ADVICE
Ask Boo Lizzie Benton, founder and owner or Liberty Mind, is a passionate advocate of personal development. Here she offers advice and guidance about real life issues.
Q: I’m currently torn between how I should spend my time at Christmas. I’m in a new relationship, and part of me thinks I should try to spend time with my partner’s family, but I really want to spend time with my family. Help! Christmas has a tendency to make us feel like there’s lots of unnecessary pressure. From the thought of having to give gifts for the sake of gifting, to forcing ourselves to events that make us miserable simply because it’s the season of ‘good cheer’. Ultimately, Christmas can often start making us feel like Scrooge.
Rather keep adhering to all of society's pressures, and those around you, think about what would really make YOU happy.
People pleasing becomes a given during December, and I’ve seen many people stress and panic their way through the month because they’re trying to fit everyone in and be everywhere. Rather keep adhering to all of society's pressures, and those around you, think about what would really make YOU happy. If right now doesn’t feel like the right time to spend with your new partner’s family, then explain this to him. After all, ‘forced fun’ is never going to make anyone
happy. You’re not going to be there in spirit, which means his family won’t get the best version of you. It’s amazing how one day can make us all have a heightened sense of emotion. But try to attempt to take the pressure out of it. Maybe dedicate another day during the season to his family, and organise something that would make you feel comfortable. Alternatively, start discussing ways you can start creating your own Christmas traditions. Is there a future where you could create a Christmas that has the best bits of what you both enjoy? We can all often feel the brunt of judgement when our Christmas doesn’t fit the ‘norm’, but what’s normal? Remember that Christmas as a season should be a time for spending your time with those who you cherish the most. And that includes the whole month rather than just the day. And lastly, don’t be so hard on yourself for wanting to do something your way. We all work incredibly hard for our Christmas break, and we’re allowed to enjoy it in a way that makes us happy > Send me your dilemma: Email: lizziebenton@live.co.uk or visit my website www.lizaboo.co.uk and ‘Ask Boo’ QueenBee magazine
Festive issue 2019
55
