VOLUME 8 - ISSUE 5 / JULY 2012
S
phie
Wo m a n ’ s M a g a z i n e
INSIDE: Girlfriends In God ~ Time For A Change? | Page 15 Journaling The Journey ~ Planning Ahead.... Yeah Right! | Page 11 Me, Myself, & Inc. ~ Survival, Success, or Significance | Page 19 shutterbuggerz pg 38
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“I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all” Why do we have such problems with the phrase “one nation under God”? It is an expression of loyalty to the flag and to the republic of the United States of America. You will not be shocked to hear that I think we did such a great disservice to our country when we took prayer out of school. Will you just think with me for one moment about that? A poor, plain, country girl, born into an alcoholic family didn’t have much of a moral compass. With that said, though, my dad was a patriotic man who fought in World War II, along with most of his brothers. One of his brothers was a prisoner of War and was held during the Battaan Death March by the Imperial Japanese Army. A lot of American soldiers did not come out alive. My uncle did, but he never escaped the horrors of his mind. Maybe it was because of all of this, that my father made sure we understood what being an American was all about and how we should never take it for granted. We were taught the Pledge of Allegiance….the right way: to stand and salute and say it like we understood how precious every single word was. Even if my dad hadn’t taught us that, we would have learned it in school. From the very first day of entering that school building, every single morning, we said the Pledge of Allegiance but we didn’t stop there. We read the Bible, we learned scripture like the 23rd Psalm and the Golden Rule. “Do unto others what you would have them do to you”. My question….how can that hurt anyone? Then we prayed. Can I tell you what was said in those prayers or did I understand them? No I can’t. My parents did not take us to church, ever, not even on Easter or Christmas. We did not have a Bible in our house. I did not really know who God was and I sure didn’t have any clue what The Trinity meant but I heard those words at school. The only moral compass I had to go by was those things we leaned at school along with The Ten Commandments. Maybe you don’t believe in God and you don’t want your children to be subjected to religion but my question to you is; Where are they getting their moral compass? Even though the Golden Rule can be traced to the Bible in Matthew Chapter 7, it has been claimed by almost every nation and every ethnic group. Isn’t what it says exactly what we all want? So let’s not teach THAT in school. The Ten Commandments…..now they must be really bad for us. It causes all kind of turmoil if someone hangs up a plaque with them on it. Let’s take a look…. “Honor thy father and mother”… I can see how that one can really cause some problems for children who think they should get their way about everything. “Thou shalt not kill”…This one is really bad so let’s make sure we don’t teach this one to our children. “Thou shalt not commit adultery”…Teach them about sex, give them birth control and tell them “It’s all about you”! “Thou shalt not steal”…Instead teach them just to take what they want. “You don’t have to work for it. You so deserve it”! “Thou shalt not lie”…Here is something very interesting. If you go to Wikipedia and look up the word “lie” you will be amazed at all the different terms for lying. Wonder why that is? “Thou shalt not covet”….We can’t teach that to anyone. Most of us don’t even know what it means. It means to wish for longingly what belongs to someone else. How cruel we must have been to have ever though that was a good thing to teach children in school! Our nation is celebrating our Independence and most of us will have an opportunity to say the Pledge of Allegiance at least once during this time. Do we know what the words are? Do we say it with pride and conviction? Have we taught our children the heritage that stands behind it? We may have stood back and let them take the moral compass out of schools and they may take the plaques off the wall but they can’t take it out of our hearts. It is our duty to pass it down from generation to generation. We Shall Never Forget!
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phie Woman’s Magazine
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Message From The Heart......................................pg 3 Reaching Your Full Potential................................pg 7 How To Be Fabulous............................................pg 8 JournalingThe Journey...........................................pg 11 The Fly Lady........................................................pg 13 Girlfriends In God...............................................pg 15 Health & Fitness Tips..........................................pg 16 Behind The Name................................................pg 19 The Dinner Diva..................................................pg 20 Sophisticated Women..........................................pg 23 Me, Myself, & Inc...............................................pg 27 Mandy’s Misadventurs........................................pg 28 It’s All About You...............................................pg 31 Truth & Beauty....................................................pg 32 Recipes For Life..................................................pg 33 Paper Madness.....................................................pg 35 The Wedding Planner..........................................pg 36 Shutterbuggerz.....................................................pg 38
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REACHING YOUR FULL POTENTIAL:
The Transforming Power of Spontaneous Words by Kim Fletcher, Life Coach, Author, Speaker
“Whether as a daydream or a spoken desire, nearly all of us have entertained the notion of reinventing ourselves. Feeling unfulfilled, burned out, or just plain unhappy with what we’re doing, we long to make that leap into the unknown. But we also hold on, white-knuckled, to the years of time and effort we’ve invested in our current profession.” Hermina Ibarra
Well, I took that life-altering leap over ten years ago now. I know you are waiting for the cheers of applause and for the enthusiasm to gush forth from my ‘new life.’ While there is much to celebrate in the space where one finds the freedom to live and work in their passion and gifting, there are still days where I wonder if I lost my mind. Even as I write that phrase, I realize that yes, I did lose my mind… and in the process, I captured my heart. Today, after working with a couple of coaching clients who had left me a bit drained, I placed a call to one of my closest friends. A highly acclaimed business owner herself, this friend understands the fear and anxiety that haunt those of us who have abandoned status quo for the adventurous life of entrepreneurship and leadership. While talking, I relayed a highlight of my coaching day… as I shared, the phone went silent. At first, I thought we had been disconnected. But then I heard my friend sniffle through a few quiet tears. She later told me, as I was sharing my heart for seeing this client grasp some key insights from our session, my friend had become emotional at the moment in which my story connected with her intimate awareness of my greatest passion – seeing individuals embrace who they are called to become and beginning to walk in that freedom. The collision of my story with her awareness of my truest passions created an emotional moment for her which fell from her face in the form of tears. She went on to say, “That brings tears to my eyes because that is what you are truly gifted at, empowering people to make the connection between what they desire to achieve and actually doing it. You bring connection and clarity in a way that is more powerful than anyone I have ever known. That really is YOUR GIFT!” The reason I wanted to share this story is because of what took place in my heart in the few short moments of our conversation. HOPE and CONFIDENCE began to rise in my heart. I felt energy rush into my body that had been depleted by the day’s work. In a moment of spontaneous interaction with a trusted friend, I was re-CONNECTED to my own heart, my own passion and my own reason for doing what I do every day.
Life Coaching has become more than what I do… it has become part of WHO I AM. That is the transformation which takes place when you begin walking in your true gifting. I must add an important distinction here. I am a Coach second to being a woman of faith. I can take this one step further for those of you who anchor your heart to the Lord Jesus, and remind you that when you begin to discover and live out who God created you uniquely to be, the supernatural begins to FLOW from your life. I don’t work anymore… I FLOW. When I take time to reconnect to my current vision, take my eyes off ‘what used to be’, and FOCUS on the amazing opportunities I have daily to speak life and working strategies into the lives of those around me, my days feel more like vacation with a purpose than work. May I leave you with a double-sided challenge: 1.
2.
First, take some time to inventory your heart. Is the way you are currently spending your days drawing you closer to the person you long to become? Ask yourself, what is ONE THING you could begin doing today to re-invent your days around your true gifting and your passions. Secondly, remember that our greatest positive influence is often passed along in spontaneous life-defining moments. In the coming week, tune into your own heart and to those around you. Now, begin to intentionally RELEASE the best of that which resides deep within you.
My friend had no idea that her simple words would transform my day – and even inspire this article. In fact, your day could still hold a magical moment where a simple word of encouragement, praise, or acknowledgement of something special in someone could re-direct their day and re-connect you to the best of who you were created to be. Below: More about Kim and how to contact her. Kim Fletcher is a Life Coach, Speaker and three-time Author of global impact. She and her team at Kim Fletcher Associates love bringing true transformation to the personal and professional lives of their clients. Contact her directly to learn more about her newest release, The Tension Point: Breaking Through To Where You Want To Be. email: kimfletchercoach@aol.com / web: kimfletcherassociates.com.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 7
Fabulous HOW TO BE
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Independence…What exactly does that mean?? Does it mean being financially stable? Living without a ‘need’ for others? I decided to google the word (I do miss the dictionary sometimes… remember having to actually KNOW the alphabet??). Independence, says my dictionary app, is the “freedom from the control, influence, support, aid, or the like, of others”. Hmmm…that’s kinda a double edged sword! For our country, YAY FREEDOM! But for my babies…I would prefer to keep the control…forever! Lol. However, as a parent, it’s my job to prepare them for adulthood. Otherwise known as Independence. If any of you has a teenage daughter (Sydney is now 16…see photo!), you will understand when I say “They already know everything…so my teaching is done! Lets send ‘em out in the real world!” Unfortunately, we actually love the heck out of them… so we won’t feed them to the proverbial wolves quite yet. Although after the infamous “Whatever” line that I seem to hear daily, I kinda sorta imagine them chewing off a leg…but she gets it right back!!! Haha. Did I write that out loud??? On a serious note, At the end of the day, my daughter amazes me at how much she truly does know. She is making good decisions, preparing for college, and has wonderful friends. Yes Sydney, I admit it, you’re pretty dang cool. This leads me to believe that she may be ‘cool’ fashion wise as well. Or not. See, along with everything else, we disagree on some of our clothing choices. I can not tell you how many times my sweet, cherubic angel says “Oh mom, I soooooo can not go out of the house with you wearing that. I may die.” Really??? My response… I drive up to her friends in car line and say “Check out my groovy duds!” while jammin’ Michael Jacksons PYT. Hehe…the look on their little faces is priceless, just sayin’. So what exactly IS fashionable for ALL ages?? I am gonna
pg 8 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | July 2012
by Gracie
tell you!! YES! It’s time for another ‘Gracie Survey’!!! I asked hundreds of people of all ages (gotta love facebook…) “What is a trend/fashion choice suitable for all ages?” Then I totally ignored it and wrote my own advice! Ha! Just kidding. Here are the results… #1 Wedges … Great one! They are so so stylish, yet easier to walk in (for us old folk! Lol) than stilettos! This also works for girls ‘in heel training’. #2 White Jeans … Yes! Sometimes an older woman prefers to be a little more ‘refined’ and doesn’t want to wear typical blue denim. The white dresses it up a bit! #3 The LBD … The little black dress is classic- always. My fave is the sleeveless sheath, Jackie O/Audrey Hepburn style. Accessories can make this item hip/young or elegant. It’s up to you! #4 A Blazer … This has been a staple in a fashionable woman’s wardrobe for years. The cut can make it a little trendy, or you can always stick with the basic. Best colors? Navy, black, and white…add a splash of color with a fun blouse or funky shoes! #5 Hats … Ever notice that woman wearing a great hat??? OF COURSE YOU DID! That has got to be the one accessory that draws the most positive attention. A chick rockin’ a fab hat is verrrry cool ;)…at any age. Whatever the event, there is always an appropriate topper. I tend to be partial to the cowboy hat…at which point Syd tells me that it does not ‘go’ with EVERYTHING. Ok, babygirl, maybe I will just wear the beret I got in Paris last week…(I wish you could see her face when she reads that!)
xoxo
Freedom… self reliance… independence. At some point, it’s necessary to be in control of our own lives. My daughter is starting to show all the signs of becoming a mature woman. While I have mixed feelings about letting her…haha…I am also so proud. I tell Sydney all the time that we all share the same feelings at every age. The difference is the way we react to those feelings. Experience, knowledge, and maturity change our decisions as we get older. Well, most of the time…why do I keep singing “I want to love you (PYT), pretty young thing…” Sorry Syd.
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Journaling The J urney
by Judy Smith
What kind of plans do you have for the rest of the year? Last year at this time if you had asked me that question, I would have pulled out my appointment book and pretty much gone through the rest of the year. I know I have shared a little about this but it is really something that I want others to know about people who have cancer. For the most part, I am a very upbeat, energized, go from morning till night type of person. Not since cancer. Please know that I am not telling you that for you to feel sorry for me. It is a fact for me that goes along with the chemo cocktail that I am on. Cancer effects everyone different and the chemo side effects are different as well. As sick as I get from it though, it is not as hard as not being able to do things or see all the people I want to see or even just plan “a day”. It seems as though nothing in my life is in my control. Can I screaaammmmmm? OK, I feel better. That is so hard for others to understand. Family, church, organizations, friends, work…there is always someone who wants me to do something or at least make plans to do something. It has been ten straight weeks of chemo now and seeing the doctor is never ending plus the fatigue and sickness is almost non stop. There is usually a fairly good day or two in the week and when there is, I am trying to get the absolute necessities done before my stamina is zapped. My sweet husband does as much as he can but usually I need to run to the grocery store and drug store and to be perfectly honest, I surely want to when I can. So if you ask me about my plans for the rest of the year don’t be surprised if you get the “deer in headlights look”. One thing God is teaching me in all this is that I don’t make the plans. That actually, I NEVER made the plans. I only followed through on the plans He allowed me to. Now that I have told you some of my grievances, let me tell you some of the amazing things from all of this. You know I mentioned family, friends, church, organizations and even work. How blessed I am to have such a loving network around me. They surround me with love and prayers and offers to help. It is very hard for me to let someone know I need something and I guess that is just part of the wiring God created me with but He never intended for us to be loners. They have taken it upon themselves to just do things. That has been such a wonderful blessing for me and I hope if you have someone in your life that is going through
something difficult that you will just do something. Even if you ask and they tell you they don’t need anything, well, do something anyway. My friends and family tell me they are doing it for them as well as for me. What a great time to be creative. Maybe you grow flowers and you just pick some from the garden and drop them off or maybe you have a vegetable garden. Lots of people want to take food. Well, most of my friends would be in big trouble if they were waiting on me to do food for them. I don’t cook! Maybe you don’t either, but KFC is open and taking a box lunch by is a wonderful thought. I am going to add something that is very important about that. Call first. Don’t ask if you can, just call and make sure the person is at home and take something by. Everyone tells me they don’t want to bother me but being isolated is horrible even when you don’t feel good. You don’t have to stay long; especially if it is a bad day and most of the time you will know. There are doctor appointments, treatment appointments, plus other things and that is the reason I say call first. Every Wednesday I am on the road early to go have a chemo treatment. Every Wednesday, my phone chimes and my husband and I look at each other and every single time we smile and say “Sarah”. She texts me while I am on the road. She knows I am not going to text while driving, nor do I even look at my phone. That chime lets me know she is praying for me right then. Our son-in-law has mowed our grass, our girls have made us food, brought us pizza or taken us out when I was up to it. Friends have made us cornbread, cooked us casseroles, made us a cake. Another son-in-law even cut off the stray hairs on my head but the most important thing any one has done is loved us. So I ask you again. What kind of plans do you have for the rest of the year? We are not promised our next breath much less the next day or year. However, if God gives you the opportunity, show some love to someone. A little love goes a very long way. My love to all our readers and to all the people I have met, emailed or talked to because of this thing called cancer. You are in my prayers and one thing I pray, that you have someone in your life. Don’t think you can do it alone and don’t push them away.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 11
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FlyLady THE
by Marla Cilley
Come Out of Your Cocoon and Fly! Are you having trouble getting rid of your clutter? This is just a symptom of a much greater problem. Your identity is manifested in your belongings. As a result of this, you feel that getting rid of even one book is in some why giving part of yourself away. Now hear me out. I know this is very hard for you. I have been right where you are just four short years ago. I am not as heartless as you make me out to be. I want for you, what I have; Peace. This peace came from letting go of the things that had hidden the true me. This process helped me to become MARLA, the MARLA I had never known. You see, I have always been searching for her, but she was hiding behind the books of a “Wanna Be” Lifestyle: Martha Stewart, Cooking magazines, Decorating Magazines and many other books. None of the things I wanted in my life ever happened until I got rid of my clutter. My clutter included not only these books and magazines, but numerous collections of family memorabilia that I had clung to. This STUFF was holding me back. I can hear you now. “How could this keep you from being MARLA?” This was part of your heritage. Here’s How! I was stuck in my Past and wishing for the Future and was not living in the present. OH! Poor me!!! for having a tough childhood or having lived through a bad marriage. I hoped that one day, I could have a good marriage and a wonderfully, lovely organized home. Do you see how I had planted my seeds in, “What had been soil” and “What could be soil” and I was not sowing those seeds in the “HERE AND NOW SOIL” that I was living.... My clutter was my camouflage. With it surrounding me, I did not have to deal with the NOW! I could sit and feel sorry for myself or dream of a fairy tale life.
This is when I began to take inventory of what thoughts I had when I looked at the things around me. If something did not bring a smile to my face, I got rid of it. If I had sad feelings when I saw an item, I gave it a new home, by giving it away; a new memory of giving instead of stealing my spirit. Guess what happened? My life began to change! I got rid of all the items that were holding me in the past and only surrounded myself with things that gave me JOY and filled my heart with Love! This constant influx of Love and Joy peeled back the layers of self-doubt. I emerged from my cocoon of clutter to find my wings and now I am FLYing high. So high that even in my wildest dreams, I never thought of the blessings that I have now. What is keeping your locked in your cocoon of Clutter? Are your ready to find your wings and soar with me. Peace is the journey, not the destination. Each bit of clutter you release allows you to FLY higher. COME FLY WITH ME! Let go of your cocoon! Spread your wings! Lift off to heights you never dreamed! For more help getting rid of your CHAOS, check out her website and join her free mentoring group at www.FlyLady.net or her book, Sink Reflections published by Random House and her New York Times Best Selling book, Body Clutter published by Simon and Schuster. Copyright 2012 Marla Cilley Used by permission in this publication.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 13
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ickory Tree
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pg 14 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | July 2012
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W W W. H I D E AWAY K E N N E L S N C . C O M
Time for a Change? by Mary Southerland
Today’s Truth
Isaiah 40:28-31 (NIV) Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Friend to Friend
Have you ever wanted to “freeze” a moment and make it last a lifetime? I have. I have also lived through certain moments that I wish I could change or even delete and pretend they never happened. But change is a natural part of life. We can embrace it, or we can fight it. My husband often says that the only people who really like change are wet babies. However, I have discovered that some people thrive and live for change to the point that they are “change junkies” and have little stability in life. Others dig in their heels and refuse to change a thing and ultimately become prisoners of old habits – good and bad. When it comes to change, we have a decision to make – just like the eagle. The eagle has the longest life-span among birds. It can live up to 70 years, but to reach this age, the eagle has to make a hard decision. In its’ 40s, the eagle’s long and flexible talons can no longer grab prey, which serves as food. It’s long and sharp beak becomes bent and its old and heavy wings, covered with feathers that have grown thick over the years, become stuck to its chest, making it difficult to fly. The eagle is then left with only two options: die or go through a painful process of change, which lasts 150 days. The difficult process requires the eagle to fly to a mountain top and sit on its nest. There the eagle knocks its beak against a rock until the beak falls off. The eagle will then wait for a new beak to grow back and use the new beak to pluck out its talons. When the new talons grow back, the eagle starts plucking out all of the old feathers. After five months, the eagle takes a famous flight of rebirth and lives 30 more years. Change is sometimes needed to survive. God may be asking you to step out in faith and make a change in your life. He has already been where He is asking you to go and prepared every step of the way for you. You don’t have to be afraid of the unknown. It is unknown only to you. God is well aware of where you are and of every step He is asking you to take. He may be asking you to get rid of old memories, eliminate destructive habits and forsake lifeless traditions. He is waiting for you to take one step. Faith in God does not come all at once. Faith is a step-bystep process that begins with one small step and increases as we go. An Old Testament story found in Joshua 3 illustrates this truth. The Israelites are camped on the bank of the Jordan River. Forty years earlier, they had escaped from Egypt and have been wandering around in the wilderness ever since. All of their needs have been met by God. They have seen miracle after miracle and now they can see Canaan, the Promised Land. However, there is a problem. A huge river stands between them and the Promised Land, and there is no way around it. God told His people that He would make a dry path
through the river, but the priests had never seen that happen. In fact, they hadn’t even been born when the Red Sea was parted and there were no reruns of the Ten Commandments at the local Wilderness Theatre. The Israelites had spent their entire adult lives in the wilderness and finally, they could see a way out. Oh, and one more problem -- the priests couldn’t swim. This was probably the first river they had even been close to in their lives. I can imagine their fear and questions. God was asking them to step out in faith as never before. I don’t imagine the Israelites had a great deal of faith in God at that moment, but they had just enough faith to take that first step. And that was enough. Joshua 3:15-17 (NCV) During harvest the Jordan overflows its banks. When the priests carrying the Ark came to the edge of the river and stepped into the water, the water upstream stopped flowing. It stood up in a heap. So the people crossed over. Notice that God did nothing until those toes touched the water. That first step was all God needed to see. Many times, we won’t take the first step of change because we’re afraid we won’t be able to make the whole journey. • • • •
Don’t wait until you believe it all. Don’t wait until you can see it all. Don’t wait until you understand it all. Trust God and step out in faith. He will meet you there.
Let’s Pray
Father, I come to You in faith. I will admit that change scares me because it means I have to face the unknown. I know it is a control issue, Lord. Right now, I surrender the control of my life and my journey to You. Give me the strength to step out in faith and make the changes You are asking me to make. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Now It’s Your Turn
Read Isaiah 40:28-31 again. Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. 1. 2. 3.
Make a list of the reasons we can trust God – even when facing uncertainty. Are you tired? Is God asking you to make some changes in your life? Record those changes in your journal. What one thing is keeping you from stepping out in faith? Are you willing to surrender that one thing to God right now?
Have A Blessed Day!
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 15
Exercises to Prevent Rounded Shoulders Exercise Number One- Rotator Cuff Exercise This exercise will help lengthen upper chest muscles, while shortening the muscles of the upper back and shoulder blades to help reduce the appearance of rounded shoulders. It will also help pull the shoulders up and back. Step One- Stand tall holding 3 pound dumbbells, with your arms bent at 45 degrees in front of you and elbows tucked slightly in to the waist. - Rotate the arms outward until they are facing away from your body
by Sharon Rashidi B.S. Health Education
Improve Your Posture and Appear Up To 2 Inches Taller and 5 Pounds Thinner Do you sit in a chair for hours a day, hunched over the computer? If you do, you are not alone. Millions of people around the world sit either in their home or office chairs for hours on end, which can significantly affect overall health and posture. One of the most frequently asked fitness question I get from my gym members, is it possible to improve their rounded shoulders through exercise? Not only is it possible, if they follow my posture improving exercise routine they can actually appear up to 2 inches taller and 5 pounds thinner! Slouching in your home or office chair all day long tightens the chest muscles, which internally rotates your shoulders forward. This also pulls your spine forward which can weaken your upper back muscles. Over time, you can develop Kyphosis which is a condition of extreme forward curvature of the thoracic spine. In order to correct rounded shoulders, it is important to do exercises that open the chest, strengthen the upper back, and rear shoulder muscles. Besides following my posture improving exercise routine, it is important to always be conscious of your posture. Whether you are sitting or standing, check your posture throughout the day. Pull your shoulder blades inward towards your back. As you move your shoulder blades inward, your chest will lift and tone. When sitting, keep your back firmly against the back of the chair, with your feet on the ground. Also, keep your abdominal muscles tight and tucked in; do not slouch or allow your stomach to protrude forward. At first, you are going to have to remind yourself throughout the day to stand up straight, with the shoulder blades back, and abdominals tucked in. However, if you practice everyday, it will soon become second nature to you and you will not have to remind yourself. Combine that, with the posture exercises and in a few months you will notice how slim and tall you appear.
pg 16 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | July 2012
Step 1
Step Two- Keeping your arms bent, press your hands toward the rear, as if you are trying to touch something behind you. Repeat 12-15 times for one set. Tips- Keep your shoulder blades pressed downward, and backward movement’s small, moving only a couple of inches at most. Start with 2 sets and work your way up to three sets.
Step 2
Exercise Number Two-Stability Ball Prone Back Extensions This exercise will help strengthen the upper back to help reduce the appearance of rounded shoulders. It will also help open your chest muscles. Step One- Come down on your knees and place your stomach on the ball. Extend your legs behind you. Keep your feet a little more than shoulder width apart for stability. Step Two- Place your hands on top of each other, underneath your chin and lift up and then back down towards the ball. As soon as your chest touches the ball lift back up again. Repeat 12-15 times for one set Tips- To Modify, place your hands on the ball and lift up and then back down towards the ball. Keep the neck level and do not let your chin drop down. Start with two sets and work your way up to three. To increase the intensity, reach both arms straight out and then lift up.
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pg 18 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | July 2012
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BN
ehind ame the A Short Look At Influential Women In History by Kaylyn McCarraher
Florence Nightingale
Proverbs 13:19 –“The desire accomplished is sweet to the soul”
Florence Nightingale, a name that doesn’t exactly stand out amongst a crowd. However, the woman who bared this name was one in a million. She was born in Florence, Italy (yes, she took her name from the city in which she was born) in 1820. Her family was incredibly wealthy and was able to educate her at home. Most of her teachings came from her father, a wealthy land-owner and politician. She learned to speak French, German, and Italian along with learning philosophy and mathematics. Little detail is given about Florence’s childhood but, the more biographies I read the more profound one event in her life becomes. Florence received a call at the sweet age of seventeen from a very important man. This wasn’t the average call from her daddy or uncle but, a call from none other than the Lord, our God. She said that she was called to serve and help others. At this time a job as a nurse was not “suitable” for a woman much less a woman of Florence’s wealth. Society’s stigmas did not hinder Florence’s passion. She was given a duty, a mission, a purpose and she was going to fulfill it. Against her family’s wishes she received training to become a nurse. In further rebellion she refused several different men’s hands in marriage. The way she saw it, she was doing God’s work and did not want to be distracted. In 1853, the Crimea War (Russia’s invasion of Turkey) began. With London and France being allied to Turkey their troops were sent to help defend the country. Of course the media reported the details of the conflict to the public including the astounding number of troops dying from diseases such as Cholera, Typhus, and Dysentery. Florence heard of these epidemics and was appalled at the poor care the patients were being given. She volunteered her services to the military hospitals in Turkey and was eventually given permission to put together a team of thirty-eight nurses to assist her. While at the hospital, she was given very little respect or “say so” mainly because she was a woman. Florence was passionate about getting wounded troops better living conditions so she contacted The Times newspaper and had them publicize just how insufficient the hospitals were for treatment. After this, the hospital put Florence in charge of organizing
the barracks to maximize sanitation to better treat patients. She returned to England after the war was over and was recognized as a national hero. Her pursuit to give patients quality care had inspired Queen Victoria and Prince Albert. After Florence held a long interview with them, the Army Medical College was formed. Along with inspiring the formation of the college, Florence also founded the Nightingale School & Home for Nurses at St. Thomas’s Hospital in 1860. To say the least, she raised the bar. Now, for my two cents. While reading about this incredible woman I found myself wondering about her; wishing to possess certain qualities such as she did. I thought about things such as: How incredible her relationship with God must have been for her to hear him so clearly. Man, I wish I always knew what He had planned for me. How did she find the strength to stand so strong all of the time? Golly, wouldn’t that be nice. How did she do all of this alone? I don’t believe I could. The more I thought the more apparent things came to me. Florence didn’t know what God was going to use her for, that’s why she got “a call” (Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms.-1 Peter 4:10). I also realized that Florence probably wasn’t strong all of the time (But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.-Isaiah 40:31). Lastly, she was not alone (Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.-Deuteronomy 31:6). Florence was a beautiful example of what being a steward of God really means. She took care of God’s creation to the best of her ability, she allowed God into every facet of her life. Let this be an inspiration to us. May all of you be about God’s work just as Florence was and may we all be listening for our own, special call.
Hello everyone! I am Kaylyn McCarraher and I am spending this summer here with all of you as an intern for Sophie Woman’s Magazine. I am a sophomore at Western Carolina University as well as a Golden Leaf Scholar which lead me to this amazing opportunity. Behind the Name is my little contribution to Sophie which takes a deeper look into the lives of history’s most inspirational women. I hope you all enjoy! Mcmillan, Peter. “Spartacus Educational.” Spartacus Educational. Spartacus Educational Publishers Ltd, n.d. Web. 19 June 2012. <http://www.spartacus. schoolnet.co.uk/>.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 19
Dinner Diva The
By Leanne Ely CNC
Freezer Frenzied No More!
A few years ago (quite a few years ago, actually), a new cooking trend was born - Once A Month Cooking - OAMC for short. The whole idea was to spend a day cooking, freeze what you make, then reheat it as needed; sort of DIY Stouffers concept. Great idea, soggy delivery. The proponents of this type of cooking said it only took a day to make a month’s worth of meals and you had “great” dinners that you could reheat anytime. The problem was that most of these dinners took on the watery characteristics of reheated casseroles and the flavor of the food was as lukewarm as their presentation. The other issue is time - a whole day for heaven’s sake! Who can literally take a day off from life to do this? In the early 2000’s, a new version of OAMC was born and the result was dinner assembly franchises popping up like ground hogs in the spring. Everywhere you turned in suburbia you could find several types of these storefronts. The idea of these places goes like this: come into their store, spend two hours or so assembling 12 to 15 meals from their already chopped veggies and pre-prepared ingredients, so all you have to do is put them together raw, label and freeze for cooking at a later day, thus removing the OAMC twice-baked casserole deal. The problem is it doesn’t come cheap. So what’s a time stretched harried homemaker to do? Do it yourself, of course! There is a way to do this. Here’s how: Find meals that can be assembled in their raw state, defrosted successfully, then cooked freshly. A good example of this is meatloaf. All you have to do is make your meatloaf mixture, shape it, then put it in a freezer zipper bag, mark the bag and date it, then on the day you want to use it, defrost it and bake it. You will never know that your meatloaf was previously frozen! Here is a recipe that we have on our very first Twenty for the Freezer, a downloadable menu with 20 recipes that you assemble all at once, freeze and cook later as needed. When you have a freezer full of meals like this to choose from, you will say good-bye to the drive thru forever! Enjoy!
Leanne Ely is a New York Times bestselling author of Body Clutter and the Saving Dinner series. The Dinner Diva syndicated newspaper column appears in 250 newspapers nationwide. Learn how to cook great and save significant money with the Dinner Diva?s menus, recipes and shopping lists at www.savingdinner.com
pg 20 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | July 2012
Mega Marvelous Meatloaf Serves 4 In a 1 gallon plastic freezer bag, mix and blend well together: 2/3 cup dried stuffing mix 1 egg 2/3 cup buttermilk 1 pound extra-lean ground beef 1 1/3 teaspoons garlic powder 2/3 teaspoon thyme 1/3 cup ketchup 2/3 teaspoon honey 2 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce Salt and Pepper to taste Seal the bag and blend the mixture together by squeezing and kneading the bag. Unseal the bag, starting at the bottom of the bag, roll the mixture to force out any air then seal the bag again. Insert this bag into a gallon sized plastic freezer bag and place a copy of the recipe into the 2nd bag as well and seal it. Place your label on the bag or write the name and date on the bag and place in the freezer. When you want to have this meatloaf for dinner, thaw in the fridge overnight and then: Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Place meatloaf in a loaf pan and bake for about 1 hour or until done. Per serving: 390 Calories; 24g Fat (55.7% calories from fat); 26g Protein; 17g Carbohydrate; 1g Dietary Fiber; 133mg Cholesterol; 578mg Sodium. Exchanges: 1/2 Grain(Starch); 3 1/2 Lean Meat; 0 Non-Fat Milk; 3 Fat; 1/2 Other Carbohydrates. SERVING SUGGESTIONS: Serve with mashed potatoes, steamed green beans and crusty whole wheat rolls Note: To save storage space in your freezer, place blended ingredients into a plastic storage bag and roll it up to force out any air, then seal and place in freezer.
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Sophisticated Women... Are Indepedent By Nicole Greer, PPCC Founder and Principle Coach at Vibrant Coaching
Two hundred and thirty-six years ago our nation declared independence. Fifty-six men chose freedom and signed the declaration of independence. Together, the founding fathers formulated a plan with happiness as their chief pursuit. I celebrate their independence. Hello! We all plan to celebrate their independence. But before we plan our elaborate 4th of July festivities, I suggest we stop and take a closer look at the foundation of independence. Like any sophisticated woman born and raised in the United States, culturally I have been programmed to believe that independence is the ultimate goal. Independence is defined as freedom of control, self-rule, autonomy, and self-government. Step back from this definition and really think about what our world would be like if people had the freedom to control themselves? What if people could set their own rules? What if people had complete autonomy? What if people could self-govern? The scenarios that unfold in my mind have a dualistic nature. On the one hand, if people could do whatever they wanted we would have complete chaos! On the other hand if people could do whatever they wanted we could have complete peace. Let me explain…
All of us have witnessed individuals who have claimed independence and in turn created distress, damage, and dysfunction in their wake. Take Lesley for example; an English woman who abandoned her children in the countryside of England, to pursue her dream to be a writer in London. She claims she needed to take control of her life and live by her own rules. She lives with scrutiny and questions about her morality. But… she lives alone. And we all know a story of an individual who claimed their independence and in doing so created wellness, warmth, and worthiness. Take Mother Teresa for example; who insisted that the church allow her to go to Calcutta to serve the poorest of poor. Mother Teresa built an entire ministry and legacy based on doing small things with great love! This exemplifies a beautiful declaration of independence. There is a paradox in claiming independence. Just look at the word itself. It can be broken down into two words: ‘in’ and ‘dependence’. You see in order to claim and live out independence you need to be in dependence or dependent on others. Ironic as it may seem, there is really no going it alone. The reality is that to be independent, truly free you need to have the support or in the founding father’s case the signatures of others. The founding fathers gathered in support of their collective goal to create a government that demanded that everyone is created equal. Being in dependence also means setting up an accountability system just like our Congressional system of the House and the Senate. Our founding father’s believed that power should be shared among all units of government. Independence is characterized by commitment. After the declaration was signed, then the work began. For the next eleven years, the founding fathers inspired Americans to fight for their independence. They fought together.
In the spirit of freedom, Let’s all answer these powerful questions: • • • •
What does independence look like for each one of us as individuals? Who are the people with whom we have relationships so strong that they will sign their name in agreement with our personal vision for our personal pursuit of happiness? What does our accountability system look like for each of us? What would it look like for each of us to be committed to the longterm work that is necessary for each of us live the life we declare we want?
Within the body of the Declaration of Independence, the author suggests prudence. In other words, we must take care, be cautious, and use good sense. Answering these questions makes good sense! As we answer these questions, we’ll gain clarity and be in dependence. Together let’s declare it. Share it. Ask for support. We must protect our lives, our fortunes, and our honor.
“And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.” –The Closing Line of the Declaration of Independence
At its deepest level, working with a coach frees you to indentify your birthright gifts, discern your deepest passions, and fulfill your highest purpose. A coach can pry you off dead center. As Principal Coach for Vibrant Coaching and Workshop Leader for The Lydia Group, LLC, a collaboration of individuals focused on work, life and spiritual growth, Nicole is on a mission to impact, energize, and influence people to lead a Vibrant Life by engaging the possibilities. As a life and business coach and workshop leader, Nicole views her role as a conduit to release all that you want to achieve. Join me on the PATH to move forward with authenticity, skill and confidence. www.thevibrantcoach.com/www. thelydiagroup.com
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 23
Sparklers Aren’t As Safe As They Seem Parents go above and beyond to keep their children safe, especially from burns or fire hazards. They’ll put locks and guards on ovens, check the temperature of bath water, push hot drinks to the center of the table so they cannot be tipped over and blow on hot food to cool it down. However, even the most protecting of parents might be unwittingly putting kids at risk during the summer holidays, when children often play with sparklers. Most people think that sparklers are the safest fireworks around. After all, they aren’t propelled into the sky at high speeds. Sparklers do, however, burn at temperatures between 1,100 F and 1,500 F. That’s three to five times hotter than the oven temperature required to cook many meals. The U.S. Department of Homeland Security states that sparklers are third only to bottle rockets and firecrackers as the firework most likely to cause injury to children ages 5 to 14. The American Academy of Pediatrics states that 45 percent of all firework-related injuries occurs to children under age 15, while estimates suggest that 57 percent of the firework-related injuries suffered by children under the age of 5 are caused by sparklers. Due to safety concerns, Arizona, Delaware, Georgia, New Jersey, New York, Massachusetts, and Rhode Island banned all fireworks as of 2005. That ban includes sparklers. If sparklers are legal where you live and you plan to include them in festivities, there are certain precautions to take. • • • •
Always supervise children with sparklers. Don’t give sparklers to very young children. Substitute much safer glow sticks instead. Have a water bucket handy or a pail of sand where extinguished sparkler sticks can be placed. Make sure any sparkler users are aware that wood and metal sparkler sticks can remain hot for some time, even after the burning has ceased.
pg 24 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | July 2012
A New Threat As if the dangers of individual sparklers were not enough, some people are taking even bigger risks. Spurred on by online videos and step-bystep building instructions, individuals are turning ordinary sparklers into sparkler bombs. These homemade explosives are created by binding 300 sparklers together with electrical tape and using one sparkler as a fuse. Sparkler bombs are being used to blow up everything from garbage cans to mailboxes. Sparklers are made from a pyrotechnic material and iron fillings pasted on a stick. When lit individually, the sparkler simply burns for a few seconds and fizzles out. However, when bound together, multiple sparklers produce a lot of heat and energy that has no free place to go. As a result the energy produces an explosion. Fireworks are relatively inexpensive and, as a result, they’re easily accessible to teenagers. Sparkler bombs can use more than 50 milligrams of flash powder, which is illegal under regulations established by the U.S. Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms. The ATF also warns that sparkler bombs can ignite simply through friction or excessive heat. As of May 2012, there were about 2,630 video search results on YouTube.com for “sparkler bombs.” Some towns across the country have found the problem to be an epidemic. In July 2009, a 15-year-old South Carolina boy lost his right hand and experienced extensive injuries to both his legs when trying to extinguish a sparkler bomb a friend had made. Police on the scene said the sparkler bomb also created a 3-foot by 3-foot by 1-foot crater in the ground. Manipulating fireworks of any kind is a felony in most areas. Not only does a person risk serious injury, he or she also risks a fine or jail time. Sparklers may seem to be relatively safe, but as with any incendiary device, they can cause serious injuries.
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Me, Myself, & . c In By Sherré DeMao
Are You Pursuing Success or Significance?
I recently finished reading the book UP – Pursuing Significance in Leadership and Life by Joan O. Wright, which beckons to ask, “Are you pursuing Success or Significance?” This spoke to me on many levels as my past columns have not only encouraged you to honor who you are and who you can be, but to also use your unique talents and passions to make a difference for others. In Wright’s book, she provides a mountain metaphor as an explanation for everyone’s journey towards either Success or Significance in life. Before you can reach either of these levels, Significance being the top level, you must traverse through the base level of the mountain, Survival. Where are you on this journey up the mountain towards Significance?
your achievements? Does success mean you will have material wealth and comforts that symbolize you are successful? Does personal power and financial wealth motivate you in your decisions and in the ways you achieve? If you answered yes to any of these you are focused on fame in striving for Success versus being a Master. A Master is on a quest for life purpose and achieving meaningful goals, rather than wealth, status, recognition or prizes. If you are a Master, you are driven spiritually and passionately out of a defined purpose that goes beyond you and working with others to achieve community goals as well as your own goals according to shared passions, vision, and purpose. Your achievements become less about self and more about how your expertise and excellence can make a positive difference for others. It is when you have become a Master that you advance to the next level of Significance.
The Significance Level
The Survival Level
Are you a Victim or a Victor? If you feel like everything is out of balance in your life and you don’t have control over anything, then you are caught at the Victim base of survival. But you don’t have to stay there, because you do have control of more than you realize, beginning with your thinking. While the Victim feels “woe is me” or “of being wronged” based on things that have happened to them in the past, the victor is focused on the present and the future, taking responsibility and action to overcome challenges and make positive progress. The Victor has the “HOPE” that I talked about in my April column and the “CAN DO” I talked about in my June column. In order to elevate to the level of Success, you must leave the Victim behind and be a Victor in your life.
The Success Level
Are you a Limelighter or a Master? As a Victor, you now have the confidence to begin to achieve, and therefore, your focus can now be on success versus survival. The Success level is the achievement level where you will evolve into being a Limelighter or a Master. The Limelighter is caught up in the fame and glory of success. The Master is focused on expertise and excellence as a gauge of success. Is your idea of success all about being publicly recognized and visibly rewarded for
Are you a Top Gun or a Sherpa? In the Significance level, you have entered a realm beyond achievement into creating a legacy that lives beyond you, making a sustainable, impactful difference. The rewards of reaching this level are joy, satisfaction, feeling aligned with what you were always meant to be doing, and having a purpose that speaks to the betterment of a community of people and not just your own betterment. At this level, you can be either a Top Gun or a Sherpa. The Top Gun is a person who is “best in” their chosen profession. They are the top in their field of expertise and revered as such. The lasting legacy that is created by the Top Gun is motivated by being remembered and recognized for the difference made. This person desires to be the “hero” of the day, decade, or eternally. They are prestigious and viewed as powerful, in total control of their destiny and whatever they set out to do. The Sherpa is a quantum shift towards reaching a level of significance that is beyond self motivation to others motivation. Their legacy is built on the empowerment and engagement of others to continue to give their passion, purpose and difference being made wings to soar to even greater heights long after they are gone. No rewards, self benefit or recognition are necessary for the Sherpa – only the satisfaction of contributing to making the world a better place for everyone. As we get caught up in the everyday hustle and bustle of our lives, we can easily forget the impact we have on a daily basis in the lives we touch and interact with along the way. Our goals and ideals of success motivate us as we strive towards achieving all that we set out to do. Our reward in these achievements is that we will have a satisfying life according to what we have defined as success. Defining our significance, however, is the pinnacle reward that reaches far beyond success and into the realm of leaving the world a better place. That not only feels good, it creates and inspires goodness that lives on. ** Bio: Sherré DeMao inspires millions through her monthly columns, weekly Insight eZine and national contributing writing. An expert strategist and marketer focused on entrepreneurs, her unique perspective and innovative approach has earned numerous awards regionally, nationally and internationally including being named among the Top 50 Enterprising Women of North America in 2007. Her books, Me, Myself & Inc. (www.memyselfandinc.com) and 50 Marketing Secrets (www.50marketingsecrets.com) have received national acclaim as Top Business Shelf picks and must reads.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 27
s e r u t n e v d a s i M ’s y d n a M
by Mandy Thomas
I went back to work.
Maybe that was insane of me, I don’t know, but the whole “talking to myself in very public venues” thing was getting kind of weird. Plus, I’m not entirely sure that people were so impressed with my extensive knowledge about all things Sesame Street. I mean, I personally thought it was cool that I could speak like Elmo - it always makes my girls laugh - but everyone else kept looking at me like I was weird or something. Their loss.
But, I digress. I went back to work, taking a job in a bookstore where I used to work in high school. I’ve really enjoyed being given an excuse to talk to people, as well as having a very small very paid - break from my normal routine. I once joked with my boss that I would be one of the happiest workers she had, and that has kind of been the case each and every time. Which is not to say that I don’t miss my kids; I’ve had a hard time leaving Addison with her dad while I do the whole working woman thing. Mostly because I know that he’ll feed her candy for breakfast if I don’t set cereal out, and that her hair will look like something sported by a rabid wildebeest because he really can’t get the hang of the hair brush. Now that Savannah’s out of school, I’m sure he’ll let her pick out her own clothes and I know exactly what that will lead to - a mismatched, too small, and very strange ensemble that I cannot
let her be seen in because I love her too much to let her have those mortifying memories. And before you judge me, let me say that my own dear mother let me out of the house wearing some ill fitting outfits and then took pictures of the horror I had pieced together. She knows that I’m upset about this, though I have never been able to find her “glamour shots” hiding spot. Really, though, the unexpected and best part of going back to work has been seeing the way that years and experience have changed me. More than that, even; it has been the knowledge that my little family has made me a better, stronger person than I had ever imagined I could be. At sixteen, my work ethics consisted of slinking in the shadows and getting the job done so that I could go home and mentally berate myself for whatever idiotic thing I’d said or done that day. Usually, the “idiotic thing” was just me dropping things or tripping over my words (in one case, I had called a customer to let them know their order was in, and in lieu of the “thank you and have a good day,” I thoughtlessly mumbled “In Jesus’ name I pray, amen.” It was a week before I had the courage to try again). Now, I just don’t care. Which is not to say that I don’t try to succeed in my job or that I’m careless, it’s just more that after marriage and childbirth, I seem to have lost whatever shred of timidity that I possessed. I suppose that when half the doctors in the southern hemisphere have seen you with your pants down, or when your baby decides to check to make sure your stomach is still there in the middle of Walmart (which in turn caused me to flash the entire produce section), it makes it easier to ask someone if they need help looking for a book, now doesn’t it? And I won’t even mention the first time I was sick to my stomach in front of my brand new husband. But there’s more to it than just that. There’s also the knowledge that no matter what I do or say, no matter how I trip up or what I accomplish, my family is there to catch and love me. I understand the importance of that love now more than I ever could have as a gangly, young girl trying to find her spot in the crowd. Which is why my mom can keep those horrific pictures. It isn’t like I don’t have a few good stories to tell about her, now is it?
pg 28 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | July 2012
Women Surpass Men In Tech Buys
Though men might be more commonly associated with buying gadgets, the tech industry is not as much of a boy’s club as one may think. Aside from one consumer electronic category, women are the consumers most likely to shop for tech toys. When it comes to smartphones, laptops and tablets, more women than men can be found waiting in those long lines outside the big electronics stores. At the 2012 Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas, HSN noted that women expressed more interest in many of the hottest electronic gadgets than men. Women have shown more interest in tablets, laptops and smartphones, and are two to three percent more likely to make purchases than their male counterparts. The only category where men make up a larger percentage of interested parties is with the intent to purchase flatscreen LCD televisions. Parks Associates, a marketing intelligence firm, was in charge of gathering information from female and male consumers and drawing conclusions about their intentions. The Dallas-based firm collected surveys from around 2,000 adults in late 2011 and found that women are more interested in tech gadgets than men. Furthermore, research indicates that after purchasing a top tech gadget, women are more inclined than men to learn about the device, participating in digital media offerings, like watching movies online or playing games with phones or tablets. These result might question conventional wisdom, but are not necessarily that surprising. A survey commissioned by Rebtel, a mobile voice over IP provider, found that women are more likely to use social media than men. More than 60 percent of women use
social media to stay in touch with their friends and family members. This reality could be fueling women’s greater interest than men in devices that enable social media and digital communication. What’s more, it has long been known that women are the primary consumer decision-makers in the home, and more and more women are now flexing their purchasing power in the tech market. Although personal use gadgets are at the top of the list for women’s purchases, females have also shown a growing interest in tech-powered appliances and other home-related convenience items. The stereotype that tech items are a guy thing is quickly becoming a thing of the past. Women are at the forefront in gadget purchases and becoming the prime decision-makers on these types of purchases.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 29
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hickoryplasticsurgery.com pg 30 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | July 2012
“Serving The Unifour Area Since 1984”
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GREAT WAYS TO FIND YOUR PERSONAL DESIGN STYLE
I recently stayed at the Hotel Allegro in Chicago and was impressed by the interesting décor. This was an award winning boutique hotel in the Theatre District-close to the downtown Loop and City Hall. In addition to the usual amenities to make guests feel at home, the hotel was petfriendly and a Zumba class was offered on Wednesday afternoons. The design statement of the hotel drew inspiration from the name “allegro” (a brisk and cheerful music tempo, according to Wikipedia). In keeping with the hotel’s rich history, rooms were small and the bathrooms were tiny. The hotel’s wallpaper, carpets, and fabrics included many graphic patterns and bright colors. The furniture was modern and exciting and some pieces were adorned with music notes. The atmosphere was bright and cheery-a great place to hold a convention, spend a week of sight-seeing or simply meet friends. Many dollars were spent making sure that the guests had positive memories-not only through the great service, but through the overall experience and surroundings. Many hotels and businesses have design themes, also called “design statements”. These portray the idea that the company wishes to convey to existing and potential customers. They usually are consistent with their branding and advertising. Look around and you’ll see design themes in many places-your favorite coffee shop, your lawyer’s office, your church, and many places you frequent. How does this affect you? You can also have a design statement in your home or business. This theme portrays the image you wish others to have of you or the lifestyle you desire. For example, you might want the image of a posh home in a gated community with a well-manicured lawn. The interior of that home might feature beautiful priceless antiques, valuable oil paintings, and fine rugs. Another theme might be a rustic mountain home with Swiss-style window boxes and stone and wood exterior. The interior would feature warm , cozy colors and textures. Celtic wool plaid for window treatments might mix with locally -made log furniture. To complete the room, large leather sofas with nail heads would give a “big lodge” look when mixed with plush rugs with tribal motifs. Many years ago, a client gave me her color chart from “Color Me Beautiful”. She wanted to look as nice in her home as in the fashions that she wore. She wanted to be surrounded by items that made her look, and thus function, her best. This was part of her design statement. Another client wanted an up-scaled “bohemian” look with an interesting red, purple, gold, and lime green color scheme. These colors were combined with folk art and sheer fabric room dividers. The look was eclectic –meaning a mix of many different styles. Furniture, rugs, and accessories from all over the world gave the area a “gypsy style”. And yet another client wanted a sparse look with harsh colors and uncomfortable seating. He did not wish guests to feel at home or stay too long. Colors used were black, grey and white. Furniture was sleek and modern. The kitchen was stainless steel with black cabinets-long before this look was popular. This was quite a unique design statement for our area!
Do you desire your home or office to have a theme that portrays your story-including who you are, who you want to be, your lifestyle, or who you want others to think you are? Here are some ideas to help you find your personal design statement: 1. Pinterest- Many of us have lots of fun creating and sharing ideas of food, fashion, quotes, DIY craft projects, and home ideas on Pinterest. Look at your boards in the fashion and interior furnishings areas. They may show a consistent style that connects everything that you love. Use this common thread to find a style for your personal home or office. If you are not on Pinterest, it is very fun but can be addictive. Set the timer and keep your habit under control! 2. Magazines- keep a file with photos of rooms and ideas that interest you from your favorite magazines. Make notes on the things in a room that appeal to you. If you really are passionate about this, you might make separate files of kitchens, bedrooms, baths, living rooms, and outdoor spaces. This will help you later when you are ready to work with a design professional or own your own. 3. Possessions-look at things you love that you already own and determine if there is a common theme. Both your wardrobe and furnishings might already find inspiration from the sea or nature. You might consistently have a “big city” look with blacks, grays, and graphic patterns. 4. Travel- Collect art and home furnishings when you travel to your favorite vacation spots. These might inspire you to find a common theme in your décor. Depending on the stress of your profession, you might need a vacation feel when you come home from work! 5. Colors-make note of colors that you love-whether bold or pale. If you like bright colors but are afraid to use them in a room; use them in small amounts as accents. Paint one wall in a fun color and keep the other walls subdued. Use bright colored pillows with bold patterns on a neutral sofa. If you are not intimidated by color, go for it! 6. Friends-ask a close friend what he or she thinks your design theme might be. They are often objective and see something in your personal style that you might miss. The advantage of a home or office with a theme is that it is easier to have a unified design. When you are beginning your design project, you will most likely save time and money if you have an idea of where you are going and what your personal theme might be. Have fun and enjoy the process of learning more about yourself! In this case, it is all about you! Susan Guest, ASID is an award-winning interior designer in Hickory and owner of Guest Interiors, LLC. She is one of the designers featured in “Spectacular Homes of the Carolinas”, found in high-end bookstores around the country. For more information, visit www.guestinteriors.com.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 31
TRUTH
& BEAUTY
by Teresa Pope, Esthetician
Question: I will be attending a July 4th celebration that will start around 2:00 in the afternoon with a cookout and swimming pool party and then end later that night with a fireworks display. My question is this....how do I dress for both and keep my hair and make-up looking good thru out the day and evening? Answer: Just remember that “less is best” for your hair and make-up. If your hair is long, a ponytail or a loosely twisted bun is a great summer look. Just wear your hair down or in a ponytail for the cookout and pool party and then loosely twist it up for the evening. Leave a small piece hanging out in the front and a couple of small pieces in the back to make it look “effortless” but cute. You can curl or smooth out the tendrils with your finger. If your hair is short, practice a “wet look” before going to the event. When your hair is wet, finger comb it into place and let it air dry to see the finished look. Remember, your going to a summer pool party, not an elegant affair, so your hair should fit the occasion and look “summery, carefree, and even a little messy. When you get out of the pool, finger comb as you practiced and let dry. With that in mind, your air dried hair should look totally appropriate for a cookout. As for your make-up. Don’t wear foundation, it will only melt off in the summer heat. If you feel naked without it, use a tinted moisturizer and or a tinted face powder. This will give you a little bit of coverage and help keep your face from oiling up in the heat. Use a waterproof eyeliner and mascara and a pale lipstick or gloss, and nothing else. Eyeshadow, blush, concealers, highlighters etc. are too much for such an informal affair, and too hard to keep looking good in the summer heat. Finally, as to, what to wear. Just dress comfortable. I would suggest wearing your swimsuit under a pair of shorts or Capri’s and a cute summer blouse, and for the evening switch into a long (or short) summer sundress, and flat sandals. With all that being said, my best suggestion is not to worry about how you look, just go out and have some great summer fun!
pg 32 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | July 2012
Recipes for ife
L
by Emily Wickham
Food for the Body Ice Cream Cake (Adapted from Rist family recipe)
Generally speaking, we all like to please people when we prepare meals or desserts. And trust me, this cake will make you popular with many. Even those who say they don’t care for coffee ice cream truly enjoy this frozen delight. However, pleasing people with food is one thing – living life as a people pleaser is another. The Lord has been showing me my tendency to be a people pleaser. Ouch! It hurts to confess that. But I find it easier to smile and agree rather than speak my mind in certain situations. I don’t want to be contrary or cause any problems. So, I stay quiet and pray a lot. There’s certainly nothing wrong with quietness and prayer, yet if my motivation is to avoid dealing with a problem or to keep someone happy at all costs, these responses are likely incomplete. The irony is this: when we try to please others, we can end up not pleasing anyone. Those we seek to satisfy are sometimes never satisfied, which leads us to resentment and frustration. Worse yet, God’s desires aren’t considered as we anxiously attempt to protect ourselves from others’ displeasure or dislike. So what urges us to please others to this extent? FEAR.
¾ package double-stuff Oreos 4 Tbsp. butter, melted ½ gallon coffee ice cream 16-24 oz. hot fudge topping 8 oz. cool whip, thawed
Though various reasons exist, fear tops the list. Proverbs 29:25 states, “The fear of man brings a snare, But he who trusts in the LORD will be exalted.” When we allow fear of someone’s response to dictate our words or behavior, we fall into the snare of people pleasing and thus display trust in ourselves rather than trust in God. Another ouch.
Step 1: Crush cookies into fine crumbs, put into 9x13 dish, and mix with melted butter. Press mixture evenly over bottom of dish and freeze for approximately 2 hours.
Furthermore, God’s first commandment to the Israelites instructed them to “have no other gods before Me” (Exodus 20:3). When we place another’s desires above God’s, we’re in effect making their wishes more important than His. And that’s a form of idolatry. Triple ouch.
Step 2: After 1½ hour, remove ice cream from freezer to thaw on counter for 10 minutes or until soft. Then, take the frozen Oreo crust and carefully cover it with ice cream. Freeze overnight. Step 3: Warm hot fudge until spreadable, and gently spoon on top of frozen crust/ice cream combo. (This part is tricky – you’ll probably be unable to cover surface completely, but spread fudge as thinly as possible.) Return to freezer for 3-4 hours. Step 4: Spread cool whip on top and re-freeze for another 2 hours. To serve: Place bottom of dessert dish in warm water for about 5 minutes to help the crust come out easily. Cut into serving pieces and enjoy!
A Prayer for God’s Blessing Loving Father in heaven, You are gracious and faithful. I confess my fear of man, which often plagues me and leads me astray. Thank You for being my Audience of One. Please deliver me from my tendency to overlook Your desires in my efforts to please people. I also request that You replace my fear with courage. In Jesus’ precious and holy name, Amen.
Food for the Soul My mom discovered this delicious dessert when a neighbor served it to our family. Though the original recipe contained chocolate frosting rather than fudge, we all loved it – especially because our family is partial to coffee ice cream. My mom, sisters, and I have adapted it to our individual tastes over the years, but the basic recipe remains the same.
Thankfully, God graciously reveals truth in stages. He doesn’t expect us to tackle this problem all at once and never slip again. When we fail, His grace picks us up and encourages us to continue on. Let’s remember 1 Corinthians 10:13 the next time we’re tempted to people please: “No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide a way of escape also, that you may be able to endure it.” We’re never alone, yet we answer to God alone. We should seek to please Him above all others as Scripture teaches, “… walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, to please Him in all respects …” (Colossians 1:10). Recognizing God as our “Audience of One” frees us from the snare of people pleasing, and His grace enables us to move forward step by step.
Until next time, that’s a Recipe for Life …
Emily Wickham, published author, speaker, and founder of Proclaiming Him to Women Ministries, gently yet powerfully presents God’s Word. She encourages and equips women by exalting Christ through inspirational, practical Bible teaching. Visit www.proclaiminghimtowomen.com to read Emily’s blog devotionals and to learn more about life in Christ. Emily welcomes speaking opportunities at women’s events such as retreats, luncheons, and conferences. Please e-mail emily@proclaiminghimtowomen.com. Emily resides in western NC with her husband and their four children.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg33
If YOu ARE HAvINg A HEART ATTACk, mINuTES CAN mEAN THE dIffERENCE bETwEEN LIfE ANd dEATH.
CHOOSE THE AREA’S ONLY
aCCreDiteD Chest pain Center
Frye is the first hospital in the Greater Hickory Metro Area to receive Chest Pain Center Accreditation. Hospitals that receive accreditation have achieved a higher level of expertise in treating patients who arrive with symptoms of a heart attack, meet strict criteria aimed at reducing the time from the onset of symptoms to diagnosis, and are able to treat patients more quickly during the critical window of time when the integrity of the heart muscle can be preserved.
your region’s heart hospital pg 34 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | July 2012
828-315-3391
P
d ss
aper Ma ne by Jennifer Brunham
Paper, paper, everywhere! Paper drives me crazy! There is a never ending stream of paper “stuff” coming through the door. Newspapers to read daily, junk mail, important mail, kids school papers, kids school projects like handprint turkeys. The key to managing this is setting up a system for tackling it when it comes in. A landing zone, or communication station, is the perfect way to do this.
•
7.
Deal with it when it comes in the door: 1. 2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
Build time into your day to deal with the mail, important papers, and bills Create a spot for each member of the family to drop off paperwork • Bulletin boards • Magnetic boards • Magazine racks hanging on the wall • Label each board or rack with a name tag • Personalize the space and make it fun! • Have kids & hubby use the inboxes or boards to deposit any papers that require your attention Add a calendar to keep up with family member activities • Use different colors for each person • Jot down events that involve multiple family members (Suzy’s soccer game, David’s piano lesson) Add some pizzazz with another board for pictures and group invites • This can be another bulletin board (painted or covered in fabric) • Keep an enveloped tacked to the board to stash coupons and gift certificates. Grab it on your way out the door! Keep a trash can, shredder, and recycling bin close by • Shred anything with personal information (junk mail, credit card solicitations) • Recycle junk mail and advertisements Create a system for you {Mom} • A tiered file sorter would work great • Inbox, Outbox, To Read
8.
9.
Magazines, coupon books, and the like should go in To Read • Clean that bin out monthly • Papers that have been signed should go back in your little ones inbox or backpack Display children’s artwork on the refrigerator or “Accomplishments Board” for a week • At the end of the week, clear the board off • Place each piece of artwork in a photo box for each child • At the end of the school year or twice a year (Christmas break and summer break), go through the box with your little one ◊ Have them pick out the 5 best things to keep from the year ◊ Place those items in a photo album, labeled accordingly ◊ Recycle the rest “Accomplishments Board” • This can be something fun to create for your kids. Use a bulletin board covered in fabric or painted a bright color • Hang in the hallway or play room • Display artwork, assignments, report cards, awards, etc • If you have several children then you might need a large board • Let you kids know that every accomplishment will be on display for a week -- after that it goes into the memory box • Kids love this! And it keeps your refrigerator clear of everything that comes through the door Make sure you have an organized “back office” to file and store everything that has been accounted for but needs to be kept (paid bills, insurance papers, etc)
Jennifer Burnham Pure & Simple Organizing
www.facebook.com/PureandSimpleOrg
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 35
by Mackey Carpenter So you don’t have a lot of money. These days, who does? Unless your last name is Trump or Hilton, chances are you’ll be looking for bargains. Even some people with unlimited budgets look to see where the deals are. We’re going to touch on just a few of the major issues. When looking for the perfect wedding gown, don’t be pressured into something just because the tag says 50% off the original price of $1000 for example. Remember, if it sounds too good to be true, it usually is. Be cautious if the dress is dirty, getting a wedding dress cleaned can make up the difference between the discounted price and full retail. Inspect it THOROUGHLY! Sale dresses are sold as is. A few missing beads may just be the tip of the iceberg. Sometimes the best deals can be found at smaller bridal shops and consignment stores. And although you can find great bargains at the big box bridal stores, their employees are on commission. So take someone you would trust with your life for a second opinion. Bridesmaids’ dresses are another issue altogether. This may take a little more footwork. Most brides have an idea if some of their bridesmaids might have a money issue. And if you’re not sure, ask! Do keep in mind all their body types when shopping. And unless it’s a basic black dress, chances are it will never be worn again. Be wary of shopping online. The pictures usually don’t accurately portray what you are getting. You have so many options with flowers. And unless you know someone personally, you need to shop around. A lot! When talking to a florist, ask to see photos of their past work and references. Most keep albums of their work. Some brides have very talented family members that can do this for them. Fresh
pg 36 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | July 2012
flowers tend to be more expensive and can’t be done too far ahead of time. But if money is tight and you really have your heart set on fresh flowers, consider grocery stores or places like Sam’s Club. Sometimes all you need to do is to secure the stems and cut them off. There are so many silk flowers that look real these days and more brides are going with that option. Buy sale or use coupons that so many of the stores are offering. The food for the reception can eat up (pun) a lot of the budget. If you are doing a buffet, put the least expensive items first and finish with the most expensive. Example: baskets of bread, vegetables, fruit and cheese, then the meats and seafood. I have actually seen a guest have nothing on his plate but a pile of shrimp. And as rude as that may be, that is reality. If you time your wedding around mealtime, your guests will expect a meal. A wedding planned at one or two in the afternoon can offer light hors d’oeuvres at the reception. And a few other things to offer that aren’t budget busters-a variety of pickles, pasta salad (some have pasta bars), quiches (so many flavors)and different salsas with chips. Doing a great tablescape can make food look more appetizing. Vary the height of the platters and put several baskets with a variety of breads. And don’t forget butter, maybe flavored with fresh orange zest and honey, or strawberry. A container with one seasonal fruit (strawberries, mixed melon balls) looks better than a tray of scantily cut fruit. There are so many travel agencies that offer all-inclusive honeymoons. Make sure to book way ahead of time with a REPUTABLE company. Check them out. Ask friends. If you are doing the booking yourself, make sure it’s with a company that has a really good reputation. Bon Voyage!
HOW TO BE A GRACIOUS WOMAN Jennifer’s wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement - not even her parent’s nasty divorce. Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear, and would be the best-dressed mother-of-the-bride ever! A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father’s new, young wife had bought the exact same dress as her mother! Jennifer asked her father’s new young wife to exchange it, but she refused. “Absolutely not! I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I’m wearing it,” she replied. Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, ‘’Never mind sweetheart. I’ll get another dress. After all, it’s your special day.’’ A few days later, they went shopping, and did find another gorgeous dress for her mother. When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, ‘’Aren’t you going to return the other dress? You really don’t have another occasion where you could wear it.” Her mother just smiled and replied, ‘’Of course I do, dear.....I’m wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night BEFORE the wedding.’’
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www.thepeacockinn-newton.com www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 37
Our Monthly Feature
shutterbuggerz
Photos from our June 2012 Contest.
Photo Submitted By: Elements Photography
Local Photos of Everyday people, places, and events as seen through the eyes of the area's professional and amateur photographers!
s h u t t e r b u g g e r z . c o m Visit the website to view all the photos to enter your photo into next monthâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s contest. pg 40 | Sophie Womanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Magazine | Juneand 2012 38
Photo Submitted By: As We See It Photography
Photo Submitted By: Christina Thompson
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Visit the website to view all the photos to enter your photo into next month’s contest. pg 40 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | Juneand 2012 40
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