Todd the Troll

Don’t Judge a Troll by it’s Looks

by Ben Reinstein Prologue “Oh, there you are. I’ve been expecting you to come. I’m Todd. People know me as the big, stupid troll. But, I’m really not. I’m actually just like you. Anywho, I need to get my narrator to tell you my story. He wasn’t cheap by the way. EARL? EARL! WHERE ARE YOU? Oh, there you are. Now tell these readers my story, alright? I’m gonna’ finish my movie. Enjoy the story.” ***** “...you’re gonna need a bigger boat,” BOOM! CRASH! Todd the troll was just enjoying watching his all time favorite movie: Jaws. Since he had no friends, all he could really do was watch movies all day in his crummy old cave.

Spiders crawled everywhere, dust on the ground, water leaks on the ceiling. Todd wanted friends more than anything in the world.

Todd was snuggling with his dirty “teddy bear”. More like a teddy monster if you ask me.

You know what would make this the ultimate experience? Some popcorn! Todd thought to himself. Todd paused the movie, slowly got up, took a second to crack his back, and went to what he called his “kitchen”. Of course he didn’t actually have a refrigerator, so what he did to store all of his food was to dig a hole and dump all of it in there.

Actually, it was quite organized. Dairy products there, grains there, meats here, miscellaneous products right over there, and no veggies whatsoever. He climbed down over to the miscellaneous section and searched for the popcorn.

“Where the heck is my beloved popcorn?”he cried out. He searched and searched but couldn’t seem to find it! “OH MY GOD!” Todd raced out of his cave not caring so much about the movie anymore. All he really cared about at that moment was the popcorn.

While he was running to the grocery store, he realized that it would be nice if he could share the popcorn with someone. That someone could even watch the movie with him. He realized that this was his chance. He could try to be friendly and make some friends with strangers. So it was clear. Todd was no longer going to the grocery store to just get some popcorn, he was also going to the store to make some friends.

When he arrived at the store, “All Things Good”, Todd purchased some popcorn and went over to pay for it. He chose the booth with a very attractive cashier.

“Eey wa-wa-wassup...” Todd took a glimpse at her nametag. “....Di- Di- Dianne,” Todd stammered. He was very attracted. The cashier on the other hand, was horrified.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! SECURITY COME QUICK! THERE’S A... A THING TRYING TO KILL ME!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! HELP!” the cashier screeched. She was waving her arms like she was playing a soccer game yelling, “I’m OPEN!” But she was really yelling, “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! OH MY GOD!!! SAVE ME!!!” she screamed.

Todd was as startled as ever. Well, not really. He was really used to these kinds of incidents. But what really bugged him was what the cashier had called him: a thing. He had never imagined or thought of of himself as a thing.

Thing.

Thing.

Thing.

Thing.

Thing. The word kept on bouncing in his head.

Thing.

Thing.

Thing. He wanted it to stop! Finally after forty-five minutes, it paused. Then he remembered about Jaws. He wasn’t in the mood for Jaws. He was in the mood for a drama that was more uplifting FORREST GUMP! Todd loved Tom Hanks. He walked down to the movie shop, when he thought, (GASP!) This is my chance! To make some new friends! Todd raced to the “deserted” movie store.

Even though Blockbuster was an incredibly messy store, Todd still liked its onion smell inside. He was a troll, so, trolls like odd aromas. As he walked through the door Todd noticed that there were only three people in the store. There was a teenager, who seemed like he couldn’t care less what was going on, an infant who was playing with his Power Rangers action figure, and a lady who clearly cared about her appearance. She was

wearing something that looked like a wedding dress, bright orange lipstick, holding a fancy purse which Todd made out that the infant must have scribbled on with green marker. The woman's eyelashes were as big as an index finger. She looked like she was very protective of her son. Todd jogged toward the infant. He had to kneel down to talk to the infant.

“Hey what’s up little buddy?” Todd asked. The infant said nothing. He was too involved playing with his dinky little Power Rangers toy.

“Kid, uh... what’s your name?” Todd said impatiently.

Still, no answer.

“KID! LISTEN TO ME!” No answer.

“Kid, I’m trying to be friendly with you, so could you please acknowledge THAT YOU AND YOUR STUPID, GOOD-FOR-NOTHING SUPER HERO TOY AREN’T THE ONLY PEOPLE IN THE WHOLE STINKING UNIVERSE!!”

Now, the infant looked up. When he stared up at the big frustrated troll, he suddenly dropped his Power Rangers toy, with teary eyes.

“MMMMM- MMM- MOMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!! MM- MMMM--” The infant screamed. The make-up mom came running over to her son.

“LEAVE MY SON ALONE!” the make-up mom screeched. Todd suddenly ran out of the deserted movie store and kept on running. He knew that things were hopeless. He needed a friend. A friend. He only asked for one. But why did everybody judge him That, he will never know. Todd slowed down a bit, and walked with a face full of despair. He was so desperate.

“I’m gonna need a bigger heart,” Todd muttered to himself. “Aw who am I kidding?

I’m making references to a stupid shark movie, and I’m walking alone with no friends. I’m a mess!” Suddenly, Todd noticed something odd. Something really odd. Another troll! walking alone. Like me! Todd couldn’t see if it was a guy or a girl. He guessed guy. He jogged to the troll in normal speed, but it felt like slo-mo. The other troll knew what Todd was doing so he decided to jog to him.

Wait! What if he doesn’t want to be my friend. Maybe he doesn’t even want to have to do anything with me?! UGGHHH! Todd was very worried. Todd’s legs were feeling tired after all that slo-mo. Finally, they reached each other. Todd was right. It was a guy.

“Uh... hey. I’m Kev,” greeted the troll.

“Hi... Uh, Todd,” Todd replied. “So, you want to... come over to my home-ish cave?”

“Yeah! that’d be great!” They walked home together and talked about what they would do during their “play-date”.

YESS!!! I cannot believe this!!!!!!! Wait! What if I make a total fool out of myself?! Todd thought. He didn’t even care. He was filled with too much jubilation.

“What do you want to do at your place?” Kev asked in a quiet voice.

“Well, it’s up to you.”

***** “And I think you know what happens... blah, blah, blah.

TODD!! I’M DONE! GET OFF OF THAT SILLY, OLD COUCH OF YOURS AND GET DOWN HERE!” “Geez! What is your problem?! Kev and I are watchin’ some movies! We’re in the middle of The Matrix! This better be important!” Todd screamed.

“I’m finished with my story... er- I mean your story,” Earl replied.

“So, you could’ve been a little bit nicer to me considering that I’m PAYING you $5.00 every ten minutes! You should be careful with me, I’m a troll.” Todd reminded him.

“I don’t have to be careful with you!” Earl retorted.

“Ughhh! I don’t want this to get out of hand! Why don’t I be nice and invite you to watch the movie with us!!”

“That’d be great!”

“ONLY if you don’t hog the popcorn,” Todd countered.

“Fi-ine!”