From The Ed... Happy 2nd Birthday Sentinella Malaga!!!! Wow, another year, this last year has really flown by but not without some excitement (birth of our daughter Sofia) and some laughter of course. We are thrilled you still enjoy reading your Sentinella magazine each and every month. It’s always nice to know the magazines fly out of our distributon points before the rest! We would also like to thank all our advertisers old and new for their continued support and our regular contributors who always deliver (and on time) great articles. Finally, just to mention Robert, Luisa & my folks who have all helped heaps in the last 8 months. Also, Happy 40th birthday to Des of Caseys! After the Grand Slam I think 40 will be your lucky number!!! Easter Tip - Hippocampus has opened its doors in a new venue this month in Fuengirola. They specialise in Belgian Chocolates, Beers and Gifts. See page 18.
A Taste of What’s Inside
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Enter the weird world of Strange News Quality cars at affordable prices with Rent a car 3000 We go down under this month in our Around the world Try our Easter Cupcakes, Food for thought They’re ‘Rocking all over the Coast’, Let’s Dance Roc More expert advice from Deep Blue Pools It’s party time in Torrox, check out the Latest News Is it your lucky month? Find out in your Horoscopes Got a minute, you’ll need it! Puzzle Page Why not to argue with a woman, Jokes Services on the Costa del Sol, Business Directory
Geek replaces lost finger with USB drive Twins released as court cannot tell them apart Twin brothers arrested on suspicion of stealing £5.6m of jewellery and watches in Berlin have been released because police can't prove which one did it. The 27-year-olds had been accused of the daring heist at Europe's largest department store – KaDeWe. The robbers are thought to have abseiled into the shop through a skylight after scaling the side of the building. A court statement read: "From the evidence we have, we can deduce that at least one of the brothers took part in the crime but it has not been possible to determine which one." The brothers, from Lower Saxony, were arrested two weeks after the incident, but because their genetic information is so similar, traces of DNA found at the scene of the crime did not provide conclusive evidence.
A Finnish computer programmer who lost a finger in a motorcycle accident had it replaced with a USB drive. Jerry Jalava built a special prosthetic finger which contains computer storage for photos, movies and other useful files. It looks like a normal finger but he can peel it back from the 'nail' and plug it into the USB slot on his computer. He embedded a USB key in a traditional prosthetic finger giving him the world's only two gigabyte finger. The finger is not permanently attached to his hand meaning it can be removed when plugged into a computer. "When I'm using the USB, I just leave my finger inside the slot and pick it up after I'm ready."
In The Spotlight Quality Cars at affordable prices Keith and Vicky have been owners of Rent a car 3000 since 2003. They offer a car for every need and budget, ranging from a small run around, to a large people carrier. They pride themselves on quality cars at affordable prices. There is no additional charge for fuel, they operate on the simple basis of whatever fuel is in the car at the start of the rental is returned with the same amount, they don’t take a fuel deposit or charge for a full tank of fuel. They believe the success of Rent a car 3000 is due to their ‘can do’ attitude, and no nonsense pricing. They offer a personal meet and greet service on arrival at Malaga airport, so you bypass the long queues associated with the larger airport companies. Even if your flight arrives at out of office hours a member of the team will be there to meet you. Alternatively if you have already arrived at your holiday destination, they are happy to deliver directly to your hotel, apartment, villa etc. Alternatively if you are resident on the coast, why go to the airport when you can have it delivered to you for free. All cars are 5 door and come with air conditioning and CD/Radio. Prices are inclusive of insurance and taxes and there are no extra charges for additional drivers or baby and booster seats. Rent a car 3000 has many customers that return every year - Proof of their service, quality and value for money. This continued business is helping them to improve their fleet of cars year upon year whilst remaining competitively priced and offering a great service. For quotes, bookings or general enquiries you can contact them on: 952 490 692 or 639 682 081 or via email rentacar3000@hotmail.com. To view their fleet of cars you can visit the website, www.rentacar3000.com
Main Exports: Coal, gold, meat, wool, alumina, iron ore Life Expectancy:80 years
Around the world - Down Under (Australia) Population: 20.3 million (Density: 380,000 m2 per person available). Total Area: 7.7 million sq. km. (That's slightly smaller than the United States mainland). Location: Oceania (continent between the Indian Ocean and the South Pacific Ocean) Language:
English
Capital City: Sydney?)
Canberra (who thought
Currency:
AUD Australian Dollar
GDP:
$824.9 billion
Famous for: Sport, BBQ’s and inventing the Black Box Flight Recorder, the Ute and the Hills Hoist! Biggest Celebrity: Kylie Minogue National Sports: Aussie rules football, rugby, cricket and soccer. Natural Hazards: Cyclones, drought and forest fires. The biggest killer of all has been heatwaves. Immigration: More migrants move to Sydney than any other Australian city.
The Big Dry: Australia has the lowest precipitation of any of the world's inhabited continents. Animals: The world’s biggest crocs live here - The salt water crocodile can grow up to 6 metres and each year one or two people are eaten by them. There are 1500 hundred species of spiders and over 6000 species of flies. The Tasmanian Devil does exist, and it has the jaw strength of a crocodile. Useless facts: Australia has the world's largest cattle station. At 30,028 km2 it is almost the same size as Belgium. Melbourne has the second largest Greek population in the world, after Athens. The Great Barrier Reef is the largest organic construction on earth. Amazing but true: In 1954 Bob Hawke made it into the Guinness Record Book: he sculled 2.5 pints of beer in 11 seconds. Bob Hawke went on to become the Prime Minister of Australia.
90 million chocolate Easter bunnies are made for Easter each year. When taking a bite into a chocolate bunny, 76% of people prefer to bite off the ears first. 5% eat the feet first and 4% eat the tail first. Adults prefer milk chocolate (65%) over dark chocolate (27%). Each day throughout the year, 5 million marshmallow chicks and bunnies are produced in preparation for Easter. 16 billion jelly beans are made specifically for Easter which is enough to fill a plastic egg the size of a 9-story building. The first chocolate eggs were made in Germany in the 19th century. Solid chocolate bunnies are favoured, followed closely by hollow chocolate bunnies, marshmallow filled bunnies and other Easter bunny candy. The exchange of eggs for Easter dates back to a springtime custom older than Easter itself in which eggs were given as a symbol of rebirth in many cultures. Easter is the first Sunday after the first Saturday after the first full moon after the equinox. Got that ? The traditional act of painting eggs is called Pysanka. The most famous decorated Easter eggs were those made by the well-known goldsmith, Peter Carl Faberge. The Guinness Book of Records holder for the largest Easter egg ever made is the Belgian chocolate producer Guylian. The egg measured 8.32 metres high. Twenty-six craftsmen worked altogether 525 hours to build the egg. They needed 1950 kg of chocolates.
Easter Cupcake Baskets Celebrate Easter with these adorable cupcakes decorated with licorice and sweets to look like tiny baskets.
Ingredients: 1 ¾ cups self raising flour 2 tbsp sugar 1 tsp baking powder 1 egg, lightly beaten ¾ cup milk 80g butter, melted Prepared icing Shoestring licorice Jelly beans or other desired lollies
Method: Preheat oven to 200c and oil twelve cup muffin tin. Sift flour, sugar and baking powder in a bowl. In another bowl combine egg, milk and
Prep Time: 15 min Cooking time: 25 minutes Makes: 12 cupcakes melted butter. Add liquids all at once to flour mixture and stir gently with a fork until just ombined. Batter should look quite lumpy. Spoon mixture into muffin tins and bake for 20-25 minutes until golden brown. Cool on a wire rack before icing the muffins. Use licorice for a handle on each basket and decorate with jelly beans/lollies.
Enjoy!
In The Spotlight MODERN JIVE ‘Rocking all over the Coast’ Modern Jive is sometimes referred to by the brand names CEROC or LeROC. It is a blend of Jiving and Salsa that can be danced to almost all types of music and has gone global in less than 10 years. The main reason for its meteoric rise in popularity is because the same dance moves look just as good danced to slow romantic music as they do to ‘Rock and Roll’ and is therefore enjoyed by people of all ages. Now you can learn Modern Jive right here on the Costa del Sol every week night. The dance company ‘LetsDanceRoc’ has already opened five fabulous venues between Nerja and Sotogrande and has twenty two experienced Modern Jive dance instructors known as CREW. To learn Modern Jive you don’t need a partner. On an average evening half of the dancers arrive as couples and half come by themselves. The way the teaching is organised you will be dancing with everyone of the opposite sex at some point during the evening. Modern Jive evenings are not age specific and are enjoyed by all. By the end of your first LetsDanceRoc Modern Jive evening four things will have happened; you will have your own Modern Jive routine, will have burned off loads of calories, made some new friends and for three hours, forgotten anything to do with ‘credit crunch’, ‘global warming’ or the state of the housing market. Modern Jive is pure escapism and as healthy a workout as a trip to the Gym. You don’t need to book, all you have to do is turn up at 8.30; teaching starts at 8.50 (you can’t join in after it starts) and finishes around 11.30. Admission each evening is 10€. LetsDanceRoc venues are: Monday – Torremolinos, Tuesday – Cancelada, Wednesday - Torrox Costa, Thursday – Las Chapas and Friday in Duquesa. For more information: call 635 71 72 11 or visit www.LetsDanceRoc.com
Famous Sporting Qoutes: "... and later we'll have action from the men's cockless pairs" (Sue Barker Commentating on Rowing) "Her time is about 4.33, which she's capable of" (David Coleman - Athletics) "Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer" (David Acfield) "It'll give me a chance to open up my legs to make sure everything's firing right before the British Championships." "A quote from Nicole Cooke - I think she's talking about cycling!" (Philip Durell, Canada) "He dribbles a lot and the opposition don't like it - you can see it all over their faces" (Ron Atkinson - Footballer) 'I've had 14 bookings this season - 8 of which were my fault, but 7 of which were disputable.' (Paul Gascoigne) 'I've never wanted to leave. I'm here for the rest of my life, and hopefully after that as well.' (Alan Shearer) 'I faxed a transfer request to the club at the beginning of the week, but let me state that I don't want to leave Leicester.' (Stan Collymore) 'All that remains is for a few dots and commas to be crossed.' (Mitchell Thomas) 'Sometimes in football you have to score goals.' (Thierry Henry) 'Without being too harsh on David Beckham, he cost us the match.' (Ian Wright) 'I've seen them on TV on a Sunday morning most days of the week.' (Jack Charlton) 'I was surprised, but I always say nothing surprises me in football.' (Les Ferdinand)
April Fools Pranks 1957 - The Spaghetti Harvest The respected BBC news show Panorama announced that thanks to a very mild winter and the virtual elimination of the dreaded spaghetti weevil, Swiss farmers were enjoying a bumper spaghetti crop. It accompanied this announcement with footage of Swiss peasants pulling strands of spaghetti down from trees. Huge numbers of viewers were taken in. Many called the BBC wanting to know how they could grow their own spaghetti tree. To this the BBC replied, "place a sprig of spaghetti in a tin of tomato sauce and hope for the best." 1965 - Smell-o-vision In 1965 the BBC aired an interview with a man who claimed that viewers at home could experience aromas produced in a TV studio. They went on to demonstrate by cutting onions and brewing coffee, then had "viewers" call in with claims they could smell these scents, thus convincing the viewers it was true. 1999 - Y2k CD Bug In 1999, Warner Music and Universal Music Group along with a popular Canadian radio station informed it's listeners that the Y2K bug would affect all CD players making music discs created prior to 2000 unreadable. Fortunately, a Hologram sticker was available to enable the old-format discs to continue working. The stickers could be purchased for $2 and immediately the phones became jammed both at the record companies and radio station, and everyone was demanding these stickers for free! The calls continued even after the radio station announced it was a joke. 2003 - Bill Gates Dead 2003 Bill Gates is dead, shot by a lone gunman at a charity event in Los Angeles. After three South Korean networks broadcast the story on local TV, ensuing panic triggers a 1.5 percent drop in the Seoul stock exchange — a value loss of $3 billion. Just another Windows-related crash!
PoolSchool - Total Alkalinity Total alkalinity (TA) is a measure of the total alkaline substances found in the pool water. Basically, it’s a measure of the dissolved solids. It’s in the same area as pH, but is distinct from it. In swimming pool water, we measure bicarbonate alkalinity, which should be between 80 - 120 ppm. When (TA) is within this range, it prevents rapid pH changes and "stabilises" the pH level. If the TA is too low, the grout between the tiles will be gradually eaten away, metals corrode, the pool's walls and floor can stain, the water can turn green, eyes burn and we can have pH bounce (pH rapidly going up and down, seemingly at random). If the TA is too high, the pH is difficult to adjust, the water becomes cloudy, the chlorine loses its efficiency as a disinfectant and (according to your test kit) the pool constantly needs acid. It is recommended that you test the TA regularly, but in practice it changes very little in a well-maintained pool. Most reagent test-kits do not measure for TA, but we have an answer to that: - Bring a plastic bottle of water from your pool into our shop - and we will test TA for you. To raise the level of TA, use sodium bicarbonate; it is the only chemical which will do this without increasing the pH unduly. To raise the TA of your pool by 10 ppm use 700g of sodium bicarbonate for every 50 cubic metres of water. Note - you should add sodium bicarbonate at the rate of 700g per 50,000 litres of water every 4 days. Raising the TA can therefore be quite a timeconsuming, slow process. If you just want to raise the TA, pH-Plus should not be used as it will affect pH also. Lowering the TA is also a slow process. Acid, either liquid or dry, is added to the deepest part of the pool with the filter off. Add acid a little at a time, diluting it before pouring it into the pool. Wait 3 days between applications. It could take days or even weeks to reduce the TA if it is very high. To lower the TA of a 50 cubic metre pool by 10 ppm use 800ml of liquid acid at 30% concentration or 100g of
sodium bisulphate (dry acid). If you would like a copy of our Email Newsletter, please send an email, with ‘Subscribe’ as the subject, to newsletter@deep-blue-pools.com Deep Blue Pools have moved to Avenida Blas Infante, 36 - Opposite Brit Essentials Supermarket. Copyright remains with author.
L.I.V.E. Party Time in Torrox to help Malaga Children’s Home LIVE – the ex pat charity supporting the Malaga Children’s Home – is holding a fundraising party day in Torrox Costa at the El Ancla beach restaurant on Saturday 18 April starting at 1pm until late. Some of the best live bands around: Not to Fall, E1-11, Broken English, Chameleon, Silver Fox, and More will provide the music and there is an opportunity to see CAR 1, the hottest new addition to four wheels on the Costa del Sol. A dance demonstration by Energya, side shows, bouncy castle, craft stall and more will provide entertainment for all ages. In addition to live entertainment and old style fête attractions, there will be a BBQ running throughout the day and, of course, the El Ancla bar. LIVE has been supporting the Children’s Home – La Ciudad de los Niños - for five years. LIVE pays for days out for the children, has helped to refurbish the dormitories, and is fundraising to provide a new pool for the home that has lost most of its sports facilities to the new motorway construction. You will find El Ancla on the old N340a coast road as you drive east leaving Torrox Costa in the direction of Nerja. If you would like to help the Malaga Children’s Home please call Brian Marsh on 620 791 441. Your call will be much appreciated. Web: www.live-spain.org
Dates to look out for this month: 6-10th: Massive Clearance - Seconds R’ Us 10th: Im & Er (Rock & Soul Duo) - JK’s 12th: Easter Sunday 23rd: St Georges Day 24th: Karl Knight (One Man Show!) - JK’s 25th: For One Night Only (Talent contest) El Tacos, with ACE FM radio 25th-26th: Painting Weekend - JoeDaisy Studio Every Thursday: New Country Farmers Market in Alora at Los Caballos
As the early flushes of flowers finish on daisy like plants such as margaritas, deadhead to stimulate continuous flowering and providing wonderful borders and flower beds. Prepare and feed soil and plant new flowering plants, shrubs and trees, ensuring young plantlets grown from seed are kept damp and protected from slugs and snails. Plant sensibly, especially in these hard economic times reducing the risk profile of your flower garden by only planting native plants suitable for your micro climate and avoid the expensive risky imports. Losses and replacements are increasingly expensive. Before planting anything improve soils. Not only will this enable roots to quickly spread themselves but you will reduce the costs of summer irrigation, fertilizers, pesticides and dead or stunted plants. Fruit trees are now in blossom, to ensure the fruit continue to swell spring feed and give a weekly soaking down to the level of the main
roots. It is advisable to spray against various flying insects and air born fungi. If not already done so start to spray at least fortnightly against the geranium moths. Unfortunately the importation of plants have brought new previously unknown pest problems. Notably the geranium moth (Mosca Africana) that arrived with shipments of hothouse bred plants in the mid 1990’s and soon wiped out the wonderful banks of geraniums that we saw and had in our early years in Spain and more recently since the late 1990’s the red rhinoceros palm weevil
(Curculionido Ferruginosa) that arrived in shipments of inexpensive imported palms destined for golf courses and mega urbanisation's which are now killing off many young and mature Phoenix and Washingtonia palm trees. Til next month.... Rosie
In The Spotlight
Do you have a devil dog? Don’t despair, help is on the way! Nikki Alexander N.Dip.Sc is a pet Behaviour Counsellor and here to help you with all your training and behavioural problems. Nikki has spent over 22 years working with and studying animals, training first as a veterinary nurse before moving on to specialise in the field of animal behaviour when she became concerned about the huge numbers of dogs being presented with behavioural problems. Having worked at 3 of the largest rescue organisations in the U.K she has a vast amount of experience of working with problematic animals and has specialised with both human aggressive and dog aggressive dogs. She has worked with and studied hundreds of dogs over the years and has the deepest understanding of the needs of the dogs to develop into well behaved safe adult dogs in today’s society. She has worked with a wide variety of animals and has also studied marine mammal training at SeaWorld in Florida working with dolphins, walruses, sea lions and manatees and also trained animals for TV work before moving to Spain in 2003. She currently runs The Canine Advisory Service on the Costa del Sol and offers training & socialisation classes for dogs, puppies and people. Her classes are run with an emphasis on gentle yet effective methods that are fun for both dog and owner using the dog’s basic desire to work harder for rewards and interaction with humans. She also offers classes for children teaching them how to interact with and work with dogs and runs behaviour workshops and courses in canine behaviour and communication, assessment, training and rehabilitation for those wishing to extend their knowledge further. If you want to learn what your dog thinks, get the best from him or her and how to develop a more rewarding relationship with your best friend then call Nikki on 0034 656 401 504, email k9centre@hotmail.com or check out the website at: www.k9training-dogschoolspain.com
CAPRICORN - The cooler and calmer you remain in the face of dramas this month the more likely you are to come off with what you want. If it is a pay rise then do not show disappointment but state the reasons why you think you deserve it and leave it with them to consider. There may be a lot of nervous energy inside and a great release for this is physical work it will make you feel much better. By the 20th worries will be over and exploration, new sites and adventure beckons, spending time with family or in the home will bring rewards. AQUARIUS - Friends and acquaintances mean a lot to you right now and they will figure strongly in your life this month. This is an emotional phase for you and you will need to focus on what really matters in your life, however, you also have a lot of energy within that needs expressing. The way to deal with this is to ‘get it all out’, chat to friends, and spring clean until the house is sparkling. Money matters, gifts or rewards are possible towards the end of the month and if single there is the opportunity to meet someone through a friend.
PISCES - Romance is what spring is about for you, your personal magnetism is high and love, flowers and charm are in the air. Be careful not to fall head over heels straight away until you really get to know them – give it time before you completely surrender under this influence. Try to keep your feet on the ground as you can act on a whim at the moment. Career opportunities show themselves this month possibly involving creative and artistic leanings. Remember to keep budgeting and managing the books putting off major outlays until after 20th.
ARIES - This April you could feel a little sensitive, especially, when it comes to dealing with family issues. Instead of trying to hold back the tears it is much better to go with it, let them flow - it will be like an inner spring clean, a clearing of your personal closet. Once this phase is over you will feel light as a feather and ready to enjoy the summer with vitality and enthusiastic energy. By the end of the month single Aries will be romantically ready to dive in where ‘angels fear to tread’, that risk taking side of you coming to the fore once more.
TAURUS - This is the time to speak up and not let things slide, if you truly want a peaceful future then all misunderstandings or festering situations need to come out in the open. Effective communication is the key, no more sweeping things under the carpet and waiting for the right time – as the right time never seems to come. Playing it safe is always your first option but by the 16th you will wish to move ahead with your life and instigate changes – you may even travel abroad. Money may smile at you too just make sure you treat it with respect.
GEMINI - Hold back on an impulse to splash out on the 1st or this April Fools Day the joke could be on you. Just think save, save, save, don’t buy something that looks too good to be true it probably is. I am sure you will need this money for something more important at a later date. Much pleasure will be felt by being there to iron out other’s little problems that seem to elude them but not you. There is no stopping you by mid April when you are in your rightful space as the local social butterfly, when you will know everything about anything once more. CANCER - Lately it has been a period of deep thought and intense soul searching, now the rewards are about to manifest – you are being re-born. The time of the cocoon is over and you are ready to spread your wings and fly into the sunshine. Know that the fruits of your labour will be rewarded and this will give you the boost you so need. Foreign connections shine down upon you and bring good news. The veil is taken off a problem involving shared resources and the way ahead now seems clearer. LEO - Psychic powers well up from within and your radar is set on high alert, listen to the feelings that you have and trust them; they are preparing you and helping you to understand a complex emotional situation. You are likely to meet those of a similar mind to you and great fun, laughter and adventure is to be had. If you are single you could meet someone that makes more than a little impression on you and time will be spent getting to know this person better. Career and money matters take president by the end of April.
VIRGO - The party atmosphere is calling you; it is the energy of spring welling up within, giving you the nudge to party and mingle. Close relationships are important and come to fore, one partnership in particular takes precedent and allows you to see how dependent you can be on others. It is all about give and take at the moment and it will be evident as to how in balance this is. Your ability to absorb knowledge is high so use this opportunity to study, revise and focus on coursework, by the end of April you will be pleased that you did.
LIBRA - Frustration that things do not seem to be moving as fast as you would like is probable. This is when it is important to count your blessings and look on the bright side of things, maybe it is just the wrong timing and something else has to be in place first. Use this time to peacefully reassess what you wish out of life and make a plan to accomplish just that. Socially work opportunities are likely to present themselves; there is an excuse for gallivanting on the town! Love may flourish under working conditions when a spark is ignited. SCORPIO - Taking control of a situation, your job, your love life, even your home is on the agenda. This month is all about taking action and putting structures in place to achieve success. Any old business that needs sorting out and lying to rest - then this is the month to do just that. Home improvements are likely and at the very least you will feel like re-decorating some part of the house. By the end of April golden opportunities present themselves on the job front. Romantically your patience with your love interest pays off, excitement, fun and happiness is in the air.
SAGITTARIUS - Listen to your gut instincts this month, they are likely to be ‘spot-on’. When it comes to what food to eat, where to go, who to see or what to wear then just give in to those first ideas, be spontaneous and it will work for you. It is all happening in your love life and intense, strong and deep interactions are likely, lifting your head into the clouds. There is a lot of pleasure to be had but do not neglect work obligations as they could catch up with you by the end of April if you have let them slide.
Previous good form had seen MALAGA rise to the 6th in the league and 23,000 home fans turned out to see lowly RECREATIVO HUELVA put to the sword. However, the away side had come to spoil the party and did exactly that with two second half goals (54 and 64 mins). Another RED CARD for MALAGA did not help the cause and a 2-0 home defeat was the result. MALAGA travelled next to GETAFE and a good response by the team saw a positive improvement with two first half goals (30 and 45mins). Late in the second half saw another RED CARD for MALAGA and from the resulting free kick GETAFE pulled a goal back (74mins). In the last 16 minutes the home side were also reduced to ten men and MALAGA held on for a 2-1 victory. Next up was a home match with 3rd placed arch rivals SEVILLA who were out for revenge for their home defeat by MALAGA.
It was a nervy affair for the 27,000 home fans and even though MALAGA took a two goal first half lead (18 and 32 mins) it was against the run of play. The away team dominated play and pulled a goal back on 74 minutes. Another RED CARD saw MALAGA stretched to the limit and with six minutes to go conceded the equaliser for a 2-2 draw. The Nou Camp was next and BARCELONA were in no mood for an upset, storming to victory 6-0! Goals from Xavi, Messi, Dani, Henry and a double from Eto’o completed the rout.
Malaga Fixtures: 05/04 Real Madrid (home), 12/04 Villarreal (away), 19/04 Mallorca (home), 22/04 Osasuna (away).
A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry what is your problem?" Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third -grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too! Ms Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Brooks he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. She agreed. Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test. Principal: "What is 3 x 3?" Harry: "9" Principal: "What is 6 x 6?" Harry: "36". And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at Ms Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the third-grade." Ms Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions?" The principal and Harry both agree. Ms Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of? Harry, after a moment: "Legs." Ms Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?" The principal wondered, why does she ask such a question! Harry replied: "Pockets." Ms Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?" Harry: "Pants" Ms Brooks: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid? Harry: Coconut The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry was taking charge.
Ms Brooks: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky? Harry: Bubblegum Ms Brooks: What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog do on three legs?" The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer; Harry: Shake hands Ms Brooks: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay? Harry: Yep. Ms Brooks: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do. Harry: Tent Ms Brooks: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. The Principal was looking restless and bit tense. Harry: Wedding Ring Ms Brooks: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good. Harry: Nose Ms Brooks: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver. Harry: Arrow Ms Brooks: What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement? Harry: Fire truck The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last ten questions wrong myself." And the not so smart!!
1. Who succeeded Lenin? 2. What is a golfers cry of warning? 3. What is the colour for mourning in Turkey? 4. Who saved Andromeda from a sea monster? 5. In which Italian city is The Bridge of Sighs? 6. What is MMM minus MD? 7. What kind of food is a kumquat? 8. What is the musical term for "with"? 9. What is Goldfingers first name? 10.Who was known as The Serpent of the Nile? 11. What is the heaviest organ in the body? 12. What is Adam’s Ale? 13. What does the m stand for in M People? 14. In which year were the Oscars first awarded? 15. What is the chemical symbol for lead? 16. Lord Baden Powell founded which movement? 17. How many bones are in the human body? 18. What is the square root of 64? 19. What is a group of leopards called? 20. How would 42 be written in Roman numerals? 21.What type of creature is a Russian Blue? 22. Which country has the longest land border in the world? 23. How many sides are there on a 20p piece? 24. Into which sea does the River Jordan flow? Answers on page 62
Make the following shape using 12 toothpicks. Now, move only 2 toothpicks, and make a figure with 7 squares.
There are five identical squares in this cross formed of 16 matchsticks. Move three matchsticks to get six identical squares. The matchstick's overlapping, breaking or "loose ends" are not allowed.
In marble walls as white as milk, Lined with skin as soft as silk, Within a fountain crystal clear, A golden apple does appear. No doors are there to this strongholdYet thieves break in and steal the gold. What am I?
Answers on page 62
ACROSS
DOWN
1 Type of painting (5,4) 8 Bellows (5) 10 Extraterrestrial (5) 12 Sever (3) 13 Man’s name (3) 14 Female sheep (4) 15 Core (6) 16 Recreation (5) 18 Mimicked (6) 20 Pitcher (4) 22 Owns (3) 23 Undergarment (3) 24 Slope (5) 25 Edible bulb (5) 26 Cruel (9)
2 Vestige (5) 3 Missing (4) 4 Chief (6) 5 Mild (5) 6 Leather container (9) 7 Lovely (9) 9 Eastern European (7) 11 Lamp (7) 15 Food fish (3) 17 Irritate (6) 19 Step (5) 21 Serves (5) 23 Basin (4)
Answers on page 62
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z Discover how to break a code: Every number in the codeword grid is 'code' for a letter of the alphabet. Thus the number '2' may correspond to the letter 'L', for instance. We have given you the first letter, S = 1 HINT: Letters not used: F, J, Q, V, X, Z
You’ve got a cheek! Last night, my Red Hat friends and I went to a Ladies Night Club. One of the girls wanted to impress the rest of us, so she pulled out a £10 note. When the male dancer came over to us, my friend licked the £10 note and stuck it to his bum cheek! Not to be outdone, another friend pulls out a £20 note. She called the guy back, licks the £20 note, and sticks it to his other bum cheek. In another attempt to impress the rest of us, my third friend pulls out a £50 note and calls the guy over, and licks the £50 note. I'm worried about the way things are going, but fortunately, she just stuck it to one of his bum cheeks again. My relief was short-lived. Seeing the way things are going, the guy races over to me. Now everyone's attention is focused on me, and the guy is egging me on to try to top the £50. My brain was churning as I reached for my wallet. What could I do?
The woman in me took over! I got out my ATM card, swiped it down the crack of his bum, grabbed the eighty quid, and left!!!! Sent in by Margaret De Boer Never argue with a Woman One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book. Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?' 'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?') 'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her. 'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading'. 'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and report you". 'For reading a book?' she replies.
You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her again. 'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading'. 'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and report you.' 'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman. 'But I haven't even touched you,' says the game warden. 'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.' A Good Lawyer One afternoon a wealthy lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man 'Why are you eating grass?' 'We don't have any money for food,' the poor man replied. 'Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you', the lawyer said. 'But sir, I have a wife and two children with
me.They are over there, under that tree'. 'Bring them along,' the lawyer replied.Turning to the other poor man he stated, 'You come with us also.' The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, 'But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!' 'Bring them all, as well,' the lawyer answered. They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was. Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, 'Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you.' The lawyer replied, 'Glad to do it. You'll really love my place; the grass is almost 1 metre high!' Lesson: Don't trust kind lawyers!! A Different Night time Prayer We’ve been letting our 6 yr old go to sleep listening to the radio and I’m beginning to wonder if it’s a good idea. Last night he said his prayers and wound up with: “And God bless Mommy and Daddy and Sister. Amen—and FM!”
ACCOMMODATION Accommodation.com 50,000 Cheap Hotels Online. www.accommodation.com
BED & BREAKFAST Casa 65 B&B, Heart of Andalucia. Weekend Breaks (Fri/Sat/Sun Nights) 120€ Includes Sunday Lunch Midweek Break (Mon/Tue/Wed/Thur) 120€ Prices or Per Room For 2. Tel: 953 570 089
CAR GUIDE Now available the 'import your own car guide' 69 euros. With this guide you will be able to re-register your own car yourself. No Gestor fees. No import duty to pay. For full details visit www.carimportinspain.com or call Chris on 606 554 048
CAR HIRE Rent a car 3000, delivery to & from airport / accommodation free of charge, Tel: 952 490 692, 639 682 081 Website: www.rentacar3000.com Email: info@rentacar3000.com
DRAIN SERVICES Euro drain services, cctv surveys, drain jetting, septic tanks, soakaway installations fast and efective. 24hr blocked drain clearance. Call Darren 629 640 754 all areas.
DRESSMAKER Alterations, curtains, soft furnishings & made to measure. 20 years experience. Tel: 952 758 577 (Tanya)
ELECTRICIANS 16th Edition BS7671 qualified, Apprentice trained, 21 years experience. Rewires, extra sockets, lights, fault finding etc. Pay as you go electric meters supplied and fitted, ideal for holiday lets, aircon etc. Ian: 650 151 569
FURNITURE Aquabeds, Tel: 952 112 563, 636 648 173 www.thesentinellamalaga.com/Aquabeds.html Email: mavis_spears@yahoo.co.uk Seconds R Us, Second Hand Furniture, Parque recinto ferial 7 (Feria Ground) Alhaurin el Grande. Tel: 952 112 563
HEALTH & BEAUTY Inner Yoga - Classes, meditation, retreats, therapies, healing. Alhaurín de la Torre. www.inner-yoga.co.uk info@inner-yoga.co.uk Tel: 952 649 266 / Mov: 663 179 518
INTERNET SERVICES Riosat SL, No landline required. Internet and telephone services. Some areas free installation. Covering Andalucia. Call 951 239 310 / 626 679 018 Email:info@riosat.com
Website:www.riosat.com
KIDDIE HIRE Buggies, car seats, travel cots, highchairs and more from as little as €1 per day. Based in Alhaurin el Grande. Can deliver. Tel: 600 609 129.
BOX IT IN !! FOR ONLY 95€ (12 ISSUES)
PLASTERER / BUILDER
VETERINARY SURGEONS
Specialist in ceilings, walls and floors. 25 Years experience. For price and advice, call Frank at Casabermeja. Tel: 618 597 364 Or Email: frankinesp@hotmail.com
BRITISH VETERINARY SURGEON Home visits at no extra cost . First and second opinion work, vaccines, Id chip, blood analysis etc. Consultations in the comfort of your own home. Tel: 652 302 985 Mr Wayne Hockenhull BVMS MRCVS
POOL & GARDEN MAINTENANCE CPS, Professional & reliable maintenance for your pool & garden. Tel: 699 244 822 / 686 438 925
VAN HIRE Man with Van & Trailer. € 20 p/h No job too small, Local & International. Call Dave 665 034 005 or 695 888 870
Reasons to Advertise: 1. Customers Forget We the customer forget without constant reminders. Each day a customer doesn't hear about your company is one more day they start hearing about your competitor. 2. Name Recognition When a customer thinks of a product whom do you want them to think of? It's pretty hard for them to immediately think of you if they don't see your name anywhere. 3. People often take their time when buying I often use a laptop when I travel and the time is coming for a new one. So I'll be shopping for that. Am I going out to buy it tomorrow? Probably not. I'll start watching the ads studying the available brands and assembling the features I need. I may not make the purchase for several months but when I do I will probably have a dealer in mind and they will get a shot at my business. 4. Customers move Studies show that 25% of your customers will move each year. 5. A portion of the market is always shopping. Did you notice the tyre ads in the paper
WEB DESIGN Web Design Malaga - Get your business a website from just € 150. Plus 6 months free web hosting. For details call Simon on 653 437 416 www.webdesignmalaga.es today? If you need tyres you did. If not you probably didn't give them a second glance. Not everyone is your customer every day. But each and every day there is a portion of the population that is looking for your product. And you need to be there when they are ready to start looking for that product.
Recession Advertising: Companies willing to raise their voices and continue advertising their wares in a depressed economy “will not only consolidate their existing position but will likely achieve a degree of dominance when the marketplace makes its inevitable recovery”. While consumers may stop buying during a recession, it doesn’t mean they stop listening. But if you keep your cool and maintain your advertising presence, when your competitors withdraw their voices from the marketplace your voice will be heard all the louder. To advertise in The Sentinella Malaga, call 951 707 452 / 692 421 487 or email info@thesentinellamalaga.com You can keep your name out there for as little as 5€ per month !!! Think about it...
EMERGENCY NUMBERS Emergency Ambulance Fire Brigade Local Police National Police Guardia Civil Helpline in English
112 061 080 092 091 062 902 102 112
HOSPITALS Carlos Haya Hospital Civil Hospital Maternity Hospital Costa del Sol Hospital Hospital Clinico Univ
951 030 100 951 030 300 951 030 200 952 102 112 952 649 400
Get Quizzical: 1) Stalin 2) Fore 3) Violet 4) Perseus 5) Venice 6) MD or 1,500 7) A small orange 8) Con 9) Auric 10) Cleopatra 11) The liver 12) Water
13) Manchester 14) 1929 15) PB 16) Scouts 17) 206 18) 8 19) A leap 20) XLII 21) Cat 22) China 23) 7 24) Black
Brain Benders:
MALAGA AIRPORT Information 952 048 771/952 048 484 Arrivals T2 952 048 844 Arrivals T1 952 048 845 Departures 952 048 804
TAXI Alhaurin de la Torre Alhaurin el Grande Benalmadena Coin Fuengirola Malaga Torremolinos
952 410 444 952 491 010 952 441 545 952 453 587 952 471 000 952 327 950 952 380 600
MARKETS DAYS Tuesday - Antequera, Fuengirola. Wednesday - Alhaurin de la Torre, Arroyo de la Miel, Saydo Hotel Mollina, La Cala de Mijas. Thursday - Alora Country Farmers Market (Los Caballos), Alhaurin el Grande - Feria, Pizarra, Torremolinos - Feria Ground. Friday - Arroyo de la Miel, Cartama Country Farmers Market, Mijas Costa. Saturday - Benalmadena - Los Porches, Coin, Fuengirola, La Cala de Mijas. Sunday - Benagalbon, Coin La Trocha, Estacion de Cartama, Fuengirola, Malaga next to the Stadium, Pizarra Car Boot, Torremolinos by Crocodile Park.
Brain Teasers: Back to square one, Breakfast, Downright stupid, Ready for anything
Riddle: An Egg Codeword: 1=S, 2=H, 3=B, 4=G, 5=N, 6=I, 7=W, 8=T, 9=P, 10=M, 11=Y, 12=C, 13=R, 14=D, 15=E, 16=U, 17=O, 18=L, 19=K, 20=A