Perception MATTERS... it matters a lot!

A Change in the S easons...

Perception Are We Suffering From a Shallow Depth of FOCUS?

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I've learned....

That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world. ~Andy Rooney

“Sharing the Good News is one beggar telling another beggar where to find bread.�

Choice!

A certain amount of self control will be required if we are ever to see peace in our world.

Common sense should dictate that we make teaching it a priority in our homes and schools. Lack of self control is the beginning of violence in any society. Should the family be unable or unwilling to secure this virtue for themselves, then and only

Grace

then - should the government or law enforcement intervene.

If every household of every culture could agree on this one issue - we could achieve at least a fraction of world peace. Unifying the world by finding issues that we can agree on is promoting a better way of life for everyone.

An eye for an eye only leads to more blindness.

All that is required of each of us is to maintain this virtue in order to do our part to change our world. Are you teaching and modeling SELF CONTROL with your actions every day? It is our responsibility to change the world!

~Margaret Atwood

Self control could eliminate a whole lot of violence.

3 Santa Fe Good News

Call us or email us if you have any ideas about how we can better serve you.

Plea s our e supp ad or whe vertise t can never y rs ... ou the they ke NE GOO ep WS D to y comin ou f g or FR EE !

The rhythm of grace is a freefall into the arms of your Savior.

~Lynn Dale

GOOD NEWS

GOOD LIFE

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*If there is something GOOD to say about someone, something or some happening - we want to print it so that you will know about it.

WHY?

Because a balanced diet (of words or food) is a healthy way to live.

If you only feed yourself a steady diet of bad news... you can't possibly live the GOOD, abundant life GOD intended for you to live.

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The Santa Fe Good News (409) 370-0030 P. O. Box 515 Santa Fe, TX 77510 Email us at: lynn@santafegoodnews.com www.santafegoodnews.com

LOOKing Through the Window

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to receive his daily medical treatment.

His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, and where they had been on vacation.

Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one-hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by the description of activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a beautiful lake.

Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers held hands and walked amidst flowers of every color of the rainbow. Grand old trees graced the landscape, and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance. As the man described his view from the window in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing through the park. Although the other man could not hear the band, he could see the parade in his mind's eye, as the gentleman by the window developed a detailed picture with his descriptive words.

One morning, the nurse arrived to bring water for Continued

CALL (409) 945-9782

CLICK to OR to email Laurine Murtagh, Distributor - CLICK HERE 5 Santa Fe Good News

TRUTH

LOOKing Through the Window Continued

The blind man sees what he wants to see.

He becomes who he wants to be.

their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

The seeing man has a tougher road...

He sees everything around him and gets lost and confused about who he wants to be.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone. Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the world outside. Finally, he would have the joy of seeing it for himself. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed. To his surprise the window faced a brick wall.

The faith filled man sees by faith what life can be.

As a result of his vision, he becomes who he is meant to be.

The man called for the nurse and asked what could have compelled his deceased roommate to describe such wonderful things outside this window. The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.

She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."

~Author Unknown

The moral of the story is there is tremendous joy in making others happy, despite our own situations.

Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.

Click here to start planning your next trip!

glass and gives back ďƒłTheto everyworldmanis athelooking reflection of his own face. ~William Makepeace Thackery

6 Santa Fe Good News

Texas State Parks Pass TPWD offers four types of passes:

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•Texas State Parks Pass – for individuals and families.

•Texas Parklands Passport – for qualifying seniors, veterans and disabled persons.

•Youth Group Annual Pass – for nonprofit youth groups of 13 to 17 year-olds.

•Restricted Annual Activity Pass – for activities at specific parks.

The Texas State Parks Pass is good for one year and includes: •Unlimited free entry to more than 90 state parks for you and your guests.

(Card holder must present the pass to get free entry.)

•Discounts on camping (some restrictions apply), park store purchases and equipment rentals.

•Other special offers.

A Texas State Parks Pass costs $70. You can buy a second pass for someone who lives at the same address for $25.

For more information click here http://tpwd.texas.gov/state-parks/parkinformation/passes/sppass-faq and read the Texas State Parks Pass Details.

Make this WINTER the year your children remember for the rest of their lives at a state park near you.

Supporting our STATE & NATIONAL PARKS improves not only the quality of our lives, but also those of all of the animals that live there.

7 Santa Fe Good News

room, while the nurse apologized profusely for all the wheel chairs being tied up. Heather didn’t mind at all. John SPECIAL didn’t seem to either. He paced back and forth behind her, while she answered all the questions, including the one FEATURE about her last period. That wasn’t the only uncomfortable A Good News original serial question that came up during the checking in process.

Heather lied when the nurse asked for her weight and cowboy romance... again, when she asked if she could be pregnant. She told written by Lynn Dale her “no.”

A wheel chair appeared in the doorway with an elderly volunteer behind it. She too, was apologizing for the delay in getting it to them. John helped Heather slide over into it, while the tired gray-haired woman held it in place. Dorothy, according to her nametag, moved them to room #2, to wait for someone from x-ray. She assured them that someone would be right down and trotted out the door to do her next good deed.

Chapter Two

When they arrived at the hospital, John was standing in front of the emergency room doors. “Tall, lean, good looking and waiting for me,” Heather thought with a giggle. As soon as the wheels on the suburban stopped turning, he had the door open and was whisking her into the hospital. Heather noticed his ripped up western shirt “I can’t believe this is happening,” Heather had been replaced with a long sleeved, blue jean work sighed and set her purse down on the bed to get it out of shirt. “You changed shirts,” she remarked. her lap.

“Well, I didn’t want the doctor to think we had “I’m really sorry,” John told her as he paced the been fighting and that’s how you had gotten hurt,” he told floor.

“I had no idea you were gonna fall.” her smirking. “My name is John Patterson and it’s nice

to meet you,” he said as he lowered her into one of the “Oh, it’s not your fault, I was in a hurry. I was chairs at the registration desk and sat down in the chair gonna have dessert with mom and dad and I knew they next to her. had already been there awhile,” she explained. “They

“I’m Heather Carter and it’s nice to meet you didn’t know I was coming and I didn’t want to miss them. too,” she said, smiling genuinely. Heather gave the bubbly little clerk all of her information. Her parents had taken a seat in the lobby and seemed quite content to let them handle it. When she had signed all the forms, John grabbed her up again and moved her over beside her parents for the wait. After all the introductions were made, Heather’s mom began the inquisition. “John do Perfection is always the goal, you live here in town?”

A Change in the Seasons...

“No ma’am. I live out by the north county line.

I just came in to eat pizza with a couple of friends of mine,” he answered politely, smiling at Heather like he knew what was going on. “Really. What do you do for a living?” Leah continued. “I’m a police officer for Ryman County Sheriff’s Office and I run a few head of cattle on my place.”

“A police officer, how nice,” Leah said, and smiled over at Heather giving her approval, so far.

Knowing where this was headed, Heather tried to cut her mother off even though she wanted the answers too. She didn’t want it to appear like what it was. She and her mother had done this to potential prospects hundreds of times, but for some reason she didn’t want John to have to endure it. Just as she was changing the subject, the admitting nurse called her name. Her mother winked at her as they left and showed no signs of following them.

John picked her up and carried her into the triage 8 Santa Fe Good News

but rarely is it the end result.

A cowboy romance.

I did meet a nice guy though,” she thought out loud, smiling up at him.

“Yeah, it looks like I met a nice girl too. It’s a shame you had to get hurt in the process though,” he said, grinning right back at her.

They made small talk while they waited and were cutting up like old friends by the time the x-ray tech arrived. John went with her and recited all the onelegged jokes he could remember to keep her mind off of the technician moving her foot around. He was trying to entertain her she realized and it was apparently working.

Before she knew it, the x-rays were done and they were back in room #2, waiting for the doctor. When he finally arrived, they were having a great time.

“Hi, I’m Dr. Thorp. Had quite a fall did ya, little lady?” he asked Heather, as he shook hands with John.

“Yes sir.”

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We can never love too much!

Dr. Thorp was ever bit of 60 and had the wrinkles to prove it. Most of them were smile wrinkles and it was obvious how he got them. He came in smiling and never He told her she would have to wear it for a minimum of stopped the whole time he treated her. Heather thought he 6 weeks. He said he could already see severe bruising on was a little too happy, after he gave her the news. her ankle.

“Is it broke?” she asked, dreading the answer.

“I’m afraid it is young lady. In two places,” he told her, acting as if two were better than just one, the way he was grinning. “We’re gonna put a splint on it and let the swelling go down some. It appears you twisted it pretty good,” he said, as he put her films in the viewer.

“Let’s move you up here on the bed and fix you up.” He and John helped her to balance, so she could get up on the bed. “I’m gonna have to cut these blue jeans young lady,” he explained. “or you’ll never be able to get them off. Six weeks is a long time in the same pair of pants,” he warned, still grinning like he was offering her tea or something.

“That’s fine,” Heather agreed amicably. The doctor set about his work, talking all the while. John occupied himself reading all of the posters on the wall, politely keeping his back to her. Heather stared at John’s back whenever she could see him around the doctor. She thought it must be a learned craft to occupy patients so thoroughly with small talk. Before she knew it, the doctor was finished and thankfully, she had barely noticed any pain at all. “That is a gift,” she decided and thanked the doctor for his handiwork.

As John wheeled her into the lobby, her parents suggested that they take her home with them, rather than go to her apartment. Heather didn’t want to. She didn’t want the night to be over yet and she knew it would be, if she went home with them. “Daddy can’t John just take me home?” she asked. “Well, I guess you can do whatever you want to. I just thought that since there’s no one at your house to wait on you, that you’d want to stay with us.”

“I don’t need to be waited on Daddy, I have crutches. See,” Heather said, pointing at the shiny new pair of aluminum crutches she had perched in her lap.

“Well, it’s up to you honey.”

“What about my truck though, Dad?” Heather asked, having forgotten all about it until now. Mr. Carter glanced at his wife and she nodded her approval. “Your Mom and I will go pick it up and take it to our house.

You won’t be needing it anytime soon. We’ll drop your mother’s car off tomorrow for you to use.”

“Heather’s truck is a standard, so she’ll have to use her mother’s car for awhile,” he explained to John.

John nodded his understanding and stopped Heather’s chair at the edge of the sidewalk. He walked around in front of Heather and squatted down to her level. He asked

Three hours after their arrival, it was time to her what she wanted to do. leave and Heather didn’t want to go. It was midnight and she was wound up like an 8-day clock, despite the pain “If you wouldn’t mind taking me home, I’d really medicine she had taken. Dr. Thorp had splinted her leg appreciate it,” she answered. and given her an appointment on Monday for a real cast.

Continued on page 20.

9 Santa Fe Good News

Lemon Meringue Pie with Cookie Crumb Crust

GOOD FOOD

"Hi, my name is Christy Jordan and I like to feed people."

Ingredients 1 box vanilla wafers (crust) 6 T margarine (crust) 3 T sugar (crust)

There are over 1000 recipes on SouthernPlate.com right this very minute and they are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, FREE of charge.

Step by step instructions, photos and sometimes even videos can be found for all of Christy's recipes at www. southernplate.com

My Easter Menu

Lemon Meringue Pie with Cookie Crumb Crust Fresh Strawberry Pie Deviled Eggs, a Southern Staple Jordan Rolls CLICK HERE Daddy’s Coconut Cake for all the Cheesy Hash Brown Casserole recipes, Sweet And Sour Green Beans step by Macaroni Salad step...

Buttermilk Congealed Salad Rhyming Broccoli Salad Relish Tray Ideas For Kids Ham Mama’s Creamy Macaroni and Cheese Sweet Tea Fresh StrawberryAde



10 Santa Fe Good News

14-15 ounce can sweetened condensed milk (filling) ½ cup lemon juice (fresh or bottled) (filling) 2 egg yolks (filling) 3 egg whites (meringue) ¼ C sugar (meringue)

Instructions 1. For crust, crush half of wafers (about 40). Stir in sugar. Add melted margarine and stir until well blended. Pat out into pie plate.

2. For filling, mix all ingredients with electric mixer until well blended. Pour into crust. Top with meringue.

3. For meringue, whip egg whites until foamy. Add sugar. Continue beating on high speed until soft peaks form. Pour onto top of pie and spread to edges to seal well.

Bake at 325 for fifteen minutes or until top is golden. Allow to cool completely and refrigerate before serving if desired.

You gotta have at LEAST one tray of deviled eggs at Easter because they are so good …

Fresh StrawberryAde Ingredients

•16 ounces fresh strawberries •1 Tub Crystal Light Pink Lemonade

Instructions

How to Bake a Ham

1. Wash and remove tops from strawberries. Place in blender and puree until fully liquefied.

and Get 4 MEALS out of it!

I love to bake ham (the proper pronunciation in my neck of the woods is “ha-yum”). Its super simple, incredibly delicious, and yields enough to provide several meals.

Anything that is left over is easily frozen to recycle into casseroles, beans, omelets, and more at a later date.

There are as many ways to cook and use a ham as there are stars in the sky. A lot of people like to put a glaze on theirs, but my philosophy is: Why over complicate things?

Ham tastes GOOD and when I take a bite of ham, I’m not expecting to taste maple or cinnamon or oranges, I just want to taste my ham!

2. Fill two quart pitcher halfway with water. Stir in drink mix. Add strawberry puree and fill the rest of the way with cold water. Stir well. *If strawberries aren’t sweet enough, you can add ¼ a cup of Splenda or sugar to taste.

3. Serve cold, over ice.

That having been said, of course there isn’t anything wrong with making a glaze, its just that I prefer the taste on its own. So here is your basic “How To Cook A Ham” tutorial with several options for getting more meals out of it!

I put my ham on a baking sheet that has a lip on it because juices will come out and you don’t want them being spilled off into your oven. Encase your ham really well in aluminum foil. Now all you do is turn your oven on 250 and cook it all day. We are slow cooking this, basically using our oven as the original crock pot. I put mine on in the morning, around eight and let it slow cook until supper time. I recommend you cook it for at least five hours, anything longer than that just adds to the tenderness so feel free to cook yours all day like I do!

Continued on page 17.

Editor's Note: If you'd like to let Christy know how much you enjoy her contributions to the Good News, you could order one of her cookbooks at the link above.

11 Santa Fe Good News

FEATURE STORY

Perception

Are We Suffering From a Shallow Depth of FOCUS?

Is this hard to look at?

Depth of focus is a photography term meaning a close up of the subject you are interested in and a blurring out of what you don't particularly care for. In cinematography a large depth of field is called DEEP FOCUS and the small depth of field is called a SHALLOW FOCUS. The decrease in sharpness is gradual, but it does help determine our perception of the object in the photograph.

We use our perception of things to organize all of the sensory information that is thrown our way daily. How we perceive what we focus on has a big impact on our attitude toward it.

Use this photo for example.

If I said the word LOVE to you, but showed you this photo, what would you think? We are told our whole lives that God is love.

However, when we say the word God, some people are offended.

Love is never offensive.

We really like love.

It stands for all the great things we like and want in our lives.

Things like babies and puppies and beauty of all sorts. We love people and cars and animals and food.

We have no problem attaching the word to anything and everything that brings us joy and happiness.

12 Santa Fe Good News

Somewhere back in history someone zoomed in on the word God and decided to try to change our perception with all sorts of words and visual aids. Over time our perception has changed. The creator of the universe has somehow become perceived to be evil rather than GOOD in the minds of many. We can talk about and show love all day long though.

focus on only SHALLOW things, you are doing yourself and your family great harm. (So says she who only prints the Good News.)

What you choose to read for your own personal enjoyment is not in question here. What is in question is realizing that our perception is based on what we take in.

For example in politics it's called spin. I'm guessing

Is what we that was coined as intently focus on really referring to "the webs we that important? weave when we practice to deceive", but whatever

It is if we the reason - spin matters take a narrow view of because it creates our everything. A wide angle perception. lens was developed for a reason - sometimes you I had to go through need to see the whole a lot of photos to get the picture if you are to really two you see here. They get the point. Social media look like normal happy has so narrowed our focus people don't they? I waded to our own news feeds that through a mass of awful, it is causing great havoc in awful photos to get these! the world. All you see in If you or I had a photo on your news feed is what the internet as atrocious you want to see. as theirs, we would die of embarassment.

We intentionally protect ourselves from a We all need to lot of unpleasant realities enlarge our depth of field today and it's good to if we expect to make an do so. However, if you informed decision.

Next month...

goes to Hobbit Cafe in Houston Texas!

Perception MATTERS

It was Ben Franklin who, at a critical impasse during the Constitutional Convention in June 1787, attempted to introduce the practice of daily common prayer with these words: "I have lived, Sir, a long time and the longer I live, the more convincing proofs I see of this truth – that God governs in the affairs of men. And if a sparrow cannot fall to the ground without his notice, is it probable that an empire can rise without his aid?" ~Benjamin Franklin

It MATTERS a lot!

Do you have 2 hours a week that you can give to help somebody?

We'd LOVE to have you CLICK HERE to find out about us!

P.O. Box 1426 Santa Fe, Tx 77510 13 Santa Fe Good News

GOOD NEWS never goes out of style... it's still GOOD no matter when you happen to run across it!

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SHARE the GOOD NEWS!

***Editor's Note: For more GREAT recipes click below to go to Christy's awesome website!

This is More Than Just a Cookbook... It's a REAL GOOD READ! Order her NEW COOKBOOK by clicking right here!

I set out to write the one cookbook that I myself would use the most when it came to planning suppers for my family- I hope you'll find it as useful as I intended it to be. Please keep in mind, though, that the recipes in this book and the meals you and I make are really just a tool to bring our families and friends together.

Because at the end of the day, the supper table is where we teach our families where they came from and they let us know where they hope to go.

Values, heritage, history, dreams, and encouragement are passed around with the serving platters and roots grow a little deeper with each bite. We may have high hopes and aspirations when we set off into the world each morning, but if you really want to make the world a better place, end the day by coming home to supper.

14 Santa Fe Good News

-Christy Jordan

Continued from page 13.

I like to serve my ham with white beans, also known as Northern or Navy beans. What you are seeing here is basically a combination of Northern and Navy beans, I used a bag of each because I didn’t have enough of either one to make a really big pot. How do you cook these beans? That’s simple, just CLICK HERE for my tutorial on how to make dried beans, which is the exact method I used to cook these.

Dried beans are incredibly economical and filling. I make a large pot and then use them for two meals, once as a side dish and once as a main course. This is my first choice in recycling ham and beans. The following day, I heat up the beans and shred a good bit of ham to go in them. Serve this with cornbread and some chopped onions and don’t be surprised if wayward Southern bachelors don’t start lining up at your door!

Do you have a family who bristles at the thought of leftovers? A simple solution to this is to wait two days before recycling them into a new meal. If I have ham on Monday, I might wait until Wednesday to serve this ham and bean dish.

This is an easy way to beat the “we had this last night!” whining.

My family has yet to notice we are eating leftovers when I serve them this way!

But Mama’s Northern Beans Had This Gravy In Them…

I’ve had a lot of people email asking about the “gravy” their mothers used to have in their white beans. The good news is, that cooks up all on its own!

Another thing I like to do for a super quick supper with leftover ham is chop it up and add it to a box of Au Gratin or Scalloped potatoes. Just prepare the potatoes according to box directions, stir in chopped ham, place in a 9×13 inch casserole dish and bake (according to package directions). This is home style convenience food at its finest!

My husband was pretty put off the first time that box of potatoes appeared, but he got over it after his first bite of my ham “casserole”. If you want, you can also experiment with adding frozen vegetables to this. I like to add green beans :).

Other uses for leftover ham: •Chop it up and add it to omelets for a great breakfast (or brunch…or dinner…or…)

•Bake up a can of biscuits (if you don’t want to make homemade) and have ham and biscuits! This is an excellent dinner idea (Southerners love our breakfast for dinner!).

•A ham bone is also a GREAT seasoning for soups and stews! Let it cook in there the entire time, so you get all of those delicious ham bits off of it!

Made in TEXAS

by TEXANS...

just for

you!

ORDER yours today!

Thought for the Day: If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it. If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it. He sends you flowers every spring. He sends you a sunrise every morning.

THE PRAYER CORNER

SPIRIT & SOUL

Face it, friend - He is crazy about you!

Love and accept yourself exactly as you are, because HE does. 

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Your friend in real estate.

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The Good News is…

Every time you open up the GOOD NEWS... you expose yourself to a world where the GOOD is celebrated & the bad is not glorified.

SHARE some Good News with your loved ones today.

IT NEV

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One gave all.

16 Santa Fe Good News

It's FREE for everyone!

May you find the open arms of Christ throughout the pages of the Good News.

May you hear God's voice in your heart, know His touch in your life and feel His love for you each day.

SPIRIT & SOUL

*

CORNER

* *

* * *

THE

As we walk uphill towards home, we never have to walk alone.

What Do You Believe?

That is all that matters. Can you come to me and know that I am? Do you believe what I tell you? You don’t act like you believe me. Being doubtful about what you believe makes you weary and worn out. You either believe me or you don’t, which is it?

Stop wavering, it’s tiresome.

Sunny Side Up!

Life is not a guessing game. I don’t tell you one thing and expect you to guess what to do. I tell you what to do and you need to do it. I leave 95 percent of your life up to you. I made the rules and they are guidelines, overall truths to guide you into a good life. I didn’t say you had to go to work today, I said work or you won’t eat. Does that mean you can’t take a day off? No. That means work to make a living to feed yourself.

I’m not into micro management.

I tell you guidelines and expect you to follow them, but I gave you common sense, use it. I don’t play games with you.

I gave you the rules and if you follow them, I’ll bless you. If you don’t follow them you yourself withhold my blessings and lose my protection. That’s all there is to it. It’s not difficult.

A child can figure it out.

Your beliefs play a big role in how you choose to live your l i f e .

Determine what you believe and you will realize how I have provided for you. Then, you will begin to know how much I love you.

GOD

SONG TRACKS 1. “Take My Hand, Precious Lord” 2. “I Surrender All” 3. “He Touched Me” 4. “Softly and Tenderly” 5. “Jesus Loves Me” 6. “It Is Well With My Soul” 7. “The Old Rugged Cross” 8. “I Need Thee Every Hour” 9. “How Great Thou Art” 10. “I’ll Fly Away” 11. “Jesus Paid It All” 12. “Suppertime” 13. “When I’m Gone”

Available NOW at Cracker Barrel.

17 Santa Fe Good News

Let your light shine.

SHINING

     

TRAVEL

If you travel about 115 miles north of Houston to Crockett Texas you will find some of the best seafood you've ever tasted.

Isn't that odd? The place, Crockett Steak & Seafood doesn't look like the food would be killer, but it is. The fact that they have a designated "waiting area" inside for "to-go" orders is a dead give away.

the

LIGHT on

The waitress steered us towards this awesome Seafood Po Boy to get an assortment of their food and for $13.00, it fed both of us. Good food & nice people!

Crockett Steak & Seafood Seafood Po Boy Catfish filet, 4 oysters, 4 shrimp, 4 scallops and 4 crawfish tails!

FACTS

Crockett is the fifth oldest city in Houston County. Houston County is the oldest county in Texas. As of the 2010 census, the population is 6,950. The town was named after David Crockett, who reportedly had camped nearby on his way to the Alamo. It's nickname?

Paradise in the pines.

Crockett TRADE DAYS

Open Friday, Saturday and Sunday on the first and third weekends of the month. And their booth space is only $20.00 if you know anyone who needs one!

18 Santa Fe Good News

                 

GOOD SHOW What's so funny about everyday life?

The six-foot-two, former Miss North Carolina with an infectious personality and a delightfully family friendly brand of humor always shares some of her funniest "life lesson" anecdotes.

SAMPLE Titles:

Jeanne Robertson

"Don't Go to Vegas Without A Baptist," "Don't Bungee Jump Naked," and "Don't Send a Man to the Grocery Store!"

And just who is Jeanne Robertson?

Jeanne Robertson is a professional speaker who specializes in hilarious humor based on her life experiences. Speaking to thousands of people annually, she utilizes her positively funny style to illustrate that a sense of humor is much more than a laughing matter.

CLICK HERE to see if she is COMING to a city NEAR YOU!

Other speakers might be as witty as Jeanne. Some might even be as tall. (Barefooted with her hair "mashed" down, she's 6'2" in her size 11B stocking feet.) But nowhere will you find a speaker so adept Jeanne Robertson is funny. Oh my, at turning personal experiences into funny material that does more than yes.

She also knows that her job is far more elicit laughter. than being funny. Her message is that a

This Miss Congeniality winner in the Miss America Pageant, sense of humor is an attitude, an approach “Yearrrrrrrrrrrs ago,� quoting Jeanne, uses her down-home Southern toward working with people. She believes drawl to leave her audiences laughing . . . and thinking about her that this humor attitude can be developed and improved, and she outlines how to do message. so while captivating audiences with funny, original stories.

Editor's Note: This is a GOOD clean night of outrageous fun you don't want to miss.

If you get the opportunity to see her live, please do, you won't be disappointed. And she SELLS OUT fast, so don't wait!

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“Okay, wait right here and I’ll get my truck,” he said and locked the brakes on her wheelchair.

Heather watched him amble across the parking lot mesmerized. However, as soon as he was out of sight, she grabbed her mother’s hand and pulled her over to her chair. Bubbling over with delight, Heather asked her mother what she thought of him.

Leah looked at her daughter’s face and smiled one of those contented, full-of-love smiles she was known for. Her daughter was beautiful when she had a smile on her face. There was no question in her mind as to what she thought. “I think he seems just great Heather, and I can tell by the look on your face what you think.”

“I think he’s the best thing I’ve seen in a long time,” Heather virtually cooed. J.C. grinned at the two of them and told them he was going to get the car while they conspired against the poor man. Heather and Leah discussed all of John’s finer qualities until he pulled up in front of them. John got out of the late model, fourdoor truck and came around to load Heather. The diesel engine was so loud under the awning that no one could talk. They all had to motion their good-byes.



Continued from page 9.

the apartment to see what all was lying about. Not that she had anything to hide, but she never had been very big on picking up much. She noticed nothing too embarrassing and went right back to thinking about him. Leaning her crutches beside the couch, he asked, “What do you want to do now?” and made his way to the other end of the couch to wait for her answer.

“I don’t know, I guess I don’t feel much like dancing,” she laughed and held up her hands indicating she didn’t have a clue. He sat down next to her and said, “You really are cute aren’t you?” patting her good knee and smiling broadly. “It’s 12:45 on a Friday night and I must say, this has been the most exciting Friday night I’ve had in a while.”

“Me too,” he agreed smiling.

“I’m not the least bit sleepy and I don’t want to take any more of those pain pills they gave me, but my foot is kind of throbbing.”

“Oh my God, that’s right! He said to keep your foot up didn’t he? That’s why it’s throbbing, it’s swelling up!” John jumped up and started grabbing pillows. He stacked four of them up on top of the ottoman and gently

Climbing inside after getting her settled in John raised her leg up on them. Heather wiggled her toes and asked, “Where do you live Heather? I forgot to ask you,” realized he was right. She could barely move them. The he admitted sheepishly. Heather gave him the address bandages were definitely getting tighter. and started giving the directions, but he stopped her. “It’s When he finished he stood in the middle of the okay, I know where that’s at. I work that district all the living room floor looking at her. She was all scrunched time.” up in the corner of the couch with her foot pointed to the

They talked about anything and everything. There ceiling on top of the pillows. John thought she looked was a comfortable, easy, peace between them. By the time terribly uncomfortable. “This isn’t gonna work,” he said. they pulled up to her apartment, Heather knew he was the “You can’t sleep here. You look like you’re in traction. Let one. Oh, she still had a hundred questions for him, but me move you to your bed.” she knew he would answer them all correctly. When he “Okay,” Heather agreed. “But I’ll warn you, the came around to help her out, Heather tried to tell him that she could use the crutches, but he told her that her arms bedroom looks like a cyclone hit it. I couldn’t make up my would get sore using them soon enough. The truth was, mind what to wear this morning!” John grabbed her up and Heather pointed the way. he didn’t mind carrying her at all. Not at all.

John stood her up at the door, while she fished her key out and got the door open. Then he picked her up again and headed to the couch. “Boy, I bet you didn’t know you were gonna get this much exercise today, did you?” she laughed, but he really didn’t even seem winded. From what she could tell, he had muscle on top of muscle, even though he really wasn’t that big a guy.

“He probably weighs about 190,” she thought. She could put her arms all the way around him and that was all that mattered at the moment.

“He must be about 6 foot tall,” she mused, “Of course that probably isn’t very accurate, since I really haven’t stood beside him much.” He went back out to the truck to get her crutches and she quickly looked around

She hadn’t underestimated the bedroom’s appearance. There were clothes everywhere. John gingerly stepped over yesterday’s outfit, and the day before, and the day before that. He stumbled a little, but was able to catch his balance. He had encountered a shoe under one of the outfits. He gently laid her on the bed and somewhat shyly, pushed a couple of sets of clothes over Continued on page 38.

“Everything that happens in this world happens at the time God chooses.”

—Ecclesiastes 3:1 GNT

20 Santa Fe Good News

Family, friends, and GOOD FOOD equals a whole lot of fun.

LAGNIAPPE

... a little something extra!

The world famous Crawfish Festival began in 1960 as a spin-off of the Breaux Bridge Centennial Celebration. The festival is now known around the country and even the world.

Breaux Bridge named the "Crawfish Capital of the World" in 1959.

Every May thousands of hungry people flock to Breaux Bridge to be part of the festivities.

The Crawfish Festival has also become one of the largest gatherings of world famous Cajun musicians. All weekend long you can hear the sound of authentic Cajun, Zydeco and Swamp Pop music rising from the festival.

You can witness over 30 bands perform over the three day event if you think you have the stamina.

It’s a perfect opportunity to see our musical tradition passed from generation to generation. Watch the Cajun dance contests, and if you’re brave, join in.

There’s no better way to learn. There are even Cajun music workshops held in the heritage tent.

The Breaux Bridge Crawfish Festival Association is a volunteer organization.

Their mission is to promote the crawfish industry in Louisiana and the culture of Cajun Country.

If you've never experienced Cajun hospitality - this is a GOOD place to start.

21 Santa Fe Good News

GOOD BOOKS REVIEWED Jesus Was a Country Boy

by Clay Walker Life Lessons on Faith, Fishing and Forgiveness

Editor's Note: This book is going to be reviewed in the next 6 issues of the Good News. Why? Because it's a GOOD BOOK and just because he's a famous singer, we don't feel he should be slighted in any way.

He put his heart and soul into a book and it deserves proper attention.

appreciation. It's the approach I try always to take with my fans when they stop me in public and ask for an autograph or want to shoot the breeze. I want them to know how much I appreciate them and their support of my music. I want them to know that I don't take them for granted and think that I'm some sort of stuck-up star.

Besides that, he's a Texas boy and he does an awful lot of GOOD work for MLS. We couldn't find the book on When we practice being good neighbors, others his website, so the link goes to Amazon where you can are able to see God's love shining through us. When read some more of it if you like, before you order it. we choose to remember that we're not the center of the world and that other people need our help, then it Here's an excerpt: keeps us humble, honest and happier than we would be A Little Extra otherwise.

Lagniappe is an attitude of going the extra mile The example Jesus set for us makes it clear that and doing it with no hidden agenda - just gratitude and noticing other people is what it's all about - caring

GOOD STUFF Founded by a 5th generation Texan, Texas Humor began as a Twitter account in December 2011. Since then, it has grown to an audience of over 200,000 Texans united by their love of chips and salsa, southern living, and the greatest state this world has ever seen. We want you to be 100% happy with your order and experience purchasing from this store. If you ever aren't or have general questions, please contact us at texashumor@gmail.com.

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TEXAS Humor 22 Santa Fe Good News

Isaiah 43:19 | GNT Watch for the new thing I am going to do. It is happening already—you can see it now!

Do you ever get tired of advertising that claims something is FREE, but it's REALLY NOT?

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about them, serving their needs and consistently forgiving them.

After writing the hit song by the same title, Mr. Walker wrote the book because he was concerned. He states in the book that what (and who) we often see representing God in the world around us doesn't represent him accurately. Jesus grew up just as country as I did, if not more so.

Please send us your thoughts after you read it, we would love to hear what you think.

Buy

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Rather Read Your Books Yourself?

13 Great Resources for Finding FREE Public Domain Books of all types!

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LibriVox FREE Public Domain Audio Books LibriVox is a site that sets out to make digital audio recordings of every existing public domain book and offer them FREE to the world on the net.

effort to digitise and archive as many free e-books in as many languages as possible, that Michael Hart launched in 1971. Gutenberg, set out to do for literary appreciation in the digital age what public libraries

The site, founded by did in the 19th century, has now Montreal-based writer and web completed 45,000 books. developer Hugh McGuire, recruited 13 people to this crusade in the week The texts, poetry, short it launched back in 2005. Together, stories, plays, novels that are the 14 read and recorded Joseph featured on LibriVox have all been Conrad’s Secret Agent. read aloud by volunteers, who record the works in chunks of about The group, which now has 6,600 a chapter, or about 20 minutes of contributors, has since gone on to audio each. complete 8200 works, with 600 in progress, in 35 languages.

The outfit is vehemently egalitarian-

volunteer to read in any language you speak, as long as you can make yourself understood in it. You don’t need to audition, we’ll accept you no matter what you sound like.’

Volunteers use free software and any old rudimentary audio equipment they have to hand to do their recording: the variations in sound quality are more than made up for in the enthusiasm and intimacy of their readings.

‘It’s a more personal experience,’ says McGuire, ‘it feels like someone’s reading to you rather than a professional packaged thing.’

McGuire’s idea was to make ‘We accept all volunteers in all The files are hosted on Internet the audio equivalent of Project languages,’ runs its blurb. ‘With all Archive as MP3 and OGGs. Gutenberg, the non-profit volunteer kinds of accents, you’re welcome to 24 Santa Fe Good News

WHERE is there a Buc-ee's near you?

Alvin Angleton Bastrop Travel Center Brazoria Cypress

HURRY!

Eagle Lake El Campo Freeport Giddings Gonzales Lake Jackson League City Luling Travel Center Madisonville Travel Center New Braunfels Travel Center Pearland Port Lavaca Richmond Texas City Waller Travel Center West Columbia Wharton Travel Center

Don't forget your BEAVER NUGGETS!

Grow OLD as Fast as You Can...

For one thing, middle age in contemporary American society is no walk in the park.

Research on happiness reveals that middle age is the unhappiest time of life. In fact, the 40s are, statistically speaking, the unhappiest decade of life.

The only way out of the “inverted U of happiness” is to get older, and the faster the better. Older people also report being more satisfied with their health and personal relationships. As one 71-yearold man explained to me, “It takes a long time to get things right.”

~Author Unknown

The magazine that focuses on all the GOOD THINGS in life!

You become stronger and stronger in your beliefs over time.

GOD

santafegoodnews.com

GOOD NEWS

↓

GOOD LIFE Looking at just a couple of GOOD THINGS can change the outlook of your day...

25 Santa Fe Good News

Make the sky your limit this year!

Blackberries Peaches Tomatoes Pears Blueberries Strawberries Figs Satsumas Plums Persimmons * And some have herbs and vegetables too!

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Washed Ashore is included with your paid Zoo admission and is free for Zoo members.

The aquatic trash in our oceans is harmful to wildlife like sea turtles. One group came up with a creative solution that would both remove some of the debris and also educate people about the dangers of plastic pollution.

The group is called the Washed Ashore Project, and it is a non-profit, community-based organization with a mission of educating and creating awareness about marine debris and plastic pollution through art.

The Houston Zoo is the place to see a special Washed Ashore art exhibit featuring giant sculptures of the sea life most affected by plastic pollution, made entirely of marine debris collected from beaches. From a Styrofoam coral reef to a plastic bottle sea jelly to a recycled plastic whale rib cage (that’s 10’ tall and 23’ long!), guests of all ages will have a blast interacting with these awesome creatures while learning all about how they can help save wildlife.

"Will you come see me?

I'll be waiting for you at the Houston Zoo." Not-So-Fun Facts About Plastic Pollution: • The average American will throw away approximately 185 pounds of plastic in a year.

• Plastic bags are petroleum-based and do not biodegrade.

• More than 100,000 marine animals die each year from eating plastic pollution in our oceans.

• Sea turtles and other ocean creatures mistake plastics and other garbage as food (such as jellyfish) and ingest it. This causes blockages within their digestive system.

There is roughly 315 BILLION pounds of plastic in our oceans today.

ZOO Hours 9 a.m. – 6 p.m. Last entry 5 p.m.

The Houston Zoo is open seven days a week, 364 days a year. We are closed on Christmas Day. We close early on Christmas eve, and are closed during the day on Thanksgiving Day.

General Admission Zoo Members – FREE Children 1 and Under – FREE Children 2-11 – $13 Adults 12-64 – $17 Senior 65+ – $10.50

FREE Afternoon

To plan your next visit CLICK HERE http://www.houstonzoo.org/plan-your-visit/

April 5th *See the first Tuesday dates for more details.

27 Santa Fe Good News

21

GOOD REASONS to subscribe to the GOOD NEWS! 1. It’s FREE! 2. It’s available 24/7 online & storable to be read w/o an internet connection.

3. It has really pretty pictures.

4. It’s almost all Good News, instead of the other way around.

5. It has GOOD food in it.

6. It never gets old because GOOD is always GOOD, no matter when YOU hear about it.

7. You can share it for FREE.

28

8. It’s got variety – so there’s something for everyone.

9. It has national, regional & local GOOD articles, ideas, events & topics.

10. It doesn’t pile up in your house.

11. It has gun reviews, law enforcement stories & other man stuff.

12. It’s Christian based.

13. It’s family owned.

14. It won’t ever depress you.

15. It will make you laugh, cry & think sometimes.

16. It’s read all over the world.

17. You can copy anything you like & share it.

18. It’s guaranteed to be full of GOOD STUFF. 19. It exists to encourage you.

20. It has a variety of reviews – on everything. Country music, movies, books, restaurants & even motorcycles occasionally. & #21 is... it’s ALL American made!

Are you wanting to step out & do something NEW in 2016? This could be News the sign you've been looking for...

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Just a little something to ponder...

It is far more pressing to create a change back towards morality and common decency than to vote for people whose main objective is trying to control climate change.

Having a cleaner planet won't matter when we blow it up because we can't get along.

29 Santa Fe Good News

THINK

outside of your box!

Good Clean PUZZLE FUN a.k.a. Brain Food 1. No sooner spoken than broken. What is it?

2. I went into the woods and got it. I sat down to seek it. I brought it home with me because I couldn't find it. What is it?

3. I am weightless, but you can see me. Put me in a bucket, and I'll make it lighter. What am I? 4. At night they come without being fetched, and by day they are lost without being stolen. What are they?

5. I'm where yesterday follows today, and tomorrow's in the middle. What am I? 6. From the beginning of eternity, to the end of time and space, to the beginning of every end and the end of every place. What am I?

Answers

You Can W Listen NO e! d i W d l r o W 30 Santa Fe Good News 30 Santa Fe Good News

on page

37.

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LOCAL NEWS NEWS Men’s Club Breakfast Our Lady of Lourdes Church & School MaDonna Hall April 10th from 08:00 – 12:00 $6.00 per Plate Full or Burrito Breakfast

LOCAL NEWS NEWS

Entertainment Line -Up April 8th - 8:30 pm - Jason James

10:30 pm - Tracy Byrd April 9th - 8:30 pm - Southbound 45

10:30 pm - Kyle Park April 10th - Fiesta Sunday

2:00 pm - YoYo Y La Verdadd

4:00 pm - Tejano Knights

6:00 pm - Jaime Y Los Chamacos April 14th - 8:00 pm - Six Appeal April 15th - 8:30 pm - Story Book Road

10:30 pm - Johnny Lee April 16th - 8:00 pm - Beggars Union

10:00 pm - Bag of Donuts

Photo provided by Kay Stenzel

SERVING GALVESTON COUNTY YOUTH SINCE 1938 33 Santa Fe Good News

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If it's GOOD NEWS about anything or anyone anywhere... We Want You to Know About It! 35 Santa Fe Good News 35 Santa Fe Good News

BUY Boots! to SUPPORT the TROOPS!

Amazon will donate 0.5% of the price of your eligible AmazonSmile purchases to Boot Campaign Inc whenever you shop on AmazonSmile. You can select a different charitable organization after signing in. •AmazonSmile is the same Amazon you know. Same products, same prices, same service. • Support your charitable organization by starting your shopping at smile.amazon.com.

At peace with God, with ourselves and with the life we have created...

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it's a personal preference.

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That is serenity lived outloud.

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Great LOVE begins by giving great LOVE away...

Good Clean PUZZLE FUN a.k.a. Brain Food Answers Solution 1.

Silence or a secret.

Solution 4.

Stars or dreams.

Solution 2.

A splinter.

Solution 5.

A dictionary.

Solution 3.

A hole.

Solution 6.

The letter e.

There is only ONE ANSWER to all of life's problems... LOVE.

37 Santa Fe Good News

When you act like life is a blessing ... it becomes one. ~ Author Unknown Continued from page 20. to the unused side of the bed. Heather laughed and joked like to wear.” Seeing him falling, Heather couldn’t help that she might be somewhat of a clotheshorse. but start laughing. She couldn’t hear him. “Do you want me to change clothes or what John? I can’t hear you,

John immediately seemed antsy. Heather noticed you’re mumbling,” she asked, as she continued to laugh. and assumed it was because of the mess. John was antsy, but that wasn’t why. There was an aura in the room, for John pulled himself up and asked her, “Do lack of a better term. Her things were scattered all over it you want me to get you something more comfortable and it was as though her presence had engulfed him when to wear? That’s all I wanted to know. You look terribly he walked in. uncomfortable, but I can leave you that way. It’s not that big a deal,” he said, obviously irritated and embarrassed.

The cream colored walls were mostly unadorned and yet the room still felt small. Her scent, like flowers Heather calmed down, seeing his embarrassment or something, was everywhere. Her clothes covered the and told him to get her a gown out of the top dresser beige carpet, making drifts of color, which seemed to drawer. John carefully picked his way across the room overwhelm him. He quickly turned and went back into through the clothes. He retrieved a long, pink grannythe living room to get her more pillows and some air. The gown-looking thing, after holding it up for her approval. living room seemed less crowded, less full of her.

Handing it to her, he turned to leave. Heather realized she wouldn’t be able to get her jeans off over the splint.

When he thought he had his emotions under Thinking fast, she knew she would rather have him take control, he grabbed up the stack of pillows and headed the pants off while she had her shirt and bra on. That back for more of her. He stacked the pillows up on the bed would be better than to put the gown on and then be braand gently propped her foot up. Again when he stepped less while she wiggled out of her jeans. away from her he noticed she looked uncomfortable.

It took him a minute to realize what the problem was. “John I’m not gonna be able to do this,” she said.

“You’re not going to be able to sleep in those jeans.

Don’t you have something more comfortable to wear?”

John turned back around with a stunned look he asked. on his face. He looked so shy, Heather started laughing again. “Haven’t you ever seen underwear before? I do

That got Heather’s attention. She had been have some on, and they probably cover more than my watching him so closely, that all she heard was “jeans swimsuit does,” she explained. and get more comfortable”. She didn’t know if he meant him or her. The look of shock that crossed her face was enough to embarrass John. He started to pace and tripped Editor's Note: You can find more of this adventure in over another one of her shoes. He landed flat on his butt on Chapter 3 in next month's issue of the Good News. If the floor looking up at her. He was mumbling something you missed Chapter 1 you can catch up starting on about, “All I asked was if you had clothes that you would page 10 in last month's issue by clicking here.

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Call (409) 925-2775 locally.

Coming Next Month...

A whole issue devoted to GOODNESS. Something we need to see more of, don't you think?.

The Galveston County Animal Shelter has REDUCED the "Adoption Fee" for cats and dogs that are already Neutered/Spayed ("fixed") to half price--$42.50, which includes all their shots including rabies and microchip.

And often there are pets available who are "Sponsored" - meaning their "Adoption Fee" has already been paid by a generous donor to help you get them out!

39 Santa Fe Good News

The LAST Word...

Depth of Field at it's best...

I shall pass this way but once; any good that I can do or any kindness I can show to any human being; let me do it now. Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again. ~Etienne de Grellet, Quaker Missionary MAKE US YOUR FRIEND & YOU CAN ENJOY OUR DAILY POSTS OF GOOD NEWS TOO!

AS ALWAYS, THANKS FOR READING THE GOOD NEWS!