A Taste of What’s Inside: Business Editorials 8. Oz-Zmoothies - Real fruit smoothies and NEW franchise opportunity. 10. Euroglaze - For all your glazing needs. 24. Deep Blue Pools - How to save money this summer. 50. DLS Fabrications - Welding engineers. Maps 18-19. 26-27. 36-37. 46-47. 56-57.
Fuengirola Alhaurin el Grande La Carihuela & Montemar Benalmadena Coin
76. Business Directory 75. Sentinella Print Shop
July Features 12. Around The World - Welcome to the Kingdom of Denmark 16. Food For Thought - Try our Veggie Burgers this summer 28. Latest News - Updates from Age Care and CHAIN Charities 42. Rosie’s Patch - Summer garden maintenance 48. Amazing Animals - The mighty Blue Whale 52. Horoscopes - Is it your lucky month? 66. A True Inspiration - Irena Sendler
Puzzles & Jokes 68-70. Puzzles 72-74. Jokes
Special Feature This month we celebrate the 4th of July with a few classics. 20. Bush Jokes 30. Book Report 44. Bushisms Cover Picture: ‘Iguana’ by Abi Holdom (cheers Abi)
steel bars up to 1cm in thickness, by prising open welding spots with his teeth. Burglar bites through steel bars Chinese Police who solved a spate of mystery burglaries were shocked to find the culprit was biting his way through steel window bars. "Through our investigations, we found the grids had been cut but with deep tooth prints," a local police spokesman said. Eventually, their inquiries led them to interview a man who revealed he was sharing a hotel room with a man who could crack walnuts with his teeth. Xiong, 23, confessed that he was behind the burglaries. He revealed that he had turned to crime after failing to find a job and could not even remember how many houses he had broken into over the last two years. He had found that he could chew open any
Sky rains tadpoles in Japan Residents and scientists in Japan have been baffled after it started raining tadpoles. Clouds of dead tadpoles appear to have fallen from the sky in a number of cities. The raining down of small creatures such as frogs and fish is a rare meteorological phenomenon that is reported from time to time across the world. Scientists have widely attributed the surreal raining of animals to strong winds, storms and water sprouts sucking up creatures before depositing them further inland. However, this explanation has not satisfied meteorologists in the Ishikawa region. Officials said that they were unsure how the tadpoles had arrived as there had been no reports of strong winds.
In The Spotlight: Oz-Zmoothies With Oz-Zmoothies you can PICK up that healthy habit and take it, share it, drink it, love it! Oz-Zmoothies is now offering fruit crush, ice tea, juices, frappes and smoothies in Fuengirola. The smoothies are bursting with good taste and nutrition, creamy, delicious drinks made with the best ingredients available on the market. - Real fruit smoothies mix with natural frozen yogurt - All natural ingredients - No preservatives - Low fat - Fill with vitamins and minerals - Delicious taste - Good to stop cravings or as a snack - Lactose free - Sugar free, we cater for individuals with sugar restrictions upon request.
Franchising: A fantastic new business opportunity is now available on the Costa del Sol. With a new form of franchising, OZ-Zmoothies will walk you through all the steps from the day you choose the space till the day you open for business. Come in and see us at our Fuengirola store at Av. Ramon y Cajal 52. Tel: 952 466 153.
In The Spotlight:
EuroGlaze Make EuroGlaze first choice for all your glazing needs. With over 25 years experience and the finest products money can buy, we specialize in the manufacture & installation of a variety of quality products. Our Glass Curtain system breaks down the traditional division between exterior and interior space. The benefits of this system include: • Utilization of your balcony/terrace all year round. • Noise Reduction. • No more wind, rain, dust or dirt. • Enjoyment of the winter sun all year round. • Easy Cleaning from inside. • Expansion of you living area. • Increasing the saleability of your home. It is a unique bottom running system which can be utilized with a flush bottom track for a seamless threshold. This stylish sliding system gives you unobstructed panoramic views while protecting you from the elements. Using advanced technology, innovative materials and quality stainless steel fittings, our glass curtain system is master crafted in elegant clean lines with a superb finish. With all our Glass Curtain projects we will only use 10mm toughened safety glass as standard and we offer all our clients a 10 year guarantee. Our product range includes: • Glass Curtains for interior or exterior separations. • Unique flying door and locking solutions. • Aluminium windows and doors. • Conservatories. Manufacturers of: • Double glazed sealed units. • Glass Cut to size. EuroGlaze continually rises to the challenge of producing high quality products to satisfy the most demanding customers. We have a solid and ever growing portfolio of discerning customers. Our company is well suited for forging sound, long standing supplier relationships with all its customers, whatever their specific needs. All trade enquiries are welcome.
Life Expectancy: 75 years (men), 79 years (women)
This month’s ‘Around The World’ takes us to the Kingdom of Denmark. Population: 5.5 million Total Area: 43,098.31 km2 (About the same size as The Netherlands and Switzerland). Location: Scandinavia Language: Danish Currency: Danish Krone Capital: Copenhagen / Kobenhavn Main Exports: Machinery, chemicals, equipment, and foodstuffs (the fifth largest exporter of food in the world). The most famous are Danish bacon & Lurpak. Lurpak butter is probably the best known brand of butter in the world. You can buy it in more then 100 countries.
Famous for inventing: LEGO, the very popular interlocking plastic toy. The LEGO toy company was founded by Ole Kirk Christiansen in 1932, but the company then sold mostly wooden toys. The word LEGO was formed from two Danish words, "LEg GOdt," which means "play well." More than 400 billion Lego bricks have been produced since 1958. There are about 62 Lego bricks per person of the Earth’s population. The current concept of atomic structure (the Bohr model) was invented by Niels Bohr, Denmark, 1913. Emil Christian Hansen - In 1877, he was employed at the Carlsberg Laboratory and discovered the propagation of pure yeast. The yeast is used in the production of lager beers, not just at Carlsberg but at many breweries the world over. Famous Danes: Writer Hans Christian
Andersen, whose fairy tales have been translated into more languages than any other book in the whole world (except of course the Bible). Lars Ulrich (One of the founders of Metallica) was born in Denmark. Famous for: Carlsberg and Tuborg (beer), Royal Copenhagen (porcelain), Danish masters are well known for their furniture design. Also widely known is Danish pastry, manufacturers Bang & Olufsen, Novo Nordisk (pharmaceuticals), SAS (the airline jointly owned by Norway, Sweden and Denmark), Dandy and Stimorol (chewing gum).
Interesting facts about Denmark: The Danish royal family is amongst the oldest uninterrupted monarchy in Europe. Denmark has one of the highest employment rates in Europe. Stroget in Copenhagen is one of the longest shopping streets in the whole of Europe. Copenhagen's Tivoli amusement park is one of the biggest & oldest in the world. After Walt Disney visited Tivoli he later decided to make something similar - Disneyland. Roskilde Music Festival is the biggest music event in Europe.
World firsts: Denmark was the first European country to abolish slavery on moral grounds.
The national flag of Denmark, known as the Dannebrog, claims to be the oldest country flag in the world, which is still in use.
In 1989 Denmark become the very first European country to legalize same-sex marriages and offer for gay partnership the same rights as for heterosexual couples.
Amazing but true: The Faroe Islands used to belong to Norway, until the King of Norway lost a drunken poker game with the King of Denmark!
Sri Lanka has the world's highest number of public holidays. Spinach has more iron per calorie than meat. If the genome was a book it would be the equivalent of about 800 dictionaries. Flies fly at an average of about 4 miles per hour. Tomato and lime are very good bleaching agents. Clinophobia is the fear of beds. There are 6374.6 miles of streets in New York City. The Pentagon has 17.5 miles of corridors. An F1 car is made up of about 80,000 components. Slugs have 4 noses. There is an island in Thailand named after James Bond. The average mosquito has 47 teeth. Garlic can be effective as a mosquito repellent. Lobster used to be poor people's food. Glaciers cover about 10% of the Earth's surface. Almost 90% of an iceberg is below water. Over 40% of the population in Alaska fish. Spanish is the first language in more than 20 countries. The longest recorded game of chess is 192 moves.
Chickpea Veggie Burgers How about trying these tasty vegetarian burgers on the BBQ this summer.
Ingredients: 2 1/2 cups cooked chickpeas (garbanzo) drained and rinsed 4 eggs 1/2 tsp salt 1 tbsp Sweet chilli sauce 1/3 cup chopped coriander 1 onion, finely chopped 1 cup sprouts, chopped 1 cup bread crumbs 1 tbsp olive oil
Method: Combine the chickpeas, eggs, and salt in a food processor. Puree until mix is thick and a little chunky. Pour into a mixing bowl and stir in the sweet
chilli sauce, coriander, onion and sprouts. Add breadcrumbs, stir then mould into twelve patties. Heat the oil in a frying pan and cook burgers on both sides until golden brown. Serve with avocado, grilled tomatoes and salad leaves. Makes about 10 burgers.
peppers,
Enjoy!
5 Passengers, 4 parachutes: A plane is about to crash. There are 5 passengers and 4 parachutes. The first passenger says, I am Ronaldo, the most famous football player in the world. I must survive. He takes a parachute and jumps. The second passenger says, I am Hillary Clinton, the future president of the United States. She takes a parachute and jumps. The third passenger says, I am George Bush, the current President of the United states, and the smartest president who ever was the president. He takes a parachute and jumps. The remaining passengers are a little boy and the Pope. The pope says, I have lived a long life, you are young. Take the parachute and jump to safety. The little boy says, there are enough parachutes left for both of us. The President of the United States took my school bag. Bush Presidential Library: There's a show on C-SPAN about presidential libraries. Here're what the draft plans for the George W. Bush Library now call for: The Alberto Gonzales Room - Where you can't remember any of the exhibits. The Hurricane Katrina Room - It's still under construction. The Texas Air National Guard Room Where you don't have to even show up. The Walter Reed Hospital Room - Where they don't let you in. The Guantanamo Bay Room - Where they don't let you out. The Weapons of Mass Destruction Room - Nobody has been able to find it. The War in Iraq Room - After you complete your first tour, they can force you to go back for your second and third and fourth and fifth tours. The K-Street Project Gift Shop - Where you can buy an election, or, if no one cares, steal one. The Men's Room - Where you could meet a Republican Senator (or two).
Take a look at these real names of famous musicians and it begins to make sense... Alice Cooper (Vincent Damon Furnier) Alicia Keys (Alicia Augello Cook) Billy Idol (William Michael Albert Broad) Billy Ocean (Leslie Charles) Bob Dylan (Robert Zimmerman) Bonnie Tyler (Gaynor Hopkins) Bono (Paul Hewson) Cat Stevens (Stephen Demetre Georgiou, later Yusuf Islam) Conway Twitty (Harold Jenkins) Coolio (Artis Ivey, Jr.) David Bowie (David Robert Jones) Dean Martin (Dino Crocetti) Dusty Springfield (Mary Isabel Catherine Bernadette O'Brien) Elton John (Reginald Kenneth Dwight) Elvis Costello (Declan Patrick Aloysius McManus) Eminem (Marshall Mathers III) Engelbert Humperdinck (Arnold Dorsey) Eric Clapton (Eric Clapp) Fatboy Slim (Quentin Cook, later Norman Cook) Flea (Michael Balzary) Freddie Mercury (Faroukh Bulsara) Gary Glitter (Paul Francis Gadd) Gene Simmons (Chaim Witz) John Denver (Henry John Deutschendorf, Jr.) Mariah Carey (Maria Nuez) Marilyn Manson (Brian Warner) Meat Loaf (Marvin Lee Aday) Pink (Alecia Moore) Richard Clapton (Terry Gonk) Ringo Starr (Richard Starkey) Shania Twain (Eileen Regina Edwards, later Eileen Regina Twain) Sid Vicious (John Simon Ritche; Later John Beverly) Snoop Dogg (Calvin Broadus) Stevie Wonder (Steveland Morris) The Notorious B.I.G. (Christopher Wallace) Tina Turner (Anna Mae Bullock) Vanilla Ice (Robert Van Winkle)
the roller - to prevent it from melting and fusing into a solid lump! Happily, they provide the sleeve with the cover.
PoolSchool - Keep it covered and save money! One of the best assistants for a pool owner is a pool cover. There are basically 2 types of manual cover; a Floating Solar Cover and a Winter/Leaf Cover and this time I’m going to concentrate on the floating type. Any type of poolcover will reduce chemical usage by reducing the amount of pollutants that enter the water, and will increase the swimming season (with or without a heater) by reducing heat losses associated with evaporation. A Floating Cover is b a s i c a l l y industrial-strength blue bubblewrap with attitude. The better, most cost-effective, types are UV-stabilised. All pool-covers are made from plastics and plastics eventually break down in strong sunlight. Floating covers must be used with a storage roller to prevent the bubbles on the underside of the cover being dragged across the deliberately rough surface of the pool surround which would reduce lifespan. The roller should be fitted with wheels so you can move it away from the pool when the cover is off the pool. 2 years ago we began installing Daisy Pool Covers, which are made in Spain from space-age Australian materials, and carry an astonishing 8 year guarantee! They are no dearer than the traditional cover but a life of 8 years makes them far cheaper overall. The manufacturers claim that the material is so efficient that the cover has to be protected with a white, reflective sleeve when it is on
This is how we make a Daisy Floating Poolcover: - We visit the pool and take accurate measurements. We then weld together a cover that is slightly larger than the pool and float it on the water. Then we take a pair of scissors, a sharp knife and a deep breath; and cut the cover exactly to size. We form the cover into the curves of the Roman End, leave cut-outs for ladder steps, etc., always complying with the Pool Industry Safety Guidelines. Next, we attach the cover to the roller, and set the system up. We then teach the client how to operate it correctly it to get the m a x i m u m life-span from the equipment. (Daisy covers don’t need to be edged - they’re welded together rather than being stitched - and are cut and fitted in one go). Most Floating Covers can be deployed and removed by one person in a couple of minutes. An automatic pool-cleaner can function beneath a floating pool cover. Please see our website with more information on Pool Covers and other pool-related items: www.deep-blue-pools.com/pool_covers.htm To receive our monthly email Pools Advice / Tips Newsletter - send an email with 'SUBSCRIBE' as the subject to newsletter@deep-blue-pools.com Copyright remains with Author.
Age Care Association helps British Residents Over the past year the Age Care Association has successfully helped various residents on the Costa del Sol. This help comes in many different forms. We can help to arrange nursing care, contact family back in the UK, liaise with Social Services in the UK if you want to return there, transportation to your local hospital for treatment, liaise with hospital authorities here in Spain. These are just a few of the ways in which Age Care Association offers assistance to those who need it, each case is judged on its merits and where possible a solution is found. Age Care Association can be contacted on the helpline on: 691 761 088 / 655 903 182 or through the website at www.agecarecosta.org. CHAIN & JK’s Summer Street Party – The Day After! The CHAIN Gang and JK’s would like to thank everyone who came along to the Summer Street Party on Sunday 7th June 2009. It seemed that most of Coin had turned out to enjoy the sunshine, drink, food and entertainment. The event raised €1500 towards the new “Vet in a Van” project from CHAIN which aims to buy a mobile vet unit for the Malaga Province. CHAIN supports many local animal charities and we know the pressure that they are under to re-home animals and raise funds to cover food, water, vet’s fees etc. Our vision is to fund a fully equipped, surgical vet van that will travel across the Malaga Province providing neutering and other vet services for animal charities and the local community. We need €20,000 to cover the cost of the purchase and initial operating costs. Kelly (Animal Adoption and Issues): 672 399 323 Bev (Vet in a Van Fundraising): 651 444 908 Wendy (PR): chaininspain@hotmail.com Web: www.chaininspain.com
Students at a local school were assigned to read 2 books, 'Titanic' and 'My Life' by Bill Clinton. One student turned in the following book report, With the proposition that they were nearly identical stories! His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report: Titanic.... Cost - $29.99 Clinton..... Cost - $29.99 Titanic..... Over 3 hours to read Clinton..... Over 3 hours to read Titanic..... The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe. Clinton.... The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe. Titanic.... Jack is a starving artist. Clinton...... Bill is a bullshit artist. Titanic.... In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar. Clinton.... Ditto for Bill. Titanic..... During the ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined. Clinton..... Ditto for Monica. Titanic..... Jack teaches Rose to spit. Clinton..... Let's not go there. Titanic..... Rose gets to keep her jewellery. Clinton.... Monica' s forced to return her gifts. Titanic..... Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen. Clinton..... Monica.. ooh, let's not go there, either. Titanic..... Jack surrenders to an icy death. Clinton... Bill goes home to Hillary - basically the same thing. Sent in by Robert from the Carihuela Carvery
Top Ten misspelt words: 1. Definitely 2. Sacrilegious 3. Indict 4. Manoeuvre 5. Bureaucracy 6. Broccoli 7. Phlegm 8. Prejudice 9. Consensus 10. Unnecessary ‘Definately’ mispelt: The most commonly misspelt word in English is 'definitely' with many of us incorrectly writing it as 'definately', says a recent study. More than 30% of those polled blamed text messaging for the mistakes while 42% think poor spellers are "thick". OnePoll.com, which polled 5,000 people, said: "Technology is contributing to our inability to spell." The Seven Natural Wonders of the World 1. Mount Everest 2. The Great Barrier Reef 3. The Grand Canyon 4. Victoria Falls 5. The Harbor of Rio de Janeiro 6. Paricutin Volcano 7. The Northern Lights The Seven Wonders of the Ancient World 1. The Great Pyramid of Giza 2. The Hanging Gardens of Babylon 3. The Temple of Artemis at Ephesus 4. The Statue of Zeus at Olympia 5. The Mausoleum at Halicarnassus 6. The Colossus of Rhodes 7. The Pharos of Alexandria The Official New 7 Wonders of the World 1. Chichen Itza 2. Christ Redeemer 3. Colosseum 4. Taj Mahal 5. Great Wall of China 6. Petra 7. Machu Picchu
GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED: 1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree. 2) Wrinkles don't hurt. 3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts. 4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground. 5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside. 6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy. GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD 1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. 2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get. 3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there. 4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once
got from a roller coaster. 5) its frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions. 6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. 7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone. THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE: 1) You believe in Santa Claus. 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus. 3) You are Santa Claus. 4) You look like Santa Claus. SUCCESS: At age 4 success is not piddling in your pants. At age 12 success is having friends. At age 17 success is having a driver’s license. At age 35 success is having money. At age 50 success is having money. At age 70 success is having a driver’s license. At age 75 success is having friends. At age 80 success is not piddling in your pants.
The important rules of English (strictly obeyed by The Sentinella) 1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects. 2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with. 3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction. 4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive. 5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat). 6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration. 7. Be more or less specific. 8. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies. 9. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous. 10. One should NEVER generalize. 11. Comparisons are as bad as cliches. 12. Don't use no double negatives. 13. One-word sentences? Eliminate. 14. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
15. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas. 16. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice. 17. Kill all exclamation points!!! 18. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them. 19. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth shaking ideas. 20. Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed. 21. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know." 22. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it co rrectly. 23. Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed. 24. Who needs rhetorical questions? 25. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement. And finally... 26. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
July brings the return of absentee gardener's for their summer visit with the challenge of maintaining their gardens and properties. So unless you are able to pay a gardener for the months you are not in Spain, special care needs to be taken that the design is simple and easy to maintain. When visiting the garden centre ensure you choose plants and trees which are drought tolerant and also look for trees which can be planted to create shade for the planting area around and below. As an alternative to lawns maybe consider areas of coloured chippings which are attractive and inexpensive, plus adding a variety of pots and ornaments achieving a relaxing area with easy maintenance. Having cleared the area, lay plastic underlay to the required shape and cover with the chippings. Formal bush and standard roses can be used in planting areas and climbing / rambling roses to cover walls, fences and gazebos.
The Mediterranean climate ensures a long growing and flowering season from Easter to Christmas so it is essential that roses are planted in a rich soil, mulched each year with goat manure if possible and pruned hard in January after enjoying roses at Christmas. Unfortunately the humid conditions in Spain can result in aphid and fungal attacks, therefore a regular spray with fungicide and insecticide is advised to remedy this problem. Finally continue to check the irrigation system regular in the weeks to come, hot blue skies look here to stay. Til next month....
Rosie
Our July 4th dedication has to finish with some final words of wisdom from the legend himself, George W. Junior. 'The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country.' 'If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.' 'One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.' 'I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future.' 'The future will be better tomorrow.' 'We're going to have the best educated American people in the world.' 'I stand by all the misstatements that I've made.' 'We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe ' 'Public speaking is very easy.' 'A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.' 'I have opinions of my own - strong opinions - but I don't always agree with them.' 'We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.' 'For NASA, space is still a high priority.' 'Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children.' 'It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.'
Wow! These beasts of the deep are BIG! The Blue Whale is this months amazing animal. These mega mammals are about 30 metres long and can tip the scales at over 150 tonnes. A blue whale’s heart alone weighs as much as a car and its tail can be the same width as the wings on a small aeroplane. Blue whales are thought to love to be about 110 years old. Blue whales are found in all the oceans of the world. They often feed in the Polar Regions in spring and summer and head for the warmer waters of the equator in the autumn. Blue whales have no known predators except man. Even before it is born, a baby whale grows at
an astonishing rate in its mother’s womb – 1,000 times faster than a human baby. A new born calf will put on as much as 90 kilograms a day. Blue whales may be big, but they feed on tiny organisms called krill. They can get through four tones in a day, that’s the same as eating an elephant! The call of the blue whale is the loudest of any animal. It’s how they communicate with each other over hundreds of miles. Our ears can’t hear them because they make such a low pitched rumble. In the early 20th century, the estimated total kill of blue whales was 350,000 animals, and by the 1960’s they were on the brink of extinction. Blue whales tend to live in pods (groups) of two to three individuals, although groups of 60 or more have been seen.
A blue whale’s “blow” can reach as high as 30 feet!
In The Spotlight: DLS. Fabrications - Welding engineers DLS Fabrications have been on the Costa del Sol for many years fabricating, installing security doors, windows grilles and all wrought iron works including spiral staircases, handrails, fencing & scissor gates etc.
We can also construct our own piers for the hanging of swing or sliding gates (block and render or face finish). DLS are situated in the Mijas area but cover the whole of the coast from Nerja to Gibralter and all in-land areas. All our staff are English spoken with many years of experience in welding, burning and cutting of all materials in and out of the workshop. DLS also have the facilities to fabricate any door or grille to match existing iron works including scrolls, cast iron ornate features (square or round) and all matching spikes. All our products are zinc undercoated (anti rust proof) and top coated in the colour of your choice, matt or gloss finish. For a free estimate please contact Lloyd on 952 590 651 / 649 696 453 or e-mail dlsfabrications@gmail.com. Please note this summer (July & August) we have special rates for O.A.P’s.
CAPRICORN - Someone may be quite demanding and you will have to put your foot down with a firm hand. Trust your gut instincts when it comes to new relationships, if you are in an existing one, then a new beginning literally transforms the partnership taking it to a new level. You are decisive this month and have incredible stamina, you may find yourself re-committing to something or someone. A personal revelation occurs around 8th when your emotions are in a heightened state and this may leave you in a state of complete surprise. AQUARIUS - A career decision or changes in work or health routines are all in the picture and this may be causing you a bit of stress. It is a time to be adaptable and work around what is being offered to you, instead of digging your heels in, which just won’t work. A discovery that changes the way you view things occurs on 14th leaving you in no doubt as to the course your path should take. You just want to play and have romance in your life, in reality you don’t really want to work, but needs must, perhaps treat yourself to a weekend away instead. PISCES - Tests in the areas of your love, home and work are likely now, paving the way for new beginnings. Although the salmon is adept at swimming upstream, it would be nice to just float with the current for once, and the news is you will have a chance to do that. By 7th July your imaginings could become reality and by the end of the month it will feel as though lady luck is on your side. The way ahead is clearer and you will know what needs to be done to ensure stability in the future. The amount of people living in your house could increase this month.
ARIES - There are changes afoot for you this month on the personal and career fronts; you will be getting a taster of what is to come and the kind of things you need to do in preparation. The stumbling block within you is that a change in career is probably the last thing on your mind, so you have to overcome your resistance to charging full steam ahead, maybe indulge in the sun and get that out of your system first, then you won’t feel as though you have missed out. By 14th July everything you touch seems to turn to gold.
TAURUS - This is an intense and emotional month for you, it is as if you are sulking or brooding over something, perhaps you are jealous? Something is eating you up and this issue has been bothering you for a while, in fact so much so you probably can’t remember how it all began, you have locked it away for so long. Break out of your normal routine do something a bit risky – the break from the ‘norm’ will do you good. There is an opportunity to source an extra income but there is a tendency to spend just as quickly what you are earning. GEMINI -
There is an increased focus upon finances and fulfilling financial obligations. There could be slight turbulence in the area of shared resources such as loans, taxes or income and you will spend time in securing your position. You could find yourself becoming increasingly concerned about the welfare of others within your immediate vicinity and become involved in some sort of community project. Others just seem to follow your lead at the moment, hanging on your every word to sort problems out. Your personal magnetism is at an all time high attracting others to you.
CANCER - This is a month for taking it one day at a time and one step at a time, you could feel plagued with indecision and this is because your mind is just too full of unanswered questions. Catch up with old friends and you will have a fabulous time, romance may blossom around 7th and you could literally be swept off your feet. This month brings tests, surprises, revelations and an increased drive and desire to take control of your own life. There are big personal changes taking place, so make sure you have adequate time alone to recharge. LEO - This is the time to rid yourself of guilt about under performing or not paying your family enough attention and the way to do this of course is to put it all right. Take the time out to spend with loved ones they will really appreciate it. Recreating goals after 21st July so that you can forge ahead at a faster pace is probable. Love sizzles towards the end of July. Work may come to you through who you know, not necessarily what you know – so make sure you get socialising and networking and the doors will fly open.
VIRGO - You are in demand this July, everyone wants to be with you and it can all get a little hectic, with you not knowing with who you should be with and at what time. This can make you feel a little restless but regardless of all your popularity you actually manage to achieve a personal goal by 25th. Your ability to network and find out information is second to none and this can catch the attention of a certain admirer. As the month begins you could find yourself a bit emotional due to dramas over the past few weeks but it all settles down by 7th. LIBRA -
The key to getting what you want this month is to be generous, any sign of clinging to what you own may leave you empty handed. It is like you need to ‘give wisely’ to ‘get’. This is not only materialistically speaking but emotionally too. Be clear about what you want at the moment and it is likely you will get it if you adopt this approach. There could be a change in career or a change in the job that you are doing due to personal responsibilities on the home front. You only have so much energy and you may need to re-address the balance so that it suits your constitution.
SCORPIO - There is nothing you can’t do if you put your mind to it, everything is going your way and you are well able to steer the ship in whatever direction you chose. Others will probably not dare oppose you as your intensity, charm confidence and good looks are a powerful combination. Intimate matters are hot, don’t read between the lines, make sure you are upfront about what you think another is feeling and smouldering, summer days lie ahead. From 5th there are financial opportunities that you may take another up on.
SAGITTARIUS - Confidence exudes out of every pore in your body and you will take enormous pleasure in any outdoor activities and celebrations, becoming the centre of attention, wherever you may be. There could be differences of opinion with a loved one around mid July but compromises, debates and negotiations soon make you realise that you can still find common ground. Changes in income are likely and your finances will be under review spurring you on to take tighter control on spending practices.
7. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. Here are some tips to help maintain a healthy level of insanity.
8. Specify that your drive-thru order is 'to go'. 9. Sing along at the Opera.
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down. 2. Page yourself over the Intercom. Don't disguise your voice. 3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. 4. Put Decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has got over their caffeine addictions, switch to Espresso. 5. On all your cheque stubs, Marijuana.'
write
'for
6. Skip down the street rather than walk and see how many looks you get.
10. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you have a headache. 11. When the money comes out the ATM, scream 'I Won! I Won!' 12. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the car park, yelling 'run for your lives! They're loose!' 13. Tell your children over dinner, 'due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.' And finally... 14. Pick up a box of condoms at the pharmacy, go to the counter and ask where the fitting room is.
Queen Isabella of Spain - first woman to appear on a US postage stamp (1893). Firsts... Everything that there is to do in the world must have been done by someone first, right? Well, here's a list of brave people, some of whom quite clearly were the David Blaines of their era. James Cook - first person to cross the Antarctic Circle (1773). Marquis d'Arlandes and Pilatre de Rozier first humans to fly (1783). They were airborne in a hot air balloon for 20 minutes in Paris on Nov 21. Count de Grisley - first magician to perform the trick of sawing a woman in half (1799). Glad I wasn't her! Charles Blondin - first man to cross Niagara Falls on a tightrope, 160ft above the waterfall (1824).
Annie Taylor - first woman to go over Niagara Falls in a barrel. She was aged 64 years at the time (1901). Marie, Cecile, Yvonne, Emilie and Annette Dionne - first quintuplets to survive infancy. They were born near Callender, Ontario, to Oliva and Elzire Dionne (1934). Patricia McCormick - first professional woman bullfighter (1952) - she killed two bulls in the contest, which was held in Ciudad Juarez, Mexico. Louise Brown - first test tube baby. (Lancastershire, England, 1978). Dolly, the lamb - first cloned mammal (1996) Elizabeth Ann Oliver - first woman to have her baby's birth broadcast live over the Internet (1998).
The Darwin Awards salute the improvement of the human genome by honoring those who accidentally remove themselves from it... Or in the following cases, the “near misses�: Zany New Zealand Contest 1999 Honorable Mention, confirmed True by Darwin. (7 June 1999, New Zealand) A computer technician trainee set his own penis a flame in a successful attempt to win $NZ500 cash and an equal bar tab. Thomas stapled his penis to a white crucifix, poured cigarette lighter fluid over it, and set it on fire in his bid to win a controversial "How Far Will You Go?" promotion for Trader McKendry's Tavern in Christchurch. The event, sponsored by New Zealand Breweries, encouraged patrons to compete for the most lewd act. Thomas walked away with the top prize, which he used for car registration, a warrant of fitness, and registration for his bloodhound Puss. He obtained free medical treatment for his bruised and burned penis at a student clinic, He says his member "was a wee bit tender the next day," but after two weeks he has almost recovered, and expresses no regrets about his actions. The prize winner claims he is no masochist. "I'm a student so every bit helps. It was worth the money, and it's all better now. I thought my act was unbeatable.' He intends to use the bar tab to buy burgers and pies every day for lunch. Thomas' mother Barbara, who was in the audience, was pleased her son won. "He is a grown man and I'm relieved that he won. I would have hated for someone to go through all that and not achieve the object of it all."
Hot Buns 2009 Honorable Mention, confirmed True by Darwin. (February 2009, Sweden) Welcome to Sweden. Home of Swedish massage, Swedish cuckoos, and one Swedish meatball who decided to warm himself in an industrial strength oven. The incident took place in freezing February at a facility operated by Ballingslav, a maker of kitchen and bathroom cabinets and fixtures. The heating system in the loading area had ceased to function, leaving a shivering truck driver defenseless against the frigid winter. Looking to escape the cold, the driver wandered over to the shrink-wrap oven and asked the operator if he could take a spin on the conveyor belt to get warm. Although the driver was freezing his umlaut off, the operator hard-heartedly, if sensibly, denied the man's request. Undaunted, the driver waited until no one was looking, and managed to hoist himself onto the conveyor belt for a blissfully toasty ride. But all those Swedish meatballs had taken their toll. The massive trucker was too heavy for the belt and the motor shut down, leaving him stuck in the 360-degree oven. Luckily, the alert oven operator noticed the stoppage and was able to drag the man out of the searing heat before he sustained serious injuries, except for an industrial strength tan. Following the incident, Sweden's Work Environment Authority asked that the oven operator be given counseling to work through the shock he suffered rescuing the truck driver. In addition, the agency intends to carry out a risk assessment of the surveillance around the shrink ovens. Apparently they are too tempting to leave unguarded. Common sense can be shrink-wrapped too.
many times as the government deems appropriate. 10 Downing Street London SW1 Dear people of the United Kingdom, Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of the economy, your Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers 50 years of age and older on early retirement.. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early). Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the government to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as
Only persons who have been RAPED can get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). Obviously, persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the government. Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on, will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The government has always prided itself in the amount of SHIT it gives out. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your local MP. They have been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle. Sent in by William McNamee
This month we honour a true inspiration, Irena Sendler, a social worker and humanitarian from Poland. Irena Sendler was a Polish Catholic social worker who served in the Polish Underground and the Żegota resistance organization in German-occupied Warsaw during World War II. Assisted by some two dozen other Żegota members, Sendler saved 2,500 Jewish children by smuggling them out of the Warsaw Ghetto, providing them false documents, and sheltering them in individual and group children's homes outside the Ghetto. Sendler's story was brought to light in the United States when students in Kansas found it described in a magazine and popularized it through their original play Life in a Jar. World War II During the German occupation of Poland, Sendler lived in Warsaw. As early as 1939, when the Germans invaded Poland, she began aiding Jews. She and her helpers created over 3,000 false documents to help Jewish families, prior to joining the organized Żegota resistance and the children's division. Helping Jews was very risky - in Germanoccupied Poland, all household members risked death if they were found to be hiding Jews, a more severe punishment than in other occupied European countries. In December 1942 the newly created Żegota (the Council to Aid Jews) nominated her (by her cover name Jolanta) to head its children's section. As an employee of the Social Welfare Department, she had a special permit to enter the Warsaw Ghetto to check for signs of typhus, something the Nazis feared would spread beyond the Ghetto. During these visits, she wore a Star of David as a sign of solidarity with the Jewish people and so as not to call attention to herself. She cooperated with the Children's Section of the Municipal Administration, linked with the RGO (Central Welfare Council), a Polish relief organization that was tolerated under German supervision. She organized the smuggling of Jewish children out of the Ghetto, carrying them out in boxes, suitcases and trolleys.
Under the pretext of conducting inspections of sanitary conditions during a typhoid outbreak, Sendler visited the Ghetto and smuggled out babies and small children in ambulances and trams, sometimes disguising them as packages. She also used the old courthouse at the edge of the Warsaw Ghetto (still standing) as one of the main routes for smuggling out children. She hid lists of their names in jars in order to keep track of their original and new identities. Żegota assured the children that, when the war was over, they would be returned to Jewish relatives. In 1943 Sendler was arrested by the Gestapo, severely tortured, and sentenced to death. Żegota saved her by bribing German guards on the way to her execution. She was left in the woods, unconscious and with broken arms and legs. She was listed on public bulletin boards as among those executed. For the remainder of the war, she lived in hiding, but continued her work for the Jewish children. After the war, she dug up the jars containing the children's identities and attempted to find the children and return them to their parents. However, almost all of their parents had been killed at the ‘Treblinka’ extermination camp or had gone missing otherwise. In 2007 considerable publicity accompanied Sendler's nomination for the Nobel Peace Prize. While failed nominations for the award have not been officially announced by the Nobel organization for 50 years, the International Peace Research Institute, Oslo, reported in 2007 that Irena Sendler's nominator had made the nomination public. Regardless of its legitimacy, talk of the nomination focused a spotlight on Sendler and her wartime achievements. The 2007 award instead went to Al Gore, a former Vice President of the United States, and the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, for a slide show on Global Warming.
GOD BLESS HER May she rest in Peace. (15 February 1910 – 12 May 2008)
1. In which continent is the mountain system of the Andes? 2. Which Russian statesman's original surname was Ulyanov? 3. On which river does Chepstow stand? 4. In which year was John F Kennedy elected President of the USA? 5. Who leads the prayers in a mosque? 6. Which bone of the ear is also called the incus? 7. Who was the German composer of Water Music? 8. Who wrote The Canterbury Tales? 9. The Dead Sea lies between which two countries? 10. In Greek Mythology who was the lover of Leander? 11. In which year did Malta become independent? 12. Who wrote the operetta The Gondoliers? 13. Which chess piece can only move diagonally? 14. Which republic occupies the western part of the Island of Hispaniola? 15. Christiana is the former name of which European Capital City? 16. In which country is El Alemein? 17. Who was the wife of King Ahab in the Old Testament? 18. Which two aviators made the first non-stop flight across the Atlantic Ocean? 19. What is otalgia better known as? 20. Which bird is the international symbol of happiness? 21. What do climbers call a peak higher than 914m (3,000 ft)? 22. Who was the captain of the Pequod in Moby Dick? 23. What type of pastry is used to make eclairs? 24. What is the chemical symbol for silver? 25. What is the Hawaiian word of greeting? 26. What is the golfer's cry of warning?
Answers on page 78
Find the words that fit. Example: 60 = S in a M Figure out what the "S" and "M" stand for. Answer: 60 Seconds in a Minute 1) 90 = D in a R A 2) 200 = D [P in uk] for P G in M 3) 32 = P to the C 4) 3 = B M (S H T R) 5) 4 = Q in a G 6) 24 = H in a D 7) 1 = W on a U 8) 57 = H V 9) 11 = P on a F B T 10) 1000 = W that a P is W
1. What travels the world but stays in a corner? 2. Whoever makes it, tells it not. Whoever takes it, knows it not and whoever knows it, wants it not? 3. Who can shave 25 times a day and still have a beard?
Answers on page 78
ACROSS 1 Talent (4) 4 Hold (4) 6 Style (4) 8 Sun (4) 11 Canvas shelter (4) 13 Ideal (7) 14 Very warm (3) 16 Horseman (5) 18 Blemish (5) 21 Looks after (5) 22 Senior (5) 24 Female deer (3) 25 Acetic acid (7) 28 Phase (4) 30 Character (4) 31 Region (4) 32 Chess piece (4) 33 Object of worship (4)
DOWN 1 Struggle to breathe (4) 2 Phobia (4) 3 Engine (5) 4 Information (3) 5 Harbour (4) 7 Tough fibre (5) 9 Military parade (6) 10 Fanatical (5) 12 At that time (4) 15 Trauma (6) 17 Restaurant client (5) 19 Beers (4) 20 At no time (5) 23 Mature (5) 24 Fall (4) 26 Precious metal (4) 27 Genuine (4) 29 Brown (3) Answers on page 78
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z Discover how to break a code: Every number in the codeword grid is 'code' for a letter of the alphabet. Thus the number '2' may correspond to the letter 'L', for instance. We have given you the first letter, 1 = E HINT: Letters not used: F,J,K,Q,W,Z
The Itch Once upon a time lived a beautiful Queen with large breasts. Nick the Dragon Slayer obsessed over the Queen for this reason. He knew that the penalty for his desire would be death should he try to touch them, but he had to try. One day Nick revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the Physician, the King's chief doctor. Horatio thought about this and said that he could arrange for Nick to more than satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1000 gold coins to arrange it. Without pause Nick readily agreed to the scheme. The next day, Horatio made a batch of itching powder and poured a little bit into the Queen's bra while she bathed. Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense. Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Horatio informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests
had shown that only the saliva of Nick would work as the antidote to cure the itch. The King, eager to help his Queen, quickly summoned Nick to their chambers. Horatio then slipped Nick the antidote for the itching powder, which he put into his mouth, and for the next four hours, Nick worked passionately on the Queen's large and magnificent breasts. The Queen's itching was eventually relieved, and Nick left satisfied and hailed as a hero. Upon returning to his chamber, Nick found Horatio demanding his payment of 1,000 gold coins. With his obsession now satisfied, Nick couldn't have cared less and, knowing that Horatio could never report this matter to the King, and with a laugh told him to get lost. The next day, Horatio slipped a massive dose of the same itching powder into the King's underwear. The King immediately summoned Nick. The moral of the story............ Pay your bills! Sent in by William McNamee
Parenting A little girl walks in to the lounge one Sunday morning while her Dad is reading the paper. "Daddy, where does poo come from?" she asks. The father feeling a little perturbed that his 5 year old daughter is already asking difficult questions thinks for a moment and says: "Well you know we just ate breakfast?" "Yes," answers the girl. "Well the food we eat goes into our tummies and our bodies break down the food with strong acid, then we take out all the good stuff, and then whatever is left over comes out of our bottoms when we go to the toilet and that is poo." The little girl looks shocked, and stares at him with watery eyes in stunned silence for a few seconds, her bottom lip quivering, then she asks: "And Tigger?" Sent in by Trish (Precious Moments)
The Three Bears Baby bear goes downstairs, sits in his small chair at the table..
He looks into his small bowl. It is empty. 'Who's been eating my porridge?' he squeaks. Daddy Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl and it is also empty. 'Who's been eating my porridge?!?' he roars. Mummy Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and yells, ‘For God's sake, how many times do I have to go through this with you idiots? It was Mummy Bear who got up first. It was Mummy Bear who woke everyone in the house. It was Mummy Bear who made the coffee. It was Mummy Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night and put everything away. It was Mummy Bear who swept the floor in the kitchen.. It was Mummy Bear who went out in the cold early morning air to fetch The newspaper and croissants. It was Mummy Bear who set the damn table.’ ‘It was Mummy Bear who walked the bloody dog, cleaned the cat's litter tray, gave them their food, and refilled their water.’ ‘And now that you've decided to drag your sorry bear-asses downstairs and grace
Mummy Bear with your grumpy presence, listen carefully, because I'm only going to say this once....’ ‘I HAVEN'T MADE THE F@%*$#@ PORRIDGE YET!’ Some more oldies.... Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?' Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.' 'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?' 'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.' Three old guys are out walking. First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?' Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'
Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer.' A man was telling his neighbour, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand pounds, but its state of the art. It's perfect.' 'Really,' answered the neighbour. 'What kind is it?' 'Twelve thirty.' A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy: 'So I hear you're getting married?' 'Yep!' 'Do I know her?' 'Nope!' 'This woman, is she good looking?' 'Not really.' 'Is she a good cook?' 'Naw, she can't cook too well.' 'Does she have lots of money?' 'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.' 'Well, then, is she good in bed?' 'I don't know.' 'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?' 'Because she can still drive!'
ACCOMMODATION Accommodation.com 50,000 Cheap Hotels Online. www.accommodation.com
BED & BREAKFAST Casa 65 B&B, Heart of Andalucia. Weekend Breaks (Fri/Sat/Sun Nights) 120€ Includes Sunday Lunch Midweek Break (Mon/Tue/Wed/Thur) 120€ Prices or Per Room For 2. Tel: 953 570 089
BUILDER General Building Reforms:
Security, Equestrian, Commercial & Domestic Fencing, Perimeter & Swimming Pool Alarms, Groundworks, Painting, Blockwork, Carports, Guttering & Drainage Services www.1calljmt.com
Tel: 617 172 583 / 617 148 311
1
CAR GUIDE Now available the 'import your own car guide' 69 euros. With this guide you will be able to re-register your own car yourself. No Gestor fees. No import duty to pay. For full details visit www.carimportinspain.com or call Chris on 606 554 048
CAR HIRE Rent a car 3000, delivery to & from airport / accommodation free of charge, Tel: 952 490 692, 639 682 081 Website: www.rentacar3000.com Email: info@rentacar3000.com
ELECTRICIANS 16th Edition BS7671 qualified, Apprentice trained, 21 years experience. Rewires, extra sockets, lights, fault finding etc. Pay as you go electric meters supplied and fitted, ideal for holiday lets, aircon etc.
Ian: 650 151 569 FURNITURE Aquabeds, Tel: 952 112 563, 636 648 173 www.thesentinellamalaga.com/Aquabeds.html Email: mavis_spears@yahoo.co.uk Seconds R Us, Second Hand Furniture, Parque recinto ferial 7 (Feria Ground) Alhaurin el Grande. Tel: 952 112 563
HEALTH & BEAUTY Inner Yoga - Classes, meditation, retreats, therapies, healing. Alhaurín de la Torre. www.inner-yoga.co.uk info@inner-yoga.co.uk Tel: 952 649 266 / Mov: 663 179 518
HORSERIDING Rancho del Rio - Estacion de Cartama. Treks, riding lessons for beginners & advanced riders, trail rides and special needs catered for. Tel: 952 426 074 Mob: 659 696 535 www.horseridingandalucia.com
INTERNET SERVICES Riosat SL, No landline required. Internet and telephone services. Some areas free installation. Covering Andalucia. Call 951 239 310 / 626 679 018 Email:info@riosat.com
DRAIN SERVICES Euro drain services, cctv surveys, drain jetting, septic tanks, soakaway installations fast and efective. 24hr blocked drain clearance. Call Darren 629 640 754 all areas.
Website:www.riosat.com
KIDDIE HIRE Buggies, car seats, travel cots, highchairs and more from as little as €1 per day. Based in Alhaurin el Grande. Can deliver. Tel: 600 609 129.
PLASTERER / BUILDER
VETERINARY SURGEONS
Specialist in ceilings, walls and floors. 25 Years experience. For price and advice, call Frank at Casabermeja. Tel: 618 597 364 Or Email: frankinesp@hotmail.com
BRITISH VETERINARY SURGEON Home visits at no extra cost . First and second opinion work, vaccines, Id chip, blood analysis etc. Consultations in the comfort of your own home. Tel: 652 302 985 Mr Wayne Hockenhull BVMS MRCVS
VAN HIRE Man with Van & Trailer. € 20 p/h No job too small, Local & International. Call Dave 665 034 005 or 695 888 870
BOX IT IN FOR ONLY 95€ (12 ISSUES) All our advertisers are placed on our Online Business Directory
WEB DESIGN Web Design Malaga - Get your business a website from just € 150. Plus 6 months free web hosting. For details call Simon on 653 437 416 www.webdesignmalaga.es
EMERGENCY NUMBERS Emergency Ambulance Fire Brigade Local Police National Police Guardia Civil Helpline in English
112 061 080 092 091 062 902 102 112
HOSPITALS Carlos Haya Hospital Civil Hospital Maternity Hospital Costa del Sol Hospital Hospital Clinico Univ
951 030 100 951 030 300 951 030 200 952 102 112 952 649 400
MALAGA AIRPORT Information 952 048 771/952 048 484 Arrivals T2 952 048 844 Arrivals T1 952 048 845 Departures 952 048 804
TAXI Alhaurin de la Torre Alhaurin el Grande Benalmadena Coin Fuengirola Malaga Torremolinos
952 410 444 952 491 010 952 441 545 952 453 587 952 471 000 952 327 950 952 380 600
MARKETS DAYS Tuesday - Antequera, Fuengirola. Wednesday - Alhaurin de la Torre, Arroyo de la Miel, Saydo Hotel Mollina, La Cala de Mijas. Thursday - Alora Country Farmers Market (Los Caballos), Alhaurin el Grande - Feria, Pizarra, Torremolinos - Feria Ground. Friday - Arroyo de la Miel, Cartama Country Farmers Market, Mijas Costa. Saturday - Benalmadena - Los Porches, Coin, Fuengirola, La Cala de Mijas. Sunday - Benagalbon, Coin La Trocha, Estacion de Cartama, Fuengirola, Malaga next to the Stadium, Pizarra Car Boot, Torremolinos by Crocodile Park.
Get Quizzical: 13. Bishop 1. South America 14. Haiti 2. Vladimir Ilyich Lenin 15. Oslo, Norway 3) The river Wye 16. Egypt 4) November 8, 1960 17. Jezebel 5. 'Imam' 18. Alcock and Brown 6. Ossicle 19. Earache 7. George Frideric 20. Dove Handel 21. A munro 8. Geoffrey Chaucer 22. Ahab 9. Israeil and Jordan 23. Choux Pastry 10. Hero 24. Ag 11. 1964 25. Aloha 12.Gilbert and Sullivan 26. Fore Brain Benders: 1) Degrees in a Right Angle 2) Dollars/Pounds for Passing Go in Monopoly 3) Points to the Compass 4) Blind Mice (See How They Run) 5) Quarts in a Gallon 6) Hours in a Day 7) Wheels on a Unicycle 8) Heinz Variety 9) Players on a FootBall Team 10) Words that a Picture is Worth Brain Teasers: A cut above the rest
Cross countryt
Flat tyre
Hitting below the beltk
Riddle: 1. A stamp 2. Counterfeit Notes 3. A barber Codeword: 1=E, 2=H, 3=C, 4=O, 5=Y, 6=R, 7=S, 8=A, 9=L, 10=N, 11=M, 12=R, 13=T, 14=D, 15=I, 16=X, 17=V, 18=U, 19=P, 20=G