SEEMA JUNE 2021

JUNE 2021

INSIDE

EXCLUSIVE:

ANISHA BHATIA ON THE RULES OF ARRANGEMENT

PLUS

TALESHA MAYA ON BROWN GIRL PROBLEMS

REIMAGINING THE QUEER DESI EXPERIENCE ICONIC SOUTH ASIAN GIRL DADS FATHER’S DAY GIFT GUIDE

MARVELOUS THE

MANEET CHAUHAN

THE JOURNEY BEGINS AT MANIPAL’S AMERICAN UNIVERSITY OF ANTIGUA COLLEGE OF MEDICINE AUAA

“In this era, our generation seeks to be more than our profession. Yes, we are doctors. But we are fathers, baseball coaches, community leaders etc.

”

Dr. Bilal Khan AUA 2011

“To the world I am Doctor Mathew, to my family I am daddy! I love my job, but my family is my life!!!

”

Dr. Aswin Mathew AUA 2011

“I believe in practicing what you preach which allows me to give my very best to my son.

”

Dr. Donish Siddiqi AUA 2013

Start your medical journey today!

G O. AUA M E D. O R G / S E E M A 2 0 2 1 FA

Malaika Vaz page 8

Jonita Gandhi page 26

Sapna Pandya page 22

5

CONTRIBUTORS BEYOND LIMITS

PIONEERS

ENTREPRENEURS

38 A Practical Guide

66 A Cishet Woman’s Guide

to Fitness

70 An Ode to the Brown Girl

FEATURES

HOROSCOPE

‘How Do You Fight

Your Own Mind?’

44 In Service of Humanity

8

Crack Shot

48 Frontline Fathers

12 Arati Kumar-Rao

52 SEEMA Father’s Day

and the Rivers of

Environmental Change

56 South Asian Pop

Culture’s Most Iconic

Girl Dads

Desi Experience

ON THE COVER

‘Success is the Ability to Make People Feel Good’

30

TRAVEL

24 Dr. Asima Ahmad

60 Full of Beans

Helps Women

62 Barren Splendor in

Conceive Our Future

26 On a Song

73 Forecast with Farzana

Gift Guide

18 Grace Banu on Visibility, 22 Reimagining the Queer

to Desi Queer Lives

42 Doing it Right‒Stylishly

6

Identity, and Giving Back

BOOKS

the Himalayas

PHOTO CREDIT: AMELIA J MOORE PHOTOGRAPHY

4

CONTENTS

MEET OUR

CONTRIBUTORS FOUNDER AND EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

SEEMA KUMAR CREATIVE DIRECTOR

SAJID MOINUDDIN

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DESIGN

HB DESIGN EDITORIAL COORDINATOR

ROHINI KAPUR EDITORIAL ASSOCIATE

AHAD SANWARI WRITERS @seemanetwork

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NUPUR BHATNAGAR JACQUELINE EMIGH AKANKSHA SINGH BRIAN SODOMA ADAM CARPENTER RASHMI GOPAL RAO BINDU GOPAL RAO SUGATO MUKHERJEE PRATIKA YASHASWI HEENA KAUSAR AHAD SANWARI BRAND PARTNERSHIPS, DEVELOPMENT AND STRATEGY

ANJALI MANIAM

SEEMA™ ISSUE 006 | JUNE 2021

EMPOWERING SOUTH ASIAN WOMEN GLOBALLY SEEMA KUMAR, FOUNDER

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ON THE COVER:

MANEET CHAUHAN (PAGE 30).

PHOTO CREDIT: AMELIA J MOORE PHOTOGRAPHY

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GOING

BEYOND LIMITS

J

A Time for Reckoning

une is a month jam-packed with milestones. Arriving after a much needed three-day Memorial Day weekend respite in the United States, it heralds the coming of summer, the beginning of Pride Month, Juneteenth, Father’s Day, and World Fertility Awareness Month. June also brings the summer solstice, the longest day of the year in the northern hemisphere, and signifies the end of the first half of the year, making it a time to take stock, and chart a new path for the remaining six months.

This year, in particular, June brings new hope in the United States as we aim to reach President Biden’s goal of 70% vaccination of all adults by July 4. A new survey conducted by the Kaiser Family Foundation suggests that this goal is reachable, given that 62% said they had received at least one dose of the vaccine in May (up from 56% in April). As we cautiously shed our masks post-vaccination, step back into stores and restaurants, and gather in small groups outdoors, I am reminded of how much we cherish our freedom to be shielded from unseen enemies and how we long for physical connection with people.

Thanks to vaccinations, we are able to celebrate again, not via Zoom like we have been doing in the past year, but in the flesh. At a small graduation gathering our family held outdoors for our son, we had

an opportunity to see and hug our close family and friends for the first time in more than a year. There is something about congratulating a graduate with a handshake that is viscerally satisfying. And pleasure in being able to dress up for occasions. To rid oneself of frumpy sweatpants with glee, wear summer dresses and high heels, and don lipstick without a mask to smudge it.

Our celebration is tempered by the thought of extended family and friends in India who continue to suffer through the second wave of the pandemic and wait in anticipation of vaccines as India, the largest exporter of vaccines is currently facing shortages with less than 5% of its population fully vaccinated.

But there is a glimmer of hope as cases have dropped dramatically over the past two weeks, thanks to strict lockdowns in Mumbai and Delhi, two cities worst hit by the second wave. Efforts to expand vaccine manufacturing and vaccinate people will hopefully help.

Back here in the United States, we will cautiously celebrate freedom from the pandemic as we also mark freedom from social injustice. We honor Pride Month and the rights of the LGBTQ community with rainbow flags and parades; we will commemorate Juneteenth or Freedom Day on June 19 to mark freedom from slavery.

We will honor our own fathers and fathers of nations on Father’s Day June 20, and celebrate summer solstice on June 20 and 21. Finally, with June being Fertility Awareness Month, we celebrate the latest advances in technology that are helping couples to conceive and experience the joys of parenthood. Our June issue is jam-packed and we hope you enjoy reading the issue.

SEEMA KUMAR, FOUNDER JUNE 2021 | SEEMA.COM | 5

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SIV U L C X EMA E

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‘HOW DO YOU FIGHT YOUR OWN MIND?’ Anisha Bhatia on the agony and ecstasy of writing her upcoming novel

NUPUR BHATNAGAR

A

uthor Anisha Bhatia’s novel, “The Rules of Arrangement,” is a witty tale of finding one’s path.

It is a delightful, yet incisive social commentary of modernity juxtaposed with tradition, of people at war with their very own conditioning.

Here is my conversation with Bhatia about her creative journey and the behind the scenes of her soon to be released “The Rules of Arrangement.”

Thank you for talking to us, Anisha. Obviously, the first question that comes to my mind is, How did the idea of becoming a writer come to you?

I started writing because I didn’t want to forget my grandparents. I grew

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up listening to stories about their lives in Sindh and the home they left behind during the Partition. After my second child, I took up an evening class at the University of California, San Diego simply to get out of the house. The class was called “Creating Unforgettable Characters,” and Sheila Bua was the result!

What does writing mean to you?

For instance, is it cathartic, invigorating or even exhausting?

Oh gosh, writing is all that! Exhausting, when the piece does not come together, when the characters won’t do what you want them to. Invigorating, like breathing in the freshest, purest air, when connections are formed in the story, when characters work together,

or when I meet other writers who are just as neurotic as me! And its always cathartic because writing helps you become more compassionate and to make sense of things around you.

What is your thought process like when you conceptualize a book and go through its nuances and sketch out characters and situations?

My thought process is all over the place. But it always starts with a theme, or what I’m trying to say. For example: how do you fight your own mind?

That, to me, is the central theme of “The Rules of Arrangement.”

Tell us a little about “The Rules of Arrangement” “The Rules of Arrangement” is the story of Zoya Sahni, who simply put, wants a different life. But she doesn’t know it. On the surface, she wants what she is made to want: a good, Indian married life. But as things unfurl and stories come to light, she realizes that fighting one’s mind is the hardest thing to do, and that everyone has a story, even annoying matchmaking aunties. Sheila Bua is Zoya’s paternal aunt and a force in herself. It is through the unveiling of her story that Zoya comes to understand the price is paid when dreams are abandoned. The book comes with a motley crew of members: bosses, cousins, friends, you name it.

Is “The Rules of Arrangement” your social commentary on what you’ve personally seen or experienced in India or even after moving to America?

I would say so, yes. For example, even with all the educational and technological advancements in India, not marrying is not a viable option.

The thought that a person, a woman, wants to remain unmarried or childfree, voluntarily, is something Indian society still finds difficult to accept.

How long did it take you to finish the book?

I had actually started writing it in 2014, but very lazily. I wrote only because I had to read my work every two weeks in a Read and Critique class.

So, I chugged along. I only started

considering it as a book and writing seriously from 2016 onward, then on the weekends in 2017 when I started working full time. After a lot of editing and re-editing, I found my agent in 2019, and a publisher in 2020 and here we are!

What is usually the hardest part of your creative process?

The first draft for sure, when you have no idea where you’re going. You can’t see the path ahead at all.

There’s a reason it’s called the first draft from hell!

Do you draw inspiration from real life and people to etch out your characters?

I usually do. But it’s never one person.

It’s like a buffet – take one attribute from a person, another’s physical quirk, maybe a particular way they sit or stand or twitch their nose, then add a backstory that I might have heard, and make it fit together to create a completely new person.

While writing your book, which part did you find hardest to write and what the most fun?

I loved writing the irreverent thoughts inside Zoya’s head. Growing up in India, you were not allowed to say things out loud which could mark you as a firebrand (read: not good daughterin-law material), but I think a lot of girls have thoughts like these running through their heads.

And Sheila Bua, of course! I LOVED writing the funny things she says!

Lalit Khurana was the hardest to write. I realize that I need to be sympathetic toward a character I’m writing, no matter how “bad” they are.

If I don’t like them, I can’t write them.

For the longest time, Lalit escaped me, and one of my astute writer friends told me it was because I didn’t like him. I was horrified. It was like being told you don’t like one of your kids – ha!

Was there anything interesting or even unsettling that you discovered, either about yourself or anything else during your research?

Writing Sheila Bua’s character has made me more compassionate towards older women. As a young woman growing up in India, there was – and I believe still is – no dearth of aunties to give you advice. I had never thought about them as being people, ones who had a life apart from their auntieselves. The book made me see them in a new light.

What do you do when you’re not writing? What’s your mantra for balancing work and family responsibilities?

When I’m not writing, you’ll find me either in a bookshop or on a beach or rummaging through my pantry looking for snacks – for my kids, not myself! OK, I may have occasionally snuck a bunch of unhealthy stuff for myself, too! Balancing work and family responsibilities is an everevolving process. Some days it works seamlessly, while on other days you are grateful to escape with your sanity intact. Discipline and patience help. A helpful spouse is also key, so ladies, choose well!

Is there any message that you aspire to give through your book, or hope the readers will take home with them?

I’d like to tell them that fighting your mind, your conditioning, is one of the hardest things a person can do.

And that the people around them, their elders, the aunties and uncles, all of them have a story. They are who they’ve become because of that story.

And foremost, I wrote this story for girls, for women, especially South Asian, who’ve been made to feel “less” than because of their appearance or weight or skin. I want to tell them that you are enough, you deserve all the good things, all the chances you get – take those chances, don’t hold yourself back, and watch yourself soar!

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CRACK SHOT

Malaika Vaz on teaching survival training, trailing traffickers, and hunting big game with a camera JACQUELINE EMIGH

M

alaika Vaz has gotten up close to wild Asian lions, walked down jungle paths with the children of tiger poachers, and gone undercover in India, Hong Kong, and China to report on the illegal trafficking of manta rays.

These are only a few snapshots from a series of documentaries that Vaz, just 24 but an award-winning filmmaker, has created in the past five years to draw attention to the environment, endangered species, community-led conservation efforts, and wildlife trafficking for TV audiences worldwide.

“My films are inspired by my passion for the natural world but motivated by a sense of urgency.” Vaz tells SEEMA. “The diversity of life our planet supports is incredible, and we have to give the fight for planetary protection everything we’ve got – while we still can.”

“My favorite part of the filmmaking process is synthesizing the issue in all its complexity and then creating a film that can marry nuance with exciting storytelling, I absolutely love writing scripts, presenting on camera, directing a film, getting the story in the field, and working with my amazing team on putting it all together.”

TRAILING MANTA TRAFFICKERS Vaz had both the beach and the forest practically in her yard as a kid in Goa, a state on the west coast of India. In exploring her natural surroundings while growing up, she ultimately became a PADI (Professional Association of Diving Instructors) Dive Master, competitive windsurfer, Cessna pilot, and endurance horse rider.

She was first captivated by the intelligence and grace of the manta rays while scuba diving off the coast. She has swum with the manta and taken photos underwater of these huge but harmless sea creatures. When she later learned about the extent of illegal trafficking in manta parts, she decided to

Malaika Vaz up a tree (top) Malaika Vaz with an elephant (above) JUNE 2021 | SEEMA.COM | 9

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Scuba diving in shallow waters

“ILLEGAL MARINE TRAFFICKING SLIPS UNDER THE RADAR SO OFTEN, WHICH IS WHY I CHOSE TO SHINE A LIGHT ON IT THROUGH MY FILM”

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investigate using film.

A Jackson Wild Media Award winner, plus a nominee for a Green Emmy, the film “Peng Yu Sai” tells the tale of how some Indian fishermen slaughter mantas in large numbers, selling the carcasses at high prices. The manta parts are smuggled through criminal rings into Hong Kong and, ultimately, to China.

While manta ray meat is tough and lacking in taste, it is the gill plate that is prized. Peng yu sai translates from the Chinese into manta gill soup. The soup is regarded as a healthy delicacy by many in China, where it is touted as a remedy for everything from acne to lung conditions.

Actually, though, toxicology studies show that many manta gills contain high levels of mercury, arsenic, lead, cadmium, etc., which can be hazardous to health.

“Illegal marine trafficking slips under the radar so often, which is why I chose to shine a light on it through my film,” Vaz told SEEMA. “It documents the illegal manta ray trade from fishing vessels in the Indian Ocean to the insurgencyhit Indo-Myanmar border to the final markets in Hong Kong and

Guangzhou. … From posing as a seafood trader in Guangzhou and filming undercover in some incredibly hostile places to following the trade pipeline and meeting with trafficking kingpins at remote border towns – filming this documentary has been quite the adventure.”

As Vaz sees it, these and her other investigations demonstrate close links between wildlife trafficking and other criminal activities, including those involving drugs, arms sales, human trafficking. and even political insurgency and violence.

“I personally believe that we have to tackle the criminal syndicates trading in wild animals using the might of our police, legislative and armed forces – while also finding alternative means of employment for the smaller players in the system who are driven by circumstance,” she says.

LIVING WITH BIG CATS Many wild animals on land also face extinction. As part of a grant from the National Geographic Society, Vaz has presented and directed a TV series on communitydriven “big cat” protection.

The series examines how humans are co-existing peacefully with Asiatic lions in and around Gir National Park, Bengal tigers from Ranthambore National Park, and leopards from Jawai, Rajasthan, even when the cats roam into human residential and farming areas. While big cats can pose threats to humans, the animals have been victimized by people, too. Around Rathambore, gangs of poachers once nearly wiped out the

Bengal tiger population, but it has bounced back since then.

Today, children there are enrolled in a program that shows them how to respect and co-exist with animals. Ex-poachers and their spouses are getting paid to create crafts at home, enabling them to sustain a living without resorting to violence. In the film, Vaz takes a nature walk with the kids. A counselor teaches them bird calls and how to defend themselves peaceably if ever cornered by a tiger.

Meanwhile, village wildlife volunteers are shown how to capture poachers on video using camera traps that can be tripped in the stealth of night.

“While filming this series, I saw first-hand how local conservationists, tribes, and trained forest rangers have the potential to protect species and conserve habitat effectively, in ways that no outside non-profit or government entity could hope to do,” Vaz says.

BUT THAT’S NOT ALL Vaz is the co-founder and creative director of Untamed Planet, a production house specializing in documentary filmmaking about the natural world.

A National Geographic Explorer, she was named an Earthshot Prize Advocate for 2021 in a program founded by Prince William to encourage conservation action globally. She also collaborates with organizations like WildAid and the Wildlife Trust of India on wildlife trafficking investigations and conservation initiatives.

During the pandemic, she has taken part in a documentary for Al Jazeera’s global networks on how bats and pangolins also need habitat protection, to prevent transmission of diseases to people and well as to safeguard the animals from human illnesses.

Other projects she has completed include a film on elephant trafficking for young audiences, a documentary on migrant workers, and an eight-part Discovery Channel/Animal Planet India series on rare species such as the purple frog, red panda, Himalayan black bear, king cobra, and slender loris.

Vaz expects that, this year, Untamed Planet will film a couple of new films on wildlife conservation for broadcast.

“Besides this, we’re producing a new three-part series on how environment pollution disproportionately impacts vulnerable communities, with support from The National Geographic Society,” she says.

According to Vaz, “We’ll be filming in Mongolia, Bangladesh and India and diving into topics ranging from the fallouts of nuclear power, to the impact of fast fashion on river ecosystems, to how geopolitical factors exacerbate coal pollution in Asia and beyond. The series will be solutions-oriented, and it will cover some uncharted territory.”

A MEDIA NETWORK FOR THE ENVIRONMENT? What about further into the future? “I’d like to scale up the work Untamed Planet does over the next decade and also start a new media network in ten to 15 years. My goal is to ensure that environmental storytelling is not relegated to the sidelines but is mainstreamed,” Vaz says.

“I’d also like to actively help more young women from around the world – especially from historically underrepresented communities like mine – to become filmmakers, presenters and storytellers,” she says. “I’m not sure how I’m going to do that yet, but it is something that I really care about.”

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ALL PHOTOS CREDIT: UNTAMED PLANET

On a trek (below); posing with a snake (bottom)

ALL PHOTOS CREDIT: ARATI KUMAR-RAO

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JACQUELINE EMIGH

“B

lindly adopting what may be good for the West in India, or even what may work in one part of India in another, has gotten us into the hot water we are in and will likely not stand us in good stead in the future,” said Arati KumarRao, who’s been chronicling the impact of environmental change in India over the past nine years.

In 2012. Kumar-Rao, a former Intel executive and biophysicist, went off on her own into nature with a camera in hand, capturing her surroundings in words and photos.

Since 2014, she has spent much of her time gaining and sharing an understanding of the most populated river basin on Earth: the Ganga-Brahmaputra-Meghna, across India and Bangladesh.

‘THE LIFEBLOOD OF A LAND’

Wildlife photogra pher

Arati Kumar-Rao

Hilsa fishers in the Sundarbans

“Freshwater is the lifeblood of a land. How we treat our water speaks volumes about our understanding of its importance,” Kumar-Rao tells SEEMA. “Unfortunately, we seem to have a rather poor understanding these days. Rivers — from the source to the sea — affect societies in a million ways. Their health determines our future.”

“To follow a river and understand how it connects — and therefore affects — societies along its course is to be able to begin to formulate policies that might work,” she says. “It is essential for us to study the river as a basin — as a large intricately connected system — to be able to craft good, meaningful, and appropriate policy.”

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Siang district in Arunachal Pradesh, India (above) and a photo of a fisherboy (bottom)

Kumar-Rao added the northwesternmost tip of the Indian subcontinent, the Union Territory of Ladakh, to her explorations in 2018, and the western coast of India in 2019.

‘POWERS THAT BE’ DON’T ALWAYS GET IT In projects like The River Diaries and The Fresh Water Trail, she uses a series of vignettes to show how local

wildlife and the livelihoods of rural people are connected to environmental events. They include oil spills, deforestation, industrial pollution, mining, declining biodiversity, water diversion through dam construction, and the onslaught of invasive species.

Through her first-hand accounts from the field, readers see fishermen losing their traditional way of making a living, families suffering water shortages and malnutrition, animals struggling against altered habitats, and people sometimes forfeiting the land.

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Also in 2019, Kumar-Rao began work on a grant from National Geographic Society to document forced human migration, although the pandemic has paused her fieldwork.

“How we treat our landscapes directly affects livelihood,” she says. “What intrigues me most is how the ‘powers that be’ seem either willfully blind or ignorant about the deep connections between ecology and the economy.”

EARLY INFLUENCES

“WHAT INTRIGUES ME MOST IS HOW THE ‘POWERS THAT BE’ SEEM EITHER WILLFULLY BLIND OR IGNORANT ABOUT THE DEEP CONNECTIONS BETWEEN ECOLOGY AND THE ECONOMY”

Kumar-Rao comes to environmental exploration from a varied career and a family background that blended philosophy and activism. In an essay for the Indian Memory Project, she once told about how some members of her family still live in a house built in 1910 by M. Hirayanna, her greatgreat-grandfather and a professor of Sanskrit. Her ancestor left behind “a priceless legacy in his writings on Indian philosophy – many of which are now textbooks and staples,” she says.

Kumar-Rao told SEEMA about how her own father’s role as an environmentalist sparked her interest when she was growing up in Bangalore.

“He read to me from works of great land-ethic philosophers like Wendell Berry and Masanobu Fukuoka,” she recalls. “Listening to this, and to my father’s thoughts about how large dams affect landscapes, profoundly influenced the trajectory of my life.” Articles from National Geographic were another early influence.

“The yellow-bordered magazine would come home each month. I would pore over the stories and imagine myself telling them,” she says.

‘IT WAS TIME’

After high school, Kumar-Rao earned a bachelor’s degree in biophysics in India, and then worked in a university laboratory for a while. Bored with the lab setting and up for new experiences, she took a job as a cub reporter in India with Society magazine. She subsequently traveled to the U.S., where she earned two master’s degrees – in instruction design using multimedia and international business administration – and launched a career in tech marketing.

“Every single thing I have done in life has informed me in some way or another. Each moment has been a teaching moment — and therefore a learning moment,” she says. Kumar-Rao’s life turned in its current direction when, while working in tech marketing, she suffered a bout of typhus, followed by a relapse of the disease.

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“THIS IS PARTICULARLY TRUE WHEN IT COMES TO ENVIRONMENTAL ISSUES AND THAT DOES A TERRIBLE DISSERVICE TO THE ISSUE AT HAND AS WE TEND TO FOCUS ONLY ON THE SYMPTOMS OF A LARGER, DEEPER, AND MORE INSIDIOUS PROBLEM”

“Home and in bed for a couple months gave me ample time to re-evaluate my life choices,” she recalls “It was during this time that I decided to quit corporate life and do what I have always wanted to do — research and tell stories about our land. It was an important decision, as I would be trading in a steady and comfortable paycheck for the uncertainty of the life of a freelance storyteller – but it was time.”

LONG-FORM PHOTOJOURNALISM

A photo shot in the Sundarbans

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As a writer and photographer today, Kumar Rao practices what she refers to as long-form photojournalism.

“The news today seems to be full of crash, boom, bang, sink, drown, burn, explode. It speaks of events. There is very little by way of analysis,” she says. “This is particularly true

Log collectors

Tongi fisherwomen

when it comes to environmental issues and that does a terrible disservice to the issue at hand as we tend to focus only on the symptoms of a larger, deeper, and more insidious problem.”

“The problem may even lie spatially or temporally removed from the current ‘event’ or symptom. Unless we slow down, walk back the problem in history, follow the problem upstream and downstream, we will miss opportunities to truly address it.“ With three other journalists, Kumar-Rao cofounded The Peepli Project to further the work of “making connections beyond the headlines” by publishing long-form pieces about the environment.

PAY ATTENTION TO LOCAL NEEDS

In doing her research and telling her stories, Kumar-Rao often finds that the best environmental solutions are not always that mysterious or far away.

“We need to maybe take a step back from the thinking that technology will solve all environmental problems. The solution is often far less glamorous, far less costly, and much more simple than those

in power and international banks would prefer,” she explains. How can other people help out with environmental efforts? “If we all pay attention, open our eyes and ears to what is going on around us, take the time to learn about what local needs are and what is appropriate and equitable in that milieu, and raise our voice against injustice or unscientific and inappropriate development, it will be plenty,” she says.

LISTEN TO YOURSELF

Kumar-Rao advice to other women who are considering leaving the corporate world and blazing their own new trails in their chosen fields of endeavor?

“If you have the means, do not let society dictate what you should and should not do. Listen to yourself, listen to what you really want to do,” she recommends. “If it needs upskilling, spend the time to get so good at it that they cannot ignore you any longer, and then go do it. Along the way, embrace people who could use a hand, take them along. Stay humble, keep learning, and never ever let anyone else define who you can be.”

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GRACE BANU ON VISIBILITY, IDENTITY, AND GIVING BACK In India, caste and sexual identity come together in an intersectionality that works like a double-edged sword for the trans community

Still from Grace: The Documentary, the official selection for the 2020 Mosaic International South Asian Film Festival

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AKANKSHA SINGH

W

hen I ask Grace Banu what her age is there’s an impish pause. “Hmm, shall we say ‘thirty plus’?” She laughs. I can’t help but join her. “I’m sure we can,” I reply, hoping my editors will find this humorous, too.

Despite her jovial demeanor, Banu’s story is anything but.

Growing up in Thoothukudi, Tamil Nadu, Banu knew something was different about her – and, whatever it was, people didn’t like it.

Banu, who was assigned male at birth, was also born a Dalit; a member of the most oppressed caste in the Indian caste system. “I told my principal my [caste] identity – and they didn’t accept me. They said [to my mother], ‘No, we can’t accept your children!’”

After a week of pleading with the principal, Banu’s mother was given a conditional offer. “Your children should follow [these] guidelines,” the principal told her: the children were to come to school half an hour after classes started and leave half an hour before they finished; they weren’t to talk to anyone at school; and they weren’t to sit in their classrooms. Instead, they were to sit under a nearby tree.

Caste discrimination is still rampant in India – and globally, owing to the size of the Indian diaspora. However, in Banu’s case, discrimination was soon to be two-fold on account of her gender identity.

“I was a child, [but] I knew this wasn’t my body,” says Banu, “I knew I was a female – like my sister or my mother – I [knew] it was a fake body.”

“I had a partner,” she confesses, “a boy – once upon a time; in school [...] That’s how [classmates] came to know about my identity.” Her voice is grave. I don’t press for details.

By 16, Banu had had enough.

Isolated from the world she knew, she attempted suicide.

Those were the days when, after all, there were no words to explain what she was going through. No easily accessible internet to say: “This is gender dysphoria – where you wrestle with your gender identity and the sex-related gender characteristics society has forced on you… you will get through this.” Banu dropped out of school and told her parents the truth: she was a woman and her male body betrayed her identity.

“My parents weren’t [educated] – they didn’t know anything about trans persons,” says Banu.

“They thought they’d lost all their dreams, like [their] children have this kind of ‘problem’ – and they put me into an asylum.”

She spent three months there undergoing conversion therapy.

It was there, however, that she happened upon Ambedkar and Marx and Periyar. “I read all the political leaders,” she says, adding, “after I read all the books, I realized why people were treating me and my people this way.” The anger in voice is palpable: “Why was my community begging and being pushed into sex work? Why did society give this [life] to my community?”

The anger fueled her motivation, and she knew what she had to do: make a difference. “I knew my

“I TOLD MY PRINCIPAL MY [CASTE] IDENTITY – AND THEY DIDN’T ACCEPT ME. THEY SAID [TO MY MOTHER], ‘NO, WE CAN’T ACCEPT YOUR CHILDREN!’”

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Another still from Grace: The Documentary

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community needed safe employment, so I said to the doctor, ‘Okay, doctor, I feel male.’” She was discharged immediately but didn’t return home.

The birth family and her friends – people whom she’d known her entire existence – had cut her off. Instead, she went to what would become her trans family. They welcomed her without question, and she was adopted by a trans mother, Munna, who called her “Grace.”

At this point, the journalist in me wants to ask Banu what her birth name was. I don’t. Her deadname is dead for a reason. I’ve already prodded her pain further than I would if this weren’t an interview. I know her, as many others in India do, as “Grace Banu.”

When Banu told Munna she didn’t want to go into sex work or begging, unwavering, Munna replied: “Whatever you [want to] do, do – I will support you.”

Banu went on to do remarkable things. Not just for a child who attended school under a tree, either.

She completed a diploma in computer science with honors (and never owned a computer throughout the degree), and credits a Muslim friend’s grandfather, who paid her final year’s college fees, with her last name: “Banu.”

Banu would go on to work as a programmer at a software

firm, where her identity once again proved to be a source of discrimination amongst her peers.

After her gender reaffirming surgery, for which she took out a loan, and becoming the first transgender person to be admitted to an engineering college in Tamil Nadu, Grace discontinued her studies to dedicate her time to her giving back to the community that shaped her.

“Changes are happening,” she stresses, “fifteen years ago, the situation of the trans community was completely different. Now, there’s a little bit of change – I’m seeing that transition.”

Today, Banu has twelve adopted trans daughters. She beams as a proud mother does, listing off each of their achievements with the utmost care. Her phone has been buzzing impatiently through the course of our conversation.

Banu has been busy organizing aid for trans people in Thoothukudi independently while filing a plea seeking extension of COVID relief for transgender persons in Tamil Nadu.

When I ask her how she wants to be remembered, she questions whether she really will be: “Our histories, as Dalit people, as trans people, have always been erased.

Maybe, in the future, my history will also be erased.”

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ALL PHOTOS CREDIT: GRACE: THE DOCUMENTARY

“MY PARENTS WEREN’T [EDUCATED] – THEY DIDN’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT TRANS PERSONS, THEY THOUGHT THEY’D LOST ALL THEIR DREAMS, LIKE [THEIR] CHILDREN HAVE THIS KIND OF ‘PROBLEM’ – AND THEY PUT ME INTO AN ASYLUM”

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REIMAGINING THE QUEER DESI EXPERIENCE

Sapna Pandya advocates for those who may often be overlooked, even by their own cultural peers BRIAN SODOMA 22 | SEEMA.COM | JUNE 2021

Nurturing Childhood Curiosity Born in Washington DC and growing up in Maryland, Pandya connected with her Indian roots through dance, studying both Kathak and Bharatanatyam. Visiting India at the age of 10, she described it as “an instant long-lost love at first sight. … It helped to crystallize this idea that there’s a whole other place there with people who look like me.”

But ultimately, it was the Hinduism course that influenced her life path.

The professor challenged assumptions about Hinduism being polytheistic and instead discussed a monotheistic view, or “one truth depicted through various deities,” as Pandya described it.

“It really did a number on me and I loved it,” she said. “I ended up majoring in religion and taking a lot more courses with the professor.”

Pandya gives her family credit for being open-minded and encouraging her curiosity when it came to religion. It also helped drive her to be an advocate for immigrants, public health issues, and inclusivity for the LGBTQ community.

“I was never given that pushback or that questioning, and, looking back, I really had to marvel at that, especially because … women are often questioned, especially in conservative cultures, about what they know and their authority. But I never got that from my family. I could question and they would say ‘tell me what you learned,’” she added.

“MY WIFE DIDN’T FEEL COMFORTABLE GOING TO THE MASJID AND ASKING AN IMAM, SO WE ASKED OUR FRIENDS AND WE BASICALLY WROTE OUR OWN CEREMONY.” Honoring Her Grandfather When her grandfather, who was a priest, passed away eight years ago, Pandya chose to honor him by becoming a pandita, or marriage officiant. But she chose to focus on conducting marriage ceremonies for the gay and lesbian community.

It was something, through her own experience of planning a wedding with her Pakistani Muslim wife, where she had first-hand experience in recognizing a need.

“I didn’t even feel comfortable going to the temple to see if a priest would marry us,” she recalled., “My wife didn’t feel comfortable going to the masjid and asking an imam, so we asked our friends and we basically wrote our own ceremony.” Pandya enjoys getting to know couples before they marry. And she encourages them to create their ceremonies as unique expressions of their love for one another, and to not feel like they need to adhere to patriarchic norms.

“I try to give more of a feminist and egalitarian lens to it. All religious traditions … have patriarchy baked right in and I try to bake it right out,” she added with a laugh.

Legacy of Advocacy Pandya has decades of experience working with and creating nonprofits that advocate for minorities, immigrants, South Asians and the LGBTQ community. Her efforts have focused on testing for the HIV/AIDS population, tackling public health and poverty for disadvantaged South Asians and other minority populations,

and diligent work to shed stereotypes around “typical” South Asian families and the assumption that all are wealthy doctors and engineers.

Most recently, she has helped with fundraising and other efforts for Desi Rainbow Parents & Allies. Recalling her parents’ experience in learning how to support their LGBTQ child, she was drawn to help the program. Desi Rainbow exists to support parents and loved ones who want to learn about how to support their gay, lesbian or transgender loved one and advocate for their needs.

In 2010, Pandya also started a nonprofit, Many Languages One Voice, to serve the immigrant community in Washington DC on issues such as language justice and to foster more immigrant civic participation in the community.

Pandya took the past two years off from work to focus on raising her child, but would like to leverage her background in running nonprofits to serve others in the LGBTQ and immigrant communities again. As she charts her future, she also appreciates being recognized by the McDonald’s “We Are APA” campaign, for her journey and efforts to help others.

“It was so great to talk to the people at ‘We Are APA’ campaign because it uncovers stories that are against what is the norm and the ‘model minority’ of the Asian Pacific American communities,” she said. “I appreciate the fact that there’s a spotlight being put on folks that wouldn’t be the stereotypical stories shared in the APA community.”

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PHOTO CREDIT: MCDONALD’S FOR #WEAREAPA

S

apna Pandya was just looking for an “easy A” in college when she took a Hinduism course. But the “easy” class changed her life, and piqued a curiosity about theology and inclusivity that reshaped her career focus. Today, she is known for her efforts as a queer pandita serving the LGBTQ community, but she’s actually a far more powerful voice for all immigrants.

PHOTO CREDIT: FERTILITY CENTERS OF ILLINOIS

Dr. Asima Ahmad Helps Women

CONCEIVE OUR FUTURE

ADAM CARPENTER

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n South Asia, as many as 10% of women experience infertility. And while some of the causes and tangential issues are mostly confined to southern Asia, much of the challenge travels across international borders affecting women living in cities in the U.S., including Chicago, where Dr. Asima K. Ahmad practices infertility medicine.

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DRIVEN BY EXPERIENCE Dr. Ahmad performs her life-changing work out of Fertility Centers of Illinois offering cutting-edge solutions grounded in 21st-century medicine — but her journey began years ago — with her aunt. Dr. Ahmad’s aunt experienced multiple stillbirths and lost a newborn child but managed

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“AT TIMES, WHEN A WOMAN OR A COUPLE DOES DECIDE TO GET HELP, THEY’D RATHER DEFAULT TO HOMEOPATHIC REMEDIES INSTEAD OF SEEKING CLINICAL HELP” to have one of her children survive. Then she got pregnant again. She delivered the child at home, but experienced another stillbirth. Then she started hemorrhaging. As they scrambled to reach a hospital, the bleeding continued.

Because they were unable to locate adequate medical care, Dr. Ahmad’s aunt passed away on the way to the hospital.

For Dr. Ahmad, this was a turning point. She felt compelled to prevent other women from undergoing similar experiences. Further, Dr. Ahmad herself has polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), and although she was able to have a baby herself, PCOS can cause challenges.

This, combined with her aunt’s experience, provides extra impetus to find solutions for other women.

MEETING CULTURAL CHALLENGES In South Asia, there are strong traditions supporting women giving birth to children, particularly if they’re married.

Family is central to several South Asian cultures, so building one is almost an expectation for many women. But this can result in pressure, particularly from the would-be grandmothers and grandfathers. When a woman isn’t able to conceive — for whatever reason — there’s a tendency to avoid the topic, try to keep the issue private, to avoid or ease the pressure from others. At times, Dr. Ahmad explains, this may result in women and men hesitating to seek assistance in conceiving.

At times, when a woman or a couple does decide to get help, they’d rather default to homeopathic remedies instead of seeking clinical help. And if they do decide to accept the kind of aid provided by facilities like Fertility Centers of Illinois, they’d rather keep it quiet.

UNSPOKEN ISSUES The cultural mores of the South Asian population — both in southern Asia and throughout the diaspora — have led many couples to conceal some of the issues preventing them from conceiving. In many cases, these obstacles can

be managed or completely removed with treatment or consultation with a fertility specialist like Dr. Ahmad.

Men may experience erectile or ejaculatory dysfunction, making it difficult to impregnate their wives. Also, a couple may have a hard time conceiving because the woman feels pain during intercourse, impacting the intimacy of the marriage.

However, some issues South Asian women deal with are a result of larger, systemic problems. For example, Dr. Ahmad explains, obesity can reduce the quality of a woman’s eggs and sometimes may impact ovulation. And while obesity can, in some cases, be avoided, it’s become more and more difficult as “advanced” countries make unhealthy and processed foods more and more readily available. Trends in unhealthy food production have had a similar effect on the rates of diabetes in developed countries. Diabetic women have a higher chance of having a miscarriage, giving birth to pre-term babies or those with birth defects, as well as have a baby that’s stillborn.

Dr. Ahmad explains that the current food climate in many areas makes it more difficult for women to avoid both obesity and diabetes.

FINDING HOPE THROUGH SOLUTIONS Even though the challenges are considerable, there are several solutions, thanks to modern medicine, that make it easier to conceive or control when a couple has their baby.

FERTILITY PRESERVATION EGG FREEZING As women age, the quantity and quality of the eggs they have left decreases. Therefore, many women opt to have their eggs frozen. They can then focus on other things, such as their education, careers, or spending time with their mates, and fertilize the eggs when they’re ready to have children.

EMBRYO FREEZING A couple can also freeze embryos as a form of fertility preservation. Eggs can be fertilized by sperm then frozen until the couple is ready for a child. When the woman is ready to carry the baby, she can have the embryo transferred to her uterus and bring it to full term. As long as the freezing process is adequately executed, embryos can, technically, be frozen indefinitely with proper mechanisms in place. This gives women more freedom when it comes to deciding when they want to have their babies.

“FERTILITY: A BASIC HUMAN RIGHT” Dr. Ahmad views fertility as an unalienable right. Through her work at Fertility Centers of Illinois, she is fighting, every day, to enable women and families to enjoy this right. Inspired by the brave example of her aunt and other women, Dr. Ahmad is helping South Asian women of today conceive the future.

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A N S O

TEEN | SEEMA

G ON Jonita Gandhi, the voice behind several chart-busting numbers, shares her journey and how she has managed to sing in several languages ALL PHOTOS CREDIT: AMEY GHATGE

BINDU GOPAL RAO

“THANKFULLY I GREW UP IN A HOME WHERE HINDI AND PUNJABI WERE SPOKEN REGULARLY AND I KNOW THE DIFFERENCE A SLIGHTLY INCORRECT PRONUNCIATION CAN MAKE TO THE MEANING OF THE WORDS”

A

singer who has tracks across genres including Bollywood, Sufi, Western Classical, RnB, Pop, Soft Rock and more, Jonita Gandhi has several feathers on her crowded cap. She looks back on her eventful journey to date in this tête-à-tête.

DOWN MEMORY LANE Gandhi was born in India but raised in Canada, where her family migrated to when she was an infant. Luckily, her family recognized very early on that she was interested in the arts.

“I would sing around the house and although I was initially extremely shy about it, my parents encouraged me to explore singing more and more as I grew up,” Gandhi says. “I always kept singing as a hobby while I went to school and studied, but eventually I took it up full time and the rest is history.” She smiles. It also helped that the home atmosphere was always musical as both her parents love music, which was always playing in the house.

“My dad is a musician by hobby and has a band,” Gandhi says. “They always practiced at our house. When I was young, my dad would hear me singing and dancing

around the house and realized there was probably something there that would benefit from encouragement and lessons. I was shy initially so I would only sing from behind walls where people couldn’t see me.

My dad encouraged me to practice, and gave me opportunities to sing at events with his band … until, eventually, I started getting gigs of my own as well.”

BOLLYWOOD CALLING Her debut song in Bollywood came about when she met music composer/singer Vishal Dadlani at his studio while visiting her friend Abhishek Ghatak, a sound engineer at the VishalShekhar studio at the time.

“He [Dadlani] had heard my covers on YouTube before and he asked if I would like to try a few lines on a song they were working on at the time,” Gandhi says. “My fight-or-flight instincts kicked in because I had never been in a situation like that before. I hadn’t ever recorded a scratch for a film song before. I was thrilled when I found out that my voice was being kept on the track and the “Chennai Express” title song became my first song in Bollywood, [singing] alongside the legendary S.P. Balasubramanyam sir.”

LANGUAGE MATTERS When she first started working in India, her Canadian accent was a bit of a barrier because people would assume that she would not be able to pronounce the lyrics.

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PIONEER | SEEMA the difference a slightly incorrect pronunciation can make to the meaning of the words,” Gandhi says.

“I try to put in a lot of time and effort to get the sounds right in all the languages I currently sing in.” That is a tall order, given that she has sung in Hindi, Punjabi, Tamil, Telugu, Kannada, Marathi, Malayalam, Gujarati, Bengali, and English.

“I have performed in French, Spanish, German, and there was one time when I had to perform a song in Japanese! Whenever I’m learning a song in a language I don’t speak, I always seek help from someone who speaks the language natively to ensure my pronunciation is correct,” she says. “There have been instances where unknowingly I have mispronounced words and completely changed the meaning of sentences, but that’s all part of the learning process.” She laughs.

MUSIC MANTRA Apart from playback singing, Gandhi has several independent songs and collaborations to her credit. She was recently featured on the Times Square New York billboard for her latest collaboration with Badshah, Yuvan Shankar Raja and Uchana Amit for the song “Top Tucker,” which has been topping the charts.

“I couldn’t get it together when I found out that my name and face were on a billboard at Times Square,” Gandhi says. “It was part of a Spotify feature for the song ‘Top Tucker’ and feels like a bucket list item got checked off in a memorable way.”

Currently, Gandhi is working on a few originals for her album, she is looking forward to releasing soon.

Quiz her on what music means to her and she says, “Music to me is a lot of things. I think, above all, it is an escape. It allows me to be anyone I want, whenever I want, which is 28 | SEEMA.COM | JUNE 2021

incredibly empowering.”

The pandemic has put a damper on the music industry but Gandhi has some solutions.

“Although live concert events aren’t possible, and remote studio recordings have become more common, there are still opportunities,” she says. “Of course, it is definitely not the same feeling with remote or virtual work as it would be for live engagements, but it isn’t a bad time to be in music. Now that everyone has gone online, it has given us the opportunity to build our brands online and leverage digital engagements of various sorts.”

FUTURE PERFECT Gandhi made her debut as a judge on “Taare Zameen Par,” a music talent show for children that aired on Star Plus recently.

“Being a mentor on ‘Taare Zameen Par’ was a really enlightening experience. I learned so much while shooting for the show, not just about the experience of reality shows, but also about myself. Sitting at the mentor’s table with singer/ composer Shankar Mahadevanji and being guided through the process by him was such a blessing. The show was also a great opportunity to practice speaking in Hindi as it’s not something I do regularly. I am open to the idea of judging shows in the future.” She did not reveal specifics about what lies ahead in 2021 besides that she is excited by what lies ahead.

“My plan is to continue growing my audience by dabbling in lots more independent music, regional music, and mainstream music,” she says. “The sky’s the limit and there is always something cooking, so I urge all my followers to stay tuned.”

“MUSIC TO ME IS A LOT OF THINGS. I THINK, ABOVE ALL, IT IS AN ESCAPE. IT ALLOWS ME TO BE ANYONE I WANT, WHENEVER I WANT, WHICH IS INCREDIBLY EMPOWERING”

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COVER STORY | SEEMA

‘SUCCESS IS THE ABILITY TO MAKE PEOPLE

FEEL GOOD’

Celebrity chef Maneet Chauhan on the secret of her success SEEMA KUMAR

M

aneet Chauhan attributes her success as a chef to a simple philosophy: Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Chauhan’s latest venture — competing in The Food Network TV’s grueling Tournament of Champions II — has brought her one of her career’s biggest laurels – a much sought after championship title which she won after four rounds of head-to-head culinary battle that pitted 16 of

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the best chefs in the country in a bracket-style competition. “Winning TOC gave me a feeling that my entire life’s work had been rewarded. I felt excitement, relief, disbelief and just an array of emotions,” says Chauhan.

Best known as a regular judge on The Food Network TV’s Chopped, Chauhan is no stranger to competitions, having fought it out on Iron Chef America, The Next Iron Chef, Chopped and Tournament of Champions Season 1. But she did

PHOTO CREDIT: THE FOOD NETWORK

Maneet Chauhan competing on The Food Network Tournament of Champions JUNE 2021 | SEEMA.COM | 31

PHOTO CREDIT: THE FOOD NETWORK

COVER STORY | SEEMA

Maneet Chauhan with host Guy Fieri after winning the Tournament of Champions

“THE CHALLENGE IN THIS COMPETITION WAS MORE SO THE EXPECTATION OF PERFECTION THAT I PLACED ON MYSELF RATHER ANY EXTERNAL FACTORS”

not win these coveted titles, including the last season of TOC, where she made it to the top four but eventually lost. The stakes were even higher in this year’s competition as host and chef Guy Fiery spun a “randomizer” wheel in each round to pick the ingredients, the tools, the type of dish, and time available to cook the dishes.

“This experience was so different because there was literally no formula to cracking the code because of the randomizer,” she says.

“You had no idea where the randomizer would land, so it made it a lot more difficult.”

In the final round, Chauhan beat current champion Brooke Williamson, in a 50-minute battle to create three dishes using langoustine, fresh wasabi, and liquid nitrogen.

“The challenge in this competition was more so the expectation of perfection that I placed on myself rather any external factors”, she says. “I challenged myself to get outside of [my] comfort zone and give my best work. It is always great

“I DO THINK THAT YOU SHOULD TAKE A MOMENT TO STOP AND PAT YOURSELF ON THE BACK AND SAY, YES, YOU DID IT. YOU WORK REALLY HARD TO REACH WHERE YOU ARE. CONGRATULATE YOURSELF AND MOVE ON” when I’m nervous because I push myself harder, so I overcame it by not stopping and having faith in myself and everything I cooked.”

Chauhan says she has consistently trusted her instincts and followed her dreams, always giving her best, whether as a chef, a TV personality, or as a moving force behind many famous restaurants. She has written one cookbook, Flavors of the World, and co-authored two others. In 2012, she won the prestigious James Beard Foundation’s Broadcast Media award for her work as a judge on the The Food Network’s “Chopped.” As one of the few South Asian female chefs on mainstream TV, Chauhan says it was important to set the bar high and show the next generation that being a chef transcends religion, gender and ethnicity, and that the flavor you create can be the greatest equalizer. She proudly embraces Indian heritage and has become a style icon, bringing her signature Indian earrings and her colorful embroidered Chef’s Jackets to mainstream American television, which she displayed all through the tournament of champions, along with her sparkly kicks.

Chauhan grew up in Ranchi, India, in a small but diverse community of families from different parts of India, tasting and learning a vast array of Indian cuisine styles. She grew up enjoying food, but loving even more the instant connection it created with people.

“It’s the ultimate icebreaker,” she says: “Nourishment not only for your body, but for your soul.” She feels fortunate to have made a career our of what she loves, especially coming from a culture where parents want their children to be doctors or engineers. Fortunately for Chauhan, her parents supported her career choice, as long as it was a field in which she could excel in.

She started with an education at the Welcomgroup Graduate School of Hotel Administration, India’s top culinary and hotel management school, interned at some of India’s best kitchens, and later moving to study at the famed Culinary Institute of America, where she garnered all the awards in her class.

“When I was in India, success to me was coming to CIA,” she says.

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PHOTO CREDIT: MANEET CHAUHAN

Chauhan with her husband Vivek Deora

COVER STORY | SEEMA

PHOTO CREDIT: CHAUHAN ALE & MASALA HOUSE

PHOTO CREDIT: THE FOOD NETWORK

PHOTO CREDIT: MANEET CHAUHAN

PHOTO CREDIT: MANEET CHAUHAN

Clockwise: Chauhan arriving at Culinary Institute of America (CIA), as a young chef; as a judge on Chopped with judges Scott Conant, Marc Murphy, and host Ted Allen, and contestants; Earrings by Chauhan for her jewelry line Maneet Curated; Chauhan Ale and Masala House; Chauhan in action at Vermillion

“At CIA, it was competing on “Iron Chef.” On “Iron Chef,” it was competing on being a permanent judge on “Chopped.” As a “Chopped” judge, it was, [owning] one restaurant. Now, it’s four. To be motivated, success needs to be a constant moving target. That being said, when you achieve something, I do think that you should take a moment to stop and pat yourself on the back and say, yes, you did it. You work really hard to reach where you are. Congratulate yourself and move on.”

As for coping with the inevitable trials, Chauhan says, just put one foot in front of the other and keep going.

Today, Chauhan lives in Nashville, Tennessee, where she, along with her husband and business partner Vivek Deora, own four restaurants — all with different and unique cuisines. Chauhan Ale & Masala House, a gastro pub fusion restaurant, Tansuo, an upscale Chinese cuisine; The Mockingbird, an elevated American diner serving comfort food with a global spin; and Chaatable, a chaat house featuring Indian street food. She also owns two breweries, Mantra Artisan Ales and Steel Barrel, and an 86-acre brewery called Hop Springs in Murfreesboro that is the largest brewing facility in Nashville. She chose three Nashville restaurants – Margot Cafe & Bar, Arnold’s Country Kitchen and Mangia Nashville – and Garland in Raleigh, N.C., a restaurant run by Chauhan’s friend Cheetie Kumar from the Brown in the South series, to receive $10,000 award from each of her winning rounds.

We sat down with Chauhan recently and asked her about her journey as a South Asian woman who has taken the mainstream American food industry by storm.

Rarely have Indian chefs, leave alone an Indian woman chef, won major competitions like these.

The most important thing for me when I’m in mainstream media is representation. When I decided to be a chef I was one of the very few female Indian chefs; there was no one to follow or learn from. It was very important to set the bar high, and show younger kids that it can be done, but that it can also be done with flair. Being a chef is being a chef that transcends your work to regions, genders, and where you come from. At the end of the day, the flavor you create is the greatest equalizer.

In the male-dominated food industry, how hard was it, especially early in your career, to hold your own as a woman?

It was exceedingly difficult. There were times I was the only girl in a kitchen of around 70 men. I was around 18 at the time, and [was often asked] “You’re learning how to cook so that you can cook for your husband?”

And I would say, “No, are you learning how to cook so that you can cook for your wife?” The fact that I wanted to take this as a career was baffling to people. This is not a hobby. This is a passion. This is my career. That [experience] instilled two invaluable traits in me. First, that people will talk. Listen from one ear and let it out the other. Second, you have to be beyond resilient.

There will be naysayers throughout life. You have to cope with it, and I [do that] with humor …and a very positive outlook on life.

You chose three Nashville restaurants to receive your winnings from Tournament of Champions II. What made you select these restaurants? Why is community so important to you?

My community is so important to me because they are the people that continually support me. So, if I can give back in any small way, the community as a whole will become stronger. I wish I could’ve helped all the restaurants but these three restaurants, in particular, really impress me.

You came to the United States to study at the Culinary Institute of America? What was it like, and how easy was it to assimilate?

The restaurant [and the hospitality] industry is very difficult. You start at the bottom. You really have to be passionate [to succeed]. For me it was also difficult …coming from India. No matter how many Archie Comics [you’ve read] or [movies you have seen like] “Coming to America,” there’s always culture shock.

What helped was that at the CIA, I was under the same roof as 2,000 other people who are as passionate about food as I was, so just that connectivity was incredible.

I wish I could say that all of this happened overnight.

It’s been a journey and it has had its fair share of ups and downs and struggles. If you don’t go through the struggles, then you’re not going to achieve success.

It’s as simple as that. … There are always trials and tribulations, but you get those occasional triumphs.

What’s the significance in your mind for a South Asian woman to be crowned champion of a very competitive mainstream American show?

You started at the bottom but now you are at top at The Food Network. How did you get your first break?

What was the journey like as a woman of color?

What was the feeling like when you were crowned winner and given the belt, especially after having made it as far as the top four in the last season?

Winning TOC gave me a feeling that my entire life’s work had been rewarded. I felt excitement, relief, disbelief and just an array of emotions.

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COVER STORY | SEEMA

“ONE DAY, LOOKING AT THE KIDS I REALIZED I’M A ROLE MODEL TO THEM. IF I TELL THEM THAT IT’S OKAY TO OVERINDULGE, TO JUST LET GO AND NOT TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY, THEN I AM DOING DISSERVICE AS A PARENT” It started with being invited to compete on the original “Iron Chef,” against Chef Morimoto. I like to say, I came in a very respectable second, between two people [laughs]…

Better than saying I lost. The fun part was I got invited to compete on the “Next Iron Chef,” where they invited 10 chefs across the country. And that’s [when] the chapter started. They invited me to be a guest judge on “Chopped,” and I guess they liked my job. From then on, I’ve been a permanent judge on “Chopped.”

I’m sure it was more than just sheer luck that you landed these opportunities?

What I figured out is, you just [have to] ask [for what you want]. What’s the biggest harm in asking? The [fear] that you’re going to hear “No”? Don’t live life being afraid of hearing a no. A lot of young women hesitate to ask a simple question. And you just should not be afraid of getting the answer. What if [the answer] you get is a yes?

You moved to Nashville from New York City and opened four restaurants. That’s quite a move.

“Chopped” had taken off, and I was getting offers from all over the country. All of a sudden we got a phone call, [asking if we would] like to open a restaurant in Nashville. My husband and I [thought]. “Who goes to Nashville?” [But] we just fell in love with the city, but also the opportunity the city afforded us, because there [were no Indian] restaurants like the kind we wanted to open. In all transparency, with a three year old, the plan was to be based out of New York and to commute.

The six-month project took a year and a half. Along the way, we found out that we were expecting baby number two, who decided to show up three months early, exactly on the day we opened our first restaurant, Chauhan Ale & Masala House, in November 2014. We [thought] if [the new baby] is so adamant about being a Nashvillian, who are we to change it? So we moved everything here.

How has COVID impacted your lives? Or the bomb blast in Nashville? That must have been scary?

Nashville needs a break. It started with the tornadoes in March, and then we walked right into COVID. Then, 36 | SEEMA.COM | JUNE 2021

Chauhan with her children

Christmas morning, we heard of the bomb blast. All across the board, it’s been difficult for us, no questions about it. But we moved very fast, did not wait for things to be mandated to us, or for the governor to shut down the city.

We were two steps ahead because we knew that this was coming and helped our entire team [through it].

Personally, it was very traumatic because we’d spent five years building our team [of about] 300 people. For us to let go of them, and not knowing what to tell them [was hard]. As soon as the initial shock wore off, we were in battle mode. How do we save this? How do we put one step in front of the other? It was just constant problem-solving. Right now, I think that compared to both the coasts, we are open. It means constant training for our team, making sure they keep themselves safe, and keep the guests safe. I wish we had a magic crystal ball [and] we could figure out what tomorrow holds. But right now, our strategy is now how to make ourselves stronger. We entered 2020 [thinking] this was going to be the best year. COVID had a different thought.

What challenges do you think those in the food industry have been facing over the past year?

In the beginning of COVID there was a big lack of clientele, since then it has now shifted to a lack of labor.

You’re a successful entrepreneur, a TV personality author, and have two beautiful children. How do you balance work and home?

There’s no such thing [as balance]. Women stress so much about these boxes that they are supposed to be in. What is balance? And why is balance important? It is how you are living your life which is more important. The fact that people try so hard to balance life. You don’t have to. I am enjoying life. I got home really late [last night]. But this morning I snuggled with both the kids. We watched a movie, had chai and chiwda and doughnuts.

[Whatever] moment you are in, give your 150% to that moment. Don’t think about what happened yesterday, don’t think about what’s going to happen tomorrow.

You’re in this moment. Give your whole to this moment. Otherwise, it’s going to pass and you are going to regret the fact that you did not. Balance is a myth.

PHOTO CREDIT: DWAYNE BASS PHOTOGRAPHY

What do you make of being a South Asian American style icon? You colorful chef jackets, the dangling earrings, your social media presence?

It’s hilarious when people refer to me as a style icon,

Chauhan at a relief drive for COVID-19 free produce for hospitality workers

because I’ve always been a tomboy. Running around … in the kitchen, the last thing you think of is style. But I’m very proud of my heritage. I am from India. This is who I am. This is how I look. This is my color. This is my accent, and I’m very proud of it. I have never for a minute tried to hide that. I have had the opportunity to be on a national platform, to show off who I am. I’m not going to hide behind someone who I am not.

Given the fact that we come from such a beautiful vibrant country, where there is gorgeous, handiwork and fabrics and jewelry, it would be stupid of me not to wear them. It makes me happy. I don’t try to have a style quotient. I say, bring it on – more color.

You’ve lost weight and look fit and healthy. Tell us about your weight loss journey.

As a chef you have access to a lot of food. You go to a restaurant, order one of everything [to taste], and [indulge in] gorgeous wines and drinks. One day, looking at the kids I realized I’m a role model to them. If I tell them that it’s okay to overindulge, to just let go and not take care of your body, then I am doing disservice as a parent. I started [with] healthy moderation. Nothing… drastic. It’s 10,000 steps a day. Once I do that, then everything else is bonus.

You don’t have to be eating five jalebis. One is just fine.

When I lost all the weight, I did regiment myself, in the sense that I used an app called My Fitness Pal. I would log everything I [ate]…1,200 calories. It was just simple science. If you eat less than what you burn, you lose weight.

What does success mean to you?

I think success is definitely not a destination; it’s a journey.

[For me] to be motivated, success needs to be a constant moving target. Success also … is the ability to make people feel good. People should be excited to come and talk to you, as opposed to walk away. Success is always keeping an eye on the next step as well. And giving back. It is good for your soul. It just makes you a richer person. But it’s also selfish because it makes you feel better.

I’ve been so blessed. It is important [to] never … take any of these things for granted. You know, they are here [but] they could go tomorrow. So if you have the ability to give back, give back to causes that are dear to you and that speak to you. What’s next for me is to make sure that what we now have is healthy, thriving. There will be more opportunities ahead. What is important is to [sustain what] we’ve created.

What’s next in store for you?

At present, it is important that I make sure the foundation of our businesses is strong. But the future is what the future holds so we will see.

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ENTREPRENEUR | SEEMA

A PRACTICAL GUIDE

TO FITNESS Simrun Chopra, a mother and fitness entrepreneur, has helped thousands of women to stay fit BINDU GOPAL RAO

Simrun Chopra, founder, Nourish with Sim

W

hen I first met Simrun Chopra last year, she said she wanted fitness to be accessible for all women, irrespective of their social strata. She also mentioned that she would advise women how they could stay fit eating what they always did.

“If I prescribe diets with fancy ingredients, it is neither accessible to all nor will it motivate one to start their fitness journey,” she had then explained with a smile.

REWIND Growing up as the only child to her parents in Kolkata, Chopra went to the elite La Martiniere school. She was an active child – academically bright and all into sports. After graduating in 2001, she went to Bangalore for her bachelor’s degree in computer application, but quickly realized that coding was not her world.

“I began involving myself in sports and became part of recreational clubs,” Chopra says.

“After a terrible accident I had to stop all sports, which was quite demotivating for me as I used to make my monthly allowance through the sports clubs.”

She took up a part-time sales job at a new local bakery called Daily Bread, working after college hours from 3:30 p.m. to 9:30 p.m. It paid all her fees. “That’s where my interest in food started,” Chopra says. “I joined them full time to handle their retail and corporate division. After that, I launched a brand of gelato in India and managed retail ops and production.”

She used all her savings to do her MBA in London and worked hard to win the dean’s scholarship, given to the class topper, who then gets half her fees back. Chopra then returned to India to work at The Collective, India’s largest luxury retailer in Bangalore.

“IF I PRESCRIBE DIETS WITH FANCY INGREDIENTS, IT IS NEITHER ACCESSIBLE TO ALL NOR WILL IT MOTIVATE ONE TO START THEIR FITNESS JOURNEY”

NOURISHMENT MATTERS After marriage and being pregnant with her son, Chopra realized that something was wrong with her. She could not carry the weight of her own child and suffered from ovarian cysts and endometriosis. She realized that her regular

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ENTREPRENEUR | SEEMA

“MY PERSONAL STRUGGLE AND JOURNEY GAVE HOPE TO A LOT OF WOMEN TO GET HEALTHY AND CORRECT THEIR WEIGHT” lifestyle needs some modification and made basic changes to her daily food habits, added 30 minutes of workouts with no fancy diets, and became healthier and stronger.

Chopra then got a formal education in nutrition, diet and deep health, which helped her formulate a program for the modern Indian woman.

“My personal struggle and journey gave hope to a lot of women to get healthy and correct their weight,” she says. “My observations helped me understand that people need external support and assistance when it comes to health-related matters. The immense amount of information available confuses many, and sometimes misdirects them too. My whole objective was to offer simple and effective nutrition and workout plans that are effective and easy to adapt to. I believe Nourish with Sim stands out entirely for its balanced approach and affordable pricing.”

DIET-BUSTING Chopra advocates mindful eating as the best way to reach one’s health goals.

“Diets are short-lived and difficult to sustain,” she says. “There have been many cases where certain fad diets have resulted in grave health concerns, such as palpitations, heartburn, and even paralysis. We try to understand why the client has opted for our program. What is their background and lifestyle? And then, accordingly, we make suggestions.”

All of Chopra’s programs are designed based on the level of support the person needs. Reboot is the starting program for clients with no major illnesses and who can follow a simple plan.

Nourish is the more intensive program, with daily reporting and consulting for clients who are over a certain age and have lifestyle diseases.

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“We have also worked with clients who rely on office pantry meals or need to order in regularly,” Chopra says. “It’s just about understanding your body and working around your food choices. My programs include a diet plan and 30 minutes of workout. I also regularly update the plan based on regional and religious events such as Ramadan and Navratri, so that it fits into every Indian’s life. I also constantly share recipes that are healthy and easy to make.”

ENTREPRENEURIAL JOURNEY Chopra admits that the biggest struggle has been and still is breaking diet culture that promises quick unbelievable results with fancy names and quick fixes.

“Making people realize that there isn’t a magic solution is a task. With the advent of social media, we are used to instant gratification,” she says. “However, the human body has not evolved at the pace of our technology. Communicating and convincing people that nothing happens overnight has been a big part of the struggle.”

As a woman entrepreneur Chopra admits that she does get bogged down when she does not get something right, or get what she is aiming for.

But she has learned how to get around that.

“Aiming for perfection is the quickest route to failure,” she says. “Focusing on what is possible today is better than doing nothing and hoping to be perfect tomorrow. Aim to just do a little better each day and that is what matters.”

Chopra’s advice to women who aspire to be entrepreneurs is to continue working hard without worrying about failure.

“It’s all about consistency and perseverance,” she says. “The same qualities you need to be healthy.”

ALL PHOTO CREDITS: NOURISH WITH SIM

“FOCUSING ON WHAT IS POSSIBLE TODAY IS BETTER THAN DOING NOTHING AND HOPING TO BE PERFECT TOMORROW. AIM TO JUST DO A LITTLE BETTER EACH DAY AND THAT IS WHAT MATTERS”

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PHOTO CREDIT: TINGE

ENTREPRENEUR | SEEMA

Doing It Right – STYLISHLY 42 | SEEMA.COM | JUNE 2021

Sabrina Suhail, head creator at Tinge, a bespoke beauty cosmetics studio in Bangalore, focuses on vegan and cruelty-free makeup

N

urse, humanitarian aid worker and writer Roberta Gately once said, “Lipstick is really magical. It holds more than a waxy bit of color; it holds the promise of a brilliant smile, a brilliant day, both literally and figuratively.”

Makeup, after all, is an expression of individuality. And this is what Sabrina Suhail idoes as she blends microtrends and addresses macro-consumer needs in her custom-fit, clean makeup studio that reflects personal choices, preferences, moods and personalities.

LOOKING BACK A true Bangalore kid of the ‘80s and from a family of entrepreneurs, Suhail had a fun upbringing, spending holidays at her grandfather’s tea estate in the Nilgiris. While she graduated in chemistry, botany, zoology and psychology, she realized that her passion lay in the fine arts.

“I did a short stint in event management while still trying to find my feet in a career and realized that my artistic side needed an anchor. I joined a makeup course in 2006, and that kickstarted my career ... I was so adept at this that I could (and still can) do a smokey-eye blindfolded.

It was a decade after this that I decided to study organic chemistry to understand formulations to create makeup that was clean and good for the skin. I set up Sabrina Suhail LLP in 2018.” She launched her own brand of beauty products because she saw a huge gap in clean beauty in India, one in which quality and a the rich variety of skin tones were not getting addressed.

BINDU GOPAL RAO TINGE OF PASSION ‘Make up by Sabrina Suhail’ had been the identity of her brand for years, but Suhail wanted the brand to be distinct from her name.

“It was a conscious decision to move away from my identity as a makeup artist for features, ad films and weddings, to move into a full-fledged brand with the product at the core,” she says. “After all, the makeup brand is not about me, it is about a great 100% natural product that is suitable for the consumer. The rebranding of Tinge was planned almost a year ago.”

Tinge offers handmade, customizable makeup to address the varied Indian skin tone. It is 100% vegan and crueltyfree, and safe on the skin.

TONE TALES According to Suhail, the Indian skin tone ranges from a pale gold to golden bronze from the north of the country to the south.

“We have one of the easiest undertones to put any color and look fabulous.” she says. “While our veins reflect a green undertone and the area below our eyes has a slightly purple undertone, we have an overall yellow glow to the face. For anyone who understands makeup and colors this is a rich canvas to work with. But this is not addressed by large beauty brands. Customized makeup puts the wearer at the center of it, giving the confidence to the person by fitting individual needs … Customized makeup also gives one the freedom to express and a lot of the clients get more experimental with colors. We also do not distinguish makeup as being only for women. Even men or

users from any gender orientation have started buying foundations, concealers and even eye-make. As a makeup artist and brand, this is delightful to see. ”Being a boutique brand with limited marketing budgets and more focus on personalization, Suhail admits she has her work cut out for her. “The licenses and documentation are a very practical challenge that one faces.”

THE PERSON For Suhail, it is her mother who has been her pillar of strength right from day one. “The support she gave me every time I wanted to try my hand at something was … unconditional. If I failed at something, she would guide me with rethinking the approach and navigating through things that were not making sense … and try new things.” While Suhail describes Tinge as this is both her work and passion, she is also interested in animal welfare.

“I contribute my time to rescue and rehabilitation with some Bangalorebased organizations – and individually as well,” she says. Suhail says she finds inspiration within herself, not outside.

“Naturally, positive energies from people around me, my animals and plants, keep me grounded and looking ahead,” she says, while offering her advice to young women who want to be entrepreneurs: “There will never be a better day than today to get started. One must ignore naysayers and jump in, to navigate, make mistakes and then finally figure out things. Being true to your goal and why you started the business in the first place is a good anchor to come back to when you feel lost.”

JUNE 2021 | SEEMA.COM | 43

IN SERVICE OF HUMANITY: FEATURES | SEEMA

HOW SIKHS ARE SHOWING UP IN THE COVID WARS

Volunteers distributing food packages 44 | SEEMA.COM | JUNE 2021

PRATIKA YASHASWI

A

lmost all the great religions of India and the world teach the concept of selfless service in some form. Among other things, it offers a way of annihilating the ego, reminding oneself of the oneness of all beings, and moving closer to God. Jesus was the embodiment of kindness and compassion. The Buddha continued to serve his people long after he had attained enlightenment. Selflessness in a way is both the foundation and the pinnacle of spiritual “achievement”. Sikh lore says that the Gurus and their teachers could be found on their hands and knees fetching water, serving food, dressing the wounds of soldiers and handling devotees’ shoes.

NO TASK WAS BENEATH THEM. In India, at least, the Sikhs are almost unparalleled in their reputation for practicing readily, limitlessly selfless service, inspiring the likes of Rabindranath Tagore, who saw Guru Gobind Singh as a potential nationalist icon for India, and a bridger of caste and religious barriers at a time when the country—and the community itself— was vulnerable to it. In terms of vulnerability to communal conflict, little has improved since Tagore’s time.

The Sikh community has suffered

immensely as a minority in India right since pre-independence days, during partition and the 1984 anti-Sikh riots. UK-based international NGO Khalsa Aid, which recently made headlines for receiving a six-figure donation from JK Rowling, came under unfortunate allegations of being associated with terror outfits and National Intelligence Agency (NIA) scrutiny earlier this year. Nevertheless, it was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize.

Over the past couple of years, as India curdles under great political and natural turmoil, ordinary Sikhs have at great personal risk been present and visible at protests and crises that may or may not have involved their community: they’ve served langarsat Shaheen Bagh, Delhi riots and the Tikri Border protests with equal zeal. Now Sikhs the world over have mobilized support in heaps during the COVID-19 pandemic, which has further crippled a country already vulnerable to economic and sociopolitical distress.

“I’m very connected to my religion because of the community work itself,” says 25 yearold Ramandeep Kaur. She recalls growing up around people constantly involved in service, and also being instilled with a desire to work for the betterment of society.

Although she was living with parents who were especially vulnerable to COVID-19 due to comorbidities, she would spend hours every day of India’s long 2020 lockdown arranging transport services for migrant workers and helped hundreds of them reach JUNE 2021 | SEEMA.COM | 45

FEATURES | SEEMA

A United Sikhs volunteer gives a board game to a child (left) Volunteers prepare cooked food packages for distribution (bottom)

“THERE IS A SHABAD WHICH MEANS A RELIGIOUS SONG, WHICH I INTERPRET AS ‘WHEN I SERVE, I AM SERVING YOU, SERVING YOU, SERVING YOU’” Mejindarpal Kaur, International Legal Director of UNITED SIKHS

46 | SEEMA.COM | JUNE 2021

Volunteers organize relief material for Covid-affected families

Volunteers take stock of materials for a COVID-19 relief drive

home. She and her team of three friends gained some media attention, and their work was amplified by actor Sonu Sood. This helped them raise funds to also distribute food and other forms of support. This year, after her father suffered some heart problems, she realized she could not continue to put her family at risk, and works from home instead.

Gurdwaras are becoming essential partners in the Covid fight, and Sikhs have been pitching in at both individual and community levels. They have been importing oxygen concentrators from the US to Delhi, Punjab and Karnataka; distributing food rations and organizing free hearse services.

“There is a shabad which means a religious song, which I interpret as ‘When I serve, I am serving you, serving you, serving you,’” says Mejindarpal Kaur, International Legal Director of UNITED SIKHS, who has been serving at the panthic level since 2002.

“So you’re not serving a person who needs oxygen because of COVID breathlessness—you’re serving the Master who has instructed you to serve this person.

Who are we to say that we feed the hungry? We ourselves are being fed by the Master.” And this is the essential realization of Sikh seva at any level.

Kaur, who is currently in Malaysia, has been part of a frenzied search for oxygen concentrators and is in the process of helping set up Covid relief centres in India that she hopes will act as a bridge and take the pressure off hospitals. She feels that this pandemic is no less than a major world war. “When a person goes to war as a soldier he knows he might be receiving a bullet. And I don’t know whether that’s worse.

Or if a COVID relief volunteer on the ground is in a worse position. But they go in fearlessly like the soldier does. People who do the fundraising, buying concentrators, maybe working hard through the night locating concentrators across time zones are doing important work. But the courage to go into the field is a gift. And we all must pray for them. That is a gift given to them because they’re special, and it’s important that their family recognize it and that they recognize it.”

ALL PHOTOS CREDIT: UNITED SIKHS

“WHEN A PERSON GOES TO WAR AS A SOLDIER HE KNOWS HE MIGHT BE RECEIVING A BULLET. AND I DON’T KNOW WHETHER THAT’S WORSE. OR IF A COVID RELIEF VOLUNTEER ON THE GROUND IS IN A WORSE POSITION”

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FEATURES | SEEMA

FRONTLINE Fathers Doctor dads describe the ordeal of keeping their kids safe during a pandemic – perhaps even from themselves HEENA KAUSAR

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t the peak of the Covid-19 pandemic, Doctor Bilal Khan called his best friend, gave him details of his bank accounts, and explained to him what needs to be done in case he catches the virus and dies.

Khan is a specialist in pulmonary critical care and practices at Livingston in St. Barnabas Medical Center in New Jersey.

He and his wife, a nephrologist, found out that they were pregnant with a second child in January 2020.

48 | SEEMA.COM | JUNE 2021

“I SAW HIM FROM OUTSIDE OF THE WINDOW AND WE WERE TOUCHING HANDS THROUGH THE WINDOW. IT WAS LIKE A REALLY SAD SCENE OUT OF A MOVIE”

DR . BI L A L K H A N, Specialist in P ulmonar y Critic al C are “I gave him security codes for all of my bank accounts,” Khan said. This allowed Khan to focus at work and take care of other people’s families, he said. As a pulmonary care specialist, he regularly saw Covid-19 patients from the beginning of the pandemic.

“We were the main physicians taking care of the patients on the ventilators,” he said. In the very beginning of the pandemic, his wife and son moved to Queens to live with her parents.

He would visit his family sometimes but only to see them from outside. He especially remembers one such

meeting with his son. He kept his hand on the window outside and his son kept his hand on the window from inside.

“I saw him from outside of the window and we were touching hands through the window. It was like a really sad scene out of a movie,” he said.

His daughter was born in August after which his family moved back with him. He continues to follow strict rules while entering his home.

“Before I left the hospital, I would change my clothes and clean my phone,” he said. Once home, he would change again in the garage, take a shower and “then I would go out and see my children.”

Ensuring the safety of their family has been a tough challenge for healthcare workers, who have been on the frontline of dealing with a global pandemic that has so far killed over 580,000 people in America.

Becoming a father has changed Doctor Shivam Shah’s perspective on life. He said he is now far more careful than what he was earlier. Shah, an interventional radiologist with Main Line Health, had his first child in September.

“I’m a little bit more scared now than I was before, because now I know that I’m going home to someone who I can impact,” he said.

Shah and his wife, who is also a doctor, live with their new born son in Philadelphia. After his son was born, there were weeks when he wouldn’t see his son and wife despite being in the same house. Whenever he saw a patient that potentially exposed him to Covid-19, Shah would sleep in a different room for four to five days.

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FEATURES | SEEMA

DR . SH I VA M SH A H, Inter ventional Radiolog ist

“IF I SAW A COVID-19 PATIENT, I WOULDN’T SEE THE BABY FOR FOUR OR FIVE DAYS. JUST TO MAKE SURE THAT I DON’T HAVE ANY SYMPTOMS OF THE VIRUS”

“If I saw a COVID-19 patient, I wouldn’t see the baby for four or five days. Just to make sure that I don’t have any symptoms of the virus,” Shah said.

“There is no running away from going to the hospital.

But at least if I know that I was exposed to any patients, then I would keep myself away.”

Most of Shah’s family has still hasn’t met his son and have only seen him on FaceTime and video calls.

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When Shahs found out in December 2019 that they were pregnant then they planned a big baby shower.

But then the pandemic hit, “Then we basically did not do anything,” Shah said.

Doctor Ashvin Mathew, an interventional cardiologist and his wife, a field nurse practitioner in pediatrics, always wanted to have three kids. So, when they found out that they were pregnant for the third time in January, they were elated. But this period was also marked with uncertainty, and fears over the safety of their kids.

Mathew lived in constant fear of getting the virus back home to his family. “Obviously, as a parent, you don’t want to be the reason your kids get sick.

You don’t want them to get sick period. But you don’t want to be the reason that they get sick,” he said.

One of the most challenging things while taking

care of the kids during the pandemic, was to make them understand that they won’t be able to see their grandparents for sometime, said Mathew. “We tried to make it a point to FaceTime with them every day for a few hours and spend time with them that way, but because they were not seeing their grandparents, that was the hardest, hardest challenge,” he said.

For Mathew, who works at Temple University in Philadelphia, the biggest learning from the pandemic has been to cherish every moment he has with his kids.

“That was a constant fear. What if I started feeling sick at work and don’t come home, and don’t get to see my kids,” he said. “So the biggest lesson for me was to just cherish every moment you have with

“THAT WAS A CONSTANT FEAR. WHAT IF I STARTED FEELING SICK AT WORK AND DON’T COME HOME, AND DON’T GET TO SEE MY KIDS”

DR . ASH V I N M AT H EW, Inter ventional C ardiolog ist JUNE 2021 | SEEMA.COM | 51

FEATURES | SEEMA

SEEMA FATHER’S DAY GIFT GUIDE

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mong many other things, June is the signifier of Father’s Day! You celebrated your mother for birthing and caring for you in May; now’s the time to celebrate the other person who raised you and gave you the stability you needed to become a healthy, functioning human being.

But the question remains: how do you do that? The easiest solution, besides a show of affection, is a present. Finding the right balance between meaningful and utilitarian just gets harder and harder these days, however, especially given the sheer variety that’s available on any online marketplace.

Don’t worry, though, we’ve got you covered.

The editors here at SEEMA have brainstormed and come up with some of our favorite recommendations for gifts your father would love to get. And if you’re a father reading this, and your kid doesn’t show up with something, who’s stopping you from buying one of these fun and useful knick-knacks for yourself?

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A NICE SHERRY OAK If your dad’s the kind who likes to spend a relaxing evening with a good drink, this Scottish scotch whisky is a great pick.

You can usually enjoy notes of vanilla, dried fruit, and spice on the porch with snacks and some stories to tell. Vendors like Drizly, or your local breweries, stock some of the best malts.

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Here are some of the SEEMA Editors’ favorite picks for gifting options this Father’s Day

1

LITE KITES FOR ADULTS This recommendation comes straight from our editorin-chief, who says, “for the outdoorsy dad who wants to enjoy the freedom post vaccination, feel the fresh air and wind on his face — and experience the nostalgia of days as a kid himself, get him this kite so he can play with his son/ daughter on Father’s Day outdoors.” Check out some of your local craft vendors or Amazon for some good options.

3

A SHAVE TRAVEL KIT Most dads appreciate a good close shave (no shame if you don’t), so a reliable shaving kit that you can keep in your backpack is a must-have.

Blade? Shave gel? A handy travel bag? All check and ready! You can find some of the best choices on Harry’s, Manscaped, or all over the internet.

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A HOME PUTTING GREEN If your dad’s idea of fitness is on the greens, then you should definitely go for a pandemic-proof home golfing mat. Plus, there’s none of the sands or lakes that he can drive his balls into, so it’s a win-win for the player and the golf clubs.

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A FITNESS WATCH Does your dad enjoy keeping fit and staying ripped? Then what better companion to have than a fitness watch, the smartwatch that’ll track your calorie burn, keep the playlist going, and still look good on your wrist, like a Fitbit. But speaking of...

A BACKYARD GRILL Luckily, Father’s Day comes around the perfect time to enjoy the great outdoors, so sweep up the backyard and break out the grills. Weber and Grommet, for example, have some reliable options for all kinds of barbecues, whether it’s meat, corn, or maybe just for show.

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PHOTO CREDIT: UNCOMMON GOODS

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MESH GRILL BAGS Barbecues are fun, but what of those who can’t help but see their juicy vegetables and kabobs fall to the bottom of the barbecue, singed and beyond reach? These grill bags can help, easy to zip up your food into and keep intact so they’re cooked and ready to eat! A company like Uncommon Goods would be a good place to find one.

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AN IPHONE-OPERATED PAPER PLANE And we’re back in the outside world with another product that’ll make your dad feels like he rules the skies. Pick up one of these big model planes and allow him to assume some control, maybe even relive his paper plane-throwing days. Amazon would be your best friend, with some options in the $60-$70 range.

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A FANCY KURTA Maybe what Dad needs is a slight wardrobe upgrade. You could get him some silver cufflinks, or some handcrafted footwear. But nothing beats a good kurta, block printed, handmade, great for days like these.

Check out a place like Jaypore for some of the most stylish picks.

PHOTO CREDIT: JAYPORE

FEATURES | SEEMA

PHONE-SANITIZING BOXES If you’re an oft-travelling dad (or an oft-travelling anybody), one of these handy-dandy sanitizer boxes are optimal for your travel bags. Through the power of UV, you can completely sanitize your phone, your watch, earpods, any tiny object of your choice, which is good especially in the times of COVID-19.

Maison de Papillon’s Spring/ Summer catalog consists of sustainably sourced textural variations from around the world. Heavily inspired by the surrealism era’s lush landscapes.

With a continued focus to be driven by redefining the modern woman’s day-to-night wardrobe each garment is designed to be timeless without sacrificing ease nor versatility.

Elevated, sustainable luxury has now become a reality. Join us in reimagining the future of fashion.

www.maisondepapillon.com

FILMS | SEEMA

South Asian Pop Culture’s

MOST ICONIC GIRL DADS Saluting the many fictional men who were there for their daughters AHAD SANWARI

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PHOTO CREDIT: ALAMY

A still from “Never Have I Ever”

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hroughout time, space, and every earthly realm, fathers have been integral parts of our experience with pop culture. Every story that has been told with a father figure involved has relied on him being the pillar of strength that holds the family together. He could be the loud and angry type who just wants what’s best for his kid even though he can’t show it, or the fun-loving, cool one who’s just as much a part of his child’s life as he could be.

Whatever the variant of a father, they come in all forms and avatars.

South Asian culture, in general, prides itself on family values and being able to appreciate our elders, especially parental figures. This Father’s Day should be no different.

This is a chance to honor the man

in our lives who gives it the stability we oh so desperately need in trying times (like all of 2020). So, to celebrate the values he embodies, we at SEEMA are taking a look at some of the most iconic girl dads from South Asian pop culture, the ones who stood by their daughters and constantly made them aware that they would always be there. Don’t you just love an emotional moment?

Mohan Vishwakumar from “Never Have I Ever” (2020) Sendhil Ramamurthy’s character from the runaway hit Netflix series is different from most others on this list – because he dies before the series even begins. Devi Vishwakumar’s father, Mohan, has a medical emergency and passes away just as she enters high school.

Stunned into partial paralysis,

Devi spends the remainder of the show comparing her no-nonsense mother to her easygoing father.

Even in death, Mohan manages to be one of the central characters driving the story, impacting the lives of several characters with his zest for life and gung-ho attitude about living in America. His memories are responsible for some of the more hilarious (Devi getting attacked by a coyote) and heartwarming (the spreading of his ashes to U2’s “Beautiful Day”) instances in the series. We’re desperately hoping that memory of him continues to remain well into the show’s upcoming second season.

Jai Prakash Paswan/Lakshmi Godbole from “Chachi 420” (1997) Kamal Haasan chose to turn this Hindi adaptation of a Tamil JUNE 2021 | SEEMA.COM | 57

PHOTO CREDIT: RAAJ KAMAL FILMS INTERNATIONAL

FILMS | SEEMA

A still from “Chachi 420”

adaptation of “Mrs Doubtfire” into a zany, screwball comedy that works in all of the right ways. This classic tells the story of a down-on-his-luck film industry man who loses custody over his young daughter in a divorce case. The only way he’s able to see her is by dressing up as an older Marathi woman and pretending to be her nanny.

The heart that Haasan brings to the character makes him (or her?) an endearing one, ready to face any issue that plagues his daughter and anyone else in the family head on.

Besides, the film is a real treasure trove of one liners and hilarious moments that stand the test of time. It’s hard to compare anything to the genius that Robin Williams first birthed on screen in 1993, but this comes as close as it can in the books of many ‘90s kids.

PHOTO CREDIT: LILLY SINGH ON YOUTUBE

Manjeet Singh aka Lilly Singh This particular entry teeters on the line between “real” and “fictional,” but it does fit the bill of an iconic girl dad. YouTube and late night sensation Lilly Singh’s internet content is more

A still from “Manjeet Singh”

58 | SEEMA.COM | JUNE 2021

than just about creating a space for music and comedy, it’s also about commenting on her upbringing as a Canadian-Indian woman. And what better way to do that than dressing up as and imitating your parents. While her impersonation of her tightlywound salwar kameez-clad mother is pretty fiery, it’s her rendition of her father that really hits the spot.

Complete with artificial chest hair and stubble, a constant polo shirt, and a tagline like “Manjeet Singh.

Chandigarh. Sector 17,” there’s no way Singh’s character isn’t bound to be instantly iconic. Known for being lazy and goofy, down for anything yet strict when the need arises, Manjeet Singh has been entertaining Lilly Singh’s diverse array of fans for years now, and teaching them a little bit about what fun Indian parents can be like.

Mahavir Singh Phogat from “Dangal” (2016) Aamir Khan’s transformation for the role of the real life Mahavir Singh Phogat won him immense acclaim.

He played a father who wanted to carry on his legacy of being a champion fighter through his two daughters, not pausing at any point to let them go astray or give up on their (his) goals. While he seems like an authoritarian and cold figure at first, as you continue with the film, you realize how much he cares for his daughters and wants them to have futures they can control. He doesn’t care about having them conform to traditional notions of femininity, instead embracing their potential and driving them towards realizing it. The combination of flawed but sympathetic characters that abound throughout this movie, from Khan to his on-screen daughters, gave the film the emotional heft that made it a resounding success. Especially overseas, it became one of the highest-

PHOTO CREDIT: ALAMY

A still from “Dangal”

grossing non-English films of all time worldwide.

PHOTO CREDIT: JUNGLEE PICTURES AND EXCEL ENTERTAINMENT

Kamal Mehra from “Dil Dhadakne Do” (2016) This is one of the more complex choices for this list. Anil Kapoor’s Mehra starts out in the film as a bit of a male chauvinist, unwilling to allow his son to live his dream and especially reticent to recognize the success of his daughter. He spends a good majority of the film excusing the faults in his daughter’s marriage, rationalizing it by saying that since she belongs to someone

else’s family, she’s not his responsibility, and that these things happen. However, as issues escalate and secrets unravel, he proves himself to be a capable and loving father, standing up to his daughter’s in-laws’ abuse, and finally acknowledging her acumen and intelligence, especially as a capable successor for him. Kamal Mehra is a character that gives himself the room to grow in the film.

He is a stoic figure to start with, but goes on to prove that he can change with the times and accept his daughter for who she is and wants to be.

A still from “Dil Dhadakne Do” JUNE 2021 | SEEMA.COM | 59

FULL OF

BEANS e

e adv

ntiqu An a

Antique coffee storage cans

An exhibit at

ent rtisem

ffee

for co

the museum

The Dubai’s Coffee Museum is redolent of a time a cup of joe was manna indeed TEXT AND PHOTOS BY BINDU GOPAL RAO 60 | SEEMA.COM | JUNE 2021

TRAVEL | SEEMA

I

t was a rainy afternoon when I arrived at the historical neighborhood of Al Fahidi in Bur Dubai.

The entire area has cobbled stone flooring and is home to several interesting spaces, art centers and a few museums. It has an old-world charm that I was exploring, when the fragrance of coffee wafted my way, getting me to knock on the doors of the Dubai Coffee Museum.

LOOKING BACK Located in a modest building, the museum is small but encapsulates the journey of the coffee beans. The history of coffee is as fascinating as the drink itself. It is believed to have started in the Ethiopian highlands many hundreds of years ago. According to the legend of Kaldi (an Ethiopian goatherd), coffee was discovered that when his goat ate some strange berries, they remained alert through the night. Worshipers in the local monastery used a drink made with the berries to keep them awake through long nights of prayer.

The wondrous drink reached the Arabian peninsula where the Arabs took coffee around the world.

Coffee is now grown all over the world – from the islands of the Caribbean and the Pacific, through the continents of Asia, Africa and South America. But they all can trace their heritage to the ancient coffee plants on an Ethiopian plateau.

COFFEE TALES In the museum, I was instantly transported into a land of all things coffee. After paying the entrance fees, I wound my way through this historic Emirati home, seeing the exhibits, all housed in separate rooms.

The ground level of the house has several small rooms detailing various aspects of coffee. One was dedicated to coffee cultures, another to equipment like grinders, pots and roasters, and yet another to Ethiopian coffee-making techniques. Various roasting and brewing styles from various countries are demonstrated live in the space. There are also antiques on display, such as the ‘jebenam,’ jugshaped clay coffee pots said to be over 300 years old. Apart from vintage memorabilia, you can also see an replication of how coffee was served and consumed in the past. One room, named Coffee Origins, displays a variety of coffee beans. Another houses Middle Eastern coffee antiques.

Of course, you can also learn about the different kind of coffee available, including Arabian, Egyptian, and Ethiopian.

CAFFEINE FIX Along the stairway to the next level, I stopped to admire a series of wall frames housing vintage coffee advertisements.

The upper floor has a literature room that displays coffeerelated texts, from the eighteenth century to the present.

Dubai Coffee

Museum

Pay special attention to Johann Friedrich von Pfeiffer’s 1784 encyclopedia, believed to be the oldest printed text to discuss coffee in detail. This section also has a wide selection of coffee books to read and coffee documentaries to watch.

Large information boards explain differences between Arabica and Robusta coffee. You can also buy a snack and, yes, a cup of coffee at – where else – the coffee lounge. The ticket also includes a coffee. You can choose a Turkish or Emirati one to get your caffeine fix.

Do keep an hour aside for this museum, given that it chronicles the journey of the bean to the cup, one that must be appreciated at leisure. Stop at the museum shop for some coffee souvenirs.

I recommend the unique artworks created using coffee for being both unique and artsy. There are also traditional coffee pots and New Age coffee filters available at the museum. It helps you remember that a lot goes into making the cup that cheers you every morning. If that is in doubt, if you visit Dubai, do do check it out.

FACT FILE • Timings: Saturday to Thursday, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

• Address: Villa 44, Al Fahidi Historical Neighborhood, Bur Dubai • Call: + 971 4 353 8777 • Email: info@coffeemuseum.ae • Web: www.coffeemuseum.ae MAY 2021 | SEEMA.COM | 61

TRAVEL | SEEMA

BARREN SPLENDOR

in the Himalayas

Spiti range of mountains and a golden sunset glow 62 | SEEMA.COM | JUNE 2021

Spiti is an enchanted land that is soaked in mystery, steeped in silence, and saturated with color TEXT AND PHOTOS BY SUGATO MUKHERJEE

T

he landscape changed dramatically as we crossed Rohtang Pass and entered the rain shadow zone of Lahaul and Spiti. This was not the conventionally alpine Himalayan highlands but a stark landscape devoid of vegetation, with a raw, uncluttered beauty. Blissfully quiet, it was also a welcome relief from the din and traffic on the other side of the Rohtang Pass, where at 12,500 feet we had a traffic jam with loads of day tourists from Manali.

The azure sky was crystal clear with corrugated ridges of mountains reaching high into the endless blue. As our spunky Innova negotiated the hairpin bends and started the ascent after the small town of Gramphu, we were astounded by the proximity of the glaciers and snow peaks around us. The old, blackish glacial slopes with gray moraines tumbled down in a frozen grace from the almost vertical rockfaces to the bank of the Chandra river gurgling its way on our left.

Just before crossing Kunzum Pass, the highest motorable pass of Himachal Pradesh, we fortified ourselves with piping hot noodle soup and mugs of black tea. We were well over 14,000 ft and the fluid intake was necessary to combat high-altitude sickness.

Once we crossed Kunzum Pass, a vast field of ice with only some prayer flags to mark the road, the landscape

JUNE 2021 | SEEMA.COM | 63

A cluster of poplar in their autumnal glow with Key monastery in the background

Morning prayers, Tabo monastery

turned surreal. The mountains were now multihued, ranging from a mottled green to yellowish copper, with occasional patches of violet and deep brown. There were subtle shifts in color as the afternoon sun glinted off the rugged contours of the barren cliffs. The interplay of light and shade was intensified by chunks of clouds scudding across a cobalt blue sky.

The first autumnal glow met our eyes at the small hamlet of Lossar.

A grove of poplars, resplendent in yellow-orange leaves, was in stark 64 | SEEMA.COM | JUNE 2021

contrast to the primal ruggedness around. In the mellow light, the yellow-orange trees emanated a magical glow. Sanjeev, our driver, said, “You are lucky. At this time of the year, in late September, Spiti’s autumn colors come at their fullest.”

Kaza, the district headquarters, was a couple of hours drive away from Lossar. It looked like a picturesque town in the fading evening light but the morning after, we saw it from a different perspective. There were incongruous concrete buildings

Perched atop a hill at 12,500 feet, Dhankar monastery dates back a thousand years

TRAVEL | SEEMA sprouting everywhere, out of sync with the vernacular architecture.

Trying to cater to the growing influx of tourists, Kaza seemed to be losing its identity. However, a few miles out of town and the blissful solitude was back. Just five miles out of Kaza, the honeycomb structure of the 12thcentury Kee monastery, perched atop a hillock and overlooking the meandering Spiti river, was a breathtaking sight. From the rooftop the view was of an endless vista of schist, twisted and crinkled in myriad shapes, amid a deafening silence, punctuated only by the snapping of the prayer flags in the strong breeze.

Our next pit stop was Kibber, a small settlement with a cluster of whitewashed houses that has the distinction of being the highest motorable village in the world. We left Kaza early next morning and followed the Spiti river downstream for about 18 miles to reach Dhankar, the ancient capital of the kingdom of Spiti. We arrived in the main hall of the Dhankar monastery at prayer hour. It was a plunge into a Technicolor past: monks in long, crimson robes chanting Buddhist prayers beneath vibrant yellow hangings. A wizened, old monk took us into the chapel, thick with the smell of centuries of melted yak butter, and where shafts of sunlight streamed in through skylights, picking out dusty thangkas. Ancient murals revealed a whole cosmology of Buddhas and demons and spirits.

Down the dimly lit corridors, we went to the monastery kitchen, where we were greeted with hot butter tea, the staple drink in this part of the world.

As we stepped outside the millennium old monastery, we found that Dhankar is a geological wonder, with natural rock pillars abounding the landscape, a clear testimony of millions of years of wind erosion. Nestled in this ruggedness, the old, ruined citadel of Dhankar stood on a spur projecting into the

main valley and which ending in a precipice. Lingshed, the young monk of Dhankar monastery who was showing us around, told us “the strategic location of the fort allowed the kings of Spiti to keep a vigil on the invaders, who often came marauding down the Tibetan plateau.”

We stayed the night at Tabo, a small town on the Kaza-Kinnaur highway, about an hour’s drive from Dhankar. The medieval monastery with its magnificent murals that have earned Tabo the sobriquet ‘Himalayan Ajanta,’ after the famed caves in Maharastra, mesmerized us with the exquisite paintings and stucco images that adorn its walls.

In the Tabo monastery guesthouse we met Frank, a German doctor, who now spends four months each year in Spiti valley, working among the locals for sustainable development in this fragile ecosystem. On his advice, we took the hike to Lari, a small village three miles from Tabo.

A post-harvest local festival was on and the villagers warmly welcomed us with rounds of butter tea and snacks.

Homebrewed barley wine flowed freely and the spirit of bonhomie was palpable.

A Chaam dance was scheduled in the afternoon in the Tabo monastery.

As the Tibetan wind instruments filled the thin mountain air with an ancient rhythm, the monastery’s cobbled courtyard came alive. A trio of masked monks raised their feet up and down in a slow, colorful set of meditative movements, representing scenes from the life of Padmasambhava, the eighthcentury saint who introduced Tantric Buddhism to Tibet. After immersing ourselves for a couple of hours into this visual extravaganza, it was time to leave. I looked up and into the vast openness that lay beyond the monastery compound. Darkness was gently descending upon the valley. I made a silent vow to return to this enchanted land – soon.

JUNE 2021 | SEEMA.COM | 65

BOOKS | SEEMA

A CISHET WOMAN’S GUIDE TO

Desi Queer Lives PRATIKA YASHASWI

O

k, let’s get one thing straight (pardon the pun): you could read all the books, journals and scholarly papers available in the world on queer lives in South Asia and still come away with only a sliver, not even a slice of a queer individual’s life. Even lovers can’t claim to understand one another fully. But one should not set foot in a conversation without lived experience. Where lived experience is lacking, one can pick up a book like “Mohanaswamy” and walk for a while in the shoes of a heartbroken gay man cringing under the gaze of a society he longs to fit into.

It is no longer acceptable to hold the view that members of the LGBTQ+ community must conform to heteronormative ideas of family, beauty, gender, and more. It is in fact an act of violence not to be true to oneself and the responsibility lies as much, if not more, with cis-gendered, heterosexual individuals to widen the asphyxiating strictures of a centuries old society, and make the world a safer, more welcoming space for the LGBTQ+ community. But why read about communities that lie on the margins? Why adventure in reading at all? Well, simply because we’re not that different. If you are a woman, or have ever been a child, you have struggled to be seen. If you have ever felt repressed or alone or struggled to find yourself in strife, there are few communities that know more about true courage, honesty and fighting ten battles at once. There is so much to learn from the margins, whose survival depends on fighting the good fight.

And more importantly, if we are to make the world a safer space for queer communities, we have to let them enter our hearts and fiction is a time-tested route to greater empathy.

So we at SEEMA have put together a collection of writings (mostly fiction and memoir) from LGBTQ South Asia, for the average reader to dip their toes and allies to broaden their vision and understanding of queer communities.

66 | SEEMA.COM | JUNE 2021

“TRYING TO GROW” — FIRDAUS KANGA It is never, ever going to be understandable or even fair, that although a novel like Trying to Grow came out in the 1990s, conversations around sexuality and disability still lack nuance three decades on. The sex lives of the disabled are all but ignored in conversations of sexuality.

The semi-autobiographical tale of a young boy called Brit, in a family full of anglophiles, with brittle bones and plenty of intelligence, mischeivousness and chutzpah is a narrative that was way ahead of its times. Kanga is one of a kind, perhaps the first, to explore sexuality and disability with as much tenderness and beauty as it was done in his debut novel. The book was later turned into a film Sixth Happiness in which Kanga himself starred.

“FEMME IN PUBLIC” — ALOK VAID-MENON If you want to read a recent work by Texasraised transfeminine wonder Alok VaidMenon, you should read “Beyond the Gender Binary,” which helps us truly see, experience, and understand the vastness of gender and sexuality in full colour. But the true magic of their genius with words possibly comes through best in their 2017 poetry chapbook, “Femme In Public.” Vaid-Menon are artist, poet, performer, writer and more but resist any and every form of classification. True fluidity. They have a delightful way with words, they swim on the page and the only way to consume the literature is to absorb it. Scarce is the reader who would close the book without being fundamentally changed.

“SECRET WRITINGS OF HOSHANG MERCHANT” — HOSHANG MERCHANT Hoshang Merchant, an illustrious, well-educated Zoroastrian man, edited “Yaraana: Gay Writing from India” in 1999, possibly as the first openly queer writer in India. And after cracking open the door for other queer literature, he went on to produce prolifically and provocatively. As an example: the blurb to his 2009 book, “Forbidden Sex, Forbidden Texts: New India’s Gay Poets” reads: “….there are as many reasons for being gay as there are gays.

Some people are born gay, some have gayness thrust upon them, and some do, indeed, achieve to great gayness.“ There’s a playfulness to Merchant’s way with words and vibrant outlook on life. What better way to enter the world of desi LGBTQ lit than through his book, “Secret Writings of Hoshang Merchant”?

“MARRIAGE OF A THOUSAND LIES” — SJ SINDU Sometimes families are so embarrassed by the genders, identities, and sexualities of their children that they insist upon lavender marriages: where marital unions are solemnized to cover up the partners’ stigmatized sexualities. In Sri Lankan novelist SJ Sindu’s “Marriage of a Thousand Lies,” such a union takes place between Lucky and her husband, Krishna, who are both from conservative Sri Lankan-American families. They present the illusion of marital bliss, while each dates on the side. When Lucky has to make a trip back to Sri Lanka, she runs into her first love. And the rest is fine storytelling covering swathes of territory: race, love, loss and of course, the idiosyncrasies of brown families.

JUNE 2021 | SEEMA.COM | 67

“LIHAAF” — ISMAT CHUGHTAI It is hard to find a list of queer brown literature that doesn’t mention “Lihaaf”: perhaps not the first, but the most controversial short story told during its time. Till date, the tale of a frustrated marriage between a begum and her much older husband, a nawab, told through the perspective of a child, remains one of Chughtai’s most enduring work.

It has been the inspiration, if not the basis of several films. However there are only the subtlest allusions to gay and lesbian relationships but bold references to sex, which was bad enough for conservative pre-partition society. The storytelling is as masterful as one can expect from Chughtai but the tale does not read well in today’s day and age because of its portrayal of a child narrator who might or might not be considered to be sexually abused in some way. Read it and make your own conclusions, or try Tedhi Lakeer, an expansive, powerful story of women finding themselves in the era of the purdah.

“THE TRUTH ABOUT ME” — REVATHI Somehow it’s easier for heteronormative individuals to digest the idea of a man who loves men or a woman who loves women but most unfortunately and unfairly, by and large, people who are not understood are not treated well in South Asian society. To be a transgendered woman occupying space in a world as elitist as Indian Writing in English, is a profoundly important step forward in taking the conversation ahead, to a more empathetic, and vulnerably honest place. The most powerfully cathartic forms of storytelling is confessional. The truth is, too, a story, and A. Revathi tells the powerful story about her life as a hijra or eunuch in Tamil Nadu, fighting ridicule, persecution and violence both within her home and outside to find a life of dignity and finally, love.

“WE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN HERE” — SAMRA HABIB Ahmadiyya, queer, refugee, woman. What challenges could the Lord if there is one, spare a woman like Samra Habib, who, according to the book jacket, braved bullies, racism, the threat of poverty, and an arranged marriage in Canada. Intended as “…a rallying cry for anyone who has ever felt out of place and a testament to the power of fearlessly inhabiting one’s truest self,” “We Have Always Been Here” promises to be a nourishing, soulful read. Every woman has endured the challenges of being trapped in the vice-like grip of patriarchy, upheld by men and some women, both.

Samra Habib’s novel is about one woman finding herself, fighting and surviving sometimes unspeakable cruelty.

And who knows, following along with her “adventures,” you might find yourself too.

BOOKS | SEEMA

ANY ROUNDUP OF LITERATURE FROM THE LGBTQ COMMUNITY IN SOUTH ASIA WOULD BE INCOMPLETE WITHOUT COVERING ITS REGIONAL PATHBREAKERS. HERE ARE A FEW GEMS FROM AROUND SOUTH ASIA THAT LIE FAR AWAY FROM THE METROPOLISES:

“THE CARPET WEAVER” — NEMAT SADAT Spanning several decades and a few countries, Nemat Sadat’s novel is sweeping. Beginning in Afghanistan and reaching the United States with a pit stop in a Pakistani internment camp, the hero in “The Carpet Weaver” is Kanishka Nurzada, who falls in love at sixteen in a country where the punishment for being homosexual is death. He journeys across continents in the hope of finding love, and possibly being reunited with his first lover and friend, Maihan. But, as with any story, true or made up, fate has different plans. And in “The Carpet Weaver,” there is plenty of pain, pleasure, fantastic storytelling and of course, goosebumps. This tale is masterfully told by novelist, journalist, and activist Nemat Sadat, who is also one of the first Afghans to come out openly as gay.

1. “Chocolate” (1924) by Ugra/Pandey Bechan Sharma — Hindi/Urdu Arguably the first of its kind in modern India, a daring short story written in Hindustani, an amalgam of Hindi and Urdu.

4. “Chandana Marangal” / “Sandal Trees” (1988) by Kamala Das – Malayalam The queen of the confessional tells a breathtaking tale of lovers prised apart by class and hetero-norms.

2. “Prateeksha” / “Waiting” (1962) by Rajendra Yadav — Hindi A short lesbian love story by one of India’s finest writers in Hindi.

5. Untitled story (1968) by Bhupen Khakhar – Gujarati Bhupen Khakhar was a pathbreaking, world-famous artist, and in Untitled Story – a tale of adultery and samesex love – you can tell.

3. “Mitrachi Goshta” / “A Friend’s Story” (1980s)

by Vijay Tendulkar — Marathi One of Maharashtra’s finest playwrights tells of a gorgeous love triangle between, well, friends in preIndependence Pune

6. “Punarapi” (2017)

by Kavya Kadame Nagarakatte – Kannada In this debut novel, heroines Anusha and Asma find themselves at the center of a graceful exploration of love, memory, age, society, and more.

JUNE 2021 | SEEMA.COM | 69

AN ODE TO THE

BOOKS | SEEMA

E

USIV L C X E EMA

A SE

BROWN GIRL

Poet Talesha Maya captures the effects of misogyny, colorism and privilege in her second collection AHAD SANWARI

This is using my words and my voice To empower myself To pave a new path To stand in my truth free from guilt and shame

T

This is my rebellion...

his is how Talesha Maya caps the first bit from her second collection of poems, “Brown Girl Problems and Other Poems.” In person, she is charming and kind. But with a pen, she unleashes the power of suppression that centuries of tradition and culture

70 | SEEMA.COM | JUNE 2021

have imposed on her, carrying on the personal narratives she was able to craft in her first book, “Fragments.”

Using her newly released book of poems to express her thoughts, Maya delves into the intricacies of being a Hindu woman living in the U.K., a brown-skinned girl in a fair-skinned world. She uses poetry that comes in

all shapes and sizes to advocate for women who are the same, attacking the very ideals of colorism, privilege, discrimination, and sexism that have plagued womankind for millennia.

She even brings the Hindu goddesses to the table, calling out the hypocrisy of worshiping them while chastising human women for coming in anything

other than sample form. Maya speaks to SEEMA about using her poetry as a way of coping with her own thoughts and experiences, and how she hopes it could be a beacon for other women to rise up.

i told them i cannot help what happens to me

I really appreciate the fact that you don’t stick to a particular style or form of poetry, that there is just as much rhyme as there’s free verse and broken form. Was that a conscious decision?

No, actually. It’s so interesting because my writing is a coping mechanism, so I can’t always control how it comes out, I just need to get whatever it is out. I’m not intentionally focusing on the form of poetry, I’m just writing whatever comes to mind.

it’s predetermined

These themes that you’re exploring in this book, of male child preference, body shaming, mental health, and others, are these ones that you’ve written about and explored just as deeply before?

So “Brown Girl Problems” actually started because of a poem in there called “Period Rant.” I went through this circumstance it describes – [of] my granddad’s funeral and the reactions I had from family members and me being on my period and not being able to participate in certain rituals. It came from a place of anger and needing to really find a healthy place to be able to express that. The book is really about exploring my identity as a South Asian woman, and that includes body image, my political views, a combination of everything.

i am not “dirty”

no more than i can change my ethnicity

can’t you see it’s how i’m meant to be there is nothing wrong with me

Period Rant

Please remember Kali Ma is known as the dark Goddess With skin as dark as the night’s sky She is still worshipped by many Dark is Beautiful

You talk a lot in your book about your family, your grandparents, growing up with a single dad.

Could you tell me more about how your upbringing influenced your journey to poetry?

I’ve been writing since I was about seven, mainly from school. But the reason why I started writing poetry actually was because at the age of 14, I lost my mom to suicide. I needed a place or some way to express the grief, the anger, all those confusing emotions. My work is heavily influenced by that because, selfishly, I write for me. And then if other people can relate to it, that’s an added benefit for me. That’s why most of the work that I write is so personal, and it does include family in there, because it’s me dealing with what’s going on in my life.

Apart from personal material, you also make references to several topics that could be “controversial,” like the entire chapter about Hindu goddesses. Did you hesitate while putting those out there?

Definitely. I was going to remove it actually, because I felt so scared about what the reaction might be to that.

But my publisher felt strongly about keeping it in, and I also [felt that] after having a conversation with her. I read a book about Hindu goddesses, and I just felt like we don’t really talk about those little stories about them as much. It wasn’t until I read that book that I felt, “Oh JUNE 2021 | SEEMA.COM | 71

in her soft voice, she told me “boys don’t like dark skinned girls use this it will help” my fifteen-year-old self aghast and confused slowly reached out my hand as to not be disrespectful

PHOTOS CREDIT: : SOULFUL GROUP

Unfair and Definitely Not Lovely

my god, I didn’t know this about this or that sort of thing.” I just felt it was an interesting way of writing. For example, in the poem “kali ma lives within me,” [I take] these qualities of Kali Ma, which may be seen as negative, and apply them to myself.

Your book also dives a lot into the aspect of colorism.

How do you personally connect to it?

Like a lot of young Asian women, I have experienced colorism. It’s such a ridiculous thing to me because here in the West, people are putting on self tan and sitting and bathing in the sun because they want to be darker and have a tan. And within Indian culture, there’s such an emphasis on being “fair and lovely.” These ideals of 72 | SEEMA.COM | JUNE 2021

being an Asian woman centered around fair skin, long hair, slim, petite, all these ideas are so old fashioned and are deep trenched in colonialism, actually. I had that experience when I was 15 and some beautician handed me a tub of bleaching cream, I literally did not know how to react. I thought, “what am I supposed to do? am I supposed to be polite and take it? or shall I say, ‘what the hell?’’ And it really affected my self esteem. I already had body image issues, but then to add on top of that this idea that you’re dark, and that means you’re not beautiful, that’s another thing. I used to love Shah Rukh Khan, but now that he endorses “Fair and Lovely,” I don’t know if I can.

How supportive has your family been of your work?

Enormously. They are so proud of me. I was so worried about what the reaction might be, but I’ve not had anyone say anything negative there. It’s interesting, because it’s a creative career, you think sometimes, “Oh, what are they going to say?” But they’re really lovely.

That’s good to hear! Where do you see yourself going with your poetry? What’s the dream?

I think I’m moving slightly away from poetry. I’m really into spirituality and self-development and selfimprovement, I’m actually studying holistic massage therapy. So I’d like to write something that can be helpful to other people and maybe weave in my experiences, something that I feel is going to help people heal and learn and grow.

Have you thought about performing your work in India?

I would actually love to. I hadn’t written any of my books [before] I went to India in 2018. But when I revisit, I’d love to perform. In fact, hopefully, I’m going to make “Brown Girl Problems” into a video and put it on YouTube, so maybe that will be able to be shared with my family in India and more globally, but I would love to go and perform there.

I never saw a lot of work like this being performed in India, it’s much freer for Indians outside of the country to have these conversations.

I’ve noticed, even when I visited in 2018. It’s the expectations, like “you should pick up your cousin’s plate for him,” certain things that I would not think twice to challenge here. But when you’re there, you don’t want to upset your family. So there are uncomfortable conversations that you want to have.

But I know it’s definitely changing. Because some of my younger cousins have read the book, and they’re having these conversations.

HOROSCOPE | SEEMA

FORECAST WITH FARZANA Mar 21 - Apr 19

Expect financial security, power and fulfillment.

With power comes the need to control; and with money, the need to define ownership. It is time to put your needs, first and courageously pursue your goals.

Clinging to the status quo may hold you back from possible new avenues of income or experience. So, live in the moment and let things flow. Free yourself from the need to work too hard and receive too little. In the love area, you may want to give some space in your relationship. Perseverance is your buzzword. What you see as an obstacle is an opportunity waiting to blossom. You may well have cause for some celebration.

Apr 20 - May 20

Change is coming and it is time to buckle up!

Everything has come together, and you are in the right place, doing the right thing, achieving what you have envisioned.

Follow the vision you have nurtured with focus, tenacity and grit. Use this momentum to put your projects and plans into action.

Usher in a new era with new friends, ideas and learning. You might finally feel more like yourself than you have felt in a

while. Independence, initiative and creative expression are your strengths. Use these gifts wisely. Manifest the magic of a new relationship or honor your current relationship with the gift of attention.

May 21 - Jun 20

The gateway of opportunity opens to allow something in your life to come full circle. Say ‘yes’ and step out of the shadows, push past your perceived limitations, and spread your light into the world. Your career, friends, finances are likely to go through some changes. Bask in the opportunities headed towards you. A new relationship, or perhaps the strengthening an existing one is in the offing. As new dreams and visions are emerging, clear your emotional clutter. Celebrate this victory of great fulfillment and joy. The world is ready to receive you so new overseas connections may not be far behind. Are you ready?

Jun 21 - Jul 22

You are on top of your game in your personal transformation.

Victory in the situation you are grappling with will depend on whether you can rein in your emotions.

If you wish to make a positive impact, pay attention to how you are expressing yourself;

both energetically and verbally. Be firm and focused. However, try not to annoy people around you. In matters of the heart, allow yourself the joy of romantic moments.

You may want to nudge away that all-tooserious demeanor and add some flair in your communication. Financial prudence and focus on health is wise.

Jul 23 - Aug 22

Discipline, power and easy confidence are required in the coming weeks. Claim your authority as a leader and influencer and do not let others put you down. Focus on adding structure and control in your family and work life. Break down challenges into its parts, then map out the actions you need to take to resolve it. Stick to your plan and see them through. Keep the worry-monster at bay, else overthinking will distract you. Try not to be too rigid and tight-fisted; it may mess your vibe, especially, in your relationships. Make time to relax and rejuvenate your body and soul.

Aug 23 - Sept 22 This month is a reminder to work towards cooperation and compromise.

And, examine whether you are being fair

JUNE 2021 | SEEMA.COM | 73

with others or only focused on your needs.

Partnerships, collaboration, teamwork will inspire victory. Keep your eyes open for a business partner or mentor who is keen to support your goals. Relationships are in the spotlight for all the good reasons.

Communicate with your partner at every turn to ensure your ideas remain aligned. The only way to win any argument is through tact, mutual respect and appreciation. At times, you may feel as though you are Yoda since everyone is knocking at your door for advice.

Relax and be kind to yourself, too.

Sept 23 - Oct 22

This is the time to build your dreams therefore, your focus is likely to be on your career and finance. Life may seem to be monotonously moving from one video call to another; however, success lies in the grind. Being intentional about your goals can help you create the reality you desire. Stay in pursuit of that promotion, innovation, or business project; crunch time is now. Having a mentor can help you rapidly accelerate your success and grow your bottom line. Upskilling your skills will elevate your market cap. While career takes precedence do not ignore your romantic life.

Communication is key.

Oct 23 - Nov 21

You are in a grand moment of becoming. If you are called to carry the day for your team, take charge and show up. Remain focused on the outcome you want and work, closely with your team to achieve victory. Do not allow yourself to be embittered when others get the recognition you feel you deserve. Watch out for envious friends. Stay close to those who stand alongside you. Regardless of what field 74 | SEEMA.COM | JUNE 2021

you are in, a promotion, raise, an educational achievement, and money are likely. In the love area, things are stable and secure. Invest in healthier routines and be more mindful of being “Zoomifried.”

Nov 22 - Dec 21

Know that you are supported, loved and capable of making it through anything. The universe recognizes your hard work, so anticipate good tidings coming your way. You may consider starting something new and are likely to receive support. However, if you are depending on other people’s approval for your own happiness, you will miss the mark. If you have been holding back your feelings, now is the time to initiate a meaningful conversation and clear the air. Be resourceful and open to new ideas in love, money and life. It is an opportune time to take baby steps and grow from there.

Dec 22 - Jan 19

Time to socialize and rekindle some of your lost loves, either for people or projects.

If you feel satisfied with your life, remember there is so much more available if you allow yourself to expand beyond your current expectations. Give wings to your creative side and explore new ideas and opportunities from perspectives involving relationships, finances and your career. Let the beauty of the month remind you of the grace in transitions. Do not limit yourself by what you have achieved or what others expect of you.

There is no room for procrastination. Take action now. You may tend to overindulge yourself, so keep an eye on the weight.

Jan 20 – Feb 20

It is time to look beneath the surface and ask yourself if there is an area of life that

you have been avoiding changes in?

Conversely, you may find yourself feeling outplayed.

Assess, research and then plan your action – for knowledge is power.

Notice where you have been rationalizing to keep yourself “safe.” If you are hiring, involved in a relationship, or considering a business collaboration, go beyond the usual reference check. Watch your words, finances, reputation, and your back. Trust your intuition and the process of your personal growth.

Step up your game to be victorious. It is time to learn, and to learn to be brave.

Feb 21 – Mar 20

Leadership comes with the paranoia of being challenged or overthrown.

You are almost at the position you desire. The past does not decide your future; you do. Relinquish the need to place everybody else’s happiness above your own, and saying yes to people and projects that drain your resources. Be kind and compassionate to yourself. Today, tap into the love that the universe is sharing with you and choose loving, supportive circumstances and relationships.

The possibility of things working in your favor are high. However, for your vision to take shape, it is imperative to leave old patterns, behind. In relationships, communication and being realistic will build stronger bridges.

This is a generalized forecast and would differ based on your personal details.

For a personalized forecast, you may contact Farzana at surifarzana@gmail.com or visit her website, www.farzanasuri.com

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