THE ISSUE ABOUT HAPPINESS 1*13
HAPPINESS noun
pleasure, contentment, satisfaction, cheerfulness, merriment, gaiety, joy, joyfulness, joviality, jollity, glee, delight, good spirits, lightheartedness, well-being, enjoyment; exuberance, exhilaration, elation, ecstasy, jubilation, rapture, bliss, blissfulness, euphoria, transports of delight.
Are happy?
What is it that makes us truly happy? And why of all things is it so darn complicated to answer such a rather easy question? Unlike for instance: What’s your favorite color? City? Food? The quest for happiness probably drives us throughout the day. A day that ends with a good night’s sleep and a new day that begins with a smile on our faces. No worries or queasy feelings, just the fact to be looking forward to this new day because it is certainly going to be a good day. How very much we dislike to answer the question “Are you happy?” is however alarming. I don’t really know why... Are we afraid to say and therefore admit that we have all we need and nothing better needs to come along? Or is it because we simply aren’t? Or better yet, do we expect to be “happier”? There probably isn’t another question this relative and rhetorical. A question we prefer to answer with an presumptuous and ironic smile because come on, who is really happy? Maybe we need to think more about what it is that makes us not happy but still satisfied with our lives? Is it love? Money? Music? Or just really good food? It’s a bit like loosing weight. We all know what to do: eat healthy and exercise. Yet, despite the best instructions, losing two kilos is hardly easy. So how exactly are we supposed to find our ultimate goal in life, true happiness? Some people believe that serious changes are in order for them to achieve this ultimate goal: I will finally lose those 5 kilos and everything is going to be different. A salary bump and all will be well. When I’ll meet the love of my life, I will be happy. Sure all these things might get you there and for some people one of those things might do the trick. For other people however, said changes need to happen at another level. They have to find themselves first, get to know themselves again, a fresh start, a new way to their inner selves. What might sound a bit esoteric is actually the universal truth that in order to be happy, you’ll need to be at peace with yourself. Thus applies
the following quote by Lucius Annaeus Seneca: Happy is not who is perceived as such by others, but who believes so himself. Why do we look out for the big things, yet unkown to us, rather than to enjoy the small things that are already part of our lives. After all the small things in life help us get through the day, provoke the butterflies in our stomachs and make us smile. And if more sleep, more discipline, more exercise or a better developed social life are scientifically proven to make us happier, it should be feasible, right? Do we really want to be blissfully happy or is it enough for us to be where we are supposed to be? If something fits, it usually feels right: We do the job that suits us, love the person that gets us to be the best version of ourselves and we live where we feel at home. Are we automatically happy if all those things feel right? Or is it the hope to aspire to more satisfaction in the future that really keeps us going? Like “the path is the goal”? Is it the fact to try or the fact to succeed that makes us happy? Is it the training or the crossing of the finish line? Is it the fact to clean up our mess or to look around a tidy room? Shouldn’t we be prouder to have started something at all than to have successfully accomplished that something, setbacks none withstanding? It might help not make our happiness dependent of others, hope they’ll change, so we’ll feel better but to try to take better care of ourselves. Maybe just simply take more time for ourselves. Grab the bulls by horns instead of waiting for happiness to ring our doorbell. Of course, this is easier said than done. Ironically naturally happy people are more often lucky than unhappy ones. They meet their significant others, get that raise and are healthier. Most of the times at least. They have better charisma, they’re more relaxed, more confident, smile more often and offer their help more easily. What comes around, goes around. And in those life-is-unfair moments, we should focus more on the small pleasures of life. Specifically if it’s hard to appreciate them, because usually, we only realize how good we’ve been until it’s gone. So, it’s just wiser to appreciate life at all times. Nothing is worse than to look back at a moment in our life we were happy and didn’t notice. nadia
What happy?
1. Health 2. Family
22. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside
3. Finding time for the important things in life
23. Managing to do something you thought you never could
4. Exercising
24. Knowing that somebody misses you
5. Falling in love 6. Good news 7. Good food
25. Making new friends or spending time with old ones
8. Friends
26. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all
9. Chocolate
27. Feeling needed
10. A good conversation
28. Getting or giving presents
11. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep
29. Enjoying a good movie or concert
12. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you
31. Making eye contact with a cute stranger
13. Loving your job 14. Appreciating what you have 15. Laughing at yourself 16. Hearing your favourite song on the radio 17. Finding money in your coat from last winter
30. Getting mail
32. Making chocolate chip cookies (and eating them...!) 33. The beach 34. Holding hands with someone you care about 35. Taking a drive on a pretty road
18. The purring of a cat
36. Laughing so hard your face hurts
19. Having someone tell you that you’re beautiful/good looking
37. Running through sprinklers
20. Knowing you’ve done the right thing, no matter what other people think
39. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply
21. A kiss
38. Singing
40. Swinging on swings
20 Facts happiness
1.
Your genes and family upbringing account for only half of your happiness levels.
2.
Only 10 percent of your happiness comes from external circumstances.
3.
Your outlook on life, and what you choose to do with your life accounts for 40 percent of your happiness levels. This includes your friendships, work, and participation in your community.
4.
It gets easier as you age.
5.
A mere 20 minutes of exercise, three days each week will increase your happiness by 10 to 20 percent after six months.
6.
The happier you are, the more antibodies your body generates – up to 50 percent more, in fact.
7.
The number of people with clinical depression is now 3 to 10 times more common than it was for our grandparents at the same age.
8.
Happy people generally earn more than unhappy people.
9.
Women are unhappiest in their life around the age of 37; men around the age of 42.
10. Dancing increases happiness. 11. Sports facilities and community centres increase a community’s overall happiness. 12.
Money buys happiness. Those who can afford to have their basic material needs taken care of are happier than those who cannot.
13.
Money does not buy happiness. After having your basic material needs met, additional money does not have any impact on your levels of happiness.
14. People in relationships are usually happier than people who are single. 15. Happier people are more likely to retain relationships. 16. Education and intelligence do not make you more happy than anyone else. 17.
Happiness has a fragrance. Clinical experiments on body odour have proved your scent changes between when you are stressed or happy
18. The more you hug your children, the happier they will be as adults. 19.
The most powerful way to increase your short-term feelings of happiness is to perform random acts of kindness to others. Five such acts in a week will increase your happiness for up to three months.
20.
The most powerful way to increase your long-term feelings of happiness is to understand your strengths and talents, or life purpose, and to work on sharing those parts of yourself with others.
www.davidweedmark.com
3. Finding time
9. Chocolate
33. The beach
5. Falling in love
29. A good movie
7. Good food
18. Purring of a cat
,
ˇ Grab your complimentary Happiness ˇ
*The top-ranked foods for emotional response, combining the happiness, excitability, pleasantness, and comfort scores, were ice cream, chocolate, and cookies.
www.webmd.com
attempted recipe happiness
I have come to the conclusion after careful consideration, that achieving happiness can’t be that complicated. After all children can do it. Indeed most of them learn how to smile and laugh before they can even walk. So let’s just assume that this fact is part of a larger biological imperative, that – if circumstances concur – happiness, or at least the ability to feel happiness, is part of our DNA. In all fairness children are children. They eat, they sleep, they play, they grow and they learn. Most of them have either parents or guardians that deal with the more serious issues in life thus allowing their children to lead a carefree life. So the real question is, is this the recipe for happiness? Having somebody else deal with the worries and challenges of life, while we have fun in an adult’s version of a playgroup? Imagine not having to go to work every day, to pay bills, to argue with the neighbor about hedges or trees, to put dinner on the table even though your pantry looks like a designer outlet after massive sales. Sounds good? Hell, yeah! Now, imagine not getting to choose what time to go to bed, having to study algebra all over again, living on an allowance and worst of all depending on somebody else entirely. Well, not so fun anymore, is it? The truth is, even though our worries and responsibilities can sometimes get the better of us, they also make us who we are. They allow us to grow strong, to know what we want, to learn how to fight for it and to be proud of our accomplishments. Unfortunately, we can’t be happy if we haven’t had the opportunity to overcome our problems. Happiness simply can’t be achieved without them. So if the key to happiness lies not in avoiding the difficult times, maybe it does in enjoying the good? When was the last time you were so wrapped up in a toy, or any other object for that matter, that you stared at it, treated it like the most fascinating thing in the world for hours? Remember the euphoria after riding a bike for the first time without any help? Remember that pink doll under the Christmas tree, the one you had looked at so many times in the catalogue its pages were mere shreds? Remember the feeling? When was the last time anything in the world felt like that? Materialistic you say? It’s not about the things or money in life, it’s about the people? Before I agree, let me just quote a famous actress – I believe it was Audrey Hepburn – who once said
something that goes a little like this: “If I have to cry, I prefer to do it in a private car rather than the subway.” Putting the importance of financial wellbeing aside for a moment, let’s focus on these other human beings, the people in our lives, that have so much power over us, they can make us cry. It all starts at a very young age. Scientists discovered indeed another biological imperative: this one involving cute features and childlike characteristics and making sure that various adults, other than the parents of the child in question of course, volunteer their love and support for said child. They are – even more so as babies – the natural center of any gathering or group of adults, the recipients of admiration, gifts and attention. Their social life is as rich as it is ever going to be. This is not counting the many friends or schoolmates they’ll meet and become acquainted to. So, how about the people in our adult lives? Do we appreciate their presence? Are we grateful for their existence? Do we show our love? What if they disappoint us? What if they’re not enough? Are they enough? If all else fails us, if we hate our job, if the roof over our heads leaks, if we haven’t been able to realize just the tiniest bit of our dreams, if we are a true wreck, is a loved one going to fix our happiness? And just for how long? And then of course, there is love. With a capital L. The all-time favorite magical potion that supposedly cures us of all that ails us. The unlimited power that conquers everything. The almost mythical force that has accompanied us all since our earliest childhood and the beginning of time while we’re at it. But does love conquer all? What if love is unrequited? What if the object of our affections doesn’t feel the same? Or we can’t find the right people? Is love going to make us happy then? In conclusion, I can’t but finish this article with a cliché. It is obviously not a single thing that is going to make us happy. It is the balance, the right combination of a number of things that conjure that unique blend of happiness that varies from one person to another. As you see, this is not failsafe recipe for everybody. It is more of a “see-what-ingredients-you-have-and-mix-together-until-they-taste-good” type op thing. Trial and error people. Bon appétit! the simps
25 Films happy
1.
The Wizard of Oz (Fleming, USA, 1939)
2.
Stand By Me (Reiner, USA, 1986)
3.
The Sound of Music (Wise, USA, 1965)
4.
E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial (Spielberg, USA, 1982)
5.
Harold and Maude (Ashby, USA, 1971)
6.
The Goodbye Girl (Ross, USA, 1977)
7.
Life Is Beautiful (Benigni, Italy, 1997)
8.
Cinema Paradiso (Tornatore, Italy/France, 1988)
9.
Some Like It Hot (Wilder, USA, 1959)
10. Finding Nemo (Stanton, USA, 2003) 11. The Last Detail (Ashby, USA, 1973) 12. His Girl Friday (Hawks, USA, 1940) 13. Sullivan’s Travels (Sturges, USA, 1941) 14. Duck Soup (McCarey, USA, 1933) 15. One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest (Forman, USA, 1975) 16. The World’s Fastest Indian (Donaldson, New Zealand, 2005) 17. Groundhog Day (Ramis, USA, 1993) 18. Looking For Eric (Loach, UK, 2009) 19. It’s a Wonderful Life (Capra, USA, 1946) 20. Modern Times (Chaplin, USA, 1936) 21. Planes, Trains, and Automobiles (Hughes, USA, 1987) 22. Forrest Gump (Zemeckis, USA, 1994) 23. Amelie (Jeunet, France, 2001) 24. Little Miss Sunshine (Dayton/Faris, USA, 2006) 25. The Shawshank Redemption (Darabont, USA, 1994)
www.top10films.co.uk
Are happy?
Yes
No Change something
Keep doing whatever you’re doing
Yes No Buy the original print at www.merchline.com
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memory d a o l n Dow e her
29 Songs happy
1. Jamie Lidell Another Day
17. Queen Bohemian rapsody
2. Street Life Jackie Brown Soundtrack
18. Journey Don’t stop believin’
3. FUNKY P Society Heaven
19. Guns ‘n roses Sweet child o’ mine
4. Coldplay Life In Technicolor
20. Lenny Kravitz Believe in me
5. Belle and Sebastian Another Sunny Day
21. Bruce Springsteen Devils and dust
6. Coldplay Charlie Brown
22. Kings of Leon Closer
7. Philipp Poisel Als gäbs kein Morgen mehr
23. Florence and the Machine Shake it out
8. Ben Howard Dancing In The Dark
24. Joy Division Love will tear us apart
9. City and Colour Love Don’t Live Here Anymore
25. Dexys Midnight Runners Come On Eileen
10. The Intersphere Prodigy Composers
26. Keane Silenced by the Night
11. Bon Iver I can’t make you love me
27. Birdy Fire and rain
12. Me and My Drummer You’re a runner
28. Vertical Horizon You’re a god
13. Brandi Carlile The Story
29. Blind Melon No rain
14. Swedish House Mafia Don’t you worry child 15. Bon Iver Fume 16. Jose Gonzales Heartbeats
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