Now We Are Five

Munni Mann: or, A Vision in a Dream A Fragment (consider revising) (Interrupted by a personal computer from Bluescreen) I had just put the finishing touches to my ‘The Unrime of the Old Salt’, * which I’d been persuaded by certain parties to expand up to as much as three verses, when I was awakened by a persistent knocking.

Flinging up the window, I could see at once that my Bluescreen order must have arrived. “Lob it over”, I said to the deliverer as he waved his mobile touchscreen towards me. “No can do, Squire”, he replied.

“You have to sign it with the pointer.”

After this it’s a bit hazy. I must have signed somehow because when I next woke up, the man from Bluescreen had disappeared and the boxes were still there. (At this point I must confess to having helped myself to a fairly generous slug of Naughty Boy’s Friend so it’s possible I did take a short nap before going out and retrieving the boxes.)

Next thing I knew I was unpacking the boxes and arranging everything on my trusty old work table. I was getting rid of (finally) my ancient Doors 3.78 machine and replacing it with this fully featured Doors 15.1, including the very latest touchy-feely knobs and knockers and fantastic multi-wobble bell tones. What’s more, everything talked to everything else wirelessly, so I had nothing more to do than plug it all in and sit back and wait. Plugged it in, napped, switched it on. Absolutely nothing. Hours on the phone to Bluescreen, worse than useless.

Finally, I accepted defeat, pushed it all to the end of the table and put back in place my old Doors 3 machine. Almost at once, I found myself typing something in. The words appeared before my eyes as if someone else were writing them. I was like someone possessed. I felt a terrible surge of sobriety. All the phoning and trying out had kept a glass from my hand. My clear headedness was going to my 54