve

expanded our service department and now service all European cars and Sprinters

• Service, Repair, Parts, Tires • Complete Pre-Owned Sales Dept.

• Professional Detailing

• Bosch Car Service Center • Family Owned and Operated • Best Warranty in Town: 3 year / 36,000 miles on most repairs

WERNER’S EUROPEAN AUTO

3113 S. West Temple, SLC UT, 84115 • (801) 467-8220 • www.WernersMercedes.com

26 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | Q&A

Qsaltlake.com |

ISSUE 304 | SEPTEMBER 19, 2019

Wilson Cruz knows the power in storytelling

Visible exec producer talks new LGBTQ docuseries, his groundbreaking gay teen role and what he’d tell his younger self

BY CHRIS AZZOPARDI

The first openly gay actor to play an openly gay series regular in a leading role on TV, Wilson Cruz has witnessed firsthand the changing tides of TV representation. Cruz paved the way for shows such as Will & Grace and Ellen with his portrayal of Rickie Vasquez, the troubled gay Latino high schooler on the teen drama My So-Called Life, which ran for one season in 1994.

Cruz was 21 when he played Rickie.

Now 46, the actor reflects on the role as one of the interviewees in the new Apple TV+ five-part documentary, Visible: Out on Television, which, along with Wanda Sykes, he also executive produced. Emmy-nominated filmmakers Ryan White and Jessica Hargrave directed the series.

Through a wide range of archival footage and interviews with actors, journalists and activists, the docuseries investigates how TV has shaped the American conscience. During it, Cruz recalls auditioning for My So-Called Life and turning back to late veteran casting director, Mary Goldberg, and telling her: “I don’t know if I’m ever going to see you again, but please tell whoever wrote this that it means a lot to me, that it would have made a difference if I had seen this when I was 15.”

Then, as Goldberg replied, the twist he didn’t see coming: “Don’t worry,” she said, “you’re going to be able to tell it yourself.”

Here, Cruz talks about the docuseries’ evolution, Rickie as his own personal catharsis, and his issue with studios casting straight actors to play gay as awards bait.

How did you get involved with Visible? Seven years ago [political activist and Visible producer] David Bender, who had been working on this project for many years, reached out to me because he was interested in interviewing me for the documentary, for obvious reasons (laughs). We had a long lunch and it became pretty clear really quickly that I had a passion for this subject matter, but also that I had access to many of the people he wanted to interview just because of the nature of my career and my relationship with GLAAD for over a decade, and so I could be very helpful to him. That’s how it happened.

SEPTEMBER 19, 2019 |

ISSUE 304 | Qsaltlake.com

Eventually we interviewed 60 people on our own, and it became clear that this was going to be more than two hours and that we were going to need some help.

We came to Apple and Apple brought on two amazing documentary filmmakers, Ryan White and Jessica Hargrave, in order to finish the film and really mold it. Then I came back on to help them continue to bring them who they needed to speak to, and also to make sure that we always had an eye on this not just being a documentary about the LGBTQ movement but really about how television was used as an agent of change by the movement.

How do you think Visible broadens the historical perspective of the LGBTQ experience? I think that there’s a lot that we forget just because that’s the nature of the human experience. But what the series does really well is to remind us of what happened just within some of our own lifetimes — that, yes, we have come a long way and a lot of work went into getting us here. A lot of people risked a lot in order to have this conversation.

It wasn’t just LGBTQ people — it was LGBTQ people and the people who love them who took up the baton when we were unable to, when we weren’t being hired to tell our own stories or we were afraid to come out and be public about it.

We needed people who were willing to take on those roles.

More recently, we forget that the way the network news was talking about HIV and AIDS during the height of the epidemic was incredibly problematic, and that the only people who were going to save us at that time was us. That’s when GLAAD was created. That’s when ACT UP was created. It was this community that really started to say, “If you’re not gonna save our lives, we’re gonna have to save them ourselves and we’re going to have to demand that we be seen.” We could no longer afford at that time to be invisible and that’s where visibility started to really begin in earnest.

In the doc, you talk about how playing Rickie helped you reconcile with your father. Your experience with him — being kicked out of the house after you came out to him — was written into Rickie’s story, and he watched that storyline play out.

How did that moment illustrate to you

the power TV can have? I talk all the time about how television is an intimate medium: We are in your bedroom, we are in your living room; we come into your homes and you invite us in and we tell you our stories. In my personal experience, it was an invitation to my father to see me because Rickie Vasquez was very much who I was when I was a teenager, and his life parallels mine in many ways.

My father and I didn’t speak for a year, but within that year he was able to turn on the television and I was able to have a conversation with him that I couldn’t have physically and he learned a lot about me and about what my life had been like.

He was moved to a new place and it gave him permission to reach out to me, and I have that series and that character to thank for the supportive father that I have today. That’s no overstatement. So it is a testament to the intimacy of television and the power of storytelling.

Looking at the work that you’ve taken on, from Noah’s Arc on through Star Trek: Discovery, the transformative power of representation seems to be something you still believe in. Whenever I take a project on, one of the first things I ask myself is, “What is the message that this is going to leave an audience member with? What are we offering through this?” The other thing that it is for me is that so many actors are like, “Oh, I don’t want to play too many gay roles (laughs) because I just don’t want my career to be about that.”

Whereas I have gone out of my way to look for roles that I feel will add to the conversation. I’ve wanted to have those opportunities.

Why do you think that is when so many other actors go in the other direction? Because, with the first role I had on My So-Called Life as Rickie, I got to see how powerful that story could be and I wanted to continue to tell stories like that, and I felt like there were few people who were willing and excited to take on those roles and here I was.

As for your part in Hulu’s The Bravest Knight, the first children’s animated series to have openly gay characters, what about that spoke to you? My brother who’s also openly gay and married to his husband had just had a baby or was pregnant when they approached me to do The

Q&A | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 27

Bravest Knight. I thought it was a great opportunity for me to give a little gift to my nephew. On top of that, I think there aren’t enough children’s programs that depict families like the one we do on The Bravest Knight, because there are thousands of LGBTQ families in this country who would love to see their lives reflected back at them and their children so they know they’re not alone and that their families are just as valuable as anybody else’s.

Have you been able to gauge what it means to Star Trek fans to have a more LGBTQ-inclusive Star Trek? Yes. For 52 years people have been clamoring for real LGBTQ representation on Star Trek, and to be a part of the couple who actually gives that to an audience is overwhelming. People reach out to us all the time, and I’m excited for people to see season three because we’re expanding it in a very special way.

In a very special gay way? That’s all I’m gonna say. (Laughs.) I want to keep my job! But there is a lot to look forward to in season three for LGBTQ fans, that’s for sure.

You’ve known Anthony Rapp since Rent.

Rapp originated the role of Mark Cohen on Broadway, and you later joined as Angel Dumott Schunard. What’s been the best part about getting to work with Anthony, who plays your lover in Star Trek, all these years? Well, first of all, he’s one of the most supportive actors that I’ve ever worked with. We are a team, we are a unit. But the best thing about working with him is that, because we find this couple in the middle of their relationship, there was very little work we had to do in order to get to know each other.

We brought with us a 22-year history of friendship, and so I feel like it comes across on screen that these two people know each other and genuinely love each other, because we do.

Since you’re both gay men playing gay men on Star Trek, I wonder: Do you think LGBTQ roles should go to exclusively LGBTQ actors? No, I’m not going to say that we should only be the ones allowed to play them. But I will say that I think what an LGBTQ actor brings to an LGBTQ role is different; there’s just something innate and lived-in that comes

28 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | Q&A

across, but that’s not to say that a straight actor cannot give a powerful performance. What is worrisome to me is when a production will hire a straight actor to play that role because of some notion that because they’re a straight actor that it’s that much more difficult to take on this role. So it’s awards bait. These are our lives. These are experiences for a lot of people. And if you’re a straight actor playing these roles, I think it’s important that you acknowledge and understand that.

I will say that in terms of trans actors playing trans roles, I think that is incredibly important because there are so many trans actors out there who are just waiting for the opportunity to be able to tell their own stories. Especially in terms of trans people of color and trans women of color and trans men of color, we need to see more of them.

In the doc, actor Ryan Phillippe, who played a groundbreaking gay character on One Life to Live, reads a letter from someone changed by his character. Where do you keep the letters you’ve received? Well,

Qsaltlake.com |

seeing how I live out of a suitcase these days (laughs) … actually, I don’t have a lot of the stuff from the old days anymore.

I have to tell you that most of the young people who watched My So-Called Life back in the day didn’t really reach out to me until years later when I would see them out publicly and in person, when they were adults, because so many people were processing their own stuff when that aired. But the onslaught (laughs) and the daily messages I received from people who felt and feel it necessary to reach out to me to tell me how powerful it was for them is very real. It happens almost daily on social media. It’s just a trail of tears.

When was the last time you revisited episodes of My So-Called Life? It’s been a while. I think it’s hard for me to watch myself, and I think the last time I watched it was about 10 years ago with my brother at home, but I think that was it.

I ask because I’ve noticed that Rickie is so embedded in your identity that you get choked up just talking about him. What

ISSUE 304 | SEPTEMBER 19, 2019

about him gets you emotional even now?

(Sighs.) I think what’s important to me about it is he was a way for me to process my adolescence, which wasn’t easy. I think that’s probably why I haven’t watched it too, because when I did it I literally saw it as a way to walk through those experiences again and leave them there on that stage and then be able to walk away from them and move on. But for me, when I think about him, and if I do see an episode every now and then, it’s visiting your teenage self. You just want to hug them. You just want to say to them, “It’s going to be all right.” And I just want to grab him and say, “I’m gonna be fine.”

But he does — he means everything to me because without him none of this would have happened. He set the trajectory for my career and also gave me my life’s passion of making sure our stories are told, and part of his legacy is Visible. Q As editor of Q Syndicate, Chris Azzopardi has interviewed a multitude of superstars, including Cher, Meryl Streep, Mariah Carey and Beyoncé. His work has also appeared in The New York Times, Vanity Fair, GQ and Billboard. Reach him via Twitter @chrisazzopardi.

SEPTEMBER 19, 2019 |

Q&A | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 29

ISSUE 304 | Qsaltlake.com

Two Mormon missionaries knock on the door of Ethel Merman and... do you need a better setup than that?!

June 11–28

2 4 0 4 WA L L AV E , O G D E N

|

8 01- 917- 4 9 6 9

|

G O O D CO T H E AT R E .CO M

30 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | COMICS

Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 310 | April, 2020

PUZZLES | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 31

April, 2020 | ISSUE 310 | Qsaltlake.com

The Purpose of Homosexuality

Each Sudoku puzzle has a unique solution which can be reached logically without guessing. Enter digits 1 through 9 into the blank spaces. Every row must contain one of each digit, as must each column and each 3x3 square. Qdoku

Q doku Level: Medium

7 1 8 2

5

5 9 1

8 9 5 1 1 6

5 6

8

1

5 2 8

4

3

9 7

9 3 5

3

2

4

5 7 4 1 9 5 1 9 4 6 4 7 1 1 3

3 9 1

9

6 4 6 5 9 4 9 1 3 6 3 8 4 5 3 7 9 9 6 3 7 3 5 1 9 7 8 2 6 2 1 6

2 1 8

4 5

3

6 4 7 5

2

7

1

3 4 5 5 4 8 7

5

9

1 3 5

4

3

5 4 3 7 6

8 7 2 4 3 6 8 2 1 5

41 Cocksure Aesop character 42 Composer Copland 43 More of the purACROSS pose 1 Chef Des Jardins 47 Queens in Las Vegas 6 Shuttlecock 48 Essen exclamation 10 Tops cakes 49 TV spots 14 Quinn of Practical 52 Baum’s good witch Magic 54 End of the purpose 15 Personal lubricant 56 WKRP actress ingredient Anderson 16 South Park cocreator 57 Poet Kitty Stone 59 Remarkable hole 17 Public spectacle 60 Quiche ingredients 18 Boys Don’t Cry char- 61 Make money acter 62 Pirate’s stash 19 Ask for it while 63 Enjoy an Oreo kneeling 64 Nemesis of Tinker20 Start of the purpose bell of homosexuality, 65 Return key on a PC per 58-Down DOWN 22 Sequence of un1 Queer Eye discernknown length ment 24 Suffix with profit 2 Nouveau ___ 25 Dickinson’s howe’er 3 Maria’s “Do” equiva26 Words of empathy lent 27 More of the pur4 Relief of Lincoln pose 5 Staying power?

31 Mapplethorpe’s 6 Weapon to use “Dark ___ Rose” against Trump in 34 Steed stopper November 35 In Cold Blood writer, 7 “Now ___ me down informally to sleep ...”

36 “Take a crack ___” 8 Political analyst 37 Bugs or Erin Reagan 39 One with a foamy 9 Clark Kent portrayer on TV head 10 Tainted 40 Went down on PUZZLE SOLUTIONS ON PAGE 22

11 “Top of the World” singer Karen 12 It comes at the bottom of a list 13 Lid problem 21 TV trigram 23 Mountain pool 26 It comes out of your head 27 “Scram!” to Gomer 28 Goofed up 29 Bite it 30 Alternative to “Go straight” 31 Swedish import 32 Caesar’s invite to a threesome?

33 Navel adornments 37 The guys you’re seeing?

38 Unrefined metals 39 Ebenezer’s exclamation 41 Bunch of stallions 42 Button or Bean 44 Like Hans Christian Andersen 45 Polynesian woman 46 Here to Rimbaud 49 Inside tongue?

50 Dig (into) 51 Look from Snidely 52 One side of Ed Wood 53 HRC’s equal sign 54 Treat meat 55 “Nuts!”

58 Composer/lyricist Austin

32 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | MARKETPLACE

Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 310 | April, 2020

marketplace

Pride Counseling

AC C O U N TA N T S

Your local professional bookkeeping, payroll, and tax preparation experts

• Support Groups • Holistic Approach • Build Intimacy & Trust • Explore Spiritual Options • Strengthen Relationships • Transgender Issues

CONSIGNMENT

SHOP NEW

CONSIGNMENT AND SO MUCH MORE! 66 S MAIN ST, BOUNTIFUL

801-299-1515

accounting services

Jerry Buie MSW, LCSW

801.595.0666 Office 801.557.9203 Cell 1174 E Graystone Way, Suite 20-E JerryBuie@mac.com WWW.PRIDECOUNSELING.TV

OPEN TUES–FRI 10AM–6PM SAT 10AM–4PM M AINSTEMPORIUM.COM

801-455-6683 – info@digitsas.com

M MAINSTEMPORIUM P 66SOUTHMAIN

BARBER

COUNSELORS

Embracing the health & resilience of our community C AT E R I N G

WEDDINGS & CATERING

• 12 MONTHS OF MARKETPLACE ADS IN QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE • 12 MONTHS ON QPAGES.COM • 1 MILLION VIEWS ON QSALTLAKE.COM

We tailor everything to fit your event from a beautiful venue to delectable food

ONE LOW PRICE

ANNUAL: $500 | 6-MONTH BILLING: $275* | QUARTERLY BILLING $150* * 12-MONTH COMMITMENT, CREDIT CARD ON FILE REQUIRED.

COUNSELORS

ADVANCED awareness COUNSELING Proudly gender affirming and supporting

CALL: 801-610-4110 OR VISIT: UTAHCATERING.COM

advancedawarenesscounseling.com 9140 S State St Ste 202

CLEANING

DOCTORS

408-375-3311

801-997-9763 SALES@QSALTLAKE.COM Aimee Steinly, Dr. of Nursing Practice Anal HPV Specialist 801-263-1621

utahcolonandrectal.com

7 5 3 9 4 2 8 6 1

1 6 4 8 7 3 9 5 2

6 1 2 8 5 9 4 7 3

9 7 8 4 3 2 1 5 6

9 2 8 6 1 5 7 4 3 5 3 4 6 7 1 9 2 8

5 8 7 4 6 1 2 3 9 4 2 5 1 9 3 6 8 7

4 3 1 2 9 8 5 7 6 8 9 1 7 6 5 3 4 2

6 9 2 5 3 7 4 1 8 7 6 3 2 8 4 5 9 1

2 5 6 9 1 8 7 3 4 6 2 9 8 1 5 3 2 4 6 9 7

1 4 9 3 2 7 8 6 5 3 1 4 2 7 9 1 5 6 3 8 4

3 8 7 5 4 6 2 1 9 7 5 8 3 4 6 7 8 9 1 2 5

9 4 7 5 3 1 6 8 2

3 2 1 8 4 6 5 9 7

6 5 8 9 7 2 4 3 1

9 1 5 2 6 8 4 7 3 2 9 5 1 6 8 4 9 2 5 7 3

7 2 8 3 1 4 5 9 6 1 8 3 7 2 4 5 3 1 8 9 6

3 4 6 7 9 5 1 8 2 4 6 7 9 5 3 6 8 7 1 4 2

4 8 9 2 5 3 7 6 1

2 7 5 1 4 6 9 3 8

8 9 4 1 5 6 3 2 7

5 3 1 8 2 7 6 4 9

6 3 1 9 7 8 2 5 4 2 6 7 4 3 9 8 1 5

8 9 7 3 2 4 6 1 5 6 7 9 5 4 1 2 3 8

3 1 2 7 6 5 4 8 9 4 5 2 9 8 3 7 6 1

5 4 6 8 1 9 3 2 7 1 8 3 6 7 2 9 5 4

MARKETPLACE | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 33

April, 2020 | ISSUE 310 | Qsaltlake.com

marketplace

F I N A N C I A L A DV I S O R

M O R T G AG E S / L OA N S

Making customers happy since 1984!

A place of mutual respect & an individualized approach Hans Heath, CFEd ® Partner / Financial Planner He / They / Them Direct 801-410-0739 info@LGBTFinancial.org

Christine Cardamon 801-298-9400

ccardamon@s1lending.com / NMLS# 1370848

GREEN

Synergy One Lending a Mutual of Omaha Bank Company

LGBTFINANCIAL.ORG

christinecardamon.s1lending.com

HAIR SALON

S PA N I S H C L A S S E S

hair

Robert Moody

at Image Studios Draper 177 W 12300 S

801-688-3118

L AW Y E R S

SPANISH

TUTORING ONE-ON-ONE OR TWO

801-308-2050

Private classes, your place or mine. Learn at your own pace.

www.jonjepsen.com

spanishnow.corsizio.com

801·609·4332 T R AV E L

LOKKEN & ASSOCIATES 801-359-8003 6740 S 1300 E • Salt Lake City www.L2LAW.com

You Can Control Your Legal Costs We Specialize in Criminal & Family Law Divorce Annulment Alimony Paternity Custody & Visitation Adoption Criminal

Felonies Misdemeanors DUI Juvenile Courts Protective Orders Wills and Trusts Name Changes

M A S S AG E

Aloha BODYWORKS Troy Hunter, LMT

801.455.2497

WEDDING SERVICE S

TYING THE KNOT? Know who WANTS your business and will treat you with the DIGNITY and RESPECT you deserve

G U R U

V A P E • Largest selection of GLASS and accessories

• 50+ national brands of E-JUICES, MODS, & accessories • THE top quality KRATOM & variety of CBD products • Dry herb and concentrate vaporizers 1350 S STATE ST SALT LAKE CITY UT 84115

801.953.1350

M @smokersguru [ @smokersguru2

34 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | QMMUNITY

Qmmunity Groups BUSINESS

LGBTQ-Affirmative Psycho-therapists Guild of Utah  lgbtqtherapists.com * jim@lgbtqtherapists.com Utah Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce  utahgaychamber.com * info@utahgaychamber.com LGBT & Allied Lawyers of Utah  lgbtutahlawyers.com * lgbtutahlawyers@gmail.com Utah Independent Business Coalition  utahindependentbusiness.org 801-879-4928 DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233 YWCA of Salt Lake  ywca.org/saltlakecity 322 E 300 S 801-537-8600 HEALTH & HIV

Peer Support for Mental Illness — PSMI Thurs 7pm, Utah Pride Ctr Planned Parenthood 654 S 900 E 800-230-PLAN Salt Lake County Health Dept HIV/STD Clinic 660 S 200 E, 4th Floor Walk-ins M–F 10a–4p Appts 385-468-4242 Utah AIDS Foundation  utahaids.org * mail@utahaids.org 1408 S 1100 E 801-487-2323

Weber-Morgan Health Mon., Weds 1-4:30p 477 23rd St, Ogden Appt 801-399-7250 HOMELESS SVCS

VOA Homeless Youth Resource Ctr, ages 15–21 880 S 400 W 801-364-0744 Transition Homes: Young Men’s 801-433-1713 Young Women’s 801-359-5545 LEGAL

Rainbow Law Free Clinic 2nd Thurs 6:30–7:30pm UofU Law School, 383 S University St POLITICAL

Equality Utah  equalityutah.org * info@equalityutah.org 175 W 200 S, Ste 1004 801-355-3479 Utah Libertarian Party 6885 S State St #200 888-957-8824 Utah Log Cabin Republicans  bit.ly/logcabinutah 801-657-9611 Utah Stonewall Democrats  utahstonewalldemocrats.org  fb.me/ utahstonewalldems RELIGIOUS

First Baptist Church  firstbaptist-slc.org * office@firstbaptistslc.org 11a Sundays 777 S 1300 E 801-582-4921 Sacred Light of Christ  slcchurch.org 823 S 600 E 801-595-0052 11a Sundays

Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 310 | April, 2020

Wasatch Metropolitan Community Church  wasatchmcc.org 801-889-8764 Sundays except the 2nd Sunday, 11:15a at Crone’s Hollow, 3834 S. Main SOCIAL

1 to 5 Club (bisexual)  fb.me/1to5ClubUtah  1to5club@

utahpridecenter.org

Alternative Garden Club  bit.ly/altgarden * altgardenclub@gmail.com blackBOARD Men’s Kink/Sex/BDSM education, 1st, 3rd Mons.  blackbootsslc.org blackBOOTS Kink/BDSM Men’s leather/kink/ fetish/BDSM 4th Sats.  blackbootsslc.org Gay Writes writing group, DiverseCity 6:30 pm 2nd, 4th Mondays, Community Writing Ctr, 210 E 400 S Men Who Move  menwhomove.org OWLS of Utah (Older, Wiser, Lesbian. Sisters)  bit.ly/owlsutah qVinum Wine Tasting  qvinum.com Sage Utah, Seniors  fb.me/sageutah  sageutah@ utahpridecenter.org 801-557-9203 Temple Squares Square Dance Club  templesquares.org 801-449-1293 Utah Bears  utahbears.com  fb.me/utahbears  info@utahbears.com

Weds 6pm Raw Bean Coffee, 611 W Temple Utah Male Naturists  umen.org  info@umen.org Utah Pride Center  utahpridecenter.org  info@utahpridecenter.org 1380 S Main St 801-539-8800 Venture OUT Utah  bit.ly/GetOutsideUtah SPORTS

QUAC — Queer Utah Aquatic Club  quacquac.org  questions@ quacquac.org Salt Lake Goodtime Bowling League  bit.ly/slgoodtime Stonewall Sports SLC  fb.me/SLCStonewall  stonewallsaltlakecity. leagueapps.com 385-243-1828 Utah Gay Football League  UtahGayFootballLeague.com  fb.me/UtahGayFootballLeague Venture Out Utah  facebook.com/groups/ Venture.OUT.Utah SUPPORT

Alcoholics Anonymous 801-484-7871  utahaa.org LGBT meetings: Sun. 3p Acceptance Group, UPC,1380 S Main Tues. 8:15p Live & Let Live, Mt Tabor Lutheran, 175 S 700 E Wed. 7p Sober Today, 375 Harrison Blvd, Ogden Fri. 8p Stonewall Group, Mt Tabor Lutheran, 175 S 700 E

Crystal Meth Anon  crystalmeth.org Sun. 1:30pm Clean, Sober & Proud LGBTQIA+Straight USARA, 180 E 2100 S LifeRing Secular Recovery 801-608-8146  liferingutah.org Sun. 10am Univ. Neuropsychiatric Institute, 501 Chipeta Way #1566 Thurs. 7pm, USARA, 180 E 2100 S, #100 Sat. 11am, First Baptist Church, 777 S 1300 E Men’s Support Group  utahpridecenter. org/programs/lgbtqadults/  joshuabravo@ utahpridecenter.org Survivors of Suicide Attempt  bit.ly/upc_sosa  sosa@ utahpridecenter.org Trans Adult Support  utahpridecenter.org/ programs/lgbtq-adults/  lanegardinier@ utahpridecenter.org TransAction  utahpridecenter.org/ programs/transaction/ Sundays 2–3:30pm Women’s Support Group  utahpridecenter.org/ programs/lgbtq-adults/  mariananibley@ utahpridecenter.org Youth Support Group ages 10-14, 14-20  utahpridecenter. org/programs/youthfamily-programs/

Youth Survivors of Suicide Attempt  utahpridecenter.org/ programs/youth-familyprograms/  youthsosa@ utahpridecenter.org YOUTH/COLLEGE

Encircle LGBTQ Family and Youth Resource Ctr  encircletogether.org fb.me/encircletogether 91 W 200 S, Provo, 331 S 600 E, SLC Families Like Ours (ages 2-10)  utahpridecenter.org/ programs/youth-familyprograms/ Gay-Straight Alliance Network  gsanetwork.org Salt Lake Community College LGBTQ+ 8 slcc.edu/lgbtq/ University of Utah LGBT Resource Center 8 lgbt.utah.edu 200 S Central Campus Dr Rm 409 801-587-7973 USGA at BYU  usgabyu.com  fb.me/UsgaAtByu Utah State Univ. Access & Diversity Ctr  inclusion.usu.edu/ lgbtqa Utah Valley Univ Spectrum  facebook.com/ groups/uvuspectrum Weber State University LGBT Resource Center  weber.edu/ lgbtresourcecenter 801-626-7271 Youth Activity Night ages 10-14, 14-20  utahpridecenter.org/ programs/youth-familyprograms/

Only the Highest quality CBD products from AceWellness!

We guarantee highest quality, most competitive pricing on CBD products — Softgels, Oils, Skin Care, Vape Pens & More!

OUT U.S. OLYMPIC MEN’S SLOPESTYLE SILVER MEDALIST GUS KENWORTHY

umen.org

Discount Code: PRINT20

1-855-681-3113

BOOK REVIEW | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 35

April, 2020 | ISSUE 310 | Qsaltlake.com

the bookworm sez What’s Your Pronoun?

Beyond He & She REVIEW BY TERRI SCHLICHENMEYER

BY DENNIS BARON (HE / HIM / HIS) C. 2020, LIVERIGHT, $25.95 / 304 PAGES

Words can never hurt you.

Even as a child, that last half of the retort to playground taunts never made sense to you. Of course, sticks and stones broke bones but even then, you knew that there’s no sharper weapon than a word said in anger or misunderstanding. In the new book “What’s Your Pronoun?”

by Dennis Baron, you’ll see that some of those weapons go way back.

Language is a funny thing.

Words hurt, they sooth, and in today’s world, a “pronoun

q scopes APRIL

BY SAM KELLEY-MILLS

ARIES March 20–April 19

No one is coming to save you so take matters into your own hands. The longer you pamper yourself, the better you will feel. Take a chance with a new friend or rekindle an old friendship that has fallen through the cracks. Enjoy your alone time but don’t take the whole world for granted.

TAURUS Apr 20–May 20

Adopt a new hobby or join a club that suits your fancy.

Everything you’ve wanted is possible but you have to work for it. The big surprise is how easy the work can be when interest exists. A business or work matter is driving you nuts so pay attention to your mental health. Clear your mind and heart.

GEMINI May 21–June 20

It’s not easy being you sometimes, but it’s just as difficult dealing with others. An associate or family member is being a nag lately so be sure to stand up for yourself. The

without sex is… sexy.” We ask ourselves, and others, which ones to use as “an invitation to declare, to honor, or to reject, not just a pronoun, but a gender identity.”

Generally, though, and until relatively recently, “he” was the default pronoun used by many to indicate both masculine and undeclared gender. As far back as 1792, neutral “he” was thought to be confusing, however; one writer even suggested that “one” might work better than “he” to indicate gender neutral.

“They” was brought up for consideration in 1794.

A century later, and with mostly men controlling law and business, “he” was firmly the pronoun of choice, and it had become politicized; when women protested that “he” clearly didn’t include them, lawmakers stated that “he” also implied “she.” Women countered that if “he” could hold office, then it was implied that “she” could, too, and, well,

you can imagine the arguments — not to mention the injustice of three masculine pronouns (he, his, him) but just two for the feminine (she, her)! Oh, the scandal of it all!

Through the decades, other words have been suggested (zie, hir, thon) to indicate gender-neutral or unknown but none have seemed to stick.

Many felt that there simply was no good way to signify neither male or female, or a separation of gender-neutral and nonbinary, and some bemoaned the lack of a “missing word” that was easily understandable. Says Baron, though, in sifting through the possibilities, we’ve had the word all along…

Sometimes, as author Dennis Baron points out in his introduction, people today offer their preferred pronoun without being asked, so ubiquitous is the question. Still, we sometimes struggle with the right word, but in “What’s Your Pronoun?” he offers a

best kind of defense is a good attitude.

Things do have to blow once in a while so be sure to aim your explosions strategically.

to tag along with someone who can help with the good times. It is time to lighten up.

CANCER June 21–July 22

Jitters are normal when dealing with someone you really like. Channel that energy into showing this person how you feel and a good development might come as a result. It could be a game-changer in how you live life. You might find your desires are based more on imagination than reality.

LEO July 23–August 22

Work and business matters don’t always provide a boost to your ego. When things aren’t going your way, it serves to remind how much you want to matter. Be a shining example to others and appreciation will follow. Finding a good way to show off what you can do will provide nice growth.

VIRGO August 23–Sep. 2 A little dark space in your heart seems to be growing. Find something that provides a safe haven of joy in the form of activity or fun. A circle of friends will be there for you but it requires a request. Don’t be afraid

LIBRA Sept 23–October 22

solution of which readers may be skeptical.

First, though, it’s true that this etymological history is a good read, especially for word nerds. It’s not college-lecture level; Baron writes with a lighter hand and doesn’t preach, and the occasional threads that spring from the stories here are explored appropriately and in an inviting way that displays no drudgery. It’s like sitting down at a workshop you’ve eagerly anticipated, and being more delighted than you hoped you’d be.

And yet, there is such a thing as information overload, and the obvious solution isn’t so obvious. Proof is at the end of the book, in which we see more than two centuries of verbal wrangling.

So: em, thon, zier, they? We haven’t heard the end of it, but maybe we’re close; certainly, reading “What’s Your Pronoun?” couldn’t hurt. Q for a while. Do the best and life can be quite rewarding.

CAPRICORN Dec 21–Jan 19

The struggle is real in terms of a personal matter. Desires have you on edge and it’s time to really make a choice regarding a relationship matter. Someone you love is feeling neglected but a little bit of attention will go a long way. Find a way to balance everything you want and harmony will follow.

Dive deep into a mindset that makes a difference. A newfound love for intimacy is bound to open some other ideas. Be creative and make some great projects come to life. While it might seem like a long time coming, it’s never too late to start over. The best way to reinvent yourself is to create.

SCORPIO Oct. 23–Nov. 21

Get your finances in order and don’t spend time or money on people who don’t deserve it. While it might be a good feeling to give, receiving can be equally as rewarding. Find a way to have your cake and eat it too. In the end, learning how to be grateful is a lesson in being truly versatile.

Being practical is something for other people. Or so you might believe. In truth, having a clear set of rules is very important to you, and finding out what works would be a good idea. A new set of challenges will test your patience. Don’t be afraid to teach others how to treat you right now.

SAGITTARIUS

Nov. 22–December 20.

Keep clear of a conflict that doesn’t concern you. A couple or group may try to rope you in, but you should stay on the sidelines until the dust clears. A goal you are hoping to accomplish should be the focus, especially if you’ve had it on your mind

AQUARIUS Jan. 20–Feb. 18

PISCES Feb 19–Mar 19

What is actually happening with a confusing personal matter could become clear this month.

The need to control everything is not the main goal, but the clarity will provide much-needed comfort. Take this newfound freedom and get yourself into a position of power. Good change is coming soon. Q

36 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | SEX

Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 310 | April, 2020

sex and salt lake city

Erectile challenge

BY DR. LAURIE BENNETT-COOK

I just

got a call from my boyfriend who wanted to let me know he’s had a stressful few days. Turns out, while I’ve been traveling, he’s been in the emergency room with symptoms that led to a diagnosis of high blood pressure.

Recently he’s been struggling with erections. He’d stress about it and say it’s because he’s getting older; he’s tired; he’s stressed at work, etc.

While the less potent erections didn’t send him running to the ER, the headaches, heart palpitations and shortness of breath did.

Erectile dysfunction is something that most people with penises (PWP) do not want to experience. Usually, along with the diagnosis, can come a lot of stigmas that many find worse than the problem itself. Unfortunately, it is all too common.

Most PWP will experience some sort of lack of cooperation with their penis at some point in their life. Because it is something that most will experience — lets right now stop calling it a “dysfunction” and switch to “Erectile Challenge.” (EC) High Blood Pressure is just one health concern that can

lead one to experience EC. For many people, experiencing EC can be a first sign that their blood pressure may be high. When arteries become clogged, blood flow is restricted to many parts of the body, including the penis.

This can create an inability for one to maintain, or sometimes even obtain, an erection. When blood pressure cannot be lowered through diet and exercise, medications for lowering blood pressure may be prescribed. Unfortunately, many of the most common drugs for lowering blood pressure also list EC as a side effect.

Some of the most commonly used medications for high blood pressure include water pills (also known as diuretics).

By decreasing forceful blood flow, achieving an erection can become difficult. Additionally, they can deplete zinc in the body. Zinc is necessary to create testosterone, which is a primary sex hormone.

So here we have a person with high blood pressure.

Because of their high blood pressure, they’re unable to maintain an erection and therefore struggle with sexual

anxiety and are unable to enjoy being sexual with their partner.

They go to see the doctor to lower blood pressure so they can get back to enjoying a healthy sex life. While the medication may serve to lower their blood pressure and help them feel much better overall, it may also prevent them from having a satisfying sex life.

Unfortunately, it only takes one negative sexual experience to create an anxious state of mind. Once experienced, fears of an inability to form an erection again can cause one to avoid sex all together. We tend to mitigate just how negative of an effect not being sexual can have on a person. These anxieties can cause extra strain on a relationship, and on a person’s well being overall.

So what is one to do?

Be honest with your doctor.

Share your concerns about your sexual dissatisfaction and don’t wait until symptoms send you to the ER. If you feel your doctor isn’t listening, shop around until you find a doctor who will. Remember, they work for you, not the other way around.

There are a few medications that can help to lower blood pressure that do not have erectile side effects but they are not right for everyone.

Discuss with your doctor if any of these medications would be right for you.

These can include ACE inhibitors, alpha-blockers, calcium channel blockers, ARBs Additionally, while it may seem counterintuitive, focus on enjoying sensual pleasure with yourself or a partner without the goal of an erection or orgasm. Many times we can become so focused on the end goal that we forget to find pleasure in the moment.

By focusing on the sensual pleasures that do not include needing an erection, it is easier to relax. There are many ways to enjoy being sexual with a partner that don’t require the use of an erect penis. Don’t underestimate the pleasure that can be experienced manually and/or orally. While anxiety about performance may not completely fall away, it can certainly be reduced.

Many have found seeking out a sexual health professional to be helpful. Thankfully the internet has made it easier to narrow down specialists of all sorts. A sexologist, sex coach, sexological bodyworker, or sexual surrogate may have just the right insight and tools to help you get back to being your full, happy, sexual, self. Q Dr. Laurie Bennett-Cook is a clinical sexologist with a private practice in Salt Lake City and is also the director of Sex Positive Utah, a social group that hosts discussions and workshops on sexuality, gender, relationship configurations, boundaries and consent. She can be reached at DrLaurieBennettCook@gmail.com

CREEP | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 37

April, 2020 | ISSUE 310 | Qsaltlake.com

creep of the week

Iowa House Republicans When I

First-time Exam, Bite-wing X-rays, Cleaning

BY DANNE WITKOWSKI

was in elementary school I was taught that the Mayflower landed at Cape Cod and that’s how the pilgrims (aka the puritans) arrived in America. After this lesson I did not become, nor was I tempted to become 1.) A pilgrim, 2.) A deckhand, 3.) A cod.

But had that lesson included information about gay pilgrims I very well could have become gay just by hearing about it — although not hearing about it certainly didn’t stop me.

That is the logic behind a bill introduced by 13 Republican House members in Iowa that would make schools “notify parents when curriculum or classroom activities include content that relates to sexual orientation or gender identity,” according to the Des Moines Register.

“Not all students, parents or families agree with the viewpoint held by many schools regarding sexual orientation or gender identity issues,” Rep. Sandy Salmon, one of the bill’s sponsors, told the Register. “And they should be allowed to opt out of instruction that contains that.”

But opting out of one specific lesson is a lot different than opting out of every lesson that contains references to sexuality or gender identity. As people have already pointed out, does this mean that a teacher would have to notify parents if they want to name the candidates running for the Democratic presidential nomination because one of those candidates happens to be Pete Buttigieg, a gay? He also won the Iowa

Caucus, but, hey, no need to mention him to Iowa’s students.

According to Salmon, talking about Buttigieg is no big deal, but mentioning that he’s gay is an issue for her.

This is, of course, not the first or the only piece of legislation that seeks to shut LGBTQ people and history out of public schools. And it’s fitting that there’s pretty much 100 percent overlap with the people who demand that if sex ed is taught at all, it must be abstinence only. Because everyone knows that if you teach kids about sex then they’re going to go out and have sex.

Better to just ignore it all and trust that they will just wait until they’re married. So if you teach kids about gays?

“It assumes children can turn gay by suggestion,” Lorilei Baker, a clinical social worker, told WHO-HD News.

Which is, spoiler alert, not how it works.

According to One Iowa, this is only one of many anti-LGBTQ bills introduced by Iowa legislators, saying that five anti-LGBTQ bills were introduced in a 24-hour time span. “[This makes] Iowa a front-runner in anti-LGBTQ legislation at 13 bills this session alone,” One Iowa said in a statement.

“We have to fight this discriminatory agenda to the very end,” the statement input in what children learn “ridiculous.” Q D’Anne Witkowski is a poet, writer and comedian living with her wife and son. Follow her on Twitter @MamaDWitkowski.

Dr Josef Benzon, DDS www.alpenglowdentists.com

Salt Lake 2150 S. Main St 104 801-883-9177

Bountiful 425 S. Medical Dr 211 801-397-5220

New patients only. Limitations and exclusions may apply.

Not valid with any other offers.

To schedule an appointment, please call 801.878.1700 Evening and Saturday Appointments Available Most Insurances Accepted

38 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FRIVOLIST

Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 310 | April, 2020

the frivolist

5 ways to experience Orlando (mostly) for free

BY MIKEY ROX

1. Stroll around Winter Park on a Sunday

2. Hike the Disney Wilderness Preserve

Winter Park, a swanky-ish neighborhood a short drive northeast of downtown Orlando, offers a Sunday Funday’s worth of activities that starts with a farmer’s market where you can snag just-harvested vegetables, fresh-cut flowers, local honey, and more. Afterward, cut through the area’s Central Park, featuring fountains and a rose garden, to stroll along South Park Avenue, where you’ll find a mix of high-end retailers, art galleries and restaurants, some of which offer everybody’s favorite brunch deal — bottomless and BOGO mimosas. Add some culture to your afternoon by visiting the Cornell Fine Arts Museum on the Rollins College campus, where you can enjoy a docent-led tour of the Alfond Inn at no charge; there’s no admission at the museum either. Best of all, abundant free parking is available just west of the Winter Park train station.

While not technically in Orlando, the free-to-visitand-park Disney Wilderness Preserve, in Poinciana (one hour south of the city), is home to more than 1,000 plant and animal species on 11,500 acres. Hikers can enjoy several well-maintained trails that range from an easy halfmile trek around an upper pond to a six-mile hike that covers a large swath of The Nature Conservancy’s land (pack your sunscreen because most of the hike is under open sky). There’s a welcome center with all the information you’ll need to make the most of your time, plus clean restrooms, and plenty of shaded lawn space to practice your bird-watching skills (I spotted a yellow-breasted chat while I was there) and throw out a blanket for a relaxing picnic.

3. Visit the swans at Lake Eola Park There are several features you’ll love at Lake Eola Park, including the Walt Disney

SHOP NEW

CONSIGNMENT AND SO MUCH MORE! 66 S MAIN ST, BOUNTIFUL

801-299-1515

OPEN

TUES–FRI 10AM–6PM

SAT 10AM–4PM

M AINSTEMPORIUM.COM M MAINSTEMPORIUM P 66SOUTHMAIN

Amphitheater (which hosts community events and performances on occasion), a fountain, playground and Chinese pagoda (a nice backdrop for selfies), but what you might be most surprised by is the abundance of gorgeous swans and other waterfowl that call the lake home. When I visited in February, I spotted several duckling families and clusters of eggs in nests, which signify a healthy breeding ground for these birds that can’t be found in many places. Take a lap around the park to enjoy this inner-city gem then pop into World of Beer right off the paved loop for a refreshing pick-me-up.

4. Resort hop at Walt Disney World I’m not a huge fan of Disney (don’t take away my gay card), so my trip to Orlando wasn’t going to include waiting in endless lines at its overpriced parks. But I did want to experience at least some of the “magic,” so I researched how to do Disney for free and produced two options: Disney Springs and the Disney Boardwalk, both of which offer free parking — no park pass or resort stay required.

Once parked, you can explore these areas on foot, which feature restaurants and other entertainment options (I saw a movie at the AMC Dine-In at Disney Springs with a free pass I had saved).

You also can travel from resort to resort via Disney’s seven-month-old Skyliner, free (and super fun!) to ride, which will zip you between five stations, including three resorts.

To access resorts not served by the Skyliner — like

Animal Kingdom, where you can view safari animals, like giraffes, zebras and gazelles — take one of Disney’s buses or boats (completely free) to create an entire day of fun without spending a dime.

Oh, and here’s a pro-tip if you’d like to have cocktails during your travels: Prepare your drinks ahead of time, bring along your favorite Disney-branded cup, and ask for free ice at restaurants when you’re ready for a fill-up. Nobody will check your bag for your stash, and Disney allows open-carry adult beverages throughout its resorts.

5. Watch a movie with Chip ’n’ Dale Want to sing along and watch a movie with Chip ‘n’ Dale?

Head to the Disney Wilderness Lodge and tell the parking attendant that you have a reservation at the Whispering Canyon Café or Trail’s End Restaurant. They’ll direct you where to park for free. Instead of going to the restaurant, however, hop a free shuttle bus to the Fort Wilderness Campfire and Movie area, where you’ll join the singalong and enjoy a visit from the beloved chipmunks. A full-length Disney movie will follow. A food truck is on premises along with a camp store that sells snacks and booze, but there’s no rule about bringing your own.

Stock your backpack ahead of time, then sit back and enjoy the show. Q Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and LGBT lifestyle expert whose work has been published in more than 100 outlets across the world. He currently lives in his van, saving money and traveling the country. Connect with Mikey on Instagram @mikeyroxtravels

SEPTEMBER 19, 2019 |

ADVICE | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 39

ISSUE 304 | Qsaltlake.com

ask mr. manners

DINING GUIDE Fabby Award Winner

Congenial correspondence

2016 BEST PIZZA

Fabby Awards

BY ROCK MAGEN

With the

results of “Super Tuesday” fresh in our minds, many of us may be ready to see some upcoming changes in our political climate. The “game” of politics is a time-honored pursuit, and if we don’t stand up for our own interest, how can we rightly expect anyone else to? The day will come (if it hasn’t already) that you will come across an issue you feel strongly about. In these moments it’s important that you actually start the process of doing something about it — by writing to your elected official.

The First Amendment of the US Constitution guarantees the right of all citizens to communicate with their elected representatives. This is a right that we are extremely fortunate to have, and all too often, we may feel apathetic or get caught up in the notion that politicians are so corrupt that it is not worth our time to petition them.

Things will never change if we don’t get involved and hold our politicians accountable.

Writing an elected official is not as difficult or time-consuming as you may imagine. Here are a few guidelines to help you make your voice heard: Proper acknowledgment. As much as we may hate “titles” or “labels” it is important to open the letter with an appropriate salutation. For a representative or senator, “To the Honorable…” is always a safe bet. If you feel more comfortable calling them out with a title, that is acceptable as well.

Keep it short. Get right to the point. Open the letter by summarizing why you are writing and what you want from

them. If you are writing about one piece of legislation, in particular, including its official name and number if possible.

Try not to ramble, if the letter gets too long, the person may get bored and stop reading.

Evidence. Hard facts and statistics cited from a specific, published source (and yes, you need to include a citation) can support your position and give you further credibility. Personal stories can also be appropriate if you can tie it back to how this affects you specifically.

Respect. In some instances, you may be writing to an official you voted against. This is still someone of power and influence, and generally, you are asking for them to do you a favor. Time spent challenging someone’s character or honesty is going to be counterproductive to your cause. Above all, NEVER include anything that could be viewed as a threat — unless you enjoy the idea of an FBI investigation. NO ONE loves a person in uniform THAT much.

Writing your representative may seem like only a small thing, but politicians need to know that their constituents are paying attention. They work for you, and if they don’t do their job and actually satisfy the request of those they represent, they can get voted out of office during the next election. Think about that — they can actually be accountable for their actions!

So, as you are preparing to “rock the vote” also consider making your voice heard through written correspondence. Use this as a chance to purchase some customized stationery — I know I enjoy participating in retail therapy for a good cause! Q

801-582-5700

801-466-5100

275 S 1300 E SLC

University: 258 South 1300 East Cottonwood: 3698 East Ft. Union Blvd.

801-582-5700 1320 E 200 S SLC 801-233-1999

3321 So. 200 E SLC

801-495-4095

10627 S Redwood Rd. South Jordan

801-627-1920

7186 S Union Park Ave 4300 Harrison Blvd Midvale Ogden

Most Fabby in Park City

270 South Rio Grande St. In the Historic Rio Grande Train Station www.riograndecafeslc.com

TOP OF MAIN STREET FABBY SUMMER PATIO 250 MAIN STREET, PARK CITY 2100 SOUTH HIGHLAND DRIVE SLC

FABBY SLC Brew Pub

Serving Lunch and Dinner Daily, Weekend Brunch $2 Mid-Day Mimosas, Bloody Marys and Nooners 147 W. Broadway , SLC

LUNCH, DINNER, COCKTAILS 18 W MARKET ST / 801.519.9595

YOUR AD HERE

GET INTO OUR NEW SERVICE GUIDE SECTION FOR AS LOW AS $50/MO

801-997-9763

40 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FINAL WORD

Qsaltlake.com | ISSUE 310 | April, 2020

the perils of petunia pap smear

A tale of queens that go boom at the bingo

BY PETUNIA PAP SMEAR

The road

to the Bingo Hall of Fame is fraught with danger and excitement.

As many of you know, I am a member of the Matrons of Mayhem and we conduct drag queen bingo for charity every month. Years ago I used to hear the word “bingo” and immediately picture the dining room in a senior citizen center with rows of long tables filled with a bunch of old ladies hunched over their bingo cards, elbowing their neighbors and asking what number was just called because they couldn’t hear since the batteries in their hearing aids were dead. Well, at Matrons of Mayhem Bingo nothing could be more dissimilar. Over the years, I have come to discover that bingo with the Matrons is a full-contact sport and I have accumulated the battle scars to prove it.

One time I was descending the stairs from the stage in order to harass (shamelessly flirt with) a very cute boy sitting at table nine. It seems that my high heel shoes were not designed for such heavy-duty use. Since I am a queen who is a lover of food and to whom exercise is not a common occurrence, at the top of the stairs, under the strain of supporting my Rubenesque physique, the structural integrity of the shoes failed. Not one, but both heels broke free, thus throwing my immense center of gravity drastically forward. This caused me to perform what could best be described as a flying belly

7pm, most third Fridays First Baptist Church, 777 S 1300 E fb.me/matronsofmayhem

flop down three stairs to crash land on the floor at the feet of the Utah Bears.

The entire building shook as if there had been an earthquake. The pendant light fixtures began to swing. Clouds of dust were shaken free from the rafters.

The wind was knocked out of me. I lay there, stunned and in shock, expecting the Bears to be chivalrous and jump up to my rescue. BUT NO! The Bears remained sitting in their chairs, looking down on me as if studying a dead spider. Not even the other queens came to my aid. I was left to roll my own rotunditude over to the stairs, and then crawl up two of the stairs until I was upright enough to finish standing. Bastards!

Another time, the charity of the night was the Great Dane Rescue. They brought four of the massive dogs to bingo to show them off. It just so happened that I was running a solo party foul and running back and forth repeatedly across the room between the tightly placed tables. Well, there were a bunch of people waving dollars in the air on the far side of the room, so I ran to gather them up. In the process, of running between the tables, I neglected to see there was a Great Dane lying on the floor hidden from my view. I tripped on the beast and landed with my full voluptitude on top of the poor defenseless creature. He cushioned my fall, but I nearly crushed the life out of him. It took a whole pizza and seven hot dogs to calm him down again.

On one occasion Pansy, a most problematic weed in my garden, challenged me to a race from the back of the hall to the stage and the winner would receive all the glory and accolades of an adoring crowd. Always a competitive queen, I immediately kicked off my high heels, gathered up my skirt in my hands and assumed a sumo wrestler stance in preparation to run. Someone yelled “go” and off we ran. I achieved a pretty good head of steam and broke into an early lead BUT, the limits of physics were being stretched past anything Einstein could

have imagined. Somehow, under the strain of being in a running posture, my lighted breasticles made me front heavy and began to pull my torso forward faster than my feet could keep up. I began to slowly tip forward, eventually losing my balance. I hit the floor, skidding at least ten feet. Friction from the wires in my underwire bra scraping the floor caused sparks to fly, before coming to a stop.

Luckily, the fumes from the fart that I had secretly let fly a few minutes earlier had already cleared or the sparks would have caused a natural gas explosion.

Again, I lay there dazed and confused.

Pansy kept running to the finish line, and returned to stand triumphantly over my poor lifeless corpse. With much help, she rolled me onto my back. I lay there dazed and confused. The heels of my hands were scraped with road rash. My knees were both bleeding profusely. The lights in my right breasticle had ceased functioning, but the ones in my left breasticle kept blinking like a lighthouse as if to say “Here! Here is a beached whale.” I lay there writhing in pain, waiting for a bunch of polar bears to smell the blood and come to and finish me off.

Upon investigation, both breasticles had dug deep, long gouges into the vinyl flooring. They ended up having to replace the entire floor. I shall always wear sensible shoes from now on.

This story leaves us with several important questions: 1. Who knew there was a weight limit on shoes?

2. If I had been carrying a pizza in my purse, would the Bears then have helped me up off the floor?

3. Do I need to begin packing food treats in my purse to bribe the Bears?

4. Is it wrong that I was jealous that the dog got a pizza and seven hot dogs that I felt I deserved?

5. Is it wrong that I was upset that I got dog hair on my skirt?

6. Does my bloody crashing to the floor put the “smear” in Pap Smear?

These and other eternal questions will be answered in future chapters of The Perils of Petunia Pap Smear. Q

Summer bodies are made in Spring!

The Coolest Way to Lose Fat!

Utah’s MOST experienced and affordable provider!

Patients select Enlighten Laser Cosmetics for CoolSculpting for these reasons: #1 Provider in Northern Utah We have been providing CoolSculpting since FDA clearance in 2010.

That is longer than any other provider in Utah!

Highly experienced with THOUSANDS of treatments performed Provider of 2 CoolSculpting suites for improved availability We carry all machine applicators available for improved results Our CoolSculpting experts continue to receive ongoing advanced education to make sure that we remain up-to-date on the latest techniques.

We’ll match anyone’s price!

FREE laser hair removal membership with any package purchase

Start your transformation today!

Call for your FREE consultation.

801-294-9999 Molly Mears, MD

801-294-9999

1560 S. Renaissance Towne Drive, Bountiful www.enlightenlaser.com

@EnlightenUtah