A New Ewe for 2022 by rscholz@comcast.net

A New Ewe for 2022 by rscholz@comcast.net

“W

ell, I must say seeing this strange and wonderful creature let my imagination out of the barn where it was loosely tied to the ‘Post of Rationality’ and off it gamboled,” I confessed sheepishly to my young friend who posted this charming portrait of a beautiful ewe with the caption “Happy Ewe Ears – 2022” on Facebook.

I’m not sure why she posted this particular picture on New Year’s Eve. Is she saying we're all sheep? I don't think so. That doesn’t sound like her.

Is she trying to pull the wool over our eyes? Once again, I don't think so. She’s as honest as they Here's lookin' at you, kid come. I think the explanation is simply that she liked the way the ewe's ears look and liked the word play of “Happy Ewe Ears - 2022.”

I too really like this photo. It is quite evocative, wouldn't you agree? Yes, indeed, this b/w photo of a noble ewe stimulated my imagination. Somewhere in the empty bowling alley of my mind, a pin dropped. One lone pin. And it echoed. For some unknown reason when a pin drops in the bowling alley of my mind, my imagination takes flight. A bit strange? Yes, indubitably.

Not sure who this lordly gentleman in the picture to the right is, but his coiffure is quite reminiscent of Mrs. Happy Ewe Ears’ coat of wool, wouldn’t you agree? I wonder whom he might he be? Lord Pisson’em of Snodesbury Greene perhaps? Or the Earl of Sandwich who, as he sat patiently waiting for his portrait to be drawn was conjuring up new and exciting versions of his latest culinary invention? Is he imagining how great two pieces of bread with something in between would be if that ‘something’ was tender corned beef along with some sauerkraut, some Swiss cheese and maybe a delicious slice of dill pickle? Or maybe a big dill pickle on the side? And don’t forget the spicy brown mustard. Mr. Sandwich’s best friend Lord Pisson'em or The Earl of Sandwich?

Reuben would probably love getting his hands on such a tasty treat. Reuben is a big fan of corned beef.

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rscholz@comcast.net

Here’s what Ms. Ewe Ears might look like in an elaborate gold frame. Doesn't she look like a Lord or Lady of the Manor? And wouldn’t this portrait look perfect mounted in the drawing room or perhaps the entrance hall of a Tudor mansion in England?

For me, she personifies all that is noble.

Wouldn’t any highborn English family be proud to have such a sincere if slightly bemused ancestor? I ask you.

As my ‘English Ewe as Nobility’ fantasy glided slowly back to earth a whole ‘nother possibility rose up in my mind.

Once upon a time I worked as a Marketing Manager. Upon further reflection I was struck by how this ewe would be the perfect spokesperson (spokessheep?) or celebrity rep for a hair care product!

If I put my Marketing Manager hat on, an ad Lady Ewe Ears - A Highborn Aristocrat? campaign based on “A New You in 2022” with this slightly bemused looking sheep as our spokes-sheep could be the marketing opportunity of a lifetime – really, she’s almost too good to be true.

Just spit-ballin’ here – For marketing purposes let’s call our woolly spokes-sheep Bethany Bellwether.

For a New You in 2022 try New Ewe Shampoo!

Is your bleeping hair driving you crazy?

Do wind and rain raise havoc with your locks?

New Ewe Shampoo will make a New You. Don’t join the flock of the sorrowfully shorn, Try New Ewe Shampoo it’s like being reborn!

Men, give the gift for hair that’s been blown The wife that you save could well be your own!

Available Without Prescription Beware of imitations, don’t get fleeced.

Not available in Alaska or Hawaii or Timbuktu However, New Ewe Shampoo is still available in Casablanca, ask at “Rick's Cafe Americain”

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rscholz@comcast.net

Or we could try using the religious angle by re-working the Lord’s Prayer. Let’s stretch the imaginations of our potential customers by having Bethany Bellwether take the place of Our Sweet Lord in that oldie but goody the Lord’s Prayer, as follows:

On that note I will bring this Flight of Fancy (or trip to my mental bowling alley depending on which metaphor winds your clock) to an end. And to think it was occasioned by a “Happy Ewe Ears” greeting on Facebook. A bit strange? Yes, indubitably. ### End ###

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rscholz@comcast.net