The Sentinella Malaga September 2011 Issue 54

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Federal joyride: A Ferrari F50 stolen from a Pennsylvania dealer was found five years later -- and taken into evidence by the FBI in Kentucky.

car fishtailed and slid sideways up onto the curb." The car, one of only 50 in the country and worth $750,000, was totaled. The insurer is suing the government, but the U.S. Justice Department says it has no liability in the case, because the car was "in the hands of law enforcement," and won't release any information on the case other than the e-mail detailing the car's destruction. (AC/AP) ... Federal agents, like teenagers, are clearly too irresponsible to drive with passengers. Live news reporting can be a crap job:

While in their custody, explained Assistant U.S. Attorney J.Hamilton Thompson in an e-mail to the dealer's insurer, FBI agent Fred Kingston, who was moving the car, invited him on a "short ride." Short is right. "Just a few seconds after we left the parking lot," Thompson wrote, "we went around a curve and the rear of the car began sliding. The agent tried to regain control but the

It's a dirty job - and no one should have to do it. Fox weather reporter Tucker Barnes gets covered in sewage reporting on Hurricane Irene Tucker Barnes of the Fox affiliate in Washington, D.C. made what is destined to be one of the most famous live shots in history Saturday standing in Ocean, Md. as Hurricane Irene covered him what he thought was "plankton or something." It wasn't. It was raw sewage.

"I don't know what it is, it has a sort of sandy consistency," Barnes told Fox's New York viewers, covered head to tow in what looked like frothy pancake batter. "It doesn't taste great," he said. Back in his warm and dry station, the MyFoxNY anchor mused, "We've never seen anything like it." Barnes, struggling to hold onto a boardwalk bench, said he hadn't either. "Our chief meterologist back at the station said that it's some sort of organic matter. I guess it's plankton or something mixed in with sand and salt," he said. "I can tell you first hand that it doesn't smell great. It feels kind of soapy." "Be careful with that weird stuff, okay?" the anchor told him as the WTTG-TV reporter signed off. "That is a bizarre wild substance that is about to bury you." MyFoxNY reported later that the mystery foam was raw sewage pouring into the sea and being whipped into a froth by the hurricane's winds.



PINK

Positively

Positively Pink (charity no G92860477) the registered Breast Cancer charity based in Mijas Costa Have you booked your FREE breast screening??? Positively Pink in conjunction with Medilink and its preferred partners are offering a Gold standard screening programme completely free of charge to all British women aged 18 plus who live on the Costa del Sol.. Please Ladies take advantage of this amazing offer..... This years Campaign runs until the end of October, limited places left so please call now......Remember that "Prevention and Early detection is your best protection" Call Clinica Medicare Now on 952 835 776 to make an appointment Appointments will be available at Clinica Medicare in La Cala until the end of October 2011 in conjunction with a local radiology clinic. Dr Deardon and the Medicare Nurse Practitioner are donating their expertise and time to the programme free of charge. The initial consultation and examination will take place on Tuesdays and Thursday afternoons and appointments can be made by calling the clinic on 952 835 776. This is a gold standard screening programme that includes a full medical history, examination and breast awareness education followed by the appropriate mammogram or ultrasound which will be facilitated by Clinica Radiologia in Fuengirola. All results will be given in English.

Calling all bars, businesses etc... Table football World cup. In aid of Positively pink in October The Lost Bar in Fuengirola in Conjunction with the Sentinella are proposing to hold a Table football world cup with profits going to the charity 32 teams can take part ( 2 a side ) Contact Kevin on 633 244 599 or Hazel & Gary at the lost bar 646 913 917 for an application form, Places are limited so book your place early

Fundraising Hog Roast, Auction and Raffle Playa Miraflores Seaview Bar & Eaterie, in conjunction with Fiona Pink, will be holdingthis event and will have entertainers from around the coast appearing to keep you dancing the night away whilst raising money for Positively Pink Breast Cancer Charity. Starting at 7.30pm with Cava Cocktail and Canapes on arrival. TWO acts confirmed - Michelle Silver as Marilyn Monroe & Gilly Jackson, Jazz Queen of Marbella One major prize of a holiday pledged, a 1970's 'signed' Leeds United shirt in frame, plus numerous 'raffle prizes' already donated!! This will be a great evening on TWO fronts to raise a large sum of money for Positively Pink and to have a great night of food & entertainment!! Please BOOK your table on 952 934 840 Tickets 25 euros with 10 euros being donated to the chosen charity Positively Pink Charity Presents The Annual Pink Ball 06 October ¡ 19:30 - 22:30 El Oceano Beach Hotel Miraflores Playa Costa del Sol Raising Money For Breast Cancer! Enjoy a top class evening with a fabulous menu, open bar and great live entertainment, for an all inclusive 95â‚Ź per person. The more money that is raised at the Pink Ball, the more ladies can be screened for breast cancer next summer! You can also help by donating a prize for the raffle or auction. If you cannot attend the charity event, simply donate cash to the Positively Pink Charity. All donations are greatly received! http://www.positivelypink.es/ http://oceanohotel.com/



ensure that you have not withheld a “material fact”, by failing to disclose a pre-existing medical condition which has caused you to make the claim.

Travel Insurance cover for people with Pre-Existing Medical Conditions We receive far more enquiries about pre-existing medical conditions than any other particular aspect of Travel Insurance, so we have decided to devote an entire article to this important subject. Obviously, anyone irrespective of age can suffer from some ailment which can vary from fairly mild to extremely serious. No matter how long you have had this condition and whether or not it affects your daily routine, it is a “material fact” that a travel insurer needs to know when assessing a quotation. If because of illness you have to cancel a pre-booked holiday, if you become ill whilst on holiday, if you have to return home early, or if you need to be repatriated, you would usually claim these costs from your travel insurance policy. When dealing with your claim, the insurer may ask your GP for details of your medical history to

So what do Travel Insurers consider to be a pre-existing medical condition? Well, that depends upon the acceptance terms of the particular insurer. But here is guidance on how Globelink International has tried to make this easier to understand and hopefully reassure their clients about how a claim would be dealt with. You can either accept that the policy will not cover you for claims related to that particular condition, or you can speak to Globelink’s Medical Screening Service who may or may not agree to include additional cover for an extra premium depending upon their assessment of the additional risk. Any respiratory or heart condition, stroke, crohn’s disease, epilepsy, or cancer for which you have ever received treatment including tests, investigations or treatment by your doctor or a consultant specialist and prescribed drugs or medication. Any medical condition for which you have received surgery, in-patient treatment or investigation in a hospital or clinic within the last 12 months.


Any medical condition for which you are taking prescribed drugs or medication. Globelink have a long list of “Non Screen” conditions which are automatically covered without the need to contact the medical screening service, including High Blood Pressure, High Cholesterol, Asthma, Diabetes provided you have no related complications. A complete list of “non screen” conditions and details of how to contact the Medical Screening Service is available by visiting www.globelink.co.uk and clicking on “Existing Medical Conditions” If you have any questions about Travel Insurance in general or Globelink policies in particular, please send them by email to us at info@globelink.co.uk and we will do our best to provide the answers. Visit www.globelink.co.uk get a quote instantly and arrange cover securely online. Your travel insurance Policy and Emergency Assistance Card will be delivered to you immediately by email. Cover for people living in Spain and all other EU Countries. Call our UK office on +44 1353 699 082 or our Spanish link line on 96 626 5000


Bosnia & Herzegovinia ( part one ) Population :(July 2009 est) 4,613,414 Area: 19,741 sq mi (51,209 sq km) Capital City: Sarajevo Languages: Bosnian, Croatian, Serbian Religion: Muslim, Orthodox, Roman Catholic Currency: Marka (BAM) Bosnia and Herzegovina, Bosnia, is a sovereign state in Southern Europe, on the Balkan Peninsula. Bordered by Croatia to the north, west and south, Serbia to the east, and Montenegro to the southeast, Bosnia and Herzegovina is almost landlocked, except for 26 km (16 miles) of Adriatic Sea coastline, centered on the town of Neum.The interior of the country is mountainous centrally and to the south, hilly in the northwest, and flatland in the northeast. Inland is the larger geographic region with a moderate continental climate, marked by hot summers and cold, snowy winters. The southern tip of the country has a Mediterranean Climate. The country is home to three ethnic groups, or so-called "constituent peoples", a term unique for

Bosnia-Herzegovina. Bosniaks are the largest group of the three, with Serbs second and Croats third. Regardless of ethnicity, a citizen of Bosnia and Herzegovina is often identified in English as a Bosnian. Formerly one of the six federal units constituting the Socialist Federal Republic of Yugoslavia, Bosnia gained its independence during the Yugoslav Wars of the 1990s. Pre-Slavic Period (until 958) Bosnia has been inhabited since at least the Neolithic age. The earliest Neolithic population became known as the Illyrians. Conflict between the Illyrians and Romans started in 229BC, but Rome would not complete its annexation of the region until AD9. Medieval Bosnia (958–1463) The Slavs arrival brought with them a tribal social structure which gave way to Feudalism in the late 9th century. It was also around this time that the Illyrians were Christianized. The principalities of Serbia and Croatia split control of Bosnia and Herzegovina in the 9th and 10th century, but by the High Middle Ages the area was contested between the Kingdom of Hungary and the Byzantine Empire. Ottoman Era (1463–1878) The Ottoman conquest of Bosnia marked a new era in the country's history. The Ottomans allowed for the preservation of Bosnia's identity by incorporating it



as an integral province of the Ottoman Empire with its historical name and territorial integrity, three centuries of Ottoman rule also had a drastic impact on Bosnia's population , A native Slavic-speaking Muslim community emerged and a number of cities, such as Sarajevo and Mostar, were established and grew into regional centers of trade and urban culture. By the late 17th century the Empire's military misfortunes caught up with the country, and the conclusion of the Great Turkish War with the treaty of Karlowitz in 1699 once again made Bosnia the Empire's westernmost province. Later agrarian unrest eventually sparked the Herzegovinian rebellion, a widespread peasant uprising, in 1875. The conflict rapidly spread and came to involve several Balkan states and Great Powers, a situation which eventually led to the Congress of Berlin and the treaty of Berlin in 1878. Austro-Hungarian rule (1878–1918) At the Congress of Berlin in 1878, the AustroHungarains obtained the right to station garrisons in the Sanjak of Novi Pazar, which remained under Ottoman administration. Within three years of formal occupation of Bosnia Herzegovina, AustroHungary, in 1881, obtained German, and more importantly, Russian, approval for the annexation of these provinces, A bloody coup occurred in Serbia, on June 10, 1903, which brought a radical anti-Austrian government into power in the southern state run

from Belgrade. Attemps to unify with Russia or Europe to solve the problem caused civil unrest , culminating on 28 June 1914, when Serb nationalist youth Gavrilo Princip assassinated the heir to the Austro-Hungarian throne, Archduke Franz Ferdinand, in Sarajevo – an event that proved to be the spark that set off World War 1 Kingdom of Yugoslavia (1918–1941) Following the war, Bosnia and Herzegovina joined the South Slav kingdom of Serbs, Croats and Slovenes (soon renamed Yugoslavia). Initially the states remained as they were in Ottaman times preserving Bosnias borders and lands but the establishment of the Kingdom of Yugoslavia in 1929, brought the redrawing of administrative regions into banates that purposely avoided all historical and ethnic lines, removing any trace of a Bosnian entity. Serbo-Croat tensions over the structuring of the Yugoslav state continued, with the concept of a separate Bosnian division receiving little or no consideration. The famous Cvetković-Maček Agreement in 1939 encouraged what was essentially a partition of Bosnia between Croatia and Serbia. However, outside political circumstances forced Yugoslav politicians to shift their attention to the rising threat posed by Adolf Hitler's Nazi Germany. Following a period that saw attempts at appeasement, the signing of the Tripartite Treaty, and a coup d'état, Yugoslavia was finally invaded by Germany on 6 April 1941. ( Continued next month )



The Frying Scotsman The only real fish and chip shop in Benalmรกdena Are you missing one essential item for maximum enjoyment of your evening out? Look no further than the Frying Scotsman ( just off Bonanza square in Benalmรกdena Costa). Finish your evening with traditional style with award winning Fish and chips. Or how about a pie, a burger or something else from the extensive menu? It is all cooked before your very eyes. Try the secret recipe southern fried chicken, add complementary favourites such as mushy peas, curry sauce, haggis, white or black pudding, kebabs and scotch pies.

Everything is of the highest quality and is freshly cooked to order. You can eat inside or on the covered terrace, take it home wrapped, or eat out of the newspaper in the traditional way, on your way home. In a hurry, don't want to wait? Telephone your order in advance Enjoy a drink with your meal, they have beer, wine, spirits & soft drinks available to drink on the premises Telephone orders 952 567 368 Bonanza Square (opposite Jupiter Apartments) Go on, you know you want to.



by Jan Morley Wholemeal cheese and spinach pasties The inspiration for this recipe came from a beautiful book by Claudia Roden, “A New Book of Middle Eastern Food “, a truly interesting insight into the mysteries of Eastern Mediterranean Cuisine. One of the earliest references to pasties was by a Persian poet, by the name of Abu Ishaq of Shiraz, in a book called Kanju’l Ishtiha ,(Treasure of the Appetite), when he wrote “We came into the kitchen for this purpose , that we might show the fried meat to the pastry. “ We now know that other delightful fillings have been “shown the pastry “, such as cheese, spinach, eggs , aubergines , chicken , nuts and of course meat, usually minced lamb. The pastry can be one of many varieties, filo, flaky pastry, wholemeal or even bread dough, all work well with the same fillings. You may recognise some of the names, sambusak, pasteles, brik, spanako-pitta, they come in various shapes and sizes, half-moons, triangles, small ones make ideal appetizers, and the larger ones for main courses and picnics. Ingredients (serves 4): For the Wholemeal and Thyme pastry, you will need 110g plain flour 110g wholemeal flour A pinch of salt 55g lard, or vegetable fat, such as Crisp and Dry 55g butter 1 tablespoon chopped fresh thyme Iced water to mix Method: Sift the flours together with the salt, into a large bowl, add the bran left in the sieve Dip the fats into the flour, to coat, and then coarsely grate into the flour, mix in with a blunt knife, stir in the thyme Add the water a little at a time until it binds together, knead to a firm dough, Leave to rest wrapped in cling film in the fridge for 20 minutes

Whilst the pastry is chilling,prepare the filling Ingredients for filling 500g fresh baby spinach 1 large onion finely chopped Olive oil for sautéing 1 tablespoon butter 120g strong flavoured cheese, grated, such as Mature Cheddar, 1 egg Grated fresh nutmeg Salt and Pepper Method: Remove the stalks from the spinach, chop and rinse in cold water Heat the butter and a little olive oil in a large frying pan, stir in a little grated nutmeg, salt and pepper, remove when wilted, 2-3 minutes Allow to cool, squeeze out any extra juices and then stir in the grated cheese and the beaten egg Roll out the pastry, cut into 5cm squares, place a spoonful of filling in each, brush with beaten egg, fold into a triangle, pinch the edges to keep the filling in, Cook at 200 deg C , 400 deg F, Gas 6, for 25 to 30 minutes, until golden underneath

Enjoy!





Budapest- Any cynics claiming McLaren’s German win last weekend was a one-off were forced to eat their words. Jenson Button ran riot in Budapest, making the most of his eminently quick MP4-26 and the changeable conditions to score an outstanding victory on his 200th Grand Prix start. Championship leader Sebastian Vettel could only manage second for Red Bull and even that might have been difficult had Lewis Hamilton in the sister McLaren not been caught out by a sharp shower - and a penalty from the stewardsFor much of the race a McLaren one-two seemed likely, with Hamilton leading Button home. But first the former elected for another set of super-soft Pirellis on his Lap 40 pit stop, whereas Button and the Red Bull drivers went for softs which would get them home without a further pit call. Then, as it began to rain, Hamilton spun on Lap 47. The two of them then battled until Hamilton stopped for intermediates on Lap 52. Button refused a similar invitation, and it proved the right call. Hamilton pitted again within two laps for softs, then got a drive-through for causing di Resta to take avoiding action as he recovered from his spin. That dropped him to fifth but he repassed Webber to take fourth. Button, however, showed the improvement in the McLaren MP4-26 with a dominant and beautifully judged victory in his 200th Grand Prix.Red Bull were beaten again. Vettel led from pole but couldn’t keep Hamilton at bay by Lap five, then got jumped by Button in the first pit stops. He tried to keep the silver cars in sight, but later on minor brake problems prevented an all-out challenge in a race he still believes they could have won. Webber admitted that a similar call for intermediates when the rain came back around Lap 50 was his own mistake, and had to be content with fifth.Ferrari lost a huge amount of ground when both Alonso and Massa were very slow exiting Turn One at the start and got jumped by the Mercedes duo. Later, having passed them, Alonso lost more time trapped behind Webber. A four-stop strategy helped to overcome poor performance in the third sector which negated the value of DRS, and put him on to the final podium step, while a spin on Lap Eight cost Massa dear and left him to trail home sixth. Belgium- Red Bull are on the back foot, with McLaren and Ferrari favourites to dominate from here on in. That was the prediction of many a pundit heading to Spa after the summer break. How wrong they were. Despite starting the race on blistered tyres amid set-up uncertainties, Vettel losing the lead on lap one and Webber making a disastrous getaway, the men from Milton Keynes were not to be denied as they battled their way to a triumphant one-two in Belgium, further cementing their considerable championship advantage.Pirelli and the FIA refused to acquiesce to Red Bull’s request for some more front tyres after the blistering that they encountered after hard use in qualifying, but the team from Milton Keynes had the last laugh with some excellent management of the tyre situation in the race. Others looked strong in the early going, but after Hamilton crashed on lap 13 Vettel was in easy command and sped home to a thoroughly satisfying victory, his 7th of the season. Webber had another anti-stall disaster at the start, for the second year in succession, but an early switch from the soft tyre to the medium gave him a stable platform from which to attack Alonso, whom he passed after 37 laps to make it a resounding Red Bull one-two just when it was least expected. McLaren went into the race expecting to have the fastest car, but low straight-line speed immediately indicated that they had too much downforce relative to Red Bull, Ferrari and Mercedes. Hamilton led as others pitted early, but was in himself on the 10th lap and then crashed heavily at Les Combes when he misjudged Kobayashi’s track position. Button, meanwhile, got savaged by a Force India at the start, damaging a rear wing endplate, then had his front wing damaged by debris. The latter was replaced in his lap 3 pit stop, when he dropped the medium tyre for the option, and thereafter he moved up quickly. In the closing stages he hunted down Alonso to snatch the final podium place. His overall feeling was, he said however, what might have been, had there not been the snafu in qualifying and that first-lap damage. Alonso was a podium contender while the Ferrari ran on the soft Pirellis, but could not hack it on the mediums. In the early stages he had great duels with Webber, Hamilton and Massa, but in the latter stages he was easy meat for the Australian and Button as the 150° Italia simply doesn’t generate sufficient tyre temperature in relatively cool conditions. Massa ran strongly initially, but ran into similar problems and lost his chance of a decent result when the left rear tyre picked up a late puncture.

Race calender 13 FORMULA 1 GRAN PREMIO SANTANDER D'ITALIA 2011 (Monza) 09 - 11 Sep 14 2011 FORMULA 1 SINGTEL SINGAPORE GRAND PRIX (Singapore) 23 - 25 Sep 15 2011 FORMULA 1 JAPANESE GRAND PRIX (Suzuka) 07 - 09 Oct 16 2011 FORMULA 1 KOREAN GRAND PRIX (Yeongam) 14 - 16 Oct11



HOW TO MAKE YOUR GOLF BETTER! TITLEIST, the biggest producer of golf balls, producing 1.5 mill / day has a section named ”Titleist Performance Institute.” TPI – has the biggest collection of golf specific health and exercise information, based on golf experts and tour players experience and knowledge, some of this info they share with you on the web site MyTPI.com RIGHT SEQUENCE A correct cinematic sequence meaning right movement of the pelvis- upper body – arms and club are absolutely a must for the optimal result. Motion and power patterns is very much like a four-stage rocket, were the power of every stage in the sequence is carried over to the following. If you are in anyway physically hindered resulting in a lack of full motion, strength, balance or coordination, your body will try to compensate with a very unstable result. REDUCED INJURY The risk of inducing pain, overload or injuries is eminent and guaranteed is that they will come, sooner or later. Titleist have come to understand this and have therefore developed a process called “Screening”, where the movement of the joints is measured in degrees. You also do additional testing of muscle strength and balance among other things. AUTHORISED TITLEIST INSTRUCTOR As an authorised Titlest instructor, I am proficient to do this “screening”, thus being able to tell you with a large degree of accuracy - and this without ever having to see you play one ball – if you have a problem with your ”swing”, resulting in a slide, sway, casting, reverse spine angel, hanging back. The “Screening” is best combined with a video recording of your swing, this to easier illustrate what needs to bee corrected. I can facilitate you with the right exercise plan training instructions and if needed treatment. This to improve your ability to get the right sequence, guaranteeing improvement to your golf swing and limit the risk of injuries. Call Rolf Martinsen: 952 476 504 Clinica Physiospain



PROSTATE CANCER. Should I be concerned? Modern men are becoming increasingly aware of male health issues. It is important to remember that whilst prostate cancer affects 1 in 12 men during their lifetime, 6 times more men (1 in 2) will develop simple benign (non cancerous) enlargement of their prostate during their life. Consequently most men who experience urinary symptoms will have benign prostate enlargement rather than cancer. What can go wrong with the Prostate Gland? The most common problems of the prostate are benign (non-cancerous) enlargement, inflammation and infection. Cancer is relatively infrequent when compared to these other conditions. Unfortunately however the symptoms of benign prostate enlargement and cancer can be very similar. This is why medical professionals are keen to check all patients with symptoms such as a poor urinary stream, dribbling at the end of urination, the need to pass urine more frequently, an inability to wait or hold on to urine (urgency)), poor bladder emptying, and a need to get up at night to pass urine (nocturia). Many men suffer these symptoms without realizing that they can be alleviated or cured. To complicate things, not all men with an enlarged or diseased prostate will have symptoms. Conversely, patients with an inflamed prostate or prostatic infection tend to experience some of the above symptoms, plus burning or pain at the base of the bladder during urination, and patients with these symptoms should seek medical advice. What are the symptoms and risk factors of prostate cancer? There are no specific diagnostic symptoms associated with prostate cancer however symptoms such as frequent visits to the toilet, getting up at night to pass urine, rushing to get to the toilet (and a period of pause before starting to urinate), having a slow flow of urine and dribbling at the end are all associated with prostate enlargement. Furthermore, a family history of prostate cancer increases an individual’s risk of developing prostate cancer so patients with a positive family history should seek medical advice. The disease is also more common in smokers.

What is a Prostate Specific Antigen (PSA) test? PSA is a protein produced by the prostate gland the level of which is measured by a blood test. It is a non specific test and its use is therefore controversial, however it is useful in directing medical professionals to look more closely at the prostate and telling them which treatments may benefit patients with benign prostate disease or prostate cancer. It can also be used to monitor treatment for prostate cancer. A raised PSA should prompt further investigation into the prostate gland and if present, will help them detect prostate cancer at an early stage, often before any other symptoms develop. It must be remembered however that not all men with a raised PSA level will have prostate cancer. A raised PSA level can be due to many non cancerous causes, such as increasing age, benign prostate enlargement, urinary tract infection, perineal trauma (for example distance cycling on a regular basis), sexual intercourse and bladder investigation (cystoscopy), therefore as a test on its own, PSA is not diagnostic and a raised PSA level does not necessarily mean that you have prostate cancer. The Specialist Medical Clinic, Gibraltar is a Preferred Partner of “medilink” offering a diverse range of clinics covering most specialties. For more information on SMC or any of our other Preferred Partners call “medilink” on 952 93 38 76





The Family of Sound are enrolling, make new friends, learn new skills broaden your horrizons Join them now. Calling all Drama Queens and Kings Enrolling new members this September First summer class will be 2nd Wednesday in Sepetember 5.30pm till 7.30pm Existing members and New. 8 - 18 yrs And Now ...Calling all young Drama Queens and Kings The Family of Sound Drama group are opening their doors to a younger set of Children from this September 2011. We will now be teaching basic drama & movement to the next generation. 4 - 7 years olds Enrolling in September ready to start in October these classes will be every Thursday 5.30pm till 7.30pm Places are being limited due to the young age of the children The monthy fee is still only 25 euros (cheeper than a child minder) Who are we ? The family of Sound are a group of talented children and adults from a variety of backgrounds. The one thing we do have in common is the love of singing and acting, talent is always useful, however enthusiasm works wonders in the world of show biz. We teach you how to warm up your voice correctly, how to keep intime and reach that note, we teach how to project your voice on stage and deliver lines convincingly. Most of all we show you how just letting your imagaination play in drama class whilst making new friends can be so much fun. The group perform to small and large audiences everything from little sketches to full blown Pantomines and Musicals !I would like to welcome all parents, families and friends to our weekly classes and I hope that you and your child will find it a happy place. We are always glad to see parents in classes and appreciate all your help and support. Our intention is that we work in partnership to help our children to grow up to be people who are committed to creative values, and passionate about their learning. Anyone who saw the Cinderella Panto last Feb, or who came to see Oliver Wth a Twist on the 19th of June must agree that our kids stand out above the rest. if you are interested in more details please visit the website www.familyofsound.es or contact Sandie on 952 490 003.



Honouring those who improve the species.... by accidently removing themselves from it! or almost! Natural Selection Spanks-2011 Darwin Award Nominee (Confirmed True by Darwin) 15 May 2011, Brisbane, Australia | Planking! What is it? 'Planking' is the peculiar wit and skill of lying flat as a plank in unusual locations--train tracks, fire hydrants, clotheslines, motorcycles--and posting public photographs for all to admire. This Australian craze had infected poor, poor Mr. Acton B., a Brisbane resident and former planking enthusiast, who was not (yet) aware that Balconies Are the Number One Cause of Gravity-Related Darwin Awards. Not knowing, he was doomed to repeat the lesson. Planking is nothing without a photograph. For the camera, the 20-year-old stretched himself out face-down on the railing, arms by his sides, stiff as a plank, balanced on the fine line between fun... and done. Natural Selection nudged him over the line, and he fell seven stories to his death. Blessedly he was not naked. Fool's Gold- 2009 Darwin Award Nominee (Confirmed True by Darwin)

(5 February 2009, India) Bachelor lottery agent Pravin Kuse lived with his brother's family in Vasai. His own house, an abandoned 100-year-old building, was located a few meters away. Some legends hold that a pot of gold lies buried at the end of the rainbow, but Pravin learned in a dream that an ancient pot of gold was actually buried beneath his house. He decided to follow his dream and dig for that gold. He kept his plans private, to avoid a fight over the fortune. The dream told him to dig beneath the staircase so after lunch, every day without fail, Pravin would take his spade and dig a little deeper beneath the stairs. The neighbors had no idea that days and nights of digging had resulted in a fifteen-foot deep tunnel. The innovative gold-digger had even rigged a remote-control toy car to carry a flashlight to assist him in the dark. He was smart enough to control his lighting needs, but not smart enough to take into account the water table. One day the 32-year-old lottery agent did not return home, and his worried relatives lodged a missing persons report. Police discovered that the floor of the old house had caved in. The soil beneath the staircase becomes wet at a depth of 15 feet due to its proximity to the sea, and the unsupported walls of the tunnel had collapsed. A few hours later an earthmover had excavated Pravin's body from the debris, along with a spade and the innovative mobile flashlight. The lottery agent's number... was up



Sacked Cheryl Worried about her future Cheryl Cole 'feeling foolish' because Tulisa a hit as her replacement on The X Factor Singer Cheryl Cole fears she’ll fade into oblivion as The X Factor proves a success without her Cheryl Cole was sacked form US X Factor in May With Tulisa Contostavlos and Kelly Rowland proving a hit on the UK X Factor, Cheryl Cole, 28, now fears she'll soon be forgotten by the public. 'She's feeling pretty foolish because it's obvious she played the situation wrong Tulisa's a hit as her replacement and that's hard to bear,' reveals Now's source. 'The camaraderie of doing The X Factor was always a morale booster, but that's all history for Cheryl now.' With The X Factor attracting a peak of 12.6 million viewers for the first show this season, Cheryl's at an all-time low. Our source adds: ‘Cheryl's been hiding out, waiting for all the X Factor hype to settle down. 'It's tough, but she's come through times like these before.' Kelly Rowland’s X Factor contestants to be given tough 'military' regime The former Destiny’s Child singer will ban junk food and introduce tough workouts. The contestants Kelly Rowland mentors this year will be subject to the toughest health and fitness regime The X Factor has ever seen. It hasn't yet been announced which judge will take on which category, but Kelly is rumoured to be looking after the girls and is said to be planning military-style workouts and a ban on fast food. She'll introduce her toughening-up timetable at the Judges' Houses stage of the competition. ‘Kelly wants to encourage her acts to get into the best possible shape for the show and behave like professionals right from the off,' says a source. ‘She wants to keep a close eye on what they're eating, too, so she will be advising them on nutrition. There won't be any fast food snacking in Kelly's camp.' Kelly, 30, one of the founding members of Destiny's Child, spent her teenage years in bootcamps organised by Beyonce's father Matthew Knowles. ‘Kelly will teach by example and plans to show her girls how to behave like a true star,' the source tells The Mirror, 'even it comes to deciding what to eat.'

ls Jennifer Aniston getting baby ready after quitting smoking and drinking? Jennifer Aniston appears to have gained a little weight, besotted with her new man Justin Theroux she has ditched the fags and booze and they have recently moved in together So is Jen getting ready for the patter of tiny feet? Jen watchers have been keeping their fingers crossed for a happy ending ever since she hooked up with actor Justin Theroux in May. Now there are several telltale signs that they're on the fast-track to parenthood. Speculation began when Jen, 42, avoided alcohol at a boozy party for Ellen DeGeneres and Portia De Rossi's third wedding anniversary two weeks ago. Pals confirmed that she's quit drinking resisting alcohol on her recent Hawaiian getaway with Justin, 40 - and smoking. She's been known to smoke a pack a day in the past. Fellow guests at their hotel also reported that yoga-mad Jen was sleeping in on holiday instead of going out on runs with Justin, skipping breakfast and emerging at noon in her robe ‘looking ill'. Friends have added that Jen told them she was feeling nauseous. ‘We've noticed she's gained a little weight,' reveals our source. so it could be that she already has some news or that she's trying to get her body baby ready.'



FREE!! ‘ POOL CHECK’ FREE!! This popular shop situated at the entrance to Urbanisation Doña Pilar, just off the main road going up to Mijas Pueblo has been open since 1999 and caring for the pools of the expatriate community since 1985. They offer a great service for novice pool owners – just call in to the shop with a small sample of your pool water and they will test it for FREE and give advice on how to get your pool in tip top condition. The shop stocks all of the chemicals and equipment you need to maintain a pool and so much more. They have a huge range of pool toys ,games and pool loungers. Most parts and fittings are stocked and anything they don´t have can be ordered . LEAKS? They have specialist leak detecting equipment to pinpoint the problem

whichcosts 70€ & IVA per hour ( In most case they are able to find the leak within an hour .) You will then receive a written report and the cost to rectify the problem. There are several ways to check a leak first – just call at the office and they will advise you of what you need to do. If you are in need of repairs and renovations they will happily come out and give you a free costing of any work - from a dripping pipe to a complete poolrenovation . New pool constructions are guaranteed for 10 years and Splash have full liability insurances for all work carried out. On completion of a new pool or a complete renovation they maintain the pool FREE of charge for 1 month– to ensure everything is working well . Directions : Take the road from Fuengirola to Mijas Pubelo then turn in at the Restaurant Valparaiso – the shop is on the left at the entrance to the urbanisation.

Call: 952 591 053


TAPAS Autumn and Winter Season 2011 Members of TAPAS - The Andalucia Performing Arts Society - are back from their summer break and getting ready for their next productions at Los Arcos, nr Alhaurin el Grande. Following the sell out success of last year's Murder Mystery play another is to be staged on October 22nd and rehearsals are under way. Written by Chris Martin 'Who Killed the Vicar?' is "murder-mystery meets Father Ted as preparations for the annual Summer Fayre bring mayhem and murder to the picturesque village of Steeply Willows!!" If you enjoy a little sleuthing, along with a meal and a lot of fun, then make sure you call the Box Office in good time to book your seats.

This year's Pantomime production for December is 'Cinders: The True Story' by David Tristram, with Hairy Godmother, Ugly Sisters, Prince, Cinderella and all the usual pantomime characters and chorus. The show is directed by Leroy Lingwood with musical direction by Jane Busby and promises to be a fantastic evening's entertainment. Performances are on 9th, 10th & 11th December. In between the rehearsing there is still time for fun! There's a Quiz Night on September 24th, a Beer Fest for members and personal guests on October 9th and the TAPAS Choir are singing at the Harvest Festival in the Cemetery Church, Alhaurin el Grande on October 2nd. If you are interested in becoming a member of TAPAS or would like to learn more about shows and events please visit the TAPAS website - www.tapassociety.com Remember to call the Box Office on 635 293 714 to reserve tickets for the Murder Mystery Evening and Pantomime.


EBONY -- ONE LUCKY BLACK CAT Many people know ,that although we are not a rescue centre Bill and I often save cats and kittens from the local pounds ( killing stations ! ) thanks in part to the kind people who sponsored Bill´s "Gift of Life run" last February.These poor creatures await certain death if not found a home within an alloted time. Two weeks ago we found a good home for two little sisters which we had been with us for five months, so having some free space again we went to the pound to save some more, I didn´t ask why they only had two cats there ( although sadly I can imagine ) one was a little ginger female and other an ugly duckling little black girl .We knew she had been a street cat as she had her ear cut, which is a sign of having been spayed and put back on the street, she was also very sweet and frantically ran to you if you made the slightest sign of giving food, which comes from learning to beg for food from an early age. Unfortunately black cats are notoriously hard to find homes for here in Spain and we already had another one who had been with us for over a year, but there was no way we were going to leave her there.. We had them both vaccinated and blood tested for feline diseases on the way home, which thankfully were negative , and then settled them in to what I thought was to be their home for a long time, which it normally is. But for Ebony, which she was now called, this was not to be so, as the next morning I had a call from a nice man who owned a riding stable in the campo behind Estepona, he had originally had several cats but his clients kept asking to take them home as pets and now the rats were using his place as a holiday camp !! He asked if I had four cats he could give a home to, he didn´t mind what sex or colour they were ( yipee ) as long as they were not " rat friendly " , which of course very few cats are. Although thrilled at the idea of a home for four of the cats, two of which could be the little black ones, I questioned him as to what sort of life they would have and it sounded fantastic, they would be safe and free and have a loving home at last living amongst his pet sheep, pigs and turkey. I offered to take them to him the following week so that I could settle them into the area they were to be housed in for a while before being let out. I then set about socializing them with each other, which is not always easy with adult cats, luckily they accepted other really well so their fate was

sealed. The thought of the awful life these poor cats must have been through before coming to us, two of them had come from the Cordoba pound, via Fabiene from ACE in a very malnourished and frightened state but were now fit, confident and happy again and hopefully destined for a great future along with my other little black boy and lucky little Ebony, who´s life may have been taken by now. But I was on a "high", thrilled for the cats who now had a good future and excited to be able to save more from the killing stations - who needs drugs and booze !! I have since phoned and found out they are all well and very happy -- not so the rats!!



CHAIN NEWS CHAIN, the animal charity, based in La Trocha will be holding its end of season sale in the week beginning Saturday 10 September. All items in the sale will be priced at 1€ (children’s 50c). CHAIN be also be holding a “donate a tin“ effort during that week where customers can donate a tin of cat or dog food, biscuits, treats or toys, which will be distributed to the various local animal charities. If you would like to become a member of the CHAIN gang and receive our newsletter then call in at the shop and add your email address to the list. If you did not receive the July/August newsletter then check if your email address you gave us was accurate. Please note that CHAIN does not have a refuge, sorry. If you find/rescue an abandoned animal then you can either display a picture of it on our notice board in the shop or ask the shop volunteers about local refuges. The Coin Branch of The Royal British Legion . holds regular monthly events and trips. The highlight of the year will be a four day three night visit to Toledo on the 16 - 19 September, 2011. This trip is open to non members and the cost will be 180€. Included in the cost is 3 nights bed and breakfast in a double room and return coach from La Trocha. For further information contact Denise on 637474753 Notable dates September 19 is International Talk Like a Pirate Day. September 21 is the International Day of Peace

Animals In Distress (A.I.D.) - News Once again this month has been very busy with lots of abandoned puppies and kittens and there's simply nowhere to put them all because all centres/charities are full and have a waiting list of animals waiting to come in. It never ends!!!!l The economic climate has put a lot of pressure on us as well as other charities so if you find an animal be prepared to take responsibility for it. For those of you that might not be aware, here are two examples from August of some of the work we do, which ended with good news: Caretta is a female Spanish Galgo (Greyhound). She was left at our friend’s refuge near Seville. When they contacted us she was heavily pregnant and she looked old. We could not take her in but we knew that our local Dutch contact would as they are in touch with a Galgo (Greyhound) rescue in Europe so they decided to look after her until she could go abroad to a new home. As it turned out Caretta was over 11 years old and about to give birth so our contact decided that she would stay with them forever once the babies were born. Well within two days her stomach started to turn red and she was rushed to the vet hospital where she had an emergency operation, which we helped towards some of the cost. The red in her tummy was where her uterus had burst and all her insides were full of blood and as they started to open her tummy 3 babies were all ready out. Caretta had 12 pups inside her. She managed to pull through the operation and now she is looking after her pups with the help of our contact. www.animals-in-distress.eu Events for 2011 at the Carolina Restaurant in Alhaurin el Grande. See our events page: http://www.animals-in-distress.eu/events. Sat 17th September - End of Summer Fling Dinner dance. (Evening)



not entitle you to travel to a country specifically to receive medical treatment.

European Health Insurance Card in Spain The Spanish equivalent of the European Health Insurance Card (EHIC) is the Tarjeta Sanitario Europea (TSE). If you are resident in Spain and have a Spanish social security number (No afiliaci贸n S.S.) you should apply for this card. This card is FREE, do not be fooled by companies who say you need to pay for this! If you are traveling back to the UK, or to any other European country, on holiday, on business or to visit family and friends and require medical assistance, presentation of the Tarjeta Sanitaria Europea will entitle you to receive medical assistance, free of charge. Please be advised, however, that this does

You can apply for the card online via a link on our website www.ccbspain.com or alternatively visit your nearest social security office, presenting your Spanish Tarjeta Sanitaria and they should issue you a Tarjeta Sanitaria Europea on the spot (some offices may require you to prebook an appointment). Being a British passport holder no longer entitles you to free healthcare in the UK. Failure to present your European Health Insurance Card may result in you receiving a bill for any medical treatment received. If you have any problems or require further information, do not hesitate to Contact us tel : 952 48 68 06 or email infocbspain.com. Remember to check our web page for regular updates www.ccbspain.com



The Violin Spider The Mediterranean recluse (Loxosceles rufescens). Is found throughout the Mediterranean and Hawaii. They are officially known as "recluse spiders" from the same group as its infamous cousin found in the US. It is a reclusive creature that seeks and prefers seclusion. Part of the genus, Loxosceles (pronounced lox-sos-a-leez). These spiders are also commonly referred to as "fiddle back" spiders or "violin" spiders because of the violin-shaped marking on the top surface of the cephalothorax (fused head and thorax). However, this feature can be very faint depending on the species of recluse spider, particularly those in the south western U.S., or how recently the spider has moulted. Identification In the mature spider as well as some other species of recluse spiders, the dark violin marking is well defined, with the neck of the violin pointing toward the bulbous abdomen. The abdomen is uniformly coloured, although the coloration can range from light tan to dark brown, and is covered with numerous fine hairs that provide a velvety appearance. The long, thin, brown legs also are covered with fine hairs, but not spines. Adult spiders have a leg span about 30mm. Their body is about 10mm long and about 5mm wide. Males are slightly smaller in body length than females, but males have proportionally longer legs. Both sexes are venomous. The immature stages closely resemble the adults except for size and a slightly lighter colour. Whereas most spiders have eight eyes, recluse spiders have six eyes that are arranged in pairs in a semicircle on the fore part of the cephalothorax Life Cycle and Habits Egg laying primarily occurs from May through July. The female lays about 50 eggs that are encased in an off-white silken sac that is about 25mm diameter. Each female may produce several egg sacs over a period of several months. Spiderlings emerge from the egg sacafter about a month or less. Their development is slow and is influenced by weather conditions and food availability. It takes an average of one year to reach the adult stage from time of egg deposit. Recluse spiders often live about one to two years. They can survive long periods of time (about 6 months) without food or water.

The spider spins a loose, irregular web of very sticky, off-white to greyish threads. This web serves as the spider's daytime retreat, and it often is constructed in an undisturbed corner. This spider roams at night searching for insect prey. Recent research at the University of Kansas indicates that the brown recluse spider is largely a scavenger, preferring dead insects. Mature males also roam in search of females.Brown recluse spiders generally occupy dark, undisturbed sites, and they can occur indoors or outdoors. In favourable habitats, their populations are usually dense. They thrive in human-altered environments. Indoors, they may be found in attics, basements, crawl spaces, cellars, closets, and ductwork or registers. They may seek shelter in storage boxes, shoes, clothing, folded linens, and behind furniture. They also may be found in outbuildings such as barns, storage sheds, and garages. Outdoors, brown recluse spiders may be found underneath logs, loose stones in rock piles, and stacks of lumber. The spider is not aggressive, and it normally bites only when crushed, handled or disturbed. Bite Symptoms The physical reaction to a brown recluse spider bite depends on the amount of venom injected and an individual's sensitivity to it. Some people are unaffected by a bite, whereas others experience immediate or delayed effects as the venom kills the tissues (necrosis) at the site of the bite. The bite can result in a painful, deep wound that takes a long time to heal. Fatalities are extremely rare, but bites are most dangerous to young children, the elderly, and infirm. When there is a severe reaction to the bite, the site can erupt into a "volcano lesion" (a hole in the flesh due to damaged, gangrenous tissue). The open wound may range from the size of an adult's thumbnail to the span of a hand. The dead tissue gradually sloughs away, exposing underlying tissues. The sunken, ulcerating sore may heal slowly up to 6 to 8 weeks. Full recovery may take several months and scarring may remain. It is difficult for a physician to accurately diagnose a "brown recluse bite" based simply on wound characteristics. It is absolutely necessary to have the spider for a positive identification. First Aid If bitten, remain calm, and immediately seek medical attention (contact your physician, or hospital ). Apply an ice pack directly to the bite area to relieve swelling and pain. Collect the spider (even a mangled specimen has diagnostic value), if possible, for positive identification.



Capricorn 22nd December – 20th January Queen of Wands Ideas, inspiration, spiritual growth and mental upliftment. You could develop these qualities in others and bring out hidden talents and potential they didn't know they had. You have the strength and knowledge to inspire. Aquarius 21st January – 18th February The fool Knowing nothing is childish, knowing you know nothing is the beginning of wisdom, this is not a month to be unreasonable or short-sighted.Make your mistakes and learn from them. Know that you are an individual and an integral part of the whole Pisces 19th February. – 20th March Ace of Pentacles Money is coming to you this month, financially you will be in a much better position. You can manifest what you need now. Use your ingenuity wisely and use your powers of persistence to utilise your resources effectively. Success is yours so grab it with both hands. Aries 21st March – 20th April. The Emperor. You may find yourself moving steadily up into a position of power and influence. A firm foundation and a secure and respected place in the community. You will reach your goals using intelligence and reason not your emotion or intuition. Taurus 21st April – 21st May Two of cups. A new beginning, a partnership either business or romance. you may be getting engaged or making a longstanding commitment to each other. Gemini 22nd May – June 21st The Hanged Man. Everything stops for you this month, followed by a turning point in your mental attitude. A destructive relationship could be coming to an end. You could find yourself on your own, but it will be for the best.

Cancer 22nd June – 22nd July The World. Good fortune and spiritual enlightenment,insights to be gained and inner peace is attained.Travel to a new life in a new place is also indicated this month. You could be moving house.. Leo 23rd July – 23rd August Four of Swords Time for contemplation, reflection and emotional recovery after conflict.Prepare now before making any changes. Build up your strength and your inner strength too. Do not surround yourself with people to make you feel better and try to forget what you really feel.


Virgo 24th August – 22nd September Ten of Swords The final ending of a difficult situation, painful but face up to it truthfully and you can go forward to a future with fewer disruptions. A month of general unhappiness and forced changes. Libra 23rd September – 22nd October Three of Pentacles If you have just had a period of misfortune for 3 months or 3 years then now that period is coming to an end. You will beable to see gradual improvements all around. Know your own limits. Be aware of the consequences of your actions on others. :

Scorpio 23rd October - 22nd November Ace of Swords Your mental powers are awakening, changes are coming, resolutions are possible after much struggle. A long journey or holiday will be fraught with difficulties. You could start a really passionate love affair. Sagittarius 23rd November - 22nd December Ten of Pentacles Financial success and great pleasure gained from personal achievement. A good future marriage and a happy and contented family life. Security like you never had before.





1. How is a battle site represented on an ordinance survey map? 2. How many children did Queen Victoria have? 3. Who was the 5th U.S. President to be shot? 4. Which symbol appears on 60 of the worlds flags? 5. In which year were the Winter Olympics first held? 6. Jakarta, the capital is on which Indonesian island? 7. With which band was Brian Ferry the lead singer? 8.Calcium carbonate is more commonly called what? 9. Who was the leader of the Mutineers on the Bounty? 10. Who co- wrote the song "Do they know it's Christmas"? 11.Who was the chief rabbit in the book Watership Down? 12. Which capital city stands on the River Ultava? 13.Whom did Tony Blair appoint as Sports Minister in 1997? 14. What is the currency of Hungary called? 15. How many books are there in the Old Testament? 16. What is a group of chickens called? 17. What is the Spanish word for Hedgehog? 18.Where will the next football World Cup be held? 19. The hour falls on which stroke of Big Ben, the first or the last? 20.What was the name of the 1st space station?

Answers on page 58


Butterfly Stereo grams Turn the page sideways clockwise and look at the image you should see a Butterfly ? Can’t see it, heres some tips that might help The Pullback Get very close to the stereogram, and very, very slowly pull it away from you. At first you won't even be able to focus on the image... However, keep moving the image in and out, relaxing, and it will appear. Look at the Reflection You'll need to LOOK at something about twice the distance of the image. It turns out we have something that is almost always available that is the exact distance... your reflection. By looking at your reflection, this will help, if not put the book one side of a glass door enough to let you see your reflection.then... After looking at your eye, simply stop focusing on your eye, and try to see the image. Repeat, switching your focus from your eye to the image, and your reflection... and suddenly you will get it.

Answers on page 58

Using the letter grid below, how many words can you find. - Each word must contain the letter in the middle ( so MOON is not allowed) - words must contain 3 or more letters (so SO is not allowed) - each letter can only be used as many times as it appears in the grid - no proper nouns , -There is as always a 9 letter conundrum. ( SECRETIVE ? ) If you score more than 15 words well done


Across 1. Assault sexually (6) 4. Plane (8) 10. Vaporization of a solid (9) 11. Parental brother (5) 12. Chasm (5) 13. Racial segregation (9) 14. Bothers (7) 16. Stiff and sore (4) 19. Auspices (4) 21. Endanger (7) 24. Military supplies (9) 25. Hoarder (5) 26. Exculpation (5) 27. A man of refinement (9) 28. Reddish brown (8) 29. Goober pea (6) Down 1. Lip hair (8)

2. Someone paid to influence politicians (8) 3. Boats (5) 5. Japanese art of flower arrangement (7) 6. Wooing (9) 7. William Tell was one (6) 8. Chic (6) 9. Annoy (6) 15. Followed by thunder (9) 17. A first-year undergraduate (8) 18. A single-reed instrument (8) 20. Double-barrelled firearm (7) 21. Irrational (6) 22. Preserve a dead body (6) 23. Make wealthy (6) 25. Donnybrook (5)

Answers on page 58

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z Discover how to break a code: Every number in the codeword grid is 'code' for a letter of the alphabet. Thus the number '12' may correspond to the letter 'L', for instance. We have given you 3 letters, 17 = R, 19 =N & 24 = G Answers on page 58


Warning! Beer can change your sex? Beer contains female hormones! Yes, that's right, FEMALE hormones! Last month, Montreal University and scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain Phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women. To test the theory, 100 men each drank 8 schooners of beer within a one (1) hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects, yes, 100% of all these men: 1) Argued over nothing. 2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong. 3) Gained weight. 4) Talked excessively without making sense. 5) Became overly emotional 6) Couldn't drive. 7) Failed to think rationally, and

8) Had to sit down while urinating. No further testing was considered necessary! Wise old man A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday.. She spends $15,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home, she stops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, 'I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am? 'About 32,' is the reply.' 'Nope! I'm exactly 50,' the woman says happily. A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the very same question. The girl replies, 'I'd guess about 29.' The woman replies with a big smile, 'Nope, I'm 50.' Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store on her way down the street.


She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk this burning question. The clerk responds, 'Oh, I'd say 30.' Again she proudly responds, 'I'm 50, but thank you!' While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question. He replies, 'Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going.. Although, when I was young there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are.' They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the best of her. She finally blurts out, 'What the hell, go ahead.' he slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other. After a couple of minutes of this, she says, 'Okay, okay....How old am I?'

He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, 'Madam, you are 50.' Stunned and amazed, the woman says, 'That was incredible, how could you tell?' The old man says, 'Promise you won't get mad?' 'I promise I won't' she says. 'I was behind you at McDonalds.' Biker A tough looking group of bikers were riding into Key West when they saw a girl about to jump off the Cow Key Channel bridge, so they stopped. The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?" "I'm going to commit suicide," she says. While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an opportunity so he asked... "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?" So she does... And it was a long, deep lingering kiss. After she's finished, the biker says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had. That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous. Why are you committing suicide?" "My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."




1) Crossed swords 11) Hazel 12) Prague 2) 9 3) Ronald Reagan 13) Tony Banks 14) Forint 4) Star 15) 39 5) 1924 16) Brood 6) Java 17) Erizo 7) Roxy music 18) South Africa 8) Chalk 9) Fletcher Christian 19) First 20) Skylab 10) Midge Ure

Codeword: 1=W, 2=M, 3=O, 4=F, 5=X, 6=B, 7=Z, 8=S,

9=J, 10=D, 11=H, 12=U, 13=I, 14=L, 15=Q, 16=Y, 17=R,

18=P, 19=N, 20=E, 21=K, 22=C, 23=T, 24=G, 25=A, 26=V,


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TRAIN A1 Andalus Express Coastal Service RENFE Ticket Info

952 537 227 952 360 202 902 240 202

BUS EMERGENCY NUMBERS Emergency Ambulance Fire Brigade Local Police National Police Guardia Civil Helpline in English Red Cross Ambulance

112 061 080 092 091 062 902 102 112 952 444 499

HOSPITALS Carlos Haya Hospital Civil Hospital Maternity Hospital Costa del Sol Hospital Hospital Clinico Univ

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HEALTH CENTRES Alhaurin de la Torre Alhaurin el Grande Alora Benalmadena Cartama Central Health Service Coin Fuengirola (Los Boliches) Fuengirola (West) Health 24hr Response Mijas (La Cala) Mijas (Las Lagunas) Torremolinos

952 410 426 952 595 000 952 498 100 952 440 305 952 424 042 955 018 000 952 453 336 952 460 036 952 468 835 902 505 060 952 492 150 951 062 247 952 386 484

CONSULATES British Irish U.S.A. The Netherlands

952 352 300 952 475 108 952 474 891 952 380 888

MALAGA AIRPORT Information 952 048 771/952 048 484 Arrivals T2 952 048 844 Arrivals T1 952 048 845 Departures 952 048 804 Gibraltar Airport 956 773 026

Alhaurin el Grande Benalmadena Fuengirola Malaga Torremolinos

952 490 709 952 443 563 952 475 066 952 350 061 952 380 965

TAXI Alhaurin de la Torre Alhaurin el Grande Benalmadena Coin Fuengirola Malaga Torremolinos

952 410 444 952 491 010 952 441 545 952 453 587 952 471 000 952 327 950 952 380 600

TOWN HALLS Alora Benalmadena Campillos Coin Fuengirola Malaga Mijas Torremolinos

952 496 100 952 579 800 952 722 168 952 453 018 952 589 300 952 135 000 952 485 900 952 379 400

MARKETS DAYS Tuesday - Antequera, Fuengirola. Wednesday - Alhaurin de la Torre, Arroyo de la Miel, Rincon de la Victoria, Saydo Hotel Mollina, La Cala de Mijas. Thursday - Alhaurin el Grande at the Feria, Pizarra, Torremolinos at Recinto Ferial Ground. Friday - Arroyo de la Miel, Cartama Country Farmers Market, Cartama Feria Ground, Mijas Costa, Rincon de la Victoria. Saturday - Coin, Fuengirola, La Cala de Mijas, Ojen, Caratracca Car Boot. Sunday - Benagalbon, Coin La Trocha, Estacion de Cartama, Fuengirola, Malaga next to the Stadium, Pizarra Car Boot, Torremolinos by Crocodile Park.




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