Sophie Woman's Magazine June 2013 Issue

VOLUME 9 - ISSUE 4 / JUNE 2013

S

phie

Wo m a n ’ s M a g a z i n e

INSIDE: Girlfriends In God ~ How Important Are Your Possessions? | Page 14 Reaching Your Full Potential ~ Are You Able To Stop For THE ONE? | Page 7 Me, Myself, & Inc. ~ Are You Allowing Your Creative Self Through? | Page 27 shutterbuggerz pg 39

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from the

From The Editor: Judy Smith

Everyone is going to the beach! Except me. What is wrong with that picture? It is like looking at a Where’s Waldo puzzle and there is no Waldo there. So here I am struggling with covetousness.

I cannot give in so I am doing mind games with myself. I am giving myself a positive message.

There will be no sunburn for me. No sand in my shoes to wear a blister. No danger of the tides pulling me out to sea, lost forever and ever. I can’t be eaten by a shark or a giant blood sucking mosquito. I will not have to pay $5 for a bottle of cold salt free water.

Who am I kidding? I want to go to the beach with everyone else. I want to go “Under the Boardwalk”, get some “Sand in my Shoes”, just have some relaxing “Myrtle Beach Days”. After all, “Carolina Girls” want to “Stay” at the beach. In case you don’t know, those are all song titles that I want to go shag to.

Ahhh…but I have my memories. Maybe I will go buy a kiddie pool, put it on my deck, spread a bag or two of sand around, put in a CD and have my memories there. The big problem with that is I cannot duplicate the ocean breeze that I love so much. And the people watching. I can’t do that on my deck.

After a couple of weeks the wife said, “Honey, have you ever noticed that she only goes up to people with boom boxes and other electronic devices?” He hadn’t and said so. Then she said, “Tomorrow I want you to get a towel and our big radio and go lie out on the beach. Then we can find out what she’s really doing.”

Well, the plan went off without a hitch and the wife was almost hopping up and down with anticipation when she saw the girl talk to her husband and then leave.

The man walked up the beach and met his wife at the road.

“Well? Is she selling drugs?” she asked excitedly. “No, she’s not,” he said, enjoying this probably more than he should have. “Well?

What is it, then? What does she do?” his wife fairly shrieked. The man grinned and said, “She’s a battery salesperson. “Batteries?” cried the wife. “Yes,” he replied. “She sells C cells by the sea shore.”

So make sure you take your sunscreen, bug spray, your boom box and some C batteries and please watch out for those sharks.

So if you are one of the lucky ones that are going to the beach would you think of me while you are there and if you see any interesting things going on, maybe you will share them with me when you get back. Here is a joke for you to share with others you might run into while you are there.

A couple lived near the ocean and used to walk the beach a lot. One summer they noticed a girl who was at the beach pretty much every day. She wasn’t unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried, except for one thing; she would approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance around furtively, then speak to them. Generally the people would respond negatively and she would wander off, but occasionally someone would nod and there would be a quick exchange of money and something she carried in her bag. The couple assumed she was selling drugs, and debated calling the cops, but since they didn’t know for sure they just continued to watch her.

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Message From The Heart......................................pg 3 Reaching Your Full Potential................................pg 7 Outdoor Home Solutions......................................pg 8 The Front Porch......................................................pg 11 The Fly Lady.........................................................pg 13 Girlfriends In God................................................pg 14 Health & Fitness Tips...........................................pg 16 Summer Pet Care Tips.........................................pg 18 Truth & Beauty.....................................................pg 20 Sophisticated Women...........................................pg 23 The Important Things In Life.................................pg 24 Me, Myself, & Inc................................................pg 27 The Dinner Diva..................................................pg 28 Impressions From High Point.............................pg 31 Recipes For Life...................................................pg 33 The Vows.............................................................pg 35 Making Progress In A Crazymaker Marriage....pg 37 Shutterbuggerz.....................................................pg 39

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REACHING YOUR FULL POTENTIAL: STOP for the ONE!

by Kim Fletcher, Life Coach, Author, Speaker

“We know only too well that what we are doing is nothing more than a drop in the ocean. But if the drop were not there, the ocean would be missing something.” Mother Teresa These words are startling when the source is considered, words spoken by a missionary to Calcutta who turned her back on her own inheritance to serve the poorest of the poor. Her work changed a nation and her legacy is still rippling around the world.

I have come to appreciate the work of this tiny woman through one of my personal heroes of the Christian Faith. Her name is Heidi Baker and she is a modern-day missionary to the nation of Mozambique where she and her husband Rolland oversee IRIS Ministries. If you Google her name, you will find many comparing her to Mother Teresa. Heidi is also a tiny woman who walked away from the wealth of Laguna Beach, California to follow God to remote corners of the world where she exclaims she has learned more from sitting in the dirt loving on the poor than she learned while studying for her PhD. Heidi teaches that we should “STOP FOR THE ONE.” As she mentors young missionaries and speaks to audiences around the world, she is constantly reminding us that “love looks like something”.

I was blessed to sit at this amazing woman’s feet for hours at a recent conference in Raleigh, NC where she shared countless stories of her life in Africa where she has seen over one million people come to know Jesus and where countless others have received physical healing and deep inner healing.

I thought of Heidi last week while having coffee at a local establishment, as a gentleman came in alone with his white-tipped cane. He clearly knew his way around, courageously finding his unsighted way to the counter to place his order. Once at the counter, I first noticed him when he asked, “Is there anyone to my right?”

He was obviously trying to orient himself to his surroundings and I waited to hear the man’s reply standing just inches from his cane.

The man said NOTHING. I was shocked. He did not even reply, despite looking directly at the gentleman, which told me he heard him.

The visually-impaired gentleman stood still so as to not intrude on anyone’s space. A moment was lost forever where this other gentleman could have offered kindness and respect with a simple reply.

The woman at the counter stepped in confidently, taking his order and asking if he needed anything else. He proudly replied, “No, thank you.” Then he began his journey to find a seat to enjoy his coffee.

His companion at the counter practically plastered himself silently to the wall as if determined to not be detected. A couple of other

people stepped awkwardly out of the way as the cane went “tip, tip, tip” toward the dining room. He was now headed right toward my table, making a slight wrong turn and bumping into a table where a restaurant employee was taking a break and texting away on her smart phone. As his cane tapped the edge of her table, he intuitively remarked, “Please excuse me.” He received no reply as she gave him a displeased glance.

I was excited that his path was moving in my direction. As he grew close enough, I simply looked his direction and said, “Good morning, Sir.” He smiled and said, “Good morning, Friend.”

He took a seat and enjoyed his coffee alone while receiving many curious, if not rude, stares. He received no greetings, no smiles and no offers for assistance.

He finished his coffee and made his way back toward my table, taking a slightly wrong turn and heading straight for the kitchen. Just as I was about to ask if he needed a slight course correction, another employee took him lightly by the arm and joked, “Do you want us to put you to work today? You are headed in the kitchen.” The lighthearted exchange broke the tense atmosphere and showed the nearby customers how simple it is to “stop for the one.”

Back on track, his path headed straight toward my table as a couple next to me developed a look of panic that he might bump into them.

When he was close enough, I said, “Here is your friend. Just let me know if you need anything.” He gladly accepted and asked if I could point him toward the door.

I watched him cross a four-lane highway and head for the bus stop.

I also watched a room full of people miss their moment to shine.

Which type of person are you when someone in need comes near?

Do you plaster yourself to the wall hoping to not be noticed? Do you shy away and avoid the situation? Or do you reach out with a light heart?

Our Western world has almost forgotten how to “STOP FOR THE ONE.” We have taken self-sufficiency and our space to a level that leaves little room to love, bless or even respect those whom our society has deemed “less valuable.” Your acts of love and kindness may only feel like a drop in the ocean. But to someone who is thirsty, that drop might be the difference between life and death. “Stop for the one!”

About Kim...

Kim Fletcher is a Life Coach, Speaker and three-time Author of global impact. Contact her directly to learn more about her newest release, The Tension Point: Breaking Through To Where You Want To Be. 828 327 0749 / email: kimfletchercoach@aol.com / web: kimfletcherassociates. com. To learn more about the inspiration for this article, Heidi Baker, visit: www.irisglobal.org or go to YouTube to hear her video messages.

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 7

(Family Features) In the warmer months, we find ourselves outside more often, enjoying nature while playing with the kids and maintaining our lawns. But this additional time spent outside means more home & garden tools and more opportunity for a mess. Here are some simple tips to keep your outdoor spaces cleaner and more organized: Storage Bench - Use a storage bench to keep your gardening gloves, tools and children’s outdoor toys. Available in a wide variety of sizes and styles, you can find the bench that fits your décor. Plus, they offer an extra seating area when you have company.

Bundle Cords - No one likes the unsightly appearance or hazard of cords. Before your gatherings, bundle together stereo and electronic chords that are exposed, as well as any cords that run across the lawn.

Helpful products, such as Velcro One-Wrap ties, keep your items bound tight and out of sight.

Paver Pots - Use old pavers to create plant containers. Simply stack the pavers together making a square shape. The heavy weight of the pavers keeps the dirt and plant contained together.

Out door Home Solut ions

pg 8 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | June 2013

Deck Space - Use the space under your deck for additional, out-ofsight storage. Tuck plastic lidded storage containers underneath for easy access to children’s sporting goods and toys.

Mesh Bags - Pool toys, rafts and inner tubes need a space to dry off.

Use mesh bags so these summer toys properly are properly dried, preventing mildew or molding.

Proper Plant Care - Stock up on essentials for a healthy garden, including the tools to make plant seedlings thrive, such as Velcro Peel Away seed pots. These pots make it easy to remove the pots without disturbing the roots, making transitions from pot to flower bed flawless.

Repurpose Furniture - Turn old furniture pieces, such as old filing cabinets, into instant garage storage solutions. Take out the drawers of the cabinet and turn it on its side. Each empty drawer area provides a spot for large items like brooms, shovels and rakes.

Fence Storage - Turn old coffee or paint cans into storage bins for smaller gardening tools like hand shovels and pruning shears.

For easy access while in the garden, cut holes and use rope to hang around a close-by fence post.

Tires - Stack old tires on top of each other for an outdoor toy container that kids can easily access. Paint the outside to match the color of your house or whatever color you fancy.

End of Season Storage - Keep your garage area tidy by organizing similar tools together. Use One-Wrap ties to keep gardening tools grouped together, or to keep hoses tightly coiled and out of the way.

This product also comes in a variety of colors and sizes so that you can keep everything neat and organized.

For more helpful home décor, DIY and organization solutions, visit www.velcro.com.

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5/3/13 2:00 PM

Front Porch The

by Judy Smith

Reading and studying your Bible on your porch is absolutely amazing to me. It is sort of like sitting out at night for the purpose of star gazing. You are there. You see the abundance of stars. You try to make out the constellations. For me, I am in awe of it. The same feeling comes over me during the day when I have that privilege of being on my porch with God’s Word. Awestruck!

Have you noticed that I am an emotional person? Most of the time I would say that was a good thing. Little things amaze me and inspire me. Big things, such as realizing how awesome the world created for us is, I am overcome to deep emotions that cannot be contained. It has to come out. It might be in crying, or in prayer and praise, maybe even in singing. Thankfully the neighbors cannot hear me.

My favorite song, “I Can Only Imagine” touches my soul because it speaks to me of how I might react. I don’t know how that would be but for some reason, every time I hear that song, I want to dance. The “awe” wants to come out. Do you know what I mean?

Read the chorus of the words. Better yet, if you have not heard it or you are not sure of the song, just look it up on your computer and listen to it. Shut your eyes and let it speak to you. How will you respond?

Surrounded by Your glory What will my heart feel?

Will I dance for You Jesus?

Or in awe of You be still?

Will I stand in Your presence Or to my knees will I fall?

Will I sing, Hallelujah?

Will I be able to speak at all?

I can only imagine I can only imagine Emotions come out. Feelings come out. Remember I said most of the time, it is a good thing. When my little “slugger” hit’s a home run, when our little Abby did so great at her little program, when my little “diva girl” wants to wear a dress and paint her nails, well, my heart just wants to burst with joy. When Joshua gets hurt on the job, or when Zack is running into a burning house, my heart sinks to my stomach. When Hannah plays the drums for the youth band with her purple drum sticks, my heart swells with how proud I am of the young lady she is becoming. When Isaac has girl problems, when Lizzie or Caroline get sick, my heart aches for them. I could go on and on.

I struggle with not letting my feelings come out when they are bad. Do you remember my “counting to nine”…Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self Control? Does that work for me all the time? Honestly, no. Especially when it comes to something affecting my family. I am like an “old mother hen”. Yet, it is comforting to know that with God’s help and “the nine”, I am not the person I used to be.

While I was on the porch doing my Bible Study, I noticed the neighbors chickens and how the mother hen took care of her chicks.

How awesome is God’s Creation. I almost broke out in the chicken dance.

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 11

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FlyLady THE

by Marla Cilley

Following Your Dreams Did life happen and your dreams get put on the back burning?

This has occurred to most of us. We have all heard that procrastination is the thief of time. I don’t think that is entirely the case. Time is constant; we all have the same hours in every single day, it is how we choose to use those hours that steals the time. We all seem to think that things will take longer than they really will, so we talk ourselves out of doing them. Just what have you been procrastinating about lately: Laundry, getting the car washed or is it something much deeper than household chores?

Have you gotten in a rut? Not a bad rut; but let’s say a comfortable rut. You know the same ole same ole! You go through your day without any thought about your passion. Passion: What is that anyway?

When procrastination gets in the way of your passion; it becomes an excuse to not follow your dreams. We have all said it in some form or fashion, “I don’t have time to go back to school and finish my degree”. This “I don’t have time” attitude gives us the excuse to not be or do what we were put on Earth to do with our lives. You are robbing yourself of you! Not to mention what you are robbing the world of: YOU! When your heart is not in what you are doing then nothing will ever make you happy! It doesn’t matter if you make all the money in the world, if it doesn’t make you happy it means nothing.

Happiness comes from within. This is what FLYing is all about.

Finally Loving Yourself enough to know that for some reason you are not happy. You thought getting the house clean was all it would take to make you happy.

As you learn the FlyLady way of breaking things down into babysteps; you will find the right path that is going to lead you to true happiness. This happiness starts by letting go of procrastination and perfectionism.

I never knew what I wanted to be when I grew up. For years I was a bookkeeper, then I taught Fly Fishing. I was not fulfilling my destiny because I still had an empty hole to fill. Nothing would fill up this hole; spending money, relationships, food or anything else I used to keep me in my rut.

You see, ruts keep you in a path that is not your choosing.

Because it is so hard to get out of the rut, it is just easier to continue on this sidetracked journey. I can hear you now, “but I did choose my path!” Did you really or did circumstances just put you in this position.

Some people never get out of their ruts of procrastination. It involves too much change. When we allow our routines to take over the maintenance of our home and we are on automatic pilot then we are freed up to follow our dreams one babystep at a time.

It was only after I got rid of my clutter and found my routines that my purpose for living was revealed to me. Open up your hearts by taking care of the things you have been putting off till later. Later is a lie that never happens unless you set your mind to clearing out your mind clutter! That is all procrastination really is!

For more help getting rid of your clutter and CHAOS, check out her website and join her free mentoring group at www.FlyLady.net or read her book, Sink Reflections published by Random House. Help me build a Habitat Home this year. http://www.share.habitat.org/flyladybuildproject Please bless others with your clutter by donating it to a Habitat for Humanity Restore near you. Copyright 2013 Marla Cilley Used by permission in this publication.

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 13

Idols and Tools

by Mary Southerland

Today’s Truth

Jesus said to them, “Be careful and guard against all kinds of greed. Life is not measured by how much one owns” (Luke 12:15, ICB).

Friend to Friend

We live in a “stuff” driven world where it does not seem to matter how much we have, because it is never enough. We are told the more things we have, the more successful we are. We not only want possessions, we want other people’s talents, abilities, circumstances and relationships. Luke warns us to guard against “all kinds of greed.” It is easy for us to covet a better job. We want the power that others seem to have. We are driven to have the best and to be the best, unable to relax and celebrate where we are and what we do have. Hebrews 13:5 is a powerful and clear warning to “keep your lives free from the love of money, and be satisfied with what you have. God has said, ’I will never leave you; I will never forget you.’” Now that is a fortune!

Be honest. How important are your possessions? How do you view them? Howard Hendricks, a great Bible teacher, was having dinner with a very wealthy and prestigious man. Hendricks was amazed at the humility of his host, knowing the man’s impressive credentials and the massive wealth he possessed. At the end of the evening, Hendricks asked his friend, “How did you grow up in such wealth and not be consumed by materialism?” With a smile, the man responded, “My parents taught me that everything in our home was either an idol or a tool. The choice was up to me.” The truth is that we want whatever we put first in life. I have discovered the more I have to live for, the less I need to live on. Too often, greed and jealousy encourage wrong decisions and foster unhealthy and ungodly attitudes. The fact is that greed and jealousy are fruits of idolatry. Everything in life is either an idol we choose to worship or a tool we choose to use for good or bad.

Corrie ten Boom was a godly woman who endured great persecution from the Nazis in the World War II concentration camp known as Ravensbruck. During an interview, she once stated she had learned to hold everything “loosely” in her hands.

When asked why, Miss ten Boom explained that after being a

pg 14 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | June 2013

Christian for many years, she had discovered the truth that when she grasped things tightly, it hurt more when the Lord had to pry her fingers loose. The choice really is ours to make. We need to hold our “stuff” loosely while investing financial resources in eternal things. We need to keep our gaze riveted to God’s plan alone instead of entering the all too familiar and ungodly “competition” that seems to plague so many people.

To stay away from idols and avoid greed, we need to change our focus from what we want to what we have, and choose to be satisfied with whatever that is. In Luke 12:15, Jesus issues a warning, “Be careful and guard against all kinds of greed. Life is not measured by how much one owns” (ICB). I believe that attaching importance to “things” is sin and will lead to more sin.

I love the story of a wealthy man who prayed, asking for permission to take his earthly wealth with him when he died and went to heaven. An angel appeared to the man and said, “We heard your prayer, but I am sorry. You simply cannot take it with you.”

The man pleaded so passionately that the angel said, “Let me see what I can do.” When the angel returned, he reported, “Good news! God has made an exception for you. You may bring one suitcase with you when it is your time to go.” Delighted, the man packed his one suitcase and went on with life. Several years later, he died and appeared at the Pearly Gates where he was met by St. Peter who took one look at the suitcase and said, “I am sorry, sir, but you cannot bring that in with you.” The man protested, “But I received special permission.” Just then, the angel appeared and said, “Peter, it is true. He has special permission to bring one suitcase in with him.” Curious, Peter said, “Do you mind showing me what is in the bag that is so important to you?” With a smile, the man replied, “Not at all” and proceeded to open the suitcase to reveal stacks of gold bricks. Peter’s face said it all, “Pavement?

You brought pavement with you?”

Many of us are in a never-ending and futile quest to accumulate “pavement” here that is totally worthless there! Wealth – financial or is all a matter of perspective. We need to understand that our Father wants us to have wealth. We just have to be careful not to settle for earthly money, possessions, human power and prestige instead of the eternal treasures only He can offer.

Let’s Pray

Father, please forgive me when I value things over people and my relationship with You. Thank You for meeting every need in my life. I now surrender all of my worldly goods to Your control.

Help me to become a generous and joyful giver and use me to meet the needs of others so that You will be honored and glorified.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

on God and the plan to which he has called you. Don’t focus on the world and the empty promises of fame and power it offers.

Cultivate a grateful heart. Pray for the discernment to embrace those hidden treasures buried in every trial. Praise God for His sufficiency in meeting your every need, even if the way he meets it does not correspond with yours. Trust God – and be thankful.

Keeping You Feeling Your Best For Life’s Celebrations Mary’s book, Escaping the Stress Trap, offers a step-by-step

Now It’s Your Turn

Carefully consider and answer the following questions. Record your answers in your journal.

• • • • • •

How important are your possessions to you? Be honest.

Make a list of your ten most important “things.” Will they be just as important in a year?

Examine your heart for any jealousy. What steps do you need to take in order to eliminate that jealousy?

Choose to give away a prized possession. What emotions did you have to deal with in making that choice?

Identify and eliminate any “pockets” of jealousy and greed in your heart.

Begin each day with a prayer of thanksgiving. Evaluate the difference this daily prayer has made in a month.

plan for finding contentment in God alone – not in the things of this world. Looking for a practical and powerful Bible study for your daily quiet time or small group study? Check out Mary’s weekly Online Bible Study, Power Up With Proverbs. Connect with Mary on Facebook or through email.

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 15

Push-Up Variations 1. Exercise Number One- Diamond Push-Up This exercise not only tones your chest and triceps but should also engage your glutes, core and abdominal region as well.

by Sharon Rashidi B.S. Health Education

Owner of The Perfect Workout

Push Up for Total Body Fitness There is a scene in the movie Ice Age, showing a prehistoric man doing push-ups as preparation for the great bison hunt. The basic pushup is one of the most natural exercises known to mankind. It is impossible to trace the origin of this ingenious exercise; undoubtedly it goes back before written history.

It’s no secret that the push up has been used by militaries all over the world to get their soldiers in top fighting condition and for good reason. It is the only exercise that uses nearly every muscle in the body: chest, hands, forearms, biceps, triceps, shoulders, upper and lower back, abs, glutes, hamstrings, quads, calves, feet, and most importantly the heart. Yes, completing several push-ups is a great cardiovascular aerobic workout!

What if you can not do a push-up yet? When I first started my pushup workout, I couldn’t do more than one on my knees, and now I do all sorts of variations up on my toes the whole time. My strength increased really quickly, and I progressed from having to drop to my knees after a few reps to pushing out 10 on my toes in no time. I’ve found pushups to be one of the most valuable ways of increasing my core strength and stamina.

The secret is to work on perfecting your push-up technique, first on your knees and then progress to your toes. Even if you can not push your self back up at first, you will gain strength by trying. Follow the following seven rules for correct push-up form.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

Keep hands shoulder-width apart at chest level Tighten the core Get a nice straight line from head to foot (or to knee) Back straight Slowly lower in two seconds until the chest is one inch from the floor Pause for one second Press up in one second

Take a few minutes everyday to work on perfecting your push-up.

Pushups can be challenging but if you commit yourself to them, you can have amazing results. In just a few weeks, you should notice a change not only in your body but overall cardiovascular health as well.

pg 16 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | June 2013

Step One- Kneel down and place your hands on a mat. Create a diamond shape with your hands by touching your thumbs to your index fingers. Extend your legs out behind to form a straight line from your head to your toes.

Step Two –Inhale as you bend your arms and lower your chest towards the ground. Exhale as you push yourself back up to the starting position. Repeat 10 times and work your way up to 20.

Tips- Beginners should start with knees bent. Always keep your head neutral and in align with your spine. Never look up as this will stress your neck.

2. Exercise Number Two- T- Push Up This is a great exercise that not only tones your entire body, but will also strengthen your core and abdominal region as well.

Step One- - Kneel down and place your hands on a mat. Extend your legs out behind to form a straight line from your head to your toes.

Step Two- At the top of the push up, lift one arm to the ceiling as you rotate your torso in the same direction. Allow your feet to roll to the sides and look at your raised hand. At the top of the move, you should be facing sideways and your body should resemble the letter T. Return to the starting position and repeat on the opposite side. Repeat 10 times and work your way up to 20.

Tips- Remember to keep your core engaged throughout the exercise and focus on maintaining proper body alignment. Beginners complete the exercise on your knees with one leg extended.

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 17

Summer Pet Care Tips

By Diane Pomerance Ph.D.

Summer is the time for fun, outdoor activities, swimming, picnics and vacations. And, understandably, people love to share many of their summer activities with their animal companions. Unfortunately, every summer many beloved pets die unnecessarily during extremely hot weather.

Heat exhaustion is one of the most common ailments of pets during the summer months, so pet owners should be cautious. If it’s an exceptionally hot day, keep your dog or cat in the house with you and a fan and/or air conditioning. If it’s too hot outside for you, it’s too hot outside for your pet. Signs of heatstroke may include: hot skin, rapid panting, twitching muscles, salivation, a dazed expression. Wrap your pet in a towel with cool, not COLD water. Cool him down by giving him ice cubes to lick (as cold water will upset his stomach worse and hasten dehydration).

Let him lie in front of a fan. To prevent heat exhaustion, make sure your outside pets have access to shade, fresh water and that you monitor them at least several times a day to make sure they’re all right.!

Never leave your pet in a parked car - not even if you crack the windows or park in the shade. The temperature in the car can increase rapidly and cause heat exhaustion, heat stroke or even death. On an 85 degree day, the temperature inside your car, even with the windows open a bit, will climb to 102 degrees in 10 minutes. After 30 minutes, it will go up to 120 degrees or even higher!

Give your animal companion plenty of cool, clean water at all times.

Dogs can only sweat through the pads of their feet and by panting.

Evaporation from the wet surfaces of their mouth and nose helps lower their body temperature.

Do not leave your pet shut in an empty house or tied outside while you’re on vacation.

Never force your dog to run in hot, humid weather. Watch for hot pavement. Sensitive paws burn easily. After a walk or run, check your dog’s paws to make sure they are okay.

Keep vaccinations up-to-date. This is a time when most pets come into contact with other animals at parks, beaches, lakes and campgrounds.

Don’t let your pets roam the streets. Veterinarians see numerous fight injuries and bite wounds in the summer as well as animals hit or run over by cars.

Use Heartworm preventative as mosquitoes which increase dramatically in the summer, carry Heartworm - one of the most deadly ailments household pets suffer. Mosquitoes carry a parasite that causes pulmonary vascular disease that can lead to heart failure. Preventative medication is the best way to avoid this deadly disease.

Wasps, bees and hornets are also a problem during the summer.

Although there is no real way for your pets to avoid being stung, they can be treated with antihistamines to reduce the swelling that follows an attack If swelling doesn’t subside, see your vet!

Watch the exercise and diet of your pets. Overeating can result in overheating. Eating less is healthier for them. Do not encourage exercise during the hottest part of the day. Early mornings and evenings are the best times for exercising.

Fleas, ticks and other parasites may infest your pet. There are many good products available to keep fleas and ticks off your pet. Check with your vet!

When planning a vacation, don’t forget your animal companions. Plan for them too. If you are planning on taking them with you, make certain that they will travel comfortably (with plenty of potty and exercise stops) and that they are welcome guests at hotels, homes of friends, etc, and your destination. If you are leaving them behind, make certain you have a well-credentialed pet-sitter or boarding facility. Referrals from trusted veterinarians and animal-loving friends are always helpful. Check them out well in advance of your proposed trip and make reservations, leaving them with a list of medications and instructions as to feeding, exercise, etc. Leave the name of your vet along with friends and neighbors who know your pet. Leave your whereabouts and how to reach you.

On holidays such as the 4th of July when your pet is exposed to loud noises such as fireworks, make sure he has a safe, quiet place/sanctuary inside your home, that he is in a room from which he cannot escape or run away and that you have either the television or radio on for him to distract or deflect the scary outside sounds. Keep your pet away from crowds of people and loud noises. This will keep him calm and safe!

By following these tips, there is a high probability that you and your animal companions will enjoy a safe, healthy and happy summer!

DIANE POMERANCE Ph.D. is the author of six highly acclaimed books and numerous

articles. She is an internationally recognized pet expert who has been interviewed on countless radio and television programs, newspapers and magazines.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Diane_Pomerance_Ph.D.

pg 18 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | June 2013

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 19

TRUTH

& BEAUTY

by Teresa Pope, Esthetician

Question: I am so glad that these questions are sent anonymously because this one is a little embarrassing. I have always heard that Preparation-H helps the bags under the eyes. Is that true and if it is, is it safe to use?

Answer: There is no need of being embarrassed by this question.

Women have been repeating this so called beauty secret for many years.

I’m not going to tell my age, but I’ve heard this my entire life. All I’m going to say is, that I have been hearing about this for a very long, long, long time. Although, I have heard about this, I have to admit, that I have never tried it. Which is very unusual for me because I like to try every beauty trick I hear about. So I thought, “No time like the present! I’m going to give it a try”. I will give the results of my test a little later in the article.

First, I wanted to know about what other women were saying about the Preparation-H under eye bag cure. So I did an in depth, scientific study and hit the Internet. Ok, maybe not so “in depth or scientific”, but a place where you can hear from a lot of people in one place. I found an article written at Straight Dope about this exact topic. Their researcher had actually talked to the makers of Preparation-H and was told that their product shrinked swelling of hemorrhoid tissue and was not meant for the eye area. That there were no clinical studies showing that it reduced puffiness under the eyes. They were also told, that they do not get that questions as much as they use to, perhaps due to the fact that Prep-H has been reformulated in recent years and no longer uses “live yeast cell” which was probably the ingredient that helped reduce some swelling around the eye area. I wasn’t satisfied with this answer, because companies can not legally say their product does something that it has not been specifically tested for.

So next, I went to a blog to read what other women were saying about this. I wanted to get it straight from those who had actually tried it. I would guess that approximately 98% of the women who commented said that, it indeed did work. However, most had a negative side to it also, such as it caused dryness and was shiny.

pg 20 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | June 2013

Now to the most scientific test of all. Mine! I only have trouble with bags occasionally. So for the betterment of my readers, I did all the wrong things. I ate lots of salt, stayed up late watching TV, didn’t take my allergy medicine. All so that my bags would appear. And I have to admit. I did a fantastic job. I had two golly whopper eye bags. So I bought an off label brand of hemorrhoid ointment. (Cheaper is always better, I say) I applied at night before bed and woke the next morning with BAGS. They were smaller, but still there. I applied every night for 5 days, and each morning they were smaller. Thinking that this might be coincidental, I kept up my daily assault on my eyes. Eating lots of chips and salty foods, staying up late watching Perry Mason reruns, and no allergy med’s. It was difficult, but I was willing to sacrifice for my readers. The amazing thing was, “the bags didn’t come back, while I was using the ointment. So the verdict is in as far as I am concern.

IT WORKS! However, as the other women had stated, there are some drawbacks. The Dryness: to eliminate that I used a petroleum base product instead of a cream one. The problem with that is that it can make you break out. Which it did to me. The Shininess: I used the product at night, so I didn’t have to walk around all day with a greasy looking face.

And finally Safety: This has never been clinical tested to use around the eyes, so a word of caution. USE AT YOUR OWN RISK! Using this product in a way that it was not formulated to be used, could possibly cause damage to the eyes or the surrounding tissues.

Finally, if you don’t want to risk using something for your backside on our eyes, and want to do something that you know is totally safe, than following these few simple steps will help with bags.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Sleep slightly elevated.

Watch your salt intake. Too much salt will make you retain water and make bags worse.

Get plenty of sleep.

Limit alcohol and caffinated beverages.

If you have allergies, take your allergy med’s regularly.

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over backward to help everyone saying “Yes” when a little voice inside me says, “Don’t, please don’t.” I can blame my history of being raised by an alcoholic father. I can claim my faith as an excuse to be sacrificial. Or I can pump myself up with false humility. But, none of these will serve me long term. I will burn out.

ophisticated omen

W

Do Habit Work

By Nicole Greer, PPCC Founder and Principle Coach at Vibrant Coaching A habit is a structure in our life that makes life more manageable. Or so we think.

The reality is that we have habits that serve us. And habits that can slay us. But again, all habits exist in our lives because at the unconscious level we believe that there is a reward for this behavior. Noted author, Charles Duhigg in his book, The Power of Habits delineates the three components of habit as: cue, behavior and reward.

Perhaps you can relate to my habits?

I have a habit of rising early every single morning to read, contemplate the day, its Creator, and to formulate a plan of action. The cue in place is the harp ring tone on my iPhone, the smell of coffee just freshly brewed in my automatic Mr. Coffee (I love that man!), and the reward of peace. The only behavior required of me is rising up and moving toward the reward. When I get my coffee and plunk down in my big chair, there is comfort. I know that no one is up. Nothing will be required from me externally. I simply show up for the day ready to receive the peace of planning, prayer, and being on purpose. This habit serves me powerfully. I see areas that need my attention. I see what I can control and what I need to let go of and watch unfold. This vision for the day creates confidence.

I step into the day poised for action. I know I will manage and yes, even excel.

I trust this process. Because I show up for this time every morning, I can trust myself to show up vibrant out in the world.

And so will you. So, how do we create new habits?

A powerful question! But before we answer this, first let me warn you about confusing discipline and habits. Consistently, I work with individuals who want to be more disciplined. I share with them a great intuitive learning from Dan Sullivan. Dan assures us that we are 100% disciplined to the level of behavior we live out on a daily basis. Therefore, we cannot make the change unless we heed the advice of Charles by systematically creating a new environment with new cues for a new behavior with a new reward. Instead of focusing on the heavy lifting of being disciplined; a concept wrought with guilt, memories of punishment, and struggle, we can create a structure that will carry us to a new destination where we can shine.

Changing the environment is job number one. If you, like me, want to break an addiction to approval. We are going to have to create a space in our lives where we take stock of our worth and find our unique purpose. We’ll need to identify the things we can do but don’t bring us joy. Eliminate those and invest in only those activities that make our soul sing instead of the chorus of the crowd around us.

Number Two: We create cues that remind trying to form. The greatest cues come from Asking someone to mentor us in the change reciprocate the process to make it a win win. mentor relationship. Ask...

us of the new habit you are a simple form of accountability. process is imperative. We can Follow this simple formula in a

• What are you going to do?

• When are you going to do it?

• And How will I know?

Ultimately, we want to make right steps toward the life we say we want. We are not after perfection, simply progress. We must learn a new habit of trusting this process. As good habits take hold in our life, the bad ones let go. You’ll find yourself in a state free of guilt. The sorrow of wondering, ‘How did I get here again?’, will be replaced with our light shining brighter than the darkness of shame.

What if we don’t do habit work? We’ll...

• • •

restrict and limit the flow of creativity possibilities and negatively effect our potential. seriously affect our health resulting in a shortened life span, create worry and loss for those who love us and deplete our resources of time, energy, and money. mess up our relationships which ultimately eradicates trust.

Don’t be too impressed. I also have bad habits. I work too much, strive too much, take on too much, and it’s all TOO MUCH! (I know you relate!) My bad habits are what psychologists call blind spots. Blind spots develop when a cue in our environment blocks us from seeing the long term consequences that a short term reward might have. In order to overcome our blind spots that keep us in the dark. We are going to have to shed some light on our lives.

Sophisticated women do habit work.

Thomas Keating offers insight into why we are so prone to blind spots. He states that everyone has the ‘human condition’. There are three powerful things that humans crave: approval, security, and control. He claims that each of us acts on all three but our personality and history have shaped our addiction to one of these. Personally, I am addicted to approval. I want you to like me. I want everyone to like me. It’s sad really. I lose my authentic self seeking to do what I think you want me to do. This drives my habits. I find myself bending

Nicole Greer, PPCC is a Rotarian, the Principal Coach for Vibrant Coaching and Workshop Leader for The Lydia Group. Nicole is on a mission to impact, energize, and influence people to lead a Vibrant Life by engaging the possibilities. As a life and business coach and workshop leader, Nicole views her role as a conduit to release all that you want to achieve. www.thevibrantcoach.com/www.thelydiagroup.com

We do habit work. Trust me. Then you can trust yourself. That’s a huge reward!

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 23

The

Important Things in

Life

By Vickie Redden Catawba County Meals on Wheels Volunteer Coordinator

As Seen by A 103-Year-Old Meals on Wheels Recipient I have been blessed to have the opportunity to talk with our current oldest Meals on Wheels participant, Eva Canaday. She is an amazing 103 year old lady. When asked what her secrets are for a long healthy life she replies, “I give the Lord credit for that. I say my prayers morning and at night.” She has only been hospitalized three times in her life, when giving birth to her two sons and when she broke her hip the day before her 96th birthday. Her medications consist only of an aspirin and a vitamin, and she only sees her doctor once a year for her physical.

Ms. Canaday demonstrates that she has a good sense of humor when telling me that she likes living alone because she does not have anyone to argue with and is afraid that she would lose the argument.

She was gracious to share with me some of her life history. She was raised in a little town in Georgia. Ms. Canaday was next to the youngest of nine children. She has one sister at age 93 still living. Her mother stayed at home to care for the children and her father owned a grocery store. She recalls going to the grocery store on weekends and parching peanuts and selling bags of them for a nickel.

She is very proud of graduating from high school. She stated it came time for the final exam and the teacher announced in class that Eva did not have to take the final exam. She started crying because she thought she was not going to graduate, and the teacher told her she did not have to take the exam because she had made straight A’s. She was so relieved and happy.

She got married at age 26 and they moved to Charlotte. Her last job

pg 24 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | June 2013

was working 35 years for Ivey’s Department Store selling cosmetics.

The company policy required people to retire at age 65. She did not want to retire; she wanted to continue working. Just imagine, she has been retired now longer than she has worked. Ms. Canaday had always ridden the bus to and from work. She got her first driver’s license at age 65 after she retired, and she continued to drive until she was age 91.

Her son Clint recalls seeing her the happiest after she and her husband retired. They bought a place at the beach and traveled. He states that she never saw herself as old until she reached age 101. Clint states that she told him once that she doesn’t have any friends. She told him, “Some of my friends have been dead so long and are in heaven and they don’t think I made it.”

She has a very supportive family with two sons, two grandchildren, and five great-grandchildren. They have four generations that get together three out of four Sundays for lunch. Her advice for others who want to live a long healthy life is to believe in the Lord and don’t look for things to complain about. She states that, “People now can think of so much to complain about and it doesn’t do them a bit of good.” It was truly a joy talking with her and taking to heart her words of wisdom. She is definitely an inspiration to us all.

Catawba County Meals on Wheels relies heavily on local volunteers and donations to serve our seniors. To find out more about this program, call 828-695-5610. You can also go to our website at http://www. catawbacountync.gov/dss/adult/nutrition.asp, or like us on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/MealsonWheelsofCatawbaCounty.

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Are you allowing your creative self through?

As children, we have a natural tendency to express ourselves. Give any child a box of crayons, sidewalk chalk, a clump of clay, Legos or even a random array of objects and watch his or her imagination go wild with inspired creativity. It is only later in life that too many of us are made to feel or simply begin to believe that we did not get that “creative gene.” What a shame. Because creativity comes in all shapes and forms. Most important of all, it is that creative part of each of us that gives us our deepest satisfaction because it is tapping into the very core of who we are and what makes us unique.

I had the pleasure to listen to a keynote address at an annual meeting recently from the President of the McColl Center for Visual Arts, Suzanne Fetscher. Her address shared six insights gained through watching and interviewing various artists in residence and how any one of us could reignite our creative selves through these insights. She challenged the audience to try to connect to our creativity every day in small but soon-to-be-realized powerful ways. I now challenge you to do the same.

Connect to your passions daily: What are you passionate about?

Don’t worry about whether you think it is creatively driven. Just note three things that you are passionate about that simply delight you whenever you think about them. Suzanne encouraged everyone to try to connect to one of our passions every day in some small way. If you love music, take time to simply listen. If you love nature, take time to simply pause and engage all your senses. If it is being around children, pull out photos of your grandchildren, simply watch your own children with childlike delight or pull out some crayons or doodle and let the child in you come back into being.

Have courage to be creative: Once we believe we are not creative, we then shun from anything that would test this because it would take us out of our comfort zone. Get uncomfortable. As artists revealed, their creative genius was heightened when they got out of their own comfort zone. Channeling frustration or even anger into a creative outlet is where masterpieces are born, transforming negative energy into positive output. Connecting with the creative in you could be your greatest stress reliever and sanity keeper.

Trust your intuition: I loved how Suzanne described intuition. She said, “Your intuition is your mind, body and soul united and where your true wisdom lies.” Your greatest capacity to be all that you were meant to be stems from listening from within. What have you been trying to tell yourself about yourself but have been denying or worse yet, allowed others to convince you otherwise? It is trusting your gut,

so to speak, that opens you up. Intuition goes beyond thinking through things and goes deeper into feeling through things.

Get ideas from random places: You have probably heard of someone having “writer’s block” or a “creative block” and not being able to get beyond it. Artists know that to get out of that funk means opening up to the world around for stimulation. Problem solving of any kind is creatively stimulated. When you are “stuck” is when you need to place yourself in a different environment to help you think in a different way.

This is where your passions come into play. Give yourself permission to take a break and just do something you enjoy. More often than not, that time taken helps shake loose ideas and ways to approach something that simply would not have been revealed until you allowed yourself that time to simply be.

Be curious and act upon it: Part of getting out of your comfort zone is to explore the unfamiliar. What are you curious about? What would you like to learn more about that could help you embrace what you are passionate about? Always be open to where your curiosity might take you in learning, knowing and then growing creatively as a result of acting upon it. If you love music, but believe you could never make music yourself, then begin to learn how. If you love art, but believe you cannot make art, begin to learn how. If you love to read, but cannot imagine writing, begin journaling or take a creative writing class.

Seek critiques of your work: This is probably the most difficult of the six insights shared by Suzanne. Seeking the critique of others when it comes to expressing our creativity is intimidating because when we are being creative it is a very personal exposure of how we feel, who we are or how we think. It is so personal that we fear the worst or simply believe that no one will understand or “get it” like we do. Instead of viewing it as a possible affront, view it as a means of growing in your creativity. Every time something I have created has been challenged, I have always been inspired to an even better result. Trust me on this one. It is a valuable part of the creative process.

Creativity can be your catalyst for self discovery as much as it is your release from everyday tension and stress. It can be your outlet for expression and your internal compass for how you are feeling put to task in positive and empowering ways. Thou shalt be creative because thou art creative. Vow to allow your “creative you” to step forward.

Bio: Sherré DeMao inspires millions through her monthly columns, weekly Insight eZine and national contributing writing. An expert strategist and marketer focused on entrepreneurs, her unique perspective and innovative approach has earned numerous awards regionally, nationally and internationally including being named among the Top 50 Enterprising Women of North America in 2007. Her books, Me, Myself & Inc. (www.memyselfandinc.com) and 50 Marketing Secrets (www.50marketingsecrets.com) have received national acclaim as Top Business Shelf picks and must-reads.

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 27

Dinner Diva The

By: Leanne Ely

When school’s out for summer, start teaching about food!

Pop quiz: How do you get kids to eat just about anything?

Answer: You get them involved in the kitchen.

There’s no surefire guarantee that your kids will eat something they have had a hand in preparing, but it absolutely increases the odds of them trying and liking a dish.

Get your kids right in there helping in the entire meal preparation process, right from meal planning to the clean up. Cooking is an essential life skill and it’s never too early to get the children at the kitchen counter next to you. You’ll be surprised at how helpful they can be once they get a hang of things! And with summer break around the corner, dinner time is about to get a lot more casual and a lot less rushed making it the perfect time to get those kids in the kitchen.

Here are some ways you can get your kids cooking this summer.

pg 28 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | June 2013

Get planting. Give your children a good clear understanding of how much it takes to get food onto their plates by growing some fruits and vegetables together. Let the kids pick out a packet of organic seeds and involve them through each and every step from the soaking of the seeds to the transplanting the seedlings into a larger container. Show them how much responsibility is required to get those peas onto the plate. This will give them a new respect for the food that they see in the market and on the dinner table.

Harvest together. If you have a food garden, get the kids out there with you pulling the weeds and harvesting the crop. Show them how wonderful it is to snip your salad greens from the earth rather than taking them out of a plastic bag in the fridge.

Let them experience the joy of pulling a carrot from the dirt and rinsing it under the garden hose before gobbling it up. Teaching your children where food comes from is one of the most valuable lessons you can teach them.

Ask for input. When you sit down to plan your menu for the week, ask everyone in your family what meal they would like to include. If your 5 year old suggests hamburgers, ask her what toppings you should have and what side dishes you should serve.

If your teenager says they want that casserole they recently learned how to make, ask him what ingredients he needs and that you’ll pick them up so he can make it again. Everyone can’t have

their way all of the time, but we all like to feel like we have some say in what goes on in our home — empower those little ones to make some of the decisions!

Take them shopping. When your kids are off for the summer, you may have to bring them with you to do the grocery shopping more often and that is wonderful. Use it as a learning opportunity.

Let your 5 year old pick out the toppings that will go on those burgers she wants. Tell her why you’re buying the local, grass fed beef to make them with. Show the children the nutritional labels of the products you buy and the products you don’t, so they can get familiar with how to make better choices. Explain why you choose the organic celery over the non-organic celery even though it costs more. Let the kids take turns choosing a new fruit or vegetable to try that week. Kids are little sponges and they are “eating” all of this up!

Get help with the putting away. Tell your child why you’re asking them to put the celery in the crisper drawer. Talk a little bit about the vitamins and nutrients that are in that kale as you put it away. Explain that the tomatoes are going on the window sill so that they’ll ripen a little faster. So many opportunities for teaching in the kitchen!

Get them prepping. The 5 year old who wants the burgers? Get those little hands washed up and have her help you mix the meat and form it into patties. Buy safety knives for your older children

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and let them chop the veggies for the evening salad. Have them thread the meat and veggies onto skewers for the BBQ and explain why they should put the veggies and meats on separate skewers if they want them to cook evenly.

Make your kids feel welcome in the kitchen. It’s okay to shoe them out every now and then when you’re trying to get something done, but more often than not, let them make a mess as they learn something new, and have them help you clean it up afterwards!

How do you involve your kids in the kitchen? Let us know on our Facebook page! (facebook.com/savingdinner)

Leanne Ely is a New York Times bestselling author of Body Clutter and the Saving Dinner series. The Dinner Diva syndicated newspaper column appears in 250 newspapers nationwide. Learn how to cook great and save significant money with the Dinner Diva?s menus, recipes and shopping lists at www.savingdinner.com

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915 Tate Blvd SE | Suite 146 Hickory, NC 28602 828.345.1290 ZZZ SXUHUHÁHFWLRQVSD FRP

Impressions from High Point

by Susan Guest, ASID Once again buyers and manufacturers from all over the world traveled to High Point in April for the spring furniture market. This show did not disappoint-new trends are emerging and business finally seems to be picking up.

As with every market, I enjoy looking at the exciting new products and the creative ways that they are displayed. Several themes were evident to me as I walked the aisles and toured showrooms.

Bright Colors: The vivid and intense colors that we are wearing on our clothing this spring are appearing in upholstery fabrics and rugs. I saw chandeliers in pinky-purple and lime green.

Traditional oriental rugs have been re-colored in the bright trendy colors of Citron green, bright orange, indigo and peacock blue, aqua, and bright fuschia.

Bold and Large Scaled Patterns: Large linen prints and geometrics are all the rage right now. In past years, we’ve been using these punchy accents on pillows; but now they are seen on an entire sofa or large chair. Traditional furniture pieces are shown in large chevron patterns and even floral wallpapered drawer fronts. Over-scaled paisley seems to be popular once again in bright and fun colors.

Weathered Wood Finishes: Washed grey and white finishes on case goods and lamps were a hit this market. Mixed with white, indigo blue and ocean colors, these finishes produced a nautical feel. This coastal look was complete with nautical pillows sporting anchors, knots, and other sea motifs.

Turtles and Birds: The creatures of the day seem to be turtles and birds. Upholstery fabrics, pillows, and artwork all featured these.

A few peacocks are still used as accents.

Midcentury Modern: A lot of the new styles in both upholstery and case goods mimic furniture from the 1960’s. Clean lines and lower profile pieces are popular. Matted gold and bronze drawer pulls accented topped with clear Lucite give traditional pieces a more current look. Furniture once considered basic traditional has morphed into a more classic feel that leans toward contemporary.

Accent pieces are coming back. One showroom had an entire secretary in a green patterned “malachite” finish.

The chevron pattern is seen painted on tables of all sizes.

I attended a recent talk by Charlotte designer, Traci Zeller, who spoke on her impressions of the latest trends in furnishings. Among other things, Traci commented that the color of the year is emerald green.

She also noted the bright colors; but said that white was being used a lot to cut the saturation of the drama.

Even though the bright colors are a nice change, I look forward to what is bound to come- some interesting, but more relaxed hues. Even though it is fun to decorate and accent with these bright colors, my word of advice is to “proceed with caution”. A little goes a long way!

After so many years of boring beige chenille, it is a nice change to see fun colors and patterns emerging. I’ve noticed through the years that the worse the economy, the more neutral the colors and designs.

People seem to be more willing to invest in a little drama when the financial future is not bleak. Hopefully the brighter hues are a sign of good times to come.

Susan Guest, ASID is an award-winning interior designer in Hickory and owner of Guest Interiors, LLC. She is one of the designers featured in “Spectacular Homes of the Carolinas”, found in high-end bookstores around the country. For more information, visit www.guestinteriors.com.

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 31

How to Freeze Fresh Vegetables from Your Garden Every summer season, we plant a large garden in our backyard.

As we became more proficient with our gardening skills, the larger our garden grew.

A few years ago, we decided to invest in a large upright freezer so that we could preserve our fresh vegetables for later use. Freezing is the most time efficient way to preserve foods at home. It is important to note that freezing does not improve the quality of foods, but when properly done it can preserve most of the quality of the fresh product.

Here are the steps that you need to take so you can freeze your own vegetables.

1. Choose vegetables that are at their peak of flavor and texture.

Avoid any over-mature vegetables or ones that have any type of damage.

2. Wash your vegetables under cold running water. If desired, you can purchase and use a fresh produce rinse to remove dirt, bacteria and pesticide residue that might be on your vegetables. Pat dry.

3. Peel, remove seeds and slice vegetables to the desired size.

4. Blanche vegetables in a large covered stockpot of boiling water.

5. Different vegetables require a different length of blanching time. As soon as blanching is complete, cool the vegetables quickly to stop the cooking process. To cool, drain the vegetables in a strainer, and then plunge into a container of ice water. Cool them for the same amount of time as they were blanched. Drain thoroughly, pat dry and freeze up to 9 months in re-useable plastic containers that are made for freezer use.

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pg 32 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | June 2013

0U 6MMPJL 4HTTVNYHTZ <YPUHY` 0UJVU[PULUJL ;YLH[TLU[

New Patients Welcome!

Recipes for ife

L

by Emily Wickham

Food for the Body

Carrot Cake

(Source: Betty Crocker’s New Cookbook: Everything You Need to Know to Cook) 1 1/2 cups sugar 1 cup vegetable oil 3 large eggs 2 cups all-purpose flour 1 ½ teaspoons ground cinnamon 1 teaspoon baking soda 1 teaspoon vanilla ½ teaspoon salt ¼ teaspoon ground nutmeg 3 cups shredded carrots (5 medium) 1 cup coarsely chopped nuts

Cream Cheese Frosting

1 package (8 ounces) cream cheese, softened ¼ cup stick margarine or butter, softened 2 teaspoons milk 1 teaspoon vanilla 4 cups powdered sugar

AAPrayer for God’s Prayer For Blessing God’s

Heat oven to 350 degrees. Grease bottom and sides of 13x9x2-inch pan, or two round pans, with shortening; lightly flour.

Mix sugar, oil, and eggs in large bowl until blended; beat one minute. Stir in remaining ingredients except carrots and nuts; beat one minute. Stir in carrots and nuts. Pour into pan. Bake rectangle 40 to 45 minutes, rounds 30 to 35 minutes, or until toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool completely and frost with Cream Cheese Frosting.

Beat cream cheese, butter, milk, and vanilla in medium bowl with electric mixer on low speed until smooth. Gradually beat in powdered sugar, one cup at a time, until smooth and spreadable.

Frost cake and refrigerate any remaining frosting.

Blessing

Loving Father in heaven, You are awesome and glorious—the very essence of love, which I sometimes mistakenly think depends on my performance. Thank You for pouring Your vast love on me simply because You ARE love. Please remind me daily of this truth. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Food forfor the Soul Food the

Soul

Searching for just the right gift, my husband eagerly examined the shelves at a local store. Delightfully he discovered some lovely boxes decorated with floral designs and equipped with handles and mirrors.

Fantastically priced, these oval cases captured his attention. He called for my opinion. He began loading his cart. A mutual friend passed by. “Are you buying those for resale?” she inquired.

“No,” he responded, explaining he was buying gifts for the ladies at church in honor of Mother’s Day. They parted, and he headed to the register to pay.

This anecdote provides a glimpse into my husband’s tender heart.

He works full-time running our business, and he pastors our small congregation. Preaching and leading, ministering and caring, Mark genuinely loves God’s people. Honestly it doesn’t seem he’d have time to shop for Mother’s Day gifts too! But God has entrusted him with an extremely generous heart and gladness in serving others. Moreover, he sacrificially and loyally loves our children. I learn continually from his Christ like example. Unquestionably he deserves to be honored— especially on Father’s Day. So what does this have to do with Carrot Cake? Well, it’s a small something I can prepare for Mark just because he’s wonderful. He loves this dessert and exclaims over it without fail. Enthusiastically he consumes every crumb on his plate. While I’m completely aware of my baking endeavor’s easiness, he exuberantly exults over the cake’s incredible taste like I’m such an outstanding cook. Together we smile.

My husband’s endearing delight reminds me of my heavenly Father’s affection. Zephaniah 3:17 reveals God’s love this way: “The LORD your God is in your midst, A victorious warrior. He will exult over you with joy, He will be quiet in His love, He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy.” Amazingly God exults over His people with joy—quietly and with shouts. His love isn’t based on our fantastic ability or personal worthiness, “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23). Yet almighty God genuinely loves us. Though we’ve rebelled against Him and gone our own way, He’s provided a way back: His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ. As Scripture marvelously declares, “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).

Sometimes I mistakenly think God’s love depends on my performance.

This thought doesn’t form cognitively, for in my mind I know better.

Instead, it silently and stealthily creeps in. Before realizing it, I sometimes simply feel I have to perform well so God will be pleased with me. Certain areas hit me hard—“Oh, I should pay more attention to my husband … I should spend more time with my children … I should get more involved with this or that ministry, etc.” While these actions definitely qualify as God-honoring goals, they DON’T qualify me for His love. Rather, God loves me because HE is love. Whether I’m the most stellar Christian woman or a serious slacker in Christian disciplines, God loves me the same. Categorically this seems unfair from a human standpoint. But from God’s divine perspective, none of us deserve his love, yet He. Loves. Us. Anyway.

As we rightfully recognize earthly fathers this month, let’s also esteem our heavenly Father. His love quietly surrounds us … and penetratingly shouts out to us. Just as I can bake a carrot cake for my husband because he’s such a great guy, so should our love for God flow from delight in Him. He’s awesome and glorious—the very essence of love. Without a doubt, “We love, because He first loved us” (1 John 4:19).

Until next time, that’s a Recipe for Life …

Emily Wickham gently reaches women’s hearts as she teaches God’s Word. Through her Bible study, Reaching for Righteousness: Life

! Applications from the Book of Esther, and various writing endeavors, she encourages readers into close relationship with God. Additionally she hosts an annual women’s conference in Greensboro, NC. Visit www.proclaiminghimtowomen.com to read Emily’s blog devotionals and to learn more about life in Christ.

To contact Emily about speaking at women’s events such as retreats, luncheons, and conferences, please e-mail emily@ proclaiminghimtowomen.com.

Emily, who is grateful to God for His blessings, enjoys life with her wonderful husband and their four terrific children in western NC.

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 33

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W

hen a couple become engaged, their thoughts usually run the course of deciding on the venue, the music, the food and much more.

They want to make their wedding an event to remember. Something that the guests will talk about for years to come. But in reality, the true meaning of a wedding is usually forgotten, at least temporarily.

What is a wedding about? The ceremony itself is meant to sanctify and legalize the relationship of the couple into a lifelong commitment. Outside of that it’s just “icing on the cake”. It can be very simple and short or elaborate and long. And most fall in between the two. Usually the more orthodox the faith, the longer the ceremony takes. But regardless, it should be approached with thoughtfulness, dignity and care.

Even now, some couples still favor the traditional, religious vows.

There have been some changes over the years, one being “obey” which can be replaced with respect or omitted altogether. Instead of “man and wife“, some prefer “husband and wife”.

I have found more and more ministers and rabbis putting their own touch on the wedding services they perform. Some pull in the couples’ favorite passages from the Bible, or maybe lines from a special poem.

Others may speak about how the bride and groom met. Allow plenty of time to talk to the one performing your ceremony. If you want your children to be a part of it , he needs to know this. In the blended homes of today, this is becoming more common.

As a bride and groom, when you stand in front of your parents and all those who are attending, it can be an overwhelming experience. If you tend to have stage fright, keep the ceremony short and sweet. You can personalize your ceremony by adding to the traditional ceremony. This can be done with music, but be careful of your song choices. Sometimes too much is not a good thing. Poems or passages from the Bible can be read by the bride, groom or a member of the wedding party. Below are a couple of ideas.

From Ruth 1:16. Even though this passage refers to Ruth’s loyalty to Naomi, it is a wonderful verse to recite. “And Ruth said, Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go: and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God, my God.” There is more. It’s a wonderful passage.

Kahlil Gibran’s “On Marriage,” from The Prophet.

Then Almitra spoke again and said, “And what of Marriage, master?”

And he answered saying: You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.

You shall be together when white wings of death scatter your days.

Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God. There is more to this. It is totally enchanting.

Solomon’s “Song of Songs, “ from the Old Testament. Not all of the verses may be to your liking. But if you combine the ones you like, it can be beautiful. It’s totally worth your time to look this up.

There are many poems from Walt Whitman that can be used. He wrote hundreds of them. Keep an open mind when reading them, however. You will find they are more of today than in the late 1800’s when they were written.

Finally, if you choose to write your own vows, speak from the heart.

And don’t say it unless you mean it. Of course, that goes for any of the vows. Go into marriage with an open mind and a loving heart. It’s not always 50-50. I don’t give advice, but I will tell you this, follow The Golden Rule in your marriage and you should do just fine. “Do unto others as would you have them do unto you.”

The Vows

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 35

Making Progress in a

CrazyMaker Marriage

By Dr. David

“There is nothing worse than having my words turned around on me,” a young woman told me during a recent individual counseling session. Kate had been coming for couples counseling for three months, and was quite frustrated with the lack of progress.

“He’s coming for counseling,” she continued, “but I don’t believe he really thinks any of the problem is his. He acts nice during the counseling session, but he reverts back to his old self after we get home.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

actions create this reaction in me!”

I watched Kate sink further into her chair. Tired and worn, she looked ten years older than her thirty years. Her complaints were an echo of a growing number of emails and phone calls, where many women, and some men, are tiring of their marriage.

“I call that being ‘CrazyMaker crazed’ and it’s no fun,” I said.

“Working on your marriage takes something out of you because you feel a lack of ownership with your husband. Is that right?”

“Yes!” Kate said with exasperation.

“You see the best side of him,” Kate said emphatically. “He really can be a nice guy. That’s why I married him. But, he complains about the cost of counseling, feels like we’re ganging up on him and thinks I’m making too big a deal out of it. He wants the problems to just go away. He accuses me of making the problems bigger, and I think he is dismissing me. It’s driving me crazy.”

“These are character issues and must be carefully rooted out of the relationship. It also suggests denial on Doug’s part. He isn’t accepting responsibility for his part in this CrazyMaking dance.”

“I’ve actually noticed some of that in our couples work,” I said reassuringly. “Doug seems uncomfortable with your feelings, and does seem to want the problem to just go away.”

“Unfortunately, Kate,” I explained. “This is slow, hard work.

Denial is a way of viewing the world we create so as to not feel bad about ourselves. Doug needs this denial to be able to avoid looking closely at his character issues. It will take slow, hard work for him to gain insight into these patterns, and own them and change them.”

“But it’s more than that,” Kate protested, gesturing to make her point. “He blames me for making the problem worse. He accuses me of being the ‘troublemaker.’ He loses his temper and then blames me for making him angry. I’m sick of this marriage and don’t know what to do. When I threaten to leave, he accuses me of not being dedicated to the marriage. He doesn’t see that his

pg 36 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | June 2013

“How do we get him to see it if he’s in denial?” Kate asked. “I don’t know that I have the motivation to keep trying. He exhausts me.”

Talking to Kate reminded me of another woman with similar complaints. She writes:

Dear Dr. David. I’m tired of my marriage. I didn’t know marriage was going to turn out this way, and had I known my husband was going to be like this, I might not have gotten married.

I’ve been married for thirty years, and I now realize I’ve played a part in enabling a very dysfunctional relationship.

I tiptoe around my husband because I’m afraid of his moods and anger. I turned off my feelings a long time ago, and now I’m depressed. I’ve been in counseling and realize that if I turn my feelings back on, I’m probably going to feel even more angry and resentful. Besides that, I’m not sure at all that my husband wants to change. In fact, he blames me for all of our problems, and sees himself as a wonderful husband.

I feel confused and lost. How do I begin to work my way out of this depression? What if my husband has no interest at all in seeing his part of our problems? I’m drowning. Please help.

Both Kate and the woman writing this email feel exasperated. At times they feel even worse—discouraged and doubtful anything will really change. Unless they see hope, they are vulnerable to slipping into depression.

What hope can be offered to the “CrazyMaker Crazed?” Sadly, there are no quick fixes or easy remedies. Everything I propose requires depth counseling and serious, invasive treatment. Many are not willing to take such a serious review of their relationship, but that is what’s needed. Consider these steps of action:

crazymaking relationships.

Fifth, expect resistance. Believing your mate will dive into this invasive counseling process will leave you disillusioned. Expect resistance. Watch for excuses, arguments, displaced anger and more thinking errors. Still, insist on change. Insist specifically on staying engaged in the change process.

Finally, stay the course. These problems, often rooted in childhood patterns of dysfunctionality, can be changed, but won’t be eradicated easily. You must rely on your own determination and God’s supernatural humbling of character. You must prepare yourselves for invasive emotional surgery and trust that “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion.”

(Philippians 1: 6) I’d love to hear what has helped you stay the course in a challenging change process.

Dr. David B. Hawkins is the Director of The Marriage Recovery Center in Seattle, Washington. He is the author of over thirty books, including the best-seller, When Pleasing Others is Hurting You.

Bringing You

Peace of Mind

First, take responsibility for your life. There is a saying that goes, “Things don’t change, we do.” That is certainly true. This is your life and your marriage, and waiting for change to occur is futile. Change must occur if you really want your circumstances to be different, and that change must begin with you.

Second, learn about dysfunctional, crazymaking relationships.

While it is true that every relationship has some degree of dysfunctionality to it, some are pathologically unhealthy. In my book Dealing with the CrazyMakers in Your Life, I help you understand what makes a relationship healthy and unhealthy.

Knowing the difference can be a lifesaver for you.

Third, understanding crazymaking, you must learn to identify it, label it, and set boundaries on it. The Scriptures tell us to be wise and discerning, and certainly this is one area of your life where you must become very insightful. Become well-acquainted with crazymaking tactics so you are no longer “crazed,” but equipped to identify and create a plan of action for them.

Fourth, insist on change. The worst mistake you can make is to remain “crazed” and in DENIAL—which means Don’t Even Notice I Am Lying. Insist that your mate join you in in-depth couples counseling to root out these debilitating patterns. Learn together to recognize the “thinking errors” that form the basis of

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