AUGUST, 2021
Uniting Women & Teenage Girls to Impact Their World ™
MIRROR, MIRROR REV. ROBIN HOPSON
MONEY STRESS as a Single Parent DORETHIA KELLY
Take Me to THE KING MIN. ENNA BACHELOR
Understanding Your PERSONAL STYLE
It’s a WRAP!
LENITA SUE SWAIN-CLEVELAND – “HONEY”
KELLIE NAPPER
ON THE COVER: NICOLE ROBERTS JONES, COACHING STRATEGIST
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GREETINGS SISTAHS! Now is the time and season to RECALIBRATE! God has thoughts. The enemy has thoughts. We have a mind. God wants us to have His and the enemy wants us to have his. We are to set our minds on the things of Christ because our minds have a tendency to drift and a double-minded person is unstable in their ways. It’s time to renew your mind and recalibrate your mind. This is the season and time God has set aside in the eighth month to start things anew. Yes, even in what appears to be the middle of the year, God says “It’s time to experience a new season.” In the midst of a life, a career and a schedule that all seems right and comfortable there may come a time when God calls us to redirect our mind and our energy. The unknown of the new season causes a recalibration of one’s mind and faith. It’s simply called a Divine Reset that calls for time with God to know the direction He desires for you to take. There might not be any fireworks or earth-shaking revelations, but the tangible sense of God’s presence by hearing His voice reveals the needed direction and develops new normals. Therefore, lay aside every weight that besets you and get ready for a new, recalibrated, exciting life! Go forth SISTAHS, be empowered, be informed and be inspired!
PHOTO BY SHAWN LEE STUDIOS
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A SISTAH’S LIFESTYLE Mirror, Mirror by Rev. Robin Hopson ............................................................................................................................. 7 FAITH & FINANCES Money STRESS as a Single Parent by Dorethia Kelly ................................................................................................ 9 VIRTUOUSITY Take Me to The King by Min. Enna Bachelor ............................................................................................................. 11 WHERE ARE THEY NOW? How I Got Over by Dr. Sharnae Coakley-Hall ........................................................................................................ 15 ON THE COVER: “Bankroll Your Brilliance” NICOLE ROBERTS JONES, Coaching Strategist ...................................................................................................... 16 EDUCATION CORNER Understanding Your Personal Style & the Style of Others by Kellie Napper .................................................... 22 A SISTAH’S CLOSET It’s a Wrap! by Lenita Sue Swain-Cleveland ............................................................................................................ 24 SISTAHS IN BUSINESS: Marquita Moore, Craft Dezigns................................................................................................................................... 28 Taylor Little, Style Fiend ................................................................................................................................................ 30 AUTHOR SPOTLIGHT: Boss Women ......................................................................................................................... 32 EVENTS & RESOURCES
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A SISTAH’S LIFESTYLE
When I look in this mirror… I look deep into my soul. I see the girl I was and the woman I have become.. This mirror reminds me that I am not my past but my past has prepared for the future that awaits me. I am a Virtuous Woman fearfully and wonderfully made. Nothing can stop me, I’m unstoppable! Nothing can break me, I’m unbreakable! Nothing can shake me, I’m unshakeable! Nothing can move me, I’m unmovable! I will be who God has destined me to be, my first step is healing the hurt that’s within me. Everything I am and everything I'll be will come from God, Who is within me! He is my Strength and He cares for me so today I declare. “I walk into my destiny!”
! ©2021 Robin Hopson. All Rights Reserved.
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FAITH & FINANCES
AS A SINGLE PARENT #MoneyChat
I never wanted the fact that I was a single parent to be a crutch. I didn’t want anyone to look at me in a “poor Dorethia and her kids” kind of way. I was determined to ensure that my girls didn’t miss out on anything because they weren’t in a twoparent home. But the reality is that it was hard. I was a young mother with two daughters, trying to figure life out and broke. I was working and going to school, both full time, but not making enough to cover all of my bills, let alone an emergency. I took jobs as a receptionist because it was an easy way to make money and I was good at it. But, it was entry-level. Truthfully, I can’t blame it all on earning a low wage either, because as my income grew, I made some poor decisions. I was never one to blow money on shopping, but I leased a truck I couldn’t afford. The truck payment coupled with Detroit car insurance costs was outrageous. I purchased new windows on installment and a few other things — things everyone else did too, so it seemed like it made sense. Feeling the Pressure I think the creditor calls were the worst. Their harassment would often send me into a panic. I was trying to figure out how I could pay them off so that they’d stop calling. There were many nights of terrible stress. I remember crying myself to sleep worried about my bills. It was horrible.I was trying hard to fix it. I knew I needed to increase my income, so I adopted side hustles. I cleaned houses and sold candles and jewelry to try to make up the difference. But, it was never enough.
Starting My Money Journey — at Church I knew I had to stop stressing, and I had to lean on my faith to do that. The truth is, faith is what got me through. My church began having financial education seminars, and I went to every one of them. I learned principles I had never heard of before, and no one in my circle of friends or family had either. I also began to pray and ask God to help me do better with my money and give me peace. During that time, I realized that for years I had been winging it with my money, doing the best I could, but I never had a real strategy. But now I did. I always tell people that “knowledge eliminates fear,” and that was certainly true for me and my money. Once I educated myself on proper money management methods and was determined not to get overwhelmed by stress, I felt so much better. What You Can Do If any of this sounds familiar to you — maybe you’re a single parent yourself, or you’re just struggling financially — here are the things that I did to eliminate money stress. Some of these may work for you too. Learn everything you can about managing money and implement a plan that works for your situation. Stop borrowing money. Focus on increasing your income and paying your debt off. Make arrangements with your creditors, one by one. Make the conscious decision not to worry, and talk to others who can assist and encourage you. ©2018 Dorethia Kelly – All Rights Reserved.
https://www.gobankingrates.com/saving-money/family/dealing-with-money-as-single-mom
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VIRTUOUSITY
1 KINGS 3:23-28 ESV 23 Then the king said, “The one says, ‘This is my son that is alive, and your son is dead’; and the other says, ‘No; but your son is dead, and my son is the living one.’” 24 And the king said, “Bring me a sword.” So a sword was brought before the king. 25 And the king said, “Divide the living child in two, and give half to the one and half to the other.” 26 Then the woman whose son was alive said to the king, because zher heart yearned for her son, “Oh, my lord, give her the living child, and by no means put him to death.” But the other said, “He shall be neither mine nor yours; divide him.” 27 Then the king answered and said, “Give the living child to the first woman, and by no means put him to death; she is his mother.” 28 And all Israel heard of the judgment that the king had rendered, and they stood in awe of the king, because they perceived that the wisdom of God was in him to do justice. Now I know the title for this article God gave has some of yall thinkin about a popular song sung by Tamela Mann. But turn your attention for a few moments to what God has to say through the scriptures on today. Then repeat after me: TAKE ME TO THE KING. What I love about KIng Jesus is that he will allow us access without looking at our address. Without checking our zip code. Without seeing what titles we hold. Without checking our credit score. Without checking the dress code. Without checking to see how many mutual friends we have on Facebook or Instagram before accepting our friend request. Verses like the ones shared in this article are confirmed by Hebrews 4:16 which reads, “Let us therefore
come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.” You see these women were not high class. They were thought to be prostitutes although the word in the Hebrew can also mean innkeeper. The popular guess is that they were women of ill repute who sold their bodies for money. They had produced illegitimate children. They were, in fact a member of the lowest social class and got no respect. One of the many things I LOVE about God is that he cannot be boxed in or pigeon holed. The same God who made a donkey talk to prove his point is the same God that used unpopular prostitutes with a plethora of problems to prove that true justice is blind and that err-body matters to God. So, he takes this set of marginalized, disenfranchised, low class, no class set of women from a disadvantaged demographic and uses their circumstances to demonstrate his power, his purpose and his presence. There is no one beyond his reach, not even you or me. Amen somebody. And so, an argument ensues right in front of the king about whose baby died and whose baby lived. And it is up to Solomon to settle the matter. His authority is absolute and his judgement is final. There are no appeals courts, no mistrials...whatever he says goes. I remember as a child that my sisters and I would sometimes find ourselves arguing about who was to blame for breaking one of my mother’s rules. We would each point the finger at the other or deny any knowledge or blame. Nobody wanted to fess up cuz nobody wanted the penalty, the punishment or the persecution or shame which came with being found at fault. You know what Mama’s response to that was? | 11
Imma whoop EVERYBODY and then I’ll know I got the right one!!! Invariably the one who was at fault would remain silent when this was said but the innocent would cry out unfairness. And here we see a mother’s love in action. The real mother would rather see her child live without her than die. While she was willing to plead her case, she was not willing to lose her child to death. So, she made the heart wrenching decision to allow him to live. Saints that’s what love does! It is self-sacrificing, it would rather endure the pain rather than spread the pain around to others. Upon hearing the responses to his suggestion that the child be cut in half there
was no doubt in Solomon’s mind as to who the real mother was. And so, this story gives us five powerful truths to strengthen us on our faith walk. We have to be willing to sever our ties with the world in order to embrace the truth and power of God. Many of us cannot walk in true victory because we refuse to do this very thing. Stevie Wonder can tell when you don’t put God first because the choices you make tell on you! Start paying attention to what God pays attention to! .
©2021 Enna Bachelor – All Rights Reserved.
Inspired by the great cooks among my family and friends I began to experiment with various recipes about two years ago. Over time I've created a recipe of my own which infuses a buttery, peachy flavor with notes of cinnamon and sugar that make the taste sweet and satisfying. So , I decided to launch Detroit Peach in July of 2020 and share my peach cobbler with the world!
thedetroitpeach.com
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How I got over, How I got over my Lord, you know my soul looks back and wonder, how I got over.
This has been an amazing journey SISTAHs,
“not so”. My church was just starting up a
and I have missed you all. I was blessed to
new theology school, The Faith Bible
relocate to Georgia in February 2017. In my
Institute. The Lord led me to start school
transition, the Lord sent an amazing man to
there and in May, I obtained my Doctorate
find me, and we were married in October
in Christian Counseling. After graduation, I
2017 and are still going strong for the Lord. I
was asked to be the Assistant Dean of Faith
joined Grace Community Christian Church,
Bible Institute and I graciously accepted. I
where I continued my ministerial journey. I
continue to be a good steward over the
came to a point in my life where I was ready
many gifts the Lord has humbly blessed with
to return to school since two of my three
me. I preach His word, teach His word and
children graduated from college.
love on His people.
I set my heart to return for my Doctorate in
SISTAHs what a mighty God we serve!
Nursing and the Holy Spirit spoke and said,
Love you all,
Elder Dr. Sharnae Hall, DCC, MSN, MBA, RN
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ON THE COVER
However, what she realized is that, living “the dream” was becoming a nightmare. Working in Hollywood was GREAT but what she really wanted was to somehow make a difference in the world. In the midst of feeling torn between the what the world said and what she should be or do, and what her soul wanted, one of her friends asked her to volunteer at an event at church. That night SHE CAME ALIVE and realized she was born to help women transform their lives. She knew in that moment she was where she was meant to be and she began to listen to her soul. Nicole had the following to share with SISTAH Talk:
SISTAH Talk: Please tell SISTAH Talk about yourself. Nicole: I am uniquely gifted at one thing – drawing out what’s best in YOU and helping you take your Brilliance to The Bank. From my experience working in Talent Management and Casting in the Entertainment industry and then moving into being an Adjunct Professor. teaching program development at USC and Boston University, I merged all of my brilliance into helping others Bankroll Their Brilliance. However, who I am at my core is a woman who LOVES God, who wants to live my life in alignment with who He has called me which I know is to be the catalyst that others live in alignment with their God given assignment. SISTAH Talk: How do you help people Bankroll their Brilliance? Nicole: First you have to understand that, that gift in you is the answer to someone
problem and one you know that and begin to say yes to Be The Answer to the people that need you, our next step is to grow a business using your brilliance or what some would call your intellectual property. Your Intellectual property is the unique factor that God invested in you that sets you apart. It is your expertise, your brilliance where your talents, passions, personality, and experiences collide. It’s that genius that flows from you effortlessly and the thing that everyone seeks you out for. Not only that, sharing this knowledge you’ve acquired is like second nature to you. So, when people ask you if they can pick your brain or tease something out with you, they are tapping into your intellectual property. So instead of giving it away for free, the key is to set up your business around it. This is the way God wired you to be the answer you were born to be in this world and is the avenue He has set to bring abundance back to you! SISTAH Talk: How did you come into your Purpose? Nicole: I remember having the job I always wanted since I was 7 years old. This was back in 1993. At the time I worked for Viacom’s largest cable network, and we had an outreach to over 89 million homes on a weekly basis. From there I was elevated into a casting position for the #1 TV show on Fox, and then from there I worked with a production group, and together what we produced generated over 12.6 billion dollars a year. I was doing all of that plus I was going to all the hot Hollywood parties. I was bumping elbows with all the stars;
NICOLE ROBERTS JONES
NICOLE ROBERTS JONES had the job in Hollywood many people dream of.
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people that you’ve watched on TV and have seen in films.
NICOLE ROBERTS JONES
I was doing it ALL and I loved every minute of it, but in the dark of the night when I was by myself, I began to feel like something was missing. I felt puzzled by this feeling because how could something be missing when I was in the exact career I dreamed of ever since I was a little girl?
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In the midst of me being confused by what I was feeling, one of my girlfriends asked me to volunteer at a program at our church. That night as I worked with young women, I could see their eyes light up and as their eyes lit up, my heart lit up. I knew in that moment that THIS is EXACTLY what I was meant to do and yet I felt conflicted. I felt conflicted because this did not come with a big paycheck and I did not even know what to call this thing I was doing that night. Today we call it coaching, but back then I did not know what a coach was so I could not define it. In that moment, with knees knocking and teeth chattering I decided to go after becoming the highest and best version of who God created me to be. I realized that while I was successful God had more work for me to do, and that work was not about who I already was, it was about who I had not yet become. That night in 1993, I began to do the work that I now do with women as I was getting in alignment with my God given assignment and now give women the tools, insight and strategy to not just in alignment with theirs but to do what I call Bankrolling Their Brilliance. SISTAH Talk: What obstacles do you believe people encounter in defining their Purpose? The biggest obstacle is often YOU! As John 10:10 says, “The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” The enemy is always going to fight you from living as the highest and best version of who God has created you to be. He does this usually in things that have happened to you or people have said to you that make you play small, settle for good enough or live in mediocre. I know in my own journey, had to realize that in order to move forward I had to release my limiting belief of not feeling good enough. I had to let go of being so focused on what other people thought about me and what other people said about me. What they thought I should do and be and instead, really begin to define me for myself.
For years I was so focused on being liked and fitting in that I was playing small. This was first brought to my awareness back in 1993 when I started IN this work and it was in that moment that I began to do the work to stand in the full power of me unapologetically that I realized what was happening. Just as it says in Genesis 3:15 The enemy was trying to bruise my head via the power of my thoughts, however as I started to do the work to grow me, I began to bruise His heel! So know that they enemy will try and do all that he can to keep you from your purpose but God has given us the power to tread on every lie the enemy will ever try to place on us that can keep us from living into our abundantly above all SISTAH Talk: What advice do you give people about Profit? Nicole: The one thing you must know is your dream, your gift, your calling is what you were born to do. It is how God wired you to serve the world and as you make the difference you were born to make, money comes back to you! Here are a few steps that can help your bankroll your brilliance: 1.
2.
3.
Be Confident – Know that you already have everything you need. You were birthed with the purpose, the gift to do or to be something special. All you have to do is… Get Clear & Stay Focused – What is your purpose. In what way can you fully exercise your gift? What do you want? You have got to be clear on how you will work to make your dream real in your life. This is why people make vision boards, so that they can get clear & stay focused on what they want and what they are working toward. You can’t hit the target if you can’t see where you are pointing the arrow so you must be clear, and stay focused on your goal. Make a Plan – From your clarity, the true key to focus is knowing what action you need to take NOW. Look at where you are today and figure out how you get to where you want to go. What do you need
to do to get there, how long will it take, how much money will you need, etc.... plan it ALL out. 4.
Be Unapologetic About it – Stop looking for everyone to accept your purpose. To validate it and confirm you are on the right path. No one is pregnant with your purpose but YOU, so you MUST know it is up to you birth it, to make it real in your life. So move forward without regret, knowing that when your purpose is fully birthed for the world to see, everyone will see exactly what has been string up inside of you.
5.
Grow it – Find ways to grow your gift. You cannot truly grow to what’s possible for you without continually educating yourself. Whatever your dreams or goals are I have to tell you as your sister in the journey, you don’t know everything it’s going to take to actually get there. So, you must invest in someone that can hold the space for your grow with you as your coach and/or teacher so that you move your purpose into ACTIVATION.
SISTAH Talk: Tell us about your Brilliance Roadmap. Nicole: I created the Brilliance Roadmap Quiz because as I meet women through the country, it became clear to me that aligning their purpose with their paycheck had nothing to do with desire. The desire was there, but what they needed was to understand where they are in the journey and the next steps to take from there. So that is exactly what the brilliance roadmap quiz is, it allows you to assess where you are and it gives you your next 5 steps of activation all for FREE. You can take it at www.BrillianceRoadmapQuiz.com SISTAH Talk: What services do you offer? Nicole: There are 2 main areas I work in; Purpose Clarity and Bankrolling your Brilliance Purpose clarity allows you to be clear on the positioning of your gifts and talents, be that at work or in your business so that in all you do, you | 19
NICOLE ROBERTS JONES
are living as the highest and best version of who God created you to be. This can be found in our Power of One program
SISTAH Talk: What encouragement do you give persons who look to discover their Power, Purpose and Profit?
Bankrolling Your Brilliance allows you to start or grow a business that not only creates multiple streams of income but it allows you to serve more and do more without more of you. This can be found in our signature program = Brilliance Mastery Academy and our Elevation Coaching programs.
Nicole: There are a group of people waiting for you. Matter of fact, God put the exact gifts and talents that they need in you so every day you settle for good enough or choose not to move your purpose forward you are being stingy with your gift. You are holding up someone’s answered prayer and ultimately you are not giving God a great return on His investment in you!
You can learn more about my group and one on one coaching programs at www.WorkWithNRJ.com SISTAH Talk: How can we engage with you and your services? Nicole: Learn more on my website www.NicoleRobertsJones.com and follow me on Instagram @NRobertsJones
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PAMPERRYPR.COM
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EDUCATION CORNER
& When dealing with people who are difficult it is important to remember that those who you come into contact with are doing the best they can from their level of consciousness. With having knowledge of this try to avoid judging their behavior. Things may appear one way from your perspective, but very few people are deliberately trying to make life difficult for you yet alone themselves. During those times they are making choices that seem to best fit them from where they find themselves in the current moment, regardless of the amount of chaos it might bring into the experience of others.
help you navigate dealing with a negative individual. The STOP Acronym can be the most useful when dealing with a difficult personal relationship
According to Marshall Rosenberg’s book, Nonviolent Communication you should ask yourself the following questions before judging the behavior of an individual.
Another helpful strategy is being able to see through the Control Drama the other person is using. Often the other individual can be manipulative when their needs are not being met. Here are some signs of control drama
1. What just happened? (Distinguishing observations from evaluations for awareness and clarity) 2. What are the feelings arising in me? (Taking responsibility of your emotions and feelings without playing the victim) 3. What do I need that I’m not receiving: (Identifying your own needs, rather than assuming others know what is not being communicated.) 4. What am I asking for? (Specifically requesting what you need and detailing the outcome) These are powerful and transformational questions that can lead to a productive and conscious exchange with individuals in your life. Although you may have these techniques in place a person can choose not to support you with meeting your needs and make the choice to be difficult. This is where you need to maintain your presence and respond objectively and not emotionally. Below are a few strategies that can
1. 2. 3. 4.
Stope whatever you’re doing Take 3 deep breaths Observe how your body feels Proceed with kindness and compassion
No matter how hard the difficult person or relationship is, taking a pause will help to avoid the emotional reactions that seem to take over in the heat of the moment.
1. 2. 3. 4.
Nice and manipulative Nasty and manipulative Unapproachable and withdrawn Playing the victim
These characteristics are learned in one’s younger years of life and once adolescence is reached these behaviors typically don’t go away. If this is something you are seeing in an individual know that in that moment, they need your compassion. Responding with compassion will bring about a shift to the situation and hopefully bring about a positive outcome. ©2021 Kellie Napper – All Rights Reserved.
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A SISTAH’S CLOSET S
IT’S A WRAP ● MAKE EVERYDAY YOUR RUNWAY
I believe there is no such thing as a bad hair day, only good wrap days. A chic and stylish way to gain control over your look when your hair doesn't want to cooperate is to use a wrap. YouTube has thousands of hours of tutorials that range from beginner to advanced. The more you practice the more polished your look will become. When selecting your wraps think of them the same way you would If you were selecting a scarf for the neckline of your ensemble and have fun with colors, textures and patterns. Take away the excessive time, anxiety and stress of disobedient hair and wrap it. Pair it up with shades and a stylish bag and MAKE EVERYDAY YOUR RUNWAY! -Mason Tone
© 2021 – Lenita Sue Swain-Clevelant
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CRAFT DEZIGNZ S
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STYLE FIEND S
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Boss Women features seven African-American women who started their businesses by themselves or as co-founders with family members. Although some of these women may not have highly public profiles, they represent a variety of industries, and all of their businesses are successful. Some of the enterprises are relatively new, while others have been established for decades. The businesswomen profiled in this book are Janice M. Adams (JMA Solutions), Valerie Daniels-Carter (V&J Holdings Companies), Bea Dixon (Honey Pot), Janice Bryant Howroyd (The ACT One Group), Garnetta Sanders (Neta Scientific), Janell Stephens (Camille Rose Naturals), and J.C. Sykes (90 Degree Construction). Boss Women uses poetic phrasing to make it easier for children to read and understand. While reading each poetic profile, children will be able to see themselves in these women’s successes and dream big dreams for the future. The book is also a motivational tool for adults who are seeking encouragement on their entrepreneurial journeys.
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TO THE
LEVEL
Friday, Oct. 22 @ 4:00 p.m.
Presenter: Pam Perry, Marketing/PR Expert
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https://blackbreastfeedingweek.org
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COVID Emergency Rental Assistance (CERA)
Having trouble paying or receiving rent? MSHDA has federal funds available to help tenants facing pandemic-related hardships avoid eviction while also ensuring landlords can recoup owed rent through the COVID Emergency Rental Assistance (CERA) program. MSHDA administers CERA through its statewide network of local nonprofit agencies. We encourage everyone who is eligible to apply today and take advantage of a program that can help restore housing stability. CERA ONLINE APPLICATION NOW AVAILABLE!!
The tenant or landlord can initiate the online application process. The tenant or landlord will need to enter the tenant's name, address and email address, and the landlord's email address. This will initiate emails to both the tenant and landlord for them to complete their portion of the application. Service agencies will communicate via email with the tenant and landlord if additional information is needed. The tenant and landlord will receive notice via email when the case is processed and how much funding has been approved. In a few weeks, the application will be updated so the landlord can complete all "Tenant" and "Landlord" application fields and uploads, and the tenant will receive an email to confirm the application is true and correct. WHO IS ELIGIBLE? CERA serves renter households that have incomes less than 80% of Area Median Income (AMI) who meet the following conditions: •
•
Individual(s) in the household has qualified for unemployment benefits or has experienced a reduction in household income, incurred significant costs, or has experienced other financial hardship due directly or indirectly to the coronavirus outbreak; and Individual(s) in the household can demonstrate a risk of experiencing homelessness or housing instability evidenced by a past due utility or rent notice.
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