QSaltLake Magazine - Issue 334 - April 2022

APRIL, 2022 VOL. 19 • ISSUE 334 QSALTLAKE.COM

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publisher/editor Michael Aaron

designer Christian Allred sales Dusty Trent, 801-997-9763 x1 sales@qsaltlake.com Rivendell Media, 908-232-2021 ext 200 sales@rivendellmedia.com NATIONAL NEWS editor Craig Ogan contributors Joshua Adamson Pickett, Diane Anderson-Minshall, Chris Azzopardi, Paul Berge, Jeff Berry, Paul Campbell, Laurie Bennett-Cook, Roger Cox, Stephen Dark, Jennifer Dobner, Mikki Enoch, Jack Fertig, Greg Fox, Oriol Gutierrez Jr., Tony Hobday, Ashley Hoyle, Joshua Jones, Christopher Katis, Sam Kelly-Mills, Craig Ogan, Peter Reynolds, Mikey Rox, Terri Schlichenmeyer, Gregg Shapiro, Petunia Pap Smear, Steven Petrow, Ed Sikov, JoSelle Vanderhooft, Ben ­Williams, D’Anne ­Witkowski distribution Roger Cox publisher

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Dancing at the White House

BY MARK SEGAL

Isn’t love grand! We just celebrated our wedding anniversary, and for anybody who has that special someone in our lives, it’s an opportunity to celebrate your person and the two of you as a couple.

For me, that person is my husband Jason.

As a friend of mine once said Jason is a gift of life to you, and he is. I’m not embarrassed to yell it from the hills, although we don’t really live near any hill.

Looking at him for me is an amazement.

Not only is he my rock, partner, greatest supporter and soulmate, he also makes me very well aware of how far we have come as a community, and that’s very personal for me, thanks to my mother and something she said to me when I came out to her 55 years ago.

Although she’s now gone, her words still guide me.

Unlike many of you, my coming out was rather uneventful. Upon telling my father, his response was: so what? But my mother had a totally different reaction. “Mark, you know all I’ve ever wished for you is happiness.” Then, as a Jewish mother would say, she said: “my only worry is that you’ll be alone in your old age.”

Of course like many at that time she didn’t know of or expect that there could be long and happy LGBT relationships. Never could she or I have ever expected that there would be legal same-sex marriage. After all, we as a people were still invisible.

But mom and my dad did an incredible amount of work to make their son feel comfortable in an unfriendly world. They became the voice of parents supporting their gay son. They marched in LGBT Pride parades, did newspaper and magazine interviews, and they even appeared with me on the Phil Donahue Show as a gay family.

Fast forward 53 years, and if my mom were still here I know she would love Jason and most likely say I married up. She’d also get to see that not only was her son in a loving relationship, but they were married. And they were not only married, but as a couple they had danced together at the White House. But for me, dancing at the White House with the man I love comes in a distant second to the love we share.

Mom, your wish came true. And more importantly, you made it possible for thousands of LGBT couples to come out and be proud of their spouses. Q

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news The top national and world news since last issue you should know

BY CRAIG OGAN

Don’t Say Gay FLORIDA: The legislature has passed a bill prohibiting instruction about sexual orientation or gender identity in kindergarten through third grade and places a vague requirement of “age-appropriate” instruction in all grade levels. The Florida governor signed the bill into law. Let the lawsuits begin.

GEORGIA: The same day the Florida Legislature passed its bill, similar legislation was filed in the Georgia State Assembly. The bill addresses both the teaching of “critical race theory” and the treatment of LGBTQ+ issues in the classroom. If passed, the bill states, “No private or nonpublic school or program to which shall promote, compel, or encourage classroom discussion of sexual orientation or gender identity in primary grade (K–3) levels or in a manner that is not appropriate for the age and developmental stage of the student.”

The mouse that didn’t roar After Florida passed its “Don’t Say Gay” law, the state’s largest employer and a major player in legislative doings, Disney, was silent. After criticism from LGBT advocates, the owner of Walt Disney World and EPCOT center in the Orlando area and Disney cruises operating out of the port of Miami, announced

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they didn’t like the bill. The Florida governor responsed to Disney after signing the bill, “In Florida, our policies have got to be based on the best interest of Florida citizens, not on the musing of woke corporations.” Disney tried to make nice with the LGBT audience by making a $5 million donation to the Human Rights Campaign which, in what may be a first, turned down the donation.

HRC’s interim president Joni Madison said, “The Human Rights Campaign will not accept this money from Disney until we see them build on their public commitment.”

WNBA detainee in Russia WNBA star BRITTNEY ­GRINER was arrested for smuggling and drug possession in Russia. She was arrested at the Sheremetyevo International Airport when authorities found vape cartridges containing a liquid with hashish oil in her luggage. Russian authorities say that Griner faces up to 10 years in prison if convicted.

Her detainment is perilous since Russia is now sanctioned for the Ukrainian invasion and many US diplomats are being expelled by the Russian government or called home by the U.S. State Department.

Until recently Griner’s arrest and detainment haven’t been much of a news item until U.S. Secretary of State Antony Blinken was asked about it at a news conference and answered, “Whenever an American is detained anywhere in the world, we, of course, stand ready to provide every possible assistance, and that includes in Russia.” Griner’s wife, Cherelle, asked for privacy, “Please honor our privacy as we continue to work on getting my wife home safely,” she wrote in her only public statement about the incident.

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battle. No protest from any cows for lack of inclusion, yet.

Being seen Hunky Jesus resurrected Just in time for Easter, the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence return from a COVID hiatus with its annual Easter Celebration, this year themed as “Back to Our Old Habits” at San Francisco’s Dolores park. The celebration includes an Easter egg hunt, story time, and other children’s activities in the morning.

In the afternoon, drag icon Peaches Christ hosts a variety show with drag, live performances, and holy acts by the Sisters themselves. Anyone can enter the crowd-pleasing Hunky Jesus costume contest, but only the best costumes and/or hunkiest may survive the initial screening.

Boebert challenge A member of congress from Colorado’s 3rd District, LAUREN BOEBERT, who was one of the president’s hecklers at the last State of the Union speech along with Georgia’s MARJORIE TAYLOR-GREENE, is being challenged for reelection by ALEX WALKER, a gay man and newly minted Democrat. He made a splash with a campaign video that shows fecal matter falling from the skies and ends with him declaring, “Colorado needs a bull, not a bullshitter.”

Walker is a political newcomer who has run small businesses and worked in the tech industry, has some conservative views, he favors small government and lower taxes and lighter regulation. He supports passage of the Equality Act while Boebert does not. Due to redistricting, the district has become even more Republican. The optimistic Walker admits he’s in an uphill

Admiral RACHEL LEVINE was named as one of 15 National “Women Of The Year” by USA Today. Levine is the U.S. assistant secretary for health for the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services and heads the U.S. Public Health Service Commissioned Corps. This is not a U. S. Navy unit, but she leads a group of 6,000 uniformed public health officers, hence the military honorific. She also represented the District of Columbia as one of 52 “State” winners.

US Today reports Levine, 64, a trained pediatrician, became the nation’s highest-ranking openly transgender official with Senate confirmation in March of 2021.

LIA THOMAS was first place in the NCAA Women’s 500 Freestyle Finals. She is a swimmer for Pennsylvania State, first on the men’s squad but set the NCAA record in this meet swimming in the women’s competition.

Thomas is the first transgender athlete to win a Division I national championship.

She placed third in the 200 Freestyle competition losing behind two cis-gendered persons who menstruate.

Fla. chief fired after minority promotions Fort Lauderdale, Fla.’s first gay police chief has been fired after six months on the job. LARRY SCIROTTO was fired following charges that he hired and promoted in an “improper, minority-first approach.” Three white and one Hispanic police officers filed complaints with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission that accused the chief of promoting unfairly based on race. Witnesses tes-

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tified Scirotto made clear his intention to promote based on race, gender, or sexual orientation. Fort Lauderdale officials announced, “We serve a very diverse community and that’s important.

There are just certain ways that you can do that and do it legally, and other ways that meet that muster.” Scirotto said, “If promoting diversity is the hill I’m going to die on, I will sleep well tonight.”

Straight people in ‘BITCH’ fight over gay movie “The Power of the Dog” by New Zealand movie director JANE CAMPION is up for every big cinema award around.

Cisgender, craggy heart throb, SAM ELLIOTT (who was not in the movie) praised Campion but dissed the movie, saying, the movie was a “piece of shit” because it wasn’t filmed in the American West, and “there’s all these allusions to homosexuality.” The last complaint seemed to indicate he missed the point of the film.

Campion’s retort, “I’m sorry, he was being a little bit of a B-I-T-C-H. He’s not a cowboy; he’s an actor.” The movie’s star, BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH, who straightwashed the gay character, chimed in with a woke-word-salad that Elliott was complaining from a “heteronormative existence” and playing into the “massive intolerance within the world at large towards homosexuality.”

Alabama gender affirming medical treatment Alabama’s proposed “Vulnerable Child Protection Act” would make gender-affirming treatment for transgender adolescents under age 18 a felony.

If passed, the law would punish violators with up to 10 years in prison and require school personnel, including counselors, to report information about

a student’s gender identity to their parents. The bill passed the Alabama Senate 24–6.

‘Sex ban’ marketing ploy at WEHO gym West Hollywood gym Crunchers posted a sign, “Attention Members: Please DO NOT HAVE SEX in the Men’s Locker Room!” The gym threatens they’ll jerk the membership of anyone caught jerking a member’s member. A Quebec study found men burned only 101 calories on average during a 24-minute round of sex compared to a 30-minute session on an exercise bike which burned 276 calories.

Some speculate this is just a marketing ploy by the gym as now you know where to go for public sex and then a hot shower in West Hollywood.

NFL defensive end released CARL NASSIB is the first active National Football League player to come out while signed to a team. The Las Vegas Raiders are releasing him and saving his $7.75 million base salary. The Internet commentariat opine Nassib’s performance doesn’t merit his salary. NLF.com, writing in an apparently a foreign language said, “His salary was too rich for a player who played just 242 defensive snaps and earned 1.5 sacks last season” Translation software indicates, “Defensive snaps are defensive plays in which a player participated, and sacks are the tackling of a quarterback making a forward pass.”

Nassib revealed his gayness on Instagram last year with no apparent blow back from fans or in the locker room.

The release means Nassib can sign with any other team and he’s valuable enough that some team will likely tap him, reported the website. Q

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Idaho Senate blocks bill that would punish parents of trans kids with life in prison An Idaho bill that would have criminalized a parent’s decision to allow their transgender child to receive gender-affirming medical treatment died at the hands of the state Senate’s Republican conference after a national outcry.

In a statement, Idaho Senate Republicans said they oppose gender reassignment surgery for minors but that the bill interferes with a parent’s right to make medical decisions for their own children.

“We believe in parents’ rights and that the best decisions regarding medical treatment options for children are made by parents, with the benefit of their physician’s advice and expertise,” the senators said in the statement.

The Idaho House of Representatives earlier in March passed HB 675, Genital Mutilation of a Child, to make it a crime punishable by life in prison for a parent to seek out gender-affirming health care for their transgender child.

The bill is among 29 pieces of Republican-backed legislation nationwide proposed so far this year to curtail health care for transgender youth, including Utah’s HB127 sponsored by financial advisor Rep. Rex Shipp, R-Cedar City, which didn’t progress beyond being introduced. Dozens of additional bills in the country are seeking to limit what can be discussed about gender identity and sexual orientation in schools and restrict transgender athletes in school sports.

But LGBTQ advocates and legal experts say the Idaho proposal differs by criminalizing cases of transgender children traveling to other states to obtain certain medical procedures.

“We are seeing the severity of those policies start to really ramp up,” said Sam Ames, director of advocacy and government affairs at The Trevor Project, a nonprofit organization that focuses on preventing suicide in the LGBTQ population.

The bill would have banned puberty-blocking treatment, hormone therapy, and gender confirmation surgery and made it a felony if parents or doctors provide it. But it would also make it a felony to take a child out of state to get the healthcare recommended by every major medical authority in the

country. The sentence would have been life in prison and the removal of the children from the home.

The law also stipulated that the hormone testosterone could only be provided to people who were born male.

Gender reassignment surgeries for children are rare, a family practice physician told the Idaho Statesman.

The Idaho Medical Association and the broader American Medical Association oppose legislation, such as Skaug’s bill, that restricts access to health care for transgender people.

But GOP-led legislatures around the

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country have used the claim to spark fear and misinform voters into supporting anti-transgender laws and to win elections.

“If we do not allow minors to get tattoos, smoke cigarettes and drink alcohol or sign legal contracts,” the bill’s sponsor, Republican state Rep. Bruce Skaug, said, “why would we allow them to make decisions to cut away organs based on their feelings during puberty time?”

At no point are middle school students allowed to make their own medical decisions.

On March 2, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) issued guidance stating that the Affordable Care Act (also known as ACA or Obamacare) forbids states from restricting medical care based on a person’s gender identity or sex assigned at birth. Q

Education Dept. drops LGBTQ complaint against BYU After months of investigation, the U.S. Department of Education dismissed a complaint filed against Brigham Young University over how the private religious school treats its LGBTQ students. The dismissal was on the basis of religious exemption under Title IX prohibits changes against the school.

In a letter, an official with the Office of Civil Rights informed BYU President Kevin Worthen the department is “dismissing this complaint” pursuant to the religious exemption under Title IX of the Education Amendments of 1972.

“Because the University is exempt from the above-referenced regulatory provisions of Title IX to the extent that application of those provisions conflict with the religious tenets of its controlling religious organization, OCR lacks jurisdiction to address the complaint’s allegations,” Sandra Roesti, supervisory attorney with the department’s Office of Civil Rights wrote.

The letter noted the dismissal should not be considered as “a formal statement of OCR policy and should not be relied upon, cited, or construed as such.”

The initial complaint was filed on March 9, 2020, alleging BYU engages in the different treatment of students who are involved in same-sex romantic relationships by stating that such relationships are not compatible with the principles of the University’s Honor Code. The filer of the complaint is not identified.

A BYU response to the dismissal said

the school was expecting the result as the U.S. government has consistently recognized the religious exemption under Title IX applies to the school.

“BYU had anticipated that OCR would dismiss the complaint because OCR has repeatedly recognized BYU’s religious exemption for Title IX requirements that are not consistent with the religious tenets of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints,” the statement says.

BYU is under scrutiny for its policies after what appeared to be a reversal after the school removed a section of the Honor Code that banned “homosexual behavior.” Upon BYU officials reemphasizing that such behavior was still against school policy, many protests took place at BYU and the Salt Lake City Temple. The school recently banned all protests on campus and on Y Mountain after pro-LGBTQ students lit it up in rainbow colors on multiple occasions.

Paul Carlos Southwick, director of the pro-LGBTQ student group Religious Exemption Accountability Project, said in a statement the department’s dismissal of the charges “is another example of the federal government siding with discrimination and powerful institutions like BYU at the expense of vulnerable LGBTQ+ students.”

“I wanted to believe something would come out of this,” said bisexual BYU student Madi Hawes. “I had hope, but that’s all it was — hope.” Q

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UofU Pride Week honors history, cultures Pride Week at the University of Utah is an annual event honoring LGBTQIA+ histories, cultures, and lives, say organizers. The week-long series of events will take place Mar. 28 – April 1.

Pride Week is planned by a volunteer committee of students, faculty, trainees, and staff collaborating across the university and all are welcome to the events.

An Art Show will showcase works of different mediums.

In honor of this year’s Pride Week theme, organizers sought entries that hold strong connection to Pride and Solidarity. The art will be displayed all week in a virtual art gallery and in-person at the Student Union Building.

A scavenger hunt with daily clues posted on the LGBT Resource Center’s social accounts

and diversity.utah.edu will help U students find ten Pride Block U’s that will be hidden around campus for prizes.

The keynote speaker is Black transgender activist Raquel Willis. Willis was a director at the Ms. Foundation, executive editor of Out magazine, and national organizer for Transgender Law Center.

A Queer Prom dance party and celebration of the LGBTQIA+ community in partnership with the College of Business and Out for Business. The event is open to the University of Utah campus community.

A forum will discuss handling nuanced intersectionality and trying to find healing with religion and spirituality. Q More information on UofU Pride can be found at diversity.utah.edu/pride/

UofU Swim, Gymnastics teams celebrate Pride The University of Utah men’s swimming team celebrated their Pride meet on Feb. 12th vs. USC, with themed tee shirts and with Swoop, the school’s mascot, wearing his pride-themed suit. The UofU women’s gymnastics team also held a Pride-themed meet featuring Pride warmup tee shirts, music from LGBTQIA+ inclusive artists during beam performances, and by making an inclusion statement prior to the start of the meet with several Pride-themed graphics displayed across the venue’s video boards. The team also met with Utah’s LGBT Resource Center on campus to discuss inclusion and what it means to be an ally.

Annual Spring Plant Sale & Fundraiser A great way to welcome the planting season and support the Garden.

Member Benefit Day Friday, May 6, 1 - 8pm

Online registration required for timed admission.

Open to the public Saturday, May 7, 9am - 3pm Located in the Red Butte Garden Amphitheatre redbuttegarden.org/events/spring-plant-sale

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that is authentic to their experience” Johnson said. “Our community is very diverse and we want to allow space for a variety of identities, orientations, faiths, races, ethnicities, and cultures.

PRIDE Week is a time to appreciate our differences, and for each of us to celebrate own space in this community.”

Organizers encourage people to share their own stories of pride and use the hashtag #iamutahpride on social media posts so they can be collected a large number that express pride in as many different ways as possible.

Utah Pride 2022 is on

Utah Pride Festival organizers announced that the event will return this June with plans for 60,000+ attendees.

The two-day festival will take place Saturday June 4 and Sunday June 5 on Washington Square — the block of the Salt Lake City and County Building. Organizers say they expanded the Festival area by 20 percent to accommodate more crowd and more vendors.

“Our co-CEOs, along with the board, have agreed it’s time to return to normal and put on the biggest Pride Festival and Parade Utah has ever seen,” leaders said in a statement. “We will, of course, be keeping an eye on COVID case numbers and taking recommendations from the Utah Department of Health as we move forward. But as of now, the plan is to host the event as we’ve done pre-pandemic with a few changes and additions this year.”

This includes more space with food trucks on 500 South and a Volunteer Village on Library Square. They promise more drink stations, more entrance gates and more exhibitor booths.

Per capita, the Utah Pride Festival is the largest PRIDE celebration in the Western United States.

Tickets Tickets will go on sale May 1, with early bird discounts through May 31.

A one-day pass will be $0 for youth and $15 for adults. Multi-day passes will range from $25 to $250, and group bonus packs will be $40 to $300.

Pride Week Schedule

SUNDAY, MAY 29 — Drag Queen Brunch, Retro Sun-Day Dance Party.

MONDAY, MAY 30 — 5K Family Run Run (free), Memorial Day Pride Picnic (free) TUESDAY, MAY 31 — LGBTQ+ Film Premier (free) WEDNESDAY, JUNE 1 — Pride Month Flag Raising at City Hall (free), Pride Story Garden Exhibit Opening (free).

THURSDAY, JUNE 2 — Pride Interfaith Service (free).

FRIDAY, JUNE 3 — Youth Pride, Pride March (free), Rainbow Glow March (free), Rainbow Glow March Rooftop After Party.

SATURDAY, JUNE 4 — Utah Pride Festival Day 1 from 1–11 p.m.

SUNDAY, JUNE 5 — Utah Pride Parade (free), Utah Pride Festival Day 2 from 11 a.m.–7 p.m.

Pride Theme The PRIDE Week Steering Committee voted unanimously for this year’s theme among nearly 100 submissions from the community: I AM Utah Pride.

John Johnson, who has organized the logistics of 11 Utah Pride festivals was named Operations Director. He feels this theme will allow everyone to determine what PRIDE Week means to them.

“PRIDE means something different for all of us, and that’s the beauty of PRIDE. We want everyone to celebrate PRIDE Week with us and to be able to show their own PRIDE in a way

Pride March The annual Pride March will happen Friday night, June 3, and leaders are calling it a “sunset version” followed by a Rainbow Glow March.

Pride Parade This year’s parade route will be the longest it has ever been — 13 blocks.

It will head east along Second South from Second West to Fourth East, then turn south to Seventh South and back west towards the Festival grounds, ending at Second East.

The parade will kick off at 10 a.m. and applications to be part of the parade are live at utahpridecenter.org.

Fees to participate are dependent on a group’s annual budget and are categorized as follows: social groups, schools, governments and politicians, nonprofits (small, medium, large), and other organizations (small medium, large.)

Stages There will be four stages on the Festival grounds, and organizers are searching for 40 local, regional, and national entertainers.

Food Vendors The Festival has made the area for food much larger this year, for a total of 30 vendors, an increase of nearly fifty percent from the last in-person Pride. They are taking applications for vendors now.

Volunteers A festival of this size takes a lot of volunteers. Those interested can go to bit.ly/pridevolunteer22 to sign up. Q More information on the Utah Pride Festival can be found at utahpridecenter.org

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Ogden’s Own announces the 2022 class of ‘Five Husbands’ Ogden’s Own distillery, which produces Five Wives Vodka, announced its fifth year of “Five Husbands” for 2022.

This year’s label will feature five Utah “husbands” who represent an array of backgrounds deeply representative of the LGBTQ+ community.

Selecting the five was quite the task.

“It was a very difficult decision as we were very fortunate to receive more responses than we anticipated for this year’s label,” said Mark Fine, president and CEO of Ogden’s Own Distillery. “In selecting the Five ‘Husbands’, we didn’t just want it to be about a person who specifically identifies as a ‘husband’, but a person who is authentically themselves and part of the rich tapestry that makes up the LGBTQ+ community.”

The husbands chosen (left to right) are: MADAZON CAN-CAN, a non-binary transmasculine human who has been terrified for most their life, being filled with rejection or pure disbelief that one could be possibly both feminine and masculine.

“I have been involved in the community primarily through work as a burlesquer and drag king, which also allows me to raise awareness through performance art. I teach drag king classes, inspiring others to develop a new skill, but to also facilitate a band of brothers who would support each other building a community of authenticity and offering a variety of drag in every gendered and non-gen-

dered expression,” states Madazon.

BRYCE JACKSON, who moved to Salt Lake City from Kansas five years ago. and is a co-founder of Stonewall Sports.

With over 1,300 members, Stonewall Sports SLC is an LGBTQ+ not-for-profit sports league which includes kickball, sand volleyball, dodgeball, and bowling.

“This adult league brings back memories for many of not feeling included in sports growing up but now taking ownership and having fun. Many of the teams meet up outside of the league for dinners, movie nights, and just good old-fashioned fun,” Jackson said.

MATT EASTON, a Utah native and seventh-generation Mormon who came out during his 2019 valedictorian speech at Brigham Young University.

“My speech gathered a lot more attention than I initially thought it would and I ended up going on the Ellen Show, The Ru Paul Show, and Good Morning America to talk about my experience being gay at BYU. It allowed me to springboard into the world of LBTQ+ activism, working on improving the treatment of queer people at BYU and the Mormon church,” Easton said.

Easton is currently attending Berkley and working on a PhD in political science.

“My first alcoholic experience was actually drinking Five Wives Vodka and cranberry!” Easton laughs.

CHEF BRYAN WOOLLEY, a celebrity chef, TV personality, operatic singer, and host of “Cooking with Bryan” on KUTV. “If I could inspire and save just one person in knowing that being who they are is fine, then this is a success. I am passionate about my career as a chef and have made many friends, allowing me to travel and speak with wonderful people with shared interests,” Wooley said.

CHRISTIAN HARVEY, better known as “Hoe

Shi Minh,” Salt Lake City’s only Vietnamese performer. Hoe Shi Minh hosts numerous LGBTQ+ shows inspiring others to enjoy life and be proud of who they are.

“When I attend Asian-American functions I represent the queer community, and when I am involved with LGBTQ+ events I represent the Asian community. I am proud to be part of both,” Harvey said.

“These are not just ‘Five Husbands’, but truly ‘Five Stories’ and ‘Five Messages’ that I hope many people will relate to and support who one is or who one wishes to be,” Fine said.

Ogden’s Own has served as the official alcohol sponsor of the Utah Pride Festival for several years and is a long-standing ally of Equality Utah and the Utah Pride Center.

In 2019, Ogden’s Own introduced Five Husbands Vodka for the first time as a Pride Month special release, however the expression was met with so much enthusiasm and customer demand that the distillery immediately decided to make it a year-round offering, representing its support for LGBTQ+ community each day of the year.

A portion of the profits of Five Husbands Vodka are donated to support LGBTQ+ causes. The 2022 Five Husbands Vodka bottling is expected to hit shelves in Utah, select additional markets and through online retailers in May, just in time for Pride Month 2022. Q

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Davis County will have its first Pride Davis County is about to have its first Pride Event April 23 from noon to 4 p.m. at Layton Commons Park, 465 N Wasatch Dr., in Layton, Utah “Keep in mind it will be much smaller than Salt Lake’s Pride,” jokes organizer Genevra Prothero. “Davis County is very conservative but we are going to show this county that the LGBTQIA+ Community is here and deserves space, love, and the freedom to come out and celebrate.”

“This is for our Youth,” Prothero continued. “We had a banning of Pride Flags in our schools. I am deeply hurt by this and knew that our LGBTQIA+ youth would be hurt beyond my own comprehension.”

There will be a poetry contest, speakers, tables set up with resources, swag, and “lots of hugs for those that want them.”

A Clearfield High School student came up with the

theme, “Seize the Day.” “This amazing teenager will be able to read her slam poetry at the event,” Prothero said.

There will be some singers and other people prior to a march.

“We will not have cars or floats, as we couldn’t get the police to agree to block off streets, but we do have a very large public sidewalk we can use. We plan on marching at 12:45 p.m. sharp for a fun stroll around the block,” Prothero said. “I am 100% focused on our youth but of course we welcome everyone.”

There will be opportunities for vendors.

To participate email ­daviscountypride@gmail.com Davis Pride received a $2,000 grant from Project Rainbow and is seeking out other donations to pay for the event. Committee leaders and volunteers are still needed.

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Local/Regional Pride events The following dates have been announced for this year’s Pride celebrations: DAVIS COUNTY PRIDE, Layton Commons Park UTAH PRIDE, Washington Square, Salt Lake City, utahpridecenter.org June 11 REXBURG PRIDE, Porter Park, Rexburg Idaho June 25 Idaho Falls Pride, Idaho Falls Greenbelt, Idaho, idahofallspride.com June 25–26 DENVER PRIDE, denverpride.org July 23 NORTHERN NEVADA PRIDE in Reno, Nev. Aug. 8 OGDEN PRIDE, Ogden Amphitheater Sept. 9–11 BOISE PRIDE, Cecil D. Andrus Park, Boise Idaho Oct. 7–8 LAS VEGAS PRIDE, LasVegasPride.org

Apr. 23 June 4–5

We will update this story as other dates are officially announced.

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Q mmunity

Utah Bears are on the hunt

BY PETER REYNOLDS

The Utah Bears Inc. is coming out of hibernation, with many activities and a welcoming space for gay adult men.

The Bears emphasize the body-positive of all gay men and are using the Spring as a membership drive, according to Bobby Moody, president of the nonprofit group. They currently have about 160 active members.

Their main purpose is to enjoy being bears through social and service events in the community and in some members-only gatherings.

To join, there is a $10 registration which will cover the remainder of the fiscal year through May, and $20 for a 2022–2023 annual registration.

The big annual event is Jam-BEAR-ee, scheduled for July 21–24 this year. Moody invites all gay men to summer camp and anticipates about 140 to join. The venue is on the scenic Portneuf River in southeast Idaho and includes an old-fashioned swimming hole and plenty of meadow for tents and RV campers. It is a two-hour drive from Salt Lake City and features daily catered breakfast and dinner along with popular theme night campfires, including Beareoke and drag bingo with the Matrons of Mayhem on

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Saturday. The campout is open to all, with members paying a discount price.

The group hosts many regular activities, including: Bear Coffee and Dinner on Wednesdays: Coffee at a local coffeeshop starts at 6 p.m. and dinner follows at 7 p.m. at a rotating popular restaurant each week, open to members and nonmembers.

The popular Bear Night at Club Try-Angles is the first Friday of the month.

All are welcome and you can see any of the six board members to get introduced and join the group.

Sunday Brunch is monthly on the fourth Sunday at varying restaurants in town.

March 27 is at Fiddler’s Elbow for those over 21.

Bowling with the Bears happens several times a year.

Bear-ly Private Parties are for members only and are announced throughout the year. The first is scheduled for April 9. Others include the annual Bones Halloween and Bear-ly Holiday parties.

A Bears @Bear Lake campout for members will be hosted May 29–June 1.

Beers, Burgers, & Bears Oh My will be the Utah Bears contribution to Bearvasion 2 in May. There are also monthly hikes and day trips currently in planning for members this summer.

Events are promoted on the group’s Facebook page and in weekly Bearmail to members. Bear merchandise is sold at many activities

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Join the Utah Bears at utahbears.com QSALTLAKE.COM

The group also plans to be part of the Utah Pride Festival, June 3–4.

The group also engages in service activities. In the past, these have included charitable support to organizations like stuffed bears for hospitalized children, animal adoption, community volunteer support, and Maud’s Café, a coffeeshop and cafe run by and for the Volunteers of America youth shelter.

Other plans are underway.

How best for you to get involved? All bears and friends of bears over the age of 21 are welcome and most events are

open to the public. Check the organization’s Facebook page at fb.me/utahbears or website, utahbears.com for updates.

The Utah Bears have a long history as an inclusive gay social organization. The group was originally formed in Salt Lake City in the 1980s when the club scene for gay men did not always welcome men of varying body types and ages.

In 2011, the organization was reorganized to offer a broader and more diverse range of member services. It has grown into a multi-state group of over 160 active members. Q More info is at utahbears.com

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Q mmunity Utah Pride Center to host open house After working virtually for the past two years to provide mental health services across the state, the Utah Pride Center is opening their doors to the public to offer in-person mental health services, as well as youth and senior programing at the Center.

The organization is will host an OPEN HOUSE AND 30TH ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION on Saturday, April 2 from 11:30 a.m. to 2 p.m. There will be free food from popular food trucks.at the UPC from 11:30 am to 2:00 pm. Come hungry for food, fun, and hugs! More info at u ­ tahpridecenter.org

Logan Pride clothing swap Logan Pride is seeking donations of gently used, stylish, washed clothes that for a gender-affirming clothing swap. No used socks or underwear. Donation deadline is Apr. 9 and the event is April 13 at 7 p.m. at the Logan Pride building, 69 E 100 South, Logan, Utah. loganpride.org

Utah -LGBTQ+ Chamber hosts Queer Feast In partnership with local LGBTQ and ally-owned and operated restaurants, breweries, and providers of spirits, the Utah LGBTQ+ Chamber of Commerce is presenting the 2022 Queer Food FEASTival — a springtime celebration of community resilience and abundance. The

focus of the Feast will not only be the food, but also the nourishment we provide each other through gathering and breaking bead together — a taste of Queer Salt Lake! This Friday evening event will feature culinary creations, craft cocktails, and entertainment.

Admission is $35 in advance, $40 at the door includes all food and one complimentary specialty cocktail. Discounted admission available for Chamber members, seniors, students & people with disabilities. This is a 21+ event.

May 6, 6–9 p.m. at Mountain West Cider, 425 N. 400 West.

Queer Spirit summer retreat Inspirit, a community organization founded by Jerry Buie and Bruce Frazier, is hosting a Queer Men’s retreat to “explore the magic of being Queer in this rapidly changing world” this June in Spring City, Utah.

“Sage, young, trans, gay, bi or any variation to the relationship of Queer is invited to explore the power and birthright of this sacred calling,” organizers wrote in a statement. “Ancient tribes and communities of indigenous societies see being Queer as a unique sacred gift. Throughout various cultures and traditions, Queer folks have been the gatekeepers, medicine folk, and shamans; unique conduits of Spirit and healing to tribe and community.”

They promise this retreat

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to be a “unique exploration of these sacred gifts.”

“The Eagle Bone Whistle is a unique tool that is carefully crafted by hollowing the bone until it’s absolutely clear. This whistle is used to call upon the spirits to hear our cry. In some sacred ceremonies, you will hear this whistle used to call the spirits and often powerful manifestations of this are evident. Using the metaphor of the hollow bone, we seek to clear the internal self from the challenges of living in a domesticated world that has marginalized our identities and seeks to keep hidden the gifts of being Queer,” the statement continued.

“To find the blessing of being Queer we are inviting participants to clear the debris that keeps you connected from the sacred sense of self.

By using mindfulness, ritual, and ceremony we energetically clear the path for the magic to flow. By partaking in inner cleansing and healing we

access interpersonal potential and sacred gifts. This retreat is an invitation to do the deeper process of the retrieval of our authentic and queer selves, liberating ourselves from old stories/beliefs and stepping into a deeper process of radical self-acceptance and celebration.”

The retreat will be held June 23–26 in Spring City, Utah. Early Bird Registration is $695 through May 20, or $800 per person after. The fee includes tuition, supplies, food, room, and board for double occupancy.

To register, email: info@ Inspiritcommunity.com More info at i­nspiritcommunity.com

Equality Utah announces annual Allies Gala The annual fundraiser for Equality Utah, the Allies Gala, will return to the Eccles Theatre on Aug. 27.

More information will be made available at a later date at Allies2022.org. Q

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Justin Utley responds to Brad Wilcox’s ‘apology’

“So, race and priesthood weren’t the only offensive and problematic parts of your sermon, Brad.

Still, overall, no matter how cringe, what you said is supported by #Mormon doctrine, Mormon history, and sermons given by other Mormon prophets/apostles.

I CAN relate, however, to the segment where you said “if you leave you lose everything.” I was raised in the LDS church. Devout.

Served on Seminary and Institute councils. I served a mission, went through conversion (exgay) therapy at the behest of my bishop and LDS Family Services. I did everything I could do to stay devout. But it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t sustainable or realistic.

In desperation, I left to forge my own path. And you were absolutely right. I did indeed lose everything: I was shunned by members. I was ridiculed and humiliated by bishops and stake presidents. Blacklisted. I lost my purpose. My support system. My dignity. My identity. My friendships. My relationships. Opportunities. And it almost cost me my life.

But you know what? In losing everything I was told, taught, and promised, I gained so much more.

I learned true self-respect. My world view expanded. My empathy and compassion for others grew by leaps and bounds, without ulterior motives. I was free of the shackles of cognitive dissonance and confirmation bias. I came to know a god that I’d never known or couldn’t have ever known before Had I not stepped away, and lost “everything”, I wouldn’t have gained everything. I wouldn’t be alive. I wouldn’t be thriving. I wouldn’t know true happiness. I wouldn’t have had the incredible experiences and gained the powerful perspectives I now have as a result of being an “outsider” in a truly amazing world of possibilities. The horizon is so much bigger and so much more beautiful than I ever imagined before. Q

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guest editorial

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An open letter to Utah Rep. Kera Birkeland from a queer student

BY EM JENKINS

My

name is Em Jenkins.

I am the queer high school student you shook hands with on February 28 at the Utah Capitol.

Thank you for the time you took to speak with me.

In our conversation, we spoke about compassion and empathy. We spoke about the suicide rates of my peers, and you promised you were assessing the implications of your proposed bill on transgender student-athletes.

But your actions during the last night of the Utah Legislative Session left me confused, conflicted, and scared as I watched the debate over HB11 on my phone.

You had told me your priority was to avoid a ban on transgender athletes while still “protecting women’s sports.” And yet you let a ban pass. Your vote, and the speech you gave to your colleagues on the House floor, helped that ban pass.

I am disheartened by your dishonesty. But, far more pressingly, I am afraid for the well-being and lives of my peers. These are my friends who you blatantly, and inaccurately, depicted as being unwelcome in our state, in our communities, and in our athletics.

When you shook my hand, I felt hope. When you looked in my eyes and told me you had compassion for all students, I felt your humanity. I felt you had space in your heart to em-

pathize with the population you have been persecuting.

Perhaps I was projecting.

Actions speak louder than words, and you have shown no compassion to the LGBTQ students who are begging you for it.

Rep. Birkeland, I cannot relate to you. I do not know what it is like to be cis and straight. I do not know what it is like to be a member of the Utah House of Representatives. I do not know what it is like to turn a blind eye to death, oppression, and betrayal. I do not know what it is like to value anything above the lives and well-being of children.

I don’t know what it is like to be in your position.

However, despite the fact that I cannot relate to you, my heart is filled with love for you. I felt your humanity when we met, and I believe all humans are deserving of love. I will continue to strive to empathize with you and your colleagues who voted for your bill.

I am saddened that you were not able to feel my humanity despite my efforts.

I hope that one day you will, despite not being able to relate with us, reciprocate the love and empathy we give you. I hope you can open your heart and begin to live according to your words to show genuine “compassion to all.” Q Em Jenkins is a student at Ben Lomond High School in Ogden, Utah. Em is on the Varsity Wrestling team.

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guest editorial

Utah’s 11th-hour antitrans legislative bomb

BY SUE ROBBINS

This year,

the Utah legislative session has been particularly brutal for the transgender community. While a bill banning health care for transgender youth was once again discussed, it received little attention due to the high visibility of a bill impacting transgender participation in sports. The fact that removing healthcare from an individual gets little attention speaks to the times we are in with country-wide attacks against the transgender community.

The sports bill traces back to last year.

In 2021, Rep. Kera Birkeland unveiled her bill and started the path that took us to this point. The first bill was a complete ban for transgender girls. We engaged with the sponsor on this bill, but there was little negotiation to be realized in this effort. There was a lot of work and testimony which completely revolved around defeating the bill. With sports, medical, and other bills introduced across the country, there was a sense of being under attack, and they were directly targeting our youth.

The sports bill passed through the House and then reached the Senate Health and Human Services Committee. At this hearing, the voices strongly supported the transgender community, including representatives from major medical organizations, Silicon Slopes, and universities. At the end of the testimonies, a surprising end to the discussion happened when the committee voted to adjourn, which basically tabled the bill. This gave us a sense of relief as we had protected our youth this time, knowing that the discussion wasn’t going away and more work lay ahead.

During committee, I regularly said that I would commit to meeting throughout the year to help with the understanding of how this effort impacts us. I also said it might take three years as there was much on which to work. We know that education is a slow path. So, starting in July, we met on four occasions with

large groups that included the sponsor and various government officials. We educated, gave stories, and offered up possible paths forward in each meeting.

Those that have talked with people who don’t understand our community can likely relate. These meetings were very hard on me. The development of strategy was a lot of work, but being in meetings and hearing people misgender and de-humanize you, even if from a position of ignorance, is a lot to work through so that you can keep offering up more education in a manner that it is accepted and not shutting down others from listening. This is the hard part of activism.

Two days before a November Interim Health and Human Services committee meeting, we received a draft from the sponsor, which stated that transgender girls could participate if they had changed their birth certificate and had been on hormone therapy for a year. If a transgender boy was taking testosterone, they would immediately be able to compete in boys’ sports. The last part is not something that is actually a problem for us, but its presence feeds the narrative that testosterone makes us stronger, bigger, faster.

This bill was the first revision submitted to the 2022 legislative general session, but it didn’t last long. This was right as Lia Thomas, a Pennsylvania State swimmer, started to have success winning meets and setting conference records. I am so happy for Lia realizing goals from some long, hard work, some of which was done while attending college and also while transitioning. Throughout the discussions on sports bills, I stated that as long as we aren’t noticed, there isn’t an issue. Once we start to be successful, efforts are developed to take that success away and make us invisible again. With Lia’s success, this triggered that direction again.

We met with the sponsor, along with others involved, and discussed possibilities to pull the wording back to be less damaging. A commission became the standard narrative, and while we then

worked to make it be more medically-based to be appropriate, it was first filled with sports-related people and statisticians. Again, we are being judged on the dimensions of our bodies. The lack of understanding of transgender bodies had us being held separately.

Through our discussions, we were able to get a doctor added who had experience treating transgender individuals and a general therapist that we requested have transgender affirming experience. We were rejected. This set a theme that we would have little impact on significant items. We asked for privacy considerations for the youth, and that is one area that we were able to impact.

At this point, the bill passed the House and was assigned to the Senate Business and Labor committee. We remained opposed to the bill due to the commission’s construction, the manner they were selected, and a horrible and hurtful list of physical characteristics that the youth would be judged on, among other considerations.

The bill passed committee on a 3–2 vote, with the two against appearing to be concerned about its constitutionality.

In our final meeting, one that was held with the governor and lt. governor, there was discussion on removing the characteristics and at that point, we were left waiting to see what the final presentation to the Senate would be. Our expectation was that the characteristics would be removed and potentially Middle School would no longer be impacted, a request from the Utah High School Athletics Association, who was charged with administering the process and was PHOTO: TROY WILLIAMS

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very concerned with the responsibilities being placed on them. Note they are a High School related organization being asked to get involved in Middle School sports, a large increase in mission for a non-governmental organization.

The last day of the legislative session arrived, and our final meeting was more than a week in the past. While we hadn’t received any updates and were feeling left in the dark after so much conversation, we knew something would have to happen this day. The morning started with a flurry of activity and substitute bill 3 came out. This change removed most of the characteristics but left height and weight in the wording, which felt like it was part making a concession and part making sure we knew it was still about our bodies. A poke in the eye.

There were two sessions left scheduled for the day, so I went to sit in the Senate gallery to be ready to hear debate when the bill was brought up. I posted on social media that I was there, and the bill could be heard at any time, and because of that received a message that the bill wasn’t going to be heard until after 5 p.m., the end of the candidate filing period.

At 3:30, as I was watching the proceedings, Senators Kitchen and Riebe waved at me, and then I received a text to be their guest on the Senate floor. I accepted and went down as it gave me an opportunity to discuss the bill with them and those around them. Sitting across the aisle was Sen. Anderegg, who I have had a lot of discussions with and find this is a topic that he struggles with, and we had a good discussion. Sens. Thatcher, Iwamoto, Kennedy, Escamilla, and Davis all stopped to talk with me. Sen Weiler indicated he would be a no vote, as his committee stance. The first of the two sessions ended at 5:30 p.m. and the bill hadn’t yet come up.

After the break, we discussed whether I should be on the floor or if it was better if I returned to the gallery and I was invited to stay on the floor. We hoped that my presence on the floor as the bill was debated could soften the tone of some voices.

At 8:30 p.m. was when the bomb dropped. Substitute bill 4 came out and was putting a ban in place with a caveat that if a court enjoined it, then we would

revert to the commission that had been in the bill. This caught us, and apparently, all the Democrats off guard. We were frantically reading it and discussing what we saw. The commission with all its problems was no longer being discussed and instead it was all about the ban. This is not the Utah Way! As the bill came up, the Democrats requested the bill be circled, a method to pause action, so that they could have 15 minutes to read the bill and caucus on it. Their request was voted down.

The debate was long, and the Democrat Senators were amazing in their support and voice on the community’s behalf. I can’t thank them enough for their words, understanding, and vigor in the debate. Sen Thatcher gave an emotional speech on how transgender youth touched him and we should be giving them love instead. He mentioned the SafeUT app recognizing the impact this change could have on our youth.

In the back of the chamber were Democrat representatives as the House was on its break. They were listening in and discussing strategy and I walked back and talked with them. Always a champion on our side and two I engage with a lot, Reps Dailey-Provost and Stoddard, and I sympathized. Rep Bennion, a parent of a transgender youth, and I shared tears and hugged. Rep Briscoe shared his heartful thoughts. I looked to my left and saw Rep Judkins to the side, whom I have had many amazing discussions with, and we shared a look of sorrow.

On the Senate floor, there was some painful wording coming out of some senators. “Male biology” is the misdirection used to attack transgender girls, and it was used voraciously, which had me wishing I could shout out loud how wrong that was.

There were points that were sometimes de-humanizing, including comparing our participation to a race between fillies and stallions. The debate was hard to hear.

As the vote happened, there were a few who stated they were voting no due to disagreeing with the process the bill went through. They didn’t like the lack of community input and debate on its merits.

The bill passed 16–13. Immediately, the governor announced that he was planning to veto the bill. With that announce-

ment, I heard the House was discussing whether to even bring it up for a vote. I felt immediate gratitude to the governor for his continued love for our youth and consideration of the harm placed on them.

As I walked out of the chambers, I received many hugs. Once outside, the Equality Utah team was there, and you could feel how it impacted everyone. A friend with a transgender youth had been in the gallery and said they couldn’t go listen in on the House as it had been too much of an emotional drain already.

Immediately I was asked to do interviews, which is how it will always work, but you are caught in a very emotional time. It becomes hard to process your words, and maybe that is a good thing.

We decided to go off-site to strategize instead of sit in the House gallery due to the bombshell change and subsequent governor’s announcement. We viewed by video as the House proceeded. It was a much shorter debate in that chamber, likely due to the knowledge of the pending veto. The bill passed 46–29 to then head to the governor, and at press time, we are waiting for him to receive it.

I am left feeling a lot to process this session. We usually come into a session opposing bills and have had great success, so this was certainly different.

A lot of continued work was put in throughout the year, not only in those meetings with the sponsor, but with many others so that we could educate and try and have a fair path. Then, in the end, all that work was ignored, and it became a full attack on our youth.

I do believe our work and all the impactful stories the community shared with their legislators did change some minds, which contributed to the current veto-proof vote results. We need to keep this up. Progress isn’t always as apparent, and we must remind ourselves of that.

This article is part of processing my feelings, and as I look into the year as the pandemic lifts, I hope that all of us can come together and process this as a community so we can proudly move forward. Q Sue Robbins sits on the Equality Utah Transgender Advisory Council and is a past Board Chair of the Utah Pride Center and Transgender Education Advocates of Utah.

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who’s your daddy

We’re here

BY CHRISTOPHER KATIS

One of

the cool parts about being a parent is that you get a chance to go to movies that you probably wouldn’t otherwise see.

One of the very first films I ever saw as a dad was Horton Hears a Who!, which was based on the great Dr. Seuss classic by the same name. In a nutshell, an elephant named Horton finds a speck of dust on which live the entire population of a little place called Whoville. The problem is, no one else can see or hear the Whos, so no one believes Horton.

Why am I sharing this? Recently, the Florida State Legislature passed the “Parental Rights in Education” bill, better known as the “Don’t Say Gay” bill. By the time you read this column, Gov. DeSantis, who in an attempt to brandish his conservative pedigree ahead of a 2024 presidential bid, has indicated his enthusiastic support for the bill and will likely have signed it into law.

Not surprisingly, this discriminatory law is wrapped in a banner of parental rights — letting mom and dad decide what their kindergartners through third-graders should learn about sexual

orientation and gender identity. On paper, that doesn’t seem too unreasonable. But what’s written on paper and what’s reality oftentimes don’t jive.

The bill says, “Classroom instruction by school personnel or third parties on sexual orientation or gender identity may not occur in kindergarten through grade 3 or in a manner that is not age-appropriate or developmentally appropriate”. Some opponents have argued that those terms are so broad that any discussion whatsoever, at any grade level, could potentially lead to legal action by offended parents.

What offends me is this idea that there is one type of family: Mom and Dad and 2.5 kids. Whether DeSantis and the Florida Republican Party want to recognize it or not, there are many different types of families, including those like mine.

How will teachers navigate discussions about all families? Maybe the brilliant Kate McKinnon was on to something when she joked recently on Saturday Night Live, it would be like one kid saying he lives with his parents and another one having to say he lives with “two adult men, who bought him as a baby.”

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But as terrible as it is, Don’t Say Gay could’ve been a lot worse. An amendment was proposed that would have required teachers to out any LGBTQ+ kids to their parents within six weeks. I don’t know what the senator who offered the amendment was thinking, but I do know it would have put thousands of queer kids in danger. According to the Center for American Progress, an estimated 1.6 to 2.8 million LGBTQ+ youth in this country are homeless. They comprise between 20 and 40 percent of all homeless youth. Over 60 percent of those gay kids say they experienced discrimination from their families.

But I’m sure there are no LGBTQ+ kids or families headed by two dads, two moms, or a trans parent in Florida.

The way I see it, the Republicans in the Sunshine State don’t see families like mine or gay kids like I was. We’re like the Whos in Whoville. And that makes Gov. Ron DeSantis the evil Kangaroo in Dr. Seuss’s cautionary tale. Kangaroo just will not believe the Whos are there.

In the end, the Whos all rally to save themselves. The tiniest of whom (ha!

See what I did there) breaks through the silence and in the nick of time, the entirety of Whoville is saved by shouts of “We’re Here! We’re Here! We’re Here!” Gov. DeSantis, queer families — and queer kids — are here. Q

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creep of the month

Texas Gov. Greg Abbott

BY D’ANNE WITKOWSKI

Texas and

Florida continue competing in their race to be named The Worst State in the U.S. It’s an absolutely exhausting display of anti-LGBTQ+ bigotry, especially exhausting for LGBTQ+ people and their families. People are under enough stress, damn it. Between the pandemic and the Russian invasion of Ukraine, who on earth has time to go out of their way to harm LGBTQ+ people and their families?

Republicans, of course.

In Florida the so-called “don’t say gay” bill passed in the House and will likely pass in the Republican controlled Senate before it goes to the desk of Republican Gov. Ron DeSantis, a man with as much backbone as a shirt and slacks filled with a few cans of Great Stuff spray foam. Will he take a brave stance and not sign this bill he has already praised? Oh, the suspense.

Meanwhile, Texas Gov. Greg Abbott, also a Republican, has ordered the Texas Department of Family and Protective Services (DFPS) to investigate parents for “child abuse” if they are providing trans-related medical care for their trans kid.

In a Feb. 23 statement, Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton, also an anti-LGBTQ+ creep, said, “There is no doubt that these procedures are ‘abuse’ under Texas law, and thus must be halted. [DFPS] has a responsibility to act accordingly. I’ll do everything I can to protect against those who take advantage of and harm young Texans.”

Everything he can, huh? It doesn’t seem like he’s doing a very good job. According to KXAN, “Two-hundred and fifty-one children in Texas died in 2020 due to abuse and neglect: and these types of incidents are making an unfortunate spike.”

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but child abuse is very serious. We’ve all heard the horror stories about kids who were being abused and fell through the cracks in a system that was supposedly designed to protect them. But if you talk to any case worker at a place like DFPS, I suspect they’re not going to say, “If anything, we have TOO many resources and are doing

TOO much for the people we serve. Please add culture-war bullshit to our workload.

We are tired of playing hours and hours of spider solitaire on our work computers.”

While there isn’t much in the way of good news here, according to the ACLU, the letter Gov. Abbot and sent to DFPS isn’t legally binding.

The letter has “no legal effect, can’t change Texas law, and can’t override the constitutional rights of Texas families. No court anywhere in the country has ever found that gender-affirming care can be considered child abuse,” ACLU wrote in a Feb. 23 tweet.

Still, stigmatizing the parents of trans children as child abusers causes real harm. “Although these materials are not legally binding,” the ACLU tweet continued, “they spread fear and misinformation and could spur false reporting of child abuse at a time when trans youth continue to be threatened by state leadership as part of a politically motivated misinformation campaign.”

In defense of Republicans, “politically motivated misinformation” is, like, their thing. It’s one of the few things they’re good at. So you can’t blame them for trying! I’m kidding, you can totally

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blame them for trying. This is awful and they should be ashamed of themselves.

But they aren’t. They never are.

Thankfully, there is real pushback against Abbot’s directive. According to NBC News, Christian Menefee, an elected attorney in Harris County who handles civil child abuse cases for DFPS in Harris County, said “My office will not participate in these bad faith political games. As the lawyers handling these cases, we owe a duty of candor to the courts about what the law really says.

We’ll continue to follow the laws on the books — not General Paxton’s politically motivated and legally incorrect ‘opinion.’”

NBC also reports that the American Medical Association, the American Academy of Pediatrics, the American Psychological Association, and The Endocrine Society all support gender-affirming care, with the The Endocrine Society stating, “Medical evidence, not politics, should inform treatment decisions.”

And we all know how Republicans feel about medical evidence.

No doubt Republicans across the country have plenty of garbage like this up their sleeves. No matter where you live, reach out to the trans folks and families you know. Let them know you’re thinking about them and that there is nothing wrong with them. And vote Republicans out. All of ‘em, everywhere. Q D’Anne Witkowski is a writer living with her wife and son.

She has been writing about LGBTQ+ politics for nearly two decades. Follow her on Twitter @MamaDWitkowski.

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lambda lore

David & Charlie

The relationship between Joseph Smith’s youngest son and another man Part 2

BY BEN WILLIAMS

David Smith

returned to Utah in July 1872 on another church mission. While in Utah, he “seemed to lose the sense of his religious purpose.”

He even attended some Spiritualist seances to contact his father, whom he never knew. Charles would later blame David’s involvement in Spiritualism for his mental illness, believing an evil spirit had controlled him.

However, historians believe that David’s breakdown was probably due to the fact that while in Utah, he discovered accurate information about the origin of polygamy, which was “more compelling than seances,” and that his mother’s adamant denial of Joseph Smith practicing polygamy was false.

During much of the nine months he was in the west, David wrote letters to Charles Jensen in which the strength of their love and friendship was evident. In one, he mentioned bathing in the warm springs now known as Warm Springs Park. He wrote to Charles, “Oh, if you could have been with me.

I wish you were here, and we would go up the mountain and spend a day and rambling, take a lunch basket and a bottle of pop. Well love me long.”

Charles Jensen was born in Denmark.

While there is no record of a father, his mother Catherine converted to Mormonism and came to Salt Lake City in 1854. She later became dissatisfied with the doctrine of polygamy and returned with her son to Council Bluffs, Iowa, in the summer of 1857. His mother settled among other disaffected Scandinavian Mormons. Charles walked most of the way across the plains back to Council Bluff when he was 10 years old, where he lived out the remainder of his life. The 1860 federal census listed his mother as a “washer woman,” and his mother would marry in 1864

when Charles was seven years old.

After a branch of the RLDS church was established in Council Bluff, Charles Jensen attended the North star Branch where Charles and David met as youths in 1863. David Smith was 19, and Charles Jensen was 16. Afterwards, whenever David Smith visited the branch in Council Bluff, he would stay with Charles’ family, and as was the frontier custom, they would share a bed.

Charles and David were “close friends” from 1869 until late 1873 when Smith’s “mental breakdown made him too deranged to sustain it. However, Jensen was said to have been loyal to him “to the end.”

Charles was baptized by Joseph Smith III as a member of the Reorganized Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in 1871 when he was 24 in Council Bluffs. He never married and declined to accept ordination to the priesthood, never offering a reason for his decision, although he attended the Council Bluffs Branch and served as a Sunday school teacher, a superintendent, a district clerk, and a historian. He was a faithful member until his death, and in his will, he left some of his estate to the Council Bluff branch of the RLDS church to support the poor.

In many of David’s letters written while in Utah, the subject of marriage was discussed in order to cure Charles’ complaints of his loneliness and perhaps to curb his expression of his love for David, which caused Smith to exhort Jensen to marry as he had in 1870. When Charles told David that he “decided never to marry,” Smith assured him, “that each person’s life choices are uniquely his own,” but counseled him to “seek out the company of women” and “appoint some young and handsome lady to embrace you for me.”

In one letter, Charles wrote David that he was a “bad egg.” David wrote

him that was “nonsense.” Smith referred to Jensen as a “good man” and suggested he consult a doctor if he felt “sick.”

Charles probably was referring to his attachment to David as a sickness.

In one of the many letters to “Charlie”, David wrote “keep me in a warm place in your heart Charles, for I too feel the world to be a cold and cheerless at times.” Also, in one, he wrote, “Dear friend Charlie, I would be a friend, would do good, and am under great obligation to you for many a good turn. But I am naturally bad at heart, so do not trust me; think just as much of me as you please, but do not place confidence in me for human nature is weak and I am a weak specimen; so, take me with all due allowances, or you may be disappointed.”

At one point on his mission, David “suffered a complete physical and emotional breakdown.” The Salt Lake Tribune wrote a blurb stating that David was suffering from “Brain Fever,” which was the 19th-century term for an emotional and mental collapse.

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Later, answering a letter where Charles must have confided his love for him, David wrote “I do not intend to drop you” and “you know nothing of the real shadows of darkness. I believe, at any rate, assured that having

as I do the depth of your affectionate nature, I can readily guess the direction those imperfections would take.”

In 1873 Charles may have written regarding trying to suppress his feelings for David, as he wrote back to Charles, “you must not become too good my gentle friend, or your poor caring favorite will be left behind, unworthy as he is and will feel as he had no friend. Your friend that would be.”

David returned home in the spring of 1873 in the care of Josiah Ells, an RLDS apostle. Not knowing of David’s severe illness, his brother Joseph Smith III, President of the RLDS church called him to serve in the First Presidency in April. David seemed to feel better away from Utah.

He and his wife set up housekeeping in Plano, Illinois, the church’s headquarters, “but his illness overtook him, and he was never well enough to serve in that capacity due to ongoing bouts of depression and confusion.” David was unable to fulfill his responsibility in the First

Presidency. His brother, however, refused to release him from that position which he held until his death. Joseph Smith III claimed that God had called David to that office, and only God could release him.

David’s marriage had not brought the “emotional fulfillment” he desired, and he may have been thinking of Charles when he penned this poem: “Through this cold world we must smother, Each feeling that once was so dear, Like that young bird I’ll seek to discover, A home of affection elsewhere, The heart may cling to thee fondly, And dream of sweet memories past, Yet hope like the rainbow of summer, Gives a promise of life at last.”

The last coherent letter to Charles from David was wriiten in 1874. From 1874 through 1876, David’s family struggled to care for him, “passing him back and forth between Plano, Illinois and Lamoni, Iowa. “When he became violent, it was decided there was nothing that could be done except to place him in the asylum for the mentally ill in Elgin, Illinois.

Joseph Smith III took this sad step on 19 January 1877. David was thirty-two.”

Charles stayed involved in David’s life even after his mental collapse, and Joseph Smith III was said to have “found in Charles a trusted and sympathetic ear,” as that David’s wife had moved away from the Smiths.

For the rest of his life, David had “times of lucid thought but it did not last. His book, “Hesperis,” a book of Poems published in 1875, brought a small income to his wife and child who left Illinois and moved to Iowa to raise her son near her own parents.

The family struggled financially.

Some suggested that David’s illness was brought about from being attacked in Utah, even poisoned, but his brother denied it. “His emotional and physical breakdown was not due to his missionary labors in Utah as some mistakenly implied.”

David died in 1904, three months short of his sixtieth birthday. Charles remained in Council Bluff, where he worked as a salesman for a druggist and bought his own home. He died in 1925 and was buried next to his mother. Q

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Planning Your Wedding Now that

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For Everyone’s Wedding Flower Needs

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Power, Putin, and, Yes, the Tiger King

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John Cameron Mitchell on what we can learn about abusing authority from Joe Exotic

BY CHRIS AZZOPARDI

What could

Joe “Tiger King” Exotic and fictional genderqueer arthouse punk-rocker Hedwig Robinson possibly have in common?

John Cameron Mitchell.

And so, the Farrah Fawcett wig comes off the 58-year-old actor who created Hedwig and brought her Off-Broadway in 1998, before “Hedwig and the Angry Inch” became a cult indie film three years later, in 2001. Instead, to portray the wildly controversial and buzzy gay subject of the Netflix docuseries “Tiger King” for the new Peacock series “Joe vs. Carole,” Mitchell’s rocking a “Bring Me Some Water”-era Melissa Etheridge mullet.

In this eight-episode dramatization of Exotic’s ludicrous run as the Oklahoma zookeeper infamous for his cruel treatment of animals and his plot to kill animal rights activist Carole Baskin (played here by Kate McKinnon), Mitchell slips out of Hedwig’s heels and into Joe’s cowboy boots. (Exotic is currently serving a 21-year prison sentencing for hiring two men to kill Baskin.) The purely scandalous story told in the Netflix series is still scandalous — how could it not be? — but with a humanizing bent to it. You might even find yourself liking the guy.

Which, as we’ve seen with the Trumps and Putins of the

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world, is a slippery and dangerous slope.

From his apartment in New York, Mitchell, who recently came out as non-binary, spoke about why Joe Exotic is “the real Trump,” a podcast he’s working on that takes on cancel culture, and how this generation’s wokeisms are inadvertently working against the very allies they seek.

I’ve followed your career for a long time, and being this indie art guy, a lead role in a Peacock series must feel like a big moment. I’m old enough to know that it comes and goes. I was able to buy a house for the first time. I’ve always kept my overhead low. And I was like, well, I’m getting older. And so this came along and it was a dream job. I loved everybody. I had a great time. They took my input.

Kate’s amazing. Etan [Frankel], the showrunner, is amazing. And we shot in Australia, which was very fun and comfortable at the time. I had more fun acting in this on screen than in Hedwig because I had too much responsibility in Hedwig.

Wait, so “Joe vs. Carole” allowed you to buy the house? Yes. It’s called money, baby.

It’s a mainstream thing. I’m considering another job right now, whether I want to commit to a multiyear thing, but we’ll see. Nice to have options. I’m working on another fictional podcast, which is very fun. This one’s more zany and of-the-moment. Kind of on the subject of cancellation. It’s time to bring our wisdom and humor to bear on a somewhat humorless subject. And I’m also working on a TV series. Pitching a musical TV series. And continuing touring here and there with my concerts.

With “Joe vs. Carole,” I think it’s important to acknowledge that you and Kate, two queer icons, are at the center of this story.

There’s something very special about that for me. I wish we had more to do because we really hit it off and I’m writing her something now I hope she’ll do. Kate and I both obviously have strong opinions about our characters and about humor and about how the characters should be played. Because we’re not really doing the real people; we’re doing an interpretation

of them. She’s much funnier than the real Carole. I’m adding my own things to it.

It’s maybe 50 percent the real people and 50 percent what we’re bringing to it. Because we’re not doing a “Saturday Night Live” sketch. We’re not doing a karaoke version. We’re wanting to have a full emotional experience. And we’re guessing, also, what these characters might be like when they’re not on camera. And that’s a wonderful thing. We had enough freedom and Etan, the showrunner, was open to that. He cast two queer people in a kind of queer story. And when you see it, it actually feels very queer. The way it’s shot, even. It’s very artificial with hopefully an emotional center. It feels like it’s, perhaps, in that Hedwig model, where you’re not stinting on the humor and the camp, but we’re also honoring the people as real people who’ve been through shit.

Did you recognize that the series’ queerness would extend to its direction, as well, before you signed on? I didn’t really know about the way it was shooting. Justin Tipping, one of the directors, came up with the way it’s shot. It has certain homages to the Coen brothers, to Danny Boyle, to Hedwig even. It’s highly artificial until it gets real. And that’s how their lives seem.

They’re sui generis people. They came from trauma, but they triumphed and created their own kingdoms. But then got corrupted by that power, I think. Joe and Carole could have been buddies. Kate and I even had an improv where we just started making out in a dream sequence.

It was improvised. They didn’t keep it in and they won’t let me put it on my Instagram because a lesbian’s kissing a gay man and that’s wrong. Seems right to me.

Seems very right to me. Yes. Well, I’ll just have to make it happen in another project.

The one that you’re writing for Kate? That’s for a podcast. We’ll still kiss on the podcast.

I didn’t realize that “Joe vs. Carole” was going to humanize these characters in the way that it has. And there’s so much about Joe that we learned from the series

that I didn’t from the docuseries. Because you know, he’s larger than life and, to America, he’s a kind of “Duck Dynasty”-meets-“Real Housewives” [personality]. He’s not a real person. He’s a paper tiger that’s entertaining and maybe not necessarily empathetic. I actually think when you watch him, he’s so eager to please that you want to hug him and take the gun out of his holster and throw it in the river. And Carole presented a more controlled facade, in a kind of Hillary Clinton way. Which turned people against her, partly because of misogyny.

But that’s her defense. And that was Hillary’s defense — to hold it together.

Joe screams about being tough, but you can tell [he] isn’t. He’s a megalomaniac, but he’s not exactly tough. It’s like Trump. If you keep saying you’re the best, you know there’s a hole in your soul if you have to keep reminding yourself. We all know the people who don’t mention it are the strong ones.

So then what do these people do? They exert their power, they become bullies. They still do. And they can abuse it. Because they have to prop themselves up. That’s what Putin is in a more calculated way. Trump is too inept to be a Putin. But he still engenders popularity amongst people who love a dictator, who want a daddy, and they’re willing to ignore the facts because they think he’s authentic. I don’t know how someone who’s a Thanksgiving Day balloon can appear authentic. And a man of the people when he was born with a silver spoon up his ass. And Joe is the real Trump. He’s from the dirt. He made himself. Nobody handed him millions.

Though, he did build the zoo with his brother’s insurance. And he became a very abusive person, but he’s also a human being.

It dawned on me while watching this that you were born in Texas and raised in Kansas. How did your own origin story help you understand Joe when it came to an understanding of being gay in the South? It was not exactly the South. I would call it more rural America. Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas are kind of this lower

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Midwest thing that’s different from the South. East Texas is more Southern. I’m from west Texas, which is more cowboy than Southern gentility. But we did live an hour from where his zoo was before the zoo in Fort Sill. And Saff [Saffery], the trans man whose arm is eaten off [by a tiger], is stationed there, actually.

So I’m conversing with my old friends from Kansas, high school friends, and they’re all like, “Johnny, you got it, you got the accent,” and I’m like, “I know; I grew up with all you all.” And so that makes me feel good that they bought it. Because I hadn’t been there in a while. But when I go back I feel that it’s in my bones the way I do when I’m in Scotland too. My mother’s Scottish, my dad’s American. And I’ve moved around a lot, and I had to feel comfortable in different places. Changed my accent.

That’s why I became an actor. But I like the “say a few things in a minimal way, kind of Midwestern” thing. Texan is more loquacious. But Oklahoma, Kansas, Nebraska, Missouri — that’s all like, just say what you mean, try to mean it, say it in a few words. So there’s a warmth and not getting carried away with things. Which I love about it.

And I think that’s probably why Joe didn’t move. Another queer person would go to the big city. I mean, he went to Dallas for a bit, but it [wasn’t] exactly the same as New York or California at that time. So queer people at that time had three options. You either keep your head down and stay in your small community and become the hairdresser or the lesbian gym coach and just keep it quiet and have your wife or husband and maybe just shut up and help people out. That’s a valid way

Qsaltlake.com |

of living. Or you leave and go to the big city and find your queer community. Or you do what Joe did, which was make a community. Build a fortress in the rural area called a zoo or a pet shop or a drag parlor. And I identify with that because, though I did leave, I create my communities. My temporary creative communities with movies and shows and podcasts and the unwanted animals, the misfits with skills, come there and have a good time. But I know that it will end at some point before the infighting can begin, unlike the zoo. So I love a temporary community.

And he just dragged that on for too long. And when you have ex-cons and rehab folks and you’re not paying them well, it’s going to end in tears. If you seek out lovers who are lost themselves, and there’s drugs involved, you know there’s going to be trouble. I feel like his first relationship was the most stable. Even though I think his husband had a drug problem and died of AIDS, that was [his] most healthy relationship. He was grounding for Joe and he had as much power as Joe. Later, he sought out people that he could Lord over, but save as well. There’s a thin line between savior and cult leader.

I was thinking about the physicality of Joe, because there’s a lot going on here. And none of it is really you. And that includes the wig, the facial hair, of which you have none, the jewelry, the tats and the shiny tiger print shirts. What piece really helped you transform into Joe? A cowboy boot with a heel gives you something, a way of walking. All of it together felt like drag, felt like armor. So when I get into the wig and the makeup and the costumes, it’s the same as Hedwig. And in fact, the characters have a lot in common. They’re both misfits who create their own world to survive it and lash out at people because of their early trauma. Lord over people.

Hedwig breaks that cycle. Joe doesn’t.

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Watching you I was like, “Oh yeah, this is like dressing up as Hedwig.” I felt like a drag king. I felt like a lesbian identified gay man. The Melissa Etheridge mullet and all.

Switching gears, let’s talk about “Shortbus,” your 2006 film that has been remastered in 4K and is currently screening across the U.S. before its Blu-ray and streaming release later this year. How do you think “Shortbus” plays to younger generations who are seeing it for the first time? The screenings I’ve been to with people who remember it and people who it’s new to — young people — is interesting. The older people who saw it in their 20s and 30s were like, “Gosh, that sex is like whatever now, but it’s the deeper stuff that really gets me now.” And the young people are like, “People have sex like that?” They’re all like, “Is there a consent issue?” They’re looking for something un-PC about it and they can’t quite figure out what it is.

They love it. But they’re being taught lately they have to find trouble with most things. One of them who loved the film said, “What would you say if someone” — a very journalist way of saying what they’re thinking, “said, ‘Is it your right to tell the story of an Asian woman who can’t have an orgasm?’” And I said, “Well, to that person, whoever said that, which is not you, I would say, it is my story.

We developed this together.” There’s elements of me, and I’m a Toni Morrison fan. When Toni’s students were like, “I’m going to write about my going to Europe,” she was like, “You will not. You will write about something you don’t know anything about. You, little Black girl, are going to write about that white frat boy in Houston. And you’re going to find out what that world is and you’re going to enter it.” And that is the beginning of empathy. There’s no other purpose for fiction.

If you keep splitting those hairs looking for trouble, you stop the organ called empathy. You clog it with unnecessary wokeisms that have good intentions.

They cloud the mind, and they stop you from feeling. And they do Trump’s work, and you start lashing out at your natural friends and allies. That’s what he wants us to do, kill each other so he can take over.

That seems like your jumping off point for the podcast you’re working on. Exactly.

So when someone said that,“Have you considered remaking ‘Shortbus’ with a

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more diverse cast?” I’m like, “Why not talk to that other woman who said it’s not my story to tell?” We made this film with the very few handful of people who were willing to go into that sexual realm. And I wanted it to be as diverse as possible. But I also got who I got and I was very happy with them. I couldn’t find a lesbian couple, for example, who wanted to do it. So I recreated it. And I work with people who are in effect playing versions of themselves. “Shortbus” is as authentic as anything I’ve ever made in terms of the reality of these characters, the reality of the setting, the reality of the extras. No one had a problem on that film. Whereas today I don’t think it could be made because of the panic about sex and representation and everything else.

I wondered about the sex in particular, because I know it’s not simulated, but we have shows like “Euphoria” where we’re seeing a lot more frank sex in content. It’s still grim, though. God. It’s still depressing sex. Depression porn.

“Shortbus” was not depressing sex. I remember feeling sexually empowered by watching it. Good. God knows there are very creative people in the world. I think they’re being clogged. A lot of people turn to me, my young friends, and say, “How do I get rid of that feeling?” Because they know that my work embodies following your impulses in a disciplined way and not being afraid of not fitting in, or being famous, or being rich. There was something called art for art’s sake. That would be my drag king name — Art for Art’s Sake. May be even better than Hell of a Bottom Carter.

You have to play. This is your time to play. Now that COVID is over, it’s your time to travel to get out of this hamster wheel of American social media. Go to Latin America, go somewhere you’ve never been and find out that other people are living in different ways. We’re shocked by what’s happening in Ukraine. I think what’s happening there is a fucking a tragedy and a crime. But at least it’s reminding people that we’re human. Q Chris Azzopardi is the Editorial Director of Pride Source Media Group and Q Syndicate. He has interviewed a multitude of superstars, including Cher, Meryl Streep, Mariah Carey and Beyoncé. His work has also appeared in The New York Times, Vanity Fair, GQ and Billboard. Reach him via Twitter @chrisazzopardi.

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42 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | COMICS

Shortbus

44 Beat, but barely 45 More of the response ACROSS 1 They may burn lovers 48 She had her hand up Lamb Chop on the floor 50 Elton John’s source 5 Fragments of “The for “Aida” Glass Menagerie” 53 How some like it 9 “Beat it!”

54 Seaport of Italia 13 Tibet setting 59 Son of Abe 14 Fox comedy with 60 End of the response Jane Lynch 63 X-rated material 15 Poet Teasdale 16 Statement by Sofia 64 Steed stopper 65 Da Vinci’s Lisa in “Shortbus” 66 Big name in pumps 19 Curry of Rocky 67 Nuts Horror fame 68 “The ___ the limit!”

20 One who’s “out” 21 Comics cry DOWN 22 Trick alternative 1 Singer Bonnie 24 Nervous sort 2 Name on jetliners, 26 Start of Jamie’s once response to Sofia 3 Easy putt for 31 Cheesy side trip from Spencer-Devlin Amsterdam 4 Type of sucker 34 Mine, to Rimbaud 5 Like a chickenhawk 35 Station wagon, e.g.

6 Lump of earth 39 Tara portrayer 7 Six years for a Collette senator Baldwin 40 Actor Rip 8 Video game name 41 Chew like a mouse 9 Sound of an inflated 42 Direction from Susan doll leak Feniger 10 “Lawrence of Arabia” ride 43 “___ you not” PUZZLE SOLUTIONS ON PAGE 37

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11 12 17 18 23 25 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 36 37 38 46 47 48 49 51 52 55

Princess with fins Tasteless Magazine section Jodie Foster’s role with the King Valentine sender Place for trinkets Try a Rick Rodgers cookbook, e.g.

Like gay bars that allow cigars Hope-Crosby flick, “Road ___” Gandhi, e.g.

Cause of Venus envy?

Decimal point Some Disney employees Saw to Touching children’s game Be in debt to “It ___ Necessarily So” Word on a map of Israel Triangle, e.g.

Migratory guys Kaye of “Hans Christian Anderson” Think tank products It can give a drag queen smooth legs

56 Hart Crane work 57 Birth state of Langston Hughes

58 Like young Abe Lincoln

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61 Game with “Reverse” cards 62 Scrabble 3-pointers

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PUZZLES | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 43

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44 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | QMMUNITY

Qmmunity Groups BUSINESS

LGBTQ-Affirmative Psycho-therapists Guild of Utah  lgbtqtherapists.com * jim@lgbtqtherapists.com Utah LGBTQ+ Chamber of Commerce  utahlgbtqchamber.com * info@utahgaychamber.com LGBT & Allied Lawyers of Utah  lgbtutahlawyers.com * lgbtutahlawyers@gmail.com Utah Independent Business Coalition  utahindependentbusiness.org 801-879-4928 DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233 YWCA of Salt Lake  ywca.org/saltlakecity 322 E 300 S 801-537-8600 HEALTH & HIV

Utah AIDS Foundation  utahaids.org * mail@utahaids.org

1408 S 1100 E 801-487-2323 Weber-Morgan Health Mon., Weds 1-4:30p 477 23rd St, Ogden Appt 801-399-7250 HOMELESS SVCS

VOA Homeless Youth Resource Ctr, ages 15–21 880 S 400 W 801-364-0744 Transition Homes: Young Men’s 801-433-1713 Young Women’s 801-359-5545 LEGAL

Rainbow Law Free Clinic 2nd Thurs 6:30–7:30pm UofU Law School, 383 S University St POLITICAL

Equality Utah  equalityutah.org * info@equalityutah.org

175 W 200 S, Ste 1004 801-355-3479

Peer Support for Mental Illness — PSMI Thurs 7pm, Utah Pride Ctr

Utah Libertarian Party

Planned Parenthood 654 S 900 E 800-230-PLAN

Utah Log Cabin Republicans

Salt Lake County Health Dept HIV/STD Clinic 660 S 200 E, 4th Floor Walk-ins M–F 10a–4p Appts 385-468-4242

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RELIGIOUS

First Baptist Church  firstbaptist-slc.org * office@firstbaptistslc.org 11a Sundays 777 S 1300 E 801-582-4921 Sacred Light of Christ  slcchurch.org 823 S 600 E 801-595-0052 11a Sundays Wasatch Metropolitan Community Church  wasatchmcc.org 801-889-8764 Sundays except the 2nd Sunday, 11:15a at Crone’s Hollow, 3834 S. Main SOCIAL

1 to 5 Club (bisexual)  fb.me/1to5ClubUtah  1to5club@

utahpridecenter.org Alternative Garden Club  bit.ly/altgarden * altgardenclub@gmail.com blackBOARD Men’s Kink/Sex/BDSM education, 1st, 3rd Mons.  blackbootsslc.org blackBOOTS Kink/BDSM Men’s leather/kink/ fetish/BDSM 4th Sats.  blackbootsslc.org Gay Writes writing group, DiverseCity 6:30 pm 2nd, 4th Mondays, Community Writing Ctr, 210 E 400 S Men Who Move  menwhomove.org

OWLS of Utah (Older, Wiser, Lesbian. Sisters)  bit.ly/owlsutah qVinum Wine Tasting  qvinum.com Sage Utah, Seniors  fb.me/sageutah  sageutah@ utahpridecenter.org 801-557-9203 Temple Squares Square Dance Club  templesquares.org 801-449-1293 Utah Bears  utahbears.com  fb.me/utahbears  info@utahbears.com Weds 6pm Raw Bean Coffee, 611 W Temple Utah Male Naturists  umen.org  info@umen.org Utah Pride Center  utahpridecenter.org  info@utahpridecenter.org 1380 S Main St 801-539-8800 Venture OUT Utah  bit.ly/GetOutsideUtah SPORTS

QUAC — Queer Utah Aquatic Club  quacquac.org  questions@ quacquac.org Salt Lake Goodtime Bowling League  bit.ly/slgoodtime Stonewall Sports SLC  fb.me/SLCStonewall  stonewallsaltlakecity. leagueapps.com 385-243-1828 Utah Gay Football League  UtahGayFootballLeague.com  fb.me/UtahGayFootballLeague Venture Out Utah  facebook.com/groups/ Venture.OUT.Utah SUPPORT

OUT U.S. OLYMPIC MEN’S SLOPESTYLE SILVER MEDALIST GUS KENWORTHY

umen.org

Alcoholics Anonymous 801-484-7871  utahaa.org LGBT meetings: Sun. 3p Acceptance Group, All Saints Episcopal Church, 1710 Foothill Dr

Tues. 8p Live & Let Live, Mt Tabor Lutheran, 175 S 700 E Wed. 7p Sober Today, 1159 30th St , Ogden Wed. 7:30p, Sober AF, Zoom mtg ID 748 896 1508, Password SLQ2020 Fri. 7p Stonewall Group, Mt Tabor Lutheran, 175 S 700 E Crystal Meth Anon  crystalmeth.org Sun. 1:30pm Clean, Sober & Proud LGBTQIA+Straight USARA, 180 E 2100 S LifeRing Secular Recovery 801-608-8146  liferingutah.org Sun. 10am Univ. Neuropsychiatric Institute, 501 Chipeta Way #1566 Thurs. 7pm, USARA, 180 E 2100 S, #100 Sat. 11am, First Baptist Church, 777 S 1300 E Men’s Support Group  utahpridecenter. org/programs/lgbtqadults/  joshuabravo@ utahpridecenter.org Survivors of Suicide Attempt  bit.ly/upc_sosa  sosa@ utahpridecenter.org Trans Adult Support  utahpridecenter.org/ programs/lgbtq-adults/  lanegardinier@ utahpridecenter.org TransAction  utahpridecenter.org/ programs/transaction/ Sundays 2–3:30pm

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Youth Survivors of Suicide Attempt  utahpridecenter.org/ programs/youth-familyprograms/  youthsosa@ utahpridecenter.org YOUTH/COLLEGE

Encircle LGBTQ Family and Youth Resource Ctr  encircletogether.org fb.me/encircletogether 91 W 200 S, Provo, 331 S 600 E, SLC Families Like Ours (ages 2-10)  utahpridecenter.org/ programs/youth-familyprograms/ Gay-Straight Alliance Network  gsanetwork.org The OUT Foundation  theout.foundation  fb.me/theOUTfoundation Salt Lake Community College LGBTQ+ 8 slcc.edu/lgbtq/ University of Utah LGBT Resource Center 8 lgbt.utah.edu 200 S Central Campus Dr Rm 409 801-587-7973 USGA at BYU  usgabyu.com  fb.me/UsgaAtByu Utah State Univ. Access & Diversity Ctr  inclusion.usu.edu/ lgbtqa Utah Valley Univ Spectrum  facebook.com/ groups/uvuspectrum

Women’s Support Group  utahpridecenter.org/ programs/lgbtq-adults/  mariananibley@ utahpridecenter.org

Weber State University LGBT Resource Center  weber.edu/ lgbtresourcecenter 801-626-7271

Youth Support Group ages 10-14, 14-20

Youth Activity Night ages 10-14, 14-20  utahpridecenter.org/ programs/youth-familyprograms/

 utahpridecenter. org/programs/youthfamily-programs/

APRIL, 2022

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BOOK REVIEW | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 45

Qsaltlake.com

the bookworm sez REVIEW BY TERRI SCHLICHENMEYER

Ready When You Are

BY GARY LONESBOROUGH C.2022, SCHOLASTIC PUSH, $18.99, 245 PAGES

Loud thunder-booms. Spiders and snakes. The number thirteen, clowns, cemeteries, and heights.

There are a lot of things that you can fear, just as there are a lot of ways you can overcome phobias, if you want.

Vanquish those shivers by taking classes, being brave or, as in the new novel, “Ready When You Are” by Gary Lonesborough, you can let someone gently help you.

If he had to admit it, seventeen-year-old Jack-

q scopes APRIL BY SAM KELLEY-MILLS

son Barley had a love-hate relationship with Christmas.

He loved its traditions, and because it was something outof-the-ordinary. When hanging out with your mates on the Mish is all you normally do, it’s nice to have the holidays to break up the same-old.

But over Christmas break, his Aunty Pam always brought his cousins around and the house was full of little kids. Jackson loved his younger brother and his cousins, but man, could they make a racket!

This year, another thing was unusual: Aunty Pam arrived Christmas Eve with a teenager she was caring for, a boy named Tomas who’d just gotten out of juvie. Of course, Jackson’s mother said that Tomas could bunk in Jackson’s room and that wasn’t cool, not at first. Jackson’s mind was elsewhere: his girlfriend broke up with him for reasons he couldn’t discuss.

For most of his life, he had

known that he was “different.”

He tried to be like other boys, but it just didn’t work that way and he was afraid to even think about his feelings. And now there was this outlaw kid, another Aboriginal boy like him lying on a mattress in Jackson’s bedroom and oh, Tomas was beautiful.

But Jackson wasn’t gay, or at least he wasn’t ready to be. He wanted a summer with his mates, and girls, but he wanted Tomas to kiss him, too. How could he be true to himself? And what would people think?

There are three main characters inside “Ready When You Are”: Jackson, Tomas, and alcohol. Lots of alcohol, and teenagers who are often excessively drunk, which almost totally mars the sweetness of this novel. Put aside endless Outback parties and repetitous beach forays, though, and you might be charmed by this familiar-not-famil-

iar boy-meets-boy tale.

In placing his novel in an Aboriginal community, author Gary Lonesborough gives U.S. readers a unique setting and immersion in a culture where life feels more relaxed than perhaps they’re accustomed — but yet, coming-out struggles for gay teens still exist.

This leads to a story that, scene-for-scene, is predictible and common in YA romance novels ù an aspect the genre’s most fervent readers passionately rely on. They’ll also love Jackson, a boy in a man’s skin who acts responsibly and genuinely, but who’s not yet too self-assured about it. Life through his eyes is the best part of this book.

Though you’ll likely find this novel in the Young Adult section, it’s absolutely appropriate for grown-ups with fond memories of first love. “Ready When You Are” has its lows, but it might also make your heart go boom. Q

change the beat a little. Figuring out what you really want is a good move at this time of the year so go for it.

to something that provides comfort and find value by accomplishing something.

CAPRICORN Dec 21–Jan 19 A problem shows itself in the form of a financial crisis. While it might not seem prudent to address, a sense of urgency should not be ignored. Don’t worry though, because everything is bound to turn out well in the end.

Invest in something you really believe in and good things are to come soon.

ARIES March 20–April 19 Knowledge is power, but incomplete knowledge is corruption. Learn the facts and act appropriately. A subjective viewpoint will cause a commotion. Create some distance from others and work on yourself. While it isn’t easy to avoid a conflict, it is possible that a fabricated crisis will go away on its own.

CANCER June 21–July 22 What you feel about another person is likely to get back to them. This could lead to a very explosive moment for better or worse.

Whatever the case, act accordingly and see if you can find good in the situation. You may end up having a better time than expected, especially if romance becomes involved.

TAURUS Apr 20–May 20 When remaining calm doesn’t solve a personal matter, get angry. A little passionate yelling isn’t always the answer but could raise questions that are being avoided, so get mad. Put trust in no one right now. The longer you wait to take action on a pressing matter, the more likely it is to create a problem.

LEO July 23–August 22 Your mind is like a pool of ideas swimming rapidly. Nothing seems to come together, so it might be time for a break. Stop everything and prioritize. Don’t forget to add a little fun to the mix. Working on a project is driving you crazy so be sure to address what is bothering you the most. Don’t lose sight of joy.

GEMINI May 21–June 20 Work hasn’t been amazing, but a good opportunity is in the near future. Take a look and see if it is something you’d like. Change is not always the answer, but there are times when it is simply good to

VIRGO August 23–Sep. 2 The higher the structure, the more likely it is to fall. Keep grounded when dealing with a personal matter. Much of what troubles you has nothing to do with others, but something you are insecure about. Hold tight

LIBRA Sept 23–October 22 Others are trying to distract you but it’s not working. You are feeling good right now to be held back. A steep climb seems to be ahead, but you are getting over it fine. Someone close to you needs help, so be there to support.

Learn all the facts first. Bad advice can come even from the best of intentions.

SCORPIO Oct. 23–Nov. 21 What is tearing you apart is actually a good thing. Something will help you reconstruct life in a good way.

There are sometimes no good solutions, but in this case, a hidden blessing is bound to come to fruition. Don’t fear the warnings of others, but take them into account. You do know best.

SAGITTARIUS Nov. 22–December 20.

Mind your own business and keep clear of a situation that doesn’t concern you. There is love in the air and that should be on your mind. Someone you are involved with is expecting a surprise, so make it a good one. The more you try to catch this person off guard, the more likely you are to succeed.

AQUARIUS Jan. 20–Feb. 18 Find a partner and do some dancing because you are getting restless. Now is the time to get out there and show off your stuff. The most fun is to be had in a social situation or club. Friend will need some cheer and fun, and you provide that without even trying too hard. It is your time Aquarius!

PISCES Feb 19–Mar 19 Something long desired has arrived, and not quite what was expected. Even so, taking a step back will reveal the gains are better than you could have hoped.

Enjoy the success but do not take it for granted. While there is no standard in which to judge it, satisfaction is guaranteed. Be happy! Q

46 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | HEALTH

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APRIL, 2022

Positive Thoughts: As a Woman

BY BRIDGETTE PICOU

As a

woman, I know what it feels like to be invisible. As a Black woman that feeling is sometimes intensified. It gets juxtaposed with occasionally being the person everyone is looking at, but not really seeing. In a time of “racial reckoning” such as what’s currently going on in the world right now, the need to be seen, and heard, is more important than ever if we expect to elicit change.

Being a minority woman living with HIV comes with

a bit of invisibility. Forgive my bluntness, but I imagine being anything other than a gay man living with HIV is a little like that. I’m trying not to be offensive — only to live my truth by saying that.

But the truth always seems to offend someone these days.

My truth is that I am a Black woman living with HIV, and sometimes I struggle to be both seen and heard.

I struggled at the beginning of my diagnosis to find faces that looked like mine. Voices that sounded like mine.

Struggled to find services that considered my femininity and the unique experience of being a woman, let alone a Black woman. I struggle now to see regular representation in literature, research and media of our presence and place in the big picture.

According to UNAIDS, in 2020, 53 percent of people living with HIV were women and girls. Black folks, both male and female, are disproportionately affected by HIV. Yet, Black men, Black women, and really, women of any race, have never been seen as a face of what HIV could look like. Through no fault of their own, white gay men became “the face” of HIV/AIDS in the beginning of the epidemic. There are a lot of women’s organizations focusing on women and fighting for a seat at the table, but it shouldn’t be a fight.

Women have always contributed to caring for those living and dying with HIV. At the same time, they have often been left out of study trials. Even though strides and advancements have been made in treatments, life expectancy and quality of life, too many old stigmas and old prejudices persist. With statistics like the ones above, women need to be seen.

No matter who you are, in a crisis, identifying with others like you gives you the starting point for goals and boundaries and your journey to overcoming. Being seen

and heard in this space can be complicated. It’s a double-edged sword of wanting someone to understand and comfort your insecurities, but at the same time not wanting to open yourself up to hurt. You want to be seen but not stigmatized. You want to be heard, but you don’t want someone else to tell your story or your truth in a way that doesn’t honor you. When you’re living with HIV there are levels of acceptance and peace. I think that for me the most important thing is that people with HIV learn to see themselves as they want to be first so that whether or not someone else sees you in a positive light (pun intended), it won’t matter because you see yourself as who you are and it’s enough for you. There is power in just being enough until you get to abundance. I will forever believe that stigma will persist and, therefore, so will new infections, until we normalize what people consider abnormal. That means everyone needs to be seen and heard, so people can see themselves, and let go of shame and fear and get real about risk and testing.

Be well. You matter. Q Bridgette Picou is a licensed vocational nurse in Palm Springs, Calif., and writer for Positively Aware. This column is a project of TheBody, Plus, Positively Aware, POZ, Q Syndicate, and QSaltLake Magazine. Visit their websites – thebody.com, hivplusmag. com, positivelyaware.com and poz.com – for the latest updates on HIV/AIDS.

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NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 47

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48 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FOOD & DRINK

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Coming soon: rooftop bars

BY JOSHUA JONES

The other

day, PAGO ON MAIN had a half-hour wait for lunch. Sad face, right?

But in this case, we’re happy for them — having a busy lunch service downtown means people are returning to their offices — and that is great news for the urban core’s retail and F&B outlets.

As the kids say, “this is going to be Gucci…”

West Quarter is the massive development on the block of Royal Wood Office Plaza (btw, even when new, there was nothing royal about it).

Construction is happening in phases, but eventually there will be residential, retail, restaurants, and in October, the first tower to open will be Le Méridien. Kitty-corner from Vivint Arena, this upscale, design-focused international hotel brand will bring 144 guestrooms and ADELAIDE RESTAURANT AND BAR, a farm-to-table concept. Our eyes lit up like Christmas morning when–near the end of the press release — these two magical words appeared: rooftop bar.

Our hearts just grew three sizes!

Now you have our full attention.

Rooftop bars are sexy, they cultivate cool vibes. Do you know how often conventioneers ask where they can find a rooftop bar? Oh … wait, press release, what now? You buried the lede? Now there are not one, but two rooftop bars at West Quarter. Another lounge will be perched atop ELEMENT, a longer-stay hotel brand from Westin.

Journey with us, drink in hand (Grey Goose up a little dirty, three blue-cheese stuffed olives) as we watch the sun dip below the Great Salt Lake from the outdoor garden on the 13th floor. Email

us if you’d like to be invited, we’ve already set a Google calendar alert.

Speaking of ascending, PULP ON GALLIVAN AVENUE has permanently closed. Wait, no, they are launching a new concept, ASCENT KITCHEN. It isn’t all about us, but this is a two minute walk from our office, so we’re happy this

Regent Street. Even better: Eva’s plans to keep and refurbish the iconic neon sign.)

The new space will serve the grab-andgo crowd with faster coffee service, and rumor has it that ice cream is on its way.

Have you been to the WINTER MARKET AT THE GATEWAY? From 10–2 every Saturday, this bustling communi-

lively little space with great service will return. We spy an expanded menu with very yummy-looking orange chicken, Thai peanut chicken salad, and more.

Oh Village Baker, how we miss your meatball sandwich. The space in the handsome 111 Building will soon be the new home of ALPHA ­COFFEE. Sounds macho. Can’t wait.

Next door, City Creek Center has set a date for THE CAPITAL GRILLE of March 25th to open this emporium of steak. Owned by Darden Restaurants, we hope this opens the door for more of their platforms to our market, including Seasons 52, Eddie V’s, and Yard House.

EVA’S BAKERY has expanded into the space of McKay Diamond & Jewelry.

(Don’t worry, McKay moved .01 miles to

ty experience is a healthy, wholesome way to start your weekend. AZIZA, owned by Menna Rashwan, is new to the market and her Egyptian desserts, including kunafa cups and baklava are insanely good. We almost don’t want to let this secret out of the bag. For real.

We can be frank about this: we welcome the triumphant return of J.DAWGS to downtown. Get your buns moving to their new location in City Creek facing Temple Square in the Kirton McConkie building. This is a real weiner.

On these chilly days, we relish their reemergence downtown. We’re going to ketchup with them soon and often. Q Joshua Jones is the Joshua Jones is the director of communications and marketing at the Downtown Alliance at downtownslc.org.

APRIL, 2022

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Issue 334 |

APRIL, 2022

Creating ‘Aftershock’

Iris Salazar’s first full-length Plan-B Theatre Co. production asks how a single, non‑conservative, fullfigured, Morena Mormon Mexican, who also happens to be a virgin, navigate a pandemiquake?

BY IRIS SALAZAR

I decided

at a very young age that I would never change my last name. Salazar is my mother’s maiden name and, when I write it out, when I say it, I see her and I am reminded of all she has been through as a mother, as a woman. She comes from a family of ten sisters and four brothers. She taught me the importance of speaking up for myself, standing up for those who couldn’t speak up for themselves, to value my strengths as a female.

And my grandmother? I couldn’t even begin to write about her and give a complete

description of all that she was in six hundred words. “…when I retire and I find myself sitting alone in my home, I might regret that no one will come to visit me, because there was never anyone that called me Mama and there will never be someone to call me Abuela.”

I was raised LDS and, although my dad is a non-practicing Catholic, he had no issue with me and my siblings being raised in my mother’s religion.

When I became a part of our

church young women’s program, I was fortunate to have strong, independent women as my roles models. One of my teachers was a divorcee, another was a single businesswoman, another didn’t marry until she was in her mid-thirties, and one was mother to a child who was non-communicative, bound to a wheelchair, and would pass away. These teachers were like extensions of my own mother. Their examples made all the difference in how I viewed religion then and now. I was raised by this village of women who shaped the person I am today.

While writing AFTERSHOCK, I realized the only way I could avoid ending up with a cute, fluffy play was by sharing some of my own experiences through Teah, the central character. But I was very hesitant to do so. I didn’t want people speculating which characters are fact and which are fiction. I tend to be a private individual, so I’m feeling somewhat exposed. Even though it is only about fifty percent autobiographical, it’s fifty percent autobiographical!

“A friend once described me as a beautiful, lonely creature.

He said he had never met someone who could be surrounded by so many people and yet look so alone.”

I don’t have an agenda in telling Teah’s story. I’m not out to preach religion, advocate celibacy, or make men look bad. I just want to tell a story about a middle-aged, single, LDS, Mexican woman. On a dating show. In a pandemic. After an earthquake.

As a society, we are getting better at acknowledging people’s experiences but, all too often, we are critical of experiences that aren’t ours, especially if they involve seeking help from mental health professionals. If it hasn’t happened to us, we can be dismissive: “It’s all in their head!” or “I don’t need help.” Seeking help should be normalized.

“Was I not good enough for him?

What did I do wrong?

I went to church, I said my prayers, and I am still a virgin.

I would be a good mom and great wife, why doesn’t he want me?”

AFTERSHOCK may be about a straight, single Mexican woman on a dating show, but Teah is someone you know, can relate to, empathize with, and maybe even learn from. Q Iris Salazar’s first full-length play, AFTERSHOCK, premieres at Plan-B Theatre April 7-17 (streaming April 13-17). Visit p­ lanbtheatre.org/aftershock for details and tickets.

APRIL, 2022

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APRIL, 2022

deep inside hollywood Eddie Izzard jumps into ‘Doctor Jekyll’

BY ROMEO SAN VICENTE

Transgender icon Eddie Izzard is currently shooting “Doctor Jekyll,” a modern retelling of Robert Louis Stevenson’s 1886 novella, “The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde,” and this new version will incorporate Izzard’s own trans identity. She’ll be playing Dr. Nina Jekyll, and doing battle with the monstrous — and murderous — Hyde personality she tries to keep at bay. Co-starring Scott Chambers (“Malevolent”), with a screenplay by first-timer Dan Kelly-Mulhern, and directed by Joe Stephenson (the Ian McKellen documentary, “McKellen: Playing the Part”), the project is jump-starting a new incarnation of the legendary British horror studio, Hammer, maker of wild ’60s classics like “The Gorgon” and “The Reptile.” No word on whether or not this new film will be an aesthetic throwback to the colorful, lurid atmosphere of those bygone camp masterpieces, but we also don’t care that much: we’ll watch Izzard do anything.

‘Blue Beetle’ gets a shot of queerness with Harvey Guillén The DC Extended Universe continues to grow with the upcoming feature “Blue Beetle.” A well-known character in DC comics, BB is Jaime Reyes, a teenager who receives battle powers and space travel abilities from a blue scarab beetle. And if we’ve learned anything about the current state of moviemaking, it’s that there is no comic book character who isn’t going to get their own TV show or film. In this origin story, written by Gareth Dunnet-Alcocer (“Miss Bala”) and directed by Angel Manuel Soto (“Charm City Kings”), “Cobra Kai” star Xolo Maridueña will play the blue superhero. And just added to the cast is “What We Do In the Shadows” co-star Harvey Guillén. The queer comic actor’s role in “Beetle” isn’t yet known, and for all we know we’ll have to wait until the film’s summer 2023 release to find out. But these sorts of surprises are

why we line up for the superhero summer movies in the first place. Bring on the bug.

‘Sort Of’ sitcom set for second season The level of high-quality queer TV content just keeps rising, and yet another must-see series to add to your list, HBO Max’s “Sort Of,” just got the green light for a second season. The Canadian project came out of the gate in 2021 to praise across the board, landing on year-end best-of lists from “The Hollywood Reporter,” “The Globe and Mail” and “Vanity Fair.” It’s the story of a young gender nonconforming Millennial named Sabi, played by series co-creator Bilal Baig, who works at a queer bar, tends to a group of queer friends, and navigates life as the youngest child of a large Pakistani family. Alongside co-creator Fab Filippo (“Save Me”), Baig has given queer audiences hungry for representation a funny, wise show about the nature of identity and the trouble with clinging to labels. Now go catch up while we wait for that next batch of episodes to drop.

Dove Cameron reads ‘Field Notes on Love’ Whether you grew up on the Disney Channel — and if you’re under 40 then you basically did — or are old enough and queer enough to spot all the Broadway references on “Schmigadoon!” then you know Dove Cameron. The former “Liv and Maddie” star, who recently came out publicly, has branched into adult roles like the aforementioned meta-musical sitcom, where she stole scenes as an innocently horny Ado Annie-in“Oklahoma!”-style farmer’s daughter.

Next she’ll drop into a starring role in “Field Notes on Love,” a romance set on a train in which a recently dumped guy drafts a friend to go with him on a railroad journey (nontransferable tickets,

gotta use ‘em) that turns into love. The project, based on the book by Jennifer E. Smith, will be adapted by “Gilmore Girls” icon Lauren Graham. And Cameron’s co-star will be none other than another “Liv and Maddie” alum, Jordan Fisher (who also starred in “Rent: Live”).

In other words, the former Disney kids are having a meta moment all their own.

Bowen Yang, Megan Thee Stallion and Nathan Lane meet ‘F*cking Identical Twins’ Where Megan Thee Stallion goes, we follow. Whether it’s her music or her on-point judging style on HBO Max’s “Legendary,” she’s got our queer allegiance. Now she’s going to act in a new A24 film from Aaron Jackson and Josh Sharp, called “F*cking Identical Twins.”

If you’re not up to speed on Jackson and Sharp, they were part of “The Opposition with Jordan Klepper” on Comedy Central, where they conducted “Daily Show”style interviews while pretending to be alt-right journalists. The new project will star the duo as twins separated at birth who decide – yes, in the manner of many “Parent Trap” iterations that have come before – to reunite their divorced parents. Ms. Thee Stallion will co-star alongside Bowen Yang, Nathan Lane, and “Will & Grace” legend Megan Mullally. And did we mention that it’s also a musical? It’s a musical, the first from A24. Next question: Is it ready yet? Q Romeo San Vicente just cain’t say no.

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APRIL, 2022

the perils of petunia pap smear

A tale of a geisha boy

BY PETUNIA PAP SMEAR

The road

to Tokyo is fraught with danger and excitement.

A long, long time ago, I went to Japan to attend “geisha finishing school” to complete my training to be the ultimate queen. (That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.)

I was used to my small farming town in Idaho with a population of 350, where rush hour consisted of two tractors passing each other on the way to the field and stopping in the middle of the road for a chit-chat. So, imagine my shock and disorientation going from that to Tokyo, population 35 million, the largest city in the world. Home of Shinjuku station, the busiest railway station in the world, containing 87 platforms, with a train arriving or leaving every 11 seconds, serving 3.5 million people each day. Add to this the added confusion of me not being able to read Japanese signs or speak the language very well, and hilarity ensued.

Traveling on Japanese trains during rush hour was often a challenge to stay alive — similar to the danger of anyone standing between me and the chicken strips at a buffet. The train cars would fill so full that, when each car was overflowing, train station employees wearing white gloves would go to each door and push the people in, packing us in tighter than my buttocus rotundus in my girdle, to be able to force the doors closed. Then upon arrival at the next station, when the doors would open, the tightly packed people would involuntarily spill out onto the platform. Again, the men with white gloves would be there to help catch anyone tumbling out and help prevent them from falling all the way down.

Sometimes, I would take advantage of these incredibly tight conditions. While waiting for the train to arrive, I would scope out the crowd waiting on the platform to identify the hottest guy in the mob. I would discretely maneuver myself to be in his vicinity. Then, when the train arrived and we all boarded, I would often

be able to manipulate myself to be pressed up against my targeted hunk. OH MY! On one occasion, several of us “girls” from the geisha school decided to go to the Ginza Strip to visit McDonald’s.

My God, a Big Mac cost the equivalent of $15. Well, I guess I’ll forgo the fries then. After the Mac attack, we went shopping for some new kimonos. I still did not speak the language well enough to get around on my own, so the school paired each of us newbies up with a more experienced student. We boarded a train near McDonald’s, and indeed, I maneuvered my way to be pressed up against a most handsome man for about ten minutes. Then we got to Shinjuku station and needed to change trains.

The train we needed to catch was down a long escalator four levels below where we were. As we got off the train, my companion was leading the way along the train platform heading to the escalator and I was following closely behind so as not to get lost. Some shiny object caught my eye, and in the split second that I took my eyes off my journey, suddenly, despite all my efforts, I was caught up in a cross current of people boarding a nearby train heading for a destination unknown. This crush of people was extreme. I was pushed far into the car away from the door. I was pressed up against another hunky guy, but I was not able to enjoy it this time because I was packed in so tightly that I had trouble breathing. My feet were not touching the floor. My left breasticle was jabbing some poor lady in the back of her neck, and my right breasticle was poking some unfortunate kid in the eye. My companion had given me prior instructions that if we were to get separated, that I should get off the train at the next station and wait on the platform. She would catch the next one and come find me.

My train stopped at the next station,

but I was unable to make my way to the door. It took three more stops before I was able to force my way off the train. I waited on the platform. When the next train arrived, I searched for my companion. She was not there. I worried what I was to do. I did not speak Japanese well enough to be able to ask for directions or help. So, I continued waiting. Three more trains arrived and departed. After ninety minutes, I was beginning to lose all hope, and resign myself to becoming a karaoke courtesan to support myself.

The fourth train arrived, and I spotted my companion. She explained that by the time she figured out I was gone, that train had departed so she needed to wait fifteen minutes for the next one.

She got off at the very next station but had to wait until the platform cleared to discover that I was not there. Consequently, she needed to wait another fifteen minutes to catch the next train.

Lather, rinse and repeat, four more times.

This story leaves us with several important questions: 1. If I wore my white opera length gloves, could I become one of the pushers?

2. Is train riding a good way to find a husband?

3. Since I was packed in so tight, was it okay that I didn’t iron my clothes for a month?

4. Should I employ some Japanese men in white gloves to help squeeze me into my girdle?

5. If I had farted, would the crowd have let me get to the exit?

6. Do I need to design some pagoda style breasticles to go with a kimono?

These and other eternal questions will be answered in future chapters of The Perils of Petunia Pap Smear. Q

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