SIMPLYkc Magazine April 2022

Page 36

PARENTING

GUIDING YOUR CHILD THROUGH DIVORCE

WRITTEN BY T.E. CUNNINGHAM

You and your spouse have been up, down, and all around trying to “work it out.” After years of trying to find a way, you have agreed to instead go your separate ways. Often, the biggest challenge divorcing parents face is parenting their children through and after splitting up. “This is a difficult time. You’re trying to juggle your children’s needs while at the same time recognizing your emotions and the general stress you are under. Be compassionate with yourself. Reach out to people who have been through this and remind yourself how this will improve. Know that your kids will be okay,” advises Catherine Craig, licensed specialist clinical social worker. The first challenge is how to tell your children you are dissolving your marriage while assuring them that things will be okay. Divorce is highly stressful and emotional. The first step to take as you prepare to inform your children that “mommy and daddy” aren’t going to live together anymore is to

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approach the matter with empathy for your children and stay calm. Put your children first, and put your pain, anger, frustration, and sadness aside. The approach you take depends on the age of your children, but the guidelines includes several commonalities, regardless of age. Here are some simple things to remember, though the implementation will be challenging. •D o not make your spouse the villain, and talk to your children together with a calm united front. •T ell the truth, but do not go into details. Your problems as a couple are just that—your problems. A simple “we have grown apart” or “we want different things” is appropriate. Keep a united front. •A ssure your children that you both love them, that they are and will remain the top priority for both of you, and that they will have access and time with both parents. • If your split is relatively amicable,


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